Archive for the Arianna Category

The Collar

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on January 7, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Collar to me is very sacred to me , it is not something that is given just because  it is earned.

When a couple gets married the two exchange vows , then exchange rings , this seals their fate , and love and now there is a piece of paper that says Husband and wife.

The collar is almost the same as the above but it runs deeper. The collar is a sign of ownership , one giving and one taking. Giving up control of ones life and one taking control of ones life.

If you just give a collar and no reasoning behind it , then it means nothing but if the collar is earned it takes on a whole different meaning.

I myself used two different collars , one was a collar of protection , this was used when going out so others would know the slave was with me , then the actual collar. The collar was earned over a period of 6 months.

You as a slave should have a deep feeling to earn your collar , you should want to strive to earn your collar. If it is just giving to you what meaning would it have ?

 

 

Imagine A Perfect World

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, commitment, communication, Dominant, In Service Slave, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on December 29, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Imagine a world without any problems , or imagine a world with the perfect partner , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , is it possible ? Imagine having zero drama , imagine no arguing , imagine receiving perfect service with no complaints , again is it possible ? Absolutely it is and more but with all of these rewards comes a little work.

The submissive or slave you have chosen to serve you was born to serve just as you the Dominant , Master or Owner were born to lead . Little did we know it would lead us down the road of kink.

Just because you meet a slave does not mean the slave is meant to be with you. Both have to have somethings in common outside of the land of kink and service , if not kink will be the only thing you have in common and the relationship will be short lived.

Knowing the slave , knowing the slave inside and out is very important before taking that step.  You have to be able to form a relationship based on friendship first , then slowly introducing kink.

If you start with kink then you have nothing else to build on , making conversation hard , making communication hard and it makes it hard for the slave to communicate when the time comes.

Nothing comes easy , everything we have we all had to work for. In a relationship if we do not work for it , at some point and time it will fall apart. Any type of relationship requires regular maintenance , if we do not in the end it will fail.

Learning to communicate is not an easy task , we all know how to talk and hear but to be able to communicate and listen requires practice but most of all it is something you have to be passionate about.

The problem with most D’s or M’s relationships just starting , is the lack of compatibility. If either have a need or needs and you give one or more up during the negotiations , in the end you will not be happy. Just because you are submissive does not mean you have found the right Dom and you can reverse that as well. As humans it is a need to have a companion and at times we tend to settle for less knowing its not going to work.

Try to picture a perfect world , your own world , a world you have complete control over , then you add the perfect relationship and both are attainable.

Meeting leaving sex out of the conversation is a must , and while it is hard to do it will prevent you from reaching your goal.  Knowing who you are trying to form a relationship with is most important. The problem is most men see someone who is submissive as weak and that is far from the truth. Men are natural hunters , the hunt then the kill and its over you move to the next.

I cannot stress enough on how much training will make a difference. One of the first words out of a Doms mouth is I am going to train you , then nothing happens. Training is mental not just for the submissive but the dominant as well. The training you used on the last will not work with any future relationships. The personality’s are different , the needs are different and the structure needed.

Making your slave your number one priority , the slave comes first and yes before family and friends. The life you have always wanted is right in front of you but now there are things that will come to an end. The life you have always wanted is kneeling right before you , hands face up laying in lap. It is you who has made the decision to take ownership.

Molding the slave to fit your needs and wants can happen but as with any relationship you have to put work into it , but living a Master and slave relationship will be much different. While in a vanilla relationship you did not train your partner.

You are going to mold your slave , walking , talking , how the slave stands and sits , even when it comes to sex. You will control how the slave dresses if clothed , hair color and nails.

I have always been a firm believer to train a slave you have to be able to reach out and touch , be able to look into the slaves eyes , the eyes tell all , the eyes tell the truth. I have not seen to many LDR relationships really work. Although today you have email , text , face time , you are still not in 100% control. Again I did not say all , just from my experience.

During the negotiations you present your needs and wants . Since you have I would assume giving the two a great deal of thought then you should stick to your guns. Once you give up one need you have become fair game and you will lose other needs or wants.

When out at local events there are those who take notice. When out I have 3 protocols that are followed. 1 do not speak to anyone even if spoken to , 2 speak when spoken to and 3 you are free to speak and have fun. People take notice how the slave stands , sits , how one is dressed , hair makeup. My slave is a direct reflection of me and my training , and when out my slave dresses like she is walking the red carpet.

I do not have to explain myself when I maybe change a rule or add a protocol but my slave may ask for clarification.

You the Dominant can have the life you want but as with anything nothing is free.

Vile

 

 

 

universe Continue reading

Life

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

It seems I have been MIA compared to my earlier days when it comes to my blog but as you know life happens.

On the home front life is still good and I continue to find ways to make things better. Work ,  relationship and life and juggling all three and keeping things in check can be a little work but in the end the work and effort will and has paid off.

As a master we have a responsibility to not only insure our home is safe and secure but it remains secure if something were to happen to me.

We are in the process of buying a house but it could not be just any house. The house had to have requirements before I would even give it a look. The number one thing was safety , it is my responsibility to insure our home is safe. Affordability is at the top again if something happened to me the home would continue to be comfortable and if something should happen Arianna could just pay it off. The house had to have gas since I also love to cook and I prefer cooking with gas that was a top priority and I refused to give in..

I remember my dad buying a chicken farm when I was a kid and even being so young I was thinking how easy is this. Now our farm had eight houses and each house held 80,000 chickens and the house sat on 10 acres . A older frame house with wood floors a wood stove for heat , no AC but it had a gas stove. We walked in a bank and two hours later we walked out a proud owner.

Times sure have changed now going into month one with just paper work , background checks , financial records going back over a decade , and explaining every penny we have spent over the past couple of years.

So my responsibility as a Owner is to make sure Arianna is taking care of first and for most as I stated above.

I was speaking with someone not long ago and we were talking about the very subject. The subject was brought up about how I should find someone who would be willing to step in and take care of Arianna.  Although I do have what I call a few close friends I do not know anyone who could step in and give the care that would be needed or truly understand her..

 

Just a update  but I will be posting more in the near future.  I have a lot of stuff I would like to cover and somethings have been on my mind…

Vile

 

 

Our First Swingers Club

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Submission, Submissive, swingers club, www.secretsfl.com on April 12, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Secrets Resorts and Spa , Arianna made contact with a fetlife group about going , and asked if we could check it out.

Secrets is a work in progress but very nice , the place has come a long way from what I have been told.

Two pools one heated one not, two hot tubs and two tiki bars. there are roughly 170 rooms you can rent although many have been converted into nice condos. A food buffet which is free and then a huge night club, with a full bar. While outside the music was good more of a 80’s rock but as we entered the Bar the music was Techno , Arianna was looking forward to dancing but the music was just not there.

Continuing the tour we hit the Dungeon , it was small but had a spanking bench , a Cross which was nice , a cage and a rigging area and a couple of tables. Then we were escorted to the play rooms , the first room was for couples who enjoyed being watched and moving on back there were several private rooms then one large with tons of mattresses. The sheets are changed after a couples leaves or can be changed anytime during play if requested just ring the bell .

Arianna and Lynn enjoyed the hot tub while I just sit around soaking everything in. The group we had met there was really nice and even though our lifestyles were completely different we were welcomed into the group.

Our Second trip we met friends there and obtained a 6 month membership. Each time you visit there is still a small fee to enter but there are different theme nights throughout the week. This coming Wednesday night is Karaoke and free well drinks , plus the buffet , how can you fucking beat that and at just 35.00 a couple that is a cheap night out.

Arianna fell in love with the place , the freedom and if needed we could rent a room for the night. She just loves the atmosphere and the people.

I am really into exhibition while Arianna and Lynn are not both are more conservative and I respect those boundaries  , I truly enjoy showing off my property.

Now the not so good when reading the rules , it seemed the dress code was very strict and I liked that. No shorts , no tennis shoes , flip flops , or Tee Shirts. Well this was not the case once everyone started rolling in. Out of the hundred or so people there were only a half dozen or so who read the rules as I did. You want your girls to dress up like hoes but you come in dressed like a slob.

The Dungeon was crowded , the Dungeon Master stayed on top of everything , watching and keeping the rules in check.

We went back on 4/11/2018 and found secrets to be very relaxing , the buffet was pretty good serving Brisket. The well drinks were free , I do prefer beer on tap its just colder but I had two beers and one well drink. The three of us chilled in the hot tub with two other couples and it was nice. Arianna likes Karaoke and the sound system was really nice..

The membership is 140.00 dollars a year for a couple and 60.00 dollars a year for a single female. When it comes to the single male the yearly membership is the same as couples but the event pricing goes up. Secrets is good about the male to female ratio.

https://www.secretsfl.com/

Really a nice place to relax.. If you are ever in the Orlando area check it out…

Vile

Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on April 8, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way to start out than a definition from wikipedia ?

A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females.[1][2] A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role

Female submission describes an activity or relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.

I like this.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Where did your journey begin ? Most will say at a very young age , while others are hit later in life , maybe a life changing event , a thought , words someone speaks or maybe you stumbled across a website and you were intrigued. Growing up submissive can at times be confusing because you know you are different but you just cannot figure it out. You may go through your life and never learn the definition of who and what you are. However you do know you enjoy service, you enjoy giving up control , you enjoy letting others take the lead. Someone will say at a young age there where thoughts of older men , or being kidnapped and used. I am not sure if all have these thoughts or just those who are submissive.

In our lifestyle there are a great number who suffer from depression , I have no data this is just from my experience in the lifestyle. I am not sure how the two are connected or if they are at all. Some are willing to share with others in the lifestyle while some keep things to themselves. So this is where the importance of finding the right Dominant , one who understands you and is willing to take the lead and guide.

Depression is not the end even for those who are Dominant , although in the past I have made statements to the contrary. With the right medications and the right submissive things can run smoothly. The problem would be a submissive who is combative , has a short fuse when it comes to temper , not following rules but most argumentative. Many Dominants though will hang on with the fear of losing a partner , the fear of being alone. The greatest fear when it comes to being human is the fear of loss , be it material , or a partner.

The good is you get pleasure by serving , helping others completing task on time and the rewards of being a good girl.

The bad , you are with someone who does not understand you , nor have they ever heard the word submissive or slave , submission. What they see is someone who is weak , someone who will stand and take verbal abuse and at times physical abuse , but after all is said and done you still stand tall and proud.

Some who are submissive not all but some do not really enjoy sex , what they do enjoy is knowing they have pleased. This is where their greatest pleasure comes from. Now do I have any data ? Absolutely not , I am just speaking from my own experiences in the lifestyle. When I meet someone I drill their mind , I want to know more about them than they know their own self. The knowing you have pleased someone , makes sex enjoyable , it makes you feel needed and cared for. You are willing to do things you never even thought of or maybe thought you would never do such things but you do because you have this deep desire to please.

Over the years the different roles have come to light , it is no longer just submissive , slave or dominant or master.  The daddy dom , the daddy dom master , then the master .The baby girl , the little ,Submissive , slave  and the list goes on and one so finding the right partner , someone who understands you is most important. We as humans by nature have to have companionship we need to be with someone even if that someone is wrong , not the right fit but they are filling that hunger for the time being.

How much are you willing to give up ? How much freedom are you willing to give up? Are you going to follow rules and rituals? Are you going to allow someone to take full control? Maybe you need more but your Dom is only dominant in the bedroom and you are more of a 24/7 how would that work ? Are you willing to compromise your needs for a little companionship?

What type of submissive are you? What type of dominant are you looking for ? We are all different , we all have different needs , we all have different taste , we all have different goals.

One of the biggest myths you will hear is a submissive does not have the right to say no. That is a outright lie. You as a submissive determine how much you will give , when you will give and how and where. Remember you are a submissive not a slave but the truth is even a slave can say no if they feel like they are in danger. There is also a on off switch and many times it confuses the dominant. Once you have had enough and you are done the word no will just flow.  Once you are done you are done , the feeling of being submissive for that time just goes away.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality knowing the difference before entering a relationship. Take your time and speak with other who are submissive , stay clear of dominants , but find out what others are thinking and doing. If you do not take the proper steps you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

How do you see yourself ? How do you envision your life? What are your goals?

Meeting a new Dominant you the submissive , the slave are in complete control until you feel the time is right to enter a relationship. You should be his number one priority , you should come first no matter what. If you go a day without hearing from him , you give your first warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated , the second time it happens you drop him like a bad habit, there is no strike three. How long does it take to answer a text? How long does it take to drop a email?

Vile

She Is Your Bitch Run Your House

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consistency, Master And Slave, Punishment, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , on March 26, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have had a few Dominants approach me , telling me that they let their feelings get in the way. When it comes to control , punishing or even giving out task , the biggest is when it comes to enforcing rules. The feeling of guilt like you are abusing someone , mistreating , being unfair , being to strict. Well! You did not have these feelings before you entered the relationship ,or when you both agreed to enter the relationship , you had everything planned out right ? You told the Submissive you were a dominant , you told her you wanted to take control , you gave out rules right?

Many over time begin to get this deep sense of guilt , like everything is abuse , maybe mistreating their partner but remember these are thing that were agreed on before you entered the relationship , so was it just Dom frenzy or maybe just a deep fantasy and instead.

When you both sit down and start talking about each others needs and most important what they Dominant lays out about how he envisions how the house will be ran. It is okay as a slave or submissive to express your feelings but to be outright argumentative is nothing more than disrespect and should not be tolerated. When should you question your Master ? When you see a bad decision  is going to affect you and your house , put you in danger or possibly homeless. This should include while out in public , if you have something to say it should be in private , calling your Master out in public is nothing more than being disrespectful. If there are no consequences to ones actions then the Master is no longer in control.

Neither Master or slave should be afraid to speak up , if you do not communicate the slave in a respectful manner the Master has no way of knowing what you are thinking or what problems you may have until you the slave blows up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Keeping that head space , one the collar if you the slave should ever have a doubt about your position in the home then reach up and grab your collar , if your Master requires you to wear one. It seems today very few Master require a collar for what ever reason , maybe he does not want to spend the money on one or he simply does not care. Putting rituals and protocols in place. Putting things in place even slave positions keeps the head space and is a reminder. Everything put in place has to be consistent or they will not work.

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Protocol

A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants.

Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.

Why would a Master argue with a slave ? What sense does it make for either to even argue with each other? If a Master will argue with his slave then he becomes the bitch.

The Master

http://bdsmwiki.info/Master

Values , and this is interesting….

Some commonly emphasized values consistent with best practices concerning a Master may include but are not limited to: (in no particular order)

  • Honorable behavior in word and deed.
  • Is in touch with their wants and needs; gives clearly stated expectations, orders and instructions.
  • A clear understanding of their own personal limitations and failings while consistently seeking to learn more and better themselves.
  • The ability to respect and forgive the personal limitations and failings of those that serve them while still helping them push towards and achieve self betterment.
  • Possession of sound judgement, logic, reliability and the ability to keep their personal affairs in reasonable order.
  • An amazing degree of control of temper and impulse.
  • Recognizes both service and Mastery as callings worthy of respect.

You set the rules , you sit the rules and protocols and you enforce consistently ,  Your house you the Master sets up how things will be ran. Many at sometime will begin to feel guilty about enforcing rules or afraid of rejection , or maybe even your slave will leave you. It is the slave who has to adapt to your way of living.

You cannot change up the rules after you have put them in place , rules can be amended but there are some who will change just so they can punish.

Keeping that head space , protocols and rituals along with a few slave positions , all of these not only induce good behavior but they are a training tool. Having to ask permission to do anything and everything even when it comes to scheduling a free day with family or friends.

Use your property and use on a regular basis , the slave is there for your use , your enjoyment and it is up to you if you let your slave get off. Play and do not share what you plan on doing but it is good to give warnings throughout the week. Take what you want when you want and how you want , this will also keep your slave in that head space.

A good Master shows control , not only at home but while out it is the Master who sets the example. The way your slave acts in public is a direct reflection of your training.

Do not make demands that are not reasonable , do not make demands that will set the slave up for failure. Do not make demands that would cause the slave harm or get into trouble.

Positive reinforcement goes along way , several times a week I tell my girls how much I appreciate them and the things they do. Reward when the slave does something good. The system put in place should be everything is earned nothing is giving. All of the privileges are just that privileges and anything can be taken back.

Restrict the space with in the home the slave is allowed to sit and the way the slave sits. While out my girls sit with hands in lap and are prohibited from crossing their legs. While standing the hands are clasped in front. All of these are reminders of the slaves position within the home.

The Master needs down time a time to relax clear your head , time alone , this is just as important as the slave having down time..

You can change plans when they are not working but never change goals.

 

Meeting A Dominant For The First Time

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Daddy Doms, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock on January 22, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know I have covered this topic before but here we go again.

 

What a fucking rush , meeting a new Dominant and your head is spinning a hundred miles an hour.

I want you to meet me at Denny’s wearing the shortest skirt you own and no panties. The answer you should give is I will wear something that is comfortable. The one thing you want to do is dress for success , you want to dress so when you have the first eye contact the Dom’s jaw drops open. The last thing I want to see is someone show up in a Tee , baggy jean and flip flops. You do not meet any demands until you and the Dom agree to some type of relationship. He should not try to impose any rules on you because he does not know you. He should not offer a collar because you have not earned it. Being offered a collar on the first meet is meant to be a head rush , it is meant to make you feel special and needy.

Call me Sir or call me Daddy , Master. Now why would I do such a thing? One making demands in such a short period is living off of a fed ego and nothing more and if you comply it will only feed him more.

Keep your meeting simple , meaning do not share any personal information including your address , until you have his address. If he is not willing to invite you to his home ask for a reason.

knowing who and what you are , just because you meet a Dom does not mean he is the Dominant for you. You have to have things in common besides BDSM. Even though you may live a 24/7 you still have to have a vanilla side at some point and time..

When you look at the BDSM side you still have to have things in common. One of the first questions you will get is are you Bi?  I am not sure why most require such a thing but that seems to be a trend and more so with new Doms. Are you poly? This is also a common questions because the Dom wants 2 maybe 3 or 4 more just like you. Are you into pain? Do you like anal sex? Are you into humiliation that is another popular question?

You have to know when to say NO , you are being interviewed but you have to interview as well. The Dom may say no eye contact when we meet and you would say I am not comfortable with that right now. The no eye contact is just a ego filler , makes his head swell and his chest stuck out like king kong. Most will require you to wear a skirt with no panties and again this is where you say NO. You do not submit to anything until you have agreed to enter a relationship.

You cannot begin training the first hour of meeting a new Dominant it does not work that way. The Dom has to know you , I mean really know you and know you better than you know yourself.  What worked with the Doms last relationship will not work with you , we are all different , personalities , habits and needs. What does the Dominant want to accomplish out of your training? What are the Dominants goals in the relationship? What do you want to accomplish ? What are your goals ? All of this takes a great deal of thought and its not going to happen over night.

Do not give passwords to your accounts , do not give banking information to someone you hardly know. There are two types of Dominants who will demand these, the ones who are insecure and the ones who have a ego problem. Trust also comes into play but this falls under being insecure. You could wake up the next morning and find your bank is empty , this has happened and it could happen to you.

The first thing a new Dominant will tell you is he will be there for you , he wants you to trust him. He will be your shoulder to cry on you can depend on him for anything.  Then you text him and a hour goes by then 8 hours a day maybe two and not a word and you sit there holding your cell phone and every time you hear that text sound you jump only to find its someone else. You then call and the first ring it goes to voice mail , hmmm interesting , but you toss it up to him being busy after all he has a career.

So remember the demands part ? Good because you have the right to make demands you did this the first time you met right? Nah you were to scared to , you thought if you said anything he would leave and never contact you again , after all he is the one and the only one right? Nah he is one of thousands who would jump at the chance to bang you , one of the thousands to fill you with the same crap.

You have the right to have 24/7 access to your new found Dominant anything less is just stupid. How long does it take to reply to a text or email? How long does it take to answer the phone and say hey I will call in a few?

Keep your legs and mouth closed for at least 60 days , this will tell you if the Dom is serious or not . If he demands you start your training by sucking his dick on the first meeting then just politely decline and leave , I can assure you sucking cock has nothing to do with training. Maybe at some point and time you may be instructed to do something different but sucking cock in a Denny’s parking lot is not training.

You must know where he lives and you must be able to come over when you want. You must want him to introduce you to his friends after all you are going to be a part of his life.

Family and friends are important even today I give the girls time off for both. Everything is planned a month in advance I know everything and I seldom allow any changes once its in black and white. Allowing down time is very important , clearing your mind like a one day mini vacation. You should be allowed to visit family and friends , this is what makes you complete. Again if the Dominant wants to keep you from family and friends the two things hes insecure or the ego thing , there could be nothing else. Oh he might say it will interfere with your training or you don’t need anyone but him. This is not true , you as a sub or slave needs some kind of down time, you need to take a breather , let your mind clear , relax , get your head together.

Many Dominants who are new are very insecure , these are the ones who keep you from family and friends , or it can be someone who just uses the word Dominant as a way to lure you in , these are the ones who you only hear from maybe once a week , once a month and just drop in bust a nut and gone again.

some of you may be ok with just being used as a piece of ass , and if that is your thing then go with the flow , be yourself , be happy but there are those who truly need someone in their life. There are those who crave submission on a full time basis. There are those who crave the structure , being with someone and just to find out your being used by someone who could careless about your feelings.

Questions to ask a New Dominant you are meeting? How long have you been in the lifestyle? What is I am not Bi? I say this because he will ask you if you are. What is I am not poly nor do I wish to be? Are you active in the community ? To me this is huge this shows he is serious about the lifestyle. He may say no I have to watch my career , but the fact is there are doctors , lawyers and bankers who attend functions. If he does not you then ask I want to be active in the community would you object? Why would he we all crave to be around those who have the same interest and the opportunity to learn from others ? What happened to your past relationships and do you care if I contact them? Do you know other Doms if so may I contact them? Why would he object to either question unless there is something to hide? What are some of your protocols both public and private? How long is the initial training and what do you expect to get out of it , meaning what are your goals? I did not bring up rules mainly because when you first meet a new Dom he does not know you well enough to give out any rules , with the exception of maybe like a bed time or a time to call or text. This is another if I text you I expect a answer are you going to stay in contact with me? The I am at work or I was to busy that answer in today’s times is just plain bullshit , it takes maybe 30 seconds to answer a text or a couple of minutes to shoot someone a email.

Just because you meet someone does not mean you submit , Just because you meet someone does not mean you should give in to their intimidation tactics. Never give your passwords or banking information , someone asking for passwords to your social  media sites has a huge problem with not only trust but insecurity. You do not want to wake up one morning and find you have a zero balance in you account. No matter who you are you need some privacy. You need family and you need your friends. Do not give in.

Vile