Archive for the BDSM 24/7 Relationships Category

The Novice Dominant

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Slave training, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominant in Training, Novice Dominant, oral sex, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock with tags , , , , on February 16, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You watched Fifty Shades and when you woke up the next morning you were ready to dominate the world.  You want a slave to serve you but most of all you are thinking only about sex. Your mind is racing about the thought of endless pussy.

You join all the kinky websites such as fetlife , you create a profile with nothing written and post a Dick pic of yourself. This is because you think your dick will draw women to you but in reality you are clueless.

You begin to send out random messages like Hey whats up? A few days go by and your mail box is empty and you cannot figure out why. You end up liking hundreds of pictures and you are following hundreds but your mail box is empty. You post in a few groups and get blasted for running of at your mouth. This is because you wrote a check with your battle ship mouth that your tugboat ass could not cash. You are angry at people because after all fetlife is a kinky site right?

If you by chance start a conversation with a experienced dominant you brush off most of what he says and you continue down the same road because your mind is driven by kinky sex and pussy.

Even before fifty shades you dated some but for the most you remained single. Probably the life of the party but in reality you do not have very many true friends. Your opinion of women is very low and have used through out your years and at times even abusive.

You are the predator , you are the danger and when and if you do get a chance to hook up with a novice submissive you expect sex and you take it. This does not make the moment consensual it makes it rape. You get angry when you message and there is no reply and still you do not understand the damage you have done.

Even if you are the harmless dominant or want to be dominant you still do not listen because pussy is running your life and you think that the women you contact are only interested in sex.

There are some who want to be dominant , there are some who want a slave but your just not cut out for the lifestyle and yet you will blame everyone else. You refuse to take a few minutes and look at yourself in the mirror to see the real you.

These habits are probably stemming from your childhood , either a single parent , or from abusive parents. Maybe or maybe not towards you, you could of just witnessed the abuse. Either way instead of getting help you continue tyo walk the destructive path.

Then we have the married vanilla who watched fifty shades or maybe not but you are stuck in a dull sexless marriage. Sex maybe if you are lucky once a month or less, and you are sex driving. When you do have sex your wife feels like it is a chore and while you are fucking her she acts like you are the king of the world. You crawl off in about 3 or 4 minutes and it is back to the same o same o.  You want to fuck your wife in the ass so bad but nope she will not go there, or you want her to suck your dick and nope she will not go there, but you knew this before you married.

The dominant who are new experience something a new submissive or slave does and it is called sub frenzy. Their mind is traveling a hundred miles an and will listen to no one when asking for advice. The subs end up getting hurt in some form be it physical or mental. The new dominant ends up in short lived relationships trying to figure out what the fuck happened. The new dominant is focused on two things and two things only and that would be pussy and kinky sex.

Growing up there was one thing on my mind and that was pussy. While in school I was known for being kinky and sadistic so my options were mainly open to one girl. As I grew older I knew something was wrong but could not pin point it and it was not until my late 40’s did I realize I had it all wrong.

The novice dominant is much like the novice submissive, there is one speed and that is wide open. There is no advice that will work and will continue asking for advice until they get the answer they want.

I was speaking with someone the other day about sex, and I explained it is my belief many who are new to the lifestyle or maybe not but many of the subs out there have sex because of pressure. The submissive believes it is what is expected. There could be some fear as well, the fear of losing out on a relationship. Most of you know what happens when you tell a male no to sex right? Then the begging comes in, the excuse on how the two will be bonded, how it will make the relationship stronger.  Then once you spread your legs it is game over you are had.

The dawn of the new dominant ages ranging from 18 to about 38 or so and at times older. The definition of BDSM has changed a great deal, the lack of respect, the lack of responsibility, the lack of seeking a true relationship and the list goes on and on. Then you meet a dom and ten minutes into the conversation he pulls out a collar from the local pet store and wants to own you, well for the next week or so.

You can find me on Fetlife

I_Vile_Own_Her

Vile

 

 

 

Training A Slave To Fit Your Needs

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, Collars, communication, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, eternity collar, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, owning a slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , on February 4, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You have to have great appreciation for your slave ,in a way you have to love and cherish probably more than your slave will love you. The slave in today’s world probably works a full time job , then comes home and another job begins. However the work at home is more than likely more intense once home than at work.

Depending on the master there is a breaking process, some are extreme while some not so much but you have to be able to bring out the humble that is within the slave. My philosophy is if you break it you gotta fix it.

I have mentioned in other post the importance of getting to know the slave, the importance of knowing the slave better than family and friends and better than the slave knows themselves.

Knowing who you are , how much control you want, how much responsibility  you want, and how much care. Are you strict ? Are you easy going? Are you looking to take full control of someones life? Are you more service orientated, into humiliation, pain?

While sex is not my main driver in a M’s relationship  it does play a part and sex has to be compatible. Both have to be on the same page and both have to talk about sexual needs before entering a relationship.

If you are going to put rules and protocols in place you need to follow through on a daily basis. If you are going to take full ownership there is no what I call downtime , while I do allow my slave to have days just so she can unwind , relax and clear her head, my days are much different. I have no what I call true friends , I do have friends but no one I can really confide in , maybe sit down for a couple of beers or have a in dept  conversation about training. One of the subjects I have been studying for sometime is hypnosis but this is only a me thing. I have practiced on my slave and have been successful there is really no one to talk to. In the community I know a great deal many people but talking to someone and having to worry about something getting out is not something I want to deal with. I actually spend more time speaking with what I do call friends who live overseas , yea I know weird but it works.

I was really young when my kink first came to light , maybe 13 or 14 with a girl my same age. I spoke about her probably seven years ago and I am going to correct what I called her. I called her the school whore but the word whore was really pretty bad so I am going to replace it with the word slut. Just because someone is a slut is not a bad thing , it just means they have a huge sex drive, maybe slut is a word that does not fit but anyway.

Beverley was the first girl I tied up , spanked fucked and face fucked, yea she talked so I did not date very much while in school but she was a regular hookup for several years. The more we saw each other the more extreme we were even to the point of fisting, and wow the first time my hand vanished deep inside her pussy wow! I remember once my hand was fully inside and opening it and feeling all around inside her pussy , it was just amazing.

So while I was kinky and I wanted to be in control , I had no idea what I was doing. At that time is was hunt , fuck and move on.

To the slave, why do you want to be a slave ? What was it that drew you to this lifestyle? Something you read , maybe talking to someone, a movie? What type a slave are you ? Are you more about service? Are you a slave but a masochist ? This is something you have to figure out to insure you find the right match because not one master is the same.

Questions that are seldom asked of the slave is about health , be it physical or the most important mental. Medications the slave is on and why they are on them and what they are for. You as a master are responsible for doing research and it should give you a greater understanding on just how far you can go when it comes to play and that being physical and mental to include pain. If you break it you may not be ale to fix it and you could find yourself answering questions to law enforcement.

As a slave you have to have a need not a want because if it is just a want then while you are training there will be some internal fighting and will case you to resist to a point or you may find you are objecting to most.

Being mentally prepared having your mind right knowing you are about to step off a cliff and expect someone you trust to catch you.

The master must know the slave , the master must know the slave better than the slave knows themselves. You have to know the slaves limitations and something many look over are medications. What type of medications is the slave taking? Does the slave suffer from any type of depression? If so then this may alter your training program some. Remember if you break it you have to fix it and depression may not be something you can fix. I have found over the years those who do suffer from some type of depression are much better suited to be a service slave. Working with a masochist is this a area you have experience in?  The truth not many who are masochist are slaves just as not many who are sadist are actual master. Their pleasure comes from inflicting pain and humiliation.

Training a slave is really not as difficult as many think but it does take a lot of work and going into a relationship you really have to have a game plan. Some ask me about rules when they first meet a slave and my answer is you cannot give out rules until you know the slave. Rules are for the betterment of the slave and this does not include not being allowed to wear panties. I have found over the years that protocols can actually take the place of many rules although some see both as the same.

The one thing many look over is negotiating the relationship and if you do not it can cause a lot of confusion and trouble because you just cannot make shit up as you go.

I have standards when it comes to upkeep. I dress nice when out but I expect my slave to look 100 times better at all times. It is the masters responsibility on how the slave presents their selves when out. A slave is a direct reflection of the master and the masters training.

I had a list, a list of my needs when it comes to ownership and if the answer was no to anything on my list the conversation was over. The slaves needs are different, you have clothing, food, and a place to sleep anything else is a privilege and privileges can be earned or taken away.

Negotiations should include how much control the master wants to take, how much freedom to take and give. Sex is on your terms and your terms only after all it is about you the master. The slave must agree to your terms and speak the word I agree out loud not just by nodding. If you like anal sex and the slave does not and is not willing to compromise then the slave is not for you. If the slave does not swallow and it is a requirement for you , then the slave is not the right one for you. Do not give in to any of your needs.

The slave will come back with a list of needs besides the three basic. You the master must agree, if you say no and the slave does not agree then the slave is not the right one for you.

The slave has rights , the slave has the right to be able to communicate openly 24/7 to include waking you at night. The slave has the right to communicate freely without being judged and you the master must listen. This includes during your busy day, if the slaves sends a text you are to respond it only takes a few seconds.

A part time master cannot expect full time submission.

Ok you are taking a human and you are changing their train of thought, you are changing their habits, you are changing their needs. Needs in my eyes are four simple things. Food, water , clothing and a place to live. These are absolute needs

Training is about being consistent hourly, daily, weekly and monthly and so on. Once you begin the training there must be no interruptions. My thoughts on LDR these are extremely  hard because if you cannot reach out and touching someone you really do not have any control over someone, you have the control you are being told you have and nothing more..

You have a vision on how you see your daily life , you envision your home, you are the master , living with your slave. One thing, if you are looking for a slave then look for a slave. Your search should not include a submissive or a baby girl, a brat nor a switch. You are looking for a slave and nothing less.

One of the first words out of your mouth should be privilege. Everything you allow the slave to do or have is a privilege and privileges can be taken away at anytime. This is one area of the relationship the slave has control, privileges are in the slaves court and the slave controls the outcome.

You as the master having a clear game plan and knowing what your expectations are is a must. You can not just go in winging it or playing by ear. Once you start training it is really hard to make changes and this is mainly because you have already set the pace.

Strip, standing right there and strip as she walked through the door. Hand me you cell , your purse. In today’s the cell has become a part of life so allowing the slave to check a couple of times a day is important , maybe family friends, emails and so on but limited time.

You may sit here and here but not here or here. You are not allowed at anytime to sit on my furniture , you do not have that right. See what I did there? I have taking what once was normal freedoms and taken them away. Everything in a slaves life is a privilege and privileges  can be taken away at anytime.

Dinner time you may sit on the floor next to me , you do not have the right to sit on a chair, you are the slave remember? You will not begin to eat before I take my first bite,then and only then may you begin to eat and after the first bite you will thank me.

When you sit you will sit with both legs closed and hands placed on your lap, you will never cross your legs , you are not permitted to do so. When you stand and you are speaking or not your hands will be clasped in the front hanging in front of you.

You will ask permission to sit on my floor , you will ask permission to stand , to go to the bathroom , to get a drink or water , to shower and to enter the bed.

Here is the key as masters we can only make a informed decision based on the information given to us, if you do not communicate your feelings I cannot read your mind. If you ask a slave a direct question you expect a direct answer, if something goes wrong and the slave did not communicate the problem is clearly the slaves fault.

I have three main protocols in place while out. Protocol one, the slave may speak freely, two the slave may speak when spoken to and three speaking is not permitted.

My slave does not wear clothes while at home, she is not permitted  and does not have that right. If requested such as cooking or taking the dogs out I allow.

In the beginning of your relationship after you have agreed to enter one,  Use your slave this is your right. Guide the slave to the bedroom place them on the edge of the bed and tell them to spread. You fuck , bust a nut and walk away after you have finished. You and use often many times without saying a word. I have my slave trained I just tap on the back of the head and she knows it is time to suck dick, if I tap twice she knows to go all the way down and hold it until I grab a hand full of hair and pull her up.  If I want pussy I take pussy if I want the ass I take the ass but I do without giving any indication until I start.

All of the above is done in repetition , hourly, daily , weekly and so on.  You must remain consistent and what you have done over the past 90 days or so is changing the slaves mindset and taking old habits and replacing with habits you want in place. Just because a slave makes a mistake but not mean the slave should be punished after all the slave is human and even masters makes mistakes.  Punishments do not always include physical punishment. There is a mindset that if a slave breaks a rule which seldom happens then we must beat them.

The Collar is very sacred to me and I hold it above a wedding ring. The collar shows ownership , you own your slave , you own property. While negotiating find out what kind of collar would be suitable for everyday wear.

Myself I use a Turian collar  which for the most is Gorean and it locks with a allen screw. I am the only one with the wrench to remove it. Arianna has worn it for almost 7 years and it has never been off her neck. She wears to work and is out in public and in 7 years has been asked about it 3 or 4 times. She simply replies it is like a wedding ring and nothing else is said.

A collar is earned not giving , if it is just giving there is no appreciation

I do not believe in under consideration collars or training collars. I did make a leather one I put on Arianna when we went to events so others would know she was taking. Many today run down to the local pet store and purchase a dog collar and give it with no meaning. Most wear the collar as a trophy or to be able to stand out , maybe play.

Leave sex off the table until you get to know the slave, as a matter of fact let the slave bring the topic up when it comes to sex, kink and bondage as well as fetishes.

Shut up and listen

Start with a blank canvas and build what you need.

Fetlife you can find me

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

 

My Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mentor, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , , on July 16, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

By the early 80’s I had somewhat of a grasp of what the meaning of BDSM meant , but I did not know how to really implement anything as far as building a relationship.

I had lived with chong for almost 7 years and we really just winged it even after chong moved beth in. Beth was someone I really disliked but only went along with it because it was a need for chong.

Shortly after chong had left and went back to Korea , I guess I went through a early midlife crisis . This is when I thought I was missing something in life but little did I know it should of been left as a passing thought. I had to get married , I wanted the house with the fence , the dog and kids. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake I would ever make in my life.

I knew before I married it was a mistake but I had put a plan in place and I was going to stick to it. Nine miserable years just short of ten years and I was free. Something I learned early on as a Dom was I had morels , I placed standards on myself when it came to my integrity and I would not bend. The duration of my marriage I remain Loyal , I never stepped outside of my marriage. I felt that any Dom who claimed to be such should have higher standards but through out the years I have found many do not and just as many lack integrity. Many associate BDSM with just fucking and kink nothing more and then they complain when things go south.

I divorced and both went through a paralegal to complete the paper work. I had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but soon after I realized 85 a week was really nothing.

I left with nothing and about 1200 dollars in my pocket , to make things worse I was in between jobs. I rented a apartment for 600 a month and I talked the landlord into letting me make payments on the deposit.

While sitting in the waffle house one night , just getting off of my day labor job , yes day labor paid daily. Anyway I over heard two taxi drivers talking about how much they made that day. One was 250.00 and the other boasting about the 560.00 he made that day. Bam the next day I applied , passed background check then drug test and I was set.

The first 3 months I found to be hard , I did not know the ropes but little did I know things would change. The owner of the company Francis took a liking to me and gave me two dedicated runs daily that would give me a take home of about 250.00 dollars a day plus what ever else I made.

Soon after I bumped my child support up to about 150.00 a week because I knew how hard it must be for a single mother to try to raise a child..

Sometime passes and came the breakup , while in the hospital my slave left and moved on. Wow what a rough year that would prove to be. After leaving the hospital it would take me almost a year to recover. The only thing that kept me a float was the two dedicated runs I had , other than that I slept in the car while waiting on a call.

I pulled up on the taxi stand where most drivers sat through out the day waiting on a call. I seldom sat there , mainly because I had those two dedicated run and a dozen of regulars that kept me running most of the day. I pulled up next to this car and I noticed it was a new driver. This guy looked like a pissed off santa clause and I am just looking at him , he looks at me and says well does that cock sucker you have work ? I said excuse me really? He stated well if you are not like most of the bitches here speak the fuck up.

Wow! What in the fuck crawled up your ass and died you old mother fucker , did someone piss in your glass of Im pissed off at the world today?

Then out of nowhere he shouts fuck , I forgot to feed her. So I asked what? He stated my bitch is chained to the floor and she cant reach the fridge. You have your dog chained up? No you stupid mother fucker I would never chain a dog up , my slave you ignorant fuck . Then he started his car and drove off.

Later that night I was thinking about this old dude for what ever reason , I could not get him out of my mind. Thinking there was someone else out there like me , well kinda like me , I was not as grumpy.

Somehow Animel had the ability to pull in some very beautiful women and I remember one who is still in my mind today. She was half American and half Taiwanese. Probably 5’1 and less than 100 pounds. As I had mentioned while driving a cab part time , I took a call over the radio and pulled into this apartment complex and out came walking this drop dead gorgeous woman well young woman , I am guessing in her mid 20’s. It was like a movie , time seemed to stop and as she walked her hair was blowing in the wind. She wore this crop top and a pair of Daisy duke shorts and sneakers. She was not very friendly and really pretty snobbish so I just ignored her and gladly took my 40 bucks.

Several months later I went over to Animels to borrow some tools , I was changing a motor in a 71 Monte Carlo . Animel and his grumpy ass mumbled and pointed towards his shop and as I was going through his tool boxes I heard a slight moan . Walking around his dune buggy he had been building for years , I see this bitch chained to the floor and when she looked up at me , I said well , well, well look at what we have here. I yelled out yo dude you have a bitch chained to the floor. Animel yelled out don’t  feed her yet. So I picked up the tools I needed and walked around the dune buggy and just looked down at the woman and mumbled , fuck me and walked out.

Animel had been living in the warehouse for several years , I really thought the setup was pretty cool. As I walked out I looked at him and just starred and Animel blurted out what dick head? I said nothing and walked out.

As I stated most of what was shared I did not agree with but what I did learn I put it to good use. Sometimes you can listen to someone and only hear what you want and your brain just disregards the rest maybe you know you are doing that or maybe you do not.

 

What I did learn was the mental side of the lifestyle , control and not being controlling , and the need for open communication and listening.

Last year I received a call around 9pm  from someone I had not heard from in several years and was asked if I heard ? Then I was informed Animel had passed , I was stunned and felt great hurt. What is weird it affected me more than when my own parents passed , I felt like I had a great loss even though we had not spoken in 5 years.

A mentor , a teacher , someone you can confide in , someone who will guide and bring out your short comings.

I never knew for sure but I believe Animel was a trainer. His relationships were short but very intense . One day the slave was there and 2 or 3 months would pass and the slave was gone as fast as she appeared.

There were no task giving , no test , just hours and hours of conversations , questions and sharing life experiences.

One topic I concentrated on was Behavior Modification , changing someone to fit my needs and my needs only. Changing habits , the way someone spoke , acted in public and private , the way one sat and even walked , and all can be done without the slave even knowing. This is what I not only wanted but needed.

I learned anger had no place in a Master/slave relationship , how could a master be respected if he was full of anger and rage ? Every time , you scream , call names or even getting physical , verbal abuse is just as bad as physical , each time you lose a little more respect.

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Need To Strip

Posted in adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, cock sucking, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Sex and Submission, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , on February 5, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna walked in the house , I was sitting at the dinning table and I said stop right there.

You need to strip , take all of your clothes off. You will not be allowed any clothing unless I give permission , this includes company coming over.  I stood up and walked over to her took her hand and started walking . I stopped in front of the couch and pointed at the floor. This is where you can sit , on the floor in front of me. I then walked over to the dinning table and pointed at the floor , this is where you will eat dinner. Besides the bed those two places are the only places you are allowed to sit.

The next couple of hours I remained silent , just observing as Arianna sat on the floor wondering what I was thinking. Later in the evening I walked Arianna to the bedroom laid her down crawled on top , I came inside of her and got off and just walked away without saying a word. I was thinking to myself , my property I will use when I want.

Later that night we were talking and I explained to Arianna in 90 days you will know my needs , what I expect. She then asked how ? You will watch and listen , do what you are told when you are told and told how to do it. Arianna thought I was setting her up for failure.

The next 90 days Arianna spent a great deal of time on her back and sucking my dick. The idea behind that was to use as much as I could to let her know that is what she was for. I remember the first time Arianna sucked my dick , I was thinking this bitch is a keeper and today she just keeps getting better. The using was very important during training. The purpose was to make it clear in her mind she was here to serve and reminded her of her place in the relationship.

Remember it is the slave who must adapt to your way of living , your home , your rules , your protocols.

Over the 90 days I started introducing rules and protocols , I started to control the way she spoke , walked , sit , how she would interact with others . The protocols I introduced were important to me , this was important as well because after all Arianna would be a direct reflection of me.

I controlled the way she dressed , her nail polish , her hair style and color and at one point I shaved one side of her head.

At times I used different forms of Humiliation , this was to set the reminder who was in charge and who was not.

How do you get to know your slave ? You let them talk , talk and talk and you listen. You cannot begin to train or issue rules unless you know who you are entering a relationship with. Having open communication , your slave or submissive has the right to speak and express their feelings . You want the slave to feel comfortable enough knowing they can come to you and speak about anything and be respected and knowing you care and will not judge.

I arranged a protocol dinner where Arianna served dinner and supplied drinks and after everything was dished out , Arianna was allowed to sit at the table for the first time.

I started introducing Arianna to friends I knew in the lifestyle and we attended Munchs together.

Over the next 90 days Arianna started to become a little more comfortable but still had trust issues. We continued to communicate and we talked for several hours daily.

From the day we met is was exactly 6 weeks when Arianna moved in. We would of moved into her place but it was to small for the two of us. Arianna had a really nice small two bedroom Apartment in the historic district and I loved it but it was just to small for the two of us..

I have moved passed the need to inflict pain , my needs were more on the mental side of things. I wanted to get into Arianna’s . It took me years to realize getting into someones head was far more effective and taking the sadist side of things. Truth be known I enjoy showing Arianna off so marks and bruises would not be very appealing.

Our negotiations lasted about a day , it was not a 8 hour conversation , but we did converse on our needs , her needs , my needs and wants.

I had made up my mind I was not going to give in on any level and I was going to get my way or it would be noway.  If you are entering a relationship in the lifestyle and you give in to some of your needs , there will come a time when the need or needs will come up and you have already agreed on certain things.

When I trained I focused on my needs and wants. Sitting down and drawing a picture in my mind on how I saw my everyday life in the present and future.

Dressing , when going out I myself dress very nice and in my mind if we were going out my slave would dress like she was walking the red carpet. The slave is a direct reflection of her Master. It also shows the Master cares for his slave.

Okay this is a short blog ..

I truly appreciate everyone who stops by.

Vile

My Soul Searching

Posted in Adapt, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, blow job, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants Protocol, feminism, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Safe and Sane, Slave, Slave being used, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Before meeting Arianna I was single for a little over two years , my you it was by choice. I had spent that time in doing some deep soul searching and I needed to find out a few things about myself. One who was I , I mean really I needed to know who I was in terms of the lifestyle. I cant remember back far enough when I had what you would call vanilla friends and my circle of friends in the lifestyle well I could count on one hand. There are reasons I keep my circle so small , one being if my circle is small and I am in contact with someone on a regular basis and I know I can turn to them ,  then I can consider them to be a friend. Even social media like Facebook or Fetlife I am not a friend collector , after all what is the point of having 2000 friends if you are never in contact with them?  Two I needed to find out what my needs were , what type of relationship did I need to have to keep the fire inside going ? Three what type of woman did I need in my life , was it a submissive ? Was it a Slave ? Or the last thing that popped in my head was she to be property ? There are clear differences between the three and each Dom or Master or owner differs as well , after all we are all different.

Knowing those three things before you enter a relationship is very vital when it comes to having any type of successful relationship but more so when it comes to our lifestyle.

Now during the 2,5 years I was single I did date and the dating process was so I could eliminate what I was not looking for and again I wanted a better Idea as to what I truly needed out of a partner…

One date I remember submissive saying I do not swallow , now sex was really down at the bottom of my list but to tell me you are not going to do something is a strike , and another no anal for me I get nothing out of it. It was obvious we had different out looks when it came to a relationship because it was not about her it was about me. I do not like bondage it does nothing for me , another I do not like humiliation it takes me to a bad place , the list went on and on. So at the end of the dates I would pay for the dinner and explain we were way to far apart to be able to come to any type of an agreement when it comes to a relationship. You mean because I do not like anal you do not want a relationship ? You are 100% correct that would be a need for me and while anal is not at the top of my list I may at times go a month or so just ass fucking , but of course then I always want to finish in the mouth. ATM is my favorite word..

Being a Dominant just did not fit me , this is mainly because a submissive has the right to say no. Being a master there are still negotiations which meant something on my check list could be marked off , yes such as no anal , or no sex when I dont feel like it or I am to tired. Tired really ? All you have to do is lay on your back I bust a nut and get up and you can go back to being tired.  I am to tired what the fuck does that mean ?

I wanted the word NO wiped from ones vocabulary , I cant , I wont. I wanted and needed full control over someones life, I would be responsible for taking care of everything , I would meet ones needs but then I expected my needs and wants to be completed again after all it was about me.

First entering the lifestyle the first slave I met was a total Masochist and needed humiliation just to survive , now how awesome was that ? Well one would think they struck gold but in time I found the Humiliation to be difficult because each time I had to out do the last. The pain part I learned where I could hit and where I could no that my friends is very important because you can really fuck someone up and try explaining that to a Judge. Sherrie wanted a relationship but I did not and while we dated for almost seven years I never not one time fucked her , yea that is the truth. Now she did however suck a lot of dick and I mean a lot but I never fucked her. I did fist her pussy and ass she really got off on that. I would stop by her work and insert a coke can and come back several hours later so I could take it out.  Driving down Hwy 95 in Daytona one time we were pulled over , and I am thinking what the fuck. Sherrie was sitting in the passenger seat butt ass naked holding a huge ass dildo. So the cop walks up and looks in the car and I am thinking this is not going to be good. He simply asked if everything was ok and Sherrie said yes. She was giving a ticket because her tag had expired. The cop never said anything about her being naked , I am guessing the size of the dildo did shock him because it took two hands to hold it.

Years and years past since the late 80’s and while I thought all of my relationships were on spot they were not and each one failed because of me. They failed because I was not willing to commit the time needed and it was pretty much one sided , which now it is pretty much one sided but what makes it different now is I give back , on my terms..

Now you are thinking the kind of relationship you want is impossible. You would never find a slave who would just submit to your every need right ? The key word is patience , good things come to those who wait and most of the time just like my now relationship Arianna fell right into my lap out of the sky. Speaking to a Dom one night and him and I are pretty close with our thoughts when it comes to ownership , anyway we were talking after a MAsT meeting one night and he stated I was lucky and just like I thought he said it was like Arianna fell from the sky as a gift.

I have been very blessed over the past 6 years and knowing many more years to come is more of a blessing. I am also blessed to live with not one but two women Arianna my slave and Lynn our submissive. Arianna completed most of Lynns training taking a huge weight off of my shoulders. Our house runs smoothly and without a glitch , both girls get along with each other.  There is zero Drama and zero problems yea sometimes I cannot believe how smoothly things are going.

Negotiating our relationship was really pretty easy it was my way or no way. I was straight forward and to the point. The thing that blew my mind was Arianna said one word, Okay. That threw me off for a few minutes but I did not show it. Arianna then explained her needs , now in order for me to get what I want I knew I had to give back and her one and only request was to be micromanaged. This was a area I had zero experience in , even asking others in the lifestyle I was told it was way to much work let her go..

Remember the slave must adapt to your way of living , your life , your needs and your training.

Training is something I take very serious and I put a lot of thought into it. What worked for the last slave will not work with a new one. The rules are different , their personality is different , their mindset is different and of course needs. If all the needs are met there are no wants.

I asked the question several times are you sure ? Are you sure this is the path you want to take? Each time the answer was yes and so our journey began.

I am more of a Mental Owner , in order to control someone you need to be in their head , you need to know what makes them think the way they do , their habits , why they have those habits. You have to know their reasoning , now that part is deep. You have to know what makes them think the way they do. Once you are inside as confusing as it may be you are now in full control. The hard part is knowing what to do , when and why. If you fuck something up you gotta fix it so be careful.

What I do in a sense is strip one of ones dignity , I take everything away that was a need and turn them into privileges. I took all clothes away including when company came over , again depending who it was. I took all furniture away including being able to sit at the dinner table. I controlled shower time , bed time , food that was prepared. I controlled hair color , nail polish and I controlled what clothes would be worn outside when we did go out.  I controlled the way she sat , how she spoke and who she spoke to. I used her and used often. I used without a word , I used every hole , I let her know I was taking what was mine.  The slave is yours , your property , you own after all they gave you that right. Use and use how you want and when you want. While I am not a huge fan of Humiliation I do use some form during my training , again this is to reinforce our positions within the home.

Breaking a rule must be a serious offense , the slave forgot to text this is part of training. There is no reason to go off the handle. Training is about changing habits and depending on who you are working with you are looking at 90 days or more before most things catch on. We as owners must show patience.

Keeping that mindset , putting protocols in place and staying on top of the protocols , ownership is not a 9 to 5 job. As Dominants , Masters and Owners we must be available to our partners 24/7 no questions asked.

The one weakness that can kill a M’s relationship is when the Master feels guilty about punishing , or slips and does not stay on top of things , begins to let rules go without consequences. Once you change and your property has seen the difference it is impossible to turn back the pages.

The words I wish I was a better Dom or a better Master , I am sorry I am a failure. Think about those words yea pretty pathetic and your property may not say anything but the same thoughts are there. There are thoughts you keep to yourself , it is actions and words you share. The property looks up to us , not only for a relationship but guidance , direction and depends on us to keeps the rules we have put in placed enforced..

I had thought about Blogging about feminism but as stated above I will leave that as a thought..

Vile

Communication

Life

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

It seems I have been MIA compared to my earlier days when it comes to my blog but as you know life happens.

On the home front life is still good and I continue to find ways to make things better. Work ,  relationship and life and juggling all three and keeping things in check can be a little work but in the end the work and effort will and has paid off.

As a master we have a responsibility to not only insure our home is safe and secure but it remains secure if something were to happen to me.

We are in the process of buying a house but it could not be just any house. The house had to have requirements before I would even give it a look. The number one thing was safety , it is my responsibility to insure our home is safe. Affordability is at the top again if something happened to me the home would continue to be comfortable and if something should happen Arianna could just pay it off. The house had to have gas since I also love to cook and I prefer cooking with gas that was a top priority and I refused to give in..

I remember my dad buying a chicken farm when I was a kid and even being so young I was thinking how easy is this. Now our farm had eight houses and each house held 80,000 chickens and the house sat on 10 acres . A older frame house with wood floors a wood stove for heat , no AC but it had a gas stove. We walked in a bank and two hours later we walked out a proud owner.

Times sure have changed now going into month one with just paper work , background checks , financial records going back over a decade , and explaining every penny we have spent over the past couple of years.

So my responsibility as a Owner is to make sure Arianna is taking care of first and for most as I stated above.

I was speaking with someone not long ago and we were talking about the very subject. The subject was brought up about how I should find someone who would be willing to step in and take care of Arianna.  Although I do have what I call a few close friends I do not know anyone who could step in and give the care that would be needed or truly understand her..

 

Just a update  but I will be posting more in the near future.  I have a lot of stuff I would like to cover and somethings have been on my mind…

Vile

 

 

Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on April 8, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way to start out than a definition from wikipedia ?

A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females.[1][2] A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role

Female submission describes an activity or relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.

I like this.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Where did your journey begin ? Most will say at a very young age , while others are hit later in life , maybe a life changing event , a thought , words someone speaks or maybe you stumbled across a website and you were intrigued. Growing up submissive can at times be confusing because you know you are different but you just cannot figure it out. You may go through your life and never learn the definition of who and what you are. However you do know you enjoy service, you enjoy giving up control , you enjoy letting others take the lead. Someone will say at a young age there where thoughts of older men , or being kidnapped and used. I am not sure if all have these thoughts or just those who are submissive.

In our lifestyle there are a great number who suffer from depression , I have no data this is just from my experience in the lifestyle. I am not sure how the two are connected or if they are at all. Some are willing to share with others in the lifestyle while some keep things to themselves. So this is where the importance of finding the right Dominant , one who understands you and is willing to take the lead and guide.

Depression is not the end even for those who are Dominant , although in the past I have made statements to the contrary. With the right medications and the right submissive things can run smoothly. The problem would be a submissive who is combative , has a short fuse when it comes to temper , not following rules but most argumentative. Many Dominants though will hang on with the fear of losing a partner , the fear of being alone. The greatest fear when it comes to being human is the fear of loss , be it material , or a partner.

The good is you get pleasure by serving , helping others completing task on time and the rewards of being a good girl.

The bad , you are with someone who does not understand you , nor have they ever heard the word submissive or slave , submission. What they see is someone who is weak , someone who will stand and take verbal abuse and at times physical abuse , but after all is said and done you still stand tall and proud.

Some who are submissive not all but some do not really enjoy sex , what they do enjoy is knowing they have pleased. This is where their greatest pleasure comes from. Now do I have any data ? Absolutely not , I am just speaking from my own experiences in the lifestyle. When I meet someone I drill their mind , I want to know more about them than they know their own self. The knowing you have pleased someone , makes sex enjoyable , it makes you feel needed and cared for. You are willing to do things you never even thought of or maybe thought you would never do such things but you do because you have this deep desire to please.

Over the years the different roles have come to light , it is no longer just submissive , slave or dominant or master.  The daddy dom , the daddy dom master , then the master .The baby girl , the little ,Submissive , slave  and the list goes on and one so finding the right partner , someone who understands you is most important. We as humans by nature have to have companionship we need to be with someone even if that someone is wrong , not the right fit but they are filling that hunger for the time being.

How much are you willing to give up ? How much freedom are you willing to give up? Are you going to follow rules and rituals? Are you going to allow someone to take full control? Maybe you need more but your Dom is only dominant in the bedroom and you are more of a 24/7 how would that work ? Are you willing to compromise your needs for a little companionship?

What type of submissive are you? What type of dominant are you looking for ? We are all different , we all have different needs , we all have different taste , we all have different goals.

One of the biggest myths you will hear is a submissive does not have the right to say no. That is a outright lie. You as a submissive determine how much you will give , when you will give and how and where. Remember you are a submissive not a slave but the truth is even a slave can say no if they feel like they are in danger. There is also a on off switch and many times it confuses the dominant. Once you have had enough and you are done the word no will just flow.  Once you are done you are done , the feeling of being submissive for that time just goes away.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality knowing the difference before entering a relationship. Take your time and speak with other who are submissive , stay clear of dominants , but find out what others are thinking and doing. If you do not take the proper steps you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

How do you see yourself ? How do you envision your life? What are your goals?

Meeting a new Dominant you the submissive , the slave are in complete control until you feel the time is right to enter a relationship. You should be his number one priority , you should come first no matter what. If you go a day without hearing from him , you give your first warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated , the second time it happens you drop him like a bad habit, there is no strike three. How long does it take to answer a text? How long does it take to drop a email?

Vile