Archive for the Acceptance Category

It’s Not About The Pussy

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bestslavetraining.com, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, fetlife, Fetlife Groups, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, Master and slave relationship, On your knees on your back, owning a slave, primal, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock, Training Arianna, Uncategorized on November 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

In my home I am the President , Governor , Mayor , Judge and Jury. I am about the control. In my relationship I do not want a quarter of the pie, I don’t want half or even three quarters, I want the pie and the ice cream , because if you are getting less that the whole pie you are not getting the full experience.

I want to stand alone , I want to be different, I wanted to be someone my slave had never experienced.

Sitting back and looking at the progress, changing someone for the better, changing someones thought process, changing habits, training. Training someone to fit your needs. Training one to drop to their knees on command, or to spread on command, with either a voice command or a simple hand gesture.  It is about the control, the ability to control ones actions and thoughts, now that is deep.

Now here is the thing, all of the above comes with a huge price tag, the above comes with huge responsibility , and then you have the saying be careful what you ask for, because once you start to unlock all of those door as you open each door the price tag becomes larger.

You get the clingy part, you get the needy , and in most cases you get the bad word codependent part , not always but this is true in most cases.

Submission not only runs on different levels, but it runs deep, and each one is different , each has different needs , but in the end the outcome is the same . You have a submissive who craves to be trained, loved and cared for.

So if your in it just for the pussy , or you want your dick sucked  just ask. If your not in it for the long haul why would you want to try and put all the steps above into place when you have zero intentions of following through? In the end that is way to much work and time to invest just to get some head.

Then you have the other Dominant , the fuck with your head, trying to get over on you, bull shitting his way through a relationship that is never going to happen. You end up sitting all alone waiting on a text or an email, crying wondering what you did wrong…

Then you have the poor me Dominant, the wish I was a better Dom. The Dominant who promises to fix what ever is wrong but really has no intentions of doing anything. The Dominant who cannot keep his temper under control. The Dominant who uses fear and humiliation to keep you in check…. The Dominant who tell you , you are stupid , your nothing without him…

There are two sides to every story, you have to pick the book you want to read. Ive said it many times , life is based on two actions and two actions only, those would be choices and consequences.

The above goes for male and female, Dominant, Master , Domme , Submissive Slave , Baby Girl , Primal , what ever you label yourself. I am not sure about everyone else but my time is very valuable.

I was going through some groups in fetlife , where subs were looking for Dominants, and most of what I read from other Doms was , Man I wish you were closer. In my eye Distance has nothing to do with anything, if your willing to invest the time needed to build a relationship, then distance is not even an issue…. There are however circumstances which would not allow one to relocate, that being a career one makes more money than he other , but if two want a relationship bad enough and you feel you have enough in common someone is going to make that move…

If your training consist of sucking cock or being on your back, getting punished all the time just for the fuck of it, then I would sit back and rethink things out.

I always give new Dominant who are interested in the lifestyle a place to go for good information .. There is a ton of good information here more than you can get from any book on the market..

http://bestslavetraining.com/

Vile

 

 

 

 

To All The Vanilla People

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, slave, Submission, submissive, Vanilla, Vanilla Relationships with tags , , , , , , on October 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets forget about BDSM for a minute and talk about some core issues. I want to touch on Values and respect for a short time here.

I am not better than anyone else , as a matter of fact I know there are others who are more knowledgeable than I am when it comes to the lifestyle. I also know we are all different we all have different needs as well.

There are two reasons a relationship fails, one is communication and the other is infidelity. If you have a break down in communication the second is sure to take place, looking for something better that is really not there. The grass is never greener on the other side. If you make it to a marriage counselor the odds are your already at the end of your rope.

I find it to be sickening for someone to open up the private part of one life to complete stranger. The advice you are getting is just someones opinion, and don’t forget to write the check.  Pawning your problems off on someone else in hopes they can fix the mess both of you have generated. I get it though it is much easier to pay someone 200 dollars an hour to fix your problems, because one or the other is out fucking the world. One is breaking the family apart, one is breaking what two worked so hard to build.

There are circumstances where two get married knowing it was the wrong move , there are those mistakes, I know Ive done it. I was trying to fix something I thought was wrong and in the end it was a disaster. Nine years of agony it was the most fucked up move I had ever made and 17 years later I am still paying every week. What I can say is no matter how fucked up things got I remained loyal, because I took the vows very serious, I made the mistake so I had to eat dirt.

I promise to love, cherish and obey” and “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.  What do these words mean to you, did you really mean it when you both stepped up to the plate, some spent thousands for a day of happiness a few minutes in the lime light, that one last moment of glory.

It is however much easier to just throw the towel in and say fuck it I am done , I give up go fuck yourself , I hope you have a better life without me.

Today we have the internet , we have the mobile dating apps, and Ashley Madison if you dare. It is so easy to find that piece of ass today, you think it is so easy to fix your problems by stepping out. The truth is your only thinking about yourself , your thinking of the choices but not the consequences..

The blame is just not on men the blame is on women as well. Most of the time you both end up fucking or sucking cock in a car then you go home and cook your kids supper or maybe go to a PTA meeting, a family outing.  The problem is you always get caught does not matter how sneaky you are you always get caught.

Okay well lets talk about it, I do not want to talk about it , this means it has been over, many times one will wait for the other to make the move so they do not have to take the blame.

It all boils down to a couple of things, Truth, honesty, communication , and last Morals. If you lack one or any of these please pick up your phone and call your parents and thank them for fucking up your life, they deserve a pat on the back.

Where am I going with this ? What is the point I am trying to get across ? My blog is BDSM based , I will have to admit I have calmed in my older years , but as far as me in general I have not changed when it comes to my way of thinking.

I shared before I came from a very broken home and when I left at the age of 17 I knew who I was not going to be, I had to set my own example , I had to define who and what I was.

You have to communicate, you have to set time aside to just talk, you have to learn to talk to each other and not at each other. You have to learn how to express yourself , your feelings and your needs.

If your going to argue you need to learn how to argue, and this can be down through self training. First if your angry you think before you speak, you think about how what your going to say would sound, many times you can reword things. Thinking and pausing before can save a lot of grief. Being honest with yourself and your partner. There is a need to spend a whole day with each other on your days off. You have to set time aside if you have kids.

The problem with arguing is most do not argue it is an all our war of words unless it gets physical , words are thrown at each other and the hurt takes place.

Just following a few simple steps can repair a relationship if both are willing to work through it , but if one is not game just leave pack your shit and get out. Why would you want to put yourself through such a mess?

Most say well it is for our children , they need both parents, while this may be true, it is not fair to drag them through your mess and hear your screaming and calling each other names, this does more damage than if one just left.

My one question is why would you want to put yourself through so much bullshit ? Why Torment yourself causing all that stress ? Why drag yourself and kids if you have them through all of your drama?

The truth is , it is much easier to just throw in the fucking towel and say fuck it. It is much easier to just walk away and just drop what ever you broke in the first place.

Sometime ago I was seeing a few older married women, there was no sex including Oral, it was Bondage and humiliation. These were women with degrees and had been married for more than twenty years.  These were also women who had not been able to communicate with the Husbands, and when they did they were ridiculed , told they were sick, one even divorced his wife because of her sick urges. The male wants his needs met, dinner, clothes, bills, shopping , sex on their terms. I cannot imagine living 20 years or longer so unhappy…

So the question is were you ever really in love? The most important question is, What Do You Want To Do With Your One Life ?

 

slave2

 

 

 

 

Are You Consenting Or Are You Just Agreeing ?

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, communication, Consensual, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The words Consent and non-consent has been coming up a lot in the past month or so. Our lifestyle is probably the only Lifestyle where we need to talk about Consent, the do’s and the Dont’s . What can be done what cannot be done and what we are open to, and what is off limits.

When we are talking to someone be it a Dominant or a submissive , one of the topics that seem to come up early on is what are your limits? The limits question was something I stayed away from until I knew we could make it as friends. Because if we had nothing outside of the lifestyle in common why would I want to enter a relationship if the only thing we had was sex. Kink and sex only last so long, and all your doing at that time is filling a missing void.

So the common off limits are, no blood , no children, no scat maybe no golden showers , the list can go on and on. The thing is what ever limit you have you need to stand by it.

Many times when meeting someone we tend to get caught up in the moment , this is the one, he or she has to be the one, they know what they are talking about. That is not always the case. More often you are being told what you want to hear, your being told something that is so far from the truth but you buy into the words and not the knowledge. Once you figure  things out it is to late because your already caught up in the relationship. Once you agree to something it is almost impossible to retract what you said or what you agreed to..

I am not into Humiliation, and the Dom will say we you don’t really know because you have not been trained.  Or I do not do anal sex, well no one has done it right I can make it feel good. Everything is about consent it is about coming to an agreement and hoping to have the chance to enter a long lasting relationship.

If your not into pain , or you don’t like being face fucked speak up, because if you do not , you are just agreeing and your not consenting. This falls under how much freedom your willing to give up, the rules your going to follow. Are you Monogamous ? Are you Poly ? These are all consensual questions.

Poly is a huge thing if you are looking for a one on one relationship, many times these types of relationships you are kept apart and never see each other. I had thought about poly at one time, but reality hit me, why not just find one who fulfills are of my needs rolled up into one. I am not saying Poly is bad its just not for everyone, so if you agree to a poly relationship and your not poly you are just agreeing and not consenting if that makes any sense..

Arianna and I had talked about having a closed Triad with another female, and being Bi was not a criteria. Bringing someone into our home, and when I explained to others it was not for me but would be a sister for Arianna some thought I was crazy, but it was not because I needed more flavor that is far from the case I get anything I want when I want and how I want it without question.

We communicated about the process and what would have to take place, it was 100% consensual. As far as a 3rd it did not work out but it is what it is no biggy..

The Bottom line is if you agreed to something but your not all in 100% then that is on you. Theoretically if I just wanted to bring someone in, I have that right because our relationship is consensual , non-consent  but at the same time I have to worry about Arianna and what the effects would be.

Believe me there is someone for everyone in our world , there is someone who will fit your needs. If you are agreeing in fear of not having a relationship your doomed from the start, it will never last, if you agree just because your in fear of the relationship not working your training will mean nothing just as earning your collar.

As I said in my last post , what do you want to do with your one life ? How much of your time do you want to waste on something that is not going to work? How much pain do you want to endure if your not a Masochist ?

It is not your Dom or your Master who will have to adapt it is you, so there should be a lot of thinking, we all make choices we just have to see if the consequences out weigh the choices.

viledesire62@aol.com

50 shades

 

Vile

 

 

 

Training Is On Going

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You read you hear the word Training on a regular basis. You hear how some have been trained , you hear about those who want to be trained and why they want to be trained.

I have found over the years even though I had a mentor , I had some training I had to go through , more of a self training , things I knew I had to make improvements and different areas ..

At one time I had a very bad temper , it took me years to get it under control, it took me years to learn how to channel anger into positive thoughts. This was a must after all if I could not control myself how was I going to control someone else?

The first thing a Dominant will tell you is he is in full control, then comes the screaming and yelling calling you a stupid bitch, or at times even getting physical.

At times I have to make changes to Arianna’s daily activities , maybe adjust a rule a protocol , I change something up. I may see an area that needs improvement. I make the change many times without even saying anything, or her even knowing, that is how well I know her.

Just as a submissive’s or Slaves training is ongoing our role as a Dominant or Master is ongoing as well. I know on a daily basis there is something I learn, I want to gain more knowledge be it about life in general or about the lifestyle.

There are three major downfalls when it comes to any relationship, the first being communicating, second Trust and third anger issues, and for anyone to Master all three is nearly impossible.

Past relationships can cause your current relationship to crash and burn, if you bring either of these three with you. Being able to freely communicate is so important, the Dominant must allow theirs to openly communicate about anything without fear of retribution, if you cannot then maybe you need to rethink your current relationship.

There are those who crash and burn their relationship on purpose, I have a friend who has told me several she will purposely sabotage the relationship, just because things are going to good… I suppose this stems from past relationships that included abuse.

If I cannot control myself , if I cannot control my emotions , if I cannot control my temper , then how can I control someone else ? If I cannot control my own life, if I cannot make the correct decisions , if I cannot show respect , if I cannot be truthful , if I cannot be honest ? Then how can I expect someone to submit to me ?

The tables turn when it comes to the submissive or slave, you have to be upfront, you have to be able to communicate, you have to be honest , truthful, but most of all you have to want.

I would imagine or I know being Dominant or Submissive without knowing what or who we are can be pretty confusing. I knew early on I was different but until my early 20’s I never gave it much thought. I assumed every woman wanted to be tied up, spanked and fucked in all holes without asking. I saw women as an object to be used just for pleasure, and in some cases even a hobby.

Once you start being able to figure everything out most things begin to fall into place, then meeting people with the same interest. That was the time and point I started to grow , slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together..

What makes the lifestyle so awesome is we find our own place in life we need to be, it allows us to be who and what we are. It allows us to open up , communicate and share with others. I know for the longest I felt pretty lost not really having anyone to talk to, or sharing my thoughts with anyone.

Even dating It was hard to express my feelings and emotions when I did not even know what was going on inside my head, and there were not many woman who understood me.

What I have learned over the years is to try and understand others, while I may not agree we should take the time to learn when it comes to different kinks and fetishes. Today it seems we are to quick to judge others instead of trying to understand.

It was not until my early 40’s it hit me when thinking how training really hit someone , you actually change someones way of thinking, you change the way one acts, talks, walks and the way one dresses. You take things away and give as you see fit. We guide , we train , we give rules , we give the promise of being there , we communicate and yes at times we punish. This is a lot of responsibility , this is a huge task , and at times staying on task can become a task.

Over the years I made mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes and I made some over and over.  Something I never did though was blame someone else, I knew when things went south it was my fault, but by the time you catch the mistake it is to late to take control again, mainly because the sub as seen that side of you.

You can only train someone if they want , need and are serious, if the sub is just going through the steps you are wasting your time and neither of you are able to reach your goals. I always started out with small task to see what the frame of mind was. I was and did not intend to go through the motions just to get my kicks, my time was way to valuable..

What type of Dominant are you looking for, maybe a Daddy , a Top a Dominant a Master all of these are things you need to consider. If your a Baby Girl why would you enter a relationship with a Master ? If your a Bottom why would you enter a relationship with a Dominant ?

What makes you a Baby girl ? What makes you a submissive or a slave ? What makes you just a Kinkster ? The Dominant or Domme should ask the same questions , what role does one want to fall into, where is the best fit, how much responsibility or control do you want..

What do you want out of being trained ? What are your goals ? What are your needs ? Has the training process been explained to you ? What does the Dominant want out of your training ?

The question is , What Do You Want To Do With Your One And Only Life ?

viledesires62@aol.com

focused

Vile

 

 

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

TRUST

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Trust, Choices, compatibility, consequences, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

How long does it take to build trust in someone ? A day ? Three days ? A Week ? A Month ? Six Months ? I mean really trust, what is the amount of time for someone to how their true colors ? What if you have been stepped on, beaten down like a wet dog ? What if you have been cheated on ? What if you have been abused , maybe physically , maybe mentally , maybe verbally , or maybe just flat out lied to , how long does it take to trust in any relationship Vanilla , D’s Or M’s how long does it take ?

What if your what I call a relationship jumper , how long does it take you to build trust ? What if you move from one abusive relationship to another , how long does it take you to trust ?

What if your being hit or beaten on a daily basis , where does the trust come into play ? I wonder at times what goes through the minds of abusive women and men as well ?

How long does it take to trust ? I know one thing for sure if your able to trust you will give more of yourself , you will feel more open.

How long does it take to trust someone if your going to scene with someone ? Tie you up ? Place you in handcuffs ? I would imagine the trust would have to be pretty deep would it not ?

Like many of you I have been played and I have been played hard , until I learned from my mistakes. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
Insanity is making the same mistake over and over again expecting different results. I also learned to pick up on the fakes , the game players. The game players I suppose some do not even know they are playing a game , being use to using people.
You turn the tables and it is a whole different ball game. If your playing a game you have to know the rules, if you don’t you lose. Once your on the pitchers mound your in control, you control where the ball goes. Your not trying to play them your just putting up blocks.

You never want to lay out all of your cards once you show your whole hand your pretty much done , you need that control , you need to keep them guessing after all it is trust your trying to build.

Many have walls that are put up , I have a series of doors, as you gain access to each door you gain a little more trust. I can tell you very few have made it to the last door, I let very few people in, maybe a glance or a peak but never fully. Arianna has full access I suppose I trust her and I trust without question or thought.

Surely there has to be trust if your going to get on your knees and suck cock, or lay on your back and spread. I would think even more so if you allow someone to tie you up.

I have said this before life revolves around two things choices and consequences , you are in full control.

choices

Vile

BDSM With No Emotion

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, codependency, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, fifty shades of grey, https://ncsfreedom.org/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, NCSF, owned property, Owned Slave, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sane and consensual, sex slave, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, viledesires62@aol.com on July 12, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love comments , I love what others have to say, I love hearing their point of view, I love it when others share feeling and their thoughts. How ever if you are just going to Bash me your comment will be deleted. I am far from a professional writer and most of my post are done in 10 or 15 time slots in the early am of the hours.
Enough about that , from time to time I will get a comment or a question from a younger Dominant who is up and coming , while it is true we all have to start somewhere , that starting point is the beginning of a new foundation in our life…..

The early steps we take will be our paths for many years and we do not get the opportunity to change it that often , and if we do it really takes a lot of work, mainly because you pretty much have to reconstruct your whole thought process. Wow that is pretty deep coming from me.

Maybe sometimes we get caught up in life and screwed over enough we lose our emotions, we lose feelings or the ability to have feelings towards someone in a relationship. Maybe trust comes into play , maybe your not capable of feeling any longer, maybe your not able to trust.

No emotions no feelings when entering a relationship is not fair to someone who attempting to build a lasting relationship. This is where communication comes in and sharing your point of view, maybe leaving no hope of building something or maybe there may be light at the end of the tunnel.

Arianna and I met a Master some time ago who was or is looking for a consensual , non consensual relationship. We met up for lunch one day and he literally drilled us for a couple of hours wanting to know about the foundation of our relationship and what we did to make it work.

One thing I found odd is he would not really share much of his thoughts on how he saw his relationship , mainly because I think it was really dark and maybe I am better off not knowing. I would not of judged or thought his way was wrong , maybe I would of even tried to understand.

There are so many different levels of submission , and the same for those who are Dominants or Masters, from mild and no control , to the most , unthinkable acts one could think of.

I know from experience being a sadist at one time , very few sadist are capable of developing any feelings or emotions. While I liked I did not want to feel , because if I felt I would not of wanted to inflict pain and at that time inflicting pain was a need.

To date I am living the dream, it may seem like I brag a lot but it is really not bragging. I want to show others in the lifestyle your relationship can be the same if not better.

A Question that came up on the topic of Sex and submission was …

Again I’m pretty new to the scene so sorry if this is rude, but I thought in TPE the decisions were up to the Dom. Why would a third need to win over Arianna, doesn’t she consider your word final?

This is an awesome question and and yes in my home I have the final say the final word case closed. Looking deeper though if you have never known or felt love just ask me how deep my love for Arianna is. My last thought and night and my first breath when my eyes open.
Arianna is my responsibility and she not only needs me to make the decisions she trust me enough to know I will. What ever I decide effects both of us, and the outcome of any decision I make could make or break.

Talks of a Triad is still on going , and we are still giving it great consideration but it would really have to be someone special. You have to be careful when you bring someone into your home, because what you have built could come tumbling down out of control and no way to fix it.
While I could just bring someone else in and say to Arianna this is our new slave take it or leave it. While Arianna is my slave she does have the right to leave at anytime. This falls under the consensual side of things, and our relationship is 100% consensual….

Question….

1. Does there have to be an emotional component to a Master / Slave relationship? I’m very turned on by the idea of owning a woman and using her sexually as I like. However, I don’t feel like I could love such a woman, and I’d prefer she not love me either. The few women I’ve loved in my life were pretty amazing as-is and needed no correction from me, I’d have gained no pleasure from disciplining them. The desire to train a slave and punish her for disobeying is a purely sexual one. Is that unheard of in the BDSM world? Are there subs who get off sexually on subbing without expecting a dom to take care of their emotional needs, and who don’t expect him to be all sweet and romantic?

So your thinking a consensual non-consensual relationship which would be made during the negotiation process. Both agree or the slave would agree you can do anything to me without question or without future negotiation. That truly takes a lot of trust.

The answer is yes there are those out there dominant and submissive who are seeking relationships where there would be no feelings involved at all, purely sexual.
Here is where the problem lays, most but not all who are submissive to have a codependency problem to a certain extent, some more than others, then you speak about a slave. A slave requires a great deal of care, not only physically but mentally . While it is possible to have the type of relationship your looking for, you would have to do it without any type of connection between the two of you, there would not be a bond, nor would the slave truly be able to trust, she could trust enough to play but not trust enough to fully let go.
Training takes a lot of time and dedication , if you do not live together training is nearly impossible because you really have no control. You as the Master have to set down and define who and what you are, you have to know what you need and what you need out of your slave. Being upfront about your intentions, being open about your thoughts…

3. I am really, really turned off by the idea that the sub is really in control of everything, and that this all secretly for her benefit. That the dom’s job is to orchestrate every sexual encounter to be totally mind-blowing for her like he’s choreographing a Broadway show. No thanks. I want a woman who genuinely wants to be my property, a toy I use how I want, when I want (within her limits, obviously). So many submissives claim that the pride they feel in pleasing their master is all the pleasure they need, but then go on to talk about lovely spankings and reassuring hands. Really? Is he your master or your slave? Does he rub your feet too? 😀
Meanwhile I read some of your slave’s blog and, wow. You have her trained so damn well. That post where you face-fucked her til she puked and then you made her clean it up was the hottest, rawest thing I’ve read in so long. You are the first dom I’ve encountered who trained a sex slave that actually does what men want. None of that dainty Fifty Shades stuff, riding crops and silk blindfolds. How did you do it? I mean was she always into throat-fucking and painal or did you push her there? If you did it, you should write a book, man; you will make a million dollars. If you didn’t, where did you find her?!?

You know you speak of your turned off by the idea that a submissive is in control , and in most cases this is true. The Dominant will want something but will cave in under pressure. So the Dominant is in fact in control until the submissive Barks and the dom backs down. So in this type of relationship who is really the Dominant?

What your seeking can be found it will just require a lot of time and patience on your part and sticking to what you need in a relationship. Many who live the lifestyle are not truly 24/7 even though they come off as being , some even say you cannot live 24/7 and that is a crock because I do.
I control everything from the time we get up until we go to bed. Many claim they do not want that kind of responsibility but it is really easy to put a plan into place.

Yes Fifty Shades was a let down I did take Arianna to see it but instead of BDSM it was a love story about a Dominant who suffered from childhood problems and depression. There was no structure , no rules or any reason to why he wanted to do the things he wanted to do….

So how did I do it you ask? Well as I said above I had to define who and what I was. I had to have a clear picture as to what type of relationship I wanted. I have had relationships in the past and for the most all were good and we parted on good terms, but I was still looking for that definition.

The rules , structure and protocols you had for you last slave will not work for someone new, mainly because people are different, needs are different and we grow , we grow on a daily basis.

Once you start your training you have to stick with it, once you explain how the relationship will work and what you expect you have to stick to it. Once you change or give in you have lost control.

While sitting here I started thinking Arianna and I have what you would call a consensual non-consensual relationship. Our relationship was negotiated before we agreed to actually enter a M’s relationship. As I stated before when entering a relationship I would bend when it came to my needs but in the end I was not in a fulfilling relationship. My needs were not being met and I was not able to be who I was.

Many in the BDSM world view consensual non -consent bad many see it as an open door to abuse , and the term is mainly geared towards owners of property.
I suppose there are those who take the term to the extreme , but if you truly care about your slave or property surely you would not bring and physical or mental harm to them.

The basis of consensual non-consent is: “I consent for You to do whatever You like to me without future negotiation”. There is just the first consent. Yes, I consent to whatever is going to happen, without needing to further negotiate what is going to happen. Obviously, strong trust is involved.

There are many reasons why consensual non-consent is a common way for BDSM partners to play. It is a strong reinforcement of the power exchange, and it supports mystery, spontaneity and excitement from the unknown. Many people argue that SSC (safe, sane and consensual) takes away the ultimate BDSM experiences in exchange for relatively safe exploration.

While you can have a relationship without caring , or not having any emotions , that would also bring no connection and a lack of trust on the slaves part , not that it cannot be done. If you were to find such a partner the relationship would be based off of just lust and we all know those are short lived. In the end you put a lot of time into a relationship and when it ends you have nothing to show for it.

It may not seem like much when your 20 , or 30 maybe even not 40 , but there will come a time when you are going to need more , and your needs will out weigh your wants. Once you hit 30 time does fly….

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