I am far from perfect and I will be the first to admit , I do not know everything. What I share is my past 20 plus years in the lifestyle and as many active in the local community.
I have met thousands in the lifestyle , from Sadist who scared the fuck out of me , to totally wicked Domme’s, submissive’s of all kinds real and fake, slaves with different levels of submission, and then my relationships.
I have been with a Masochist I could not make cry , who fed off of humiliation , I have been a Daddy Dom as well. I have lived a D’s Lifestyle , but for some reason I was never complete.
I have had successful relationships that ended well, and I have had relationships that crashed and burned , due to my actions. I take full responsibility for the relationships not working because I did not think clearly or I used bad judgement. I am not going to put the blame on others when it was I who fucked up.
Most of the time when a D’s or M’s relationship falls apart it is the subs fault. The bitch was not real, she was just playing games. She was not a true submissive, she was not a slave, she could not, would not follow rules.
Now the above could be true , because there are some money grabbing women out there who are looking for a free ride , but it makes me think , how many times can someone lay on their back to get a car payment made, or to be a kept woman. There has to come when it just slaps them in the face. Maybe they think that little of themselves.
I have seen it I have done it , I bit off more than I could chew , and it just turned my whole fucking life upside down, and I would not give up. Well!!!! At least not until I could not stand anymore , maybe I enjoyed self punishment.
I have done this before , entered a relationship for security purposes , yea and you guessed it , that does not work either just for a short time.
A D’s or M’s relationship requires a lot of time. You are investing so much , but lets take a look at another way we are investing time.
Lets say you the Dominant buys a 1969 Carmaro Z28. You bought just the hull of the car . No doors , no hood, no bumpers, no interior , no glass, no nothing , what you have is a hull.
So what are you going to do now? You are going to rebuild it from scratch. You are going to make sure everything is right , your going to make sure everything is complete and not done half ass.
It is the same when you enter a D’s or M’s relationship. You are going to build from the bottom up to meet your needs. You are going to cherish and like me you will stand back and look and think to yourself , man look at what I have done. If your willing to invest all that time , why would you not follow the two main rules in life. Choices and consequences , those two thing will either make you or break you , if you break you will crash and burn.
So you have Anastasia Steele, who just happens to be a virgin , then you have the Sadistic Christian Grey who can only get off on rough sex , which I can relate to. i can also relate on being able to channel anger into positive outlets. Controlling my anger took years to learn how to control , but there are still things that can set it off but that is really very seldom and never towards my property. You will gain so much more out of life if you are in control of not only yourself but your surroundings.
Anastasia a 21 year old naive woman who meets a Dominant who has sadist tendencies. The result Anastasia walks into a world she has never known or perhaps never should of been introduced to that world.
The truth is very few sadist will take on someone who has zero experience in that type of the lifestyle. Second most sadist are not Dominants , it is usually one or the other. You can be a Daddy but not be a dominant. Every Dominant is different , every Dominant has different traits , every Dominant has different needs in their partner.
That is why when a Dominant is single and looking , he is looking for someone specific. The Dominant already has a general idea as far as what he is looking for.
The movie Fifty Shades was based mainly on sex , again nothing wrong with that. What happens is those who have no idea what the lifestyle is about and they see the movie , it gives most the wrong idea about those who are in the lifestyle. Here is the kicker , I have had two women send me a message and ask me if Christian Grey Raped Anastasia. So if there are two I am sure many more are thinking the same way , and under the circumstances I would tend to agree.
So every movie has a behind the scenes , movies have parts that are never seen, the public does not have a clue.
So behind the scenes , being a Dominant is no easy task. A Dominant is on call 24/7 , it is not a 9 to 5 gig.
What Fifty Shades failed to show and yes it is just a movie but if your going to try and mock a lifestyle you need to get somethings right.
It did not show the training that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the communication that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the care , or the emotional side of the submissive , like it did in the movie The Secretary.
There is a line that one can cross when it comes to the lifestyle , the broken line would be abuse, and rape. One in five women in their lifetime will be raped, maybe abuse is just as high. One thing that is very troubling very few are ever reported, and the numbers go even higher if a female is in the lifestyle and meets a new Dominant and is raped.
Behind the scenes , the structure , the rules , the protocols , and yes the punishment.
One thing I do not understand is how so many people could take a movie that is Fiction to heart. Many men will take this fiction movie to heart and the hunt is on.
Fifty Shade Of Grey is Fiction it is not real. If your truly interested in our world do your research , meet and talk with people..
Do you really want to live your life in a Fiction state of mind.