Archive for the BDSM 24/7 Relationships Category

Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on April 8, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way to start out than a definition from wikipedia ?

A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females.[1][2] A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role

Female submission describes an activity or relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.

I like this.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Where did your journey begin ? Most will say at a very young age , while others are hit later in life , maybe a life changing event , a thought , words someone speaks or maybe you stumbled across a website and you were intrigued. Growing up submissive can at times be confusing because you know you are different but you just cannot figure it out. You may go through your life and never learn the definition of who and what you are. However you do know you enjoy service, you enjoy giving up control , you enjoy letting others take the lead. Someone will say at a young age there where thoughts of older men , or being kidnapped and used. I am not sure if all have these thoughts or just those who are submissive.

In our lifestyle there are a great number who suffer from depression , I have no data this is just from my experience in the lifestyle. I am not sure how the two are connected or if they are at all. Some are willing to share with others in the lifestyle while some keep things to themselves. So this is where the importance of finding the right Dominant , one who understands you and is willing to take the lead and guide.

Depression is not the end even for those who are Dominant , although in the past I have made statements to the contrary. With the right medications and the right submissive things can run smoothly. The problem would be a submissive who is combative , has a short fuse when it comes to temper , not following rules but most argumentative. Many Dominants though will hang on with the fear of losing a partner , the fear of being alone. The greatest fear when it comes to being human is the fear of loss , be it material , or a partner.

The good is you get pleasure by serving , helping others completing task on time and the rewards of being a good girl.

The bad , you are with someone who does not understand you , nor have they ever heard the word submissive or slave , submission. What they see is someone who is weak , someone who will stand and take verbal abuse and at times physical abuse , but after all is said and done you still stand tall and proud.

Some who are submissive not all but some do not really enjoy sex , what they do enjoy is knowing they have pleased. This is where their greatest pleasure comes from. Now do I have any data ? Absolutely not , I am just speaking from my own experiences in the lifestyle. When I meet someone I drill their mind , I want to know more about them than they know their own self. The knowing you have pleased someone , makes sex enjoyable , it makes you feel needed and cared for. You are willing to do things you never even thought of or maybe thought you would never do such things but you do because you have this deep desire to please.

Over the years the different roles have come to light , it is no longer just submissive , slave or dominant or master.  The daddy dom , the daddy dom master , then the master .The baby girl , the little ,Submissive , slave  and the list goes on and one so finding the right partner , someone who understands you is most important. We as humans by nature have to have companionship we need to be with someone even if that someone is wrong , not the right fit but they are filling that hunger for the time being.

How much are you willing to give up ? How much freedom are you willing to give up? Are you going to follow rules and rituals? Are you going to allow someone to take full control? Maybe you need more but your Dom is only dominant in the bedroom and you are more of a 24/7 how would that work ? Are you willing to compromise your needs for a little companionship?

What type of submissive are you? What type of dominant are you looking for ? We are all different , we all have different needs , we all have different taste , we all have different goals.

One of the biggest myths you will hear is a submissive does not have the right to say no. That is a outright lie. You as a submissive determine how much you will give , when you will give and how and where. Remember you are a submissive not a slave but the truth is even a slave can say no if they feel like they are in danger. There is also a on off switch and many times it confuses the dominant. Once you have had enough and you are done the word no will just flow.  Once you are done you are done , the feeling of being submissive for that time just goes away.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality knowing the difference before entering a relationship. Take your time and speak with other who are submissive , stay clear of dominants , but find out what others are thinking and doing. If you do not take the proper steps you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

How do you see yourself ? How do you envision your life? What are your goals?

Meeting a new Dominant you the submissive , the slave are in complete control until you feel the time is right to enter a relationship. You should be his number one priority , you should come first no matter what. If you go a day without hearing from him , you give your first warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated , the second time it happens you drop him like a bad habit, there is no strike three. How long does it take to answer a text? How long does it take to drop a email?

Vile

My Dark Side

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, Consensual, Consistency, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, I own every hole, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am like a perennial flower , you think I am gone , then Boom I pop back up.

 

I suppose we all have thoughts and most of us even have fantasies and the same with both , somethings are just better off left as thoughts or fantasies. Sometimes our sexual desires can even become dark , the art of controlling every move , tied up , with a hood , total darkness. I have a set of leather cuffs that was made just for Arianna , and I love chain , thick chain then pad locked. If you use rope if someone wants out bad enough they can do it , it may take a while but one can escape. The Hood I have is made from spandex but it has a blindfold inside , so there is total darkness. I believe there may be a touch of fear when one loses their sight.

I suppose as a Dominant we all at some point come up with what we consider to be twisted thoughts. I am not speaking of any physical harm , I do not like putting any type of marks or bruises on my property , I am more mental , I enjoy being in the head , all the mind fucks , the not knowing.

I have been thinking of like a breaking weekend , kinda like a kidnapping , of course part role play but the not knowing what will happen. Just using for a whole weekend not saying a word. A couple of months ago I made a nice spreader bar and have yet to use it , timing has been one thing it seems we are always busy.

I find a few things to be humiliating and one of my favorite is face fucking , man I love that gagging feeling , and that sounds like a song to me. While sex is not the most important part of a relationship , there are somethings that are important to me and one is oral sex , I have had many a blowjobs but have came across very few who were either really good at it or those who tried really hard and was just not there. Anal sex is very important to me , the reason it is about submission , submission in my eyes. I not only want every hole , I need every hole.

I have acquired a few toys one being something I have been after for a long time and that is a spanking bench , the other was giving to me is a really nice fucking machine. The machining is almost brand new and was very expensive when first purchased. The girls do not really care for it but I enjoy watching it being used.

I like being in control , I take that back I need to be in control , I am in control of not only my life , my surroundings , and if I make a mistake then everything falls on me. I am in control at work for the most and 99% of the time I get what I want.

As a Dominant you have to be able to separate your feelings , you can still care for and even love , but when it comes to using what is yours , you have to be in a different frame of mind. What happens often is a Dominant will start to feel guilty , the feeling of guilt when playing , you start to grow a soft side and when you do this it changes who you were when the two of you first met. When you change , when you let your feelings get in the way , your slave will be the first to notice the difference , the mindset of the slave will change and will start to push barriers. Once you lose control of the mindset , once you lose control , it is impossible to regain. The slave has already seen that soft side , the side of feeling guilty and there is no turning back.

Just as you train your slave , you the dominant has to train your mind , this is a mistake I made more than once and I always wanted to blame the slave. It is very important to lay all of your needs on the table when you start to negotiate the relationship , If you truly have a need for something do not give in , this just means the slave you have met is not the one for you. If you do give in , the subject will come up again at some point and you cannot go back on your word.

We take 1 we give back 5 , what I am talking about is the more we take the more we have to give back. We must remain positive and give positive feed back , we need to give that reassurance , we need to praise even at times when not needed. I express my appreciation all the time , even telling I appreciate everything you are doing after all it makes my life easier.

To train is to change someones thought process , make changes in ones behavior , make changes to fit your needs. The mindset of the Dominant who own , your slave is valued property. The slave is for your use , be it for service , communicating , or sexual. Lets drop the kink side of things for just a second. Once you are inside the head , you know what makes the slave tick , the thought process , why the slave does certain things , the decisions that are made , to include their interest , likes and dislikes , foods and movies , music. Days that are special , Birthdays , Holidays , places the slave likes to visit , you get to the point you know the slave better than they do , then and only then can you begin true training.

You pile on a bunch of senseless rules that has no meaning , except to worship your cock , or not allowed to wear panties or maybe a bra. Those rules have zero meaning , the only benefit you get is getting your dick sucked but that comes later because you want the slave to want to please you .

I am huge on Behavior modification but it has to be consensual , agreed on with both Master and Slave and it has to be a need for the slave , a true need.  The relationship needs to be consensual , there needs to be negotiations prior to an agreement. You do not have to explain what your training will consist of , or when it will start.  If you explain anything a rule , maybe a protocol you explain it in such detail there are no questions.

Just because a rule is broken does not mean punishment , after all there are mistakes. Life does happen , things get in the way , if there is a resistance to something talk and find out what the root of the problem is. If a rule is broken does not mean you beat the slaves ass or smack them around , you sit down and talk like two adults and find out what happened. My two favorite words are Choices and Consequences. There has to be consequences to ones choices , just as there has to be rewards for the good that has been done. If we as Dominants take one we give back 10 , if we take two we give back 20. We have to give more than we take.

I have thoughts , thoughts of just rough raw fucking , like maybe a rape scene , or kidnapping , long hours of bondage and humiliation. My favorite before anal is face fucking , probably the biggest rush for me , the control and at times the forcing.

Maybe I am not as dark as I thought looking back over what I have written , to me I am normal. I do know when you are in control you are making decisions for two or three depending on your home , but everything is on the Dominants shoulders.

I get pleasure from using what is mine , I get pleasure in using as I see fit to please me.

Vile

 

 

 

 

Obtaining Deeper Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on December 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Deeper submission is something wanted by both the Dominant and the Submissive , however many times the submissive will want but is clueless about how to achieve such a goal. This falls onto the Dominants shoulders in guiding the submissive.

While trust is a huge factor there has to be some guidance , in assisting the submissive reach their goals.

Training is huge , it will be the main factor in not only the Dominants goals but the submissive’s as well.  I have said this before having a plan before you begin training is a valuable asset , having goals , setting rules and protocols. I have found it to be difficult to implement any rules until you truly know someone. You can add rules or take rules away but to alter a rule can had adverse effects. Rules are to enhance the submissive or slaves life. While protocols are meant to enhance the control of the Master or you could say protocols are rituals. The last sentence were words from my slave Arianna.

I myself begin training and continue without my slave knowing , I am going to try and explain some different methods but training will vary from submissive to submissive or slave to slave. Each personality is different , needs are different and habits are different.

I was speaking with another Dom yesterday and I was explaining he had to be able to define himself and know what he wanted in a submissive and what his final goals would be. It sounds pretty simple yes? Well truth be known it is not simple and it is a lot of work and it is work that is continued for the long term. I was chatting with a Gorean Master who takes in part time slaves for a weekend , a week , a month , 6 months and so on but nothing is set for long term. My time is more valuable than that but I also realize we are both on different playing fields. I do however use some of the Gorean rituals and protocols.

First your potential partner must be real and serious, by this time you should of seen if it is what I call sub frenzy , or just a fantasy because once someone steps into your world it is game over.

When you the Master explains something it should be in such great detail , when you are finished there are no questions , but you will ask if there are any questions , this is done each time.

What is wrong ? That question is so lame it has no meaning and should be dropped from your vocabulary. Instead try this, What is on your mind? Boom the first question puts up a defensive wall , guarded not letting you in. What is on your mind? What are you thinking? If there is anything the words will flow like a water fall I promise you, this will make life show much easier.

A Dominant or Master should never lose your temper when it comes to your property. Anger shows a lack of control , if you cannot control your anger how can you control someone else?  You must be respected before you can expect someone to submit. Five years I have never raised my voice towards my slave or my submissive 5 fucking years. Why? My slave Arianna is in service to me as with Lynn , both serve me , both take care of my needs. Both respect me and both depend on me , I have never used fear as a form of Domination .

Training you must be fair and the few rules you have in place should not be changed or altered. Now this is just my opinion and it works and worked for me.

Everything is earned , nothing is giving and what is earned can be taken away at the snap of a finger and this must be known.

Sitting at the dinner table is a privilege not a right. Sitting on the couch or chair is a privilege not a right, watching TV , texting friends , using a pad , showering , doing hair, nail polish everything is a privilege and privileges are earned not giving.

You the Master wants full and complete control , you the Master wants nothing less than full submission. You the Master wants loyalty , you want your needs met service and sexual.

Clothes in the house should be a privilege , I myself do not allow any clothes on unless I approve , but I am dressed , my right not a privilege.

Trust , Trust is HUGE , Trust is the main factor in the beginning of any relationship but even more so in our lifestyle. You can forget about any level of submission until you have full TRUST. You the Master will ask the Submissive or Slave do you trust me? The answer will always be YES. Dude it is a LIE a big FAT LIE there is no Trust there they don’t even really know you , why would you even ask such a question? Do you know why the answer was yes? Because it is what you wanted to hear and nothing more. You will know when the Trust begins and it will not happen over night. Now while you have been building this thing called TRUST you can fuck it up and the drop of a pin , meaning the first time you get stupid , lose your temper , screaming , calling names out of anger and if you can and that is a HUGE if you can start to rebuild what you fucked up.

Controlling your temper is much like gaining trust it does take time and it took me a very long time to learn how to channel my anger into something positive. Thinking before you speak will be your best friend , taking that deep breath , a silent deep breath and think about what you are going to say. That one short pause can save you weeks or months of work.  If you have anger issues you have zero business trying to own or be someones Dominant. Do I get mad? Absolutely I do I blow the fuck up but and there is a but not at my girls. Never. Remember they are in service to me.

Here comes the needy , here comes the codependency , but first things first I have to say because I will get a fucked email , not every submissive or slave is codependent , there I said it so deal with it. At any rate here it comes and it will hit you like a fucking train and you the Dom will deal with it because remember ? You wanted a relationship , this was the one and you are now president and will have to take that call at 3 am or what ever time 24/7. You have to be there 24/7 because you agreed to it and you said you would. So man up.

Actions speak louder than words , Actions are everything , Actions are visuals and we as humans are Visuals we see and for the most we believe even when it comes to watching news. You know what I am talking about so the visual comment is real. Actions mean everything. You sat your submissive down and you painted this white knight on this beautiful horse riding down the trail and swooping the submissive up and taking her back to your kingdom. You opened the can of worms now either you man up or you tell the truth , hey I am just looking for a quick fuck and nothing more. Be Honest.

Say what you mean and do what you say , actions speaks louder than words , you can now start building that bridge of trust. You will know when trust is achieved because a whole new room will open up and you will see a whole new openness , you will see a whole new person , someone who now desires to please , someone who has the need to please.

I love the word USE , and the word should be used often when you first begin your training. Sex is much different in our lifestyle mainly because in my eyes it is my right to use my property when and how I want , again the word USE. In the beginning stages using your submissive plays a very important role and there are two reasons. One it sets the scene and two it puts your submissive in her place. Now comes the hard part like when in a vanilla relationship the male spends much of his time begging to get some pussy , while the Dominant see’s sex as being a right. Sex is about me and only me. Yeah sounds pretty cold but there are times I will please but that type of pleasure is my call. Using your property is a reminder , it puts one in their place.

Taking privileges away , what was once so cherished now becomes a privilege as I stated above. Again everything is earned and what is earned can be taken back at any time. Limit the places in your home in which the submissive has access to , such as a spot on the floor next to the couch yea that one and only spot. Sitting next to you on the floor while you eat, and the submissive must not begin to eat until you have taken the first bite.

I find speaking in thirds to be very effective taking the words I and me out of the vocabulary . Replacing with your submissive or this submissive. Your Slave or this slave , the words I or me no longer has any meaning. This is a reminder of who and what she is and what her place in within the home.

This is done on a daily basis you cannot train 4 days and take 3 off it breaks the cycle. Your property will make mistakes and and verbal correction is all that is needed. The first 90 days will be the toughest but you should start to see things fall into place. Some catch on faster than others and raising your voice or beating her ass make no sense.

You cannot demand submission if you do it is fake submission. You cannot demand love if you do again it it fake love. Putting fear in someone makes no sense , you gain absolutely nothing with the exception of a swollen ego.

Respect your property and never ask them to do something you yourself would not do. Never ask for anything that is totally unrealistic , or something that would cause someone to fail. Always be positive and praise goes a long , long way.

I give reminders all the time to both of my girls , hey you know I truly appreciate everything you do. This is positive reinforcement , it is a builder and makes one feel proud and will want to please more.

I am not sure if I left anything out?

Evaluating A slave’s performance based on service

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, Evaluating A slave’s performance, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Slave Contract, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on November 27, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something that pops up in my mind from time to time , I suppose its something like a evaluation report you would receive from your employer. This is something Ive never discussed with Arianna or Lynn as I really saw no need.

I have stated before if you are new to the lifestyle one of the best resources is http://bestslavetraining.com One of the first sites about the lifestyle and still going strong today. Also on fetlife Best Slave Training a very active group with good topics and discussions.

My evaluations are more mental and a way to see if I need to make any changes or maybe cover something in general conversation. Instead of just asking a point blank question , its usually whats on your mind? When asking a direct question such as , Whats wrong? When asking whats wrong it puts up a defensive wall many times causing someone to shut down. Then comes the guy who demands to know whats wrong when there is really nothing wrong and its world war 3.

I look at a couple of areas one is following my rules and the willingness to follow, two following protocols , three communicating , four making sure my needs are met in service and sexually.

Behavior public and private , I have set protocols for both and I expect them to be followed. Having rules that are written down makes a easy guide. Every night before bed Arianna reads her rule , that is the last thing she does before turning out her light.

The state of mind. The willingness to take on different task when asked without prior planning. The wanting to complete all task when assigned without question. Showing her loyalty to slavery both public and private.

The following is from.. http://bestslavetraining.com

Observable objective of slave training that can be evaluated – service:

The observable objective of slave training is proper service. A Master can only truly judge a slave by what his five senses reveal to him. Try as he may, he is unable to completely see into his slave’s mind and heart. This is one thing he must accept and be honest with him about. He can’t hear her thoughts or feel the emotions a slave feels. He can only observe her behavior and come to a conclusion about what he sees. Demonstrating proper behavior is the best way a slave shows her state of mind to her Master.

If you the Master feels you need to move in a different direction then having something on paper is the best way to go. We as humans are visual we take in the information we are looking at. Having something as a reference , something to look back on so the slave is able to take everything in. This also allows the slave to ask questions if there are any concerns or to just verify something.

The training of a slave is like reprogramming someones mind, for instance Arianna does not use the words I or Me, the words are replaced with your slave. When speaking with others she uses she or this slave. You train how you the Master expects the slave to act in public and private.

My evaluations have always been private to me and I have never sat either girl down and said hey here is your yearly eval.

I have rules in place for a reason as with protocols , this does not mean they are written in stone , I may see something needs to be adjusted but I will never change , I will never take a rule away unless I see it is no longer useful. I may add to a rule or stricter protocols but protocols are something I will never take away , add yes take away no.

My evaluation has been silent , and making adjustments when needed. It is not that there have been a lot of changes but change can be good. You may see you are getting into a routine and changes are needed to break up the everyday norm.

Part of my protocols are dress , how both girls are dressed when out. I myself dress nice, 99% of the time a nice button shirt and nice jeans, my shoes are off the chart. I hate to admit it but I have a shoe fetish. Both girls look like a million dollars when out. I take pride in my property. The slave is a direct reflection of their owner , this includes how one acts , speaks , walks , eats and dresses.

So my final grades I am going to keep to myself for now , not that there is anything that is bad or anything that needs improvement because right now life is Awesome.

You do not have to do everything I say , you do not have to believe in my tactics , or my training process , but I can tell you it works for me.

I am living the dream , a life with zero arguing , zero drama and zero problems. My house runs like a fine tuned machine. The girls do not argue either both communicate all the time.

Communication is very important. Dinner time no cell phones are allowed this is the time to talk. This is the time to speak about concerns this is the girls free time to speak.

This is a short blog more so than usual but I have been working on a new project. Hypnosis , I spoke about this a couple of years ago but now it is balls to the wall..

Vile

 

 

 

 

Control The Mind Control The Body

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants who suffer from depression, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Train your slave with tags , , , on October 3, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Anybody can bark orders , anybody can intimidate someone into submission , but when you do that you are not getting true submission, it fakes you have absolutely nothing. You can scream , you can lose your temper or the best is using names like you worthless whore , cum dump or you stupid bitch. It goes on and on , you are the dominant at that moment and time. Making someone fear you does not equal service , humiliating someone does not make you a dominant. Forcing someone to have a low self esteem does not make you a dominant. The above you do not control anything you are forcing, and it is only you who needs the self gratification, you need that ego boost and really know absolutely nothing about true submission .

I have spoken in the past about Best slave training , http://bestslavetraining.com/ This is a awesome source of information. Recently I was made group leader of Best Slave Training on Fetlife which is truly an honor.. CuffsMaster the Moderator had taken a leave of absence and others were trying to take over the group. Some had said they tried to reach out to CuffsMaster and received no reply. On Fetlife if a group goes Un-moderated for a length of time , one can petition and take over the group. The funny thing I emailed CuffsMaster and he responded in less than an hour. That would be like well Vile has not posted in over a month and I want to take over his wordpress. I am also the Director of MAsT Kissimmee , which falls under MAsT International. http://www.mast.net/ MAsT International is dedicated to education within the lifestyle and is also world wide.

In other news there is now Thekinkyworldofvile.com which I am really excited about , this will allow me to be more open and practice my first amendment without fear of being shut down as I have been in the past. I was told I was not a real or serious blogger because I use wordpress. The truth be known I am not nor do I consider myself a blogger , what I do is share information so that others may take a little and put my words to good use. Everything I write about and I am by no means a professional writer is about my life, my thoughts , where I was and where I am at now in the present. At times I do share what others have shared meaning I will re-blog something but that does not happen very often. I will use quotes from other sites after asking permission. If the site is old , 5,10, 15 years and I contact someone and I do not get a response then I may post or I may not.

Submission is not giving nor can you take it. Submission is earned and there are steps that has to be taken. Earning trust is a huge factor , trust is not something that happens over night. Training is not something that happens over night.

When I was younger my thoughts of having a naked slave in the house seemed fun , it seemed controlling , there was power but little did I know there was a reason and a very valid reason and years later I would put my thoughts to good use. Out in public my girls are covered. Going out both girls are always dressed better than I am, do not take that wrong because I dress very nice when I go out. Keeping both covered shows respect , and it shows those in the community I have respect for my property not that it matters.

Keeping nude in the house is not a power thing nor is it a ego thing , it is continuous training , it is a mindset a reminder she is a slave. It has little to do with sex although it is there for my taking. Being nude is a high protocol of mine , I speak of protocols often but they are needed. Protocols are not only meant for training they are meant as a reminder. You keep reminding and it keeps your property in that frame of mind.

Many see BDSM as a sex tool , the kink , the spanking , flogging and bondage although those are good benefits but the lifestyle or my lifestyle runs so much deeper. BDSM has changed so much over the past 5 years or so and has turned to more of a kink base. Hey do you want me to tie you up and beat your ass , then you can suck my cock when we are done? There is no emotional contact just physical no meaning , no connection.

Today there are far more what I call true Submissive’s and true Slaves than there are true Dominants or Masters. Years ago it was just the opposite , I suppose things change. I wanted to introduce a Dom to a submissive , I explained she owned her own house , she made 45k a year and looking for a real Dominant. He asked me what she was looking for and I explained not to much , strict rules , complete control and accountability . His words were fuck that. I was like really dude?

Every time I meet a new sub or slave my words of advice is to think with a clear head , know what you need , and do not give in. How often does that work ? Never maybe for the first two hours then its like running down the street butt ass naked. At some point the stupid switch turns on and this Sub frenzy kicks in. You end up falling for the first Dom you meet which 99% of the time is online. My advice is to go out in public and meet people who can relate to you but the answer is always I am to shy or I don’t have time but you have time to turn your cam on and get naked, sending pics of yourself everyday to a man you do not even know. You give your phone number your address , where you work and within a week all of your passwords. WTF? Then you give all of your banking information to someone you hardly know. You have no idea where this guy lives , you have never been to his house , fuck you don’t even know where he works. What makes it sad is you know everything seems wrong , you know you do not want to give out any information but you do it out of fear. The fear of loss is a motherfucker , you fear you will never find another but in reality you are getting nothing out of the relationship with the exception of being used.

To control the mind you must know your slave , you must know their habits , food , movies , music , why the like the clothes they buy. What they fear , love , care about, what gives that cozy feeling. The master should be able to anticipate thoughts , movements and needs without asking.

These guys who spend so much time playing games just to get pussy or their cock sucked are total losers. They have huge egos , and for the most they suffer from depression and have a insecurity problem. Most do not even have a pot to piss in and are under employed.

Get in the mind and you can have anything you want without question….

 

 

My Life ,My House

Posted in A Submissive's Home, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , on June 4, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

 

 

Even I up until about 2 months ago had a Mentor, someone I could turn to if I did not have an answer. Animel passed away and I had no clue until I received a call from someone I knew not a friend just a acquaintance. I had known Animel for some 20 plus years and although I did not agree with everything he shared he was a book of knowledge. So here lately Ive kinda been out of it and it seems the smallest things get on my nerves. I do not get angry but I suppose the word would be irritated.  The other night I reached out to someone else and I knew immediately it was a mistake and I cut it off before I even got started. I reached out to a Master R and was told basically to go fuck myself but no hard feelings I just really needed to vent , venting Ive been doing for a couples of weeks and most everyone that knows me has seen the difference , the other half just think its me being me.

Calling Animel , he would answer and I would hear my phone rang and I looked at it and the caller ID said Dick Head. Then what the fuck do you want I don’t have all day ? The thing is I could talk and I knew it would not go anyplace. Sometimes I took his advice and at times I took a little of his and added a little of mine.

I am not into having cookouts with the smiths , I guess mainly we have absolutely nothing in common. I am not into sports or talking about other people. I am pretty much a loner until I get around like minded people.

Most people who meet me their first opinion is I am self centered , obnoxious , loud and rude , none caring , non empathetic, man I could go on and on but I wont. Arianna and I have talked about this very subject and she calls it confidence.

I get attached to some for what ever reason , its not like a love thing but more of a inner spiritual  connection on my part. Then and only then are you a true friend someone I would bend over backwards to help. This has only happened three times in my 54 years.

However there is a exception but there always is a exception. I enjoy helping people but I only help those who are trying to help themselves. I ask for nothing but in the back of my mind I am thinking if down the road I should need help those would step up to the plate.

I have been there , I was listening to a speech the other day and it was stated your life is a frame of mind. You can take someone who has lost everything and with the right state of mind they would bounce back full steam ahead.  If you expect someone to just open the door and fix your fuck ups then it will never happen.

Our community is very small compared to the over all population but today it is a dog eat dog world. Depending on who your speaking with most of the time I feel like picking up the phone and calling CNN.

I am a man who will drop everything at the drop of a hat if someone needs help , but as I have aged , Ive learned to only help those who are willing to help themselves.

I am a Drama free man , and I will not allow anyone to bring any drama to my home or my girls , this includes family. There are times when you have to cut ties even when someone is very close to you. Drama is a sickness , drama is a cancer and there are those who not only want it to spread but it is a need to them in order to survive.

BDSM today is more about the kink side of things , men wanting pussy and most subs or slaves trying to find that security and structure. You can play the game but if you do not know the rules you cannot win. BDSM has always been about kink but some try to hide that fact , but there are others who want to take a different path , there are those who are sincere about their Dominance or their submission.

So I use the word Mastery , the Master , the Dominant being able to put a solid plan into action and following through with good intentions. Mastery being able to enter someones head , someones train of thought. Getting in someones head is the easy part staying there is a total different story.

Mastery having the ability to stay consistent on a daily basis , being able to communicate, being able to listen , being able to maintain your control and anger.

I am against Domestic violence of any kind be it physical , verbal , or mental. Domestic Violence does not always mean a male there are women who are just as abusive.

Our relationship is 100% consensual , our relationship was negotiated prior to entering a relationship. We entered the relationship as master and slave. That brings back that state of mind. You have to need you can want but the need has to be there.

I like structure , I thrive on structure , I thrive on having a plan. Arianna and Lynns plans are planned a month in advance. Both have calendars , and the first of each month both start adding dates to doctors appointments and free time as well. Before making any type of request both come to me and ask , this is to make sure I do not have plans. My calendar is in my head.

I work from home and for the job I do and money I make I am paid very well. Arianna and Lynn work outside of the home.

My morning starts roughly around 4.10 am Arianna walks into the room after the coffee is made and wakes me , sometimes its not so easy but I do get up and the three of us sit and have coffee. Arianna has to be at work by 5.45am. I walk Arianna out to the car and when I enter the bedroom a fresh glass of ice water is waiting on me and Lynn heads off back to bed. Shortly after Arianna calls and we talk while she is driving to work. This has been the same for 4.5 years now. At 6am I lay back down and sleep until about 8am and I wake this is my down time so to speak but I know my day is just beginning. I go to the office and log into work around 10.45am go through my emails and stats. 11am I being and I work until 10pm. The good thing is I only work Saturday through Tuesday. 10pm I log off , then I relax until about 12am then I crash.

By Wednesday I am a wired fool , I am strung out and ready to go. I am one who jokes a lot and many times when I say something they will look to Arianna for the truth, or while talking they are waiting for the punch line. I am a true conservative with just at ouch of Democrat . I am not politically correct , I speak my mind but many times I will not give any type of opinion because the topic is not worth even getting involved. If it is something I truly believe in then I will speak up. I am not going to get all political on you I am just sharing my state of mind.

In order to have a M’s home run like a fine tuned machine you have to be able to take a look into the slaves mind , you have to stay one step ahead of the thoughts and emotions, yea it sounds like a lot of work but the fact is it is really pretty easy if you are willing to donate the time needed. Another factor is you have to care , you must want to see growth, you must be supportive during not just the good but the bad.

There was a post on fetlife in a group and Arianna asked permission to post a comment, I said yes of course. As we know fetlife is full of drama and those who are new to the lifestyle cringe at the thought of asking a question because all of the others who know everything pounces on the question like Piranhas. Arianna stays away from such childish antics.

The question was

Opinion: A Slave’s Compass

From time to time I am somewhat shocked when I read a answer Arianna has posted in a conversation or even reading her blog just after a fresh post at times I really scratch my head.

Arianna’s answer

VilesArianna:

I love the analogy. In my life, I find that when the focus is on my Master, other things seem less important. There’s a freedom in prioritizing ones life in one direction. There’s always an answer. I wear an engraved bracelet that states, WWMD, ( what would Master do?). This reminds me that my actions both public and private reflect my submission. Another bracelet is engraved, VKA, Vile knows all. This isn’t because he’s egotistical but because in my submission there are no secrets. My likes, needs, wants and desires, even thoughts are to be known to my Master. I strive to be complete in my submission. My submission is no longer mine to give but once accepted it became a need. The need to continue my commitment to Him.

It was easy for me to walk down the path of slavery. My Master portrayed confidence, intrigue, intelligence, and insightful questions. He challenged me to look past my own definitions and become His definition. So, His needs became my wants. His wants became my desires. His desires became my goals. It was an AHA moment when I released my own vision of what slavehood should look like and adopted His. That was hard because I wanted to give more and more. I trust that although I need to anticipate His needs that He will not allow me to continue once His own definition of Mastery is completed. In other words, I had to let go of my ambitious ways that were intruding into His ideal vision and release my own desires and adopt His even if the picture was different.

The compass is a great picture of ones truth. The stronger the bond, the deeper the connection, and the freedom in adopting another’s life as their own is a wonderful achievement in my own journey. For us, it works and each day I can look forward to having a focus in the turbulent seas of life because I have found my compass.

Thank you
~arianna

 

I did reblog her post from last night and again after reading it left me scratching my head causing me to think even deeper.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/

It will act like the link is broken from my phone anyway but just click on the title and everything will work fine.

If you the Dominant take the lifestyle and your relationship serious the world is yours no questions asked. If you truly love someone why would you not provide the time needed?

Everything in our relationship is based on my decision , its not to say I never ask for advice because I do and many times I take the advice giving , but in the end I have the final say.

Again everything is on my terms even when it comes to sex it is about me and only me at that time. I find it hard to use the words making love its hard to focus when I have these thoughts because I know at times it is needed but I am about taking what is mine. Once I start I hit every hole and at times more than once and Ill fuck until I cant fuck anymore. I love anal sex to me that is the most submissive act a slave or submissive can offer her most private part.

A submissive or slave not only wants but has the need to please , this is something that comes natural we as Dominants just have to file off the rough edges.. You put the work in that is needed and the rewards are far greater than you can imagine. What you have is a relationship that is consensual instead of intimidation and fear.

A relationship based on fear or intimidation is a one sided relationship and will be short lived.

If anyone has questions feel free to ask  it can be personal or maybe just advice , I am currently trying to figure out how to do some audio files..

Much Love to everyone who has stopped by….. I truly appreciate everyone.

 

Vile

A Slave Needs Down Time

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, Dominant and Submissive, fucking and sucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Insecure Dominants, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Self Pity, Slave, Submission, Submissive, submissive or slave has rights, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , on April 18, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at a munch 3 or 4 months ago there was a topic on relationships , the different types of Doms and submissive’s. Asking Arianna what type of Master I was she said I was like the Rock star , meaning the way I am treated.

Speaking with someone else the topic come up about men helping around the house and I said I do stuff. I was then asked what I did and my mind went blank.

Think Vile , my mind was going crazy and I came back I just do stuff ok drop it. Driving home with Arianna and Lynn , just out of the blue I said I do stuff ,Arianna replied yes you do Master.

On my days off I love cooking , when I cook it is something special , I generally spend the day preparing and cooking. So yes I do stuff leave me alone.

Then we turn the page and we look into our submissive’s life our slave , our property. If you the Dominant would just take a moment and sit down and reflect on just how much your submissive does and gives it might just give you a different perspective.

We want everything just right, we want everything in place, we want our glass full at all times. Then comes the kink , the bondage , fucking , getting head. We use when we want , how we want , where we want.  With me my sex life is like HBO on demand , I take when I want anyway I want, at anytime I want and any hole. We as Masters want to be able to snap our fingers and BOOM its done. We want rules followed , protocols , and we punish when something goes wrong.

Arianna and Lynn has a calendar and it is filled out daily I keep track of everything. There are also request days , usually a month out. These are days I give for both to be able to go out and let go , relax , clear their heads.

One of the most important is family , I am Master but family comes first no questions asked. Friends come into play everybody needs friends and our property deserves that time.

There is a breaking point , kinda like running a race horse till it drops, not giving it any down time , running it into the ground until it just drops. You stand above wondering what happened.

I need down time , I need to be able to clear my head , I need to relax , sit down and blog while jamming out to AC/DC Live at the river plate. Pouring myself a nice brandy firing up a good cigar on the back porch..

I am not meaning to get under anyone’s collar but to keep your property locked up 24/7 is not fair and if you do there will come a time when you wake up alone. It is not fair to keep your property from their family and friends.

There are only a few types of Dominants who would not allow downtime , free time, time to see family or friends. You are talking one day a month really and you are that concerned ?

The Master is insecure , the Master is controlling , the Master does not trust. The Master has a ego problem. I am going to guess it is the first being insecure.  Being insecure can cause a lot of problems down the road again your property is going to take only so much.

We want our dick sucked on demand , we tell to spread not ask , bend over I want the ass. We use different object , toys really anything we want. So why is it not fair to give that down time?

I control everything , hair color , hair length , nail polish , fuck even makeup. I control what both wear , I control shoes , everything is on my dime, everything is on Viles watch , Viles time.

I am secure , I trust , if I cant trust I don’t need you. If you fuck around you need to make sure he is the one you want because that is who you will be living with.

If you cannot trust why in the fuck would you of even entered a relationship? It makes no fucking sense to be spending so much time wondering who your property is fucking or blowing. If the cheat you know , you have to know if you know your slave .

If you are taking care of business you have no worries. If you are insecure , if you do not trust , if you keep locked up 24/7 then you have something to worry about. It is not a question of how or why it is a question of when. There will come a time when your slave says fuck this shit I am done.

You the Master wants 100% at all times no questions asked , the bad news is we as Masters have to give back 200%, yup we have to give back more than we take.

Keep pushing that button and one day the spring will break and you will have to replace it…  Keeping someone locked up 24/7 is abuse, you might as well beat their ass. If you are insecure works on your issues figure out what is wrong… Do not make your property suffer because you have short Cummings….