What It Takes To Be A Dominant

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

5 Responses to “What It Takes To Be A Dominant”

  1. Well that hit home for sure Sir. I was afraid to ask questions when something was being expected of me. They way my Daddy was communicating was not a way I understood and when I ask questions I was told I need to figure it out. So I stopped asking questions and tried to figure it out and then would make him angry or do something wrong or forget something and I would feel like a failure. All I ever wanted was to make him happy and have him realize I care and want to serve him. I guess that never got across 😦

    Lesson learned and I keep learning 😀 thank you again Sir for all of the information that you share with us all.

  2. I agree wth the main thrust of this and I practice not getting angry at my slave and certainly never punish her when I am angry. If it happens that I get angry I tell her I am angry and what made me angry and expect her to learn from that.

    There is one thing that you wrote in your last paragraph about “someone who will not judge or try to change you.” that I don’t concur with. Perhaps I am taking it out of context, but I have changed my slave in many ways, and will continue to do so.

    • Hello and thank you for stopping by , yes I did mean that to come out another way. My Slave has changed into a total different person, meaning the way she thinks, talks , and walks.
      Her whole thought process has changed. So yes I understand exactly what your saying…

  3. This article touches on something that took time and experience for me to understand. There was a time that bad behavior made me angry. Now it makes me laugh. I am amused by the thought that things might be allowed to exist any way other than my way. That may sound harsh or arrogant but it exactly what I promised to to provide.. to be a dominant in all things. If that wasn’t what was desired then or now, just let me know. This is consensual after all. Each of us must be true to our sacred role, our self identified needs, or bow out .

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