Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It is the first installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM). Originally self-published as an ebook and a print-on-demand, publishing rights were acquired by Vintage Books in March 2012.
There is much that has been left out. I read a little bit of the first book, and if your into reading a fantasy book then good, but it seems to many have taking it from a fantasy to reality, and not really having a clue.
The physical contact when it comes to BDSM is only about 5%, the other 95% is mental. To be able I want to word this correctly , to be able to be a Dominant you have to be able to get into the submissive’s or slaves head. You have to be able to stimulate their mind.We have to get to know the submissive or slave inside out. We need to know what truly makes them tick. We need to understand their emotions, we need to understand when they are having a bad day, we need to understand that when they are not communicating we need to communicate to put the submissive at ease. We need to make the submissive know we as Dominants will make everything alright.
I am not sure where or how the depression aspect plays a part, but I do know from my past experience most who are slaves or submissive suffer from some type of depression. I could not make this statement if I had only met two or three slaves , I could not make this statement if I had only met 9 or 10 submissive’s Over the past twenty years or so I have met hundreds. Most were very dear friends. Then there were the handful that I used, even then I knew something was not right but I did not care enough to even think that something maybe wrong.
To really get to know the submissive we have to take a walk, we have to be able to get into the brain, we so to speak. We have to be able to open every door at each section and have a full understanding of what makes the submissive tick. We have to know what makes them think the way they do, what makes the submissive like or dislike the things they do. We have to understand their limits , we also have to understand when it is time to stop.
Most who are looking for the one, will bend over backwards to please. Most will take what ever you have to dish out just to please, but if your not inside their head you have no idea the amount of damage you may be doing, and they may have no idea either, until the after. I believe this is when sub-drop is most noticeable. I believe this is when the depression really kicks in. For the most I myself believe sub-drop is preventable through proper care. Most of the time when sub-drop is present it is because the two do not live together, or the submissive is not getting the attention they need. Sub-drop does not always occur after play, you can experience sub-drop even if your alone.
If you meet a submissive who is on medication for depression or any other illness it is very important to find out why they are taking it, what its for, then you research the different meds they are taking.
I know for instance Arianna has limitations when it comes to play, so I stay away from those gray areas. I know exactly how far I can push and I know exactly when to stop. We as dominants never want to push one to that limit.
So its like you knock on the forehead you open the door and you begin your travels, your going to walk through many doors, and your going to spend a lot of time in each room, so you are able to gain information, you will want to know what makes each room tick, what makes them think the way they do.
This is why I preach to those who are new to the lifestyle if you start out having sex then that is all you have. If you do not live together you are not grasping the true means of living a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Your getting a couple of hours a week or month in a motel room, or the dominant is coming over to your apartment. You are experiencing the sexual side and nothing more. The truth is there is still another 95% you have not touched.
Being a Dominant is not about barking orders, it is not about suck my cock or get on your back, it is not about anal training while your on your webcam , or sending video with your phone. That is not BDSM
Breaking down the four letters BDSM which you probably already know but many are missing the one word that means the most. B= Bondage. Sado= someone who enjoy giving pain, someone who enjoys humiliation. Humiliation comes in many shapes and forms. Someone who many times will push your linits to far and not really care as long as they get off. Masochism = someone who enjoys receiving pain someone who enjoys humiliation, someone who enjoys being used and pushed past their limits. I am sure there are things I left out but the one word I left out, is the one thing you are or most are missing out on D = Discipline
Disciple also comes in many forms and again it is not about barking orders, it is not about making up rules as you go, it is not about punishing, in fact if you the Dominant are in full control, punishment is far and few. The last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule, or disappoint you. That is the greatest humiliation they can experience.
D= Discipline does not have to mean punishing you, because you rolled his socks up wrong, or you forgot to send a video of your anal training, or fucking your ass with a dildo so he can jack off. D= Discipline means the Dominant is in full control. He is in control and not controlling. He is in full control of his daily life, he is drama free, he is problem free. If the Dominant is not in full control of his life, how in the fuck can he control you. Telling you to suck his cock, or prepare your ass to be fucked is not Discipline.
Arianna met a Dominant one time and he told her he wanted to go back to his place so he could start her training by sucking his cock. She did decline his most gracious offer.
Those four letters BDSM run so much deeper, those four letters have a definition that never ends, because I do not believe you can ever learn everything or experience everything. The learning aspect of those four letters never end.
Now to all of you 50 shades wannabes or you dudes who just want to abuse and use, or you are married and your wife wont suck your cock so you find someone who will.
I am living the DREAM I live with my Slave, I am served by my slave emotionally and physically. My slave who is my wife is my best friend, we actually communicate. I include the one letter and I am consistent on a daily basis. The letter D= Discipline runs deep.
I seldom drink the same type of coffee in the morning. Arianna keeps a variety for me. Almost two years now when I open the door she is kneeling, her hands extended with a huge grin on her face because she is happy to see me. On the nights I get home late my clothes are laid out for me. When I shower she is kneeling by the tub, once I get out she drys me off. There is not a day that goes by she does not ask me if she can suck my cock. She does not know the words NO or I CANT. She thrives to give up control, she is always thinking of ways to give up control. Arianna has the need to serve. All because of that one letter D= Discipline.
Many of you who are submissive or baby girls the baby girls are the worst. Many of you jump from Dom to Dom, hunting and searching you think sucking cock is your way of finding the rainbow. You think this way because you believe everything you hear , or your just that desperate. Why would you settle for less just to have someone a few hours a week or a month. If you are not living together you are not gaining anything.
Having a plan to make that move is different, even if your long distance and getting to know each other but then you decide okay one of us has to move. That is real , that is how you tell someone really cares about you.
There are very few blogs here on wordpress that are positive. Most is just about bitching or how much they miss their daddy. I did not get a call on my birthday , or I sent a text 3 days ago and have not heard anything. I get to see my daddy and it has been three months. It is really depressing, and I just fucking wonder why you want to put yourself through this, why take this type of mental abuse.
I get up in the morning with Arianna , I turn the coffee pot on and we drink coffee together, but I think many of you get up and you drink a cup of stupid, just to get your day going, a cup of drama extra strong, a cup of drag me through the mud. Let me have a cup of depression to get my day started…
I am not pointing fingers at anyone so do not take it to heart, but why in the fuck would you put yourself through such abuse? Why allow someone to come in and step all over you and walk out while they are throwing you a towel to clean up and say I will see you next month. I really do not get it, because all of you could be living the dream.
Most of you Baby Girls are seeing men who are married, that I do not understand. Because you have a 99.9% chance of him not leaving his wife, you are there because there are things his wife will not do. Then your only getting his side of the story, maybe you should go see her, give her a call to see if things are so bad, because if they were so bad he would of already left. She is the one who had his children, she has helped him buy the house and cars, she is the one who is cooking for him, she is the one doing his laundry, and yes she is still fucking him. Why would you disrespect her? What has she done to you? Why would you want to destroy what she has worked so hard to build? It is not a question will you get caught it is when, and I can tell you it wont be pretty, because when you try to destroy her world she will destroy yours. Why put her through his mess, his fuck ups? She has done nothing to you, and you could really care less. If your Dominant or Master or Daddy really cares about you, he could pack up and leave, money or no money, I know because I did it. I lost everything, but in the end left with nothing I was happy.
If he is fucking around on his wife, do not think for one minute you are the only one he is fucking. Do not think if he does leave his wife he will not fuck around on you. Think about that.
I am living the DREAM and if your willing to put just a little effort into your life you can as well. If you 50 shades of grey Doms stop thinking with the wrong head you could as well.