While many demand respect, many also demand ones submission. These are generally people who do not have a clue, nor do they care how it is giving.
We as humans are very visual, although I think we only take in about half of what we see we actually process very little. So if your new and your trying to dig up information about the BDSM lifestyle you see the pictures, while reading about what the Dominants role is suppose to be, the pictures are still visual. What you see is some bitch tied up, being beaten, and fucked out of her mind, that is the visual, that is what your brain has processed no matter what you have read or who you have talked to. I have talked to New Dominants and when I start to explain I can see their mind wondering off, what I am talking about now is boring, so their mind is not processing anything. They want to hear all the dirty stuff, the bondage, spanking , wax play, and just raw do not give a fucking, fucking.
A new submissive to the lifestyle will fall for this because they really don’t have a clue either. The Dominant has read a little and is feeding the sub a line of shit, and they are clueless. A submissive who has been in the lifestyle for any amount of time can spot the new Doms or the fakes.
Yea I want you to come over, mini skirt and no panties, your training will consist of sucking my cock. It happens and it has probably happened to a few of you. It is not a bad thing, just a hard lesson learned. The bad thing is these so called Dominants never run out of newbies, there is a never ending supply, pussy served on a platter. It takes a couple of meetings to discover the Dom is full of shit, but by that time he had gotten the pussy that is all he was really after anyway, he could really careless about you or your feelings.
A submissive already has an idea when it comes to the way we should act, the way we carry ourselves. How we pay attention, how we show we really care, how we are interested in their needs.
Earning respect is a slow process, earning trust can even take longer, and one just being able to let go and give everything can take even longer.
Once the submissive is at the point of giving everything, the ball is in our court. It it up to us to maintain the level of respect we have been giving. Being able to do so is keeping our word, and remaining consistent. If at anytime we alter anything it can have an effect on the relationship. Once you begin to lose control it is almost impossible to regain.
There are a couple of factors when it comes to a D’s or M’s relationship. If the submissive comes to realize you are real, and you have earned the respect, the next step is to try and figure out what makes their Dominant tick. They will try to anticipate every move the Dominant will make. If they do figure you out it is game over as well. It is very important to change things up from time to time, so you can keep them guessing.
A couple of weeks ago we were in the florida room going through a few slave positions while I was watching TV. Then I changed the tone of my voice. I just wanted to fuck , started in the florida room, then to the kitchen, finely the bedroom, hitting every hole on the way, maintaining the tone in my voice, Arianna was not able to process everything, making her believe she had done something wrong. The way I changed really threw her for a loop. It took a week or so to convince her she had done nothing wrong. Changing the tone of my voice, and being rougher than usual really made her think.
Keeping our word, being truthful is very important, not changing rules to fit our needs is very important, changing things up is a must. You have to keep the submissive thinking on their toes, so they never know what to expect.
Yea okay I am giving up a lot of secrets, but on the other hand maybe a few new Doms will read this post and get something out of it.