Over the years I have talked to hundreds or slaves and those who are submissive, most of the conversation has been about rules , who when , what and where?
You meet a new Dominant and after the meeting you have a long list of rules you must learn and remember word for word, you must be able to repeat them when asked , but the fact is the Dominant cannot do that. Why ask someone to do something if you cannot do it?
Knowing someone for an hour , a week or even a month there is no way someone could possibly implement any type of rules.
You have a Dominant then you have a Master these are clearly two different type of people. In most cases the Master is in a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange while a D’s relationship the submissive has say in what happens and can say NO fuck you I am not doing it. A TPE relationship runs much deeper but in many ways both have the same responsibility. We are to take care of ours and we ensure our partner is on the right path. We set goals , we have a plan for self-improvement so the rules we put in place should be for the good.
Dominants and Masters are in theory Therapist without PHD’s but the difference is we can come up with a plan, a plan to guide someone in the right direction. A Therapist spends about 15 minutes in a session and tries to make decisions based on the information giving. Based on the information giving is based on the prescription giving, and I know from experience more often the information that is giving is not 100% honest. Most do not feel comfortable opening up their life to a complete stranger more so if you’re in the lifestyle. If you do not share your lifestyle there is no way anyone can possibly make the right decision.
When asked by a doctor about our home life I explain we have a very structured home, we have communication, no drama but most of all no arguing. Most catch on to our lifestyle without me having to go into great detail. I go on to explain I take care of everything , I handle all problems we may face and at times I handle problems Arianna knows nothing about.
A great deal of those who are slaves and submissive suffer from some type of depression , some are even bi-polar. I did not say all so please do not put words in my mouth.
Many take medications many take more than one, so we need to know what type of medication and why? What is your medication suppose to do and what happens if you do not take it?
we have to know all of the above before we can even think about giving out any type of rules.
We have to know what makes them tick, why do they think the way they do, but most important what are they thinking at any giving moment. I know several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind, what is she thinking? Many times if you ask what is wrong it throws up a defense a wall goes up and the fight begins, when in actuality there may have been nothing wrong. This is the base of most arguments , fights screaming at each other. we say things to hurt each other, we use words we would not normally use. It takes longer for words to heal than it does a black eye, words are never forgotten.
A few things we tell a potential partner when we first meet them is always be honest , meaning always tell me the truth. Be open , communicate and always be loyal. We also state we will be there no matter what and we have their back when no one else will.
If we expect the above then why would a Slave not expect the same in return? Why should we be held to different standards ?
Submission cannot be demanded, respect cannot be demanded, loyalty cannot be demanded. Everything we do as a Master or Dominant has to be earned.
You will call me Sir , you will call me Daddy, you will call me Master why ? This or those titles we so crave are earned, the same way we earn respect , the same way we earn trust.
Once you begin or agree to start a relationship then we can start to implement some rules, perhaps a daily bed time or a wake up time. If medication is being taking a good rule would be to let you know when and what.
Most Dominants who are new to the lifestyle often give rules out that are just sexually based. Like you must worship my cock or suck whenever we are alone. You must wear short skirts with no panties. You will learn to take my pain, you get the idea nothing has to do with structure or improvement.
Just because we are Dominant does not mean the submissive next door will fit our needs, it does not mean the slave we are talking to is our fit. This is where the getting to know each other comes in. Learning about each other, our likes and dislikes. We do not want to come off as trying to change someone, we want to let the slave know we want to improve. Although changing someone can be done it does in tell a lot of work and should only be done if you plan on the relationship being long term.
There are two hard parts in finding the perfect partner and there is someone who is perfect. Finding the right partner, then finding the right partner who is willing to adapt to your ways, follow your rules, follow your structure and be willing to be trained and take it seriously. If you find the above then it is a need for the slave..
Have a plan put in place, knowing who you are and what type of Dominant you are will determine what plan you need. This goes for the same with the sub or slave.
If you’re a Daddy Dom why would you pursue a Submissive or even a Slave? If you’re a Baby Girl why would you pursue a Dominant or a master?
Rules and protocols run the same path both basically have the same outcome. However, both will help where help is needed.
The slave must be willing first off, rules , protocols, and training must be a need , if everything is just a fantasy it will be time wasted, if a need the possibility’s are unlimited .
The need to give up total control the, need to give another total control, not a want but a true need.
If your rules are mostly about sucking cock, no panties in public , or anal training if you’re in a LTR , sending pics or videos , then maybe you should sit back and rethink your relationship.
You have to truly need it, you need to crave and with the right leader your relationship will truly rock.
Before moving into a relationship why would you not want someone who wants to be friends, someone who wants to get to know you as a person a friend , even a best friend before moving into the kink area. I would think you would want someone who has your best interest in mind and you can see the difference but you turn your head hoping everything will be okay , even if it is not you stick around in fear of being alone…
Living apart makes a D’s relationship rather hard for the Dominant to maintain control. I myself am hands on, I am visual. I like to stay in contact even through out the day, I like knowing where mine is and what she or they are doing. I require check-ins, I want to know how the day is going. These are forms of protocols if you have enough protocols in place very few rules are actually needed..
Rules are meant to improve where improvement is needed…
Last you must have 24/7 access toyour Dominant , you must be able to ask questions ands hare your concerns. You must be allowed to communicate.. A good Dominant will never raise his voice or shlow anger towards you