Playing And Sub-Drop

Playing and all the kink is the part of our lifestyle everyone looks forward to. The kink is an added bonus for us, the fetishes , the spankings, the bondage , the list just goes on and on.

I am a firm believer what we call Sub-Drop can be prevented with the right care. However just as sub-space , and Sub-drop both effect people differently. The effect of each can be good or bad.
With the proper care and communication sub-drop can be prevented. This is true if you are living together as a D’s or M’s couple.
However if you do not live together that is a whole different ballgame because without being around someone and the Sub-drop kicks in there is really no one to turn to.

I am not going to make this a long drawn out post like I usually do but I am going to share what I believe to be very important. What I am going to share may not be the standards of every Dominant or Master but they are my standards.

When you do not live together having that open line of communication is really hard, even more so if your someone who just likes to play be it in a private setting or public such as a local dungeon. So being in the right head space is not only a need but a must.

I have really gone through some changes here in the past 10 years or so, or maybe my morals or maybe I actually grew a conscious , but in order for me to play with someone I have to have a close connection.

If I did play with someone such as having a session I would be obligated to be there for the submissive for sometime if sub-drop was to hit. I feel I would have an obligation to be there and help if help was needed , and that is not a responsibility I would not want from someone I did not own..

If you meet someone and you play , your play scene gets deep and you find yourself floating away into sub-space, life is good, you have reached the level of submission you came for. Then as fast as it started it comes to an end, and you go home alone. Then Bam Sub-Drop hits you , your head is just fucked up , you have a feeling  of being lost , depression kicks in, you feel lost and confused.

While the play may have been good , it may have been fun, sub-space was incredible, the Dominant was awesome and he knew what he was doing, you clicked , but in the end you both left and went home.

He the Dominant owes you nothing, you met you played you both went on about your Business , he owes you nothing..

The submissive who spoke with us about going into sub-Drop and the Top she was playing with , again the key word TOP, a   TOP is Dominant while playing , after the play  he is himself , the Dominant role is over once he walks out of the room, he owes nothing.

I was really taken back and I was trying to understand the reasoning as to why the submissive was mad because the top was not there during the sub-Drop, it was not his responsibility.

There are those who can play ,there are those who can session   and go home and everything is fine , everything is good. There are those who play without being in a relationship who play and never have any problems.

I believe and this is just me , Sub-Drop can be prevented , if there is on going communication before, during and  after a session.

Sub-Drop effects people different , some want to be held , some want to  talk, some want a hot bath some, w ant to eat , and there are some who want to be left alone.

Sub-Drop your mind is trying to process everything that just happened, your mind is trying to process why you would let someone inflict so much pain on you.

in some cases during play and you think you have reached that point of sub-space , it is actually fear your brain is working over time, your thinking pleasure but your brain is far from pleasure….

I am not speaking of every submissive or slave. The way we process thoughts or feelings is different between each of us. Our thought process is different. The way we process pain be it physical or mental is different.

The bottom line is if your playing and you both go your separate ways and there was no agreement , which If I was just playing that is all it would be, I owe nothing and nothing should be expected.



7 Responses to “Playing And Sub-Drop”

  1. Regardless of your view on this, I think the important part is to communicate your views, limitations and expectations to the party you are playing with prior to the session. That way, everyone is clear and makes an informed decision. Personally, I think after the roles are dropped, it is a two way street. Both parties have a responsibility to make sure the other is ok. Like you, I could never play with someone I did not have a close connection with.

    • I agree with you 100% but many times these play sessions are not communicated , the before nor the after.
      Both should have the responsibility.
      I do not understand how others play not having a connection…

      • I used to think I could, but now I’m not so sure. For me, the connection is needed for the submission and sub space. I think the play would be empty and unsatisfying without some connection.

      • Boom you are on it, thank you for stopping by I would like to hear from you more

  2. Thank You Sir, this explains a lot for me.

  3. I cannot speak for Dominants in general, but I never understood how a Dominant I know preferred to play with those he barely knew, tiring of them after 2 or 3 sessions. Part of the thrill appeared to be the hunt, not the connection he might form, although he did have 2 very long term subs that he played with routinely. All his submissives though were hooked, and were begging for more. He seemed to take great pleasure in discarding them. One of many reasons we were not compatible.

    • I remember the hunt , it was a rush my adrenaline would flow.
      Before the internet it was not as easy but I found more enjoyment in the hunt.
      Then the internet , yahoo profile searches, I could bang a different sub everyday.
      I played and fed off of their feelings, their emotions. Suck, fuck , go home.
      The only reason I can think of why I did these things is well, because I could, different meat.
      That is why today I am so big on safety.
      The problem is peep no one listens no one..

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