We Are Master And Slave

Last Friday we attended a local MAsT meeting and I can say it was one of the best meetings I have been to…

The topic was one I would of never thought of , The Seven Deadly Sins , how interesting does this sound when you attached BDSM to the topic.

Last year I was speaking with a very good friend of mine and the topic of Arianna came up and he said it was like I hit the power ball . He continued saying the relationship we had was very unusual even for a Master and Slave. As I was trying to take in his words I did not fully understand mainly because I am just me.

I very seldom speak about what I have done , nor am I one to brag. Many who know me think I am conceded but that is so far from the truth, the bottom line is I am just confident, and I am confident be it in private or public..

While at MAsT a Mistress made a comment that in any relationship there must be some sort of a exchange of power. As I listened I was trying to understand and I spoke up and said I disagreed , continuing I began to explain in my home I had complete control and the final say.

The Mistress then asked Arianna if she worked out of the home, of course the answer was yes, a 40 hour a week job she has been at for some 16 years. She was then asked if I controlled what she did at work and made her decisions , I saw this getting way off topic, but Arianna replied while she did make decisions at work I knew her every move, Arianna stated if she was told to quit her job she would do so , but it would fall on me, the responsibility and the consequences.

What makes a Master and Slave relationship ? The answer is there is no real clear definition , Each M’s relationship is unique in its own way, it is the way each relationship is defined between two.

The same with those who live a D’s relationship , it is the two who defines their relationship. No one has the right to tell someone they are wrong, no one has the right to tell someone they do not know what they are doing.

Many do not understand our relationship, and while some may be curious once I try and explain some find it to be unbelievable.

Some 3.5 years now I can say Arianna and I have yet to have an argument, and that is something I am proud of , that is something I have or we have both worked hard for. The base of this is from our communication.

When her and I first met we noticed the compatibility right away, we noticed how easy it was to talk to each other and not at each other.

I put strict protocols in place more protocols than rules. Protocol creates stability, consistency and forms good habits , Protocols keeps everything in check, and by staying consistent it keeps everything smooth…

At times a Master needs to humble , a Master needs to accept responsibility when something goes wrong. A Master must admit when he is wrong, as much as I would like to say I am perfect I am not, although at times I may feel I am, but I truly believe that is just confidence.

Expressing my needs prior to entering our relationship , I went into great detail when it came to my needs being met and I was not willing to give in or change anything.

On the other side I had to agree to Arianna’s needs in the type of M’s relationship she was seeking. If I did not agreed with her needs then it would not of been fair if she settled for anything less.


Going into a Lifestyle relationship you have to have a clear picture and understanding of what your getting into. If you look over the bad then you have to deal with the consequences, after all you made the choice…

A mistress was questioning Arianna or stating that there had to be a time in our relationship where she had some control, as the conversation continued it was a D’s relationship she was speaking about and not an M’s.

Arianna made the comment , My master has complete control but with control comes consequences. That is a very true statement that is why when I make a major decision I am thinking of two and not one, however there are times we sit down and I want her opinion and there are times when I do take her advice and roll with it.

Instead of criticizing someones relationship  maybe we should take a little to understand their dynamics. Maybe if we took the time to learn our community would not be so divided.





14 Responses to “We Are Master And Slave”

  1. I think it is all in the definitions. I feel that Arianna has some control in the fact that you have to (have chosen to) think of two people rather than just one (yourself). If you do not think of her as part of your equation at all times – you no longer have a M/s relationship. You have abuse. That is the “power” she wields in your relationship – your desire/need to take care of your property. Without Arianna – you don’t have that~

    • The key word you use is choice. It is Masters choice to think of me and to think of the consequences that his decisions will have for each of us but it would also be his responsibility to deal with the consequences whether his decisions included me or not. I do not agree that such decisions if solely used for oneself would automatically be rendered as abuse. That is a strong word and should not be lightly defined. Master and I not only maintain a M/s relationship but also Owner/property and in that, one from the outside could see Master as selfish, inconsiderate, or abusive because my power was handed over to him once and I only have the rights which were given back to me. This is no longer a continual condition that needs to be exchanged. This was an action on my part to give that power to him. Once given, my “choices” were finished. That is where freedom lies. Sure, I have many responsibilities but that cannot be mistaken for choices. In that one sense, one could see a selfishness or an over extension of authority which could lead some to the conclusion that it is abuse. That word like most others in the BDSM community are open to interpretation.

      • I still maintain that in the initial choices Vile made and you made (and agreed to) in the beginning of the relationship, power was exchanged – and you hold some form of power in his desire to treat his slave well. He honors your maintenance needs. Otherwise, he would walk away as he has done with others in the past.

      • PS. I do not see Vile’s treatment of you as abuse – that is the point. His act of desiring to care comes from the power you hold over him by being his slave.

      • I understood that you weren’t calling us abusive but still defining abuse in a broad sense that if he didn’t take me into consideration ALL the time that it could be. I do not define power the same way you do. I do not hold any “Power” over him. And if it is defined how you say that would not be a M/s or definitely not an O/p relationship as I define. So I guess we will have to agree to disagree. I live our relationship everyday, every hour with every breath.. my serving Him comes from His acceptance of me. His decisions speak of His character and not from my Power.

      • Actually my definition is a compliment to you. Because you are Vile’s Arianna – you hold power, just by the virtue of being you. As you pointed out that I have no knowledge of your relationship and experiences – I don’t live it, but you do not know me, my relationships and experiences either. That is the beauty of BDSM — accepting all definitions and relationships, correct? A tough thing…to accept differences in viewpoints and different data sets, huh? That said, I am sending love and wishing you two well, as always. XO

      • Thank you for your comment, while I can see your side , it is truly different with Arianna and I as a owner property relationship….

      • You are very welcome and its no problem that you, Arianna, M. and I see if differently. That’s (Thank Goodness) what makes the World go ‘Round. 😉

  2. You said “the hard part comes with maintaining it.”. Amen to that. Life has a way of happening while you are busy making plans.

  3. I absolutely agree with this. There is completely different “etiquette” for every relationship no matter the roles. You may have hold a tighter leash than another Master with the same type of relationship or vice versa. You can’t judge a situation that you’re not in. As long as both people are SSC your concern is null and void.

  4. Reblogged this on thekinkyworldofvile and commented:

    I love this

  5. Each couple is different. As long as you help eachother grow and become a better person at any given situations be it at home, work, or any social settings, then you are fine. And as long as you feel safe and loved in eachother’s arms, complete control vs partial becomes irrelevant.

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