In our crazy and fast moving world the relationships can get kind of crazy at times, but knowing who we are getting crazy with is very important.
Early on I made Contact with Arianna’s ex Master I wanted his thoughts not only about Arianna but his thoughts on what went wrong of course everything was her fault.. As you know there are two sides to every story maybe three at times, but I could tell by the way he was acting he was not being truthful with me..
You have to know the one you are getting involved with be it a Dominant or Submissive.
A couple of months ago a submissive packed up her whole life and moved 1500 miles having only spent time chatting online and on the phone. She contacted no one to find out who or what he was. Come to find out there was a Dr Jekyll and a Mr Hyde and he put her out on the street. I did offer to speak with both together but he refused he just called her a stupid cunt and wanted her gone…
If you notice it is never the Dominant who moves, it is never the Dominant who uproots his life , packs everything up , leaves his job and moves across the country, it is always the Submissive or slave.
I was speaking with a Daddy Dom and he was expressing his frustration with the Vetting process within the community. He stated it was not fair being treated different than other Dominants in the community.
It is a process just as obtaining a new job you have a 90 day probation period,while it is unfortunate at times it does take longer in the lifestyle your either going to adapt or make your exit. The bottom line he is not being treated any different than anyone else/
Then you have first impressions and th9is is with Doms and Subs. The first maybe the second or third even but in time the true colors come out. It is either good or it is bad. Once someone feels comfortable the true colors start to come out this is also true when entering a relationship.
If your meeting a Sadist you want to know he knows what he is doing. If you meet a slave you want to know everything about her or him to include friends, this goes for Dominants as well.
The lifestyle a D’s or M’s relationship more so if your new is Taboo , you want to learn and explore, but knowing who is going to tie you up is also important.
In our lifestyle compatibility is really important , knowing you have more in common than just bondage and fucking. If your relationship is based on sex it will not work.
The most important thing is both should be willing to give 100% and nothing less. This falls under the part time dominant and the part time submissive if either is not full time and the other is it will not work.
If you look at the definition BDSM is runs much deeper than just sucking cock or taking it up the ass. It means much more than just beating your ass , or degrading you.
Know who and what you are, know what you need out of your relationship.. Know what your new partner needs in a relationship, being on the same page is very important but at times many are not even in the same book..
You learn to ask the right questions and if you know what to ask many times you get a blank stare and the conversation takes a different turn.
I have always found it very important for someone to be active in the local community or at least willing to take part in your interest. I myself need that interaction with like minded people , those who somewhat understand me.
Your going to make mistake Dominant and Submissive the key is you learn from your mistake. Your going to be used and used and used until you learn from your mistakes..
Get out in the community take your time and meet people, meet people who will understand you. These will be your real friends , these will be people who understand you , these will be people who are there in a time of need..