Archive for the Adrenaline Category

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

Spanking , Sucking Cock ,And Yea Baby Anal Sex

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Adrenaline, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, ass play, ass to mouth, Baby Oil, bdsm, blow job, Consensual, control, cum, Cumming, Discipline, Dominant, endorphin's, Face Fucking, FaceBook Vile Woods, foreplay, fuck hole, Giving Head, I own every hole, inhibitions, Loyal, Master And Slave, masturbation, oral sex, Pain, peaking, sex, slave, slave dress, Slave no rights, Spanking, sub-space, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submit, sucking cock on July 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My three favorite subjects.

A little bit of information about Arianna and I, Although we are TPE Master and Slave, in a no rights relationship, I am not into pain. The thing that many do not understand pain does not have to be part of the lifestyle, I am more into the Discipline part, structure,and protocols. Those three things are very important to me.

I am more into the control aspect of the relationship, and I am very fortunate to of found Arianna.

99% of the time if a man is successful in life it is because of his wife, because she was smart enough to put the home together,she was smart enough to save, she was smart enough to insure the family was taking care of.

The Slave or Submissive makes the Dominant, they make the Master. They give reason, they give drive,and I know everyday I give thanks.

I am thankful I have Arianna, I am thankful she is so compliant, I am thankful she allowed me to collar her, and become my property. I am thankful she is honest, and loyal. I am thankful she is so understanding. I am also thankful she understands my personality knowing there is a great chance I will embarrass her in public,because that is just me.

The sexual side of things, I am also thankful she really knows how to suck cock, I am thankful she knows how to use her pussy muscles, and I am thankful she has a nice ass. I hat to see Arianna leave but I love to watch her go. She has this awesome bubble butt. It also makes for more pleasure when I am up behind her fixing to slide my cock in.

Three things I require before entering a relationship, you suck cock, you swallow, and anal sex, if you say no to anyone of those three, our conversation is over, because I refuse to settle for less.

Now here is something interesting , if and when we add a sister to our home, I will not require those things. That way Arianna is giving something special if that makes since.

Arianna sleep nude every night, no clothes are allowed while she is in bed. Most of the time Arianna is nude while home. The first thing she does once home is shower, shave, and then I may allow clothes. If I do allow she has a slave dress she wears, there are two, I picked both out, and they are nothing pretty.

Female endorphins are released during play. It does not have to do anything with pain, just the erotic part of playing, the foreplay, fingering anal teasing.
The releasing of endorphins this is the process of reaching sub-space, again pain is not need to reach sub-space. It is the mind set between the two of you, how well your minds are acting as one.
Arianna gets goofy, she starts to ramble, talking and making no sense, other get numb and feel as though they are going to pass out, they have no control over their surroundings. Many believe pain is needed to reach Sub-Space but that is just not true. It is also true sub-space is not going to be reached every time.
Sub-space is mental and nothing more, this is the point and time you have truly giving your all because you feel comfortable enough being with your partner.

Spanking if done right and your partner is truly into erotic spanking you can have the endorphin release. just like sucking on her clit and she cums.

I was seeing a slave at one time who got off on needle play, and the look on her face was pure Ecstasy.
Now the way I learned how to do needle play was, yup on myself , I stuck several in me because I wanted to know what the feeling was like, all your doing is breaking the skin, there is little to no blood involved. From the first needle she was floating, and her body became limp, she had no clue to what was going on around her.

Spanking is the same thing, nerve endings, and if your partner is truly into spanking, again you have the endorphin release.

Bent over exposing herself, legs spread just a little for her pussy lips are exposed, as you stand behind her telling her not to fucking move, and you hand makes contact, with your hand cupped it makes the sound louder than it really is. I have found the use of baby oil, well if your into like special effects, it sounds louder than the slap really is. Switching from cheek to cheek, if you cup her pussy you can feel it getting wet.

Sucking cock, I see sucking cock as being submissive, many do not because to some it is just sucking cock. But being told how to do it, guiding their movements, I set the pace. your either just going to lay there sucking and french kissing my cock while its in your mouth, or ill put one hand on your chin and the other on your forehead and I will do all the work, from top to very bottom. Sometimes I want to cum and others I do not want to lose that moment, because well it just feels so fucking good.

I say Lube my cock, I hear Arianna say with my mouth or Lube. That is just fucking hot, there are no questions, no hesitation she knows what is next. Once lubed , my command is on hands and knees, she knows then to reach around and put a hand on each cheek and spread her ass open. Remember the Training?
Come on girl back up on it, I put my cock right at the entrence, come on girl back up on it, inching backwards hands still on ass cheeks, yea I am in, NASA we have landed.
I just sit there and wait, feeling her ass muscles grip my cock. I move her hands I reach up and grab a handful of hair, and I slowly start fucking. I let the head come almost all the way out, then back in.

At times I will instruct Arianna to get her vibrator because I am going to let her cum, while I am fucking her ass. sometimes I cum in her ass, but she is so beautiful, I love watching my cock slide in and out of her mouth, so once she cums I pull out I get on my back and I tell her to put her face to work.
Once finished and I pull her head up by her hair, it is a sign of beauty with all the slobber dripping from her mouth.

Then Arianna says in a very low voice. Thank You.

Vile

Today I Am Slave Vile

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, anticipation, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, being used, chat room, Collar, Collarme.com, communication, Consensual, Dominants, Fake Dominants, No Panties, predators, Rules, slave, Submission, sucking cock, Training Collar, Trust on December 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

So I have been looking for a new master for a few months, I joined collarme.com because well that just seems like the place. There are so many Masters to choose from. I know I am new and I am inexperienced but surely I will find someone who will except me.

So I made a profile, and within 24 hours I have received over 250 emails, wow I cannot believe the response I have gotten. Then I notice there are three who live relatively close to me. So after a little thinking I decided to write each one and see how things go

The next morning I get three reply’s all giving me their Yahoo messenger so I log in and I add each name. Now I am feeling excited because I really do not know what to expect.

So after a little hesitation I send my first Message, Hello? I wait and wait, then finely that would be Master, how are you doing today?

I am doing well thank you hmmm Master.

So what are you looking for ? I am looking for a Master someone who can teach me about BDSM.

I only saw the one pic on your profile do you have any more ? Yes I can send through messenger if you would like. Yes send them now. There I sent four that is all I have at the moment.

Very pretty I love your eyes. I am looking for a Slave someone I can collar, but I really need to see more of you.

More of me ? Yes more you sent pics but there were no full body pics, I want to see all of you, do you have a cam? Yes I do, would you like to see me? Yes now, I will let you know upfront I am a very strict Master, and I have no problems punishing my slave.

What is your favorite position if your being fucked? Well I love it doggy style. I really hate being on top because it makes me feel like I am in control. Do you like oral sex? Yes. Do you swallow? I have but it is not my favorite. Well I expect my slave to swallow. Do you like anal sex? It is okay Ive done it once it hurt a little. I love anal sex and I take it when ever I want. Where is your cam?

How many slaves do you own now? I am single as of now so I am really looking. What kind of work do you do? I am in between jobs but I can afford to take my time. So turn your cam on.

So you spend a day chatting, you send pics, you get naked on cam for what you hope to be your new Master, you just open yourself wide open. He knows everything about you, things you have not even told your closest friends.

Now the next day your going to meet.

What would you like for me to wear? How short is your shortest skirt ? Well I really do not own a short skirt, and I cannot afford to by one. Okay wear the shortest dress you have and your not allowed to wear any panties, understood. Why no panties I really don’t feel comfortable not wearing any? Because I am the Dom, and you are suppose to please me.

So where would you like to meet? I know where this park is, it is kinda private we could really talk. I would like to meet someplace in public if that is okay like maybe a restaurant? 

So I show up about a half hour early waiting and waiting, then I finely see him walk through the door, and I am thinking really? OMG what have I gotten myself into.

So this guy sits down I get this big know in my stomach and he is just starring at me. I have questions I want to ask but I am not sure how to go about it. I really don’t want to make him mad.

Did you wear panties ? I think for a second and I say no I did not. Let me see lift up your dress. So I hesitate then I slowly lift up my dress exposing myself right there in front of everyone.

So John I have a few questions to ask? That would be Master. Hmm okay Master I had a few questions I would like to ask. Sure you can ask anything. How long have you been in the lifestyle? I have been a Master for 20 plus years.

Okay what makes you a Dominant? I like being in control, giving orders and I punish when it is needed. Okay well as I said I am not really into pain. That is okay I can train you to like pain not a problem. How many slave have you owned? I have owned hmmm lets see 9 I have owned 9 slaves. Okay would it be possible is I spoke to one of them or maybe emailed you know as a reference. There is no need for that I have already told you everything about me. I have not been in contact with any of them for a long time. You can trust me.

Well look it is getting late, we should get a room so we can start your training today? My training? Yes I want to see how well you suck cock, that is very important to me. I want to show you the way I like it.

Sucking cock is part of training? Look what is up with all these questions are you a slave or not? Are you looking for a master or not> Your lucky I even wanted to meet you.

Look I brought this training collar, you can put it on. So I will own you now. But we just met is this how it works? It is how I work, remember I am the master you are the slave.

Umm okay well are you active in the local BDSM community? Nah I don’t believe in showing off or proving anything to people I know who I am. Well do you know any other Masters? Sure I do. Would it be possible to meet your friends? There is no need I am a very private person.

Come on lets start your training.

Now many of you have been through the same scenario, many of you have heard the same words. The only difference is, you either were scared to ask any questions, or you did not know you should ask questions. 

The Dominant who insisted on being called Master gave you no real answers, he spent more time beating around the bush. He had one thing on his mind and that was getting his cock sucked, and chances are he would want you to pay half of the room or he may even want you to pay for all of it.

When meeting someone new. Do not ever let someone tell you what to wear. You wear what you feel safe in. Never let anyone demand you call them Master, nor do you let anyone offer you a collar on the first meeting. Remember a collar is earned.

You should never put yourself in any type of danger. Asking you to meet at a park is the first bad sign. Your going someplace wear a dress and no panties.

Ask questions take a list with you. When you ask look into his eyes, the eyes tell all, his hands the way he moves his fingers when he is being confronted. References are very important, are you just going to take some guys words you met on an adult dating site, the one with 20 years experience. Really are you.

Maybe go to a motel and get your ass beat, a black eye, a busted lip or worse.

Everyone of you be it a submissive or slave you have so much to offer, you have so much to give. Do not let someone take advantage of you, take what you are wanting to give, use you then toss you aside.

Be careful and play safe. Hey if you have something to prove and he is able to answer all your questions and you feel safe, have at it, but just be sure.

Remember your safe call which I did not do. Take a picture of his tag send it to a friend. Go the extra mile pay for a back ground check about 20 bucks. Call several times during your meeting. Have your friend call the restaurant so the waiter can give you a message. Let the new Dom know whats going on. If he is okay he will see nothing wrong with it. Always have his first and last name. You all have met Doms and did not know there last name.

Finely get there home address, where they work, and let it be known you will want to stop by his house to visit. If he acts surprised and starts to makes excuses then the conversation should be over. Simply get up and walk out no questions and no answers needed.

You do not need to end up someplace as a Jane Doe. nor does your family.

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Vile

Sub space Does Not Have To Equal Pain

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, Dominants, Ego, emotional, Emotions, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Hot Wax, Ice, inhibitions, masochist, Master, music, Pain, sadist, Safe, Sensory Deprivation, session, slave, sub-space, Submission, submissive on October 2, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sherri was a true Masochist in almost seven year that bitch did not cry one time, with the exception of us parting. I had never seen anything like it. A belt, a single tail whip, or with a flogger with each strike her eyes would just glaze over. I remember our first session, I did not have a clue to what was going to happen or what I was going to do. She knew I was fairly new to the lifestyle so I let her instruct me. When I left her house some five hours later, I was scared to death, that bitch was black and blue from the neck down. I had even broken skin open in some places and she would just run her fingers across the cuts, and just moan. At times she could not even speak, her eyes just staring off into space with each contact the whip would make.

In the beginning it was fun well with the exception of the first session. I would have a bad week and I could take all of my frustration out on her, and she enjoyed it. A couple of years passed and my side of the enjoyment was coming to an end, along with the pain and the much needed humiliation it was now a task, a task that had to be out done from the last. It was taking it’s toll on me.

I was not in love I had not been nor would I of ever been, in the seven years being together I never fucked her one time, she sucked a lot of dick, but I never banged her. To this day I am not sure why, I just did not have that connection or the want. Maybe I did not want to develop any feelings. The only thing I truly liked and enjoyed the word NO never came out of her mouth. The words I can’t never came out of her mouth. Today that is not so important to me, I suppose back then I had somewhat of an ego.

Subspace you must be able to get into the mind of the submissive, the same if you want a relationship with a submissive or slave the Dominant must be able to get into their mind. To be able to figure them out, know what they are thinking, you must know your partner inside out.

Subspace is not obtainable every time you play it may not happen every twenty times you play. Some say they are able to achieve subspace every session but I find that hard to believe, I am not saying it is not possible, I would think it would be hard. Subspace also depends on the submission you are playing with, if you fully have control, if the submissive has giving herself to you mind and body.

You can actually achieve subspace without even touching the submissive, the idea is during play to confuse the mind, a type of sensory deprivation , I have blogged about this before with just blindfolding, music ,incense and being bound.  I have been wanting to try this on Arianna but our work schedules are pretty full. As a matter of fact although we do play it is not near as often as I would like.

You tie your submissive up, blindfold her, you have two or three CD player , playing different music at a low volume, you lite two or three different incense, then comes the hot wax, and the ice cubes. The mind cannot possibly process everything that is going on. You have the submission, she is tied spread. She is blindfolded. At this point the submissive feels vulnerable, now adding everything else, not speaking just mostly watching, this is where it all begins.

It may not work the first session but it will. I am also not sure how it would work in a vanilla relationship I have never tried it. When one hits subspace you are confusing the mind, most of the time with pain, but pain does not have to play a part in order for them to hit subspace.  Some enjoy pain some get off on pain even the thought of it, then some do not. If they are not into pain or they cannot take it, you will do more damage than good. I have heard Doms say I can train you to take pain, that is a load of crap.

I have a huge surprise for Arianna this weekend.

Try it you might like it.

 

Vile

Aftercare And Being Proactive

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Depressed, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, erotic, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, No Inhibitions, Pain, Patience, pleasure, proactive aftercare, provocative, punish, relationships, Respect, Safe, session, slave, Spanking, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive on September 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Aftercare BDSM

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In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities.

BDSM experiences can be exhausting; and drain the participants of mental, emotional or physical energy. As a result, one or all participants may require emotional support, comfort, reassurance, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he or she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization. Aftercare also may include a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the dominant and the submissive.

Some participants may wish to be left alone or have other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from no longer feeling safe in the current environment or situation.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners. Occasionally, more “vanilla” sexual activities such as intercourse or oral sex following an intense scene may also be considered as part of aftercare.

It is often thought in a submission/dominant relationship, only the submissive requires aftercare following BDSM activities. However, a dominant may require less, just as much, or more aftercare depending on the scene, person, experience level, and other factors. The role of submissive or dominant is unrelated to the amount of aftercare someone needs and should not be thought of as a metric in this regard.

In long distance relationships, a potentially useful practice when engaged in remote BDSM activities is to facilitate aftercare by the exchange of emotionally significant items which can be clung to for reassurance, though success of this depends on both parties’ level of emotional investment in the relationship.

If you sat down and wrote a list about your needs while in a M’s or D’s relationship Aftercare should be the first at number one, not two or three or five or six, number one. Here in a few I will explain my proactive aftercare.

You start playing or maybe you call it a session, maybe your submissive or slave is into hard impact play. Maybe you the Dom enjoys getting rough, but the submissive is really not into the rough play but goes along with to please. If your anything like me my play time can last for an hour or more.

During this time the sub is giving all they have, physically , and mentally, as well as emotionally. We take what is giving and then more. We want satisfaction out of our play time. Sometimes we go as far as pushing limits, just to see how far we can take our property. If we have pushed or maxed a limit we the Dominant gains a high, a rush, the adrenaline starts to flow. I have gotten so excited I have had to take a break so I could gather my thoughts, catch my breath, and the submissive is just laying there waiting not knowing what is on the Dominants mind, or how much longer the session is going to go on for.

After play this is when the first of aftercare kicks in, communication should be the first, asking and digging for questions. We want to know where they are at right now, what their thoughts are, how they are feeling. Talk about any limits that were pushed.  This is very important, we need to know if we pushed to far, what if the submissive did not like something it should be talked about, maybe there is another avenue we can take to make that part of the session different.  Many will play and give even if they are getting nothing out of it, this is done just to please.

Now on the other side at times we ignore aftercare, let me explain. I have met those who are submissive and Slaves who wanted to be broken. I have been asked a couple of times, but I have declined both times. First of all I did not want that type of responsibility. I did not want to be responsible for bring them down and then bringing back up. I am not sure why someone would need such a thing, but we all have our needs, Breaking someone is just not my thing. Breaking a Slave takes time, I have seen it done and it is not pretty, nor did I take part. To each their own we all have different needs within the lifestyle, so I do not judge anyone for their actions. The breaking of a Slave should only be considered if the two are entering a long term relationship, and the Slave must be sure of this. If it is just short term the after effects could be devastating.

We should hold while in the aftercare mode, we should praise, speak very highly of. We should cover every part of the scene, being sure to not miss anything. Okay I am guilty of not going into the full aftercare mode at times, but when it does come to aftercare I am proactive.

Constant praise on a daily basis. Many spend way to much time waiting on theirs to break a rule, or make a mistake, so they can correct or punish. Many Doms get off on just punishing. Degrading, humiliation. More so the new ones who have entered the lifestyle. Reading books, or looking at pictures, many for what ever reason cannot get past the pictures.

After a session or play we need to ask questions, we want to know where there thoughts are. What did they like? What did they not like? Do they want to try something different? We should hold and caress, make the two feel as one.

Proactive aftercare constant praising , when something is done comment about it.  The idea is to build up, make one feel confident. We want to build up their self esteem if needed and in most cases it is needed. This is what I mean by being proactive.

If aftercare is not performed sub drop occurs and despite what most think I do believe sub drop can be prevented with the practice of aftercare. Sub drop occurs mostly when the two do not live together, and the submissive is left alone. Getting together while in a long distance relationship every now and then, sub drop will happen.

The proper aftercare is very important we being different aftercare will vary from submissive to submissive. Some after play want to be left alone for a period of time, giving them time to gather their thoughts and feelings, while some do not want any aftercare at all. I do believe sub drop can be prevented despite what others think.

You the submissive if you feel this area is being neglected speak up, you have this right to insure you are being taking care of, you have the right to express your needs.

I am telling you from experience, if aftercare is giving and the proper amount, what use to be limits will soon start to fade away, what use to be inhibitions will soon begin to fade away. The more we as Dominants care and we show we care the more the submissive will want to give.

Aftercare is a must.

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Vile

Sub-Space

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bondage, butt plug, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Dominants, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Gagged, Hot Wax, session, slave, Spanking, sub-space, Submission, submissive on September 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The psychological state of the submissive partner in a BDSM scene is sometimes described as subspace or sub space.

The term is unrelated to the mathematical term subspace.

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses such as extended adrenaline surges that can cause exhaustion. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience.

Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence.

Many submissives require aftercare.

Have you ever been high, I am not talking about getting drunk. The word high , the numbing feeling, you were there but you were not there.

Sub-space is reached at times during heavy play, long sessions, and intense. Submissives or slaves are able to reach sub-space at times if they are with a partner they trust. Even with trust though sub-space is not obtainable every time.

Play most of the time is a pure mind-fuck. The not knowing, the guessing. Lets face it, if your going to play you are not going to go over every detail before play, what fun would that be?

The play the mind fuck, keeping them guessing, the not knowing. This type of play is fun and can be very intense. While during play the Dominant should stay in vocal contact at all times to insure you are not blowing by any limits, although you are keeping them guessing safety should be your first concern.

So you have your pet tied to the bed, spread eagle, cuffed, blindfolded, gagged, they have no idea what you are about to do, you have taking away one of their main senses their sight. They have lost the ability to move or speak, their mind is racing.

They feel your hand lightly touching them, your touching where ever you want, their mind begins to wonder their heart begins to race, it is the not knowing.

They feel the hot was being dripped onto their breast, their stomach, not knowing where the next drop will hit, their adrenaline begins to rush through their body, their endorphins are being released, they are starting to feel numb inside and out, they cannot control their thoughts or their fears. Fear is a natural feeling, fear is the unknowing. As you insert a vibrator and turn it on, maybe a butt plug at the same time, their mind is trying to register everything that is happening and it cannot.

One step further now the ear plugs, you have now taking away the ability to see and hear, they are gagged so they cannot speak.

When sub-space is reached it is a natural high, even if they were able to move, they would not be able to. They now feel every light touch be it just your fingers a feather, or a flogger. The wax you are dripping is felt one thousand times more.

I remember at one time Arianna went into sub-space, but she became giggly, her words were making no sense just off the wall stuff. She could not finish a sentence, or concentrate on any thoughts, she was just there.

Once sub-space has been reached the pain factor goes up as well, this is why it is very important to stay in verbal contact while playing.Before if the submissive was not able to take any pain, once reached the pain table has gone way up.

Still while in sub-space you could even untie and they would still not be able to move, in their mind and thoughts they are moving but there is no control, the limbs feel very heavy.

During sub-space if you should choose to have sex and the submissive reaches an orgasm it will truly blow their mind, all this adrenaline, and endorphins has to go someplace.

Yes sub-space can be very intense and fun. The main thing to remember is as the Dominant do not be disappointed is sub-space is not reached every time during play, it is not going to happen. Just play and have fun, if it happens run with it, I guarantee it will bring both of you closer and closer. Trust is very important, once you have that trust you have the world in your hands.

 

Vile