Archive for the Bad Dominant Category

The Fall Of The Married Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Baby Girl, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Consensual, Daddy Dom, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, http://bestslavetraining.com/, infidelity, Married Dominant, NCSF, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , on January 22, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to start off by saying I am really pissed off. This past year has really been fucked up , not with my life but our election process , protestors , crying when losing , but that is not what I want to cover right now but it falls into the same category.

Fetlife is an awesome social Site for like minded people. Fetlife has thousands of groups and forums to allow those with little to know experience to learn and meet others if you so wish….. Every kink you could ever think of some you know then others are like what the fuck.

Unfortunately there are stupid people in the world , there are those who do not give a fuck, and there are those who simply do not care. As with any site you have to be careful fuck even eharmony has had bad things happen , Christian Mingle , you know shit happens.

What I mean by shit happens there have been several rapes , probably more because over half go unreported.

As with any website when you take money you have to go through a Merchant to handle you’re credit cards. It turns out the Merchant thought Fetlife was a liability when some of the fetish’s that were listed, and many have been removed , as with some profiles and some even had to change the screen name.

 

I cannot express the caution that needs to be taking when meeting a New Dominant. You the Slave , you the Submissive , you the Baby Girl what ever you fall under you have to be careful.

There is a Vetting process you should put the Dominant through , it is you’re right to know the guy inside and out. You have the right to ask questions , email or text others he knows in the community. Lets face it anyone could say they are a Dominant , a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Most will tell you they have been in the lifestyle for 10 , 15 , and 20 years. Most will tell you they are very experienced , when in fact they do not have a clue and this is where you can get hurt. Once you are tied up spread open wide you are fair game and you cannot do anything about it until its over. Think about that really hard , I mean really think.

99% of Dominants are active in the community , roughly 75% want to make a difference in the community , they want to help. Those who tell you they are not you need to find out why? Some will say it is because of work they cannot be seen , but the truth is even like Munchs there are no signs up that say hey this is where are the Dominants and Slaves are meeting. I know Teachers , Lawyers , Doctors who are all lifestyle friendly.

You also have to find out if the Dominant will support you if you want to be active in the community that is what a Dom is suppose to do..

Then we have the Almighty Married Dom , the Married Dom who goes behind his wife and cheats. These are not Dominants these are dudes looking for kink. These are guys who want to find someone who will do things his wife will not.

You are there for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to be used , and you are used on his terms when he able to sneak out of the house. If you think about it if he was a Dom he would be running his own home and would not be looking for a submissive right ?

Having a Married Dominant is a lonely life , when you email or text most of the time it is a week or longer before you even get a response. The reason is I am to busy , work is really crazy , I just didn’t have time. Think about those reasons for a minute, really he has no time to text or email really ? It takes roughly 30 seconds to send a text and about a minute to send an email.

You’re training will consist of sucking cock , and laying on you’re back , getting you’re ass beat for no reason and you take what is giving because you feel you have something to prove.

Training is really an in depth process , it is a process that does not take a week , two weeks , three weeks I am talking months. Training is a hands on process, training is a eye to eye process. You cannot do it texting , you cannot do it face timing , or sending videos , naked pictures or doing anal training alone while he jacks off over the phone.

There are actually two more side to this story though and both are Okay if you are happy with seeing a Married Dom and getting banged once a month, yea the no strings attached thing and that is okay, it does not make you into something bad everyone has needs.

Then there is the Single Submissive who knows the game , she knows about the married Dom , she knows what he is up to , she knows he is sneaking behind his wife’s back and she knows he is scum , pretty much worthless.

I have blogged about Married men before , as a matter of fact several times and not one time has a married dude ever come forward and try to explain his actions.

So I recently received a comment from a single submissive who knows the game , but the trick is , while the Dominant is playing the game she is one step ahead. In fact she is playing the game , and she is running the show. She plays until she gets tired of him then drops him like a bad cold.

I love it because in the end , his ego goes from a 10 to about a 2.5. I cannot even imagine how someone would feel on that end of the stick.

When I responded I was ecstatic , in total awe , I had to re-read it a dozen times…

So here is it..

I’m a female sub. I love married men because I know where it begins and ends. Pants off, pants on, and back out the door to his miserable wife. I get off, he gets off, and we get on with our lives. I keep my feelings in check which is easy because the foundation of our arrangement is built on 1)lies (bc he’s a cheater) and 2)fantasy. I’m usually the one that has to remind these married slobs the shine will rub off, this is not everyday life. Unless you are already married and in a DS relationship. After 1 month I’m the one who usually gets bored like you said, married men get caught up and the attention is not there. I’m fairly new to this lifestyle. I’m also a medical professional and I’m a mother. I don’t need love from a married man! All I want in life is good sex with someone who understands my submissive side, to be the best mother I can be, and to further my career.

Bam how fucking awesome it that, like a Black widow use and then go in for the kill..

Remember you got to be safe , you have to think with a clear head, you have to ask questions and yes even ask for proof. If you meet up with someone and you have not told anyone if something happens then it is all on you…..

Make that safe call, take a pic of his tag , find out where he works , where he lives, where he hangs out. This is you’re right…

bestslavetraining.com is an awesome source for information…. Check it out

NCSF Has a ton of legal information when it comes to the lifestyle check it out.

https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

Vile

Your Going To Be Someones Personal Bitch

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, A slaves passwords, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, fucking, https://livingwithx.wordpress.com, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, New Dominant, piss, relationships, Slave, Slave Contracts, Submission, Submissive, Total Submission, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I use the word Bitch Loosely , to me it is more of a pet name, my bitch , my slut, my whore, my everything.

It is only our lifestyle you can teach someone how to sit , eat , dress, walk , talk, suck cock and fuck. It is only our lifestyle you can enforce rules , protocols and for the most structure. Our lifestyle is the only one where someone will fully submit without question or hesitation.

There are a few things in life that I strive for and thrive in. That is a well structured home, a drama free home and a home without fighting. I am and need to be in control of my home and surroundings.

I dated a hundred before I found the one. I did not fuck a hundred , I fucked the one. The one takes time, it takes dedication, and you need to stay on one path and not many.

After years of settling for less I had to do some soul-searching , because I had to figure out who I was , what I needed and the type of slave that would make me complete, someone who would compliment me. Someone who needed the above not just wanted.

So you can gain submission through intimidation but your really not accomplishing anything , you’re not earning anything in fact it is fake submission and that will only last so long. However if you earn the respect someone will want to follow on their own free will.

It is amazing to be able to sit back and watch the transformation when training someone, watching the changes and the one being trained does not even notice the changes.  Then one day it will hit them and it will be like holy fuck batman what the fuck?

Here is something to think about. Words yes I said words , words have different effects on people more so those who are submissive or slaves.

Words, No , Sit , stand , spread, inspection , suck my cock , lube your ass. These words have different meanings , depending on who you are speaking to and the depth of ones submission. Some may take those words as being funny, a joke if they are not in the right frame of mind.

You think about Rules , and Protocols all have a different meaning depending on where you are at in your head. The above should be a need and not a want. In the lifestyle wants have zero meaning, it is needs that should be met.

You are now someones property , you are now for someones use. You are going to do things you either do not like or have no interest in, but the same will go the other way.

If you are not in the right frame of mind you get nothing , you get nothing out of training or the relationship. What is more important if you are not in the right frame of mind or it turns out it is just a fantasy you have wasted someones time who has dedicated time into building a relationship , and all is for nothing.

This is part of a comment I just replied to , she had found a Slave contract online ..

I just read the most appalling example of a slave contract where it was proposed to beat her daily, keep her in a cage, make her drink piss and eat dog food, enslave her for life or sell her, own her bred kids as though chattel, and let her kill self when old and sick.

Okay pretty extreme , I have known Masters who were this strict, not to the point of killing ones self. I think if someone spent a great deal of time with someone the Master or Slave would take care of someone if they got sick.

If Arianna was Bedridden I would take care of her that is how deep much love is for her. I would not think of putting her in a home , because she has giving me so much, and I promised to take care of her.. Divorcing or separating is the easy way out today , why would you want to work something out? Maybe because it takes up to much of your precious time ?

You the Slave has to be in the right frame of mind, your Master is already there or you hope he is. A Master can let his feeling get in the way when it comes to enforcing rules, or even punishing.

You know what fuck looking at contracts online if you are both serious about having a paper contract you should sit down and come to some sort of agreement. When a submissive goes out and googles slave contract it scares the fuck out of her, daily beatings, drinking piss, being shared , eating dog food, really ?

How deep does your submission run ? What makes you think your submissive ? What makes you think your a Slave ? Have you really thought about training ? What do you want out of training ? Have you thought about what type of Dominant your looking for ? Have you thought about turning your life over to someone?

I want all of your passwords, I want access to your cell phone, I want your banking information.  My question is why? When I hear these words they come from a Dominant who has no experience, has a low self esteem. Has trust issues , or just a mental case.

A submissive contacted me last year and said she had giving all of her passed words and banking info , woke up the next day flat ass broke because he emptied her bank account, shut her phone off and had bought a new cell phone with her money. Did she call the police ? Nope , why? Because she was ashamed to tell anyone about her lifestyle.

In the end your going to be someones Bitch you have to decide which side of the fence you want to be on..

Remember one thing a True Dominant will never scream or lose their temper towards you.

It is not always the Dominant , at times there are those who get off on playing games. Mind fuckers is what I call them..

While your at it go check out this awesome blog , there is so much information..

https://livingwithx.wordpress.com/

 

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

Vetting The Dominant And Submissive

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, Bad Submissive, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominant and Submissive, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

In our crazy and fast moving world the relationships can get kind of crazy at times, but knowing who we are getting crazy with is very important.

Early on I made Contact with Arianna’s ex Master I wanted his thoughts not only about Arianna but his thoughts on what went wrong of course everything was her fault.. As you know there are two sides to every story maybe three at times, but I could tell by the way he was acting he was not being truthful with me..

You have to know the one you are getting involved with be it a Dominant or Submissive.

A couple of months ago a submissive packed up her whole life and moved 1500 miles having only spent time chatting online and on the phone. She contacted no one to find out who or what he was. Come to find out there was a Dr Jekyll and a Mr Hyde and he put her out on the street. I did offer to speak with both together but he refused he just called her a stupid cunt and wanted her gone…

If you notice it is never the Dominant who moves, it is never the Dominant who uproots his life , packs everything up , leaves his job and moves across the country, it is always the Submissive or slave.

I was speaking with a Daddy Dom and he was expressing his frustration with the Vetting process within the community. He stated it was not fair being treated different than other Dominants in the community.

It is a process just as obtaining a new job you have a 90 day probation period,while it is  unfortunate at times it does take longer in the lifestyle your either going to adapt or make your exit. The bottom line he is not being treated any different than anyone else/

Then you have first impressions and th9is is with Doms and Subs. The first maybe the second or third even but in time the true colors come out. It is either good or it is bad. Once someone feels comfortable the true colors start to come out this is also true when entering a relationship.

If your meeting a Sadist you want to know he knows what he is doing. If you meet a slave you want to know everything about her or him to include friends, this goes for Dominants as well.

The lifestyle a D’s or M’s relationship more so if your new is Taboo , you want to learn and explore, but knowing who is going to tie you up is also important.

In our lifestyle compatibility is really important , knowing you have more in common than just bondage and fucking. If your relationship is based on sex it will not work.

The most important thing is both should be willing to give 100% and nothing less. This falls under the part time dominant and the part time submissive if either is not full time and the other is it will not work.

If you look at the definition BDSM is runs much deeper than just sucking cock or taking it up the ass. It means much more than just beating your ass , or degrading you.

Know who and what you are, know what you need out of your relationship.. Know what your new partner needs in a relationship, being on the same page is very important but at times many are not even in the same book..

You learn to ask the right questions and if you know what to ask many times you get a blank stare and the conversation takes a different turn.

I have always found it very important for someone to be active in the local community or at least willing to take part in your interest.  I myself need that interaction with like minded people , those who somewhat understand me.

Your going to make mistake Dominant and Submissive the key is you learn from your mistake. Your going to be used and used and used until you learn from your mistakes..

Get out in the community take your time and meet people, meet people who will understand you.  These will be your real friends , these will be people who understand you , these will be people who are there in a time of need..

Think smart.

 

 

 

 

 

BDSM Relationships Move So Fast

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, cock sucking, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominant, Humiliation, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, Passwords, Slave, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Solitude, Verbal abuse, viledesires62@aol.com on March 6, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your traditional dating is pretty simple, you meet , talk go out spend time with each other. You go out to eat the movies , parks, kissing making out a little foreplay. You know this things tend to move slowly , both of you are on your best behavior trying to convince each other your the perfect fit.. If it works out it does if it does not oh well.

Then we cross the tracks , the other side of the world a new world unknown to most, something with a dark side , but in a way it is exciting.

Your train of thought changes as a female , you have not yet figured out where you fit in, all you know is what you have read really gets you going.

Now all train of thought is no longer rational , your not thinking clear, your brain is moving at Mach one and as of this moment what you have read , what you have chatted about in chat rooms, and maybe some small talk with women at work or maybe your to ashamed to bring it up.

Your Hormones have just kicked into high gear, all of a sudden you need BDSM in your life this is what you have been missing in your life…

You meet a Dom or Master in a chat room , maybe a Daddy Dom. You now let a complete stranger dictate who and what you are and the way words are put you may not fully understand but you go along with what your being told. He gives little hints using key words you pick up on.

Unlike the traditional dating 20 minutes into the chat , your asked what your limits are ? Limits what the fuck is that? Ahhhh your not sure so he begins to explain feeding you more. The next question is are you Bi ? That is always the first question, the second is do you swallow, do you take it up the ass? Do you enjoy pain? Do you enjoy humiliation ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? What are the shortest shorts you own? Do you go out in public without a Bra? How often do you Masturbate ?

If your not lock then comes the webcam , or kik then talking on the phone leading up to phone sex.

Here is what really gets me is the self punishment , making you punish yourself, spanking your pussy , putting clothes pins on your nipple and clit. Then the name calling starts and you go along with it because you do not know any better. The isolation kicks in keeping you away from friends and family. Your passwords and in most cases your banking information. I have seen a few get completely wiped out, and left with nothing.

If your local and you meet you are to wear a skirt or dress with no panties which I have never figured out. Once you meet about twenty minutes into the conversation he wants to start your training, you either get a room or if your dumb enough you take a complete stranger back to your home.

Then the cock sucking training begins , he blows his load down your throat pats you on your head and tells you to wait on his text..

All of the above happens in a matter of days not weeks or months, days and at times a day.

You are experiencing mass confusion your mind is stuck in neutral and you feel you have no where to turn. On the other hand you are taking the word of one person, then one who claims he can lead you down the right path, the one word you hear is Trust, trust me.

Your going to make mistakes , your going to make more than one , more than two or three and you will continue until you get your head straight.

Everything becomes a chore nothing is now fun, you dread seeing your Dom but at that moment and time he is the only one in your life.

All of the above has to do with your Hormones , and nothing more until your able to take a grasp on things.

The process is not as bad as you think it is, thinking through things is the difficult part..

Vile

 

 

 

Consent

Posted in 24/7, adapting, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook., human trafficking, Humiliation, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, pedophile, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized on December 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Only when you step into a relationship you fully understand can you consent.

There are two forms of No, the word its self and the look. It is up to the Dominant to know when no means no , it does not have to be verbal.

Someone I have never liked because I saw right through him was Michael Makai who has a couple of Books on BDSM relationships , and who is someone who does not follow his own teachings.

One of the books called Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook , is a total farce , someone giving advice and not being able to follow what he has written.

At the age of 17 years old you cannot consent , a 17 year old is a child , and it does not stop there in some cases 18 or 19 depends on the maturity.

So in the end we had a total fake in the lifestyle making fun of those who did buy into his thoughts.

I can imagine there are some running for their lives , wondering if they may have said something or even had contact.

Even as an adult if you do not have a full understanding when entering a relationship , and you have not been able to fully communicate there is no way you could truly consent.

Fully understanding who and what you are will determine if you can fully consent. Knowing exactly what you need and why you need it will determine if you can truly consent.

I have been asked if you can find a partner on Fetlife ? My answer was sure you can but look to the left at the groups they belong to.

If the groups are cum sluts , face fucking whores , Humiliation Nation, and there are no local groups or Munchs he is active in , then just click on the X.

What are you consenting to ? What rules are you consenting to? What type of play are you consenting to ? What type of pain are you consenting to if any? What part do you want to take part in the relationship ? Are you giving up full control ? Are you just a bedroom submissive ? Are you going to consent to sending nudes of you ?

You have to know what it is you need and the type of relationship you need, you have to know what type of Dominant your looking for to fit your needs.

Some misinformation in the Michael Makai news paper reports saying he had climbed to a leader in the BDSM lifestyle which is a total lie, to my knowledge he never attended and local Munchs or functions , it was all about his book and then the coloring book. He was and is a nobody…

There is a huge misconception about the lifestyle and people like Michael Makai sets us back another hundred years.

BDSM is not about abuse but it is portrayed as abuse , manipulation , pain , and being used. Even when you try to truly explain your relationship the tree huggers just cannot comprehend how someone would want to be treated in such a way…

Be careful and safe think with a clear mind , but most of all be who and what you are…

Make no Mistake Michael Mikai is no Dominant , he is not Master , He is no Leader in the BDSM community , he is pedophile.

 

Some Have A Very Dark Side , Michael Makai

Posted in Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Online Relationships, Charles Michael Segaloff, consequences, Convicted Sex Offender, Fake Dominants, http://housemakai.wordpress.com/, human trafficking, Living Poly, Manipulation, Michael Makai, morals, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, Polygamist, polygamy, Self Proclaimed Master, Slave, Submissive, Total Servitude / Solitude on December 26, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to say it was roughly two years ago I received a phone call , at that time I was very interested in starting a internet radio show , and today I am still pondering the idea. It is a long time commitment if I were to venture into such a thing.

The call came in and the number was blocked , I found that to be somewhat odd but I took it anyway , note this was already prearranged. I had a million questions and then a few more, as I was talking the answers I was getting , were in a belittling format , but I just looked over it because it was apparent the person I was speaking with on the phone was not who he portrayed himself to be…. It was not long after I unfriended  him from social media.

So a somewhat successful book it would seem he was at the top of the world , but I am sure the closet was getting so full the door would not shut, so he manipulated others to stand and hold it closed , if that makes any sense.

Thinking back about all the people I have met in the lifestyle ive noticed one thing , and that would be manipulation. Manipulation runs wild like a cancer, preying on those who have no clue about the lifestyle or maybe even infatuation plays a part , but there is a trigger..

No matter who you are, or think you are, or the game you are playing you always get caught. The world crashes down around you , the walls cave in around you and there is no place to run , or even any friends to turn to , because everyone runs and hides.

It is funny you think you have a million friends but then you find out your really alone, I cannot even imagine how that would feel, on any level.

So who am I speaking of ? I was not going to bring up any names but I have changed my mind.

If a 17 year old contacts a grown man , the only words that should be spoken is I cannot help you. Mike was contacted via face book this is where the relationship began.

I am speaking of no other than Charles Michael Segaloff , or as many know him as Michael Makai

I want to go over a few things first before I begin my rant. A Dominant is a leader in the community , reaching out to those in need , and not expecting anything in return. As we grow older we want to share what we have learned over the years, while my way or our way may not be yours maybe there would be something you could put to good use. While I cannot fix you or your relationship , maybe some of my advice just might come in handy.

When someone wants to profit from your needs or questions , this is not the trait of a real Dominant. I am proud to say I did not purchase any of his books, I did listen to about 10 minutes of his boring radio show.

You always get caught no matter how good you are, be it cheating , drugs , or picking up a 17 year old girl so you can have sex with her, more troublesome driving 2500 miles to pick her up and really thinking your going to get away with it.

Just thinking that makes you a dumb ass , and acting on it makes you stupid.

I cannot even think why A man or a Dominant could think that a 17 year old would even understand the lifestyle , but when you turn it into manipulation that makes it a different story.

When someone thinks they can just pickup a 17 year old girl and think no one is going to miss her or report her missing, then that makes you really stupid.

What I find really upsetting is he was able to form a 501 non-profit on the study of Polyamory, wow really ? Being a convicted sex offender since 2001, you would of thought someone would of caught that..

I am going to share some recent articles along with news paper releases..

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bdsm-author-allegedly-lured-girl-small-town-sex-family-article-1.2475835

http://www.kswo.com/story/30818181/lawton-author-charged-for-bringing-teen-from-new-york-for-sex

I also have the Arrest Warrant that was shared with me on Facebook , which was more than happy to share all the emails and chats, as they should have…

So it is not like the lifestyle already has a bad name , I am not sure if this will make national news or not Mike is really a nobody…

 

 

 

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

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