Those who enter the world of BDSM are really clueless , the first is the chat rooms which are really polluted , and most of the time is spent arguing over who is real and who is not. Private messages telling one to strip and kneel, or the hours of phone sex , sending pics and short videos.
The second are BDSM dating sites. If your looking for a partner in the lifestyle my number one choice is Fetlife. There are thousands of groups and any fetish you can think of, and within the groups are members profiles, you literally have your pick from thousands and you pick and choose who you want to contact.
Collarme.com is known as the meat market by Dominants, 90% of Collarme is spam and predators just looking for a piece of ass, or maybe some late night Head. ALT.com is getting just as bad if not worse, to have a pay site and allow so much spam , but they are making money and lots of it so who really gives a fuck.
It has been years since I have been in a chat room. as I entered the moderator wanted me to ask permission to enter, well yea go fuck yourself, I ask permission from no one. Then the Slave who was asking permission to enter has to strip and beg to enter. Okay if she agreed how do you know she really stripped. Just an ego thing I suppose.
The Fake Dominant will come off smooth at first , he is going to tell you everything you want to hear, he is going to sweep you off of your feet in just a matter of minutes. Yes it is true you will probably fuck on the first meeting because that is what he expects. or at least give head in the parking lot so you can prove your submission.
He will offer you his collar if not the first meeting , it will be within a week or less, and you the Slave not knowing any better will gladly except.
This is when the smoothness goes away. His personality changes he becomes more controlling. His communication has all but stopped, he does not praise you any longer. It is now about him and only him.
He becomes more controlling this is fear of losing what he has just gained. He starts to isolate you from friends and family. He no longer allows you to go out. Your time has to be accounted for. Now you find out he has a temper, the name calling starts the yelling and yes sometimes it gets physical. The comes the emotional black mail this keeps a tight rope on you. Just look what I have done for you, Making you feel guilty and the guilt comes from fear.
This is why I encourage other Slaves to interact with others in the lifestyle. I feel it is very important to allow a Slave to have friends someone they can speak to on the same level.
Once the relationship has ended it is the Dominant who ends it. He has already gotten what he wanted the challenge is over, there is nothing left to win.
So he will either cut off all communication, or just stay in contact enough so he knows he has some pussy on the side. Or you get a bogus email or text saying something bad has happened. I have seen this many times. While the communication is limited the reason being he is now on the hunt again. You are on the sideline until his next catch. Then poof like Casper the ghost he is gone.
Now your thinking I am full of shit, I can live with that. The thing is I have no reason to lie to you, because I have nothing to gain. A human lies when they have something to gain, or they just cannot help it.
When meeting a new Dominant , you the Slave picks the time, the location and what your going to wear. If you have any thoughts that he expects you to put out on the first meeting, just go to the bathroom and wash your hands, and keep on driving forward.
Think about it for a second. Your going to meet a man, a Dominant whom you know nothing about except for a few emails maybe a few phone calls, and your going to let him take you to a hotel and tie you up. Are you really serious ? Once you are tied up spread eagle and gagged guess what ? You are fair game. One or two things could happen. One you leave happier than you have ever been, because he has just fucked you like no one else ever has, or you wake the next morning black and blue and unable to go to work. Are you really going to put yourself in that kind of position ?
When first meeting a new Dominant okay lets say online. He should be willing or want to get to know you as a person. See what things you have in common, other than BDSM. If you start off with BDSM guess what ? That is all your going to have in common. Beware if sex comes up to soon. Beware if he demands you wear a skirt with no panties. Wear what you want, you have the right to refuse. If he says fine I do not want to meet then you know what head he was thinking of.
I have known many who have been raped, and they continue on the same path of destruction hoping that they will find the right one, allowing themselves to be used and abused.
Think before you act the right one will come along. Don’t get fucked up.