You read you hear the word Training on a regular basis. You hear how some have been trained , you hear about those who want to be trained and why they want to be trained.
I have found over the years even though I had a mentor , I had some training I had to go through , more of a self training , things I knew I had to make improvements and different areas ..
At one time I had a very bad temper , it took me years to get it under control, it took me years to learn how to channel anger into positive thoughts. This was a must after all if I could not control myself how was I going to control someone else?
The first thing a Dominant will tell you is he is in full control, then comes the screaming and yelling calling you a stupid bitch, or at times even getting physical.
At times I have to make changes to Arianna’s daily activities , maybe adjust a rule a protocol , I change something up. I may see an area that needs improvement. I make the change many times without even saying anything, or her even knowing, that is how well I know her.
Just as a submissive’s or Slaves training is ongoing our role as a Dominant or Master is ongoing as well. I know on a daily basis there is something I learn, I want to gain more knowledge be it about life in general or about the lifestyle.
There are three major downfalls when it comes to any relationship, the first being communicating, second Trust and third anger issues, and for anyone to Master all three is nearly impossible.
Past relationships can cause your current relationship to crash and burn, if you bring either of these three with you. Being able to freely communicate is so important, the Dominant must allow theirs to openly communicate about anything without fear of retribution, if you cannot then maybe you need to rethink your current relationship.
There are those who crash and burn their relationship on purpose, I have a friend who has told me several she will purposely sabotage the relationship, just because things are going to good… I suppose this stems from past relationships that included abuse.
If I cannot control myself , if I cannot control my emotions , if I cannot control my temper , then how can I control someone else ? If I cannot control my own life, if I cannot make the correct decisions , if I cannot show respect , if I cannot be truthful , if I cannot be honest ? Then how can I expect someone to submit to me ?
The tables turn when it comes to the submissive or slave, you have to be upfront, you have to be able to communicate, you have to be honest , truthful, but most of all you have to want.
I would imagine or I know being Dominant or Submissive without knowing what or who we are can be pretty confusing. I knew early on I was different but until my early 20’s I never gave it much thought. I assumed every woman wanted to be tied up, spanked and fucked in all holes without asking. I saw women as an object to be used just for pleasure, and in some cases even a hobby.
Once you start being able to figure everything out most things begin to fall into place, then meeting people with the same interest. That was the time and point I started to grow , slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together..
What makes the lifestyle so awesome is we find our own place in life we need to be, it allows us to be who and what we are. It allows us to open up , communicate and share with others. I know for the longest I felt pretty lost not really having anyone to talk to, or sharing my thoughts with anyone.
Even dating It was hard to express my feelings and emotions when I did not even know what was going on inside my head, and there were not many woman who understood me.
What I have learned over the years is to try and understand others, while I may not agree we should take the time to learn when it comes to different kinks and fetishes. Today it seems we are to quick to judge others instead of trying to understand.
It was not until my early 40’s it hit me when thinking how training really hit someone , you actually change someones way of thinking, you change the way one acts, talks, walks and the way one dresses. You take things away and give as you see fit. We guide , we train , we give rules , we give the promise of being there , we communicate and yes at times we punish. This is a lot of responsibility , this is a huge task , and at times staying on task can become a task.
Over the years I made mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes and I made some over and over. Something I never did though was blame someone else, I knew when things went south it was my fault, but by the time you catch the mistake it is to late to take control again, mainly because the sub as seen that side of you.
You can only train someone if they want , need and are serious, if the sub is just going through the steps you are wasting your time and neither of you are able to reach your goals. I always started out with small task to see what the frame of mind was. I was and did not intend to go through the motions just to get my kicks, my time was way to valuable..
What type of Dominant are you looking for, maybe a Daddy , a Top a Dominant a Master all of these are things you need to consider. If your a Baby Girl why would you enter a relationship with a Master ? If your a Bottom why would you enter a relationship with a Dominant ?
What makes you a Baby girl ? What makes you a submissive or a slave ? What makes you just a Kinkster ? The Dominant or Domme should ask the same questions , what role does one want to fall into, where is the best fit, how much responsibility or control do you want..
What do you want out of being trained ? What are your goals ? What are your needs ? Has the training process been explained to you ? What does the Dominant want out of your training ?
The question is , What Do You Want To Do With Your One And Only Life ?