Archive for the BDSM 24/7 Relationships Category

My Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mentor, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , , on July 16, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

By the early 80’s I had somewhat of a grasp of what the meaning of BDSM meant , but I did not know how to really implement anything as far as building a relationship.

I had lived with chong for almost 7 years and we really just winged it even after chong moved beth in. Beth was someone I really disliked but only went along with it because it was a need for chong.

Shortly after chong had left and went back to Korea , I guess I went through a early midlife crisis . This is when I thought I was missing something in life but little did I know it should of been left as a passing thought. I had to get married , I wanted the house with the fence , the dog and kids. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake I would ever make in my life.

I knew before I married it was a mistake but I had put a plan in place and I was going to stick to it. Nine miserable years just short of ten years and I was free. Something I learned early on as a Dom was I had morels , I placed standards on myself when it came to my integrity and I would not bend. The duration of my marriage I remain Loyal , I never stepped outside of my marriage. I felt that any Dom who claimed to be such should have higher standards but through out the years I have found many do not and just as many lack integrity. Many associate BDSM with just fucking and kink nothing more and then they complain when things go south.

I divorced and both went through a paralegal to complete the paper work. I had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but soon after I realized 85 a week was really nothing.

I left with nothing and about 1200 dollars in my pocket , to make things worse I was in between jobs. I rented a apartment for 600 a month and I talked the landlord into letting me make payments on the deposit.

While sitting in the waffle house one night , just getting off of my day labor job , yes day labor paid daily. Anyway I over heard two taxi drivers talking about how much they made that day. One was 250.00 and the other boasting about the 560.00 he made that day. Bam the next day I applied , passed background check then drug test and I was set.

The first 3 months I found to be hard , I did not know the ropes but little did I know things would change. The owner of the company Francis took a liking to me and gave me two dedicated runs daily that would give me a take home of about 250.00 dollars a day plus what ever else I made.

Soon after I bumped my child support up to about 150.00 a week because I knew how hard it must be for a single mother to try to raise a child..

Sometime passes and came the breakup , while in the hospital my slave left and moved on. Wow what a rough year that would prove to be. After leaving the hospital it would take me almost a year to recover. The only thing that kept me a float was the two dedicated runs I had , other than that I slept in the car while waiting on a call.

I pulled up on the taxi stand where most drivers sat through out the day waiting on a call. I seldom sat there , mainly because I had those two dedicated run and a dozen of regulars that kept me running most of the day. I pulled up next to this car and I noticed it was a new driver. This guy looked like a pissed off santa clause and I am just looking at him , he looks at me and says well does that cock sucker you have work ? I said excuse me really? He stated well if you are not like most of the bitches here speak the fuck up.

Wow! What in the fuck crawled up your ass and died you old mother fucker , did someone piss in your glass of Im pissed off at the world today?

Then out of nowhere he shouts fuck , I forgot to feed her. So I asked what? He stated my bitch is chained to the floor and she cant reach the fridge. You have your dog chained up? No you stupid mother fucker I would never chain a dog up , my slave you ignorant fuck . Then he started his car and drove off.

Later that night I was thinking about this old dude for what ever reason , I could not get him out of my mind. Thinking there was someone else out there like me , well kinda like me , I was not as grumpy.

Somehow Animel had the ability to pull in some very beautiful women and I remember one who is still in my mind today. She was half American and half Taiwanese. Probably 5’1 and less than 100 pounds. As I had mentioned while driving a cab part time , I took a call over the radio and pulled into this apartment complex and out came walking this drop dead gorgeous woman well young woman , I am guessing in her mid 20’s. It was like a movie , time seemed to stop and as she walked her hair was blowing in the wind. She wore this crop top and a pair of Daisy duke shorts and sneakers. She was not very friendly and really pretty snobbish so I just ignored her and gladly took my 40 bucks.

Several months later I went over to Animels to borrow some tools , I was changing a motor in a 71 Monte Carlo . Animel and his grumpy ass mumbled and pointed towards his shop and as I was going through his tool boxes I heard a slight moan . Walking around his dune buggy he had been building for years , I see this bitch chained to the floor and when she looked up at me , I said well , well, well look at what we have here. I yelled out yo dude you have a bitch chained to the floor. Animel yelled out don’t  feed her yet. So I picked up the tools I needed and walked around the dune buggy and just looked down at the woman and mumbled , fuck me and walked out.

Animel had been living in the warehouse for several years , I really thought the setup was pretty cool. As I walked out I looked at him and just starred and Animel blurted out what dick head? I said nothing and walked out.

As I stated most of what was shared I did not agree with but what I did learn I put it to good use. Sometimes you can listen to someone and only hear what you want and your brain just disregards the rest maybe you know you are doing that or maybe you do not.

 

What I did learn was the mental side of the lifestyle , control and not being controlling , and the need for open communication and listening.

Last year I received a call around 9pm  from someone I had not heard from in several years and was asked if I heard ? Then I was informed Animel had passed , I was stunned and felt great hurt. What is weird it affected me more than when my own parents passed , I felt like I had a great loss even though we had not spoken in 5 years.

A mentor , a teacher , someone you can confide in , someone who will guide and bring out your short comings.

I never knew for sure but I believe Animel was a trainer. His relationships were short but very intense . One day the slave was there and 2 or 3 months would pass and the slave was gone as fast as she appeared.

There were no task giving , no test , just hours and hours of conversations , questions and sharing life experiences.

One topic I concentrated on was Behavior Modification , changing someone to fit my needs and my needs only. Changing habits , the way someone spoke , acted in public and private , the way one sat and even walked , and all can be done without the slave even knowing. This is what I not only wanted but needed.

I learned anger had no place in a Master/slave relationship , how could a master be respected if he was full of anger and rage ? Every time , you scream , call names or even getting physical , verbal abuse is just as bad as physical , each time you lose a little more respect.

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Need To Strip

Posted in adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, cock sucking, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Sex and Submission, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , on February 5, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna walked in the house , I was sitting at the dinning table and I said stop right there.

You need to strip , take all of your clothes off. You will not be allowed any clothing unless I give permission , this includes company coming over.  I stood up and walked over to her took her hand and started walking . I stopped in front of the couch and pointed at the floor. This is where you can sit , on the floor in front of me. I then walked over to the dinning table and pointed at the floor , this is where you will eat dinner. Besides the bed those two places are the only places you are allowed to sit.

The next couple of hours I remained silent , just observing as Arianna sat on the floor wondering what I was thinking. Later in the evening I walked Arianna to the bedroom laid her down crawled on top , I came inside of her and got off and just walked away without saying a word. I was thinking to myself , my property I will use when I want.

Later that night we were talking and I explained to Arianna in 90 days you will know my needs , what I expect. She then asked how ? You will watch and listen , do what you are told when you are told and told how to do it. Arianna thought I was setting her up for failure.

The next 90 days Arianna spent a great deal of time on her back and sucking my dick. The idea behind that was to use as much as I could to let her know that is what she was for. I remember the first time Arianna sucked my dick , I was thinking this bitch is a keeper and today she just keeps getting better. The using was very important during training. The purpose was to make it clear in her mind she was here to serve and reminded her of her place in the relationship.

Remember it is the slave who must adapt to your way of living , your home , your rules , your protocols.

Over the 90 days I started introducing rules and protocols , I started to control the way she spoke , walked , sit , how she would interact with others . The protocols I introduced were important to me , this was important as well because after all Arianna would be a direct reflection of me.

I controlled the way she dressed , her nail polish , her hair style and color and at one point I shaved one side of her head.

At times I used different forms of Humiliation , this was to set the reminder who was in charge and who was not.

How do you get to know your slave ? You let them talk , talk and talk and you listen. You cannot begin to train or issue rules unless you know who you are entering a relationship with. Having open communication , your slave or submissive has the right to speak and express their feelings . You want the slave to feel comfortable enough knowing they can come to you and speak about anything and be respected and knowing you care and will not judge.

I arranged a protocol dinner where Arianna served dinner and supplied drinks and after everything was dished out , Arianna was allowed to sit at the table for the first time.

I started introducing Arianna to friends I knew in the lifestyle and we attended Munchs together.

Over the next 90 days Arianna started to become a little more comfortable but still had trust issues. We continued to communicate and we talked for several hours daily.

From the day we met is was exactly 6 weeks when Arianna moved in. We would of moved into her place but it was to small for the two of us. Arianna had a really nice small two bedroom Apartment in the historic district and I loved it but it was just to small for the two of us..

I have moved passed the need to inflict pain , my needs were more on the mental side of things. I wanted to get into Arianna’s . It took me years to realize getting into someones head was far more effective and taking the sadist side of things. Truth be known I enjoy showing Arianna off so marks and bruises would not be very appealing.

Our negotiations lasted about a day , it was not a 8 hour conversation , but we did converse on our needs , her needs , my needs and wants.

I had made up my mind I was not going to give in on any level and I was going to get my way or it would be noway.  If you are entering a relationship in the lifestyle and you give in to some of your needs , there will come a time when the need or needs will come up and you have already agreed on certain things.

When I trained I focused on my needs and wants. Sitting down and drawing a picture in my mind on how I saw my everyday life in the present and future.

Dressing , when going out I myself dress very nice and in my mind if we were going out my slave would dress like she was walking the red carpet. The slave is a direct reflection of her Master. It also shows the Master cares for his slave.

Okay this is a short blog ..

I truly appreciate everyone who stops by.

Vile

My Soul Searching

Posted in Adapt, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, blow job, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants Protocol, feminism, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Safe and Sane, Slave, Slave being used, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Before meeting Arianna I was single for a little over two years , my you it was by choice. I had spent that time in doing some deep soul searching and I needed to find out a few things about myself. One who was I , I mean really I needed to know who I was in terms of the lifestyle. I cant remember back far enough when I had what you would call vanilla friends and my circle of friends in the lifestyle well I could count on one hand. There are reasons I keep my circle so small , one being if my circle is small and I am in contact with someone on a regular basis and I know I can turn to them ,  then I can consider them to be a friend. Even social media like Facebook or Fetlife I am not a friend collector , after all what is the point of having 2000 friends if you are never in contact with them?  Two I needed to find out what my needs were , what type of relationship did I need to have to keep the fire inside going ? Three what type of woman did I need in my life , was it a submissive ? Was it a Slave ? Or the last thing that popped in my head was she to be property ? There are clear differences between the three and each Dom or Master or owner differs as well , after all we are all different.

Knowing those three things before you enter a relationship is very vital when it comes to having any type of successful relationship but more so when it comes to our lifestyle.

Now during the 2,5 years I was single I did date and the dating process was so I could eliminate what I was not looking for and again I wanted a better Idea as to what I truly needed out of a partner…

One date I remember submissive saying I do not swallow , now sex was really down at the bottom of my list but to tell me you are not going to do something is a strike , and another no anal for me I get nothing out of it. It was obvious we had different out looks when it came to a relationship because it was not about her it was about me. I do not like bondage it does nothing for me , another I do not like humiliation it takes me to a bad place , the list went on and on. So at the end of the dates I would pay for the dinner and explain we were way to far apart to be able to come to any type of an agreement when it comes to a relationship. You mean because I do not like anal you do not want a relationship ? You are 100% correct that would be a need for me and while anal is not at the top of my list I may at times go a month or so just ass fucking , but of course then I always want to finish in the mouth. ATM is my favorite word..

Being a Dominant just did not fit me , this is mainly because a submissive has the right to say no. Being a master there are still negotiations which meant something on my check list could be marked off , yes such as no anal , or no sex when I dont feel like it or I am to tired. Tired really ? All you have to do is lay on your back I bust a nut and get up and you can go back to being tired.  I am to tired what the fuck does that mean ?

I wanted the word NO wiped from ones vocabulary , I cant , I wont. I wanted and needed full control over someones life, I would be responsible for taking care of everything , I would meet ones needs but then I expected my needs and wants to be completed again after all it was about me.

First entering the lifestyle the first slave I met was a total Masochist and needed humiliation just to survive , now how awesome was that ? Well one would think they struck gold but in time I found the Humiliation to be difficult because each time I had to out do the last. The pain part I learned where I could hit and where I could no that my friends is very important because you can really fuck someone up and try explaining that to a Judge. Sherrie wanted a relationship but I did not and while we dated for almost seven years I never not one time fucked her , yea that is the truth. Now she did however suck a lot of dick and I mean a lot but I never fucked her. I did fist her pussy and ass she really got off on that. I would stop by her work and insert a coke can and come back several hours later so I could take it out.  Driving down Hwy 95 in Daytona one time we were pulled over , and I am thinking what the fuck. Sherrie was sitting in the passenger seat butt ass naked holding a huge ass dildo. So the cop walks up and looks in the car and I am thinking this is not going to be good. He simply asked if everything was ok and Sherrie said yes. She was giving a ticket because her tag had expired. The cop never said anything about her being naked , I am guessing the size of the dildo did shock him because it took two hands to hold it.

Years and years past since the late 80’s and while I thought all of my relationships were on spot they were not and each one failed because of me. They failed because I was not willing to commit the time needed and it was pretty much one sided , which now it is pretty much one sided but what makes it different now is I give back , on my terms..

Now you are thinking the kind of relationship you want is impossible. You would never find a slave who would just submit to your every need right ? The key word is patience , good things come to those who wait and most of the time just like my now relationship Arianna fell right into my lap out of the sky. Speaking to a Dom one night and him and I are pretty close with our thoughts when it comes to ownership , anyway we were talking after a MAsT meeting one night and he stated I was lucky and just like I thought he said it was like Arianna fell from the sky as a gift.

I have been very blessed over the past 6 years and knowing many more years to come is more of a blessing. I am also blessed to live with not one but two women Arianna my slave and Lynn our submissive. Arianna completed most of Lynns training taking a huge weight off of my shoulders. Our house runs smoothly and without a glitch , both girls get along with each other.  There is zero Drama and zero problems yea sometimes I cannot believe how smoothly things are going.

Negotiating our relationship was really pretty easy it was my way or no way. I was straight forward and to the point. The thing that blew my mind was Arianna said one word, Okay. That threw me off for a few minutes but I did not show it. Arianna then explained her needs , now in order for me to get what I want I knew I had to give back and her one and only request was to be micromanaged. This was a area I had zero experience in , even asking others in the lifestyle I was told it was way to much work let her go..

Remember the slave must adapt to your way of living , your life , your needs and your training.

Training is something I take very serious and I put a lot of thought into it. What worked for the last slave will not work with a new one. The rules are different , their personality is different , their mindset is different and of course needs. If all the needs are met there are no wants.

I asked the question several times are you sure ? Are you sure this is the path you want to take? Each time the answer was yes and so our journey began.

I am more of a Mental Owner , in order to control someone you need to be in their head , you need to know what makes them think the way they do , their habits , why they have those habits. You have to know their reasoning , now that part is deep. You have to know what makes them think the way they do. Once you are inside as confusing as it may be you are now in full control. The hard part is knowing what to do , when and why. If you fuck something up you gotta fix it so be careful.

What I do in a sense is strip one of ones dignity , I take everything away that was a need and turn them into privileges. I took all clothes away including when company came over , again depending who it was. I took all furniture away including being able to sit at the dinner table. I controlled shower time , bed time , food that was prepared. I controlled hair color , nail polish and I controlled what clothes would be worn outside when we did go out.  I controlled the way she sat , how she spoke and who she spoke to. I used her and used often. I used without a word , I used every hole , I let her know I was taking what was mine.  The slave is yours , your property , you own after all they gave you that right. Use and use how you want and when you want. While I am not a huge fan of Humiliation I do use some form during my training , again this is to reinforce our positions within the home.

Breaking a rule must be a serious offense , the slave forgot to text this is part of training. There is no reason to go off the handle. Training is about changing habits and depending on who you are working with you are looking at 90 days or more before most things catch on. We as owners must show patience.

Keeping that mindset , putting protocols in place and staying on top of the protocols , ownership is not a 9 to 5 job. As Dominants , Masters and Owners we must be available to our partners 24/7 no questions asked.

The one weakness that can kill a M’s relationship is when the Master feels guilty about punishing , or slips and does not stay on top of things , begins to let rules go without consequences. Once you change and your property has seen the difference it is impossible to turn back the pages.

The words I wish I was a better Dom or a better Master , I am sorry I am a failure. Think about those words yea pretty pathetic and your property may not say anything but the same thoughts are there. There are thoughts you keep to yourself , it is actions and words you share. The property looks up to us , not only for a relationship but guidance , direction and depends on us to keeps the rules we have put in placed enforced..

I had thought about Blogging about feminism but as stated above I will leave that as a thought..

Vile

Communication

Life

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

It seems I have been MIA compared to my earlier days when it comes to my blog but as you know life happens.

On the home front life is still good and I continue to find ways to make things better. Work ,  relationship and life and juggling all three and keeping things in check can be a little work but in the end the work and effort will and has paid off.

As a master we have a responsibility to not only insure our home is safe and secure but it remains secure if something were to happen to me.

We are in the process of buying a house but it could not be just any house. The house had to have requirements before I would even give it a look. The number one thing was safety , it is my responsibility to insure our home is safe. Affordability is at the top again if something happened to me the home would continue to be comfortable and if something should happen Arianna could just pay it off. The house had to have gas since I also love to cook and I prefer cooking with gas that was a top priority and I refused to give in..

I remember my dad buying a chicken farm when I was a kid and even being so young I was thinking how easy is this. Now our farm had eight houses and each house held 80,000 chickens and the house sat on 10 acres . A older frame house with wood floors a wood stove for heat , no AC but it had a gas stove. We walked in a bank and two hours later we walked out a proud owner.

Times sure have changed now going into month one with just paper work , background checks , financial records going back over a decade , and explaining every penny we have spent over the past couple of years.

So my responsibility as a Owner is to make sure Arianna is taking care of first and for most as I stated above.

I was speaking with someone not long ago and we were talking about the very subject. The subject was brought up about how I should find someone who would be willing to step in and take care of Arianna.  Although I do have what I call a few close friends I do not know anyone who could step in and give the care that would be needed or truly understand her..

 

Just a update  but I will be posting more in the near future.  I have a lot of stuff I would like to cover and somethings have been on my mind…

Vile

 

 

Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on April 8, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way to start out than a definition from wikipedia ?

A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females.[1][2] A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role

Female submission describes an activity or relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.

I like this.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Where did your journey begin ? Most will say at a very young age , while others are hit later in life , maybe a life changing event , a thought , words someone speaks or maybe you stumbled across a website and you were intrigued. Growing up submissive can at times be confusing because you know you are different but you just cannot figure it out. You may go through your life and never learn the definition of who and what you are. However you do know you enjoy service, you enjoy giving up control , you enjoy letting others take the lead. Someone will say at a young age there where thoughts of older men , or being kidnapped and used. I am not sure if all have these thoughts or just those who are submissive.

In our lifestyle there are a great number who suffer from depression , I have no data this is just from my experience in the lifestyle. I am not sure how the two are connected or if they are at all. Some are willing to share with others in the lifestyle while some keep things to themselves. So this is where the importance of finding the right Dominant , one who understands you and is willing to take the lead and guide.

Depression is not the end even for those who are Dominant , although in the past I have made statements to the contrary. With the right medications and the right submissive things can run smoothly. The problem would be a submissive who is combative , has a short fuse when it comes to temper , not following rules but most argumentative. Many Dominants though will hang on with the fear of losing a partner , the fear of being alone. The greatest fear when it comes to being human is the fear of loss , be it material , or a partner.

The good is you get pleasure by serving , helping others completing task on time and the rewards of being a good girl.

The bad , you are with someone who does not understand you , nor have they ever heard the word submissive or slave , submission. What they see is someone who is weak , someone who will stand and take verbal abuse and at times physical abuse , but after all is said and done you still stand tall and proud.

Some who are submissive not all but some do not really enjoy sex , what they do enjoy is knowing they have pleased. This is where their greatest pleasure comes from. Now do I have any data ? Absolutely not , I am just speaking from my own experiences in the lifestyle. When I meet someone I drill their mind , I want to know more about them than they know their own self. The knowing you have pleased someone , makes sex enjoyable , it makes you feel needed and cared for. You are willing to do things you never even thought of or maybe thought you would never do such things but you do because you have this deep desire to please.

Over the years the different roles have come to light , it is no longer just submissive , slave or dominant or master.  The daddy dom , the daddy dom master , then the master .The baby girl , the little ,Submissive , slave  and the list goes on and one so finding the right partner , someone who understands you is most important. We as humans by nature have to have companionship we need to be with someone even if that someone is wrong , not the right fit but they are filling that hunger for the time being.

How much are you willing to give up ? How much freedom are you willing to give up? Are you going to follow rules and rituals? Are you going to allow someone to take full control? Maybe you need more but your Dom is only dominant in the bedroom and you are more of a 24/7 how would that work ? Are you willing to compromise your needs for a little companionship?

What type of submissive are you? What type of dominant are you looking for ? We are all different , we all have different needs , we all have different taste , we all have different goals.

One of the biggest myths you will hear is a submissive does not have the right to say no. That is a outright lie. You as a submissive determine how much you will give , when you will give and how and where. Remember you are a submissive not a slave but the truth is even a slave can say no if they feel like they are in danger. There is also a on off switch and many times it confuses the dominant. Once you have had enough and you are done the word no will just flow.  Once you are done you are done , the feeling of being submissive for that time just goes away.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality knowing the difference before entering a relationship. Take your time and speak with other who are submissive , stay clear of dominants , but find out what others are thinking and doing. If you do not take the proper steps you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

How do you see yourself ? How do you envision your life? What are your goals?

Meeting a new Dominant you the submissive , the slave are in complete control until you feel the time is right to enter a relationship. You should be his number one priority , you should come first no matter what. If you go a day without hearing from him , you give your first warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated , the second time it happens you drop him like a bad habit, there is no strike three. How long does it take to answer a text? How long does it take to drop a email?

Vile

My Dark Side

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, Consensual, Consistency, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, I own every hole, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am like a perennial flower , you think I am gone , then Boom I pop back up.

 

I suppose we all have thoughts and most of us even have fantasies and the same with both , somethings are just better off left as thoughts or fantasies. Sometimes our sexual desires can even become dark , the art of controlling every move , tied up , with a hood , total darkness. I have a set of leather cuffs that was made just for Arianna , and I love chain , thick chain then pad locked. If you use rope if someone wants out bad enough they can do it , it may take a while but one can escape. The Hood I have is made from spandex but it has a blindfold inside , so there is total darkness. I believe there may be a touch of fear when one loses their sight.

I suppose as a Dominant we all at some point come up with what we consider to be twisted thoughts. I am not speaking of any physical harm , I do not like putting any type of marks or bruises on my property , I am more mental , I enjoy being in the head , all the mind fucks , the not knowing.

I have been thinking of like a breaking weekend , kinda like a kidnapping , of course part role play but the not knowing what will happen. Just using for a whole weekend not saying a word. A couple of months ago I made a nice spreader bar and have yet to use it , timing has been one thing it seems we are always busy.

I find a few things to be humiliating and one of my favorite is face fucking , man I love that gagging feeling , and that sounds like a song to me. While sex is not the most important part of a relationship , there are somethings that are important to me and one is oral sex , I have had many a blowjobs but have came across very few who were either really good at it or those who tried really hard and was just not there. Anal sex is very important to me , the reason it is about submission , submission in my eyes. I not only want every hole , I need every hole.

I have acquired a few toys one being something I have been after for a long time and that is a spanking bench , the other was giving to me is a really nice fucking machine. The machining is almost brand new and was very expensive when first purchased. The girls do not really care for it but I enjoy watching it being used.

I like being in control , I take that back I need to be in control , I am in control of not only my life , my surroundings , and if I make a mistake then everything falls on me. I am in control at work for the most and 99% of the time I get what I want.

As a Dominant you have to be able to separate your feelings , you can still care for and even love , but when it comes to using what is yours , you have to be in a different frame of mind. What happens often is a Dominant will start to feel guilty , the feeling of guilt when playing , you start to grow a soft side and when you do this it changes who you were when the two of you first met. When you change , when you let your feelings get in the way , your slave will be the first to notice the difference , the mindset of the slave will change and will start to push barriers. Once you lose control of the mindset , once you lose control , it is impossible to regain. The slave has already seen that soft side , the side of feeling guilty and there is no turning back.

Just as you train your slave , you the dominant has to train your mind , this is a mistake I made more than once and I always wanted to blame the slave. It is very important to lay all of your needs on the table when you start to negotiate the relationship , If you truly have a need for something do not give in , this just means the slave you have met is not the one for you. If you do give in , the subject will come up again at some point and you cannot go back on your word.

We take 1 we give back 5 , what I am talking about is the more we take the more we have to give back. We must remain positive and give positive feed back , we need to give that reassurance , we need to praise even at times when not needed. I express my appreciation all the time , even telling I appreciate everything you are doing after all it makes my life easier.

To train is to change someones thought process , make changes in ones behavior , make changes to fit your needs. The mindset of the Dominant who own , your slave is valued property. The slave is for your use , be it for service , communicating , or sexual. Lets drop the kink side of things for just a second. Once you are inside the head , you know what makes the slave tick , the thought process , why the slave does certain things , the decisions that are made , to include their interest , likes and dislikes , foods and movies , music. Days that are special , Birthdays , Holidays , places the slave likes to visit , you get to the point you know the slave better than they do , then and only then can you begin true training.

You pile on a bunch of senseless rules that has no meaning , except to worship your cock , or not allowed to wear panties or maybe a bra. Those rules have zero meaning , the only benefit you get is getting your dick sucked but that comes later because you want the slave to want to please you .

I am huge on Behavior modification but it has to be consensual , agreed on with both Master and Slave and it has to be a need for the slave , a true need.  The relationship needs to be consensual , there needs to be negotiations prior to an agreement. You do not have to explain what your training will consist of , or when it will start.  If you explain anything a rule , maybe a protocol you explain it in such detail there are no questions.

Just because a rule is broken does not mean punishment , after all there are mistakes. Life does happen , things get in the way , if there is a resistance to something talk and find out what the root of the problem is. If a rule is broken does not mean you beat the slaves ass or smack them around , you sit down and talk like two adults and find out what happened. My two favorite words are Choices and Consequences. There has to be consequences to ones choices , just as there has to be rewards for the good that has been done. If we as Dominants take one we give back 10 , if we take two we give back 20. We have to give more than we take.

I have thoughts , thoughts of just rough raw fucking , like maybe a rape scene , or kidnapping , long hours of bondage and humiliation. My favorite before anal is face fucking , probably the biggest rush for me , the control and at times the forcing.

Maybe I am not as dark as I thought looking back over what I have written , to me I am normal. I do know when you are in control you are making decisions for two or three depending on your home , but everything is on the Dominants shoulders.

I get pleasure from using what is mine , I get pleasure in using as I see fit to please me.

Vile

 

 

 

 

Obtaining Deeper Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on December 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Deeper submission is something wanted by both the Dominant and the Submissive , however many times the submissive will want but is clueless about how to achieve such a goal. This falls onto the Dominants shoulders in guiding the submissive.

While trust is a huge factor there has to be some guidance , in assisting the submissive reach their goals.

Training is huge , it will be the main factor in not only the Dominants goals but the submissive’s as well.  I have said this before having a plan before you begin training is a valuable asset , having goals , setting rules and protocols. I have found it to be difficult to implement any rules until you truly know someone. You can add rules or take rules away but to alter a rule can had adverse effects. Rules are to enhance the submissive or slaves life. While protocols are meant to enhance the control of the Master or you could say protocols are rituals. The last sentence were words from my slave Arianna.

I myself begin training and continue without my slave knowing , I am going to try and explain some different methods but training will vary from submissive to submissive or slave to slave. Each personality is different , needs are different and habits are different.

I was speaking with another Dom yesterday and I was explaining he had to be able to define himself and know what he wanted in a submissive and what his final goals would be. It sounds pretty simple yes? Well truth be known it is not simple and it is a lot of work and it is work that is continued for the long term. I was chatting with a Gorean Master who takes in part time slaves for a weekend , a week , a month , 6 months and so on but nothing is set for long term. My time is more valuable than that but I also realize we are both on different playing fields. I do however use some of the Gorean rituals and protocols.

First your potential partner must be real and serious, by this time you should of seen if it is what I call sub frenzy , or just a fantasy because once someone steps into your world it is game over.

When you the Master explains something it should be in such great detail , when you are finished there are no questions , but you will ask if there are any questions , this is done each time.

What is wrong ? That question is so lame it has no meaning and should be dropped from your vocabulary. Instead try this, What is on your mind? Boom the first question puts up a defensive wall , guarded not letting you in. What is on your mind? What are you thinking? If there is anything the words will flow like a water fall I promise you, this will make life show much easier.

A Dominant or Master should never lose your temper when it comes to your property. Anger shows a lack of control , if you cannot control your anger how can you control someone else?  You must be respected before you can expect someone to submit. Five years I have never raised my voice towards my slave or my submissive 5 fucking years. Why? My slave Arianna is in service to me as with Lynn , both serve me , both take care of my needs. Both respect me and both depend on me , I have never used fear as a form of Domination .

Training you must be fair and the few rules you have in place should not be changed or altered. Now this is just my opinion and it works and worked for me.

Everything is earned , nothing is giving and what is earned can be taken away at the snap of a finger and this must be known.

Sitting at the dinner table is a privilege not a right. Sitting on the couch or chair is a privilege not a right, watching TV , texting friends , using a pad , showering , doing hair, nail polish everything is a privilege and privileges are earned not giving.

You the Master wants full and complete control , you the Master wants nothing less than full submission. You the Master wants loyalty , you want your needs met service and sexual.

Clothes in the house should be a privilege , I myself do not allow any clothes on unless I approve , but I am dressed , my right not a privilege.

Trust , Trust is HUGE , Trust is the main factor in the beginning of any relationship but even more so in our lifestyle. You can forget about any level of submission until you have full TRUST. You the Master will ask the Submissive or Slave do you trust me? The answer will always be YES. Dude it is a LIE a big FAT LIE there is no Trust there they don’t even really know you , why would you even ask such a question? Do you know why the answer was yes? Because it is what you wanted to hear and nothing more. You will know when the Trust begins and it will not happen over night. Now while you have been building this thing called TRUST you can fuck it up and the drop of a pin , meaning the first time you get stupid , lose your temper , screaming , calling names out of anger and if you can and that is a HUGE if you can start to rebuild what you fucked up.

Controlling your temper is much like gaining trust it does take time and it took me a very long time to learn how to channel my anger into something positive. Thinking before you speak will be your best friend , taking that deep breath , a silent deep breath and think about what you are going to say. That one short pause can save you weeks or months of work.  If you have anger issues you have zero business trying to own or be someones Dominant. Do I get mad? Absolutely I do I blow the fuck up but and there is a but not at my girls. Never. Remember they are in service to me.

Here comes the needy , here comes the codependency , but first things first I have to say because I will get a fucked email , not every submissive or slave is codependent , there I said it so deal with it. At any rate here it comes and it will hit you like a fucking train and you the Dom will deal with it because remember ? You wanted a relationship , this was the one and you are now president and will have to take that call at 3 am or what ever time 24/7. You have to be there 24/7 because you agreed to it and you said you would. So man up.

Actions speak louder than words , Actions are everything , Actions are visuals and we as humans are Visuals we see and for the most we believe even when it comes to watching news. You know what I am talking about so the visual comment is real. Actions mean everything. You sat your submissive down and you painted this white knight on this beautiful horse riding down the trail and swooping the submissive up and taking her back to your kingdom. You opened the can of worms now either you man up or you tell the truth , hey I am just looking for a quick fuck and nothing more. Be Honest.

Say what you mean and do what you say , actions speaks louder than words , you can now start building that bridge of trust. You will know when trust is achieved because a whole new room will open up and you will see a whole new openness , you will see a whole new person , someone who now desires to please , someone who has the need to please.

I love the word USE , and the word should be used often when you first begin your training. Sex is much different in our lifestyle mainly because in my eyes it is my right to use my property when and how I want , again the word USE. In the beginning stages using your submissive plays a very important role and there are two reasons. One it sets the scene and two it puts your submissive in her place. Now comes the hard part like when in a vanilla relationship the male spends much of his time begging to get some pussy , while the Dominant see’s sex as being a right. Sex is about me and only me. Yeah sounds pretty cold but there are times I will please but that type of pleasure is my call. Using your property is a reminder , it puts one in their place.

Taking privileges away , what was once so cherished now becomes a privilege as I stated above. Again everything is earned and what is earned can be taken back at any time. Limit the places in your home in which the submissive has access to , such as a spot on the floor next to the couch yea that one and only spot. Sitting next to you on the floor while you eat, and the submissive must not begin to eat until you have taken the first bite.

I find speaking in thirds to be very effective taking the words I and me out of the vocabulary . Replacing with your submissive or this submissive. Your Slave or this slave , the words I or me no longer has any meaning. This is a reminder of who and what she is and what her place in within the home.

This is done on a daily basis you cannot train 4 days and take 3 off it breaks the cycle. Your property will make mistakes and and verbal correction is all that is needed. The first 90 days will be the toughest but you should start to see things fall into place. Some catch on faster than others and raising your voice or beating her ass make no sense.

You cannot demand submission if you do it is fake submission. You cannot demand love if you do again it it fake love. Putting fear in someone makes no sense , you gain absolutely nothing with the exception of a swollen ego.

Respect your property and never ask them to do something you yourself would not do. Never ask for anything that is totally unrealistic , or something that would cause someone to fail. Always be positive and praise goes a long , long way.

I give reminders all the time to both of my girls , hey you know I truly appreciate everything you do. This is positive reinforcement , it is a builder and makes one feel proud and will want to please more.

I am not sure if I left anything out?