Archive for the Aftercare Category

Sub-Drop

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, Bipolar, blindfold, Bondage, cage, Cherish, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Depression, Dominants, Fear, Humiliation, masochist, Master, Masters, Mental illness, Pain, positive reinforcement, Praise, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Stressed, Sub Drop, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sub-drop is something that has to be dealt with right after a session, or rough play. I firmly believe that sub-drop can be prevented with the right care.  While some may disagree I am speaking from over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle. I am not some dude who got out of bed Friday and said I am a Dom on your knees bitch.

You spend a couple of hours in a session, playing rough, not making love but just raw, sweaty hard fucking. Last weekend Arianna and I spent about 3 hours in play from being bound in the cage, tied to the bed spread eagle, blindfolded not knowing what was going on, not a clue. I cannot even imagine that feeling. Being able to hear but you cannot see.

I love using sexually, it is like mini golf I want to play all three holes and then start over. Sometimes I don’t even want to cum because I don’t want to lose that feeling.

I love face fucking, to me face fucking making her gag is one of the most humiliating things a man can do to a woman. I love feeling the throat muscles wrap around my cock feeling that gagging sensation. WOW.

Sub-Drop there are a couple of different definitions. one being, Physical Sub Drop the other being Mental

Physical Sub-Drop during a hard play session where a lot of impact play is going on, your body see’s this as more of a trauma. So naturally the body goes into the defense mode, pulling most of the blood to the to the torso area to protect the organs, yes think about this for a second, your mind is one place, but your body is in another.  While you are enjoying the play your body is going what the fuck.

Then comes the Mental part of Sub-Drop Mental Sub-Drop is much harder to see, It varies in such a great degree from person to person but usually takes the forms of guilt, anxiety,depression, and or agitation. This can happen right after a session or it can take up to several days for Sub-Drop to kick in.

There are several things we have to look at before any type of hard play. Things should be talked about like types of medications they are taking, mind altering , for depression or any other mental illness. If someone is suffering from Bi-polar then you have to adjust your play and not push to far.  If the Dominant does not know the submissive inside out there are things that should be considered. It is up to the Dominant to look out for the Submissive, we are to insure their safety.

Normally after a session the submissive has a feeling of being relaxed, not caring, very much at home feeling, and very tired the submissive will be mentally drained. Let them rest take a nice hot bath, bath them talk to them.

Aftercare is very important, if you just spent an hour beating a submissive and you untie and just walk away then you are not a good Dominant, I use the word beating loosely by the way.

While it is true after a session some do want to be left alone for a while so their mind can process everything that just happened. During a session you should be in constant communication with the Submissive insuring they are in fact okay. Again you the Dominant are responsible for their safety.

Give them some time alone if they need, let them curl up in a ball and process everything, even take a nap.

After you should step in, hold and pet, talk to about everything that happened. Praise the Submissive for doing so well. Talk about any limits that were tested or pushed.

Even if there was no real impact play , and everything was mainly mental the impact on the body can still be devastating.

That is why I myself believe Aftercare should be Proactive, and not just used after play, more so if the submissive is a masochist.

Certain medications and hard impact play do not go well together. If your submissive suffers from any type of depression and is taking mind altering drugs then there must be communication. You as the Dominant may decide there is a better approach to playing or you may decide not to play at all. Again we are to look out for ours.

I am going to pass on a link that I think everyone should read and maybe it will explain a little more about your feelings after play.

http://subshelpingsubs.tripod.com/articles/subdrop.html

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Much Love

Vile

How Far Is To Extreme

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, animalistic, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Beatings, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, controlling, Deception, Discipline, Dominants, extreme, fuck hole, fucking, Kink, kinky, Master, Masters, oral, Pain, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, submissive on June 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Every submissive or slave is different, just as every Dominant is different. The world of BDSM has grown 110% over the last ten years, some for the good but for the most many have strayed away from the traditional D’s and M’s. Today it is mostly about kink. Unlike ten years ago it was not uncommon to see a couple who had been together , 5 10, 15 years or longer.

Today we have moved more into a kink world, nothing is considered long term, just like a vanilla relationship it is easier to pack up and move on to the next in hopes the grass is greener on the other side. When in fact most of the time it is not.

BDSM Bondage, Discipline , Sadomasochism , sadist , and masochist if you will. You can be a sadist and not be a dominant, I have met masochist who were not a slave nor were they submissive, and a D’s relationship would not be adventitious for them, because they are just looking for the pain aspect, could be a alpha outside the bedroom.

When someone is new to the lifestyle if they do not have the right guidance, one can stray off of their path without knowing. Meeting your first Dominant or sadist, because a sadist at times will tell you he is a dominant, as far as he knows he may think he is until it comes to the responsibility part of the relationship. After 3 months 6, or maybe a year you come to realize this is not for you, there is a bad taste in your mouth.

A sadist is just that, very few have the dominant side, the need to inflict pain, more so the need to see your pain through your eyes, that is the rush.

A new submissive or slave to the lifestyle will take most anything that is dished out and then some, be it verbal, mental and yes physical. They will take what ever just to please, hoping to find the one, but most of all acceptance.

Most have been a Slave or submissive all their life, but did not have a clue about the lifestyle or what they are. The sub, or slave just knows they are different, and most do not fit in the average circle of friends, and no one to talk to about their feelings. I have talked to slaves who had feelings at a very young age, early teens. Some find out at a young age then there are late bloomers in their 30’s 40’s and even 50’s.

Most men not just Dominants think with their cock, every 40 or 50 year old dominant wants a 18 year old slave. It can be fun for short term but I have seen very few last. I was the same way so I am speaking from experience. I found I was babysitting much of the time. I am not saying there are not those who are mature at that age, because there are.

I prefer an older slave, someone who has experienced life, someone who is mature. Now it is not to say that if I had not met Arianna it is possible I would of met someone much younger, although that is not what I was looking for in a relationship, we cannot help who we like of fall in love with.

A lot of younger subs or slave prefer older dominants those who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, those with experience. Would a 20 yr old submissive really consider a 20 year old dominant? maybe just maybe but at such a young age what does the dominant really know about the lifestyle, or how to implement structure in someones life, enforce rules, but most of all stay in control, and not be controlling. Just my thoughts you do not have to agree with me.

So you meet a New dominant for the first time. Dinner someplace public. Then you jump in the car and head for the nearest Motel. He ties you up, blindfolds you and the HELL starts, you have never been beating so bad in your life, fucked in every hole even if you had limits in place. The next day you can hardly walk, your black and blue, or worse something is broking. Okay lets say you suck it up, take about a week to heal, your going to either stay away or your going to try it one more time.

To most sadist if he is not looking for a relationship, he is just looking to put another notch in his belt, you were a piece of meat for the night, he busted a nut you went home crying. I am speaking from experience here I am not just running off at the mouth. To many are to eager to please, they could care less if they are pleased. To many are eager to meet someone and allow someone to use them. It many cases the after the fact is to late.

So just how far is to extreme? how far do you really need to go to find the one? better yet how much are you going to take?

I have said before have a list ready, your needs, your do nots, and your limits, and what you expect out of a relationship. Stick to the list do not bend from it. Once you give in your just another notch in someones belt. I know I had one belt I had to replace because there was no room for anymore notches.

Believe me when I say this you can get hurt, you can get hurt bad, and chances are you will not go to the police and explain why you let a stranger tie you up and beat you.

Just think, as your pulling into a denny’s how far is to extreme.

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Vile

What Is Expected From Us As Dominants

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Cherish, codependent, Collar, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, Giving Head, Honesty, Lie, Love, Loyal, Master, Masters, oral, oral sex, Pain, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, serve, session, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive on June 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are expected to be men of honor. We are expected to be truthful in all ways. We are expected to be in control and not controlling, and yes at times Humble.

Arianna will tell you I am a thinker, I think before acting, I look at choices and consequences, most of the time I am right. Then at times no matter how much planing you do things just do not go your way.

I had someone ask me not long ago, how are you always right, how is it you can never be wrong, this is true. My answer was I live by the book, even as Dominants we have to live by the outside world rules, no matter how much we disagree, there are rules that still has to be followed. When I was younger I tried to beat the system, any chance I got, I was trying to cut corners. Well surprise it does not work, you will get slapped every time.

How can we put in place rules and protocols and expect them to be followed, if we as Dominants do not do the same. We are looked up to, we are depended on, we are giving trust , and total devotion. mind and body.

If we cannot be truthful, and honest, how is it we come to expect the same from a submissive or slave. The first words out of our mouth when talking to a new submissive, is always be truthful, never lie to me.

If we cannot be truthful, and honest we have no right demanding the same from another. If you cannot be truthful, how does one come to have expectations from a submissive, how can we make demands.

We as Dominants have a creed, we are suppose to be different, and yes it is true we are of the few.  I talk to vanilla men daily and when my relationship comes up, they admit they would not want that type of responsibility. To much work, fuck that.

On the other hand how many of those men can snap their finger and their pants are being unzipped. How many of those men can tell their partners to go spread. How many of those men are told no to certain sex acts such as anal, or I don’t swallow. These are very unhappy men. Most vanilla men do not want the responsibility of taking care of the house, with the exception of those who are controlling, that is a far different story.

While sex is a small part of a D’s or M’s relationship it is there. The do’s and dont’s should of been worked out prior to entering a relationship and the do not’s should be respected, although at times I will try to push limits, which there are very few in our relationship, but those in place are respected. By respecting their limits is how we gain respect,and trust.

. It really blows my mind to hear one Dominant speak badly of another. Well he does not know what he is doing, or he is not real. I keep my mouth shut unless it is a clear case of abuse. We all have different rules, expectations, and needs. I myself run a very tight ship. I have tight rules in place, if one is broken we talk about it, if it is broken again then choices and consequences come into play. I am very fair. I have not expected Arianna to be able to memorize the rules, but she does read daily as a reminder, fuck I cannot even memorize them how could I expect her to. I have tight protocols in place public and private, Arianna acts the same if we are alone or company is present. The only change I allow is around her friends and family.

The Collar, Arianna’s collar is similar to an enternity collar. It was made in Arkansas, Houseofcollars.com the man did an awesome job, although you can see a few imperfection, that makes the collar a one of a kind. Arianna wears it daily it never comes off, this includes while at work, shopping, or visiting her parents. While they do know about our lifestyle they do not understand.

What Ariannas mother has told me, is she has seen a positive change, our relationship has been good for Arianna. I have tried to sit her mother down and explain everything, but as usual people only hear what they want to hear, but it is all good. I am welcomed in their home anytime, we text back and forth all the time.

We as Dominants are expected to keep our word. If we set rules in place, the rules should not be changed. I have allowed Arianna to speak up and she voiced her opinion about certain rules and how they would do better if changed or re-worded, the change for for her benefit. I welcome thoughts and concerns.

The worst punishment a slave can have is knowing they have broken a rule. The funny thing is they know, and this causes much hurt. In some cases this is punishment enough. Beating one is not the answer. If a rule is broken talk to find out what happened,

Most use safe words, during play, I do not, mainly because I still have that sadist buried deep inside. The other is I know Ariannas limitations and I do not push. I know what excites her, and what displeases her. I know what excites me as well. If you push one to far you can break that trust, once it is broken the slave can say everything is okay or forgiving but the amount of trust you had at one time is now gone.

Arianna a couple of times during play has said let me feel pain. I knew she really did not mean that. Those words were words she thought I wanted to hear. Until she met me she thought it was all about pain.

If your new to the lifestyle a safe word should be in place at least until you both get to know each other. Our main concern is that of our property. If you break your toy, you cannot play with it.

We should cherish what we have, and truly show we care, communication, aftercare after play, take an interest in their needs. Do things the slave or submissive likes to do.

The reward is truly unlimited.

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Vile

Do You Really Want To Live In Total Servitude / Solitude

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bond, Change, codependent, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, forced sex slaves, Health, life, Loyal, Master, Masters, molding your slave, morals, munchs, needy, non-consensual, Owned Slave, owning a slave, Patience, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, serve, slave, Stockholm syndrome, submissive, Total Servitude / Solitude, Total Solitude, TPE, training your slave on February 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Stockholm syndrome, Patricia Campbell Hearst, who was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army, but later joined them in their fight. Patty went through a form of Stockholm.

As one would living in a Master and Slave relationship. Total servitude, total solitude. No connection with the outside world. The only contact with anyone would be when your Master allowed, or perhaps when he had company over.

At one point I was seeking a total servitude slave, I searched for about six months, and I came across several slaves who were interested, but after giving it deeper thought, I began to look at both sides of the coin. The good and the Bad. The cost for one could really sky rocket, if the Master and Slave were not married, I am speaking of just healthcare alone. Between 600 and 900 a month alone for a private policy.

The side effects could be more dangerous though I do believe. Total solitude, being trained to fit one mans needs. At his service 24/7 be it sexual or domestic.

Arianna and I watched the movie The Pet last week, besides the ending and what the slaves were being used for Arianna really liked it. I explained that human trafficking was alive and well today. In the movie The Pet, which was a real disappointment to the BDSM community, was not only based on human trafficking, but the selling of organs. The Pets were being conditioned and brought to perfect health. Once achieved they were sold on the open market.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime stated that there were 2.4 million people around the world who are victims of human trafficking at any given time in 2012.

80 percent of the victims were involved in sexual services.

The UNODC also stated that human trafficking is a $32 Billion market.

Living as a Slave in total solitude, in service to one, would be much like Stockholm syndrome. In a short time, I am speaking a few weeks to a month, I believe you would begin to lose some of your senses. You would begin to lose the ability to think on your own. You would have to be told every move to make, even cooking or how to do laundry.

If you just take the time to sit back and think of how a relationship such as this would work. It may seem fine for a short period, but being in contact with one one, being trained, and fully conditioned to serve. Even after a short time if company did come over, to the slave it would be like no one is even there, your only care would be your master and owner.

The Pet, although it was just a movie, the way it was explained, Any man or woman could be forced to sever as a slave, but after a short time it would become willingly. You begin to lose senses, the ability to care, in some cases even think. Your only purpose or care would be to serve,and serve without question.

I do not want you to think that a lifestyle as such is not real in today’s times, I can almost promise you it is. Just as women being sold into slavery.

This all sounds bad but it gets worse. The Master and Slave are together for lets say a period of five years. The Master becomes ill, and passes away. Where does this leave the slave? How does the slave now function on her own? How does the slave begin to provide for herself?

I have heard through the grapevine , that a Master would choose another master if he should become ill or perhaps be in some kind of accident. The other Master would then step in, and take over. I have only heard of this I have never seen it first hand. I am not sure if I would or could trust someone else enough to take care of my property.

So living in a Master / Slave total servitude / Solitude relationship. In just a period of weeks the slave would go through some major transformations. You would begin to lose your thought process. You would begin to not care, and deeper into the relationship it would be hard for the slave to comprehend the slaves surroundings. Your only purpose in life would be the one who owned. Again this is just my opinion.

Those who have gone through deprivation of some type, for more than several hours would suffer from the same disorders, I do not think the effects would be long term, but after only a couple of hours you begin to lose some of your senses. After being in a deprivation tank longer than a couple of hours, the slave would need some major aftercare. Just to bring back to reality.

Pretty Interesting.

Consensual Slavery.

n BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is usually entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Non-Consensual Slavery

Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work.[1] Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. Historically, slavery was institutionally recognized by many societies; in more recent times slavery has been outlawed in most societies but continues through the practices of debt bondage, indentured servitude, serfdom, domestic servants kept in captivity, certain adoptions in which children are forced to work as slaves, child soldiers, and forced marriage.[2] There are more slaves in the early 21st century than at any previous time but opponents hope slavery can be eradicated within 30 years.[3]

Slavery predates written records and has existed in many cultures.[4] The number of slaves today remains as high as 12 million[5] to 27 million.[6][7] Most are debt slaves, largely in South Asia, who are under debt bondage incurred by lenders, sometimes even for generations.[8] Human trafficking is primarily used for forcing women and children into sex industries.[9]

In pre-industrial societies, slaves and their labour were economically extremely important. Slaves and serfs made up around three-quarters of the world’s population at the beginning of the 19th century.[10]

In modern mechanised societies, there is less need for sheer massive manpower; Norbert Wiener wrote that “mechanical labor has most of the economic properties of slave labor, though … it does not involve the direct demoralizing effects of human cruelty.

I was speaking with a Dom at a munch recently , and he was telling me he was looking for a Master / Slave consensual and non-consensual relationship. When I asked him to elaborate on the subject in more detail, he told me he could not because he did not know me well enough. As of now he is single, but his target is to have four slaves living at home.

The fact is, while in a Master and Slave enter a relationship, even if not total servitude or solitude. The slave goes through a slight transformation. The slave comes to know she only has one to answer to. Great care must be giving for those who work. The slave needs to know it is okay for a supervisor to give orders. I am speaking from experience. The slaves world only revolves around her owner. The slave becomes dependent upon her owner. Great care must be giving, not to take advantage of what has been giving. The slave becomes codependent, again great care must be giving. The amount of trust giving is probably a unheard of number.

This is why it is very important to allow the slave to interact with others. Like munch’s friends and most importantly family. Family should always come first no matter what. A golden rule never try to come between a slave and her mother, it will not work, no matter how fucked up you think the mother is., again speaking from experience.

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Vile

Living in Total Solitude

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, bdsm, Consensual, control, Dominants, Fantasy, Giving Head, Master, Masters, munchs, non-consensual, oral, oral sex, proactive aftercare, provocative, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, serve, sex, sex slaves, slave, submissive, Total Slavery, Total Solitude on February 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

At one time I was looking for a slave who wanted to live in total solitude. Little to no contact with the outside world. Only able to leave the house when I wanted to take her out.

To be nude twenty four hours a day, no rights, no say, no opinion. Just for my service and my service only.

Now your thinking I am really crazy, or you have never heard of total solitude within the lifestyle. The fact is it is alive and well. It could very well be a neighbor next door.

I was really pretty serious in my search for sometime,  I really looked diligently for about six months and spoke with about six potential slaves who were seeking total solitary. Then things came up in life and I had to put things on hold for a little while. Then I met Arianna.

Recently Arianna and I were at a munch, and we met a single dominant who was seeking the same thing, total solitude. He wants a consensual/ non consensual relationship. Now try to figure that one out. To top it off his number of slave to have is four. A nice even number I suppose.

One thing I never understood is why a man or dominant would need more than one. More than one slave who fully serves. I am not speaking of a submissive, I am talking about a slave. A friend of mine and I were talking and I was trying to understand him, when asked the question of why more than one slave, his answer was to spice things up.

Some fifteen years ago I met a Dom who lived in Tampa Florida who owned seven or eight.Again I just do not understand unless maybe it is just an ego thing.

Total solitude, the only interaction with other people was that is allowed. The only talking is that is allowed, clothes, bathing, eating, and even sex on demand, no questions asked.

Total solitude can have its benefits, but it can have its setbacks as well.

Positive effects

There are many benefits to spending time alone, freedom is considered to be one of the benefits of solitude. The constraints of others will not have any effect on a person who is spending time in solitude, therefore giving the person more of a scope to his actions. With increased freedom, a person’s choices are less likely to be affected by exchanges with others. [8]

A person’s creativity can be sparked when given freedom. Solitude can increase freedom and moreover, freedom from distractions has the potential to spark creativity. In 1994, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found that adolescents who cannot bear to be alone often fall short of enhancing creative talents. [8]

Another proven benefit to time given in solitude is the development of self. When a person spends time in solitude from others, he may experience changes to his self-concept. This can also help a person to form or discover his identity without any outside distractions. Solitude also provides time for contemplation, growth in personal spirituality, and self-examination. In these situations, loneliness can be avoided as long as the person in solitude knows that they have meaningful relations with others.

A meaningful relationship would be with a slaves Master. This is where proactive Aftercare would come into role, being consistent in the lifestyle.

So the Dominant is looking for, four slaves to live in total solitude. This sounds really good, a lot of fun, different pussy every night. Unlimited cock sucking, how much better could it get.

The first thing is finding two women who can live together, that is hard, but to find four women, four slaves, Yea I am thinking not. It is not impossible, but next to it.

Then the Dominant finds his self supporting four slaves and not just one. Clothes, food, housing, and the most important medical. Has anyone priced what medical insurance would cost for one. Now your paying for four. Who in their right mind would want that kind of responsibility. So if you were able to find medical for each at a cost of 800 dollars a month, times four that comes to 3200 a month, and around 38.000 a year. That is just medical, that does not include any co-pays,  that does not include any prescriptions, so roughly 40.000 a year just in medical.

The other thing is, there has to be a number one, one of the four has to be number one, she has to keep things in order while the master is away, but at the same time all four have to be treated equal. A master cannot show any favoritism towards anyone slave, nor can the master take sides. Once a fight breaks out the master has to let the slaves work things out, or he can step in and punish everyone. This is keeping it equal.

Total solitude also has its down fall, it can be unhealthy, and can cause great mental distress, if not looked after properly.

Negative effects

Too much solitude is not always considered beneficial. Many of the negative effects have been observed in prisoners. Often, prisoners spend much time in solitude, where their behavior may worsen.[9]

Negative effects of solitude may also depend on age. Elementary age school children who experience frequent solitude may react negatively.[11] This is largely because, often, solitude at this age is not something chosen by the child.[11] Solitude in elementary age kids may occur when the kids don’t know how to interact socially with others so they prefer to be alone, causing shyness or social rejection.[11]

While teenagers are more likely to feel lonely or unhappy when not around others, they are also more likely to have a more enjoyable experience with others if they have had time alone first. However, teenagers who frequently spend time alone don’t have as good of a global adjustment as those who balance their time of solitude with their social time.

Is it wrong to take a slave in, who wishes to live in total solitude? Yes and No. If the Master is willing to give 100%, stay loyal to his property, take care of the slaves needs, including health. To care for in all that factors into a long term relationship. I believe this would work if both were committed to a long term commitment.

A slave is much different than a submissive we all know this. A submissive only submits on their time. A submissive has the ability to say no. A submissive can impose limits. A submissive can voice opinions.

A slave has no rights. The only rights are those giving. A slave has no say in any of the family affairs. A slave has no limits, eh with in reason. A slave submits at the snap of a finger, without question. If a slave has a master who is looking out for the slaves best interest then all is good. All we as dominants want is total self improvement. We as dominants are to give total support.. We as dominants thrive to see our slave progress in a positive manner.

As pleasure

Solitude does not necessarily entail feelings of loneliness. For example, in religious contexts, some saints preferred silence and found immense pleasure in their uniformity with God. Buddha attained enlightenment through uses of meditation, deprived of sensory input, bodily necessities, and external desires, including social interaction. The context of solitude is attainment of pleasure from within, rather than seeking it in the external world. In psychology, introverted individuals may require spending time away from people to recharge. Those who are simply socially apathetic might find it a pleasurable environment in which to occupy oneself with solitary tasks.

As punishment

Isolation in the form of solitary confinement is a punishment or precaution used in many countries throughout the world for prisoners accused of serious crimes, those who may be at risk in the prison population, those who may commit suicide, or those unable to participate in the prison population due to sickness or injury.

Having a slave who wants to live as a total solitude slave has its ups and down, positive and negative. I myself would really have to think long and hard if I was approached with someone seeking that type of life.

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Vile

Proactive Aftercare

Posted in Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, control, Conversation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, ethics, Health, Love, Master, needy, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, sex, slave, Sub Drop, sub-space, submissive, TPE, Trust on February 10, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who are submissive are very needy, I believe slaves are more needy on many different levels. Being proactive in a 24/7 live in relationship is really important. I do believe it takes a lot more interaction and communication than a vanilla relationship. I know I keep bringing this up but if I am really anal about something, I feel the need.

When most say aftercare, the term is used mainly after play, be it just intense bondage, hard spanking, humiliation, you get the picture, but the fact is aftercare should be an on going process play or no play.

The needy is much different than a regular relationship. While I do not still understand how the neediness factors in with subs and slaves, if you are in a D’s relationship it is more noticeable.

I like the word Proactive, the after care is on going, never ending, and along with such care comes a great deal of responsibility. I cannot speak enough on being consistent, that is something that took me many years to master, listening also plays a huge factor , along with much needed communication.

I have said a hundred times that sub-drop can be prevented, and I truly believe this. Sub-drop does accrue mainly while in a long distance relationship, or when two are not 24/7. It is not to say even if you are 24/7 that it cannot happen, but if you are paying your sub or slave the attention they need, the chances of sub-drop are indeed very slim.

Sub-drop the opposite of sub-space can last anywhere from Ten minutes to a couple of days or more. Again the drop happens mostly when two are not 24/7.

This is a Time when the Dominant should step up to the plate and be who he is, and nothing less. If you are not 24/7 you really have a lot on your hands, and may end up spending hours on the phone, until they have calmed down. Sub-space can be just as bad as a drop, and the same attention should be giving.

At times after real intense play a submissive or slave may want to be left alone for a short time, so they are able to gather their thoughts, and figure out their surroundings, before talking or being held.

After care is looked over way to often, as many dominants really do not see the need, some believe, some do not.

The bottom line is, if you take care of your property, and run a well managed care program, the relationship will be unlike any other.

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Vile

My Relationship is not a Democracy

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, and Respect, bdsm, Bdsm events, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Health, Master, munchs, owning a slave, Patience, Punishment, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, Spanking, submissive, TPE, Vanilla on February 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We attended a Munch this past Friday, and I was somewhat appalled at the way some people, not only Submissive’s or Slaves were acting, I found it to be total disrespectful.

The group is called MAST Masters and Slaves Together. The Dominant who runs or Host the much is really okay, although him and I have never seen eye to eye. A slave made some bad comments about me, and instead of coming to me, he took everything to heart. If it had not been for others in the community who truly knew me, the outcome could of been much worse. Now I think we just tolerate each other more than anything. The first MAST Tish and I attended he was very respectful to me, but you could still feel the tension.

What I get tired of is others telling me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. This really gets on my nerves to no end. With other things going on right now yesterday I just about blew a fuse. At the munch I pretty much Stayed quite, although at times I did jump in and give my opinion. Instead of not speaking my mind, I held it in and it was a slow burning fuse for a couple of days.

Here is the thing, I am not talking about Subs right now. This is about Slaves, more so my Slave. My slave is my business, my slave is my property. My slave is my partner. My slave is my bitch.

My relationship is not a Democracy. There are no votes. Although at times I may ask for Tish’s / Arianna’s opinion, and I would respect what she had to say, and I would listen as well.

I run my house, I am head cheese. I am the man, and no one else is going to tell me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. I find it very disrespectful, when another Dominant tries to stick his nose in someplace where it does not belong.

Well now what Volume book of BDSM did you get your information from? I have yet to find a fucking book that says BDSM 101. If someone has seen this book I would like a copy. A dominant telling me what I should and should not be doing, and he cannot even run his own house. Really?

Tish and I have a very good relationship, many in the lifestyle do not agree with a micromanagement relationship. I know this type of relationship is not healthy, it can be if it is done long term. Short term can be very harmful.

Okay so when you agree to a relationship, and a Dominant tells a slave he can meet her needs, but in midstream you change the rules, which is more unhealthy?

Tish and I fit like a glove, Wow I found someone who has the same needs. Is micromanagement easy? Not on your life, it is probably one of the most difficult relationships in the community. It is a lot of responsibility, and the days can be very long. I am not complaining, I thrive having a challenge.

While at the Munch others were speaking to me about punishment. Well the truth is I have only punished Tish one time in a three month period. I normally do not spank but I felt this was the best way to get my point across, and she had to complete a task while being spanked.

When I made the comment Tish is the most compliant slave I have ever met or known, I was asked the question where is the challenge in her? Does there have to be a challenge? I would think not.

I did not even want to punish Tish, I felt very bad before, during and more so after. The thing is, if I did not follow through, where would her respect level of been for me?

At the munch there is one other Dom, him and I have about the same idea as far as how a house should be ran. He wants four slaves who wants to live in total solitude. Think about it four women under the same roof.  So now he has to put a roof over five people, food for five people. Provide medical for four people, not to mention all the Tampons he would have to by.

I may not agree with how some treat their Subs or slaves, but you know what? It is non of my fucking business, and to tell you the truth I could careless. If something works for them then so be it.

To come to me and tell me I am doing something wrong, man please.

I do share somethings, there are somethings that are more private that I do not share, and I will never share. Just as it takes a very special slave to be with me, it takes a very special Dom to be with Tish / Arianna. There is not anyone who knows her the way I do. There is not anyone who can even come close or could even imagine the care she needs, just in her daily life. No one could imagine the communication that is needed on a daily basis. No one could understand her emotionally, and meet her needs. More so the aftercare that is needed on a daily basis, when play is not even evolved.

Now to the scary part. A slave comes to a Dominant, and says here I am do what you need to do, I will give you everything. I want you to control my life. You can do to me what you want, I will lay on my back and spread at the snap of a finger. Even for most slaves not to mention submissive’s, that is a lot to give up.

The key is finding a Dominant who is going to put the slaves best interest first, and not take advantage of her. A dominant who is going to think things out before acting. A dominant who is going to think about choices and consequences.

My relationship is not a Democracy, and it never will be. I run my ship and Tish follows, but she chooses to follow, she needs to follow. This does not mean she is weak, she is far from weak. Tish is very smart. At work she has a great deal of responsibility. Tish is also very beautiful, she has a body built for sin.

Many people who follow my blog do not agree with who and what I am. I understand that. I would hope that everyone would not agree with me. More so want to submit in the ways I need. I am me and I refuse to change who or what I am.

It is Tish and Vile.  You take care of your Bitch and ill take care of mine.

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Vile