BDSM And My Structure

Structure no matter the lifestyle is needed , be it vanilla , Daddy Dom , Baby girl , Dominant and submissive , or Master and Slave , and last Domestic Discipline. Structure insures the home is ran smoothly and consistent. Structure insures the family or Master and Slave are on the same page.
Along with Structure comes come rules. Rules are needed to provide structure.
Even when the slave is out rules are followed and they are meant to give the slave a sense of direction. Rules are meant to provide a sense of direction under any circumstances.
A Slave or submissive is a direct reflection of their Dominant or Master. The Training is a direct reflection of the Dominant or Master and while out at a local event be it a Munch or a MAsT meeting or anything that is BDSM related the way your property acts comes back on the Dominant or Master.
While nothing may be said there is talk.

I will give a little insight , while at a recent munch I allowed Arianna to be open to speak as she wanted to. Sitting at a table with a few friends Arianna was laughing and joking having a good time.
As the munch ended everyone opted to go to a nearby Restaurant , we were all seated together and Arianna was laughing and making jokes.

The next day my email on fetlife was flooded with comments on how different Arianna acted the previous night. Everyone enjoyed hearing her crack jokes, and laughing. I explained to another Dominant it was protocols I had in place and that night she was allowed to be open.

If you take a look at http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure

He speaks of standing orders , standing orders are a part of structure and protocols. Standing orders are as follows. Arianna brings me dinner after sitting my plate down she thanks me for allowing her to serve me, she then ask permission to sit. She will not begin to eat until I have taking my first bite. She will ask permission to go to the bathroom , shower , even shave.
When going out I choose her clothes, her nail polish and even how her hair will be done. With the above I am providing structure.

Everything we do is planned , I plan things out one week , two weeks and at times three weeks. We could be going to a Munch or MAsT meeting , out to a park , like last weekend we spent the day at Fort Desoto over near Tampa. I very seldom do anything spontaneous but at times I may have something I want to do and we do it.

Arianna’s mother may call and ask for our help , I will tell Arianna what days we are available and the hours we are available, and that goes with anyone who may ask for help.

Arianna arrives home and the first thing she does is strip , no clothes are allowed while home. She may however request to put on what we call slave dresses. These are very long dresses that touches the ground and have very lite and thin material. The stripping is a protocol.

Now your thinking wow Vile that is to much work , or your way to strict , or your to controlling, or you may be thinking I could never live that way.
The truth is all of the above is obtainable and is really fairly easy , once you the Dominant or Master puts everything in place.

All of the above should be worked out before entering the relationship. What structure will be in place , what protocols will be in place, and depending on how well you know the sub or slave what rules you will be putting in place. What many fail to see is rules are meant to provide structure and a sense of security.

Sending nude pics is not a rule or videos Masturbating , those are in noway meant to help with anything, with the exception of helping with humiliation , because most will send just to please , not because they want to.

Structure must be what ? I have said this a 1000 times , consistent and consistent on a daily basis, if you are not consistent everything you have put in place will not work and the sub or slave will see that you are not in full control. You cannot be a Dominant when you want to be , there is no on and off switch.

Your thinking I could never be that submissive , I could never give up that much control to someone. I am telling you under the right Dominant you could and you would want to give more and more and then spend time trying to figure out how to give even more.

I posed the question to Arianna when we first met how deep do you want to take your submission ? How do you see yourself living on a daily basis as owned property , a slave? Is there anything you need for me to add or put into place that will help you ? Her answer to all of those questions was I do not know.

Two and a half years later Arianna is not giving me input , she is sharing her thoughts and looking for ways to deepen her submission.

I had a Master tell me not long ago man that is just to much work , that is not my thing. My question was how much do you care about your slave ? Are you not willing to invest the time needed to put everything in place? How long do you want your relationship to last ?

You expect the submissive or slave to follow rules why would you expect them not to have expectations ?

Last year Arianna and I went to a local MAsT and the first question posed to me was how do you two argue ? I look at Arianna with a puzzled look , and I am thinking what the fuck is he thinking about? What kind of question is that ?

I look at him and I say we Don’t argue we don’t fight , I have never raised my voice towards Arianna.

How is this possible ? With all of the above, if you implement structure and your consistent , your relationship will flourish and grow with no end in sight.

When I ask people this question no one can give me a straight answer. Why do you argue ?

The above is just my opinion and nothing more. I am not in anyway judging anyone or telling someone how they should be living.
If you think that well to fucking bad.

Some say arguing is good but we all know that is a crock of bullshit , when you argue you say things that hurts ones feelings. Those words are a calm mans thoughts. Bet that. If your fighting and he calls you a stupid bitch he means it. Those are the thoughts he has when he is calm.

erotic3

Vile

6 Responses to “BDSM And My Structure”

  1. seldomseenway Says:

    Reblogged this on Seldom Seen Way and commented:
    Time and time again, I have stressed structure in all of my relationships – vanilla or kinky. You need to know what is expected of yourself, and the ones that you love. The consistency is not as hard as people make it – if you are willing to put the work into… it just becomes your nature to just do.

    Vile has explained it very well in this post. This is how our relationship works, and it is seamless. It just is.

  2. Crimson Star Says:

    I am married and vanilla, but exploring D/s with my husband (wants be Dom) he wants it 24/7 but our ideas are different and we have children in the house which makes things difficult. He wants the control, but his will is not as strong as mine. I have made all the decisions for over 20 years and now it wants the control, but he expects me to just do what he wants no questions asked. He wants a domestic discipline dynamic which I loathe, and in his eyes there is no other type discipline. Anyway I’m sure non of this is making any since. The point I want to make is I have been reading your blog for about a year and you make many valid points about consistence on the Dom’s part. I am a very strong willed out-spoken red head, so if the consistence isn’t there or he fails to acknowledge my efforts I tend to fold and go back to what is comfortable for me. I’m sure it is my failure at being the submissive he wants that is making this journey a very difficult one. I will continue reading and hopefully some day I will find what I need to hear to make it all fall into place. You are very blessed to have Arianna.

    • Many men who explore this side of life do it with no help from the outside.
      That will not happen , you cannot read other peoples opinion and try to make things work.’
      A Dominant is years in the making, not days or months or weeks it is years. Those who disagree have a huge ego problem.

      Today I still have a mentor because I do not know everything, if I did I would be president Vile.

      If you want this to work you need to express your thoughts and feelings , tell him what your willing to do and not do.
      You also need to explain he needs to be consistent , it is not a three day a week thing or 9 to 5 .

      encourage him to find another Dominant to talk to, that is a need or should be.

      Both needs to be communicating and be able to do so openly.

      feel free to email me

      viledesires62@aol.com

  3. I went searching for this post again. I had gotten into an argument with an online Dom and your last lines in this came to my mind in the middle of it. Thank you. Your words resurfaced just when they were needed.

  4. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    Work has been crazy , I’ve been moved to to a different department.
    I have several post I’m working on .

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