Your Passwords.

Your Password is just that yours. No matter the relationship we need some source of privacy.

Trust is a major issue no matter what type of relationship your in, be it Vanilla or Submissive , more so if you have stepped into that Slave role in life.

I as Arianna , Master and Owner have the right to look at anything I want and at times I do pick up her cell and strum through it. At one point she did give me her passwords to all of her accounts but I no longer have. She has no Social Media accounts nor does she care to have.

Now lets turn the tables around , I am driving and I receive a text or email , or maybe an alert from Twitter , ill ask Arianna to read what ever it is to me, all of my emails are open , Facebook , twitter , everything , she as well has full access to anything.  Does this make me weak ? Does this make me Non Dominant ? The way I see it is it makes me open and I have nothing to hide, coming back to that trust thing.

All Dominants are different , Masters and Owners our needs are different, what I am posting about is my personal stance.

This happens mostly when a Dom is married and stepping out or a Dom could have a control issue , ego problems but most of the time it is a security problems meaning the Dom is insecure.

There are those who are insecure who have to bully their authority , who used fear to try and force submission. Fear and submission never works and when it does it is only for a short time. The out come of such a relationship could be devastating to the one who is submitting, not only on an emotional scale but mental.

Being open is very important in any relationship more so when it comes to a D’s or M’s relationship. A friend of mine at a MAsT meeting a couple of months ago made the statement. I can only make and informed decision based on the information that is giving to me, now that is deep. That is why it is so important to be able to communicate and receive the communication back. If you ask a direct question you should expect a direct answer, but it goes both ways.

A year or so ago Arianna came up with this idea , if she was to give me her passwords to all of her emails it would give me more control. I agreed but today I could not tell you what they are.

I myself cannot think of a reason why I would need such information, I however I felt like I needed them there would be a trust issue and I would no longer need your services…

If you have just met someone and you give out everything it can really fuck up your life in a big way and the effects could last for a very long time.

Keep your passwords

Vile

 

 

5 Responses to “Your Passwords.”

  1. Reblogged this on Miss Lizzy and commented:
    Vile always has some good advice

  2. I truly believe what you write here. Back when I first entered D/s my Dominant at that time demanded ALL of my passwords. I was naive, and gave them. Not only did we end things on a very bad note, he maxed out all of my credit cards, deleted a TON of stuff on some of my accounts, changed things, and it destroyed me! I am happy to share anything with my current Dominant, if they ask for it, I will gladly open it up, unlock it, and step aside, but I dont personally feel they need to have it written down or what not. We communicate really well, and I share everything with my Dom. It was a hard lesson learned!

  3. […] Source: Your Passwords. […]

  4. Good thoughts, as always. I find access to the mind, to be of much more significance than anything else. A little monitor, set aside, to record the things that may be of interest to me, is useful. Having passwords is a must if only for the principle,. Regular and predictable use if passwords I think is less effective towards the mindset though. Demonstrating we have and are prepared to use that access is the key.

    Regarding two way openness, I tend not to hold back any important information but on principle I occasionally do not explain some things. I think if questions are not allowed at certain times, that opens the dialog to the level of trust, the goal being to create unquestioned trust at important times.

  5. flufffybunny Says:

    They were talking about this on the radio the other day I can’t remember the details, but there was a lady who’s husband had passed away, and she was trying to get on his ipad to play games, but didn’t know his password, and apple refused to unlock the device for her without a court order.

    They had couples call in to voice their opinions on whether spouses should share passwords or not.. No one could come up with a valid reason not to share, other than if the device was work related and contained confidential info.

    Basically everyone was in agreement that, unless you were hiding something, there was no reason to keep it private from your spouse..

    I tend to agree with that – however, some of us do need more sense of privacy than others. And I think that in these cases it’s a matter of what works best for you and your relationship.. It’s also a matter of context. If someone ever demanded my passwords to check up on me, that would be a huge red flag to me that I already wasn’t trusted, and the hell with them. But my husband and I know each others passwords, not to check up on each other, but because we are forgetful and constantly asking each other “hey, what’s my password for______?”..

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