Archive for the and Respect Category

Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, anal sex, and Respect, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Change, codependent, Collar, Collared Slave, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, Drama, emotional, Emotions, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, fucking, Honesty, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, Master, needy, problems, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock, sucking dick, Train your slave, training your slave, Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This happens all the time, I also here this all the time. The last was maybe I am not the Master for her or she needs more and I cannot give more.

Every Submissive is different , every Slave is different. Their minds, their thoughts , their needs, their actions. Each has a different level of needs. Some are real emotional , some are very needy, some become fully dependent on their Master, while others function very well outside of the home. Some need 24 hour care while some do not. Some need stricter rules, guidelines, protocols, while others do not.

Some act bratty , while most are very docile. Most are very quite and some are very out spoken.  Most are very Compliant , while some need a little more work.

Men who do not have a clue think owning a slave is about her sucking cock or just spreading her legs. Tying the slave up and just beating her ass until she cannot walk, and to a new submissive or slave these actions are exceptable. no questions asked until they start talking to other slave.

The key is getting to know the slave, knowing them as a person not just in the lifestyle. Knowing about their interest, hobby’s, the movies they enjoy, music. The foods they like. The Dominant should know the slave inside out.

Once this is achieved then you move on to different levels speaking about the lifestyle, a week or maybe more may of gone by before you should get into the kinks.

Let me tell you something, if you meet someone on line and after 20 minutes or so it turns to sex, he wants one thing and one thing only. That is your mouth or what is between your legs, and nothing more. The New Dom may hang on to you for eh 3 months 6 months but he will grow tired of you pretty fast. You will find out you will spend 90% of your time on your knees sucking dick, another 5% texting, and the other 5% being ignored

When another Dominant complains about how his slave is not compliant I just shake my head. If this is the case his game plan was way off from the start.

What rules you gave your last slave may not be the rules your new slave needs, or guideline as well as protocols. That is why it is very important to get to know your slave as a person , you have to become best friends. Because you are about to enter uncharted waters.

We as Dominants are looked up to, we are suppose to be leaders, we guide we share tons of information, but most we have to earn and gain the trust of the slave. We as Dominants should be able to adapt to most situations. Sometimes we may have to bend a little if we think a slave may be compatible in most areas that interest us.

The Slave will adapt to their new home, and most will adapt freely without question. We need to only provide a few things. Honesty , be truthful, teach and train , communication, and security. The slave will adapt.

Rules are put into place for improvement, rules are for the betterment of the slave. If more than half of your rules as a slave are about sex, what is it you are getting out of it ? How is you must worship my cock for the betterment of you ?

It is not that the slave is not compliant, the Dominant did not go into the relations with the right game plan, by the time you start to argue, yell call each other names it is way to late. You the Dominant has lost the game, pick up your duffel bag and move on.

You also hear it is the slaves fault , that bitch would not listen, I had no control over her. Ha that one word CONTROL I had no control over her. Now whose fault is that, certainly not the slaves, who was in charge? Who was the leader the Slave?

Another factor is if a slave enters a new relationship but she is afraid to end it, she will do things just to upset the dom, not follow rules back talk, act up, until the Dom has taken all he can. Still the slave is not to blame. I do suppose some could be just total bitches and give you a run for your money, push your buttons to see how far they can go. It is still up to the Dominant to remain in control, and stay in control.

If you have a bad temper, you scream, yell degrade when angry , how does that look to your slave. After all when you first met you painted a picture of total bliss, an island of peace, a paradise.

Some Slaves want to be broking , taken down to the lowest level of life and brought back up. I can tell you 10 years ago I may have been up to such a task but today nah not a chance. Before I met Arianna I was posed that question. I want you to break me. That is a great deal of responsibility  and I was not up to the task nor did I want to.

So when I hear the words I cannot control my slave or she is not compliant, I start asking questions, I get the same old answers, she is not real, she is just into head games , she is a joke to the lifestyle. Well it is not the slaves fault.

You the Dominants needs to be in control from the minute you speak your first words. You the Dominant sets the pace, you set the rules.

You cannot meet a slave on the first date and give her the almighty 128 rules and a collar. I see some old Doms using the 128 rules that some kid wrote 25 years ago, You must worship my cock, PLEASE.

Let me tell you something Arianna has 25 rules, she adds little things to her list frequently not rules but task. Every night when she ask permission to enter the bed she reads her rules then we talk, we talk about anything and everything. Last night was different we were laying in bed and I asked her what was on her mind. She said I thought we would go over the rules together, I looked kinda of confused and she handed me her phone, that is where her rules are. I said the first word of a rule and she was able to speak the whole rule without reading, and I just went down the line.

I have never told her she had to remember each one but to look at as a reference to read daily. That is how much she truly cares 25 rules recited almost word for word. Some of the rules are a paragraph long. In the rules I gave I explained everyone, I went into great detail about each rule, and she could recite each and everyone. I was in total shock, but I was proud.

If your Slave or Submissive is not compliant, look at your game.

Image I love this pic

Vile

A Comment I posted Last Year To A dear Friend

Posted in abuse, and Respect, anger, Arianna, Asian, Baggage, bdsm, Bond, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, communication, control, controlling, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, slave, submissive on April 8, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I speak so much about abuse not only in the lifestyle, but in the vanilla world as well. Abuse turns to confusion, and your really not sure who you can turn to. It can be mental, verbal, and the worst is when it turns physical. One can only be beat down so much before nothing is left. All hope, all your self esteem, then your heart turns cold.

I have seen it many times when a Dominant brings a submissive or slave into their fucked up world. Mental problems, financial, and the best is problems with the EX. The Ex still runs their lives.

This is not a real Dominant. To be a Dominant you must be in full control of your life and surroundings. A married Dominant is not in control of his life, if he was he would be home fucking his wife, being in control of his little family world.

I had problems a couple of years ago. I stepped back to clear my head. I stayed to myself while getting my life back on track. I never gave it a thought to bring someone else into my problems. I slowly worked everything out, and when I was ready, I began my search.

This time was going to be different. I was not going to settle for less. I needed someone to complete me. It was going to be my way or no way. I wanted a true slave. I needed that control.

In a year and a half I dated probably 50 or 60 women. I carried my notes. I had a list made out of what I was seeking. I shared, I said read, and each time they would shake there head no. I did not give up. I knew what I wanted in a slave. I needed that connection. It was no longer about sex, it was the connection. We must be able to be friends first.

I run a strict and well structured home. I control everything. Look up the definition of everything. I micromanage everything, look up the definition of micromanage. It is about me.

I did not demand respect I earned it. I did not ask Arianna to be my slave. Arianna asked me if I would take her as my slave. I do not abuse Arianna in anyway. I give her my full respect, I give her support, structure, and most of all loyalty. Arianna knows no matter what she comes first, nothing else matters. Arianna knows I will drop what I am doing at a moments notice. Arianna knows she can fully trust me, she knows I would never harm her.

To be a Dominant is to be in full control. To be a Dominant is taking full responsibility for someone else.

I stand by my words if you are married and you are fucking around behind your wife’s back you are a piece of shit, you are nothing but scum. You use women to do things your little wife wont do, or your to chicken to bring up the lifestyle. Or you do not have the balls god gave you. You may feel guilty about face fucking your wife so you find another. You are scum, the lowest of life. Do you not think about the possibility of taking something home, and passing it on, or maybe passing something on to another submissive.

It is not fair to bring another into your little fucked up world. Get your head out of your ass and be a man.

Why bring someone else down to your level, the heartache, the confusion, and yes the abuse. Mental scars do not go away bruises do, verbal scars do not go away, bruises do.

So I wrote this response to my dear friend Butterfly, who was going through some hard times. I like her and not only because she is Asian. she is smart and beautiful, with a tender soul. Much Love Girl.

There is someone for everyone, many times we let our emotions overrun our logic. That usually turns to disaster, but before we can recognize it, we are already caught up in a tangled web, and we find it hard to break free.

We want so much for this to be the One we have been searching for, and we fight to make it work, only to find ourselves devoured in a cocoon, and it is too late.

We are there, nowhere to run, it is dark, and confusing. We have been brought down by someone else, we are not part of their world, their problems and insecurities, their anger issues. Things are taking out on us when we did nothing.

Yet we hope, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We are reassured that things will get better this is only temporary it will pass, and we will be happy and together.

Insanity is making the same mistake over and over expecting different results.

Then we break free, but the one is still dragging us down. We fight and struggle for air it is so hard to breath, mass confusion, we are withdrawn into their little world.

Once we see the light and we walk through the door, we begin to shut it, the door is oh so heavy, it weighs 5 tons. We push, and push but it seems like it will not close. Then somehow we gather the strength and courage and again we push, and push.

The door closes.

Our back to the door we are breathing so hard, our palms resting against the door, our eyes closed. Yes I made it, I am free of their clutches, they can no longer control me. I am me I am strong, you are weak, leave me alone.

I have struggled with you for so long and you have brought me to the depths of your hell, wanting me to feel like you.

I am free now. I have but two words for you, before I lock this door.

Fuck You.

Vile… 8/21/2012

My Relationship is not a Democracy

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, and Respect, bdsm, Bdsm events, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Health, Master, munchs, owning a slave, Patience, Punishment, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, Spanking, submissive, TPE, Vanilla on February 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We attended a Munch this past Friday, and I was somewhat appalled at the way some people, not only Submissive’s or Slaves were acting, I found it to be total disrespectful.

The group is called MAST Masters and Slaves Together. The Dominant who runs or Host the much is really okay, although him and I have never seen eye to eye. A slave made some bad comments about me, and instead of coming to me, he took everything to heart. If it had not been for others in the community who truly knew me, the outcome could of been much worse. Now I think we just tolerate each other more than anything. The first MAST Tish and I attended he was very respectful to me, but you could still feel the tension.

What I get tired of is others telling me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. This really gets on my nerves to no end. With other things going on right now yesterday I just about blew a fuse. At the munch I pretty much Stayed quite, although at times I did jump in and give my opinion. Instead of not speaking my mind, I held it in and it was a slow burning fuse for a couple of days.

Here is the thing, I am not talking about Subs right now. This is about Slaves, more so my Slave. My slave is my business, my slave is my property. My slave is my partner. My slave is my bitch.

My relationship is not a Democracy. There are no votes. Although at times I may ask for Tish’s / Arianna’s opinion, and I would respect what she had to say, and I would listen as well.

I run my house, I am head cheese. I am the man, and no one else is going to tell me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. I find it very disrespectful, when another Dominant tries to stick his nose in someplace where it does not belong.

Well now what Volume book of BDSM did you get your information from? I have yet to find a fucking book that says BDSM 101. If someone has seen this book I would like a copy. A dominant telling me what I should and should not be doing, and he cannot even run his own house. Really?

Tish and I have a very good relationship, many in the lifestyle do not agree with a micromanagement relationship. I know this type of relationship is not healthy, it can be if it is done long term. Short term can be very harmful.

Okay so when you agree to a relationship, and a Dominant tells a slave he can meet her needs, but in midstream you change the rules, which is more unhealthy?

Tish and I fit like a glove, Wow I found someone who has the same needs. Is micromanagement easy? Not on your life, it is probably one of the most difficult relationships in the community. It is a lot of responsibility, and the days can be very long. I am not complaining, I thrive having a challenge.

While at the Munch others were speaking to me about punishment. Well the truth is I have only punished Tish one time in a three month period. I normally do not spank but I felt this was the best way to get my point across, and she had to complete a task while being spanked.

When I made the comment Tish is the most compliant slave I have ever met or known, I was asked the question where is the challenge in her? Does there have to be a challenge? I would think not.

I did not even want to punish Tish, I felt very bad before, during and more so after. The thing is, if I did not follow through, where would her respect level of been for me?

At the munch there is one other Dom, him and I have about the same idea as far as how a house should be ran. He wants four slaves who wants to live in total solitude. Think about it four women under the same roof.  So now he has to put a roof over five people, food for five people. Provide medical for four people, not to mention all the Tampons he would have to by.

I may not agree with how some treat their Subs or slaves, but you know what? It is non of my fucking business, and to tell you the truth I could careless. If something works for them then so be it.

To come to me and tell me I am doing something wrong, man please.

I do share somethings, there are somethings that are more private that I do not share, and I will never share. Just as it takes a very special slave to be with me, it takes a very special Dom to be with Tish / Arianna. There is not anyone who knows her the way I do. There is not anyone who can even come close or could even imagine the care she needs, just in her daily life. No one could imagine the communication that is needed on a daily basis. No one could understand her emotionally, and meet her needs. More so the aftercare that is needed on a daily basis, when play is not even evolved.

Now to the scary part. A slave comes to a Dominant, and says here I am do what you need to do, I will give you everything. I want you to control my life. You can do to me what you want, I will lay on my back and spread at the snap of a finger. Even for most slaves not to mention submissive’s, that is a lot to give up.

The key is finding a Dominant who is going to put the slaves best interest first, and not take advantage of her. A dominant who is going to think things out before acting. A dominant who is going to think about choices and consequences.

My relationship is not a Democracy, and it never will be. I run my ship and Tish follows, but she chooses to follow, she needs to follow. This does not mean she is weak, she is far from weak. Tish is very smart. At work she has a great deal of responsibility. Tish is also very beautiful, she has a body built for sin.

Many people who follow my blog do not agree with who and what I am. I understand that. I would hope that everyone would not agree with me. More so want to submit in the ways I need. I am me and I refuse to change who or what I am.

It is Tish and Vile.  You take care of your Bitch and ill take care of mine.

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Vile

The Control We Have

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adult Baby, Aftercare, and Respect, anger, bdsm, Bond, Bottle, communication, control, controlling, Conversation on January 10, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

You look at the world of BDSM , we come with different fetish’s, different needs, for us Dominants needs and wants. We all come in different shapes and sizes, different cultures, different demographics. This is what makes the lifestyle so interesting, no matter what we are looking for, with the proper patience we can find the perfect partner.

We have Dominants, we have Daddy Doms, we have sadist, sadist who are not dominant or one can be a sadist and a Dominant. We have Baby girls who play the little brat role, masochist who are not submissive, and those who are both sub and masochist.  We have those into rubber fetish, diapers, pony and pet play. Those into age play. The list just goes on and on, it is never ending. The learning process is never ending. I know myself I learn something new everyday, I have the need to continue to grow, and learn. Most of all I have the need to be in control, being in control is not a want, being a Dominant is not a want it is a need, almost like a drug. My needs grow daily .

Us Dominants have a high standard, we are looked at differently, and those who are submissive or a slave expect different from us. We are looked up to, we are asked to guide, train to fit our needs, we tell one to trust, while we work to gain trust. We must show control 24/7. We seldom show emotions, we seldom share our feelings, we seldom truly open up. We view these things as a weakness. The lifestyle is one that one must show consistency, we have to stand by our word. Most of all we have to be truthful at all times, no excuses.

While I am in total control, the rights my slave has are those I allow her to have. I have the control where she sits, which is not on the furniture, with the exception of eating dinner. My slave never takes the first bite of food. I control everything. I am not going to go over the list, but I am sure one can imagine. My slave is for my use, sexual or not. My slave is for my service.

What does she get out of all of this. How could I possibly repay the gift of submission, that she has giving me. She gives her all without question. She trust me enough to put her life in my hands. She trust me enough to know that I would not do anything to hurt or jeopardize her or her career. How can one truly repay such a gift.

Well she knows I am there for her, be it physical or emotional. She knows when something is on her mind, or something is bothering her, I am there for her. She knows we have an open line of communication. She knows when she needs to be held, I will hold her. She knows I will keep my word. She knows when she needs me, I will drop what ever I am doing.She knows I am loyal without question. She knows I will never scream or yell, call her names out of anger. She knows I will never put her down. She knows I will support her in anything she may want to do. In my opinion she gets a lot in return.

She trust that the control she gives up, I will not take advantage of. She knows I will not push her to the point of breaking. She also knows I am there on not only the good days but the bad days as well. She knows when she calls I will answer my phone no matter what.

The BDSM relationship can be very rewarding, you can feel your needed, and wanted. Yes again the communication. Every night Tish and I sit indian style on the bed and we talk about anything and everything, this is her free time to say what ever is on her mind.

Are all Dominants like me, I would say not a chance, do all dominants want to be like me, again not a chance. Do all dominants agree with my views, again very few. The thing is I am me and I refuse to change anything about who or what I am.

When I say the word slave, I say it in a control manner. I do not want Tish to be my maid, my cook, clean the house, or do all the laundry. I do my fair share. I do most of the cooking, I do laundry, fuck I even make the bed at times. Being a slave does not make one a doormat.

I very seldom get angry, or if I do I seldom show it, although a short while back, I had someone who I thought was a friend push my patience, and I got pretty verbal. I never show my anger towards my property.

Things we should and should not do as Dominants.

We should never come between family and friends. The slave or submissive’s family should always come first we come second. We should not dictate who their friends can be, they were friends before we came into the picture. I will say this about the friend thing, if there was any type of sexual play, I can put a stop to that.

We should allow the submissive or slave down time. Time to breath, go out shopping, the movies, or even a girls night out. They need down time, it is like when we sleep at night our body repairs its self, I look at down time as having the same benefit.

We have so much control at times it can be scary. We have a great responsibility. We have to think things out more clearly. After all we are doing the thinking of two, not one.

We should cherish what we have.

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Vile

My World My Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, and Respect, bdsm, BDSM Safety, blow job, Bond, Bondage, Bound, Chained to the floor, Collars, control, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Friends, Friendship, Health, Hot, life, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, Patience, pleasure, Protocol, Protocol public, Respect, Rules, sadist, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, TPE, Trust, Verbal abuse on December 26, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was single for well over a year, during and prior I made a couple of mistakes and bad choices in partners, and there are those I wish I had never met, and those who are total nightmares.

When we do not take the time to think clearly, our heads get fucked up, it is almost like a cloud settles over our brain, and it causes us to have bad judgement. Sometimes we settle for less just so we have the companionship, even though we know deep down it is not going to work. Then at times we put to much effort into a relationship when we know the same thing, it is not going to work.

While in a relationship some may think my way is a one way street, I suppose if you looked at it from the outside I could see where one might think that. One might get the impression I am selfish, I can also see that. The truth is you have to really get to know me. I told Tish the same thing. You have to watch, listen and observe, because I am not going to tell you everything, if your truly interested you should want to do so. So far things are going perfect.

I run the house no questions asked. I make all the decisions no questions asked. What I did make clear however , because we are all not perfect. If she was to see an easier way, or maybe I am about to make a mistake, I want to hear her point of view, and I would listen. I have made mistakes in the past and I have paid the price. If I am at anytime wrong, I will be the first to admit it.

I was looking for a slave, not a submissive, a real slave who was true or wanted to learn about the lifestyle , and my way, and only my way. I am not going to change. I tried once before when I got married, the worst mistake I had ever made, but I was a man and stepped up to the plate. I was not out fucking behind any ones back. Ive gone over this before no one really seems to give a fuck so I am going to drop it.

I am Dominant 24/7, I just cannot turn it off like some are able to. I wanted a slave who was a slave 24/7, not just in the bedroom. That is like finding a Buddhist monk , that lives in an Amish town, yea next to impossible.

I found one, or she found me to tell you the truth. She is beautiful, stable, a little emotional at times, but aren’t all women at times, fuck even some men are. She has a good career, has been employed at the same place now for 13 years. Did I mention she is beautiful, and hot, with a body built for sin. Yea.

Tish craves submission , she craves accountability , she craves structure, she craves guidance. Tish needs all of the above. She needs rules, which were structured toward her needs and not mine. Tish craves consistency, Tish craves communication, Tish craves attention, she wants to be held at night, during the day, she wants to know she is number one, and the only one. I cannot understand a Dominant or top who has to have more than one at his feet. All my needs and then some are being met, without question or hesitation.

When I say slave, I am not looking for a house keeper, a cook, or someone do do my laundry. I did all of that before I met her.

Like me Tish is big on protocol, Protocol is part of her submission, again she not only craves she needs, this falls under acceptance.

She truly enjoys being spanked, Everyone knows I love bare handed spankings, back to my ass fetish. She loves bondage, which I love, she loves control. At night she has the need to be bound, being bound makes her feel safe. So we went to Home depot, I purchased a 5ft chain and two pad locks. One end goes around her neck, and locked, the other around the bed frame. This makes her feel safe, secure, but most of all owned. At night she sleeps like a baby, and she knows should she have to go to the bathroom she can wake me.

If and when company arrives she greets them, offers them a seat, at this point and time, Tish goes into a service mode, she offers drinks or what ever the guest may need. If I tell her to sit she does if not she stands behind me. Although I am big on protocol, she needs this, she has the need to please.

Our daily routine, we wake. I make Tish a cup of coffee and we sit and talk, until it is time for her to go to work at which time I make her a cup to go. Through out the day I receive text from her, I want to know how she is doing. Breakfast she tells me what the choices are and I choose what she is to eat, lunch the same thing, she will text me the options and again I choose. I cook a lot so I do most of the cooking, I enjoy cooking. I fix her plate then mine, we sit at the table. She is not to begin eating until after I have taking the first bite. At that time she may begin, this is public or private. After dinner, this is our talk time. She is allowed to say anything that might be on her mind. I want to know in more detail about how her day way. I want to know what is on her mind, any concerns she may have. Our talks usually last about a half hour. Then depending on how she is feeling its play time.

The above is an everyday ritual , all of the above that I have mentioned is what Tish told me she needed. I am consistent in our daily activities , there are no exceptions.

When out to eat I order her food and drink which is water most of the time, again she does not begin to eat until after I have taking the first bite. She does call me Master public or private. She is not a bedroom slave. I choose the clothes she is going to wear, I will pick the pants or skirt and I let her show me the different tops and I choose.

Safe word, many are going to get upset about this. I do not use a safe word. Why?  I started out in the lifestyle as a sadist, I was a sadist for about 12 years or so, then I slowly began to calm down, my needs changed. My wants changed as well. After Bea and I went our separate ways. I could clearly see the mistakes I had made, and it was or is my full intentions on not making them again. Now the safe word thing.  If you really care, you can tell by her eyes when she has had enough, her body movements, or even verbal. If she had asked about a safe word I would of allowed. She will tell you I have never hurt or caused any pain.

What do I get out of all of this? What are my rewards? Well pretty much anything I want or need, although sex is not the main part of a relationship, it is there for my taking, at times it is about me, but most of the time I make sure Tish is pleased. Her needs are met. I have an awesome friend, someone I can talk to, an open line of communication. Someone who likes to go out . She loves to give head, she loves anal, and at times I love the female on top, most subs or slaves do not like that, but she rides it is just wow, and she is able to cum in that position.

The structured rules I put in place, at some point and time I will add more as I see fit. It is important not to try and overwhelm someone with a bunch of since less rules, that does not benefit the slave in anyway . To many since less rules can set one up for failure, more so if they are just sexual based.

Tish has learned a great deal in a short time, she has or is learning it is okay to say NO. She is learning it is okay that not everyone likes her. She has learned it is okay that she does not have to gain acceptance from everyone around her. She has learned that while not with me, it is okay to put her foot down, and stand her ground. She has learned that when she feels there is to much on her plate, I can take some of that away, and let her know there are options.

This ladies and gentlemen is what the lifestyle is about. As much as I would like for it to be a one way street, it is not.  There is no arguing, none, the main reason being we know where we both stand. There is no verbal abuse, no physical abuse, no mental abuse.

The relationship is not about us Dominants it is solely about the sub or slave. They gives us their needs and we implement a structured plan, to insure they are getting everything they need out of the relationship. The relationship is clearly not all about me. The relationship is about Tish and only Tish. I insure her needs are met at all times. I highly believe in aftercare, proper aftercare can and will prevent sub-drop.

I am very structured as well. I have zero drama in my life, and I will not allow or stand for it. I have recently let a few friends go just because of their drama. I have zero anger issues. I take care of problems before they become problems.

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Vile

Do you as a Submissive or Slave Please To Much

Posted in abuse, and Respect, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, blindfold, blog, control, controlling, Conversation, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, events, foreplay, Health, married, morals, munchs, Pain, Patience, Respect, Rules, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, serve, session, sex, short shorts, slave, Spanking, submissive, The word NO on December 20, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This really happens a lot, more so when a submissive or slave is just entering their first relationship. It is almost like a craving, a drug, but it can be a bad drug.

Just entering the lifestyle a sub/slave will take just about anything that is thrown their way. Lack of communication, being yelled at, humiliated, and even told you are to take pain. Told how to dress, send pictures, video, nude on the webcam.  The last three I not only find childish, but really meaningless. During a session, when Tish is blindfolded I will take a few pics to show her what she looked like, then I delete. I do not save one for myself.

The first thing a lot of Dominants want to do is drop a ton of rules on you, making you feel overwhelmed and stressed. The rules, it took me about a week to implement any rules when it came to Tish. Number one I did not know her, number two I did not know what her needs were, and the type of structure she was needing.

The rules should not be of a sexual nature, I sent Tish 25 total rules, and I believe one was about masturbation, that is only because I like to watch, but none of the rules were based on sex.

Pain. All subs or slaves are not wired the same. Never let anyone tell you that you can be trained to take pain. I find that to be the biggest load of fucking horse shit in the world. I was with sherry for almost seven year, a true masochist, a masochist like I have ever known.  To this day I still cannot figure out what made her clock tick. At times when I would leave her house or her mine, I would be scared from all the bruising, and marks. On the other side of the story she would not of been happy in a regular D’s relationship, the pain was a release for her . A slave told me not long ago Her Dominant had her watch an S&M video, and the slave was laughing as he was hitting her. The thing is he was not really hitting her that hard, and she probably made 3K for the day.  If you are not into pain, then make it clear you are not, nor will you stand for it. You do not have to take anything just to please, if you are told that, I would reevaluate the situation.

I do love sex, as a matter of fact I am more of a pleaser when it comes to any type of sexual contact, although there will be times when it is just about me. For the most though, I make sure my slave reaches that point before I do. If you start your relationship out based on sex that is all you have. You are lucky if what you think you have will last a year.

Being told what to wear, wow I remember when I was in my mid twenty’s. She had to wear a short skirt with no panties. Yea I was thinking with my dick. Today I am much different, although 99% of the time I choose the clothes, I do not dress Tish like a slut, pretty much covered, and is seldom nude at home, or even sleeping. While in bed it just depends on my mood. Going to a munch I may have her wear a skirt, but nothing that will make her feel ashamed or out of place. We as Dominants have to grow up sometime.

I control the house, what to eat how much, bath time, and even bed time. I want to make this clear though, everything I named off is what Tish told me her needs were. I made an agreement, so the key now is for me to stay Consistent, if I ever lose that grip, it is almost impossible to regain control.

One thing I try to explain about a new relationship, when asked what is it like? How will our relationship be? My answer is everything will fall into place like dominoes , if the two of you click, it just happens.

When I am talking about rules or protocol, I go over everything, then I retract and go over each one and explain in detail, once I am fished, I ask if she has any questions. Tish told me know because I explained everything step by step.

You as a submissive or slave do not need 128 rules, out of the 25 I gave Tish probably only five or six were actual rules the rest were guidelines. I did not tell her she had to memorize each one. I told her to look at them at least once daily. The other day she forgot, so she got to stand in the corner and read them off to me. Then I sat her down and asked her to tell me which one really stuck out in her mind.

If you are not wired for pain, you do not have to take it. If you are not wired for humiliation, you do not have to take it. If you feel uncomfortable about how your Dom wants you to dress you have the right to question.

Okay so I do not know everything, this is true. While it is true I make all the decisions in our everyday life, I do from time to time make mistakes. I explained this to Tish as well, I want her to speak up, I want to hear her ideas. I am not that close minded, she may have a better or faster way of doing things.

I am a huge advocate when it comes to abuse, mental, physical, what ever the case. It makes me sick when two are in a long distance relationship, or my ball breaker someone who is married.To tell his sub or slave he was to busy to text, call, or drop an email. If your dominant tells you this, well you can see how far up the list your rank. A submissive or slave is number one and always should be.

After my post yesterday not one married Dominant made a comment, so I see where the back bone lays. I had very few comments, so I guess I hit a nerve with a lot of people.

There have been a few who have emailed Tish, she is somewhat shy but will answer, she just ask that nothing be posted on her blog, due to the nature of her blog and followers.

Do not take more than you can handle, you will not get use to it, nor can you be trained to accept pain and enjoy it.

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Vile

Ahhh The Many Faces Of Bdsm

Posted in abuse, and Respect, bdsm, blow job, Breaking a Slave, communication, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominants, masochist, Master, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, submissive on October 27, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Breaking Of Sabrina. Fiction.

Since the beginning Of BDSM ,if you can picture a tree with thousands of branches, each branch being a kink, what Kathy needs, Lisa thinks she is sick, or Kathy cannot understand why Lisa likes so much pain.

The Daddy Dom does not understand Sadist, The regular Dom understands neither. Everyone has been to a munch and you sit at the table looking around , thinking what the fuck.

I remember I was at a munch with a pony trainer, who was the Dominant over his pony, who was owned by a mistress, Wow okay.

The Dominant who owned a slave who was pansexual, who is Bi, and submits to men and women. Get the fuck out. Wow really?

The Breaking Of Sabrina, although a little extreme for me, I can assure you it is out there. A couple of years ago while at a munch at a crappy pizza place on International Speedway In Daytona Beach. A Dom who I had never met, just out of the blue stated if a man eats pussy it shows he is weak, the male is then submitting to the female. Wow okay I am way submissive then, because I love eating pussy.

What I am getting at, after the munch him and I were speaking outside, and he was telling me he had a camp in the Ocala National Forest, that was just for Sadist & Masochist. St Andrew Cross, cages. Racks, Sweat Boxes, and even hunted with paint ball guns. The whole time he is speaking I am just staring at him in total disbelief , and I am thinking there are those who fear me.

Now hear is the key word CONSENSUAL .. Do not forget that word. I believe 90% of the lifestyle is CONSENSUAL while the other 10% are those learning and have not a clue to what they are doing, and those who are predators.

The other two most important words are SAFE and SANE. those two factors must go with CONSENSUAL..

What I have blogged about is mainly my past, going back some 20 years. I have only hit on the present very little. What I can tell you, I have never hurt anyone, nor have I done anything against any ones will.

So now we have four words RESPECT, SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL.. In a relationship or not those four words must be followed, with no exceptions.

That is the reason I shake my head when a female chats with a guy for a couple of weeks, some awesome phone sex, and he is booking a room. She is going to meet someone she has never met, and knows nothing about him. Then she wants to scream and cry, and wants every ones sympathy. Well no you got what you deserve. If your going to be dumb, you got to be tough.

J called me one night after she had met someone at a park, 9pm at night. I asked how it went, she stated she did not want to talk about it. Yup she was RAPED. Was not the first time. So do not call me for advice if your not going to follow it, you just wasted ten minutes of my time that I will never get back. I know I sound cold, I am really not. I am just very out spoken.

So Kathy does not like pain, but Lisa does, Kathy loves Anal sex but Lisa does not, one swallows while the other does not. So we find someone who is compatible.

It is dead wrong to force someone to do something if it is not CONSENSUAL.

So a couple of months go by and I hear nothing from J, then I get a text , whatcha dewing. I hate that shit, I guess that is the redneck in her. When I first met her, she was a store clerk, she will be a surgical RN here in a couple of months now. That was part of our agreement when I agreed to mentor her, although she does not always listen.

So I text her back, How are you? she replies Eh okay. That tells me she has done something fucked up. I replied back who is he, well he is a daddy Dom. What is his Fet profile name. I look it up the first thing his pic is his penis. She is not on his friends list, because he does not want any drama with his Ex.

Well what rules do you have? None really I get away with a lot. J needs rules trust me or she is completely lost. Can you come and visit I want you to meet him? I really did not want to, but I agreed.

Her daddy owns a bunch of bees he sells honey, makes J go with him on the weekends to shows, pays her nothing. A single mother in school full time, works part time and takes care of two kids. I admire her. Her car needed work, so he agreed to loan her the money to get it fixed. Really loan her the money. Get the fuck out.

I will get back on track here in a few. So I pull up at her place, she lives on her parents property, in like a Fema trailer, until she finishes school.

After I greet everyone I go into the barn and I am getting a four wheeler out, I want to go riding, and dick walks up to me. He begins with, I want you to go back home, you are not welcome here. Then he ask what I am doing, and I said I am getting ready to go riding in the mud. Who said you could ride these, I replied Me. I do not need permission.

Then he states he does not like me, he wants me to leave J alone, stay out of her life. So I start the four wheeler up and ride off. About an hour later I show back up, park the four wheeler, now I am looking at fishing rods, and I load them up in the boat. Here comes dick. What are you doing? I said I am taking the kids fishing in the am. I jump in J’s dads jeep and back up to the boat, hook up the trailer. Then dick says I did not know you were spending the night. Well that sounds like a lack of communication on you and J’s part, again he says I want you to leave her alone. I am her Daddy.

I walk in the Barn and grab some fishing tackle, dick is following me, and he said did you hear what I said.

I replied look Dick, I will walk inside and tell that Bitch to drop to her knees and she would blow me right in front of you. Leave me the fuck alone, or you will have to leave and you will not be allowed back.Further more I am not sure where you are sleeping, but I do not do couches, so you need to go inside and make sleeping arrangements with your baby girl.

I have never fucked J nor have I ever wanted to, I do not have that type of connection with her. We are very close, maybe like brother and sister. Dick slept on the couch. What a pussy.

Consensual , J would do things against her will just to please, she needed companionship, although her needs were not being met, she would give in just to be excepted , some cases I can understand, some I cannot.

What is worse, a Dominant will say this, and that, tell the sub what she wants to hear, and a month later he is nothing, like he said he was. Just to get the pussy.

You will never hear me down talk another Dominant. be it how he treats his submissive, his training, or protocol. We are all different, although many do talk about me. I have had dominants tell a slave I was with, which was Chong I had no right doing somethings or I could not punish her the way I did.

Really, your going to walk up to my slave, when I am not even present, and strike up a conversation putting me down. Like she was not going to tell me when I got back, are you that stupid.Why did he do this. PUSSY that is it PUSSY. WOW.

So I meet someone, and she is not into the things I am, nor am I into some of the things she is into. If I am really into her, I will bend a little, because there are other areas we can work on, if I am really into you.

Consensual the key word, Safe, Sane, and Respect.

The awesome thing about BDSM is we can find any fetish , our needs can be met, we communicate on all levels unlike vanilla.

Yea The Breaking Of Sabrina was pretty wicked, total Fiction. I have been asked by a slave to break her, this was sometime ago. I declined. One I did not want a long term relationship with her, nor did she with me. Two I did not want that kind of responsibility of completely breaking down and building back up.

I do understand some slaves feel they need that, I also understand some dominants want to break a slave, just not my things.

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Vile