Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.
This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.
Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.
Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved. What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.
At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.
I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.
So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.
Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.
What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?
There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.
Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.
As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.
It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.
Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.
Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.
Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.
The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.
You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.
Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.
How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.
It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.
If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.
Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?
If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.
A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….
So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.
Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.
Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.
Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.