Archive for the 50 Shades Of Grey Category

Lets Talk About BDSM

Posted in 50 Shades Of Grey, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, control, Dominants, Master, Rules, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The term BDSM dates back to 1969; however, the origin of the term BDSM is unclear and is believed to have been formed either from joining the term B&D (bondage and discipline) with S&M (sadomasochism or sadism and
masochism)

You know everyday a young slave or submissive opens that door, looking and searching for something but she is not sure what it is.

The truth is they will do very little research and will grow to depend on one voice and one voice only.
That voice will do one or two things. One it will give her something great she has never imagined or two it will destroy her life for a long time or maybe permanently. Who care right ? Who really gives a fuck what happens to someone else? After all their life does not effect us in anyway.

We all write about fun and games, we all right about spreading for our owner, sucking cock or maybe a little anal training, or how much you love humiliating someone. The list of topics just goes on and on.

While I may not be politically correct in my way of thinking or speaking, that does give me a great advantage because I can be me, I can be who I am without faking anything.

I write about my life , present , past and sometimes the future. I write about how I live my life in a 27/7 M’s relationship. I write about how important communication is, how structure is important and how to put much of it into play.

One thing you rarely hear me talk about however is my sex life. I do not discuss that because of the respect I have for Arianna. I do that because of the love I have for Arianna. I do that because of the security for Arianna.

I do talk about kink mostly past relationships and maybe sometimes I cross lines but again I am me. I am not here to please someone , or make someone think something that is not true.

What I write is about me , and if you were to meet me in person I would be the same.

We are not all going to agree on everything but we should give others respect no matter what I believe or what someone else believes.

I recently came across Master Michael’s blog

http://ourmasterslavejourney.info/

While we do not agree on certain topics he does have an awesome blog and you can see the love he has for his.
I love to see blogs that has so much empowerment and so much information soothers can read and learn and grow.

His blog is one of the few I have come across that actually speaks about relationships and keeping it going , and even the struggles.
Cudos.

Don’t get me wrong kink is good , sex is good , and there is nothing better in my world than a slow blow job.

I consider myself very lucky today one I have Arianna and the second I am a live and well and disease free , Wow am I lucky !!!!!!!

To date I cannot tell you how many women I have been with , The truth is I lost count some 15 or 20 years ago.
25 different states , Thailand , Korea , The Philippines , Japan, Vietnam , Germany yea Gretchen. England , the Dominican republic and probably a few I do not remember. Those were the days when I was trying to smoke all the weed up in the world.
While stationed in Korea there were two things to do for an American in the US Army. Drink and fuck that was it. Most of the time I did not even know there name nor did I want to.

Believe me it is nothing to be proud of , and for the most I feel pretty bad, and this brings up the whole purpose of my blog , well some of the main factors.

The good news is we all grow up or we are suppose to , that is the plan our parents have for us when we come sliding down the chute, the cold air hits us and some stranger smacks our ass.

Many do not grow up and they pay the consequences in the end. Our life is based on two things , Choices and Consequences.

I enjoy learning about others , their life , watching them grow , it is unfortunate we have tragedies sometimes and we lose good people.

We all think different , we also want different things out of life. We want different things when it comes to a partner , and we have different needs.
So we find the one who fills all of those voids, we find the one who has the level of submission we are seeking. We find the one who wants to adapt to our way and only our way.
If you pick the wrong partner the adaption process will never happen and you will part hating each other , not to mention the time you have wasted, and you will never get back.

You have to sit down and put a plan together on paper, and believe me you will make a thousand changes, but in the end you need to stick to your plan and stand firm, that is for the Dominant , the slaves and those who are submissive, because if you do not have a plan you will get screwed , you will get fucked and it will be no ones fault except yours.

Then you want to come crying and telling your story about how you were abused or mistreated, you were beaten, the relationship was all wrong, but you already knew that going into it.
You saw all the warning signs , but you ignored them and you took your plan and you wadded it up and threw it in the trash , and you allowed yourself to be treated like a bitch instead of a partner.
Once you agreed to enter the relationship you gave him permission to do what ever he wanted to.

I am not a very sympathetic man because most of our problems are self inflicting. Most of our problems can be solved before they even become problems.
The problem is most want an easy way out and there is not one, so we tend to sweep things under the carpet hoping it will not resurface.
It does come back into play and by that time is has grown way out of control.

One problem I have noticed is the Novice Dominants who have sprouted since the 50 shades of Grey , but it did start mostly with the internet boom.
At times I do receive emails from new Dominants. Hey Vile I am new to the lifestyle and I have some questions I would like to ask you would that be okay ?
Sure I would be more than happy to answer any question you may have.
That is the end of the conversation, I never hear back, and I know that when I answer the email.
So either he is no longer interested or he has read the 50 shades of grey and he now knows everything.

What you Doms or Daddy’s new Masters what ever you call yourself don’t understand is you can have anything you want out of a partner.
You can have the world at your feet and a partner who will serve you without question. A partner who will stand by you without question.

All you have to do is stop the games you play , it is simple math and I am talking 1+1 math, no algebra.
You have to be yourself and you have to be honest. You have to be who and what you are.
Your Consistency will grow her submission, you caring will grow her submission. You communication will grow her submission.

People do not believe me when I tell them Arianna and I have never had an argument, but that is the truth and it is not because she is not allowed to speak up because she is. She is allowed to voice her opinion , I want that out of her, but it is our communication that prevents the arguments.
We talk and we talk about anything and everything , Arianna knows she can come to me and speak her mind without fear.

We all love the kink, we all love sex , and we all love getting what we want and when we want, but with those thoughts you have to have certain principles in place, logic if you will , because you should want to travel a road that has no abuse.

When meeting a new Dominant the second you have second thoughts or the feeling something may not be right , you should then excuse yourself and go home. Your first thoughts are 90% right most of the time…..

Many of you confuse the difference between a submissive and slave and many even the Baby Girl role in the lifestyle.

Who carry titles but most act as if they are slaves , many having the fear of asking questions or even saying no.
If you are not capable of those two things you are in the wrong relationship because it should not be based on fear..
Fear is a terrible mind fuck , and it will drive you crazy…

Being mind fucked during play is much different than being mind fucked on a daily basis and you not knowing it.

Those of you trying to make a fresh start should do research months of research. You need to talk to others , and I mean others who are in stable relationships.
I am not talking about those who have online Dominants or those in LDR , they cannot help you in anyway.

There are tons of sites out there to help guide you and give you answers.
One I like is Best Slave Training… http://bestslavetraining.com/

There is a ton of useful information…

In the end your safety is the most important , your care is most important. More important your mind and mental state is important..

symbol

Vile

http://ourmasterslavejourney.info/

I want Your Submission

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, 50 Shades Of Grey, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, controlling, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, fucking, Married Dominant, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocol, Protocols, pussy, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on October 31, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Taking control over someones life is a huge responsibility. Turning your life over to someone takes a lot of trust.

Taking over someones life requires the Dominant to devote a great deal of time. Turning your life over to someone requires you to be open and truthful and having the ability to be able to communicate.

Taking control over someones life requires the Dominant to be truthful, and honesty and having the ability to communicate. Turning yourself over to someone requires you to give yourself 100%, 100% of the time.

The Dominant runs the show. The way the relationship turns out is soly on the Dominants shoulders.
The only exception would be if the Slave or submissive does not have the heart, or the will to enter such a relationship.

The Dominant sets the pace, the Dominant sets the standards, the Dominant sets the protocols , and The Dominant sets the rules.

Before entering such a relationship the Slave or Submissive has to be very clear about their needs. They need to be very clear as to what it would take for them to be able to function in such a relationship. What do you need in a D’s Or M’s relationship? What are your goals within a relationship? What do you expect out of your Dominant in a relationship?

Just as I find the 128 rules to be a fucking joke, I find Anal training by web cam to be a fucking joke, or meeting with no panties.
The above is something a 20 year old Dominant would expect, because it is then about being controlling and not in control.

Your fucking your ass on a web cam so some dude can jack off, and once you turn your computer off, you will crawl up in your bed alone and cry yourself to sleep.

The above is in no way, a way to gain someone submission. The above is no way to prove you are the Master Of disaster , man slayer woman player. Starting out training someone to suck your cock is not training.

The Dominant says well I am poly. The submissive thinks for a minute and finely says well you know I prefer a one on on, she never says she is not, I prefer.
What you have done then is opened a door you the submissive cannot close. If your not poly say it. If the Dominant gets up and walks out so fucking what.

Your having a problem finding the right Dominant or Master, I can honestly tell you that is your fault and no one Else’s , yes you the Slave or Submissive are the one to blame.

How can that be Vile ? How can it be my fault ? I am insulted by your remarks.

I am going to give you two main reasons. One your are not completely honest with yourself and who you are. Two you are not honest with the Dominant when you first meet him.

If you feel completely comfortable when you first meet then stay and see where it goes. If your first meeting is about fucking or sucking cock, get up and leave.
If you feel intimidated when you first meet get up and leave, because Domination through intimidation is no way to start a successful relationship.

These are my limits, um I do not do anal, and I am not into pain. Your limits are duly noted, and I will respect your limits.
If the limits are pushed and you are questioned, again tell the Dominant thank you and get up and walk the fuck out.

Vile that would be me, I never question limits, I never ask why? I never say well lets try. I never say well we can do someone anal training. I never say well while your at home why don’t you try.

I have a very good reason as to why I never bring it up again and it is so fucking simple you can be smarter than a 5th grader.

Because if you the Dominant are who you say you are, you do what you say your going to do, you are completely honest, and you remain consistent.
Now those are just a few of the keys, those are the keys that will open the door to submission, and as your relationship grows, and you continue your communication. Here it comes,,,,, wait for it, it is coming, wait for it.

Bam her submission will grow deeper, she will trust more, she will want to follow. In the end she will want to give you everything you need.
The minute you start to question someones limits, that is the time the trust issues come into play, and your relationship may or may not survive, if it does you are still not getting 100% and you never will, because you went back on your word, and that means you lied.

If you the Dominant are who you say you are. If you the Dominant does not have any anger issues. If you the Dominant are truthful and honest, and you do what you say your going to do, there is no end to the submission, there are no limits, well within reason.

I have something I live by. I never ask someone to do something I have not already done or I would not do. That includes needle play which I will admit I am very good at.
Needle play however is a very hard limit for Arianna and I fully respect that. Even if she came to me and wanted to try I would probably not because I know her fear of needles.

Your submission can and will grow under the right hands , but it depends on many factors, it also depends on what you want out of your relationship.

The start is the getting to know each other prior to any type of play, and you need to make it a point up front that is your intentions, getting to know each other.

In the past I have ragged on married men who cheat, I have also explained how they use you as an escape , an escape into a fantasy world they cannot have at home.
The things they are looking for is things their wives will not do, or they are to ashamed to bring the subject up.

Firs thing is he will not leave his wife, this is more true if he has kids. He is not going to lose his house and everything else, including paying child support.
What he has at home is security, he has someone who makes sure all the bills are paid, someone to cook and clean house, do laundry, and fuck from time to time.
You are there to fill the gap, you are there for one thing and one thing only, the Kink.

Entering a relationship any relationship for that matter you want to be number one, not two or three, number one.

Seeing a weekend warrior you are not getting anything out of the lifestyle. At the end of the day after a couple of hours of play you get in your car and drive home alone, you also wake up alone, and you go to bed alone.

You are now a piece of the pie, you are not the whole pie, just a slice, and you will continue being a slice until you figure out you have been played.

Some will play the fear game with you, the intimidation game and you fall for it. That is no way to start out a relationship. If you cannot communicate you have nothing.

You who are single it is not hard to find a partner, and it is easier to find the right partner, but you have to play the game of patience. Patience is the key and if you follow your own rules, your own guidelines , your own instinct it will happen. If at anytime you feel something is not right when you meet someone, excuse yourself and leave, you have lost nothing but an hour or so, which could of turned into months of drama and heartache.

I do not want to demand submission , I do not want to tell you to call me Sir Or Master , I want to earn it. When you kneel in front of me I want it to be because it is a need for you not just to please. I want you to crawl to me because you have the need.

Since the 50 shades epidemic , Doms have sprouted up like weeds , I call these Doms Kia Reo’s.
They have cheap payments, high maintenance , and very undependable.

I would hope you would want more out of a relationship , I would hope you think your better than that.

BDSM is not about sex , BDSM is not about learning how to suck cock, or train your ass.

BDSM is about respect, structure , communication , and finding your submission. Yea the kink is nice but you should take small steps.
Meeting someone in a motel once or twice a month is just kink and your being used. I know some are fine with this type of arrangement and if that is your game and your not looking for anything more , then more power to you.

I want everything you said you would not do when I first met you, no pressure no questions. I want to get you to that point, I want you to have the need to please.
This is done by being who you said you were, and doing what you promised. This is done by providing the structure , the stability , and the security you promised.

It is not a game , it is about being yourself.

mind

vile

Before Your Training……

Posted in 50 Shades Of Grey, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training seems to be an area many of you who are submissive have been mislead on. It seems many of you have been giving incorrect information, or your just being used.

Remember my blog is my own opinion , but you also have to remember I am giving you a males point of view and nothing more.

Courtship , courtships are so nice, I remember dating back in school, and the courtship set the pace of what was to come.

Although once I hit the age of 14 I went through some huge changes. It was as though I woke one morning a different person, something animalistic inside me came to life.

Courtship before BDSM the getting to know each other phase, the giggling and laughing. The different foods we like, how we like our steaks cooked. The music we like, places we have traveled and so on.

Something I did prior to meeting Arianna, if I was considering a relationship. I would require the slave to write a journal for 30 days.

You cannot possibly enter a D’s Or M’s relationship not knowing each other. You and I know this can not be done in a week or even two weeks.

Now if your just looking for the kink side of things, and your not interested in the structure, protocol’s and everything else that goes along with a D’s relationship , then the above would not include you.

It takes roughly a month for the Dominant to know you well enough , before he can start implementing rules and Protocols. The Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Something else you have to consider, every Dominant is different, every Dominant has different expectations, goals, and needs.

A journal is an inside peak into your life, it tells who you are, what your thoughts are, your needs, and what you need out of a relationship.

I would take the journal and spend about a week reading it so I could come to understand the slave. I wanted to know what made the slave tick. I wanted to know what the slaves needs were. Where she was now and where she wanted to be in the future.

Putting a plan together, a training plan that would benefit the slave.

As a Dominant or Master our only concern is our property is being taking care of, mentally and physically, nothing else matters because we are now going to put our property before anything else in our life. We have made a clear commitment and a promise we would be there for them no matter what….

You should be number one at all times, that is what you expect and you should not settle for anything less..

Compatibility is the first both will need to find out, if you agree to enter a relationship and you really know nothing about each other the relationship will be short lived..

I do agree the training should start once you enter the relationship but there has to be a getting to know each other phase, if it is just sexual then that is all your going to have.

Let the Dominant explain upfront what your training is going to consist of, what your going to get out of your training.
If those questions cannot be answered then you are with a 50 Shades of Grey Dominant, and that is one thing the movie left out was the training, why the training and how to maintain a D’s Or M’s relationship.

50 shades of grey is just a more intense version of the movie , 9 1/2 weeks and nothing more

If your Dom is not taking interest in your needs, or lets say your blog, or your not recognized on social sites as being their partner, or not interested in your hobbies, then you know he does not have your best interest in mind, and your probably really nothing to him.

The journal opens the door to your world. It shows the real you, it shows your inner feelings that you may not otherwise be willing to share.
Sometimes putting it on paper is much easier that trying to talk and share your feelings.

You know even today Arianna will email me if something is on her mind, because it is easier for her to explain something in that form, and I understand.

If your journal is your blog, make sure your Dominant reads it, ask him questions about your thoughts, sit down together and go over everything.
He may be able to give you a much clearer picture.

Journal

Both of you need a clear plan prior to entering the relationship. ..

Vile