Archive for the BDSM 101 Category

So Your Thinking About BDSM

Posted in Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM 101, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Dom, fucking and sucking, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on May 18, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

A year ago I would of Pimped out Fetlife and there is still a lot of good info to be found as long as you do not comment or ask a question.
In the Beginning Fetlife was an awesome source of information and people willing to help. Today that proves not to be correct and the problem falls back on the group leaders not monitoring what is being said.

So you have done research , maybe you have made a few friends on fetlife , if your a submissive that is very important to meet others like you , you may be different as far as your thoughts maybe your kinks , the rules you want to follow and how you see your everyday life.

You can line up a hundred submissives and walk down the line and everyone is different, you can line up a hundred Dominants and every one is different, this is why the research is so important.

Many times you see yourself as one way but a Dominant will paint you a different picture , and when this happens it can cause confusion on your end.
If someone is trying to change you, then you are not the one for them, and that is okay because that is not the only Dominant or submissive in the world.

Your mindset you have to have the right mindset when entering a relationship, and yes again you have to have a plan. You have to know what you want and what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship.

Our life is based on only two things , and those two would be Choices and Consequences. The result you are in control of about 98% of what happens in your life , with the remaining two percent leaving room for errors.

What kind of Submissive are you ? what kind of Slave are you ? What kind of Baby Girl are you ? How much control do you want to relinquish ? How deep is your submission ? These are all questions you need to ask yourself?

As I stated above research, research and more research is needed. Although there are thousands of websites and social groups many can and will pollute your mind. What you read is someones opinion , and only their opinion. I take what I read with a grain of salt mainly because I have my own vision. My own vision , a vision I have planned out for the present and the future.
The thing we have to know is everyone is different and their vision is different , and there are those who have no vision, I suppose some just wing it. Taking what comes and goes and not worrying about the choices and consequences.

You can never tell someone who or what you are , if you do they are trying to change you as a person and not accepting you for you. Although you are going to change , you want the change on your terms.

Your mind is going to race a thousand miles an hour , your thoughts and feelings will change on a daily basis, your needs will change on a daily basis until you figure everything out , or you may not figure everything out. You may need someone to take you and guide you , that is not changing you it is guiding you.

You should never let someone define who or what you are. Your a slave not a submissive , again that is someones opinion or someone wanting to change you , and again it is only you who knows who you are.

If your a baby girl or a submissive maybe a slave and all three of these have one thing in common once in a relationship you are going to notice you are growing more dependent. Knowing who you are will allow you to grow and you want to grow with someone who wants you to grow. If your going to grow somewhat dependent on someone you want it to be with someone who has your best interest in mind.

The lifestyle is not difficult , it is the thought process and defining your role that can be difficult. Having the strength to speak up and express your feelings or thoughts.

Something that really bothers me is when you hear another Dominant putting down another Dominant or saying he does not know what he is doing. The dominant is clueless about the lifestyle or he is a fake.
That is an opinion and opinions are like assholes everybody has one. Oh you need to read this book or that book, again that is someones opinion and what works for one will not work for another.

I have said before we are visual and if you google BDSM and click on images you get a definition of what most think BDSM is about, pain and humiliation. You hear but you do not listen, you see but you only see about 35% of what your looking at. A drive by shooting and twenty people see the same car but when questioned no one gives the same description.

If your going to allow a Dominant to train you , he must have a clear vision , he must have a plan and be able to explain what he is doing and why.
Training is meant to provide structure , guidance , self confidence , stability , security , and in some cases improve ones self esteem. Training is about open communication. If your training is about sucking cock or taking pain you are not into then you need to rethink your situation.

You have to be who you are not what someone else wants you to be..

Why is our Government so fucked up ? Because a group of men who cannot come to an agreement on anything. The thing we know is they do not have our best interest in mind. The same goes with a room full of Dominants , you will not be able to get two Dominants to agree on anything and chances are they do not have your best interest in mind mainly because someone wants to change who you are instead of helping define who you are. Hmmm did that make any sense ?

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Vile

I Can’t Feel Sorry For You

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM 101, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Dominant, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Giving Head, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock on September 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do try and give advice, the advice I give it from a males point of view. I am not here to lie to you , nor do I have a reason to lie. People lie because they have something to gain.
I do not even know you, so if you think about it I have zero anything to gain. Did that make sense ?
Why do I share with you? Because I do not want you to go through some of the things women have gone through with me in the past.
I have been on the predators side, I have been on the hunt for easy prey. I knew who and what to look for. I would use and use until I grew tired of you, or maybe I would just get tired of you being fucking needy, or your whining got on my nerves. Maybe I fed off of your self pity to get what I wanted, nah I did, but you can only eat so much, and the same old food gets tiring.
Just because I fucked you did not mean I liked you, just because I fucked you did not mean I wanted you around.

This is why it is important to ask questions, this is why there are people out here that will give you advice and good advice. It is up to you to decide if your going to listen, or your just going to take the ball and run.

What hurts is being lied to, what hurts more is being led on to believe something that will never happen or come to light.

You know when your sitting across the table talking if you are being lied to or not, or being fed a bunch of bull shit, you know this but there is something in your head that pushes the ignore button.

I blog because I want to share, I blog because it is an outlet, it is my place to come when I just want to get away. No one has ever seen me post anything that is negative about the way my life is going, or how fucked up my day is, or how fucked up my life is.

So why would you want to get on here and blog about how fucked up things are, after you have been told ? You asked others for their opinion, you asked for advice on what you should do, you did not listen, and then here we go with the poor me blog.

Everyone of you are better than that, everyone of you are smarter than that. Most of you have made some good friends on here, I know I have.

While it is true we want to know how your day is going, we want the awesome.

The reason Arianna never watches the news anymore is just because all there is , is bad news very little good.

You know what you want out of life, and you are all to good to settle for less.

BDSM in a D’s or M’s relationship for the most is a mind thing, getting in your head, once that happens, man it is so hard to break away.

I lost a good friend last month to suicide, very young a whole lot of life ahead of her, but for her it was easier to check out.

Hook up with a good friend stay with them and in a time of need pick up that phone. This is no game, and it is unfortunate there are those out there that do not care, if your here tomorrow or not.

Game plan you have to have a game plan going into a D’s or M’s relationship, if you do not have a plan, or any expectations you will fail. The question is how many years do you want to waste, how much time do you want to throw away on something your not sure about.

If you ask for advice, and most of the time you ask more than one person, because your first answer is not what you want to hear so you move from one to another hoping someone will say what you want to hear. The bad news is if they tell you what you want to hear, it may be bad advice..

If your in a bad relationship, you need to communicate, you also need to put your foot down and tell them you want a time limit on when things are going to be fixed, because if they are not, you are walking.

You have to ask yourself a few questions. Why am I doing thing? Why am I allowing me to put myself through this mess? Why am I allowing someone to use me?

You have to want to stand up for yourself, you have to have a need and a goal in life..

You Baby Girls out there. You should have goals, and your Daddy should be helping you reach those goals, that is what a Daddy Dom does.
He should support you no matter what you want to do. He should set goals for you, and make sure you stay on task.
Your Daddy is there to support you, not bring you down.

The problem that most of you have is your Daddy is married. I am not sure why this is the trend today. In the last 5 years or so there has been an explosion of Daddy Doms.

The bad news is, if your Daddy is a Doctor and he is married to a doctor, and you work at Wendy’s guess what? Yea you already know.
If your Daddy works at Wendy’s with you then your chances are good.

This is the game plan I was speaking about, Baby Girl, Submissive, or Slave, you got to have a plan, and you cannot get off track.
If you give in anything that you have hoped for in the future will be gone, and the ball is no longer in your court.

99% of our problems are self inflicting, the other 1% is shit that falls from the sky.
You have your plan and you stick to it. I cannot express enough how important it is to do things by the book no matter how much it sucks, by the book. You do what your suppose to and that 99% will begin to drop, until everything is going your way. I promise the math will work out.

Make sure your Dominant has a plan as well, and do not be afraid to ask what the plan is. It is very important you know everything up front….

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Vile

The Book BDSM 101

Posted in abuse, Advice, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM 101, BDSM Communitys, books, control, Daddy Dom, Dominants, Fetish, kinky, Married Dominant, Master, Masters, Meeting a new Dominant, Rules, slave, submissive, WRITING A BOOK on January 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know the funny thing is, we all write our own book. We have an entire book in our head, and everyday we turn a page, page after page , chapter after chapter , The only thing with this book there is never an ending.

To write our book we all do research , we read, we listen , and we watch. So we take a little from different books, and we write our own.

In our book we are in control of our lives, while writing we are able to control the story. We control the characters in our book, we control who enters our book , we also control their outcome. We are in full control.

Every Master, Dominant, submissive, slave, Daddy Dom , baby girl has their own book. We decide what we want to share, and not share, again we are in full control.

White writing your book if you run across a fake Dominant you have the control of hitting the backspace key. You can erase that part of your book, you have that control. If you meet someone who is abusive you have the backspace key. You may use the backspace key a thousand times, maybe more because you are the one in control. You are writing your own destiny.

Your book can be about drama, it can be an action book, it can be a romance book. It can be a book about confusion, sorrow , it can be a book about mistakes, or we can write a stupid book, again we are in full control.

BDSM 101 we are all different, we all have different needs, we all have different kinks. What I like or how I live you may not like, the same goes for you, I may not like. The key is to respect everyone. To love everyone, and be there in a time of need. We are such a small community, we are unique , special. We are very few.

It would be great if there were manuals we could pick up and read , kinda like a chilton’s repair manual online for cars. A book or books full of references that could tell us what we are doing wrong, but there is not. We write our own book.

We have control over our book we can make it fiction or non-fiction it just depends on the individual and what they want out of life.

Some in their books for what ever reason crave abuse, while other want peace. Some want structure and rules, while others crave drama.

We all write our own book , we all have BDSM in our heads, we all know who we are and what we need.

So to all those who are submissive, to all those who are a slave. You need to sit down in front of your computer, open word, at the top you type Chapter One my world of BDSM

From that point on you are in full control of the outcome of your book. You get to choose your character , you get to choose your Dominant and how you want your Dominant to act. You are writing your own book.

While others do write books and we all take in their information, we need to remember those are just opinions, of ones thoughts. Just as I write. You read my opinions my thoughts you take in or you just laugh. This is why it is so important to write our own book .

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Vile