I Am A Dominant Call Me Sir

You are new to the lifestyle and very excited to learn everything you can but most of all finding the One. I hope that you would talk to many but chances are you will end up speaking with only 2 or 3 before taking that leap.. After only chatting for a short time you are giving a direction to call the one you met Sir.

I firmly believe in the lifestyle we need titles , we need titles to identify ourselves when it comes to meeting others. It explains our position in the lifestyle , maybe a Daddy , a Dominant a Master and so on. In the end it is our property who addresses our identity.

Speaking with someone a couple of months ago who is somewhat new to the lifestyle , he had asked me if I could introduce him to a submissive. Being new Dominant in our community can be somewhat tough because there is a vetting process we all go through. I was told by this new Dominant that he was displeased with the vetting process and thought it was not fair. I sent information one being bestslavetraining.com a huge source of information and the other of course my blog here although most is just my opinion but my opinion is based on more than 20 years experience. You do not have to agree with everything but I am sure there are parts you can take and put to use.

So I introduce the Dom to a submissive a very good friend and at first everything seemed to be going well but it soon fell apart. One was the work schedules but my thoughts are if you want something to work it can work if you are willing to make the effort. Once the frenzy fizzled out he lost interest. I asked if he had read the material and he stated he looked over it but was more worried about his own well being , so in short no he did not. I sent it again and received the same answer so I see this as not wanting to put any effort into learning. I also made the point that it was very important to get out in the local community , you cannot just sit at home and hope someone will just walk up to your front door and drop to their knees.

The truth is you are in full control for the most until you decide to submit. The Dominant may make request but it is you who has the final say. You have the right to question , you have the right to avoid any situation that may make you feel uncomfortable.

What do you want me to call you ? You will address me as Sir! By now you may have formed some type of rapport but not near enough for you to have gained enough respect to call someone Sir , unless you were brought up in such a way and just being polite. One who makes such demands again have severe ego and security issues.

Here is the problem , most not all who are new to the lifestyle want to learn but they want to learn on their terms. When a relationship fails the blame goes to the submissive and not the one who is truly at fault.

Things have changes , people have changed but most of all the lifestyle has changed. The new Dominants entering the lifestyle wants the cake and ice cream but do not want to put in the effort.

Recently mentoring someone for a very short time , I found this to be true. What I found disturbing is wanting me to introduce him to someone.  Introducing a Dominant with no experience , nor the wish or need to learn placed me in a very bad place. So I decided to give it a try and I knew someone who I thought might have some compatibility , this ended to be a huge mistake.

You cannot start off on the right foot when one starts off making demands. You cannot start a relationship when a 100 rules stuffed down your throat.  One may be able to start off with a few small rules such as bed time or texting ,  but to hand you a book of rules without even knowing you is insane.

Remember rules are strictly for the betterment of the slave. If it starts out with you having to send naked pics or videos then you should just move the fuck on..

Stay calm and think logical and your way of life will come..

Much Love

Vile

 

3 Responses to “I Am A Dominant Call Me Sir”

  1. Another excellent article full of good tips. About titles: Nothing gets the fur flying in Fetlife faster than trying to define titles.. which for me is just so much bullshit.

    I get that we are all different. I get that each of us defines who and what we are. I get that what makes one relationship breaks another. That is not the point.

    The point is we need common starting points, common ways of saying exactly who and what we are before we can start that all important communication…

    Rant over.. one of my buttons…

    • I can no longer keep up with all the titles on FetLife. More and more are added almost daily

      • LOL… Quasi hetero, homo flexible, gender non specific, Dominant, commanding masochistic needs, with weekend submissive schedules, and alternating Mistress and Master roles on third Fridays, punctuated by a Goddess role on lunar schedules. I’m sure there is an acronym.

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