Archive for the adapting Category

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

What Type Of Submissive Are You.

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, Submissive kitten, The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive's, What type of submissive are you on July 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

On 12/23/2012 , Wow time really flies when your having fun yes ?

I found a article on tumbler that caught my eye , although I may not agree with everything , I do agree with most. In our lifestyle it is really hard to pin point who and what we are , mainly because we are revolving on a regular basis , daily , weekly , monthly and so on.

I think it would be hard to give a full description of who and what you are when it comes to the lifestyle. One thing that is for sure is you are who you are and you need someone who is a perfect fit.

The post is called The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s

Type one would be the Little Girl Submissive , please not this has nothing to do with incest or Pedophilia, it is a personality , but there are some who find this type of relationship offensive. I know in the past I have spoken to subs and slaves and when I just brought up the topic the conversation was over.

Second was the Tame me submissive which I find to be bogus  , this is a mindset a submissive will have after doing some reading or speaking with others who are submissive. The truth is not many Dominants will put up with such attitudes.

Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. Again this type of attitude I believe is short lived , because there are not many Dominants who will put up with this type of attitude.

Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which she comes into contact. This type is very rare and again there are not many who will put up with such an attitude. These types of relationships are short lived…

Type Five: The “My Master is God” Submissive – Also known as they “I have a master and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their masters can do absolutely no wrong and that their master’s word is as good as law and that their masters know everything there is to know about everything. The “My Master is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their masters..
Okay I cannot think of anything to add here…

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit.
Okay these are those who think their way is the only way….

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be.

I am going to edit this to the True Slave. Seven describes Arianna to a T, as a matter of fact when I first read this , It made me think of her.

So we all have labels , some have titles, some want a label but are unsure where they fall within the lifestyle.

Just as there are different types of submissive’s and Slaves there are different types of Dominants each has their own role in their life and the lifestyle, each has different responsibility’s and each has different levels of care. All Dominants are different , some are strict , while others are not. Some are more physical , others are not.

I was speaking with a Dominant not long ago and he told me he was a sensual Dominant , and I had to ask , what the fuck is a sensual Dominant ? His Ball Park his Game.

A submissive had said something about going into sub-space and her Top was not there for her. While I do somewhat feel bad , I had to explain he is a Top and not a Dominant , there is a huge , huge difference. A Top is Dominant in most cases during play or maybe not even dominant, but once the play is over and finished so is his role, hes done… There is no reason to be upset at the Top….

If your going to play outside of a relationship your head has to be in the right place. Playing I mean with someone you know and trust. The closer the connection the more likely your going to experience Sub-drop if your going home alone.

Dominants while I have heard of Dom drop I have never experienced it myself. I am not saying it cannot happen it has just never happened to me. In some ways I could understand how it could happen but in other ways I cannot.

While you may put a label on what type of personality you have , once your in a relationship and you are trained your Dominant or owner will define who and what you are.

A submissive contacted me who said she was a brat who is rebellious and was hard to handle , no when I add those two together it equals Bitch wanting your way…

People are to quick to judge when they do not understand something , or some may think their way is the only way, when in fact that is false.

prayer

Vile

TRUST

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Trust, Choices, compatibility, consequences, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

How long does it take to build trust in someone ? A day ? Three days ? A Week ? A Month ? Six Months ? I mean really trust, what is the amount of time for someone to how their true colors ? What if you have been stepped on, beaten down like a wet dog ? What if you have been cheated on ? What if you have been abused , maybe physically , maybe mentally , maybe verbally , or maybe just flat out lied to , how long does it take to trust in any relationship Vanilla , D’s Or M’s how long does it take ?

What if your what I call a relationship jumper , how long does it take you to build trust ? What if you move from one abusive relationship to another , how long does it take you to trust ?

What if your being hit or beaten on a daily basis , where does the trust come into play ? I wonder at times what goes through the minds of abusive women and men as well ?

How long does it take to trust ? I know one thing for sure if your able to trust you will give more of yourself , you will feel more open.

How long does it take to trust someone if your going to scene with someone ? Tie you up ? Place you in handcuffs ? I would imagine the trust would have to be pretty deep would it not ?

Like many of you I have been played and I have been played hard , until I learned from my mistakes. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
Insanity is making the same mistake over and over again expecting different results. I also learned to pick up on the fakes , the game players. The game players I suppose some do not even know they are playing a game , being use to using people.
You turn the tables and it is a whole different ball game. If your playing a game you have to know the rules, if you don’t you lose. Once your on the pitchers mound your in control, you control where the ball goes. Your not trying to play them your just putting up blocks.

You never want to lay out all of your cards once you show your whole hand your pretty much done , you need that control , you need to keep them guessing after all it is trust your trying to build.

Many have walls that are put up , I have a series of doors, as you gain access to each door you gain a little more trust. I can tell you very few have made it to the last door, I let very few people in, maybe a glance or a peak but never fully. Arianna has full access I suppose I trust her and I trust without question or thought.

Surely there has to be trust if your going to get on your knees and suck cock, or lay on your back and spread. I would think even more so if you allow someone to tie you up.

I have said this before life revolves around two things choices and consequences , you are in full control.

choices

Vile

Our Total Power Exchange

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, molding your slave, munchs, owned property, Owned Slave, Protocol public, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, training your slave, Training your submissive on June 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I searched for some two years for what I will call the perfect partner. I was extremely tired of settling for less when I knew a relationship was not going to work. Maybe I did it because of the companionship , a steady piece of ass , or maybe because I love a challenge I was hoping to take something impossible and make it work.

Here is where it gets somewhat tricky. As long as I can remember I have viewed women as objects , toys , here for service and pleasure. There is also another side to that statement. If you were not submissive Id id not try to push my beliefs on you nor would I try and change you.
I gave those the up most respect. Today I have females who are friends who are not in the lifestyle and I do not discuss the lifestyle in anyway. There are those who I have bent over backwards to help who are not in the lifestyle. So the above statement does not pertain to everyone.

I may not know everything and I have never claimed to know everything but I do know if you do not have a plan , if you do not have some kind of idea when it comes to the type of relationship you want, or the type of Baby Girl , submissive or slave it will never work. These are the people who settle for less. These are the Dominants who try to change someone into someone they are not and it never works. So he ends up exerting all of this energy and time to only find it has been wasted and the slave takes the blame.

Those who are new to the lifestyle are easy targets , they have this huge target on their shirt that says , Hi I am new and I am Gullible.

Although I have had 3 or 4 long term relationships , it was not until many years down the road that I realized I had not defined who or what I was.
Defining myself was a huge piece of the puzzle and without that piece I could never complete the puzzle.

While standing on the side of a canal one night thinking , Animel and I had just left a Chinese Buffet , where I met a woman who knew me but I did not know her and she was scared to death of me, I blogged about this before.

While thinking it hit me like an asteroid , WOW you stupid mother fucker you have had the last few pieces of the puzzle all along you just were not ready to complete it or maybe I was not ready.

I was more concerned about the next piece of ass , the next blow job , or who I could inflict pain on. I was a sadist for many years but I was not a Dominant. Mainly because I did not want that kind of responsibility , nor did I care , or maybe I did not have a clue.

So lets look at the three Basic types of Dominants , first is the Daddy Dom , I know of one I can say I respect and I believe their relationship is steadily evolving , into something more, John Brownstone. Most Daddy Doms are married and cheating. Most daddy Doms are not active in the local community due to the fact of being married, most do not impose rules or structure again because of the responsibility….

This is from a profile on Fetlife………. FInally I seek discreetion as I am married to a ultra-vanilla wife who has zero interest in the lifestyle and hope to eventually find my sub who knows she will be treasured.

Just how fucked up is this? His wife has no clue and as far as she knows everything is fine, and I am sure if she read his profile she would run. So my question is , why not just leave ? The remark She will be Treasured is a total lie because he will not be able to dedicate this time needed. Because when he is needed he will not be able to be there for her.

The Dominant who is Dominant but he is not in complete charge nor is he in control 100% of the time because his submissive has the right to say no even when it comes to following rules. The Dominant is only in charge when the submissive allows him to be in charge. The submissive will only follow rules when it is convenient or they are feeling submissive.

Those who do not live together do not have a clear understand of how a power exchange relationship works. This is because the Dominant clearly has no control over the relationship nor is the submissive able to submit on a regular basis. Training cannot be done and this is because Training has to be daily and consistent. It is not like a book where you read a few chapters , put it down and pick back up a week later.

Total Power Exchange..

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Total power exchange)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which “love” is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[2]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Slave Training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a Master or Mistress and a slave. The objective is to change the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.

Slave training can be a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master or Mistress (or Dominant). Training is usually defined in clear steps or lesson plans before it begins. The Master or Mistress teaches the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing the Master or Mistress. The slave, in return, derives pleasure from being able to please and serve the Master or Mistress. The slave may also be rewarded tangibly, such as with food, a bed, etc

Training is something I have believed in for sometime , and although in previous relationships there was training , it was nothing compared to the training Arianna went through. Maybe one reason is I was not really ready to settle down, or maybe I had never found the one.
To change ones behavior , the way someone talks, dresses , speaks as well as to others. Hair color, nail polish really everything. I mold to fit my needs. I mold to benefit the slave , my slave.
Every rule I have in place is to benefit Arianna not me, after all the relationship is to insure she is taken care of. I however do come first that includes eating.

I would suspect many relationships fail because there is not a clear understanding prior to entering a relationship. This is due to both trying to be politically correct in fear of not being accepted , or rejected. If both are not upfront about their needs in fear of losing a potential will still end in a total disaster.

A Kinkster is just Kinky , A submissive submits because it is a need but submits on their terms. A slave you needs a TPE relationship Total Power Exchange gives herself or himself because it is a need.
The TPE does not make one weak as most think , Arianna has a degree and has had the same employer for almost 16 years.

What people do not understand is everyone is different , everyone has different needs. Every Dominant , Daddy and Master are different but many times people are to quick to judge and tell others how they are doing it wrong.
The people telling others who are wrong are the ones who are fucked up. There is no BDSM bible and while there is a lot of literature on this subject you are reading someones opinion , just like what I write is my opinion.

Our TPE Total Power Exchange was worked out prior to entering a relationship , it was not something I was interested in but I felt we had enough in common to move forward and give it a try.

I control everything in our home , to include what Arianna wears , hair color , bed time and what time to wake, what she eats. Most of the time I leave cooking up to her but at times I tell her what I want to eat. While I am in full control of the finances I do let Arianna take care of that end, but I know where every penny is spent.

The relationship started out as consensual and today it is still consensual , through our communication and being open with each other , I am proud to say it has been almost 3 years and to date we still have not had an argument. I have not raised my voice nor have I called her any names out of anger.

I have a firm rule I follow , I never lose my temper towards the one who gets on their knees or lays on their back and takes what I have to give.

We are going through changes and our relationship is still continuing to grow, now Arianna is always looking for more ways to submit. As we grow and talk she still wants to dig deeper into her submission.
I will admit she does keep me on my toes and keeps me thinking. My question or thoughts are how deep can one go ? Is there an end or does one continue to travel deeper ?
Ia m going to implement more protocols that will be a reminder of who she is. Just as speaking in thirds which she has mastered , that is a reminder and today she does not even think about the way she is talking and is able to change once out in public.

Putting protocols in place provides structure, structure provides a stable relationship , and then comes communication.
I can say without a Doubt and in Honesty I run my house. I am head cheese , Head Honcho , the king and Emperor. That is something i had to earn it was not giving nor was it demanded , it was earned.

respect

Vile

Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..

http://www.livestrong.com/article/234171-examples-of-behavior-modification-plans/

Basics

Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?

Consistency

When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.

train

Vile

Training No patience..No perseverance

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collarme.com, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominants Protocol, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Patience, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, submit, sucking cock on March 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am still looking for a genuine one who doesn’t think that Slave Training is like popping up an energy pill…no patience..no perseverance …How can they expect to reach the ‘destination’….Any girl feels to the contrary..most welcome to inbox me….BUT only after having read my full profile.

This is a topic in a Fetlife group from a Dominant , a Dominant with no patience , an online Dominant looking for another Slave..

Relationships can be found online eHaromy says so Christian Mingle says so as well as Match. The jokes of the century are Alt. com and the famous Collarme, both are pussy farms and nothing more. Those two are one of the few places you pay for spam, and its not even good spam.

The other side of the story there are many who believe or think they are submissive but they are not. Maybe from talking to others , in person or a chat room , reading a story or a book , and then when you meet a Dominant your like what the fuck is going on ? You are hearing what is being said but your not listening , and what may seem like abuse on your end is really a lack of communication on your end. Most of the time a good Dominant can catch those who are living in a fantasy world and tell her her to move on, unless hes just looking for a fast fuck.

When you add a combination of things together in a relationship Patience tops the list along with being honest, telling the truth, being who and what you are. At number one though is keeping your word. Keeping your word will push the relationship in high gear.

If your training consist of a couple of monthly meetings that last about an hour sometimes two, and it is a little bondage , or your time is spent on your knees or your back. The truth is your being used, your a fuck toy and nothing more.

Once you enter a D’s or M’s relationship you will go through different levels of your relationship, the first being getting to know each other. If the Dominant if only interested in sex there you go, that is what your relationship will be based on.

Your communication is going to grow on different levels as you both begin to explore new sides of your freedom. There will be different levels of trust. There will be different levels of structure . Your needs will change and will continue to change until you find that place you have been looking for , and it is up to your Dominant to change with you. What keeps these levels growing is communication. If you are afraid to communicate in fear of being rejected or yelled at , even dumped , then there is not much there anyway.

We are in full control of our own lives , it is us who controls the paths we take and Don’t take. If your going to be Dumb you gotta be tough.

kneeling62

Vile

What An Awesome Life

Posted in adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, commitment, communication, Dominants, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive on March 16, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

On Thursday we went to the Monkey Doctor for Arianna’s annual exam , yea nothing I would rather be doing than sitting in a Doctors office with a bunch of pregnant women , and no Arianna is not pregnant , she was just getting the factory checked out.

So sitting there gave me a little free time to just think and as my mind began to wonder , I thought to myself, Self ! you really have it made.
Arianna and I have been joking because I carry a Dollar in my pocket , and I was saying you cannot buy a fucking thing with a dollar , so now I have two dollars in my pocket and this am a ten was laying on the table.
I am not one to carry cash anyway because all of my needs are met, and as she stated I get pretty much anything I want anyway, and you know she is 100% right….

I was looking back at day one when I first met Arianna. As many of you know if you have been following me. Arianna had a break down when we first met. This is when the Doctors found out about our lifestyle and supported us 100% , even to the point of agreeing that the structure we had in place was a good thing.
Arianna had missed a lot of work but with the amount of off time she receives from work she was getting paid anyway, but that is not the point. The point was to get her healthy.

It was me who found her a new doctor who really dislikes me , but such is life. I am not going to say it has been a struggle because it has not been. It is much different when two are working together as a team.

So the progress has been awesome , I could not ask for more or better. Arianna’s medication has been cut quiet a bit , and now she has registered at a college , to continue her learning. She is now looking at a new career in her second part of life.
So this means here pretty soon Ill be banging a college chick.

I explained to Arianna by filling out the paper work it was in no way a final decision , it was her who had to think things through and it would be her own decision, but I would back her with what ever she wanted to do.

It is truly amazing to just sit back and look at how much progress as been made, how far we have come and where we are going. It is truly amazing to sit back and look at how you have effected someones life , to see the changes that has happened over time. It is amazing to see how the rules and protocols you have put in place has changed someone.

Last but not least my favorite past time is cooking , I love to cook , don’t tell anyone though cooking does not sound to Domish. I love to grill , and each time I try and out do the last. I do not follow any recipes I think about what sounds good and how it would taste if I was going to cook it..
Arianna on the other hand is an awesome cook as well , and she has a couple of apps she uses. So just about every night we have something different…

This was my last dinner I cooked last week , a bone in pork chop you could cut with a fork.

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