Your Purpose Is To Be Used

Fetlife something that just kills me is to see all of the complaining and whining about Daddy Doms, Doms, and Masters. Can my Master do this or that ? Can my Dom treat me this way ? Are these rules fair?

A few thoughts come to mind , one a Lack of communication , a lack of respect , a lack of training a lack of protocol and a lack of not giving a fuck about bashing his name in front of people you don’t even fucking know. My main thought that comes to mind is Bitch ask your Dom.

You as the Baby girl , the submissive or slave did not enter a relationship blindly . I am almost certain at some point and time during your conversation when you first met there was one word that stood out. USED , you were told at some point you were going to be used. You were told you would be trained, you were told you would have rules, you were told you would follow them , and you were told you would be punished.

Now if you did not ask questions and you sat there like some dumb bitch just agreeing and going along with what ever, then you keep your cock sucker shut.

My train of thought is first and for most Arianna is my slave , I own her and deep down I truly believe that statement.  While I do love her with all I have , while I put her first, I own her , we live a 24/7 Total Power Exchange, a relationship many do not understand and you do not have to, you don’t even have to like or respect me, you don’t even have to understand.

The initialism BDSM includes psychological and physiological facets

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bondage and Discipline (B&D)
Dominant and submissive (D/s)
Sadism and Masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)
Master and slave (M/s)

The term be careful what you ask for should be your main focus , because many of you signed up and it was nothing like you imagined , and your Dom is not the one to blame… It is you and only you who has to adapt to your new surroundings. It is you who will be trained not your Dominant.

We attended a MAsT Friday night we had not been able to make one in several months due to my work. I do work from home it mostly has its ups but it also has its downs, at any rate I love it.
Being out allowed me to be around very close friends and I also met a few new ones. The topic was a good one , it was Topping From The Bottom. That will be an awesome post.

Okay I am not sure there are many who are submissive or Baby girls, and even those who think they are a slave, who enter a relationship without a clear picture. Then Bam it hits you like a Brick wall and your thinking what the fuck have I gotten myself into.

Why do some Dominants cheat ? Why do some Dominants go behind their partners back ? I do not have a clue , I suppose if the training was not real, or maybe he did not know what he was doing. Because if he had trained to fit his needs there would be no cheating and no need to.

You may be a partner a lover a submissive , a baby girl, what ever category you fall in , but the bottom line is you are meant to be used. Used to play with, used to fuck, suck what ever your Dominant needs , no questions asked.

If you are having problems in your relationship , sit down and think about resistance you may be putting up , you may or may not know. If you put up a lot of resistance during and after training ask yourself what you can do to make things better, how can you improve things?

One of the subjects I like to talk about or a couple , is Rules , Structure , and Protocols. If you have the last two in place , you will not need very many rules. Structure is putting rules into play as well as protocols for public and private…

If both agree to all terms before entering a relationship , there is no reason to cheat. If the Dominant you meet loves ass fucking and that is a hard limit, then you just need to shake hands and go separate ways. you have a mental list or maybe a written one, as you go down your list each topic should have a check, if it has an X then you can talk about it or just end.

What is your role going to be ? Submissive , Baby Girl , Slave , a pet ? Are you going to be an in-service submissive? Are you going to be used as a sexual toy ? There are a million in one questions to be asked and answered.

To fill my needs and wants I trained Arianna. The way I like my cock sucked, the way I like her to lay while I am fucking her. Before all of this though I had to earn her trust and as I stated before that took me some 6 months, maybe a little longer.

You have to be in the right frame of mind , okay I am going to be cared for but I am going to be used and used a lot. You have to take your training serious…

The main problem going into a D’s or M’s relationship if your new , is getting use to Rules, being told what to do and how to do it, also some go into the new relationship blind not having a clue.

The one mistake I made in the past was not keeping that frame of mind, my slave, my property , for my use. I found this to be hard as a Dominant when I had very little experience, at times I would let my feelings get in the way..

Just a few of my thoughts…


My email is


16 Responses to “Your Purpose Is To Be Used”

  1. Don’t you think there can be different dynamics, Sir? I have found that this lifestyle is not a one size fits all endeavor. I TOTALLY agree that you have to have set parameters before you begin, so nobody is caught off guard, but not all parameters are the same, nor do they have to be. I TOTALLY appreciate your dynamic. It seems to work beautifully for you, but it is not exactly the way Professor and I work. I don’t think that makes our choices any less valid. Thank you for letting me share, Sir. 🙂

    • Absolutely my way is not the only way, I was speaking from my prospective, my way of thinking, and reasons my past relationships have failed.
      Everyone is different and the needs are different.
      I am not hard to live with , I am just very strict, but I am fair.
      I am glad you have that connection and that dynamic going and it is working…
      My blog is simply to make people think that is all.
      My way is not the only way

      • Sorry if I came across as not understanding that you were just expressing your opinion. I COMPLETELY respect the way you run your house. Even as an outsider, you come across very clear and fair in your requirements. I was just commenting that there can be other homes where the requirements are as clear and fair, just different. I appreciate you sharing your views. We should listen and learn from those different from ourselves almost more than we should listen to the like-minded.

      • You are right on target and no you came across just fine….

      • Thank you, Sir. 🙂

  2. miss agatha armstrong Says:

    Interesting. I have grown up in a world (family that is) that is full to the brim of structure, protocols, etiquette and endless rules. A time and a place for everything and everything in its place… Mr F is methodical in His way, and I being me have found a man whom I have just fit. I trust Him truely and would never dream of questioning Him. One day, in the next couple of years, my daughter will leave to start her own life and maybe by then Mr F and i …. Then who knows. i am quite fond of FetLife, but very very rarely read lot of it. It drives me potty. People make things so complicated …

    • I am glad you are in a good place. I believe rules and protocols are needed not just in our lifestyle.
      People do make things complicated, everyone wants to be right, but the truth is we are all right..

      • miss agatha armstrong Says:

        Dear Sir, I’d like to say so much to you … And I could not post what I wanted when you ended your 30 days… Which was … Funny and brilliant and so very insightful. I am now on holiday in Greece with my daughter and her darklikng pa and grandparents so I shall have plently of time on my hands … Maybe not such a good thing… Would you mind terribly if I went back through your posts and wrote.

      • Thank you for stopping by and your comments or questions are always welcome

  3. I completely agree. If the sub/slave/however she identifies has any questions or issues, they should be brought up and discussed at the beginning, especially depending on the type of dynamic that is being proposed. So many people rush into things. I’ve been in talks with my Sir for a few months. We don’t live together (or in the same city), so it’s been a slower process, and I’ve just accepted his consideration collar. I need to be sure that our dynamic will work with my home life. We’ve known each other for over 2.5yrs (we’re in a poly quad with his wife/other sub, and my hubby), but the D/s aspect has only been more formally discussed the past 6-9 months.

    • Thank you for stopping by. I do hope things work out for you as well.
      Arianna and I had thought about a closed Triad but we have found it to be difficult to find the right fit….
      Yes everything needs to be in the open and upfront..

  4. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    Bam this is so fucking true

  5. When I first started to train Izrina, I was worried that she was conforming to what I wanted, in order to be with me. So I tested for that all of the time. It is not unusual for a person to act like someone else, to be with a person they find exciting and new. But then later the old personality returns, and they are not the person you thought you had hooked up with.

    I think this is the greatest danger to making Ds commitments.. honesty with yourself and your partner. Is the thing you are agreeing to for you.. or to be with someone else? Eventually the answer to that question will be of critical importance.

    • I do agree with you 99.5% however lets just take another look. In some situations could it be a need for the slave to have a need to conform ?

      • Yes. Absolutely. I think I see where you are going with this. A slave by nature tends to conform to the one they follow.

        I probably should be cautious about drawing conclusions from Izrina’s case since it probably doesn’t apply to most situations. She had never been exposed to slavery, never thought of it before. I saw it in her, helped her to explore it, and therein lay my concern…had I read her correctly? As it turned out, yes I had.

  6. […] set of comments with one of my favorite Bloggers, Vile.  The exchange can be found in his Blog:  Your purpose is to be used.  He started with, “I do agree with you 99.5% however”.  I am not sure where the […]

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