Just as a job we tend to get comfortable and at some point and time we start to slack, we tend to do less, we start to believe we are not replaceable but the fact is we are.
The same goes for a relationship we get comfortable , we start expecting what we once valued as a gift, our partner just wanting to please. Last week I spoke about the Resetting of the relationship , mainly D’s and M’s but I suppose some vanilla could use the same thing..
I call it continuing Education and as we know things are changing daily, we change, our needs become different and at times more extreme. Right now again Arianna is exploring ways on how she can deepen her submission even more. While she thinks this would be added work to me that is not so, everything else is already implemented.
Something else I wanted to touch on we as Dominants or Masters we all march to the beat of a different drum. We all have our own way of doing things, we all have different visions , needs and wants.
While at a Munch Arianna and I sat next to a D’s couple who are pretty new to the lifestyle and that is what I told him, March to your own drum you have to be happy, find what fits you.
In the lifestyle we grow almost on a daily basis, our needs change, so it is up to the Dominant to step up to the plate and make changes.
So lets say the Dominant is in a happy place , but his submissive comes to him and says hey I think I would like to give up more control, or maybe add a few more rules or protocols.
It may be the Dominant does not want to add more to his plate , but he will also have to evaluate the needs of the submissive. Even though he may not want to take on more, our number one objective is to insure their needs are being met.. There has to be a time when we as Dominants have to look at a bigger playing field and give more even if we do not see the need..
Training is a type of Behavior modification and it takes time , it will not happen over night a week , or even a month. It will take the two a month to get everything worked out…
I run a very strict house , protocols , structure and believe it or not only a handful of rules. Last week Arianna was questioning her submission, stating she could not see her submission, at times she felt less submissive.
I put a plan together , the BDSM reset I spoke about a few weeks ago. I started taking things away. The first to go was the furniture, second she was giving a Dog bowl to eat out of not every night , but at a time I picked so she did not know until we were ready to eat.
I did however allow her 45 minutes a day on the couch after work, but there was a catch. She likes taking a nap in the afternoons after work, along with surfing the net on her phone and tablet.
She had 45 minutes on the couch but there had to be a choice, her phone, table or nap. She had to choose her time wisely..
Yesterday while she was laying in the floor she had a moment, as she sat on the floor she started thinking about her submission and she realized she had no down time at all, she was able to see not only her submission but her task, her protocols, her rules it seems with just a few days everything came to light.
While laying in bed talking she said you really know me, you knew the effect it would have on me, you knew how I would react, and she was correct.
Just a slight change in our daily life made Arianna open her eyes and she realized just how well she had it made.. It made her think and it only took a couple of days.
Training is an on going tool we as Dominants use to keep our house running smoothly…. Training on a daily basis keeps structure in the home.
We are all different , we all have different needs , what we all need to do , is while we may not understand others we should respect their lifestyle. In our world there is no wrong way, and just maybe if we try to understand those we don’t it may allow us to grow.
Something to think about, what type of training did you receive ? How did your training effect you ? How did your training change you ? Is your training consistent ? Do your rules benefit you ? Are you put first in your relationship? Do you have access to your Dominant 24/7 ? I feel these are all important…