Archive for the anticipation Category

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

You Both Should Adapt

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, anger, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bond, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, Fantasy, Humiliation, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Rules, sex slave, slave, Submission, submissive on March 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Let the negotiations begin. Every relationship be it Vanilla , D’s ms’ Baby girl has negotiations. This is the time you spend getting to know each other, feeling each other out , likes and dislikes. favorite foods , movies , music , hobbies is any , work habits good and bad.

In a D’s or M’s it is just slightly different because the relationship is more in depth, there is much more involved in the relationship. Now we have safe words , now we limits. Now we have rules , protocols , some Dominants are strict while others are not.

How are you going to be used in a D’s or M’s relationship, maybe in service , maybe just for sex , there are several different factors you need to look at.

I have stressed many times before it is very important to become friends first before you speak about anything that pertains to BDSM. Are you into bondage, humiliation , pain is a biggy? Are you into following strict rules ? Maybe you don’t swallow , or do anal , all of these are Negotiations , and these are things that have to be worked out prior to entering a relationship.

If there is enough in common or the Dominant feels there is enough in common he may wish to move forward even if the submissive or slave has certain limits they are against. In time limits can be renegotiated , but more so a good Dominant does not change he can simply adapt to somethings in a new relationship.

I believe a huge misunderstanding is about the 24/7 relationships , new relationships. It is the submissive or slave who has to adapt to the new ways. It is the submissive or slave who has to adapt to their new surroundings.

The negotiations should continue until both have agreed to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship….

Limits should be pushed but respected, Limits are part of the Negotiations and the submissive or slave should stand by theirs. If you are totally against something or something makes you feel uncomfortable then speak your mind. One thing you should never agree to something in fear of the relationship not working out. The good thing is I can assure you once in a stable relationship some of your limits will pass. You will want to explore that sense of freedom.

You will never change a Dominant , in some cases he may change his way of thinking , when it comes to training, and putting rules in place but a total make over will never happen. At times he may adapt to certain situations if he feels the relationship is moving forward in a positive direction as well.

Many times in any relationship we tend to take other for granted , we tend to forget the small things and we begin to just expect everything, the small things are no longer appreciated. This is when the communication break down begins and the relationship starts to fall apart and if not caught in time it will fail and both are to blame.

Stress brought on by those who think they are submissive , but in reality it is just a fantasy , those putting up resistance during training , not following rules because they think it is a joke or not taking the relationship serious. You may like the Dominant but not the lifestyle and you expect him to change , and that is not going to happen. The relationship fails and all the blame goes on him, while all along it was you who caused the break down.

Bruce Lee once said. If you want to learn to swim jump in the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you..

Traits Of A Good Dominant

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Anger Issues, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, control, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, TPE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was looking back over the years the other day from a wild and crazy teen , joining the Us Army at 17 to get away from home, and I can pretty much remember every year except for the Carter Administration. I had joined the Us Army October 1979. When I left the house both parents were at work so there were no good byes. There were no letters back and forth , so I never showed up for mail call.
I had left behind a 100 friends who were not friends if that makes any sense. I never really got into any real bad trouble, I steered away from the trouble makers. I was young and doing my own thing. While others partied and smoked pot , I was tying girls up. At that time it seemed like the best alternative.

I have noticed since I have gotten older , I have not really changed much at all , Ive just changed my way of thinking. I grew up on the street so by the time I had turned 17 and joined the army I had street smarts. I could separate the bull shitters from the real.

I have zero tolerance for lairs I mean zero , none. If you lie to me we are done. Most people lie because they want something or they are hiding something.

I started washing dishes when I was 13 so I always had my own money even as my parents struggled. There struggle was drug addiction , and alcohol. Every 90 days or so one or the other would go into detox for 30 days and get clean. It was just a vicious circle that was never ending. I had just turned 21 and my real mother passed away from a drug overdose.
I remember my uncle calling me I was stationed in Korea and he asked if I was coming to help with the arrangements, and I thought for a second and I asked why would I do that , do what you gotta do man I hope it works out.

So I learned at a very early age you had to watch your own back because no one else was going to. I also learned early on that greed fed the human mind , I also found out greed is the down fall to many , but they want to put the blame on others. Family , Family are the ones you really have to watch out for. That does sound cold but we as humans have changed so much over the past 30 years. I saw it when my Grandfather passed away. He had not even left the hospital and they were going through his things and fighting over who got what. Like the movie , you have to learn to separate the good , the bad and the ugly.

While in school I was only in one fight. Fighting was something I never looked forward to, or never thought I would be in one. Fat fred is what he was called and he was fat and people were scared of him for what ever reason. One day while boarding the school bus Fat Fred tripped me while I was going to my seat. Once I got up I straddled him and I just started punching and punching and punching. The bus driver pulled over and had to pull me off of him.
Fat Fred spent a week in the hospital. I had broken his nose , his jaw and his eye socket was ruptured. That was the end of my fighting career , after that I never had a problem with anyone. I never understood it but his parents never wanted to press charges, maybe they knew he was a dick.

So where am I going with all of this rubbish , well I am in the learning stage. I spend my time learning and watching and listening.

Honesty I learned early on honesty is the best medicine , if your honesty people will respect you even if they do not like you.
Some years ago I drove a Tractor Trailer , one of the drivers who switched with me brought a truck back in as he was backing to the Doc , the supervisor met the driver and asked him what happened to the trailer door it was destroyed. The driver make the comment Vile did it. James my supervisor looked at the driver and said Vile did not do that , I know this because he would of told me.

A good Dominant can communicate and will do so on all levels. A good Dominant will all you his property to communicate as well and again on all levels. With communication comes with having the ability to listen and communicate your feelings or your thoughts

A Good Dominant is loyal even if he is in a Poly relationship because all parties know of everyone. A good Dominant is loyal and will remain.

A good Dominant is able to provide structure and make his property feel secure. He will provide structure to keep his home is good balance without any disruptions.

A good Dominant wants his property to succeed in life he will set goals and insure they are completed and help when needed.

A good Dominant is in full control of not only himself but his home and surroundings. He is level headed and thinks things through before acting. A good Dominant knows his actions not only effect him but his house as well.

A good Dominant again is in full control going in a different direction this time. He is in control of his temper, he is in control of his anger and he is not abusive , be it mental, physical , or verbal. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts.

A good Dominant will respect your limits , while at times limits will be pushed one must know and respect when you have had enough.

A good Dominant will put you first above anything in his life. You should be all that matters. You know even today I still receive some 50+ text a day from Arianna. It does not matter what I am doing whom I am with I take time to respond, by not responding in a timely manner I find it to be very disrespectful and uncaring.
I am sorry I was to busy to text you, really how long does it really take to pick up your phone and send a text msg ?

Now the above statements could go with any relationship as well , be it a vanilla , Domestic Discipline , or if you venture off into the world of BDSM. The bottom line is if you do not have those core values in any relationship it will not work. It seems over the years we have lost much of our values as a society , now it is mostly dog eat dog even when it comes to our families.

One thing you as a submissive or slave has to remember , you are the one who has to adapt to your new Dominant. You are the one who has to follow rules but rules within reason.. You yourself has a lot to do with the relationship working. You have to have that mindset when entering a new relationship , and you have to remember every Dominant is different , every Dominant has a different way of doing things , as well as different rules and standards.

trust

Vile

How Deep Is Your Submission

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Forced Submission, fucking, Humiliation, kinky, Lies, Manic, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Security, Self Pity, slave, slave no limits, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..

Confused

Vile

What Kind Of Submissive Or Slave are you

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, anticipation, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, choices and consequences, communication, control, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Exploit, FaceBook Vile Woods, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, non-consensual, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are all Different our personality’s , our lifestyle , our work. We are come from different backgrounds. Submission comes on so many different levels. Dominance comes on so many different levels, our kinks come on so many different levels….. More important our needs come on so many different levels.

Over the years I have grown , over the years I have made mistakes and I have paid my dues. Today I live by two words yea you know them Choices and Consequences , those two paths will lay out your whole life.

Submission, The state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else. Those are some very deep words and words that need to be given heavy thought.

So you grab a pen and paper , a blanket and curl up on the couch and you let the thinking begin. I have posted something else about this , one was. There are seven different types of submissives , but as I was thinking about that topic I believe there are way more. To be put in any one group is not right or fair, so you have to get your thinking cap on.

Do you want to follow rules? Do you want structure ? How much power do you want to give up? Do you want just in the bedroom , the house or 24/7 ? You have a million and one thoughts so I would not think this is something you would complete in one sitting.

What kind of Dominant are you looking for? Strict ? One who gives you rules ? Protocols ? One who punishes when needed? One who keeps his word and tells the truth ? A Dominant who will listen to you , A Dominant who will communicate with you on all levels ?

You have to figure out your kinks , some you will not be sure of because you have not explored. What hard limits you have , medium and soft.
You must know the difference between the different Dominants. A Dominant and a Master are very different. A Daddy Dom is very different from the other two. Once you have kinda figured out where you think you would fit, then you can determine what type of Dominant your looking for….

Wanting someone who wants you for you, not someone who wants to try and change you. I take and improve on what I have to fit my needs. If you have to go through all those changes then you have found the wrong person, the wrong partner…

Acceptance in any relationship matters the most , being able to be yourself , be who you are and being free.

Many who are first entering the lifestyle will feel rushed , and may even have that feeling of being overwhelmed. It happens and this is when you have to sit and take control over your emotions and your thoughts. You have to learn to tell the difference between what your heart is saying and your head, most of the time your brain is right.

Limits , every Dominant wants to know what your limits are. Do you enjoy anal sex? Do you swallow ? Do you like Rimming ? Do you like humiliation ? Do you enjoy pain ? The most frequent question on the street today is are you BI ? Why is that number one I do not have a clue?

Being new to the lifestyle you have know know if what you want is fantasy or reality, not knowing has been the down fall of many relationships. If it is just fantasy and the relationship ends , then it was the Dom who abuse you , or so you think. Many times when fantasy meets reality it can be a crashing blow. Now your fantasy turns to fear and the Dominant ends up getting blamed for something you told him you wanted.

Being new and not talking to anyone in person who lives the lifestyle is really hard. While it is true you can chat on the internet , knowing if someone is telling you the truth or not is harder.

The number one rule you have to follow is never let someone tell you who you are , this is trying to change you and change the thoughts you have already put together in your head. You may say well I am a submissive , and someone try to tell you your a slave or a baby girl when in fact your a submissive. Your going to listen because this Dom has told you he has 100 years in the lifestyle. The key to your success in the lifestyle is being able to be you. The key is finding someone who will except you for you. If someone wants to change you then you are not be accepted for who you are.

If your asked a direct question then you give a direct answer. You do not at any time give an answer because it is what they want to hear. You answer with your first thought. Are you poly ? No I am not nor do I wish to be. Acceptance is the key word here.
Those two words again Choices and Consequences those two words will make you or break you and your answers need to be clear and straight forward.

Do you like pain ? You already know the answer to that question or you should if not then your answer would be , you know I am not sure I am willing to explore a little. A direct question gets a direct answer.

You have to remember every submissive is different , every submissive has different needs , just as with a slave or a Baby girl. Your needs are what is important , your needs should be met without resistance.

Rules are meant to improve not change you. Rules are meant to provide structure and guide you , not change you.
You must send me nude pictures everyday , that is not a rule , that is exploiting you , and do not think he is the only one who is seeing your pictures.

Do not think the first Dominant you meet is your last , if something does not feel right , then thank him for dinner and tell him it is just not you, you are not what he is looking for. Choices and Consequences.

The predators in the lifestyle truly out number those who are real and have their best interest in you. It does take time to figure out who is real and those who are just looking for a quick fuck. These types of predators will string you along until you catch on.

Remember this is your life , you are in full control of the outcome.

door

Vile

My Wife , My Partner , My Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Submissive's Home, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow it has been two years now and we are still counting. I would like to say that each passing day gets better.

You know there is one thing we all want , and that is to find the perfect partner. Someone who is not just our partner , but our best friend, someone we can count on, turn to. We all want someone we can spend the rest of our life with, someone we can grow old with and sit on the porch in the evening , and talk about our past , present , and future.

The lifestyle is just a little different , because our needs are different. The way we view relationships is different , because your either a Dominant or your a submissive , and if you want to go deeper a slave and owned property.

Your stepping into a wide open world, and in many cases the world of the unknown. A new life journey, a new path , but we want to know what direction we are traveling in. What is more important you want to know you are going to be taking care of.

Being a submissive , slave or Baby girl is no easy task. You are really giving up so much, but under the right conditions you can gain so much more.

So 4 years ago I set out on a journey , and that journey was to find the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I had made up my mind it was time to settle down. It was becoming old waking up in the morning alone , although I have always preferred being alone.
A year before meeting Arianna , I agreed to let a couple move in , I had been looking for a roommate for a while. It was not because I needed the money , I suppose it was more of a company thing , like during dinner or something.

Just prior to that I was living in a cabin on the river which was very relaxing and more so because there were no people near me. It was a short time after I became ill and after a dozen times going to the doctor we determined the cabin was full of mold, and I had spores on my lungs, so I had to move.
I underwent a couple of months of treatments and I was slowly beginning to feel better.

I ran across a house that was being remolded and I asked about renting it. It just so happened the house was right in the middle of the Hood. The house set on a street all alone so there was no one around me, but I was the only white dude with in about 6 or 8 blocks.
I quickly felt at home and I had made a couple of good friends. The only problem with friends is they want to visit , and I am not the social type , I tend to be out spoken and some take my personality offensive at times and my rather dry sense of humor.
The only reason I moved in was the house had just been remodeled other wise I would of never thought about moving there.

Okay I got off track a little so here we go.

I got real tired of jumping from relationship to relationship, and it was all because I was settling for less that what I wanted and needed. I was fulfilling the moment knowing it was not going to work, but I played it out until it ended. It was for companionship and nothing more and that never ends well.

So I was in the process of moving to the Philippines I already had a job lined up.
I had been searching for almost 2 years for the one, and I refused to settle for anything less. I already had my mind made up. So when it seemed I was just out of luck that is when I made arrangements to relocate.

Then One day I received a call from a Dom I knew who lives in Orlando and he said he wanted to introduce me to someone. He said we would be a perfect fit.

So reluctantly I agreed to meet and when I saw Arianna getting out of her SUV. I thought Lord Jesus there is a God. Wow I almost spit my coffee out.

So we talked for a couple of hours , we met again the next day and talked more, and the more we talked the more I thought it was some joke. Because I had never met anyone who did not object to anything as far as my needs and wants.

Then came the blow we talked about her needs and being micromanaged , protocols and rules. This was something I had to give a great deal of thought about because I had been in a micromanaged relationship before and it was really not my thing.

One thing I want to make clear, I was not looking for a housekeeper , or a cook. My house for the most was spotless. I was not looking for someone to do my laundry , and I was not looking for a mother figure.

I wanted to live an M’s relationship , nothing less. I was not looking for a submissive, why ? Because a submissive negotiates their relationship, a submissive has the right to say NO. I had tried that and it failed. There were not going to be any type of negotiation , the slave had to fit my needs.

You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it is impossible. You not only have your everyday life you have to deal with, but you have to be best friends.
You have to at some point and time be normal, there has to be a vanilla side that comes out.

I am a huge cut up, most people never know when I am serious or not.

We do have protocols in place and daily rituals that keeps us in that frame of mind, but we also have date nights we go out and do things together, and yes I even go clothes shopping with Arianna.

You as a submissive or slave should always come first in your relationship, that is your right. If your not you have the right to question, you also have the right to walk away.

If something is not going right you have the right to question. Again you are and should be number one.

I currently work from home , my office is covered with Arianna, I have pictures on the wall on my desk so where ever I look I see her, and she is the reason I am here today.
She is my last thought before I fall a sleep and my first breath when I wake and she is laying next to me.

Being in a D’s or M’s relationship is so much more than just barking orders or punishing you for something you really did not do.

The relationship is meant to provide security , structure , and yes rules but the rules are meant to provide the mentioned.

Once Arianna and I agreed to start a relationship , she really had no idea her training had started, I said nothing. It was an intense 90 day run we had.
Training is never over it is on going , I call it daily Maintenance , and that requires me to me consistent on a daily basis.
As Arianna grows she is always coming up with new ways she sees that she can hmmm reach a deeper state of submission.

The other night we were talking and she made the comment that she felt the mental aspect of our relationship more so than she would with pain.
The fact is I have never left a bruise on Arianna nor do I wish to.

Arianna had been in two bad M’s relationships prior to meeting me.
One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the local community, and people I had know for over twenty years..
It was not something I felt I had to do , but I wanted to put her mind at ease. Maybe it was to validate who I was. I do know she had been abused and lied to in the past.

Today her training still continues. We talk everyday , I want to know how she is feeling, what she is thinking, is there anything she wants to talk about.
Often she comes to me with ideas about how she wants to grow or explore an idea she has.

So if your Dominant says he wants to train you. You need to ask him to clarify just what his training means. What are you going to get out of his plan ? How is his training going to help you grow ?

One thing that cracks me up is when a sub or slave meets a new dominant he wants to impose rules.
I find that truly funny and I would assume the guy is a total dumb ass because he knows nothing about you, he knows nothing about your needs or habits.

NEVER I mean NEVER send anyone nude pictures of you unless you want your kids finding them on the internet one day and that will happen.
If he wants nude pictures tell him to use google. You sending pictures of yourself does not in anyway prove your submission.

To date Arianna and I continue to grow as with our love, and to date we have yet to have an argument and that is the truth, and it is not because she is not allowed to speak or ask questions, it is because of our communication.

Unfortunately for many when they first meet a New Dominant , one of the first words out of his mouth is. I am going to train you , I am going to teach you my ways.
That is the last thing you hear about training , unless you fuck up then it is brought back up about how his training has helped you.

Once that statement is made the first time you meet , your relationship becomes sexual and nothing more. There is little to no communication , there is no structure, there is nothing but you on your knees or on your back. Don’t get me wrong some are very happy with a situation like Ive stated above.
I am also sure some of you have experienced just what I just spoke about, and it is really sad you continue to follow such a dumb ass.

Your caught up in the moment , your caught up in the awe of things because you are now owned , and it is clear you the sub or slave really has no clear definition of the lifestyle.
What is even more disturbing you really do not have a clue as to what your looking for, you just know your looking for something.
You really have no clear definition , what the lifestyle really means.

When I started my journey I knew exactly what I was looking for in a partner. I knew the height, the weight , the personality. I had a clear picture in my head of how I wanted to live. I refused to settle for less because I knew inside I was better, I knew I deserved better and I refused to settle for less.

Life today is good , it could not get any better , and it is more than I ever dreamed possible, but that is because I had patience.

Your training is never ending because we change, as humans our needs change on a daily basis, so we either lose or we adapt. I can assure you it is much easier to adapt.

Once you have everything in place , it is just daily communication to keep the flow of things going. I cannot stress enough how much these two words mean. Consistent and consistency. You should have post it notes all over your home with these two words, and you should live by them and refuse to settle for any less.

Here is the thing , you already know your submissive, you already know you want to submit. You know your a slave , you already know you want to serve.
You do not want to be told to, you do not want someone to demand you submit. You should want to be in a place where you can do so willingly.
You want someone to step in and mold you.

You want a Dominant who can take what you have to offer and perfect it, and there is such a thing as perfection. You want someone who wants to grow with you and care enough to have the need to guide you.

You want someone who is going to be there for you, when times are good and when they are bad, you want someone who will understand your neediness and not see it as a weakness. You want someone who really understands you.

It is not science , it is not even math. It is both of you being who you are and wanting the same thing out of life. That my friend is not asking for a kidney.

Arianna grows almost daily , and now she is at the point to where she is able to express your inner thoughts and her needs , and it is me who adapts to her needs . In turn this allows her to grow and it gives her a chance to explore her submission…

The road is not hard and you can prevent pot holes.

Consistency

Vile

What I have Learned

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, betrayed, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, greed, Master, Masters, oral sex, pussy, Safe and Sane, self centered, self confidence, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , on September 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I learned about greed at an early age. I remember deer hunting at 14. I invited a friend, while hunting one early morning I shot a buck. We would clean right there on the spot because it was to hard getting the whole deer back home. As we were packing I noticed once we were through he had taking way more than half. That was the last invitation. I figured he needed it worse than I did so I said nothing.
Hunting was something I enjoyed it was my get away. I remember I would go squirrel hunting and I would take Mrs Wright my catch and she would cook squirrel dumplings for me.

I have learned that Drama is a cancer, and the only cure is to cut it off at the source. If you feed on their drama is just complicates your life.

I’ve learned that if people are to quick to help they have their own agenda.

I have learned once an abuser always an abuser, you are just wired that way, and there is no cure.

I have learned once a cheater always a cheater, yes you are just wired that way.

I have learned to keep my friendship base small. You cannot trust to many at one time, because all do not have good intentions.

I have learned that being confident you can get ahead in life.

I have learned you cannot live your life trying to be politically correct. If you live your life being politically correct you can never be yourself. In fact your life is a huge lie.

I have learned honesty is the best policy. You should never have to lie to get what you want.

I have learned religion is a huge farce. Religion is something people hide behind living off of false hopes.
Religion is nothing but greed, and it has brought down millions of people, and millions have been killed. Religion is greed and nothing more.
I am not saying there is no god, but I believe you can be right with the man in your own home.
People believe in order to be next to god you have to give money or your prayers will not be answered.

I Have learned the lifestyle has changed so much in the last ten years and abuse is running rapid. It is truly a shame how people can abuse and not have a care. To not have any compassion or care for someone’s well being. The explosion is due to the internet and like the drama it to is a cancer.

I have learned that greed now runs the world. Families are no longer families, they are more acquaintances, and they are there until you need something.

I have learned that if your partner will lay on her back and take what you give, she should be your only concern. Your partner should always come first no matter what.

In my eyes Arianna can walk on water, she is a true sign of perfection.

We spend to much time looking at faults, when really if you look at the good, and focus on the good, there are no faults. It took me years to learn to look for the good qualities.

I have learned there is no end to submission. If your submissive or slave is treated with respect, the submission will grow.

I have learned our community is no longer as close as we once were, and I find this to be alarming. We no longer look out for the ones who need guidance , advice, or may just need a push in the right direction, everything now comes with a price.

I will be your mentor but your going to suck my cock, or your going to fuck me, but I will help you. That is very unfortunate that we have gone in that direction.

At one time I had the complete set of the native American dawes rolls, and yes that is the truth. I would help people obtain their cards from the different tribes.
The thing is once I explained the steps I needed from them it was to much work.
Everything we do in life consist of one word. Effort.

I have learned real love is almost impossible to come by today. It seems most have their own agenda. When things go wrong it is easier to just pack up and leave.

I have learned drug abuse is no longer a habit that was once known to be part of the poor population. Our country has a huge prescription addiction problem.

Everything I have stated above also consist of one word. Greed

I have learned there are those who want what others have. Those who want to destroy homes, take away what someone else has built, but in the end they lose, and they lose everything, expecting others to feel sorry for them.

A man will destroy his home, and family over a little pussy, with no guilt or regrets.

Yes all of the above consist of one word as well.

KARMA

life

vile