Archive for the 24/7 Category

The Slave Is A Direct Reflection Of You

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 5, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Slave , the Submissive , the Baby Girl you train is a direct reflection of you. A direct reflection of how your home is ran m your training , your protocols and even the way your property dresses. When out together the way your property acts is a direct reflection of you the owner, when you have company over , a direct reflection.

Much of this falls under your training , your protocols and really how much you care. If you really do not give a fuck it shows.

The more you show you care , the more protocols you put in place , the more you enforce your rules the more your property will appreciate you.

Vile

 

 

The Power Of Slave Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM Relationships, Dominant and Submissive, Face Fucking, fetlife, Master And Slave, molding your slave, owned property, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on June 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training has to be a need , not a want, if it is just a want it has no meaning. One day a week or so ago Arianna made the comment about the Topic Brainwashing , other topics have been Hypnosis. Both topics were really no surprise as she spends a good deal of time looking for other ways to offer her submission even more than she does now, she continues looking for ways to give up more control.

A TPE relationship or Total Power Exchange is not a easy task and even more so if it is a micromanaged but as time goes on it becomes less of a task and more of a way of life. Generally it takes both about 90 days to get their feet in the ground and well adjusted.

So lets set sex to the side for now and concentrate on the building of a lasting relationship. In the past sex was hard to put on the back burner. Putting sex on the back burner is very important and it is a need in order to build a successful D’s Or M’s relationship.

Training is a need and not a want , I mean the type of need that keeps you awake at night, the need to please someone , the need to give up control. If your needs are met then there are no wants..

Your body and mind belongs to someone else, you are told how to do your hair, the color, nails and how do dress. Sex will be new as well , your told how to suck dick , how to fuck, you become a toy.

Arianna and I spoke at our local munch this past week on the building a TPE , Total power exchange relationship. We love sharing our story on how we met , how we started and how we grew and today we continue to grow.

Sitting back and watching the transformation , the changes not so much at first but then you can see almost on a daily basis. The Slave however in most cases are not fully aware of any changes at all.

Starting out taking small privileges away , things that are cherished such as being able to sit on furniture, being able to sit at the dinner table and sitting on the floor next to you. Giving direct times to shower , using the bathroom asking permission to do anything. The forming of habits it very important , again being consistent on a daily basis , even hourly.

I prefer keeping my property nude while at home , no clothes unless I give the word. This bring on a more humble feeling , the feeling of being exposed. At times depending on the company who comes over determines if I allow clothes or not. Putting restrictions in place on when and where the Slave can sit and permission must be giving before any type of action.

Everything is earned nothing is giving , there are goals put in place and goals must be reached before moving on to the next level of training. Reaching goals there are small rewards, small privileges are giving. What ever is giving depends on your dynamic , your agreement in your relationship after all each is different.

If you the Dominant are going to put rules in place , protocols you have the responsibility to explain everything in full detail so the Slave understands what you are saying. The Slave should be able to ask for clarification if there are still unanswered questions.

Training a Slave or Submissive cannot begin until you know either inside out, you cannot impose any rules without fully knowing the needs.

The Slave is not your mother , the Slave is not your grandmother , if you want a mommy figure then move back home. I pickup behind myself , there are some days I cook and I will explain why.

We expect so much from our property , and you can get to a point to where there is a breaking point , so we as Dominants have to take up some of the load. Every Slave needs down time, a time to relax , clear their head. Get out for the day , see friends or family , go to a movie doing something giving the mind a chance to relax. This also allows down time for the Dominant, because not only do we work but we take care of the home as well. I myself need that time alone just as a Slave does, I need that time to clear my head.

Accountability is huge , there is a lot of meaning behind that word. The Slave has to know they are held accountable for their actions. The Slave has to know there are consequences. The Slave has to know the privileges giving can be taken away at any time. If you are going to punish then punish , you cant bark like a wolf and never attack. Say what you mean and do what you mean and if your going to punish explain in detail why and what punishment you are going to use. However you cannot sit around and watch hoping something is going to go wrong you are setting the Slave up for failure.

Rules are meant for improvement , rules are meant to be followed however I prefer protocols over rules. If enough realistic protocols are in place then very few rules are needed.

Using the Slave , and this has worked for me over the years but more so while in my relationship with Arianna. In the beginning stages of our relationship I made it clear sex was all about me. If she was allowed to cum it was earned and no I was not using Orgasm control, again its about me. The slave gives her self , and giving I mean fully.

You the Dominant when entering a relationship make your needs known upfront, lay everything out on the table, be clear and make sure the Slave understanding. If the Slave states one of your needs is off limits then sit down and talk. At this point you cannot be making any type of demands. If the two of you cannot come to an agreement then you move on. Just as the Slave is looking for the right owner , the Owner is looking for the right Slave.

Watching fifty shades of grey almost made me sick, although the movie is credited to bringing more men and women alive and opening their eyes , and I am sure it has helped some relationships in the bedroom.

The first movie while negotiating their contract Mr Grey gave in to almost all of his needs, the word is need. The second movie when begging for her to come back he got down on his knee almost begging. This showed how weak he was , I was really disappointed.

While the movie was based on being submissive during sex , there was absolutely nothing in the movie about a Dominant or Submissive on how they live on a daily bases, there was no structure , thus having no meaning. The Movie had nothing to do with Master and Slave. To some men the movie was a open door to abuse, some men think all women think that way and that is just not true.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/23/college-student-accused-of-rape-claims-he-was-reenacting-50-shades-of-grey/?utm_term=.93211a13bf53

It is really fucked up how some people think, its fucked up how those who call themselves Dominants and see submission as a form of weakness.

Back to using , once you have agreed to enter a relationship and the terms are made clear you are ready to begin. I find the words making love very hard to use, It is seldom I can even get off in that frame of mind. I have the mindset I am using my property , I am using my property for my pleasure, I am using my property so I can get off. At times I am extremely rough and at times not so much. I love getting my cock sucked , there is not a better feeling and while I try to be somewhat gentle yea it does not end up as such.  I use the term face fucking, I love that gagging feeling , feeling the muscles grabbing my cock. I love anal sex at times I use lube then there are times I go straight from the mouth to the ass or from the pussy to the as. I love ass to mouth, which makes me wonder if banks know what ATM really means. The word again is use , you use your property.

This is something I shared on Fetlife.

I am not into the pain , I am not into humiliation although at times I do believe it is necessary .
I am not into abuse of any kind , be it physical , mental , or verbal.

My slave and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I am .

On our wedding day we also had a collaring ceremony and to this day my slaves collar has never been off.

I am into a well structured home , I am into a drama free home, I am into a problem free home.

I run a very strict home , rules are followed , I have strict protocols in place both are followed without question.

I am into communication I set time aside on a daily basis.
There are no cell phones allowed during any meal public or private.

My slave comes first without question.

To this day we have yet to have a single argument, this is something I take pride in.

I just wanted to say thank you Arianna

I crave the control , I crave the structure , I crave the drama free life , I crave the problem free life, I am living the dream.

I dont want passwords  to accounts that is just fucking childish , if I cant trust you I dont need you. I am far from insecure, however I will take the phone or pad and go through when I feel like it. I think in 4.5 years ive going through Ariannas phone and pad maybe 5 times , Lynn now our third once.  There is a huge difference in being in control and being controlling.

Find your space , find your needs , and find someone who shares the same interest you have..

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blow job, cock sucking, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, consequences, Dominant and Submissive, Ego, Face Fucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Kink, Low Self Esteem, masochist, Master And Slave, Online Dominants, owned property, Owned Slave, Poly Triad, Private Protocol, Punishment, self confidence, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sitting here listening to Bret Michael’s jamming with friends , and it fucking rocks. Music is a passion of mine , it is my release , it is my time to chill , gather my thoughts , enjoy my own little world.  Ted Nugent , KISS , Aerosmith , and some country at the top of my list Kid Rock. I love the cheesy kung fu movies that comes on Thursday nights. I am a huge news fanatic so if there is something you want to know just ask.

I am very laid back for the most , I have never raised my voice or lost my temper towards my property. This is not to say I am a push over because I am not , I speak my mind no matter where I am or who I am with.

I am a Buddhist , I have learned to channel my anger but as with any man or human there is a limit. At one time I had a very bad temper , I drank a lot , you could hand me a bunch of pills  and I would not even ask what they were I would just take them. I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but I failed. I would smoke and someone would just grow more. I was on a down hill spiral with not a care about tomorrow or the future.

A Dom who has a temper is not a Dom he is a abuser and nothing more. A man who hits a woman out of anger is a pussy because he will not hit anyone who will not fight back. A Dom who will not allow you to ask questions and want answers is not a Dom. A Dom who does not allow open communication is not a Dom…

However that road of destruction ended around November 1986. October and November I lost my first two jobs after my exit from the US Army. I went cold turkey I stopped everything at one time not looking back… I thought for sure I would of had some type of withdraws but that was not the case, however I did lose most of my friends or I assumed they were friends…

At this time I was living in a small town called canton Ga. It had changed a lot being gone for ten years. Most of the people I knew had moved or changed so much we no longer had anything in common…

My Dominance is a gift and I mean that. A gift means I am taking time out of my life and offering a gift. My gift I am setting my time and life to the side and offering you security , I am offering a sanctuary of peace no drama , no arguing . I am offering you respect , I am offering you me. I am offering you a open door 24/7 , I am offering you communication 24/7. I am offering you stability , I am offering you protection. I will allow you to grow and I will conform to your needs. I will take the time out of my life to train you to fit my needs. I will not take advantage of you , I will not mislead you , I will admit my mistakes. I will offer more than I take but most of all I will always put you first.

Wow! looking over the list and it could of continued I am sure with enough thought. I just wanted to crack the door open and let people take a peak inside.

Both dominance and submission is a gift both have much to offer and prove. I am of course speaking of the beginning steps in a new relationship.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.

I am at a later date going to speak about our triad , we now live as three and while there could be some improvement things are really going well. My time training is limited due to my work but Arianna has stepped up to the plate and is offering guidance .

The Slave has a different mindset than a submissive. A submissive can and has the right to say NO. The submissive can impose limits on the relationship. The submissive can have the choice of when and when not to submit.

The word Slave , the word ownership , the word property. We all know owning a slave is not in any way legal but it is a mindset. The slave kneels holds her hands out and says I am yours to take and use.

You have to want it , you have to need and crave, it has to be in your blood. You have to live, dream and walk with this deep need and desire.

Arianna is a very unique Slave , during her training there was no rejection , there was no resistance, I could see in her eyes she had a hunger. To this day she continues to seek ways to submit more to give more. Everyday I grow with her everyday my respect grows. As my needs change Arianna conforms , but as she changes I conform to meet her needs.

Giving yourself without a thought having that feeling of being completely owned. Willing to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. Being used as a sexual object at the drop of a hat. You can be loved but in the end you are owned property.

Now I sit looking back over the years and thinking about the transformation , thinking about the growth. Watching someones habits change, watching needs change. More than willing to follow rules , protocols and understand there are consequences for her actions. To this day Arianna continues to search and find ways to submit more , she has that need, it is something she craves.

You the Slave must be in the right frame of mind and have a understanding what is about to take place. You must be willing to have over your mind and body and be willing to hand over complete control without question.

Are you Domestic more service orientated ? Are you just going to be used sexually ? Are you a Masochist used for pain? Or are you a mixture of all rolled into one?

You also must be giving a clear understanding what is expected of you , what your training will consist of , how long your training will be. You will want to know what the final goal is.

Trust is the main factor in building a Master / Slave relationship. The slave knowing once she or he agrees to the terms negotiated during the process.

You have to know most of your rights will be stripped away from you. You must know you and your body will be used , without warning. You will be taken when and how your Master chooses.

However and there is a however , you should still be allowed to see friends and family , a slave needs what I call down time. A time to relax and breath , to be able to clear the mind. A time to reflect on past and future.

We as Masters and Dominants take and we must give back more than we take. Probably two or three times a week I tell both Arianna and L that I really appreciate everything they both do. At time I do help out as well. On my days off I cook and at times I even jump in and do a few dishes.

A Slave is not your maid although the slave will be giving chores to do , A slave is not your mom. I pickup behind myself. If I use something I put it back. I do not demand dinner be done at a certain time, both know when I take lunch , If I am going to be late they eat before me.

Many just sit back and look for reasons to punish and my question is why? We can just sit back and find something wrong and the first thing that most grab is a belt or paddle.

Although I run a strict house punishing is something I do not look forward to, just as a parent feels bad for punishing a child.

We as humans , Masters and Dominants make mistakes maybe not on a daily basis but we do. Slaves and submissive’s make mistakes as well but nothing more could be more devastating known they have failed.

As with the 7 types of Submissives there are just as many slaves , but also there are just as many Dominants or Masters..

The service slave is more geared towards service , cleaning , cooking , and keeping things in order. Although sex does play a part service is their main goal. Just knowing their Master is pleased gives them pleasure.

The sex slave can be a little service orientated but is geared more at being used as a sex object , at times no holes barred. The sex slave gets off more knowing they have pleased than them getting off. Most sex slaves will conform to what pleases the Master and urge those actions more.

The Masochist in most cases is neither just as a full blown sadist. Very little structure , very few rules, it is all about the pain and the pleasure the sadist gets out of inflicting pain.

The all around slave a mixture of all of the above , a slave that needs a little of all , being used , in service and at times stepping up to take what pain is giving..

We as Master need to step up to the plate , owning one of the above takes a great deal of time and responsibility. We must make ourselves available 24/7. Arianna knows she can wake me at any time to talk.. We must give more than we take.

Being codependent does not make you broken , being needy does not make you broken , having a low self esteem does not make you broken in fact many times it makes you special.

I have heard many times I am broken or I am not worthy of having a Dominant or Master.

I myself prefer the needy part even the codependent , it is just knowing how to handle and being able to offer the care. Short term neither play out good if both sides are not ready to commit.

I have found very few Dominants or those who call themselves Masters who are truly willing to take any type of relationship serious or willing to take the responsibility needed.  These are the guys who hide behind the computer , the trolls who really have no clue. Once they find someone who is gullible enough it is short lived . The crazy rules the unrealistic demands , the confusion of changing rules just so they can punish.

Training is very time consuming just the initial training I am going to say 90 days with hands on contact on a daily basis. In order to be in control you have to be able to reach out and touch. Online training does not work , it works as long as the computer is on and you have 24/7 contact then it is still iffy.

You have to have need , the craving to be owned , the craving to be used , the craving to be called property. The craving to be able to hand yourself over completely.

The hardest part is the first 90 days it will tell you number one if you are just going through a frenzy or the life of a slave is not you….. It is easy to throw in the towel and give up , it takes a lot to stick it out , but if things are not what they seem , the raise the white flag and say I am done… No shame your just being true. I can assure you the Dominant you leave is not the last in the world.

I believe at times humiliation is needed , it is needed to bring someone back down to reality. It is meant to give a shock , kinda like sticker shock when looking at a new car. It brings someone ego back down to earth. Even during my relationship there are times I will use some form of humiliation to keep things in check , it puts them or reminds the slave of their place..

The word USE I use my property , I use my property for my pleasure , even during fucking I use the word USE , I love using you , I love fucking my property , I love fucking your ass. I like the little reminders..

We live a micromanaged relationship as most of you know. I control everything. I control hair color , I control the length , the nail polish , her clothes . I control the way she walks , talks. I control how she acts in public. I control bathroom , food , bedtime , shower , shaving. I receive a hourly check in 90% of the time with pictures. Both girls have a mileage book although I do not check it on a regular basis it is there if I have the urge to look. I have no passwords , I see no need mainly because I am secure enough in my relationship. However I will at times pick up the phones and strum through them.  If you as a Dominant has the need to demand passwords you do not trust and you have a very low self esteem.

If you the Dominant are insecure how can you control someone and your ego not be behind the force of your relationship? A relationship based on insecurities and ego will be short lived and you brought it on yourself, but you will sit in a corner and cry like a little bitch. Even in a relationship when things don’t go your way you still act like a little bitch.

You cannot be a part time Master , you have to be a Master 24/7 365

If you noticed I did not speak to much about Kink , or Bondage. My relationship runs much deeper. While at times I enjoy getting rough , at times I enjoy bondage , at times I get off on sexual abuse , face fucking being my favorite, then anal. I am more about the control , I love being in the mind. I love the structure . I have a life with zero problems and zero drama.. I love my life

New Dominants your best source for information http://bestslavetraining.com/

Oh My Ride

 

Grow up and be a man…

 

 

You Want The Pussy But Not The Responsibulity

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, commitment, communication, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Protocols, pussy, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , on February 19, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are idiots everywhere , and there are people who think with their Cocks as a matter of fact their cocks run their life. If you were to cut the mother fucker off they would be lost.

Why do most people associate BDSM with abuse ? Because of the above the idiots , the retards who want the pussy but not the responsibility.

Those who play the game , those who hurt people because they have no clue, just take out a flogger and start swinging without a care. Those who rape because you think they want to be forced. Those who see Submission as a weakness. Those who want the control but give nothing back.

I have zero respect for those Married Doms or claim to be Dominant. Think about it if they were so Dominant they would be running their house , but that is not the case their wife better known as Mommy take care of them.

Something I hate some stupid fuck makes a comment and leaves no way to contact them or respond to my reply.

FullPotato

There are still core behaviors consistent to all humans. While everyone is an individual, they still share humanity’s foils.
Where is the line between domination and abuse? Are those interchangeable terms? When does the master/submissive/slave relationship change from positive to negative? In-fact what constitutes a positive relationship?
This fuck has not a clue about the lifestyle but has read enough to know there are millions of fucking retards who are predators , those who abuse.
I have blogged about Married Doms probably 50 times or more out of almost 3000 post and not one , not one has stood up and said a word or justified his reasoning .
You who are submissive seeing married Doms and that is cool as long as you know he will never divorce Mommy. He is with you because his wife will not take it up the ass but you will. The minute you become needy he will drop you like a bad habit.
If and when a Dominant takes that step into a brand new world your life changes , it is like hitting puberty all over again. Your thought process changes , your needs change , your wants change, and the type of woman you are looking for changes.
It is like starting elementary , stepping up to middle school then high school , you never stop learning.
I watch , I listen and I observe. I never want to stop learning each day is a new experience . You learn by others mistakes , you learn by thinking before you act , you learn by thinking logically, you learn by taking responsibility for your own actions, You learn by knowing your decision affects two and just not one.
The main problem with a new Dominant is he kinda knows what he wants , he has envisioned the role , the things he wants to do , but his thoughts are purely sexual. He has not sat down and thought the whole process out. His rules are sexual , demeaning , humiliating , rough and thoughtless. He has not thought through the emotions that will come out , nor the neediness , and in some cases the codependency side of the submissive. While thinking about having a slave non of the above has come to his thoughts. The Dominant will become defensive , he will start losing his temper pushing you away , calling you names, then comes the end he explains you are not the one for him.
One of the first things I tell a new Dominant is to find a mentor 1 out of a 100 will take that advice and 1 out of a 100 will succeed. The other 99 will put the blame on the slave because she was not a true slave , her submission was fake.
These guys fail because of a lack of knowledge and a lack of caring. These guys will move from slave to slave to slave and he will find something wrong with each one because he is not willing to put the effort into building a relationship. These guys are only interested in getting their cock sucked , fucking someones ass , just using until she is no longer fun or he just gets bored.
Building a M’s or D’s relationship is not an easy task if you are serious and have a plan. Before handing out any rules you have to know the Slave inside and out. You have to know what makes her think the way she does. Again this takes the want , this takes effort and this takes a need.
As young Dominants we all had the same thoughts when it came to rules . You will never wear panties , you will always wear a skirt, you will worship Master Cock, you will be ready for inspection at all times, your pussy must be shaved at all times , your ass will be ready at all times. Then we hit the Dominant Puberty stage and our thoughts change..
The truth is with a little planning , a little need , a little caring both can have the ultimate relationship but both have to have the need. The Slave the need to submit and serve , the Dominant the need to take control and responsibility.
I run a very smooth home , there are no problems , there is no Drama but most of all there is no arguing. I have more protocols than I do rules , as a matter of fact you can turn your protocols into rules. Rules are meant for self improvement , rules are meant to keep your slave on a straight path. Both rules and protocols are to be followed and it is the Dominants responsibility to insure the Slave follows and he has to let the Slave know there are consequences if a rule or protocol is not followed. In public a Slave is a direct reflection of her owner.
You want sex on demand , you want your cock sucked on demand, you want anal sex on demand. You want everything on demand but you have to give back more than you take. You have to be willing to take the good and bad. You have to be willing to stay consistent on a daily basis. You have to be willing to communicate and listen. You have to be willing to talk to your Slave and not at her.
The question that comes to mind is , is there a such a thing as a perfect Slave ?  Absolutely there is and we The Masters create that perfect slave we mold to fit our needs and wants. We as Masters create our own world , have have the ability to control our life , our surroundings , and even out in public. If you are going to talk you have to be able to walk the talk,,, Hmmmm did that come out right?

Interview With A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , on February 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A couple of years ago the interviews were a regular part of my blog but as time went by it was hard finding someone who would take part. Promises Made Promises Broken.

I find the interviews very educational because it gives you a peak into someones life…

This awesome interview comes from a fellow blogger who lives in a Master , Slave relationship 24/7…

Every Dominant is different , each has different views , different needs and different goals.

Each Submissive or Slave is different , each has different needs , some may have an idea  but need direction. Most are looking for just a few things in a relationship , security , trust, assurance and stability. There are many who need structure in their life, many who need daily direction , rules and accountability.

 

https://livingwithx.wordpress.com/

So here we go enjoy

 

(1) When did you first becomes interested in the lifestyle, and what degree did you want to take it?

Well, that would depend on what we mean as the lifestyle.. I have always been kinky. It started at an extremely early age.. Six I would say.  I was aware of sex and it fascinated me.  But in my child’s mind, I couldn’t figure out how a man could ever stick his “thing”, into a woman, and she would just let him. So in my child mind, my first fantasies began with rope, and bondage. My first apartment had rope.  My first house had a water bed with rings at all four corners.  I used to keep blanket strips, neatly rolled up beside the bed.  They make lovely ties.. So soft and yet so tight and strong.  You really have to try bondage with blanket strips sometime.  My first slave was I want to say around age 26.  She wanted to be an alpha slave with other women slaves.  I went looking in Manhattan, which is only around a hundred miles from here, for that kind of scene.  I did it all.. Orgies, and threesomes, and nudist parks.. Anything for a thrill, but it was always about control, about me getting my own way… I would always work the question.. Do you swallow.. Into a date…if the answer was no, there would be no second date.  Some things I have never compromised on.  But to answer your question, there has never been a time I thought about girls, and didn’t want absolute control.

(2) Why do you think those in the lifestyle are quick to judge others?

Now that is an interesting question.  You would think we would be less quick wouldn’t you?  I think I first have to ask, is it true that we are quick to judge each other?  My answer would be, you don’t have to be in any Fetlife group for long to see it, do you?  Throwing a question or strong opinion  in to Fet is a bit like throwing raw meat into a cage of wolves. I think that passion is no different from politics for a reason.  There are and always have been two basic groups of human motivations.. The hunters and the gatherers.  The hunters are, individuals who fiercely seek independence, conquest, recognition, and freedom from any other power.  They lean towards the Dominant side, and prefer politics that don’t interfere in their life, even at the cost of things that may help them. The other group are the gatherers, and they prefer to work together, they believe the collective is stronger, that some sacrifices of personal freedom are necessary to achieve these important objectives.  They lean towards the submissive side, and their politics seeks the greater good for all, believing that it is the group’s right to distribute more evenly the spoils of effort.  Now these two sides are locked in a battle to define what is right, since the dawning of mankind  The hunters will say, this slave is mine, I define what that means.  And the gatherers will say, we need more compassion, more room for people to express their self identity. Then some hunters see the wisdom of this argument and get behind this idea and back it.. But then some gatherers see the unhappiness this creates and side with their favorite hunter..  People begin picking sides, either for their belief or their alliances. I mixing metaphors here, I know, but what I am saying is that we are very passionate people, with strong alliances, that share strong beliefs about how things should work.  Humanity has been fighting to make a perfect world for a very, very long time.  What we should be doing is perfecting ourselves.  We just never seem to realize that utopia is not a place where individuals design the perfect society, but where society is designed to let the individual to perfect themselves. Now can go back to fighting about how to do that…

(3) I assume you keep your lifestyle private, do you have friends who share the same interest ?

The best way to answer your question is to say this.  I am very private in public, and I am very personal in private.   It’s a question of choosing my audience.  I’ve been in very public roles before and I know first hand that the larger the segment of any community you reach, the more guarantee that you will reach the fringe groups.  In any population a very small percentage is nuts and trust me, you really don’t want to have to deal with them. I’ve been there.  Here is the thing: How you say a thing can be as important as what you say. If what you have to say is going to reach people, first you need to know your audience.. Leaders listen and speak last, for all of these reasons.  So in public, I am speaking to an audience I don’t know personally and who doesn’t know me personally.. So I write about the things I think are true and meaningful but in a broader sense.  But in private there is trust and honesty and it becomes personal.  I have many friends in the community and I trust them to have my back as I would have theirs. Most of my friends are in the community.  I have found over time that my obsession with BDSM has driven away all but one good friend who is not in the community.. And that is OK.  You don’t know your real friends until your friendship is tested.  That one nilla friend, is a good and decent person, and a buddy for life.

3b) Why are you not active in the community?

Hmm not sure where that idea came from.  I would say that I am active on many levels. I have my Dominant Support Group in Fet, I sometimes help with local support groups, I’ve done workshops, and I was most recently a judge at the North East Power exchange competition.  That being said, I used to be more active.  I was well know for fire play but I backed off that because of a thing called “the carnival ride”.  When you are known for some talent then you can have five or six scenes lined up each night.  It gets old being the carnival ride.  So I more or less retired from that and withdrew a bit.  I spend more time now with my slave, than being a local public figure.  So many people have stepped up to fill the gaps in workshops and training, I don’t feel like I have anything unique to add.  What’s the point I ask myself.  Maybe I am underselling myself, but then I don’t need to grab all that attention to know who and what I am.. It’s enough that a few people honor me with the title of MasterX.  After all, the only titles of value are those acquired thru recognition by others. One claims that title by exercising that recognition, not asserting it.


(4) Being a Dominant what is it you get out of your relationship ?

Hmmm power!  I swear.. The most beautiful women walk through our local Dungeon naked, gorgeous, and sexy  and ol’ Johnson doesn’t so much as stir..  But, and this is the funny part, some guy in a McDonald’s will say “Yes Sir” and there it is, that tingle.  Now if a really cute girl whispers it, stand back, cause Johnson’s on duty.  There is a this electricity when my slave Izrina is shy, or on her knees.  I can’t explain why i feel it, maybe some of us are just wired this way.  I think so.. I often say this is an orientation, not a lifestyle.  I just feel alive when i have her submission.


(5) Being with your partner I am going to assume you were a couple for sometime, before taking that first step. Who’s idea was it to take that first step ?

Actually no.  We didn’t start out as a couple.  I was a lone wolf prowling the bars.  I love to dominate on a pool table you see.  I am fascinated with the level of control I can exercise over the balls, and when that leads to beating all challengers, well, what’s not to understand about my attraction?  Now Izrina had another name when I met her, and she showed interest in me.. The dark dominating fellow that I was.. I explained to her that I could never be interested in someone like her, which of course I had to explain.  I sent her to watch the movie Secretary, and then to a submissive site, and when she didn’t shy away, I took her to munches, and then dungeons.  I gave her a collar of consideration finally, but there was a but..   A person sometimes becomes something else to be with you.  Maybe your girl pretends to like football.. And you love her because you can share your love of football with her.. Then after you are married she hates football and you can’t understand why you are growing apart.. Well Izrina was a nilla.  I needed to know that she had a slave’s heart.  So I tested, and asked and tested and asked until one day she begged me to stop asking.. Yes!  I have a slave heart.. Yes I want to be your property.. No I am not doing this to be with you, I am doing it for me.  It was after that she got her training collar, and her slave name..


(6) Do you consider yourself to be a Strictly Bedroom Dom, or has it moved to a 24/7 relationship?

Oh God – no bedroom Dom for me.   You know they say that when sex is good it’s 10 percent of the relationship and when its bad its 90?  Well sex will always be a ten percent for a number of reasons.  Not that I am not a horny little fucker, and not that she isn’t, it’s just that I get more from the power dynamic all day long, than I can ever get from sex, all day long. Let me give you an example..  Just walking from the livingroom to the car we can tick of over a half dozen protocols.. 1- I put on her coat and free her hair, she isn’t allowed to 2- I get the door for her  3- She waits in the hallway for me to pass so she can walk behind me and to my right 4&5, we repeat for another door, 6- I open the car door for her 7- I lean into her personal space, to tighten her safety belt… Now while I am walking around the car, as anticipatory service, she will power up and set the GPS..  And that was just three minutes of our day.  It’s like this all day long.  And It makes me smile constantly.. And the same with her.  Sometimes we just grin at each other because we both feel it, the electricity of Domination and submission. Nothing is happening that anyone can see, and yet we both have that tingle.  It’s just fucking awesome when you get the right person!


(7) Do you have any rules or protocols in place. if so was it your idea to implement the rules?

We absolutely have these.  These are what give meaning to our lives, it is what helps us feel the power exchange all the time without even trying.  We two rituals and they are both designed around Izrina realizing her happiness as a slave.  We have two rules and these are about touch.  I strongly believe in the power of touch. Rule one requires her to always be touching me when she is in my presence.  I believe at last count we had 25 protocols. We also have something I call structure.. Not really rules or protocols, it more how I like things around the home.  I have a touch of OCD.  Everything must be in its proper place.  Spoons to the right of the knife, forks to the left, even in drawers.  Stuff like that.  The “structure” of how i want things to be doesn’t neatly fall into the other categories, but it’s important to me, so I have a name for it.  I don’t think Izrina has ever suggested a protocol..  Hmm maybe something that started as anticipatory service became a protocol, but nothing jumps to mind.  I do need to add this… I never want one of these to be in place and me not remember to enforce it.. I can’t imagine something worse for a slave than to get away with breaking a ritual, rule or protocol, and not being called on it.  We try to keep it simple, so I don’t hurt her this way.

(8) Last what advice would you give to couples who are thinking about taking that step into a D’s lifestyle

Do it!  (laughs)  Seriously though. I wish more people could see the box they put their hearts in when they draw boundaries.  In Ds, the boundaries disappear.  Its raw, and you are risking a lot, but you can’t reach these heights if you aren’t willing to take a risk!  And power exchange.. Don’t get me started.  How can two people decide everything together with two votes?  There is no tie breaker in that vote and it is bound to lead to arguments.  You want equality?  Great.. Use power exchange to achieve it within that two votes thing.. One of you is in charge of this, and the other is in charge of that.  Look.. someone has to be in charge or nothing works.  Power exchange is the natural order of things.  If you are seeing this, then do it, figure it out and make it work.  Even if you end up splitting areas of responsibility at least you stepped into a better more sane world.  After this truth dawns on you, everything else is easy.

Xtac and I are somewhat alike , we both run a very strict home with rules and protocols…

Defining Your Submission

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Slave, Submission, sucking cock on February 13, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I did a blog a couple of years ago on the Seven Most Common Types of Submissive’s Each has their own inner feelings about who and what they are. When you break down you’re personality you then have to find a Dominant with the same interest. Just because a Dominant is a Dominant it does not mean he is the Dominant for you.  Then you move into some different areas are you just a submissive in the bedroom ? Are you a submissive when the Dom is ready to play ? Are you a submissive just at home ?

A huge mistake that is made often is when you first meet a Dominant , you are talking you tell him you are one thing , but he states something different. You are not a baby girl you are a slave. Now why does he say this ? He is looking for a slave and not a baby girl. So he will try and twist you’re thoughts and he has a come back every time you state you’re case. After sometime you will agree and give in.

You have spent much time defining who and what you are and this guy has known you for a few hours.

When searching I had a plan , I knew exactly what I was looking for, I knew the personality I was looking for. I was single for about two years and I had dated several but after the first date I would just say hey this is not going to work. You cannot force someone to change and you cannot change someone who has different needs.

You have kept you’re feeling from your friends and family this is something you have thought about for a long time, you did research , you did research on you’re personality, because you wanted to fit in. To find the right fit is to be free, free to be who and what you are not to let someone change you. If you need to be changed by someone then the Dominant is really looking for something else. If you change to please someone you will never be happy.

Breaking down the Dominants , there are less Dominant personality’s than submissive or slave personality’s

The Sadist , there are very few sadist who are actually Dominant , sadist gets off on inflicting pain. Once he has finished a scene he is pretty much done so do not expect any type of aftercare.

The daddy Dominant looking for his little girl , Daddy Doms are more laid back, not really into a lot of rules or structure and more Dominant in the bedroom. This is not true to all daddy Doms I have met a few who are very strict. Daddy Doms proved more of a safe zone feeling usually more affectionate .

The bedroom Dominant is someone who is only Dominant while in play this also goes along side of the Top. Once he walks outside of the bedroom he is done so if you expect any type of aftercare then you should speak up before play…

Then the get it done Dominant , no rules , no structure just get it done. This seems to fit many types of those who are submissive or Dominant. Here is something I need you to do just get it done. I know a couple who are local who fit this description and it has worked for 8 years.

The over controlling Dominant , this is the little insecure guy. He has to know where you are at all times . He wants to know why it took you 23 minutes to get home from work instead of 20 minutes and he will ream you’re ass over 3 minutes . He wants all of you’re passwords and in most cases if you are dumb enough he will take you’re banking information.

The Master and there are many other types of Dominants but you can google that . There are a few different types of Masters the main one is the title Master, he believes this is a entitlement for what ever reason he has earned this status. The title master demands respect , he demands you call him master not sir but master, remember this is an entitlement. His logic of thinking is to take and take and give nothing in return , giving you rules that are not checked and making changes to those rules when he finds it necessary. The entitlement master continues looking for ways to punish you mainly he gets off on abuse but to him it is legal abuse.

Looking at profiles on Fetlife and I see Master ,daddy , Dominant , I am asking myself how in the fuck does that even work ?   I am Master , Daddy , Dominant and owner of Baby Girl so and so.

I am not about titles I am however about respect but respect I have earned. If you demand respect it is not true respect it is fake and nothing more. You cannot demand submission but you can gain submission through intimidation again this is fake because submission is out of fear and nothing more.

To earned submission or respect you have to earn trust , trust is a very hard word because it is the easiest to lose , yup one slip up and the relationship has crashed. This is the point of no return and the Dominant goes into the begging part , stating he can fix it he will never do it again. The problem is the submissive has already seen that side , those thoughts are implanted deep with her mind.

Maintaining trust maintaining you’re word , staying true to you’re word, staying honest that is huge.

It is an honor for the submissive or slave to let those words pass from her mouth. Yes Master, how may I help you Master?

We as Masters have a huge daily task keeping everything in check , setting time aside to talk , just talk or talk about concerns. Communication is more than 95% of any relationship being able to speak freely. If the submissive or slave really trust you they will come to you about anything knowing you are there to listen and help.

Although we are in charge, although we make all of the decisions there is a fine line we as Masters have to walk. I know and you should as well what it would take for the kingdom to come crumbling down. This is why I preach being consistent  on a daily basis is so important. You cannot be a Dominant 9 to 5 you’re submissive has the right to have access 24/7 remember you signed up for that.

Never let anyone define who and what you are , never let anyone try to change you. If the Dominant tries to change you then you are not the right one for him.

You the submissive it is up to you to define who you are and what you’re needs are to a new Dominant. You do not have to use the word Sir until he as earned the respect you need to have earned. Never take demands from a new Dominant if you have not agreed to enter a relationship.

You spend maybe 25 minutes talking and he blurts out I believe you are a slave and not a Baby Girl , or a Brat what ever. You say hey wait a fucking minute you don’t even know me , how would you know.

Only in the lifestyle does the conversation start out , do you swallow ? Do you like anal sex? Are you Bi? The biggest are you into humiliation ? That question is a true sign of abuse.

Ive been in the lifestyle for 25 years , okay great can I talk to some of you’re friends ? Can I speak with some of the groups you belong to ? This is not only important it is you’re right.

Once you define who and what you are stick with it , let yourself evolve over the years..

When you meet a new Dominant keep you’re mouth closed and legs closed for 30 days.

Also check out my slaves Blog …..

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

Vile

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/