Your heart has to be in the right place, you have to have the need to serve, the need to give up total control. You have to be willing to go through what I call a reconditioning phase or kinda like installing a new windows in your computer.
In my eyes training is never over. I do have rules but probably way less than what most Doms put in place. My rules are meant to structure a slave.
The reconditioning can take a month three months or even longer this is what I spoke about yesterday. Limiting the area in the home where the slave is allowed. The food they eat, the way they dress, walk and talk, even to the point of a complete name change. Meaning what people in the lifestyle would call your slave. That is something I am still working on as well, although I gave my slave a name I have not really enforced it as of yet.
To keep the slave in that submissive mode, speaking in thirds is a good idea, this is not an easy task and can take sometime to get accustomed to. Example , THIS GIRL , THIS SLAVE , THIS BITCH . The key to this again is staying consistent.
I myself during this time leave all Bondage play out of the picture, this is our time of getting to know each other. This is the time I want to be observed, you learn much more from watching. Arianna had asked me if training was hard, and I explained that 90% of the training was just watching me and taking it in.
Every Master trains different, so to say that Master J is wrong or Master B is wrong is not really politically correct. There are books out there but these are just opinions, some of the books are good while others are not so good. So really no one can say well Master J does not know what he is doing. I may not agree with everything Master J is doing but that is his relationship.
You want the Slave to be accountable for their time , their actions. I started early with Arianna, she makes a list, well this am she did not, time kinda got lost before she left for work. Every morning before work she has a note book she writes time and mileage once at her destination the same , this is part of the conditioning. You want the Slave to be able to account for every minute of their time when you are not home.
Keeping your Slave nude while at home, no clothes allowed, well unless it turns cold. The Master Dressed the Slave Nude at all time even while eating dinner. You sit at the table and have your Slave sit on the floor next to you. One thing I do is my Slave is not allowed to start eating until I have taking the first bite.
You cannot surrender until you give up full control. You the Slave should repeat this in your head as often as you can. Being in the right hands, is very important, long term. If you know you are about to enter a short relationship keep a wall up, you should not give yourself totally and I will explain.
At a local Mast Meeting MASTER AND SLAVES TOGETHER the question came up about a slave moving out , packing up and leaving, starting over. I myself find this to be a difficult task if you have been in a long term relationship. You have gone from being fully dependent to being in full control. This would be kinda like a culture shock, and the effects mentally could be harming.
When you the Slave notices a problem it is very important to have open communication, you need to be able to speak to your Owner/Master about anything. You need to be able to communicate your concerns. You need to inform your Master of your thoughts. Every day I make it a point to ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is the time she can speak freely , she knows she can speak to me about anything.
You the Dominant while in the training phase should stay in control at all times. Speak in the same tone of voice, do not lose your temper when something goes wrong. You will get your point across much better by sitting your Slave down and speaking in a normal tone of voice. Remember the Slave at this point is observing you, the Slave is taking in everything, the way you speak public and private. The way your carry yourself public and private, and how you handle situations when a mistake is made. Remember you are still in the training mode the Slave can walk away at anytime.
Slaves are going to make mistakes, the first six months is almost like walking on egg shells. You as the Dominant should remain call and in control at all times. There is no reason to argue or raise your voice.
The training has to be consistent on a daily basis. Before you can begin training though you have to know who and what your dealing with. If you had a slave in a prior relationship, the same training may not work, or be beneficial to your Slave.
At this point in the relationship a Collar should not even be mentioned. One may be purchased and placed somewhere as a reminder, but during training offering a Collar is way to soon. Six months to a year would be okay. Would you marry someone the first night you met them, the first week, month I would think not. The Collar is a commitment , and it should be treated as such.
Your training plan should consist of daily task, communication. Time should be set aside on a daily basis to talk, and talk about anything and everything. You as the Dominant should want to know what is going through the slaves mind. You may need to change up somethings , you do not want the slave to become overwhelmed. If your Slave has questions or concerns she should be able to speak openly. If you the Dominant does not allow this, or you judge her this will make her close up and when something is truly bothering her she will be afraid to come to you.
Speaking how do you want your slave to speak, be it public or private. How do you want your Slave to dress, public, again while at home the Slave should be nude weather permitting. As I stated before you want to limit the space where the slave is permitted, it was almost a year before Arianna was allowed on the furniture.
I am very big on protocols, most today in the lifestyle are not. I set protocols public and private. Protocols build structure.
It is also very important to let the Slave continue to see family. I have known Doms in the past who have cut off everything, family and friends. Lets face it we all need a break. A Slave needs their time to unwind , let their mind breath a little, relax. I also believe it is very important to take the Slave to local functions, such as Munch’s. This gives the Slave an opportunity to meat others in the lifestyle.
After about ninety days or so you will start to see changes in your Slave. The changes you like you keep, the changes you do not like you alter.
Remember this is your training program. Always have a plan set in place, and stick to that plan. You do not have to give any details about your training plans, but keep the communication open.
Use your Slave often , yes I am speaking about sex. I think you should for sometime just use for your pleasure. it does give a slave a very humble feeling. With me it was and is a control thing. Only I have the say when she can cum or play.
As for the Dominant be careful what you ask for, especially if you are not that experienced , because how you train is going to be what you have for a very long time.
Once everything has been implemented things will just flow, all that is left is the Dominant staying consistent , keeping his word. AN M’s relationship can be very rewarding and long lasting.
I know I have been pretty vague here , but I just wanted to touch on somethings.
Every Slave is Different, every Slave has different needs, and kinks. If you are not into her kinks, you will either have to just say well we are not a fit, or you do just to please. Every Slave has goals we are suppose to support them, and help grow. We are suppose to guide, give advice and tackle any obstacle that is put in front of us. We are suppose to be there through not only the good but the bad.
We do have a Creed we are suppose to live by.