Archive for the BDSM Definitions Category

The Fake Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Anal Training, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Definitions, being used, blog, blow job, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, Drama, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Married Dominant, masochist, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, punish, Punishment, relationships, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 29, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

2011 year of the Dominant. 50 shades of grey was published. The book sold some 70 million worldwide and blindfold sales increased as well.

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Fifty Shades Of Grey)

Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It is the first installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM). Originally self-published as an ebook and a print-on-demand,[1][2] publishing rights were acquired by Vintage Books in March 2012.[3][4]

There is much that has been left out. I read a little bit of the first book, and if your into reading a fantasy book then good, but it seems to many have taking it from a fantasy to reality, and not really having a clue.

The physical contact when it comes to BDSM is only about 5%, the other 95% is mental.  To be able I want to word this correctly  , to be able to be a Dominant you have to be able to get into the submissive’s or slaves head. You have to be able to stimulate their mind.We have to get to know the submissive or slave inside out. We need to know what truly makes them tick. We need to understand their emotions, we need to understand when they are having a bad day, we need to understand that when they are not communicating we need to communicate to put the submissive at ease. We need to make the submissive know we as Dominants will make everything alright.

I am not sure where or how the depression aspect plays a part, but I do know from my past experience most who are slaves or submissive suffer from some type of depression. I could not make this statement if I had only met two or three slaves , I could not make this statement if I had only met 9 or 10 submissive’s  Over the past twenty years or so I have met hundreds. Most were very dear friends. Then there were the handful that I used, even then I knew something was not right but I did not care enough to even think that something maybe wrong.

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To really get to know the submissive we have to take a walk, we have to be able to get into the brain, we so to speak. We have to be able to open every door at each section and have a full understanding of what makes the submissive tick. We have to know what makes them think the way they do, what makes the submissive like or dislike the things they do. We have to understand their limits , we also have to understand when it is time to stop.

Most who are looking for the one, will bend over backwards to please. Most will take what ever you have to dish out just to please, but if your not inside their head you have no idea the amount of damage you may be doing, and they may have no idea either, until the after. I believe this is when sub-drop is most noticeable. I believe this is when the depression really kicks in. For the most I myself believe sub-drop is preventable through proper care. Most of the time when sub-drop is present it is because the two do not live together, or the submissive is not getting the attention they need. Sub-drop does not always occur after play, you can experience sub-drop even if your alone.

If you meet a submissive who is on medication for depression or any other illness it is very important to find out why they are taking it, what its for, then you research the different meds they are taking.

I know for instance Arianna has limitations when it comes to play, so I stay away from those gray areas. I know exactly how far I can push and I know exactly when to stop. We as dominants never want to push one to that limit.

So its like you knock on the forehead you open the door and you begin your travels, your going to walk through many doors, and your going to spend a lot of time in each room, so you are able to gain information, you will want to know what makes each room tick, what makes them think the way they do.

This is why I preach to those who are new to the lifestyle if you start out having sex then that is all you have. If you do not live together you are not grasping the true means of living a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Your getting a couple of hours a week or month in a motel room, or the dominant is coming over to your apartment. You are experiencing the sexual side and nothing more. The truth is there is still another 95% you have not touched.

Being a Dominant is not about barking orders, it is not about suck my cock or get on your back, it is not about anal training while your on your webcam , or sending video with your phone. That is not BDSM

Breaking down the four letters BDSM which you probably already know but many are missing the one word that means the most. B= Bondage. Sado= someone who enjoy giving pain, someone who enjoys humiliation. Humiliation comes in many shapes and forms. Someone who many times will push your linits to far and not really care as long as they get off. Masochism = someone who enjoys receiving pain someone who enjoys humiliation, someone who enjoys being used and pushed past their limits. I am sure there are things I left out but the one word I left out, is the one thing you are or most are missing out on D = Discipline

Disciple also comes in many forms and again it is not about barking orders, it is not about making up rules as you go, it is not about punishing, in fact if you the Dominant are in full control, punishment is far and few. The last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule, or disappoint you. That is the greatest humiliation they can experience.

D= Discipline does not have to mean punishing you, because you rolled his socks up wrong, or you forgot to send a video of your anal training, or fucking your ass with a dildo so he can jack off. D= Discipline means the Dominant is in full control. He is in control and not controlling. He is in full control of his daily life, he is drama free, he is problem free. If the Dominant is not in full control of his life, how in the fuck can he control you. Telling you to suck his cock, or prepare your ass to be fucked is not Discipline.

Arianna met a Dominant one time and he told her he wanted to go back to his place so he could start her training by sucking his cock. She did decline his most gracious offer.

Those four letters BDSM run so much deeper, those four letters have a definition that never ends, because I do not believe you can ever learn everything or experience everything. The learning aspect of those four letters never end.

Now to all of you 50 shades wannabes or you dudes who just want to abuse and use, or you are married and your wife wont suck your cock so you find someone who will.

I am living the DREAM I live with my Slave, I am served by my slave emotionally and physically. My slave who is my wife is my best friend, we actually communicate. I include the one letter and I am consistent on a daily basis. The letter D= Discipline runs deep.

I seldom drink the same type of coffee in the morning. Arianna keeps a variety for me. Almost two years now when I open the door she is kneeling, her hands extended with a huge grin on her face because she is happy to see me. On the nights I get home late my clothes are laid out for me. When I shower she is kneeling by the tub, once I get out she drys me off. There is not a day that goes by she does not ask me if she can suck my cock. She does not know the words NO or I CANT. She thrives to give up control, she is always thinking of ways to give up control. Arianna has the need to serve. All because of that one letter D= Discipline.

Many of you who are submissive or baby girls the baby girls are the worst. Many of you jump from Dom to Dom, hunting and searching you think sucking cock is your way of finding the rainbow. You think this way because you believe everything you hear , or your just that desperate. Why would you settle for less just to have someone a few hours a week or a month. If you are not living together you are not gaining anything.

Having a plan to make that move is different, even if your long distance and getting to know each other but then you decide okay one of us has to move. That is real , that is how you tell someone really cares about you.

There are very few blogs here on wordpress that are positive. Most is just about bitching or how much they miss their daddy. I did not get a call on my birthday , or I sent a text 3 days ago and have not heard anything. I get to see my daddy and it has been three months. It is really depressing, and I just fucking wonder why you want to put yourself through this, why take this type of mental abuse.

I get up in the morning with Arianna , I turn the coffee pot on and we drink coffee together, but I think many of you get up and you drink a cup of stupid, just to get your day going, a cup of drama extra strong, a cup of drag me through the mud. Let me have a cup of depression to get my day started…

I am not pointing fingers at anyone so do not take it to heart, but why in the fuck would you put yourself through such abuse? Why allow someone to come in and step all over you and walk out while they are throwing you a towel to clean up and say I will see you next month. I really do not get it, because all of you could be living the dream.

Most of you Baby Girls are seeing men who are married, that I do not understand. Because you have a 99.9% chance of him not leaving his wife, you are there because there are things his wife will not do.  Then your only getting his side of the story, maybe you should go see her, give her a call to see if things are so bad, because if they were so bad he would of already left. She is the one who had his children, she has helped him buy the house and cars, she is the one who is cooking for him, she is the one doing his laundry, and yes she is still fucking him. Why would you disrespect her? What has she done to you? Why would you want to destroy what she has worked so hard to build?  It is not a question will you get caught it is when, and I can tell you it wont be pretty, because when you try to destroy her world she will destroy yours. Why put her through his mess, his fuck ups? She has done nothing to you, and you could really care less. If your Dominant or Master or Daddy really cares about you, he could pack up and leave, money or no money, I know because I did it. I lost everything, but in the end left with nothing I was happy.

If he is fucking around on his wife, do not think for one minute you are the only one he is fucking. Do not think if he does leave his wife he will not fuck around on you. Think about that.

I am living the DREAM and if your willing to put just a little effort into your life you can as well. If you 50 shades of grey Doms stop thinking with the wrong head you could as well.

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Much Love

Vile

Some Feel Bad For Arianna

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Definitions, Behavior Modification, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Domme, emotional, Emotions, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, No Rights, Protocol, Protocol public, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Slave Contract, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive on January 26, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A few of the comments that have been made has really got me to thinking, one that really hit me was the one about cutting Arianna’s hair. It sounded as is they were truly concerned about her well being.

I would just like to go over a few things, not that I have to explain myself because I do not have to, but I am going to take you a little deeper into our relationship.

Like most Arianna has probably been a slave for a very long time, I am even going back to her childhood days. While growing up being married twice, being taking advantage of several times by other men was something she was pretty much use to.

Most who are submissive or a slave know they are different, and most know they are different at a very young age. You continue to grow still having these feelings but you have no idea who to talk to. Maybe you have tried to talk to your husband or boyfriend but they did not understand, or they thought something was wrong with you.

Before I move on I will say this again. If your in a relationship and you cannot communicate, by communicate I mean being able to talk freely about anything and everything. You are in the wrong relationship. I call that a relationship of convenience, and nothing more. If you cannot talk to your partner about how you like to be spanked, slapped, tied up, or even peed on. You need to rethink your life. Are you going to live miserable for the rest of your life, or are you going to put your foot down and do something about it.

So when I first met Arianna she was out of control. She was on the verge of a serious break down and no one cared. She really had no one she could talk to and certainly not her nutty mother, who is a true wack job. She was lost and her life was spinning out of control. She was out almost every night drinking, guys were taking her money. She had spent 30.000 dollars on motorcycles .

Then we met , we had dinner I cooked for her. Baked chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, home made green beans, and rolls. I do enjoy cooking when I have time.

No I did not get a blow job nor did we fuck.

While talking well I let her talk and I just listened because I wanted to take everything in. While listening I was analyzing every word that came out of her mouth. While trying to process everything, and thinking of solutions , it really had my brain pretty much whacked by the time she left.

When she left I had a couple staying with me, and kelly said there is no way in gods world are you going to pull her in, I just winked and walked away. I may have said something as well but I do not remember.

So now I had to decide if I wanted to put that much into a relationship? We met again and like the first time we hit it off, so far the only thing we did not have in common was music.

I could see the confusion in her eye, I could see the hurt, I could feel how lost she was, and I wanted to take her by the hand right then, but we had to talk.

She told me she was a slave, she told me she wanted to serve. She told me she needed to be micromanaged. She told me she wanted no rights.

So before entering the relationship everything was pre-negotiated . I explained to her how I ran my house, my rules, and my protocols, and she agreed. So Arianna did not enter the relationship blindly.

As far as giving up control this is what she wanted, and now it has come to a point where she wanted to give up more control. This has come now because she knows she can trust me.

Arianna did have a break down. She had been seeing a doctor who had her on the wrong medication for years. Prior to that she had , had a couple but not as sever.

This was a very hard time for both of us, but we both stuck together. I was called in to speak to her counselor and we talked about our relationship. She did agree that the way our home was, it was good for Arianna to have rules and protocols. This came from a medical professional.

Cutting her hair was not a spur of the moment thing, again this was negotiated. I also wanted to see how far her submission was. We cut it she did not like it, but she was happy because I did.

Although we do not have a written contract we do have a verbal contract. It states what is expected out of each other. She states how Arianna will conduct herself at all times public or private. Where she can go, when she can go, and how long she can go. What she will wear. There is much more but again everything was negotiated, nothing is or was forced.

I believe a lot of the negative thoughts are coming from those who are younger submissives , or maybe even younger slaves. This all depends on what type of Dominant or Master you live with or what type of relationship your in.

Bottom BDSM

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Submissive (BDSM))

Male bottom held on a leash by a female top

In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.

A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.

The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex. (See bottom (sex))

Limits to submission

The acceptance of a bottom or submissive role in a BDSM relationship is seldom absolute, often operating within a set of defined limits.

A common means by which a bottom or submissive can signal to a top or dominant partner that their limits are being approached, pushed, or even crossed is the use of safewords; Extreme forms of submission or the practice of edgeplay can remove the safeword option from the bottom or submissive, although, this somewhat risky situation is entered into with the consent of the bottom or submissive.

It gives a clear definition of a submissive, or what is also known as a Bottom. The submissive does not submit on a 24/7 basis, and can put limits on their submission, as well as rules.

The world of BDSM as I posted the other day the BDSM Tree Of Life shows the different branches and the different lifestyles and that just touched on a very few.

Master and slave bdsm

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Slave

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Symbols and rituals

A slave collar with D-rings, to which a leash may be attached

Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include the wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.

Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the master has the only say in all matters relating to the body and manners of the slave, including clothing, underwear, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. However, these contracts are understood as not having any legal weight and are not intended to be used in a court of law, but are an understanding and agreement between the individuals.

In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes slave status. These collars are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves are permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home – for example during work or in social situations with people who may feel uncomfortable by them.

Slave training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the master or mistress, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the master or mistress has set out.

Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the master or mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The master or mistress will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to them. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make their master or mistress happy. Or, the slave gets a reward like food, a bed, etc.

In some instances, in more extreme relationships, it may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, cropping or clamping to encourage compliance, and to permit the slave to find an excuse for complying in their own minds. If the “slave” being trained is also a masochist, they may enjoy painful punishment, therefore punishment may need to be psychological or emotional, to create the unpleasant result that the punishment requires.

The way a submissive and Dominant live, although some who are submissive may call theirs Master out of respect. The relationship between Master and Slave is much different.

The training is much different, the intensity of the training is much more different, the consistency of the training is much different, and then the daily life is much different than that of a submissive, or lets say a baby girl.

Those of you who do not understand Arianna started a blog because she felt she needed to share some of her thoughts about what I write. Those of you who have seen it, you have the freedom to ask her anything and she will answer with all honesty.

As I stated the world of BDSM has many branches , we all take a little from this and a little from that to make us who and what we are.

Although I am not Gorean I do run my house in a Gorean way, the difference being I only have one slave. I use Gorean Protocols as well

I can assure you our relationship is consensual. There is nothing non-consensual about our relationship. To this day Arianna wants to add more, as far as giving up rights and freedom.

I can assure you Arianna is where she needs to be, wants to be. Together we will continue to grow as Husband and wife, and Master and Slave.

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Vile

Re-Post BDSM And Safety

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Definitions, BDSM Safety, Master, slave, Spanking, submissive on August 25, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a re-blog back when I was with thesexreports. A couple of awesome people, I had met…

A lot of reading enjoy..

Don’t think for a second that just because you are familiar with the safety guidelines on this page that you know everything you need to know for any scene. Also please note that there reportedly have been more injuries due to bondage than sadistic activities such as whipping; activities which pose subtle dangers often result in more harm than ones which have blatantly obvious, and thus easily avoided, dangers.

There are probably exceptions to almost any safety rule. These are guidelines; when you step outside the guidelines you need to take even more stringent precautions which compensate for the particular guidelines you are violating.

You will find some safety warnings here that you are unlikely to find other sites. There will also be warnings on other sites that I have failed to include here.

  • Never leave a person in bondage alone. They could have a panic attack or emotional crisis, drown in their own vomit, have a seizure, lose circulation, or otherwise be severely harmed. Lots of fantasy material involves leaving someone for an extended period of time (the top goes to the local watering hole for a hour or two or even leaves the sub tied up overnight); this is very risky. If you really want to leave your sub alone for a while, at least consider closed circuit television – with audio; even then, you may not notice problems which you would if you were in the same room (for example, can you tell if someone stops breathing from looking at a video monitor?)
  • Beware of constricting blood flow or pinching nerves. This can be a danger just from wrist restraints; there are important nerves and veins on the inside of the wrist. The backs of the knees are also problem areas. Make sure all bondage gear is lose enough (you should be able to easily slip a finger under it) and is non-constricting.
  • Arms raised above shoulder height for more than a half hour may not get adequate circulation. Any coldness or tingling of the hands is a very important warning sign which a sub should be instructed to report immediately.
  • Never tie anything around the front of the neck or which could apply pressure to the front of the neck when things shift.
  • Don’t whip the lower back – the kidneys are very close to the surface and easily damaged. Don’t whip where bones are close to the surface without adequate padding (long before you damage the bone, nerves and arteries can easily be pinched between your implement and the bone). Don’t whip anywhere where internal organs are not protected by bone.
  • Before placing any bondage around the chest, have the sub inhale and hold their breath; the chest cavity needs room to expand. The sub may not notice they are unable to breath properly at rest but when their oxygen needs increase due to exertion or excitement they may need more room.
  • In general, whip only the buttocks (avoid the tailbone!), upper half of the back, and maybe the inner thighs unless you have been properly trained and know where all the internal organs, arteries, veins, and nerves are located. You should familiarize yourself through both medical/anatomical sources and BDSM sources.
  • The nerves which serve the genital area actually travel from around the midpoint of the spine and diagonally down around the waist and stomach. Even a tight or heavily loaded belt or fanny pack can cause serious damage to these nerves; imagine what kind of permanent damage a piece of rope could cause. This does not seem to be very well known inside or outside the BDSM community.
  • Use extreme caution when constricting an airway such as the nose or the mouth. Leave at least one of the two open. Even that may not be adequate could be easily blocked by vomit, snot, or other causes.
  • There is some controversy over whipping the breasts. Some believe it can promote cysts or tumors.
  • Sanitize whips if there is any possibility that skin has been broken (even if you are fairly gentle, popping a zit is enough) or it has come into contact with bodily fluids.
  • Sanitize all penetration toys between uses if they are used for more than one person. A condom may be used to “customize” dildos and other toys.
  • Before blindfolding someone, check if they are wearing contacts; permanent eye damage may occur.
  • Some candles melt at higher temperatures and will cause burns. More information on candle safety is in the section on Candle Wax.
  • Ass play has many risks. Fecal material can pose a significant biological hazard even to the person who generated it; the lower end of the alimentary canal harbors many microorganisms which can cause problems if they are introduced to the mouth or vagina. Many diseases, not merely sexually transmitted ones, can be transmitted via fecal material; Cholera is epidemic in some areas with inadequate sanitation, for example. Anal penetration without adequate lubrication can cause not only extreme discomfort (typically not the erotic variety) but also serious damage; use KY jelly or other suitable lubricant and ignore those fantasies you may have read about merely using a little vaginal lubrication. Dental Dams are commonly used for protection during analingus and a piece cut from a latex glove or saran wrap can also be used; note, however, that none of these are as effective a barrier as a condom. The odds of HIV transmission via unprotected anal sex is about ten times greater than via unprotected vaginal sex. Use of a good quality condom (many popular ones are not so good) improves the odds by around a factor of ten, which makes protected anal sex about as dangerous as unprotected vaginal sex.
  • Golden Showers are considerably less risky than ass play. Urine is normally pretty sterile and has even been used as an antiseptic in third world countries and during wartime when others were not available. There are some diseases which can survive or be transmitted by urine, however; just ask anyone with a urinary tract infection. Hepatitis B, in particular, can be present in urine. The risk of disease transmission may be less than for unprotected vaginal intercourse.
  • Submissives should take caution when meeting someone they do not know in real life for play. You may well find yourself at the mercy of a predator or someone who doesn’t intend to cause harm but does not know how to prevent it. Meet the person in a public place to get to know them before considering play. Get references. Before you meet for play, let someone you trust know who you will be with and where you will be and arrange phone calls and code words to call the police; an organization called safetyNET has some more precautions and may be able to arrange a safety buddy.
  • Establish safe words.
  • There is some question about whether whipping or beating breasts can contribute to cancer. Trauma to the breasts or oxygen deprivation due to bondage can cause Fat Necrosis which will cause lumps which mimic breast cancer and may need to be surgically removed. For more information, visit Healthy Brest Bondage. Lengths of time you can keep the breasts bound based on the number of fingers you can insert under the rope: 0 fingers – 15 minutes, 1 finger 30 minutes, 2-3 fingers 45 minutes. After the specified duration, the breasts should be unbound for a minimum of 15 minutes.
  • Don’t trust a dominant who is put off by your safety precautions or tells you you are not a good submissive if you don’t take risks you are not comfortable with.
  • You should be able to release a submissive from bondage and/or suspension quickly in the event of an emergency. EMT shears may be used to cut ropes and other bondage. Bolt cutters can be used to cut locks and other hardware. Beware of hardware which requires you to lift a sub before you can lower them. Quick release hardware or cutting ropes may not allow you to safely lower someone in an emergency; it is better to have a setup which allows controlled lowering rather than just release.
  • Beware of hardware which may fail under the weight of a thrashing submissive. Eyebolts/screws which miss the center of a ceiling joist or are to small or which can unscrew can cause an accident. Hardware which is too small can fail; use hardware which has a specific load rating (and use a safety factor of 7-10). Quality hardware can be obtained from marine and caving/climbing suppliers.
  • If the submissive has Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in the wrists, you may need to use special bondage restraints. Bondage gloves or CTS wrist braces may be modified to make restraints.
  • People with TMJ may not be able to open the mouths far enough or long enough for traditional penetrative oral sex. In many cases, however, they may be able to provide good oral service just using their lips and tongue.
  • A top/dominant should find out if the bottom/sub has any medical conditions which could cause problems during a scene. Many, if not most, medical conditions may require special precautions for various types of scenes and in some cases may preclude certain scenes.

Sanitation

A 10% bleach solution, 70% isotropy alcohol, or hydrogen peroxide are effective in destroying HIV. Clean the item with soap and water, dry, clean with sanitizer, and then rinse and dry. Leather toys are harder to sanitize. Leather is porous and may harbor microorganisms and may be damaged by washing and/or sanitizing. Leather items may need reconditioning after washing and/or sanitizing; a little neats foot oil can often be used to recondition the leather. Suede and other delicate leathers can be particularly easily damaged. Some items can be sanitized using heat, although this will damage many others. Boiling for 20 minutes is pretty effective. Metal instruments can be autoclaved. Alcohols are not effective against bacterial spores. Bleach solutions should be made the same day. Alcohol is highly flammable; be careful around candles and other open source of flame. Soap helps remove oils which may harbor bacteria and viruses but doesn’t disinfect itself. Nicks, cracks, pores, etc. can harbor infections agents. Rinsing in water helps dilute infectious agents. Using more than one sterilizing agent may improve effectiveness. Air drying helps kill HIV and many others, although you may also pick up air borne agents. If you will be intentionally breaking skin, you probably want to take more precautions than outlined here. Betadine solution is frequently used and blades, needles, and whips are often reserved exclusively for use on a single person. Some people are allergic to iodine based antibacterial agents like betadine. Alcohol stings when used on open wounds.

I have a surplus medical sterilizer. Unfortunately, it is basically a boiling water setup which does not get hot enough to kill some of the more hardy pathogens although it will destroy many including HIV and it makes a good prop for a medical scene An ordinary pressure cooker can be used as an autoclave. Be sure to follow the manufacturers directions for exhausting the air or it won’t be effective. Heat sensitive autoclave tape may be used inside to tell if you have reached the necessary temperature.

I also have a real autoclave. Autoclaving and Dry Heat Sterilization (the latter requires tempertures high enough to damage most BDSM gear) are the only effective means of sterilizing things. Hepatitis B and C viruses (HBV and HCV) are resistant to all chemical sterilizers. Any toys which have been exposed to blood, and possibly other bodily fluids, need to be autoclaved or dry heat sterilized (at higher temperature and for a longer time than autoclave). Ethelene Oxide sterilizers might or might not be effective against diseases such as HBV, HCV, and TB. HCV is reportedly only found in blood, not other bodily fluids. This means that ordinary sex is unlikely to transmit the disease (provided there are no cuts or lesions) but anything that involves even undetectably small amounts of blood is risky. There is no immunization against HCV. HBV is very easy to transmit and is found in many body fluids and can be transmitted by indetectibly small quantities of those fluids. There is a vaccine to immunize against HBV (although it is not effective in 20% of individuals); vaccination against HBV is advisable for BDSM players.

Whips made from nylon, and which don’t use cheap glues, can be subjected to much more serious disinfecting. There are instructions for making whips from nylon rope on this page; these are very inexpensive so you can have one for each person or they can be thoroughly washed and sterilized.

It should also be noted that there are many other blood borne diseases that are not normally considered STDs that could be transmitted by play which involves blood, even incidentally.

Hepatitis C was found int 35% of saliva samples and 57% of urine specimens taken from patients with HCV. The virus was detected with a modified PCR test which is very sensitive The amount present was 1E5/units/ml in serum, 5E1/units/ml in saliva, and 3E1 units/mil in urine. So, it would appear that blood has about 2000 times as much HCV as urine or saliva. J Med Virol 41: 120-8 (1993)[94110774] As little as 0.000040ml of blood can cause HBV infection.

Comfort

Even if your sub wants you to flog the shit out of them, seemingly minor discomforts such as being too hot, to cold, or needing a pillow for their head may ruin a scene. Be careful not to cause any pain or discomfort other than that which is intended. And uncomfortable bondage gear can be worse than a distraction; pinched nerves and cutoff circulation can cause permanent harm.

Hot Wax

Beeswax candles melt at a much higher, and damaging temperature; beeswax itself only melts 10 degrees hotter but they typically have more temperature raising additives than parafin based candles. Colorants and perfumes can raise the melting point although they apparently don’t do so by much. Metallic chips in candles can get very hot and cause burns. Sterine is used as a hardener in candles and can raise the melting point substantially; long burning candles have too much stearine and will cause harm. The top should always test candles by dripping wax on the back of the hand. The greater the height wax is dropped from, the more time it has to cool. Wax temperature can exceed the melting point if it is not in equilibrium with solid wax; if you use a pot of some sort to heat the wax, be very careful about temperature (a thermometer is a good idea). Taper candles apparently produce hotter wax than larger and enclosed candles where the wax pools and reaches equilibrium with the solid parafin. An article on Candle Composition gives some more information. Avoid areas with hair – it is hard to remove wax from these areas and you might permanently remove the hair (although if you use a low temperature wax and remove the wax with a flea comb you can probably get away with it). There is a little metal dodad at the bottom of the wick of many candles. If the wax has melted down to the dodad it may fall onto your sub and cause burns. Removing the dodad, however, poses a fire hazard. The dodad is there partly to hold the wick in place while the candle is poured but it has another function which is to spread the heat from the wick and keep the wick from burning down within a quarter inch of the glass; without it, the glass is likely to break from the heat; even with it, don’t trust glass, particularly untempered glass, to contain a burning candle. Mason jars will probably withstand the heat better than many other jars, since mason jars are intended to be heated, but they may be exposed to temperatures, and temperature differentials, beyond what they were designed for. Use of an open flame around alcohol (as might be used in a scene for its sanitizing, cooling, and/or stinging properties) can pose a substantial fire and burn hazard. Candles left unattended (perhaps while you sleep) can pose a serious fire hazard. At the very least, put the candle in a metal container. Sir Michael describes in an article how a pillar candle, which they forgot to extinguish before going to bed, split down the side exposing more wick resulting in a larger flame which quickly burned down to the furniture underneath and set their dungeon on fire causing $10,000 worth of damage before the smoke detector woke them up. The area directly over the candle can get hot enough to ignite even at a considerable distance from the candle; use a metal baffle, or at least a piece of aluminum foil, if you are burning a candle without several feet of clearance overhead.

You can purchase bulk parafin, sterine, wicks, and candle molds at some crafts stores and make your own candles to fit your own needs. You can also purchase parafin at many grocery stores along with other canning supplies. You can purchase bulk parafin, sterine, wicks, and candle molds at some crafts stores and make your own candles to fit your own needs. You can also purchase parafin at many grocery stores along with other canning supplies. Used wax may be remolded into candles (don’t add even more sterate or other additives unless that is what you really want) the heat from the molding and/or burning processes should kill most nasty pathogens. You can hold scraps of wax over a burning candle to quickly increase the size of the pool of parafin; give this wax a little time to reach equilibrium with the solid wax. Wax melted in this way will have some black carbon contamination (which may affect the melting point) and if you add too much wax this way you may actually extinguish the candle. Also, wax may be easier to remove from hairy areas while it is still slightly warm and if it has been applied thinly. Fully refined parafin melts at 130-135 degrees F. Beewswax without additives melts at around 143-145 degrees F (lower if refined) but more temperature raising additives are typically used when making candles. Spectrum’s Hot Wax article gives the results of some experiments on wax and downplays the affect of candle composition while emphasizing candle shape. I intend to update the section above based on my interpretation of spectrum’s results.

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Vile

I wanted to post Some BDSM Definitions that may better explain the Lifestyle

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Definitions on July 28, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Since one should never assume that everyone knows the same words and meanings when reading or writing, the following is a glossary of terms and definitions that are common in a number of the books listed in this primer.

Age play – A type of role play to gratify a fetish surrounding age; typically daddy/child or mommy/child fantasies [see also: Infantilism]

Algolagnia – The act of transforming pain into sexual pleasure. A synonym for sadomasochism SM. [see Sadism, sadist; Sadomasochism; Masochism, masochist]

Alternative sexuality – A sexual orientation that differs from a preference for vaginal intercourse (with minor variations) within a monogamous heterosexual relationship.

Alternative lifestyle – Having a sexuality that differs significantly from the “norm’ (see Alternative sexuality) may make an alternative lifestyle necessary or desirable. A sexual orientation less common than the norm may stigmatize the individual pushing the person to seek a more accepting subculture. An example is homosexuality and the formation of the gay community.

Analplay – Any sexual or fetish practice concerning the anus and/or rectum, chiefly includes: anal sex, rimming, enema play, and anal fisting (handballing.)

Anal training – Preparation of the anus for anal play.

Anilingus – Anal-oral sex. Dental dam or plastic wrap is helpful for preventing exchange of harmful organisms.

Animal play – Role playing wherein one or both partners assumes the role of an animal, chiefly: puppy, dog, and pony.

Asphyxiation play – Restricting air (and/or blood) flow by choking to enhance the sensation of orgasm. Very dangerous play, not recommended.

BDSM – Once upon a time this was all called Sadomasochism (SM, S/M or S&M) and the players were all deemed very bad, sick, perverted people. We were just people though, as horny as everyone is, with a little kink to make us special. But some of us didn’t want to be called sick, bad perverts and these people invented names like Dominance and Submission (D&S, DS or D/s), Love Bondage (Love Bondage) and Bondage and Discipline (B&D) to make themselves and the pleasure police think that what they did was different from what those sad, twisted, nasty old sadomasochists did, no no! Then we all got online with our personal computers (well, a lot of us did) and began doing what people do best when they’re not having sex: argue. For months arguments about labels for our kinks clogged up the computer networks.
Finally, the term BDSM was born. This made many kinky people happy because it incorporated Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS) and Sadomasochism (SM). We told the Love Bondage set that we loved them very much. To prove it, we tied them all up and dumped them in a deserted warehouse in East L.A. where we kept them bound in a circle whining Barry Manilow tunes from behind their gags. Did the arguments stop? Fat chance. Most of us, though, have found other things to argue about between sexual encounters.

Black lightning – A common nickname for a black fiber glass or resin rod that is used as a cane. Denser than rattan, it can inflict deeper damage and the feel is described as ‘cutting.’ [see Cane]

Black snake – A type of single-lash whip that is flexible all the way to the knob.

Bloodsport – SM practices that result in drawing blood. Can include whipping or caning that breaks the skin, branding. cutting, and piercing.

Body fluid monogamy, body fluid bonding – A practice of sharing body fluids only between two partners in order to observe safer-sex recommendations. Commonly, the partners have been tested negative for HIV, sometimes also for Hepatitis B and C. The partners may or may not play with others outside their relationship, but only by observing strict safer-sex rules. [see Safer Sex]

Bondage – Any practice involving restraints placed on the body to restrict free Dom of movement.

Bondage and discipline, B&D – A classic term referring to several sexual practices including: bondage, slave training, corporal punishment, and dominant/submissive role play.

Bondage belt – A belt, usually leather with metal rings attached, to assist in performing bondage. Bondage frame – Any stationary device used to assist in performing bondage.

Bondage harness – A configuration of straps, usually leather or nylon designed to: 1) ornament the body, and 2) aid in bondage and suspension bondage.

Bottom – An SM practitioner who submits to bondage, training, role play, corporal punishment, etc., but who is not necessarily emotionally committed to his/her dominant partner (top).

Bottoming from the top – Originally a derogatory term for a top who allows his bottom to run the scene, ‘bottoming from the top” has become a valid style of play. Most tops experience some scenes where they prefer to take at least some direction from their bottoms. Some even prefer this style of play and may call themselves submissive sadists. [see also, Topping from the bottom]

Bottom-space or sub-space – A type of erotically altered consciousness (EAC) identified with feelings of falling into a state of submission. Generally, bottom- or sub-space may be characterized by, diminished ego awareness, less active cognitive behavior, surrendering of will, and/or inability to verbalize. Frequently these functions are assumed by the dominant partner who becomes the submissive’s center of focus.

Brat – A bottom who enjoys struggling against control or challenging the top. Brattiness has a wide spectrum from the playful ‘uppity bottom’ to the smart-ass masochist (which see). Some brats are ‘testing’ their dominant, others have a desire to be ‘conquered and tamed,’ while some simply do not wish to be controlled. [see Smart-ass masochist]

Brain fade – A state of confusion and/or inability to reason experienced by the submissive. This effect usually results from psychological domination, the mind-fuck, or a deepening submissive state. [see Bottom-space, Sub-space]

Breast bondage – Tying the female breasts with cord, string, rope. rubber bands, scarves, etc. as a part of SM or erotic play. May include nipple bondage or clamping.

Breath control – Control of breathing by the dominant through use of a gas mask or similar apparatus, by choking, or by covering the mouth and nose.

Body modification – The general term for practices that reshape or ornament the body for ritual, erotic, decorative, or fetish purposes. The practices commonly include tattooing, piercing, branding, cutting, and corsetry.

Boundaries – Usually refers to limits (which see) negotiated prior to SM play.

Branding – Burning the skirt usually with heated metal, to produce scarification. Branding can be a part of a scene, ritual, or body modification. The design often consists of several unconnected lines and curves, each requiring a separate strike with heated metal, bent to form its part of the design. The reason for the unconnected lines is to assure that elements of the design do not scar into a shapeless mass; human skin heals differently than the hides of livestock.

Buggywhip – A single thong whip with a rigid core and a flexible cracker at the end.

Cage, bondage cage – Yup, a cage is a cage. These are big enough to hold the whole submissive.

Cane – Traditional canes are flexible rattan or bamboo optionally having a leather wrapped handle. Modern canes may be plastic or fiber glass.

Caning – The art of using a cane on a bottom.

Cat or cat o’ nine tails – The term originally referred to a whip used by British navy. Now, cat usually to refers to all multi-thonged whips.

Catharsis – Purgation of emotions and or stress through an SM scene may or may not be intentional.

CHDW or Chudwa – Acronym for a Clueless, Horny (or Het), Dominant Wannabe (pronounced chudwa). Term of derision used on alt.sex.bondage Internet newsgroup.

Checking-in – Asking the submissive how they are doing, feeling, etc. during a scene. Specific questions get more useful answers. An affirmative response to ‘Are you ok?’ may merely indicate that death is not impending, but there still may be problems, particularly with a macho sub. ‘Would you enjoy heavier (or lighter) sensations?” is a better question. In SM play ‘is this good for you?’ Is asked during a scene rather than the typical ‘was ft good for you?’ afterwards. Checking-in should not replace a dominant’s own observation and focus, it is another part of the safety net.

Cinching – 1) Wearing of a cincher, a garment similar to. but less encompassing than a corset. 2) A bondage technique, for example, to tighten coils of rope holding the wrists together by wrapping the coils between the wrists by one or more ‘cinch loops’ of rope.

Clamp, clamping – Nipple clamps, clothespins, and binder clips are used to pinch or squeeze a small bit of flesh. The target areas for clamping are nipples, cocks, vulvas. and other erotically sensitive areas such as the sides of the torso and inner thighs. Weights can be added to Increase the rigor.

Clip – [see Clamp, Clamping]

Clean – A code word used to describe a condition of being disease free.

Cock and ball torture or CBT – Tortures are inflicted on these body parts using clothespins, clamps, cock cages, weight, and various kinds of bindings.

Code word(s) – Word(s) used in personal ads to disguise sexual proclivities that may be unacceptable to mainstream society, e.g.: English culture, French culture, Greek, clean, discipline, strict, leather, etc.

Collar, collared – 1) A symbol of surrender worn by a submissive. A collar Is given in a relationship as a profound symbol of a commitment and bond. A ‘collared” submissive is considered to be owned (which see) or partnered with a dominant player. 2) A piece of bondage equipment worn around the throat.

Conditional compliance – the SM one-nighter, a limited exchange of power negotiated by a Dom and sub for a single scene or brief period of play, such as overnight, one day, or one weekend.

Conditioning – The term used in psychology for the deliberate process of creating a psychological link between a desired response and an unrelated stimulus. Much of what people in the SM community refer to as training or slave training uses classic conditioning techniques. Psych 101 would have a huge enrollment if university professors realized that training a sub to orgasm on command is a lot more interesting than training pigeons to play ping-pong.

Condom – A latex or nitrile sheath used on a penis or toy as a barrier to prevent the transmission of disease or pregnancy. Natural lambskin condoms are also available, but don’t function effectively to prevent the spread of viral illness. [always practice safe sex.]

Consensual – Behavior or activities agreed to by all parties involved. True consent Is informed consent and requires a reasonably accurate knowledge of possible risks.

Contrapolar stimulation ‘Hurts so good’ – A type of physical stimulation that incorporates feeling of both pleasure and pain.

Corporal – Activities that involve the striking of one individual by another are called corporal from the term corporal punishment. Typically corporal activities include spanking, flogging, paddling, and caning.

Counting – The ritual counting of strokes received. The sub may be required to thank the dominant with each count. Example: ‘One, thank you Sir. Two, thank you Sir. etc.’ A typically diabolic practice is to start the count over again each time a mistake Is made. Some masochists never seem to get the count correct. even with their shoes off.

Covenant of dominance and submission – A deeply committed symbiotic relationship between a dominant and a submissive.

Crossdressing – Dressing in clothes of the opposite gender.

Crucifixion – Bondage incorporating a stationary cross. The submissive’s arms and legs are tied, not nailed. Care must be taken to ensure that the torso is properly supported, otherwise, strangulation may occur.

Cuff, cuffing – 1) Placing handcuffs. manacles, or similar restraints on the wrists and/or ankles. 2) Also refers to the restraints in the noun form.

Cutting – 1) Slicing the skin as a part of body modification, ritual, or scene. Most frequently, designs are transferred to the skin as they would be for the creation of a tattoo. Then either scalpels, razor blades, art knives, or other cutting tool incise the skin at a depth of 1/ 16″ to 3/ 16.’ Cuttings can include color by means of tattoo inks or cigar (not cigarette) ash rubbed Into the fresh wounds. Care should always be taken to insure sterile conditions. 2) The breaking of skin by use of a corporal instrument. Single lash whips, canes, crops and others can cut if used improperly. 3) The deep stingy feel of some toys.

Dental dam – A latex barrier used for cunnilingus or anilingus to prevent disease transmission. Plastic food wrap Is an inexpensive, but satisfactory, substitute.

Derivative pleasure, immediate/delayed – Corporal strokes that are painful at impact, but pleasurable following Initial execution. An immediately derived pleasure stroke feels good right after the impact. Delayed derivative pleasure is an accumulation of painful strokes that explodes into sexual heat some time later.

Discipline – The “D’ in B&D that can mean; 1) punishment 2) structured training of a submissive.

Do-me queen/king – A bottom that takes passive delight from the physical activities of scening without a desire to give submission or pleasure in return.

Dominance, dominance & submission, D/S D&S – The consensual empowerment of one partner by the other for erotic enhancement. Dominance and submission are the psychological and emotional underpinnings of SM. [see Power exchange]

Dominant, Dom, Domme, Domina, Dominatrix – The person who Is given control In a consensual exchange of power. Domme, Domina. and Dominatrix refers to women. Dominant , or Dom can refer to either gender.

Dressing for Pleasure, DFP – 1) An annual, international fetish community event featuring a weekend of socializing, workshops, boutiques, a fashion show and a ball. This convention of the strange and wonderful is sponsored by a SM boutique in Upper Montclair, NJ by the same name. The proprietress of the DFP is the world renowned dominant, Marie Constance.

Edge play – Erotic role play near or at the edge of a submissive’s or dominant’s limits. The term also refers to activities that carry a higher than usual element of risk.

Electro-torture – The use of electrical stimulation to create a desired physical sensation.

Emotional buttons, emotional triggers – Associations with words, behaviors, or activities that provoke a strong emotional reaction. Dominants will do well to become familiar with the unique triggers of Ws submissive. It is important to know, as much as possible, which buttons evoke positive and negative responses.

Endorphins, endorphin high – Endorphins are substances created by the body to help endure pain or stress. Entirely natural but theoretically similar in feel to opiates. The body’s release of endorphins may create a feeling of well-being, even intoxication, which is called an endorphin high. People differ dramatically in their abfflt3r to release endorphins. The possibility of addiction to endorphins has been conjectured.

Enema – The instrument used for, or the act of injecting fluid into the anus to flush the lower intestines. Some people Include enemas in SM scenes for humiliation. for preparation for other activities (such as fisting {handball) or anal sex), and/or simply because they may enjoy the sensation.

English – A code word for spanking or corporal punishment sometimes used in ads. We will have achieved social acceptance when ads in mainstream papers can say, -Romantic sadist seeks masochist lover,” instead of nonsense like, ‘devotee of English culture seeks receptive partner.’

Erotic power – Erotic power is like potential energy, becoming significant only when it is exchanged or used to empower a dominant by the transfer of control.

Erotic pain – Stimuli that are painful under normal circumstances, but are pleasurable or arousing in a sexual context.

Erotic restraint – Restricting movement for erotic play. Also, refers to the devices used for said purpose.

Erotic surrender – The sexually motivated gift of control of one’s self (within negotiated limits) to one’s partner. A more accurately descriptive phrase for submission.

Erotically altered consciousness, EAC – Any one of several altered states of consciousness achieved by erotic stimulation. [see: Bottom-space, Sub-space; Endorphin high, Flying, Top-space]

Erotocomatose lucidity – Term coined by Aleister Crowley to describe the state of mind resulting from sexual practices used by his followers of Sexual Magik.

Fang-chung shu (arts of the inner chamber) – The collective term for Taoist (Chinese) sexual techniques practiced to achieve unity with the Tao and/or immortality. They are said to have induced altered states of consciousness. Ho-ch’i (unification of breaths) Is a technique of fang-chung shu. The goals and. techniques of the fang-chung shu are similar to some employed in SM.

Fetish – A sexual fixation on an activity or object.

Fetish community – The name given to that group of people having an alternate sexual or gender orientation, but excluding the (vanilla) gay and lesbian communities.

Fire & ice – The use of hot and cold for sexual stimulation. especially hot wax dripped from a candle and ice applied to the skin.

Fisting – Insertion of the entire hand into the vagina (vaginal fisting or the anus (anal fisting or handball).

Flagellation – The act of whipping a human being.

Flogger, flogging – An unbraided multi-thonged whip is a flogger. To whip using a flogger or other corporal instruments.

Flying – A transcendent state of consciousness sometimes achieved during an SM scene. This rapturous state has been so often described in a similar manner by independent sources that we have no doubt of the validity of the experience. Feelings described by the submissive seem similar to that of out of body experiences and often include a psychic link to the dom. Most commonly, this link is felt as either a tether to the dominant or as a feeling of being surrounded and protected by the Dom’s presence or consciousness. Elation and spaciness experienced after flying may be felt for hours, even days after the session has ended.

French – A common code word for kissing involving the tongue, cunnilingus, and fellatio.

Foot fetish. foot worship – A sexual obsession directed toward the feet and/or shoes.

Forced oral, forced ass – Sexual role play where the Dom pretends to force an activity that the sub pretends they are under duress to perform. It involves a shared suspension of reality. (A Dom only ‘forces’ the sub to perform activities he or she has requested.)

Gag. gaggage – devices that are inserted in or cover the mouth to muffle sound.

Gear – Toys, props. clothes and what-have-you used for scene purposes.

Gender community – People with cross-gender fantasies or cross-gender Identification. Cross-dressers, transvestites, and transsexuals make up the gender community.

Gender orientation – Gender orientation Is an Issue apart from sexual orientation. It is self-identification and feelings of maleness or femaleness, rather than issues of sexual attraction. A person with an alternate gender orientation may or may not have an alternate sexual orientation. For example; a transvestite or a transsexual may be either heterosexual or gay.

Gender play – To dress up or take the role of the opposite sex during a scene. [see Sissiflcation

German – A code word for Sadomasochistic desires.

Golden shower – Urination on or in another person. Piss play.

Gorean – The term comes from a series of books written by John Norman about an imaginary planet called Gor. The slave culture described in these novels has acquired a cult following and Gorean elements are used in some SM fantasy role play.

Greek – The code word for anal sexual activities.

Handcuff – These metal shackles are used to bind wrists by law enforcement personal legally. and by sadomasochists, covertly. Handcuffs are considered weapons and illegal to own in most areas of the US, but are easy to buy and commonly used.

Head games – 1) Domination where the focus is primarily mental, such as humiliation, rather than physical, such as bondage or whipping. 2) Non-consensual psychological manipulation to make a person respond in a particular way for one’s own purposes.

Heavy – 1) Intense SM play or whipping. 2) A term describing an SM toy such as a flogger or cane that is capable of delivering intense sensations.

Hedonic engineering – A phrase coined by Timothy (‘turn on, tune in, drop out’) Leary and Robert Anton Wilson to describe techniques of sexual reimprinting to overcome negative sexual imprinting by societal and/or parental influences. Some people use Leary’s and Wilson’s techniques in their scenes.

Hood – A covering for the head. Hoods used in SM are made of various materials, especially; leather, spandex, and rubber. Some hoods are constructed as ornamentation, others are used as a part of bondage to control or restrict sight, sound, speech (by incorporating a gag), and/or breathing.

Humiliation – Playful embarrassment or humbling a person by teasing them about their sexual desires can be part of erotic control. Humiliation in SM can paradoxically build a person’s self-esteem rather than tearing it down by reinforcing their sexuality. Real attacks on a person’s self-worth or sexuality, or manipulations designed to break their spirit are abuse not within the appropriate practice of SM.

Infantilism – Role play involving infant-like behavior such as diaper wearing, nursing, etc.

In-role – Assuming the persona of a sexual archetype or fantasy character.

Isolation – 1) A fear of interrelating with others. People are often; a) afraid to ‘come out’ about their attraction to SM out of fear of societal repercussions, or b) they may think that no one shares their attraction to a particular SM (or other sexual) practice. In both cases, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, depression, and/or loneliness. 2) A technique of sensory deprivation, bondage, and trickery to make a submissive feel as though he or she is being left alone.

Japanese bondage – [see Oriental bondage, rope dress]

Kajira – A term taken from John Norman’s Gore series to refer to a Gorean female pleasure slave.

Katherine wheel – A piece of dungeon equipment that looks like a large, vertically mounted wheel to which a submissive is bound, allowing him/her to be turned or spun. Warning: not for use with the sub who is inclined toward motion sickness.

Knifeplay – Play that includes the use of a knife (does not necessarily imply cutting). Knives are more often used as props for psychological effect, to scrap wax from a body after a fire and ice scene, to remove clothing, and endless other devious purposes.

Latex – Latex and rubber are used to make clothing, sheets and other fetish Items.

Leather, Leather sex, Leather Lifestyle – We dress conspicuously in leather, bind each other with straps of it, and whack each other with leather toys. This might be why leather has become synonymous with SM.

Leather butt – 1) A term that describes a person who has been beaten so often that only intense whipping has any effect. 2) The condition of the buttocks after heavy paddling. The skin compresses and becomes stiff or -leathery’ to the touch. The compression effect is most pronounced with paddles. so leather butt can be avoided by using a mixture of implements.

Lifestyler – A person who lives a lifestyle that supports rather than conflicts with his SM fantasy archetype. Some lifestylers object to the characterization of their SM identities as fantasy role play, feeling that it Is integral to their personalities rather than a sexual game. It is easy, and often attractive, to confuse reality and fantasy. [see Alternate sexuality; Alternate lifestyle; In-role]

Limit – The boundaries of SM activities set by both dominant and submissive during negotiation defining what each is willing and unwilling to do within a scene. Limits must be respected and never intentionally breached by either partner. Limits apply to roles, levels of dominance and submission, and duration of time, as well as physical activities such as whipping, paddling. etc.

Live-in slave – A lifestyle submissive in a committed relationship who lives within the context of a slave/master (or mistress) fantasy.

Living In Leather (LiL) – A leather-SM-fetish convention held annually in the fall. This huge pansexual SM gathering includes seminars, workshops, events and parties. It is held in a different location every year. For details contact your local NIA chapter or look for advertisements in the major scene magazines.

Macho sub – A submissive with a reluctance to show distress, use a safe word, or who feels a need to stoically endure what is not pleasurable. The macho sub may be motivated by a desire to prove his/her mettle, show devotion, or reflect his/her internal fantasy. The macho sub must make sure the Dom is aware of his/her inclinations during negotiation. The Dom of a macho submissive should rely more on a checking-in technique and less on spontaneous feedback. The macho sub’s saving grace is a strong desire to obey. Ordering him/her to communicate clearly about stress. as it occurs can override some of his/her reluctance to ‘be a wimp.’

Masochism, masochist – The erotic enjoyment of pain, humiliation, and/or of being dominated. One who enjoys pain, etc. Sometimes the terms are used to describe one who enjoys heavier pain.

Master – A male that takes the dominant role in SM role play. The title may be bestowed upon the male dominant in appreciation of his skill. It may be a term of endearment or a loving tribute to a Dom by a submissive in a relationship. Equally often, the term is self-aggrandizement by a male with dominant fantasies, not infrequently with ‘true’ or ‘real ‘ tacked in front.

Mental bondage – Ropeless bondage by command. A submissive instructed by his/her dominant to remain in position will feel bound to obey.

Mind – The predominant human sex organ.

Mistress – A female dominant. [see Dominant, Dom, Domme, Domina. Dominatrix

My kink is okay, yours is not – A self-limiting and community-destructive attitude amongst intolerant SM practitioners. It is always best, and polite, to reserve judgment about someone’s sexuality and interests. Every kink, no matter how mild or far-out, will offend some and delight others.

Mummification – A bondage technique of completely or almost completely wrapping a submissive in restrictive material such as; plastic wrap, spandex, elastic or gauze bandages, etc.

Negotiation – The process of determining the practices and boundaries of sexual and SM activities between a top and a bottom. It may apply to the whole relationship or just a specific scene. Negotiating Is an ongoing process that Is repeated as the players’ needs change.

‘9 1/2 Weeks’ – A book about an erotic but abusive SM relationship and a movie made from the book. There is some debate whether the story is based on reality or is pure fiction, but the kind of events depicted can and do happen to real people.

Nipple clamps, nipple cups – [see Clamp, Clamping]

Nipple play/torture – Stimulation of the nipples for corporal or erotic purposes. Often includes: sucking, pinching, clamping, fire and ice, or piercing.

Nonconsensual – SM play that is not sanctioned by either player.

Nostril strap – A device, usually of bent wire, with a string attached for hooking into the nostrils for humiliation and torment. Commonly used in Japanese SM.

Novice – A person with an interest in SM. but lacking in experience.

‘O’ fantasy – The Story of ‘O’ by Pauline Reage telling of a young women’s descent into submission and her slave training remains one of the classics of SM. Elements from this fictional piece find their way into many a fantasy. ‘O’ is also used as a code word for SM.

Oriental bondage, rope dress – Any of a number of styles of rope bondage stemming from styles used in the Far East. basically, the bondages are highly decorative, uniform, and symmetrical.

Over the knee, OTK – A classic spanking position. Also a code word for same.

Ownership, absolute ownership – 1) Within master/slave role play ownership means having control of the submissive. 2) Loosely used in the SM community to mean an ongoing dominant/submissive relationship. 3) Absolute ownership is a lost-in-fantasy relationship based on sadomasomythology and fictional lore.

Paddle, paddling – A rigid flat-surfaced implement usually of leather or wood used for spanking a fanny. Paddling Is the act of using a paddle. A paddle Is also the implement that a wise-ass masochist often finds herself up the creek without.

Pain slut – A masochist who derives pleasure from physical pain.

Pansexual – Nongender specific sexual orientation. A group that encompasses all sexual and gender orientations is said to be pansexual.

Paradise Electro Stimulation, PES – A device that electrically stimulates-muscle contraction. made by a company of the same name. The base control unit regulates attachments for vaginal, rectal, penal, and clitoral stimulation.

Pervert – One who deviates from the sexual norm. Yeah, we’re perverts, and proud of it, tool

Piercing – Piercing the skin with a needle in an SM scene. as ritual. or as body modification. Most frequently, piercings are accompanied by the installation of jewelry. An exception to this is play piercing. In play piercing, the needle is inserted into or through, the skin as a part of a scene. but the wound(s) are often allowed to heal without jewelry being introduced. In play piercings, many parts of the skin may be pierced at the same time. Sometimes. the needles are left in the skin throughout the scene. tied together by string, thread. or rope, then removed at the close of the scene.
Piercings that are intended to be permanent usually are placed in sites common among people of the Near East for ornamental and erotic value. These sites are, typically; nostril and septum of the nose, ears (in the lobes, tragus, and helix), lips, nipples, along the shaft and head of the penis, the scrotum. inner and outer labia, and the hood of the clitoris. Some newer fashions of piercings include the webs between the fingers, the eyebrows, and the bridge of the nose.
Erotic piercings are said to enhance sensation to the body parts that are pierced. Raelyn Gallina. body modification expert (she performs piercings, cuttings, and brandings) and jeweler from Oakland, CA, invented a piercing called the “Triangle”, which penetrates the clitoral hood on both sides, and underneath the clitoris. Thus, the ring installed contacts the clitoris in a place totally beneath the skin.
People seeking piercings are warned not to use piercing ‘guns’ sewing needles, or safety pins. It is best to seek professional assistance which is available in most parts of the United States. Canada, and Europe. Very often tattoo shops will be associated with professional piercers. These people have the equipment to provide sterile piercings and the knowledge to recommend proper after care.

Pillory – Handed down from the reign of the Puritans, a pillory is usually wooden-framed, free-standing stocks that imprisons the head and wrists for immobilizing a person. For use with the humiliation of your choice.

Pizzle – The dried and stretched penis of a bull, or other large animal formed into a whip. These are actually deadly toys.

Plastic wrap – Regular, old plastic food wrap can be used for encasing the body for bondage. Unlike food, it will not keep your submissive fresh. [see Mummification]

Play – Participating in an SM scene or SM scene activity.

Playroom, Play space – Any area you designate in which to perform an SM scene. Hotel rooms, secluded woods, and delivery vans qualify as well as a permanently furnished basement or dungeon. Also referred to as dungeon space.

Play punishment – The use of punishment as an excuse for an erotic encounter. She burnt the toast that morning, forgot to say, ‘Sir,’ or some other trivial misdeed and, alas, must be corrected. Somehow, both end up getting what they crave. As a game, this beats the heck out of strip monopoly. Punishment is an erotic game that should never be used to address serious problems.

Ponygirl, Ponyboy – A classic SM fantasy immortalized in the drawings of John Willie and used in the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Ann Rice. Typical pony garb includes a horsehair tail attached to a buttplug, a bit gag and/or bridle headharness, and reins. Often very high heels, a corset, and feather plumes in the hair are added. The arms are typically bound behind the back. Pony activities range from being displayed and directed by rein to being ridden or pulling a cart.

Pony training – The fanciful transformation of a girl (or boy) into ‘pony’ to be ridden, to pull a carriage, or to perform as a well-trained horse in obedience and deportment.

Position training – The training of a submissive to assume a given position upon command or under certain circumstances.

Post-scene plunge – Feelings of let-down, depression, fear, disgust. remorse, etc. after participating in SM play. Can be experienced by either dominant or submissive. Jay Wiseman author of SM101, uses the term -Top Drop to describe these feelings on the part of the dominant.

Power exchange – The empowerment of the dominant by the submissive’s surrender to his/her control. Power exchange is consensual and should be well negotiated. The depth of the power yielded by the submissive is equal to level of responsibility assumed by the dominant.

Power exchange levels – A system for linking emotional involvement and depth of feeling with degree of power exchange. The Five Levels are: one – Conditional compliance, two – Restricted ongoing acquiescence, three – Provisional submission, four – the Covenant of dominance and submission, and five – Absolute ownership. The first four levels are based in reality. –

Provisional submission – An ongoing relationship negotiated between a Dom and a sub characterized by power exchange and emotional involvement, but lacking serious commitment. [see Power exchange levels]

Psychosexual – Emotionality, attitudes, orientations. or mind sets associated with erotic behavior or sexual fantasy life.

Punitive pain – Pain that by intention is designed to hurt for nonerotic purposes, usually for punishment. This is abusive and often motivated by a misunderstanding of appropriate control mechanisms.

Pushing limits – 1) A careful process of gradual expansion of limits. 2) Intense play that comes close to the unbearable. [see Edge play]

PVC – poly-vinyl-chloride – 1) A type of plastic used for fetish clothing. 2) The PVC pipes made for plumbing that can be constructed into bondage devices.

Quirt – A corporal toy that looks something like a crop with a flexible, whip-like cracker at the end. [Hurts like hell.]

Restricted Ongoing Acquiescence – An agreement, negotiated by a Dom and sub, to play casually for an extended period of time without serious emotional involvement. [see Power exchange levels]

Rimming – Common term for anilingus (anal-oral sex).

Roisay – An imaginary place from The Story of 0, by Pauline Reage. where young women were brought to be trained as slaves. Also used as a code word for SM.

Role play – 1) Elaboration of one’s sexual inclinations by creating a fantasy framework for them. 2) People with compatible sexual fantasies taking on complimentary persona to interact with each other.

Rope dress – [see Oriental bondage, rope dress]

Rubber – [see Latex]

SAM – (see Smart Ass Masochist]

Sadism, Sadist – Deriving sexual pleasure from the giving of pain, humiliation, and/or domination. The honorable sadist only gives pain or humiliation to those desiring it, respects limits, is caring and careful.

Sadomasochism, SM – Advanced sexual practices incorporating the consensual use of pain, humiliation, and power exchange for erotic enjoyment. SM includes dominance and submission, bondage and discipline, love bondage, and erotic spanking. The term is frequently misused to indicate heavier or more extreme practices.

Sadomasomythology -the misconceptions of society in regard to what sadomasochism actually entails. Also, an ill-informed idea about a particular practice within SM.

Safe, sane, and consensual – Characterizes the acceptable play within the SM community; players adhere to safety precautions within their activities. do not participate in practices that will injure their partners (mentally or physically), and obtain consent by negotiating scenes and scene related activities before carrying them out.

Safe sex, Safer sex – Practicing sex wherein no body fluids are exchanged: includes the use of condoms on insertion toys as well as penises, dental dams, or plastic wrap for cunnilingus, cleanliness with regard to corporal toys, abstention from penetration, etc.

Safe word, Safe signal – A word, a phrase, or an action (like dropping a ball by a gagged submissive) used by the submissive as a signal to stop the scene or reduce the intensity.

St. Andrew’s cross – An upright cross in the shape of the letter ‘X’ to which people are bound for flogging or torture.

Scat – Feces, also, play with feces.

Scene – 1) The SM or fetish community: or things associated with it. 2) An occurrence or Session of SM play.

Scene friendly – Familiarity with, and acceptance of the SM scene and SM players, usually refers to a professional’s attitude (-therapist, -lawyer. etc.)

Scene gear – The SM (and often vanilla) toys we play with. [see Gear]

Sensory deprivation – Restricting or diluting a submissive’s ability to use one or more of his/her senses of touch, hearing, sight, taste, or smell as a part of an SM scene.

Sensory relocation – Transferring the feeling of a stimuli to a different body location than it is received. Sensual play – SM play that focuses on stimulating the senses without the use of pain.

Service – Acts, chores, or labor. sexual or otherwise, performed by a sub for the benefit of a dom.

Session – A scene. [see Scene]

Serpent’s Tongue – A type of slapper made of a thick strap of leather, two or three inches wide, with a deep “V’ cut into most of the length of the piece. Commonly, the handle win have a double thickness with a ring stitched at the end. This is a very nasty toy.

Sexual Imprinting, reimprinting – There is a school of thought stating that sexual responses result from imprinting based on past associations, experiences, background, and environment, often dating back to early childhood. Altering sexual behavior by changing responses and creating new associations is a technique called reimprinting.

Sexual magic, sensual magic – Positive descriptive terms for sadomasochism.

Sexual magick – Neo-pagan practices and rites related to the writings of Aleister Crowley involving sexuality in altering states of consciousness.

Silent alarm – A safety precaution used by players who are new to one another. For example; a submissive, playing with a dominant for the first time, might arrange for a friend to be near a telephone at a pre-arranged time. If the submissive does not call at that time, the friend will be alerted that something has gone wrong and will take steps to see that the submissive is safe.

Sissification. feminization – A practice desired by a male sub of ‘forced’ cross-dressing and/or gender reassignment.

Slapper – A flexile semi-rigid strap used like a paddle.

Slave – 1) In the scene community sometimes used loosely as another word for submissive. 2) A submissive involved in a committed relationship incorporating a shared slave/master fantasy.

Slave contract – A written agreement elaborating the terms, goals, and limits of an SM relationship.

Slave training – The processes of instructing a submissive in a dominant’s preferences, and, conditioning the submissive’s behavior.

Sling – A cross between a swing and a hammock in which a bottom may be comfortably suspended.

SM positive – An sympathetic or accepting attitude toward sadomasochism and/or SM play and players. [see Scene friendly]

SM virgin – An person with little or no experience in SM practices.

Smart Ass Masochist, SAM – A bottom, who rather than submitting, challenges or annoys to entice a Dom to punish him/her. [see Brat]

Spandex – A very stretchable synthetic cloth used for fetish clothing and bondage gear.

Spanking – Striking a submissive, usually with an open hand, on his/her fanny. Some use this term to include paddling, as well.

Spanking bench – A piece of stationary equipment with attachment points to designed to secure a submissive in preparation for a spanking. Properly bound or positioned on a spanking bench, the submissive’s ass is in an accessible, convenient angle for a spanking or whipping.

Spanking skirt – A skirt or dress with cut-outs over each fanny cheek, designed to allow bare-skinned spanking. The spanking skirt is a classic piece of scene-wear that enhances humiliation/exhibitionism aside from its practical application.

Spreader bar – A strong bar, usually wooden, bamboo, or metal, with rings or holes on each end, used as a bondage tool to keep a submissive’s arms or legs apart.

Sting – A sharp biting feel to the surface of the skin.

Stocks – A device (usually wooden) with holes designed to imprison a submissive’s wrists and head, or wrists and ankles. [see Pillory]

Stoplight safe words – A commonly used system of safe words wherein red means stop the scene immediately and release the sub, yellow warns the dominant that the current practice is pushing the submissive’s endurance, and green lets the dominant know that what is happening Is awfully nice and should be continued. (add to this beige for “I’m bored”.)

Straight – 1) Code word for heterosexual. 2) Adjective for someone or something that is not SM oriented. In this sense, a synonym for vanilla.

Strap – 1) As a noun, this is either a bondage restraint (usually leather with a buckle) or an instrument of corporal punishment (also, usually leather sans the buckle). 2) As a verb, it is the act of binding or beating a submissive with a strap.

Submissive, Sub – One who surrenders control of his/her body and behavior (within pre-defined limitations) to another for erotic play.

Sub-space – [see: Bottom-space]

Submissive uniform – A common mode of dress worn by female submissives emphasizing their sexuality. usually very short shirts, revealing tops, high heels, and stockings supported by a garter belt or bustier. (Can also be used with crossdressing males.)

Suspension – A bondage technique wherein the submissive’s weight, totally or partially, is borne by the restraints used in the bondage. Great care must be exercised In this practice; usually. bondage harnesses and suspension cuffs are used in suspension.

Suspension cuffs – Wrist and/or ankle restraints designed specifically for safe suspension. [see Cuff, Cuffing: Suspension)

Switch – 1) A person who enjoys taking either side in SM role or physical play: i.e. top or bottom, Dom or sub. 2) A slender flexible branch from a tree or bush used for corporal punishment.

Tampon training – Rectal insertion of tampons by male submissives to empathize with the female menstrual cycle.

Tantric Yoga, Vajrayana Buddhism – Indian means for achieving a transcendent spiritual state that incorporates sexual and meditative techniques. There are many paths to enlightenment and erotic exploration is one.

Tawes, taws – Thick rigid leather with a lengthwise slit (or silts) in ft used in a paddle-like fashion.

TENS unit – The Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation unit is used by chiropractors to cause involuntary muscle contraction. Sadomasochists use it for fun rather than therapy.

Thud – A blow that is felt at a deeper level than sting. Thud is usually easier to tolerate, but may actually be more damaging as it can cause deeper bruising.

Tit torture – Erotic play involving the breasts.

Tolleyboy – A locking chastity belt made in England of rubber-lined stainless steel. A similar device made in Chicago by Bob Jones is often referred to by the same name.

Top – One who takes the active role in physical scene, but not necessarily emotional/mental control.

Top’s disease – A state of self-delusion wherein the top believes his own fantasy of dominant superiority. This dementia is characterized by the fallacy that his feces lacks the usual malodorous quality.

Topping from the bottom – Maintaining the fiction that the top is in charge, where the real control and direction of a scene rests with the bottom. [see also, Bottoming from the top]

Top-space – A state of erotically altered consciousness (EAC) achieved during a scene by the dominant or top. It is characterized by feelings of intense focus, clarity of thought, a sense of extreme power or high energy, and/or exhilaration. Feelings of distance and objectivity, as if one where commanding from a mountain top, may paradoxically accompany feelings of connection to the submissive, as if there were a psychic link. A dispassionate perspective may combine with erotic ardor. Top space may be followed by either a continued sense of well-being or by feelings of fatigue, depression, or lethargy. [see Post-scene plunge]

Torture – Actions that would be painful outside of their erotic context used to enhance sexual pleasure for a bottom.

Total conversion or the “ouchless ouch” – Whips strokes or corporal stimuli delivered during an erotic scene that begins light and rise gradually. The level of sexual arousal is always kept at a high enough level so that the blows are never experienced subjectively as pain.

Toy whore – One who adores collecting SM toys. Toy whores have been known to trade away their own children for a finely made cat o’nine. It has been suggested that a Toy Whores Anonymous support group be established for people who ruin their lives trying to support their toy habit. The idea has been shelved because the toy whores see no problem with this.

Training – Any of many disciplines wherein the Dom and sub act together to modify the sub’s behavior, condition, and/or attitude. Includes, but Is not restricted to; pony training, anal training, position g. voice command response, and so on.

TS or Transexual – A person who is born in a physical gender that does not match his or her personal psychology. These people are commonly going through ‘gender reassignment’ by means of counseling, hormone treatments, and surgery to correct their situation. A TS is called a ‘pre-op’ before surgical modification and a ‘post-op’ afterwards.

TV or Transvestite – A man or woman dressing In the clothing of the opposite gender.

True Master/True submissive – A term of self-description usually used by incompetent newcomers or lost-in-fantasy others to entice a people to play with them. The ‘True Submissive’ (or more typically ‘True slave’) is one who buys into the nonsense that the ‘True Master’ is selling. ‘True sadomasochism’ is also used to allude to a non-existent, ‘genuine’ standard of SM excellence. Fooey. [see CHDW, or Chudwa; Wannabe].

Vampire glove – Vampire gloves are most often thin leather driving gloves that have sharp, metal tines or tacks lining the palms. The tines are typically snap, or rhinestone settings that are poked through the leather from the inside and glued in place, though some very mean gloves utilize thumb or carpet tacks. Fur mitts can be embellished with tines in the same manner, yielding textures from very nice to yowee!

Vanilla – Describes things. activities and people who are not part of the SM scene, for example; ‘We had vanilla sex last night.’ meaning, ‘We had sex without including any SM scene elements.’ The term is no longer derogatory except as used by immature, cliquish. snobby, poopieheads who don’t think the way we do.

Verbal humiliation/abuse – The use of sexual epithets and similar verbalizations to excite or humble one’s partner. Verbal humiliation is good when It Is used to support the value of the submissive. It becomes abuse when it is used to tear down the self-esteem of the sub. The line between the two is not always clear and may vary within one person’s psyche depending upon mood. Use with caution and sensitivity.

Virgin rapture – Period of time (often years long) wherein newcomers are so overwhelmed by SM that they believe the world revolves around it and can never imagine returning to any other form of sexuality. When the infatuation ends feelings of disappointment and loss are common. It may be reassuring to know that this is a normal process as SM is integrated into a person’s sexuality.

Vinyl – A material used for fetish fashions. [see PVC]

Violet wand – A static electricity generator, frequently with multiple glass attachments including: globes, thin tubes, fork-shaped tubes, etc., used to send virtually harmless, violet-colored static ‘lightning’ to a submissive’s skin.

Visualization – The use of storytelling and verbal fantasy sharing to achieve a mood or desired mind set prior to, or during a scene.

Wannabe – A poseur pretending to be a skilled dominant without the requisite knowledge. The wannabe confuses masturbatory fantasy with real life experience, often with injurious results. [see CHDW, or Chudwa]

Wartenburg pinwheel – A neural response tester consisting of a metal handle with a free-spinning, metal pinwheel attached to one end. The ‘pins’ are very sharp. Wartenburg pinwheels are used to test neural responses of spinal chord injury patients and to make submissives jump over the moon.

Water sports – Sexual play involving urine or enemas. [see Golden Showers and Enema]

Weights – Lead fishing weights or other weights hung from clamps that are attached to the body to increase torment. [see Clamps, Clamping]

Whip – A whip is an object used to beat on a submissive. Many people in the scene use the term whip to include canes, crops, paddles, slappers, etc., as well as single- and multiple-lash whips.

Whipping – 1) The act of beating a submissive or bottom. 2) Finishing a rope-end to prevent fraying by wrapping it with thread or string.

White Lightning – A common nickname for a white fiber glass or resin rod often with a leather or rubber handle that is used as a cane. Being much more dense than rattan, it can inflict deeper damage and the feel is described as ‘cutting.” [see Cane]

Worship – 1) To lavish attentions upon a part of the body, usually feet, pussy or cock. 2) A role playing attitude toward a dominant, typically of a male sub toward his goddess/mistress.

Wrapping – Allowing the tips of a whip or cane to strike parts of the body other than the intended target. For example, aiming for the fanny and hitting it, but the tips of the whip wrap around the fanny and strike the hip. Bruising on the hips is often a sign of a careless or incompetent top who is frequently unaware of the damage that is occurring.

Wrist cuffs – Restraints designed to fit the wrists.

X-frame – A stationary bondage frame in the shape of an ‘X, usually mounted in a horizontal position. [see St. Andrew’s cross]

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