Archive for the anti depression medication Category

She Was Tied To A Tree

Posted in Acceptance, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, compatibility, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental illness, outdoor bondage, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first real rush , I was in my early teens and Bev and I were in the same grade. I remember after a Baseball game I sat with her on the bus and fingered her until we reached the school. We never really talked to much even though I would hang out over at her house , in fact she was more like a tom boy with a body built for sin.
Bev had come from a State home and her now parents were friends with my parents. Man if they had only known she was fucking everybody in school. I posted before about the teen whore , but now as I look back it was just a cry for attention.

I imagine many who are Baby Girls , submissive and even Slave are in need of the same , in fact I believe many are starving for attention. When you go into a relationship with that need it is very easy to be misled, and more so being taking advantage of. Your emotions can fuck you up and fuck you up fast, they will make you blind, and it has to be a fucked up feeling.

You know it is weird but it is almost like I am emotionless , I mean not when it comes to Arianna or close friends , but the reality is I really do not give a fuck.
I take care of my own and I expect others to do the same. If you spend your time in others Drama it drains your soul , and you become part of their cancer. I have said before I am unforgiven , I am not sure where that part of me came from, its just how Ive always been. You can be standing right in front of me talking and I see nothing and hear nothing.

People spend more time trying to be politically correct instead of speaking their mind. Acting like you care because when they are not around they are now the topic of discussion.

Growing up my dad has these fucked up Truck stop books. The slut next door, The town whore, you get the picture. Well at my age and zero communication with my parents , how would I know any different? At that age it is hard to differentiate fiction and non-fiction. So my thoughts were , women were merely objects , toys that were meant to be used.

Bev and I were like fuck Buddies and nothing more, when were fucking she would just ask if I wanted to fuck her ass. So this type of non relationship just justified my reasoning. In many ways Bev was just like the girls in the books I had read.

Bondage Sluts was a good book , well at that time it was, but it gave me a different point of view now, a whole new world had just opened up. Now I had to experiment , I wanted to be the dude in the book , and who would be best to play out such a fantasy ? Yes Bev she would be my first experiment.

I never told her what was up , during the week I had gone to the feed store about bought some rope. Leaving the house My dad asked me what my plans were for the day and I just turned around and looked and walked out.

Once out in the woods I took immediate control and I told her to strip. Once nude I looked around for two trees and instructed her to come to me. I took one arm tied the rope around one wrist and then the other. I took my shirt off and put it over her head so she could not see me.

As I stood in front of her and I knelt down and I just gazed at her I got the rush , chill bumps just went across my whole body, and I was thinking man what power.

I got up and walked behind her and I slipped my belt of folded it in my hand and with out a word right across her ass , and she said nothing. Then again and again and again and not a word.
At this point and time it had nothing to do with getting pussy , or getting my cock sucked it was the control I had over her, it was a total rush I had never felt before.

I am almost positive this is where my journey began , and it would be some two years later I would be introduced to BDSM while stationed in Korea. Although I did learn a lot there were things that were not fully explained , and it would not be until years later that I would learn of my many mistakes.

It is way to easy to play on someones emotions , and that makes it easy to take advantage of someone. Then it did not bother me so much but today I like to sleep at night. It took me years to learn communication was the first key. and that Horrible word I always use ? Consistency. That word goes with communication.
I knew how to get into someones head , but staying there was always the problem, and I did not know the difference when someone was emotional and needy and not.
I like the challenge , even when someone does not show any real interest. I love knowing what makes a submissive or slave tick. I like to be able to get in and knock on some doors opening each and every one.

If you go deer hunting and every deer is tied to a tree what challenge is that? Sure your going to brag but I can assure you , you will leave the tied up part out.

So it is always not the Subs fault, although it does make it pretty easy to put them blame on her , but after several relationships failing you would think , hey something is wrong?

There was a time when I was going though a slight depression phase , so I did what most would do or at least what I thought should be done. I dropped everything , and regrouped. I stayed to myself I did not date because I knew in order to have a successful relationship I had to be in the right place. I also knew it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.
I moved and I rented this awesome one room cabin on the river. You know everything was in one big room, the living room , kitchen and dinning room , an old log cabin it was really cool. I would sit on the porch and just vegetate , really not even thinking about anything. I guess I was like defogging my brain ,trying to figure out my next move. This lasted maybe a year.

Once I had gathered my thoughts and I was feeling good again I moved into a house and I put a plan into motion. I sit down and made a list of what I wanted in a slave and I began to search.

I really hate hearing other Dominants play on someones emotions or feelings. I wish I could be a better Dom , I am really trying to be a better Dom, I wish I was a better Daddy. All of those words are really Pathetic. These are the guys who prey on the gullible , the insecure, not knowing what they are doing , or have a low self esteem.
This is also where the dude gets played , because his whole life revolves around one thing and that is pussy , and he is deer hunting , but he is looking for the deer tied to a tree. He does not want someone who has goals , or is independent , or has a self esteem, he is looking for the weak.

Reversed the sub feeds on the weak , getting her way , taking advantage of the so called Dominant , while making him feel in charge by spreading on demand. Playing with depression is a very dangerous game.

Okay yea there is medication , you can feel better , but the medication keeps you in check. Most who suffer from serious depression have daily routines , thus having structure in their life. If you add or take away from their daily routine you throw everything off balance , and it does not matter what type of meds your on it fucks everything up. Male or female to fuck with someones emotions when they suffer from depression can be a deadly game.

It was not long ago I had Arianna bound. I love the plastic wrapping you get from uhaul. You can wrap the entire body and they cannot move or get lose. I have a black leather hood I love using. Arianna was laying on the bed all wrapped up with the hood on, and I knelt and the same rush came over me. I was just thinking man what control.
I had every hole exposed to me and I could do basically anything I wanted , but that is not what I wanted I just wanted to admire. Admire my slave, my property , and my wife.

I love the Rush

rush

Vile

When Your Life Self Destruct’s

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Mentor, Bipolar, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, control, Depression, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Master, Master And Slave, Self-Discipline, slave, Submission, submissive, Vile Woods on FaceBook on December 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Things get crazy at times , life gets crazy , work and even family. Then at times it seems friends or co-workers want to dump their life in your lap hoping you can fix what ever is wrong.

I talk about Depression a lot , and that is because it seems to play a huge role within our lifestyle.
While it is true there are those who do not suffer from depression or anything , I do believe the numbers are pretty high.

The good news is with the right care , the proper medication , and the right partner in the lifestyle or not , things can and will flow pretty smoothly.

When things go wrong or not as planned this is when things get complicated , but there is really no need for it.
It seems when things get a little crazy the thoughts get a little crazy and here comes the confusion.

Arianna does suffer from depression and we have been pretty lucky the last 2 years or so things have continued to have a upward swing.

It is not to say things do not get a little crazy because they do, but what ever is going on is controlled and controlled very quickly.

When I first met Arianna I went to a few of her Doctor appointments hoping to speak with her. The Doctor declined which I found kinda weird but anyway it was time for me to step in.
I found Arianna a new Doctor someone who would talk to me, we changed up the medication a little and WHAM as good as new.
There is always room for improvement but if you can find stable ground you pretty much just chill.

A couple of months ago I lost a friend in the lifestyle due to depression and she was only 23. She had spent a long time being abused and I am sure she felt like she had no one to turn to.

23 Years old she had a whole life ahead of her and there is no telling what she could of accomplished in her lifetime.

You can have friends and still feel like you have no one to talk to. You can be in a room full of people and feel like there is no one to talk to.

You can become depressed in a split second and you do not know what put you in that frame of mind. You ride it out and in a day or so your back to normal.

The health issues I have talked about over the past few years is a topic that should come up when you first meet someone. I have a list in my mind a mile long and at the end of the conversation I have much to think about before I want to commit to a relationship as I did with Arianna.
Arianna was not a split second decision , entering a relationship was something I had to give a great deal of thought.

I myself get into down and out moods from time to time, I get quiet and I am just thinking and really thinking about nothing, and it does pass.
I am not on any type of medications nor do I need to be. As of right now I am in a good place and it will continue to get better.

Depression can be bad , it can be really bad and at times people take the easy way out. That is not always the answer because I am a firm believer anything can be fixed and I do mean anything….

Knowing someone is truly interested in you and not just your cock sucking skills makes a world of difference.
Knowing that someone is working towards putting you back on the right track makes a world of difference.
Someone stepping in and taking up the slack makes a world of difference.
Someone who is willing to communicate with you , makes a world of difference, someone who cares about your thoughts and needs makes a world of difference.

There are a lot of factors that come into play when your in a relationship and not just a D’s or M’s relationship. The structure , the drama , the consistency , and helping you reach your goals.
Positive reinforcement

Being depressed does not mean you are broken , it just means you need a little more support. There is nothing wrong with that.

There is only one thing you need to get straight in your life before entering a relationship , and that would be your life.
It is not fair to someone to enter a relationship and you just dump your baggage in the living room and say hey fix it..
It is not fair to dump everything on someone and expect someone else to fix something you fucked up

If your in that depression mode , you should not even being considering entering a relationship , again it is not fair. At this point and time your problems are not for someone to fix, you have to fix yourself.

Being open and upfront about your depression and the problems is causes should be brought into the conversation when meeting.
This will give the Dominant time to decide if this is a path he wishes to walk or just tell you its not for him.

Looking for a relationship is one thing but looking for someone to rescue you in much different.
The rescue Dominant and there are a lot of them out there , but those relationships are very short lived because many bite off more than they can chew.

Before entering a relationship come up with a check list, and check things off one at a time until the list is completed.

Depression if your meds are not working then maybe your due a change or even another Doctor. Because if your on the wrong medication nothing is going to help.
Most Doctors today just want to push pills instead of getting to the root of the problem.

Always have someone you can talk to a close friend we all need one of those. We all need someone we can confide it.
That is very important and will help you stay a float when times are bad.

The submissive should have a mentor in the lifestyle a female mentor.
Most Doms who want to mentor subs or slaves are just out for ass.
A female mentor is going to understand you on much more deeper levels , you will also want to share more.
A female mentor has no motive when it comes to helping you.

Medication , you can be on the right medication but if your with someone who is just toying with your mind, it will no doubt put you in a bad place.
You want to make sure the one your with has your best interest in mind. If your just being used they are not going to care what state of mind your in, once you become a liability to them , your going to get dumped anyway.

To keep things on a smooth tract and it is possible , you need to have certain things in place, again things such as structure , rules , you need daily routines , and none of these things mentioned are hard it is just finding someone who is willing to devote the time that is needed..

You can prevent any of the above if you just sit down and think things out, and talk to someone.

Life is meant to be good.

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Vile

BDSM , Depression, And Those Who Are Cutters

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Anger Issues, anti depression medication, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Discipline, discussion group, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Health, Master, Master And Slave, Patience, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is no secret Depression is running wild today. 1 in 10 adults suffer from some type of depression.

http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/
An Estimated 1 in 10 U.S. Adults Report Depression

http://www.thementalhealthblog.com/2013/10/teenage-depression-and-suicide-statistics/

1 out of 8 teenagers are identified as having depression.
Depression is twice as more likely to affect females compared to males.
Approximately 20% of teenagers may suffer from teen depression before they achieve adulthood.
Around 5% of teens may experience major depressive disorder at any one point in their life.
30 percent of teenagers with depression also experience a drug abuse problem.
Between 20 to 50 percent of adolescents are affected by depression who have a family history of depression or some other mental disorder.
Depressed teens are more likely to have difficulty at schools and at jobs, and to struggle with relationship.
It is the sixth leading cause of death among the young children age 5-14.
Many adolescents with depression will suffer from more than one episode and 70 percent teens may have more than one episode before adulthood.
Teens with major depression seem to catch physical health problems more frequent than other teenagers.
In the United States, about 5,000 teens who experience depression commit suicide every year.
Most teenage depression can be effectively treated with medication, psychotherapy or combined treatment. Youngsters are more likely to react to treatment when they get it early in the course of their health issues

Now while I do not have a PHD, I am going to say these number are a little higher just because of the unreported cases there are. You may even be able to bump it another 3 or 4%.

There are over 5000 cases of teen suicide every years, and most come from families who suffer from some type of mental disorder.

Those who are in the lifestyle, the depression number run much higher. I am not sure what the connection between depression and BDSM are, but there is a clear pattern.

That is why if you are a submissive or slave, and you suffer from some type of depression, it is very important you find an experienced Dominant if you should choose to take that path. You need someone who not only cares about you but understands you.

http://www.teenhelp.com/teen-health/cutting-stats-treatment.html

Statistics on teen cutting are hard to come by because so few studies have been done on the subject.

Broad estimates are that about one percent of the total U.S. population, or between 2 and 3 million people, exhibit some type of self-abusive behavior. But that number includes those with eating disorders like anorexia, as well as those who self injure. (1)

A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal estimated that 13 percent of British 15- and 16-year-olds purposely injure themselves. (2)

In the U.S., it’s estimated that one in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly. Those who cut comprise about 70 percent of teen girls who self injure.

Now these numbers are pretty old, so I am sure the numbers have grown, and will continue to grow, until someone mainly the parents be held accountable.

Since the majority of my relationships have been long term, well for the most, I have been with two cutters, those were chong and Bea, bea being the worse.

In both relationships I was able to help the two over come the cutting. Never at one time did I try to discourage the cutting, that is working against them and what they are feeling.
The thing I had to do was try to understand what made them want to do such a thing. Both gave the same answers it was a release, a release of deep inner pain.

Chong was really easy, she did not come from an abusive family, she had moved to the US at the age of 18, and had entered many abusive relationships. It was not long after we had moved in together, the cutting stopped. It was through hours and hours of communication, and listening to her, and showing that I cared, she slowly began to stop, it was not something that happened over night.
Chong suffered from depression, and was on no medication, but most of her depression was from having no family in the US and no one that really cared about her.
I got her in to see a doctor and one prescription of wellbutrin and in about 45 days she was a new person, she made a 360 degree turn around.

Bea was much different, what looked like the everyday go lucky family was not what it really was.
Bea was more of an introvert she felt out of place and only had one true friend, who was also a cutter.
Bea was forced to go to counseling, her mother would stand in the bathroom while she pissed in a cup, because they knew she was on drugs.

While in counseling she was forced to set in group settings, and the result was she never opened up. She ended up telling the doctors what they wanted to hear.
She was 18 when we moved in together, and I was 37, her parents went fucking nuts, but you know what I was now in charge.

I remember the first time I caught her cutting, I did most of the cooking, so dinner was almost finished and I walked in the bedroom, and there she was sitting on the bed.
I looked and said hey when your done dinner is finished. It was maybe 5 minutes and she walked out, we ate no conversation, then I instructed her to wash dishes.

Once finished I told her to go get her razor blade and she just looked at me. I said go get the razor blade now.
Once back we were sitting on the couch and I asked her, where is the place that feels the best, and she pointed to her thigh. I pulled my pants off and told her to hand me the blade and she looked at me confused.

I took the blade from her and I started to cut myself and her hand stopped me. I pushed it back and I cut my inner thigh. Fucking ouch, wow that shit hurts what the fuck. Bea said you don’t understand , my reply was I understand more than you think.

It started around the 5th grade she was blamed for everything, she could do nothing right. Her parents would fight every night, screaming and yelling calling each other names, but they failed to see was the toll they were taking on their daughter.

What is that around your neck ? She said your collar. What does that mean? It means you own me. What do I own ? You own all of me. Inside out correct? Yes Master inside out.

Positive reinforcement is the greatest drug in the world. Showing someone they are loved and cared for is the greatest drug in the world, communication is the greatest drug in the world, and the funny thing is all of those prescriptions are free, no doctor needed.

The more we communicated, the more she trusted me. It was not long she began to open up to me and sure enough she had been molested by a family member when she was around the age of 5. Ahhh the root, every problem has a root, and she never trusted anyone enough to share that root until now. The abuse went on for about 4 years.
I found out in six months what her parents could not find out in 18 years, all they knew was it was her fault and only her fault. Someone had to take one for the team and it might as well be her.

some eight months into the relationship we were talking and she just busted out laughing. I was in total shock because I had never even seen her smile.

I started with small rewards for not cutting. Dinner dates, movies, long drives, and at times clothes.

Even though our split was somewhat messed up, I understood why she left the way she did, its all good.

Today she is a teacher, married with two kids, so yea I did okay..

Every problem has a root, and if you just medicate the problem they never get better. Group setting do not always work, because if they do open up, it is a false door they are opening. You are being told what you want to hear.
Trust is the same in everyone it takes time, and if they do not trust like I said when you open the door it goes no where.

So now today if you Google BDSM and mental health there are very few negative articles, in fact most are positive when it comes to the lifestyle and it is consensual.

I have spoken to two of Arianna’s doctors and both agreed the lifestyle we are living is good for arianna and beneficial for her as well. Living in a structured home with love and no drama. That is two out of two.

The parents need to take a bigger role in not only their children, but as a family. There has to be a time in the evening when all TV’s and cell phones are cut off, and you talk, but you talk and you listen.

The parents may even have to look for other work if your out of the home more than 45 or 50 hours a week

Don’t get me wrong the teen has to be held accountable but only if they should be not because it is easier. Today it is much easier to bring in the Xbox or the play station, than it is to take the responsibility that parents should.
The thing most parents forget is they did not ask to be brought into this world, you Mom and Dad brought them in.

So you look at the suicides , and the shootings at the schools, there was something wrong, something bad wrong, and the parents were to blind to see.

BDSM

In my view is healthy again I do not have a PHD but many times you can have a PHD and still be a fucking dumb ass.

If you the submissive are in a well structured home, with rules that really benefit you. You have an open line of communication, and you trust I mean really trust, you can live a healthy life and be happy.
You may not find yourself jumping up and down with joy, but you will feel stability in your life.
Consensual is the key word, and being with someone who understands you. That means you have to be honest and upfront about all of your problems.

If your with a Dominant and this topic does not come up, then he does not have your best interest in mind..

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Vile

Being depressed Is Not The End Of The World.

Posted in abuse, Advice, anti depression medication, Baggage, bdsm, Bond, Change, codependent, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, disable, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fear, Health, Humiliation, Kink, Lie, Lies, life, Love, masochist, Master, Mentor, needy, non caring, Paranoid schizophrenia, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, provocative, sadist, Scared, slave, submissive, TPE on April 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your laying in bed one night reading erotica , and you stumble across a BDSM story. You find it intriguing, interesting. You go to sleep , and the next morning your thinking about the story. During the day the story you read really makes you think. Hmm maybe just maybe this is me. Maybe I am a Slave, maybe this is what I have been missing.

Books are a great source of information, but you are only getting ones opinion. The same if you are depressed and your seeing a doctor, you are only getting ones opinion, you see another doctor and more than likely you will get another opinion. Sometimes in life you have to take what you see, read, and hear with a grain of salt. The Story Of O is a great book. This is the story of ones life. It can give you ideas and thoughts on how you want your life to be, but the truth is you have to find your own Story. You have to start out with an empty book and write it yourself.

I will agree that many of those who are submissive or slaves can be late bloomers. There is a hidden trigger in your brain, and something just flicked the switch, now the search is on. In my time I have never met a Submissive or Slave who did not suffer with some type of depression, anxiety, maybe bipolar, you get the picture. There is a switch in your brain and something turns it on.

Something from childhood, may have happened at a very young age, and your brain has now blocked it, maybe abused at a young age. More extreme raped, or even molested. I have heard all of the above.

I was recently told by a Medical professional that someone who suffers from being bipolar and depression, as well as other mental issues, can live a very healthy life while in the lifestyle under the right conditions. Fucking listen, THE RIGHT CONDITIONS.

Stability is a major factor, a stable home. Structure, in a stable home. Communication in a stable home. The Dominant must try to understand the illness. The Dominant must take part in all treatment. The Dominant must ask questions, after all you are concerned about yours.

The Slave must be honest when seeing Doctors, counselors, Psychiatrist, you have to be honest. Never be ashamed of who and what you are. If you do not talk about your lifestyle, your treatment may not be effective.

I actually thought while speaking with this counselor, I was going to be hammered, I was going to be giving the third degree, just general conversation, but still when she began to explain how under the right conditions a BDSM lifestyle can be healthy. Again this was only ones opinion.

In most cases the Submissive or Slave will bond with one, that being the Dominant. She is looking for support, guidance, structure, and someplace safe and stable. They are afraid when out alone, at times they get manic, the anxiety  level is at an all time high, and mass confusion hits.

There are things a Dominant will have to do in such as relationship, if he truly cares he has to step up to the plate. You know sending your slave to the store cause Anxiety. So you have to make the trip with your slave. Most who are Submissive or a slave cannot handle confrontation, guess what the Dominant has to step up to the plate. If the Submissive or Slave makes a mistake, the Dominant has to fix it. The Dominant may have to make phone calls. The Dominant may have to do most of the cooking, stepping up to the plate.

If you are in the lifestyle as a Dominant just for the pussy, the kink, the physical abuse, you are really not going to give a fuck. What you are doing as the suppose to be Dominant is causing more damage, you are turning on more switches, then poof your going as fast as you came.

Very seldom do you see a Dominant as a late Bloomer. The majority of Dominants have been Dominant since childhood, it is in your personality. Once you become interested in the lifestyle , it can takes years to master your Dominance. As I have stated before I had a few great mentors. Today I have two I confide in.  To this day when I am speaking to an older Dominant you will hear me call him Sir, out of respect.

A man cannot wake one Morning and say I am a Master, that does not happen. You cannot wake one morning and be ready or willing to take on the responsibility of someones life. Be able to guide, put structure into their life, guidelines and be consistent it cannot happen. This is not old school talking this is common sense.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves tend to trust to fast. They truly believe they have found the one. Early on they spill their heart, they share all the good, the bad, and the mistakes they have made. You as the Dominant must take all this information in, you digest it, then you put your plan into motion.

I have seen Dominants use what has been told to them as ammunition, and at some point in the relationship they throw it back in their face causing more hurt. Why would you as a Dominant do such a thing, when you were trusted? The Submissive confided in you, the submissive was being honest.

We as Dominants must be supportive, we must encourage, guide, and walk hand in hand. Although in some cases we do have to allow one to stumble, not fall, at times we have to say Yes, we have to let one make a mistake. You cannot spend your relationship saying no.Even when they stumble we still need to praise the effort that was put into what ever the Submissive or slave was trying to accomplish. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Stumble but not fall. If for some reason they do fall, we have to be willing to pick up, dust off and continue walking.

Here is the kicker, and this takes much thought. You as the Dominant are getting ready to enter a new found relationship. The Submissive or Slave has just spilled their heart. They suffer from all of the above. You know you are going to have to spend a great deal of time with yours. You may have to give things up in your life, bowling night, Bar night with the buddies, Because you now have someone glued to your side.

You are entering a relationship , you have to think long and hard if you as a Dominant want this type of responsibly, because once you start you are committed. You as the Dominant have giving your word. You will be there no matter what. The crying, the confusion, the midnight phone calls. You cannot complain because you made a promise and a commitment. You have said Play Ball.

Just like the Slave or Submissive the Dominant cannot read a book, if you are a true Dominant what you have is already there. A good mentor can bring the best out, but what you are taught, you have to take bits and pieces and put your own to work, your own style. The way you run your house, your own rules, and protocol. You have to be you.

If you are a Sadist, find a Masochist. Do not take someone who is not into pain and force one to be willing to explore your needs. Physical abuse is not tolerated, and that is what you are doing. Never force one to do something that is unhealthy. In many cases a Submissive or Slave will do things just to please, without thinking of the consequences. You as the Dominant may think everything is fine, when in fact it is not. They will not say anything and let you continue, and what you are doing is chipping away at wood, and eventually the wood will be gone.

Having an illness is not the end of the world for the submissive, they can lead a very productive life, under the right conditions. Please do not think that everyday is going to be cake and ice cream, because if you do you are living in a fantasy world.

You as the Dominate must step up to the plate it may be full or only half. When a problem arises you have to be willing to work through it. Most of all if you really care, you may have to adjust your whole life around the submissive.

It is up to the Dominate to dig deep, what kinds of medication? What are you taking them for. Listen to their story, take it in, digest it, and put it to good use.

You as the Dominant make have to make all the decisions, in everyday life. You have to be willing to accept this task. No matter what you must never complain. Take the Ball and run with it.  Most of all never use their sickness against them, never throw anything back in there face. If you do what you have built you have just destroyed. Everything you have built is now gone, you have to start from scratch, if the submissive will allow you to.

You the Dominant must be in control at all time, there is never a reason to yell, scream, argue, put down, degrade, abuse. You must be in control and not controlling.

Down time is very important. This is needed not for one but for both. I know once I put Arianna to bed, I take a deep breath and then and only then can I relax. This is my down time. It is good to suggest hobbies, allow them to go out for a day without breathing down their neck, the mall, a book store, or just taking a nap. Down Time is crucial and it is a need. This allows the Submissive or Slave to breath, relax, take in the fresh air.  You as the Dominant should suggest the down time, encourage. Allow some freedom, when they are out don’t be blowing their phone up . Allow them to have friends, see family Go with them if asked. Don’t make an excuse why you cant. Do not seem like you are thinking about their request just do it.

With the exception of a few illnesses you can have a healthy relationship. I would say someone who suffers from Paranoid schizophrenia would be a huge no no, unless you have been in a relationship for a very long time.

Most who suffer from any type of illness are visual people. You will see many times a submissive or Slave writing things down. This is the visual. When they are trying to make a decision you may have to communicate the logic part to them. Allow them to be visual encourage them. Writing things down they can see the pros and cons, talk to them about what they are feeling.

You can live a very happy life, if you the Dominant are willing to take the right steps. If you are there just to use, you need to sit back and think of the damage you are doing or have done.

One thing you cannot and must never do is remind the submissive or slave what you have done for them, throw back in their face well where would you be without me.

Karma is a Mother Fucker.

 

Vile

I spoke with Tish’s Ex Dominant

Posted in abuse, anti depression medication, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Beatings, codependent, Collars, control, controlling, Conversation, Drama, emotional, Ex Dominant, Ex Husband, FaceBook, fetlife, Hypno Dom with tags on December 9, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow I cannot believe how touchy some Doms are. I emailed Tish’s old Dom. Why? Because I can, and two There are two sides to a story when it comes to a breakup.

I wanted to take the hit since Tish did not want any confrontation , and now I understand why.. Being her real first Dom, and not knowing what questions to ask a slave will take ones word, and she does not really know any better. Or the same if a male slave has a mistress.

I was very polite , when I sent the email, I explained who I was, and my purpose for the email. and this dude came unglued at the seems.

The first of five emails were to Tish. Your a whore, your a cunt, you never will be happy. You are unable to make any decisions on your own, it just went on and on. As I was reading I am thinking this cannot be the words of a Dominant. Even though he had not put a collar on her, he explained he still owned her until Dec 21st.

Now just a little background , he lived in Ohio and she would fly up from Orlando, on the weekends. He would flip for 75% of the airfare, and she would pay the other 25%. So this had to be worked out before she left.

Tish still feels guilty about getting a divorce, like she did something wrong, but when it had gotten to the point where she was not getting anything out of her marriage, she did the right things. She stays in contacted with her ex husband, which the Ex Dominant found to be intimidating for what ever reason. It was okay for his to be with other slaves.

On Tish’s Birthday her ex Husband sent her flowers and candy, again the Dominant was upset. While I agree the communication should be limited , they were married for nine years and pretty much left of good terms.

I do not have an ego that can be crushed, I understand people have to communicate. You cannot just cut a sub or slave off from the world.

Outside of BDSM there was no real communication. Everything that was talked about was Master and slave. He explained during play, that she was to except his pain, this was the way she was to show her appreciation . Tish is not into any heavy pain, if she gets to that point she will ask, but nothing extreme, you have to get her to that point during play, but it does not happen every time.

So I contacted him, very nice email, on FetLife explaining what was going through her mind, but the reply’s were those of anger.

His training consisted of  having her nude and cuffed, she cleaned his house, done his laundry, and cooked.

Oh and the 128 basic rules which were written by a young Dom in the mid 80’s minus one and a couple added.

I disrespected him because I did not agree with his methods. While I did not agree I also explained , that while we were all different, and I may not always agree, you would never hear me speak bad of another Dom.

Many Dominants and sub/slaves on here that follow me do not agree with everything I say, I am not looking for everyone to agree with me.

Who today is not on some type of anti depression medication. At times Meds have to be changed, When this happens emotions change. So we as Dominants have to adjust, and continue walking forward, if you truly care about someone. A lot of subs/slaves are codependent , most are needy, most need to know they are excepted, most need approval, most need to know when they have done well, and not just the bad when a rule is broken.

If someone is emotional , you cannot tell one to take a pill and go to bed. Prior to considering a relationship these are questions that are asked. We then makeup our own mind. Do we choose to enter a relationship, or just walk away. If we choose, then that means we are willing to pick up the baggage , and take things as they come.

The foundation the two have to build, you have to start out as friends. As our friendship grows, I slowly begin to implement a few rules and guidelines. I have to see which areas in her life she needs the most help with. This should be the foundation of your rules. By doing this you are laying down the ground work, so you can begin to work on structure. Staying positive is very important. You want the sub/slave to feel needed, a purpose if you will.

A D’s relationship is much easier to maintain than a vanilla relationship in my opinion. Both enter the relationship knowing where each one stands. You both know what is expected of each other.

If we the Dominant are not willing to be there when one is emotional, talk to and hold, what is our purpose.

I we have a small group on FaceBook, I posted a picture of Tish. She is really very beautiful, smart, and caring.

I may post a few of her ex Doms mail, but some of it gets pretty personal. I will have to think on that. She also spent time with the Hypno Dom I posted about, who I also emailed but never got an answer. Others are now looking for him, and many have put the word out about him.