Archive for the Bdsm friends Category

What Is A Master And Their Role In The M’s Lifestyle

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Bdsm friends, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Daddy Doms, Dominance, Dominant, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive on April 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have argued this topic with other Dominants for many years , and no matter who you speak with 99 % of the time the answer will be different , we all have our own opinions.

So the question is who is right and who is wrong ? In most cases no one is wrong, in most cases everyone is right , because that is the dynamics of their relationship.

I tried not long ago to explain to an up coming Dominant and Master he does own. I tried to explain if your new and coming into the local community we have steps that have to be taken. We have standards and protocols that have to be followed. Now no matter where you live, what state , city , county , or country , there will a a Dominant who stands out in the community your in, someone who is respected. He is not a leader per say but someone who has a voice , someone who is heard.

We are to quick to judge someone , we are to quick to call someone a fake , because they do not follow your steps or my steps. What we fail to see is how their relationship is working, and even then it is not even any of our Business.

Many years ago I was asked to speak at a local munch, and the topic was Training. While speaking another Master started asking questions about a previous relationship I had been in which was short lived. This was completely off topic , but I listened and once he was finished , I simply told him if he had any questions about someone he should come to the horse and get the answers instead of listening to a Jackass. The debate got pretty heated and soon our voices began to rise , and we left on very bad terms…

Several years go by , Arianna and I are together and I receive am email. Master Vile I would like to invite you to our Munch to speak. What ? Are you kidding me ? This has to be spam , I know it is because this Master would never think of sending me an email.
I am talking to Arianna about it, and I am telling her it is a trap, there is something going on, and he wants to pick up where we left off. So Arianna and I load up and off we go.
Once in and the introductions were done we looked at each other shook hands and on my end , I could still feel a little tension, but as the night went on it did get better. Today we are good friends and he also found out that everything that was said was false. I had nothing to prove , so I had no reason to explain myself , to him or the pope for that matter.

I posted the question on Fetlife. What is the Difference between a Dominant and a Master , or you can through Daddy in the loop as well. Times have change over the past ten years, and I can remember going to my first Munch , and even going back more my first Black Rose meeting . Dominants sat with respect , and honor , they were not as quick to pass judgement on others, and many were willing to step up and help when needed.

Today much of the Munch’s and MAsT consist of the nasty word Drama. As Arianna sit and listen we look at each other and just shake our heads at each other.

Fuck this , fuck that , fuck them , who the hell are they to say that? Who the fuck are they to do that ? It just goes on and on , and I sit there listening in total disbelief that people actually live in the manner they are speaking. Drama is a cancer , and it is never ending.

This past week Arianna’s mother and I had a very in depth discussion and I had to put the breaks on a few things. When I was finished her mother Apologized not only to me but Arianna and that is something she had never done in Arianna’s 38 years. Make no mistake I run my home , I am head cheese, I am head honcho , I am the general and emperor, what I say goes. That being said I protect my home and I do what is needed to keep a positive flow going and eliminate any problems or drama before they come to light.

To this day , listen because this is the truth , Arianna and I have yet to have an argument. We have not even come close to having an argument or a disagreement. Now there have been things we have talked about and I do take Arianna’s advice at times. I talk she listens , she talks and I listen, after something thinking most of the time I go with Arianna’s idea , not all the time but it does happen.

A Master is a leader in the community , he offers help and Assistance when needed , he gives advice to those who are seeking it , and is non judgmental.
Today what many fail to see as far as Dominants go , being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig, once a week gig, or once a month gig. You are 24/7 365. Once both have come to an agreement to enter a relationship, the dominant agrees to take on the responsibility. To my knowledge there is not an on and off switch when it comes to submission.

A Master is a leader in his Local community, he takes part in different functions , helps and takes part in teaching his point of views when it comes to the lifestyle. He shares his Knowledge , shows what makes his relationship work. A Master Is non Judgmental and open minded.

I myself am very open minded when it comes to different aspects of the lifestyle and the way people choose to live I make it a point to learn something new everyday, lifestyle related and non related.

A Master enjoys helping others expecting nothing in return ,A Master is in control , and gives 100% communication.

Here is an answer that was giving When I asked a question on fetlife. What the difference is between a Dominant and a Master.

What sets a Master apart for me, is that a Master is someone who is recognized as such for their contributions to community, for workshops, for volunteering, and participation with others. A Master reveals themselves with a strength of presence and natural gravitation to a leadership role, which they exercise through that recognition. This takes confidence, balanced with humor and humility. A Master has unique characteristics, that cause other Dominants to recognize and respect their wisdom and seek their council.

In my time in the lifestyle I have never heard someone explain a Masters role in this depth……

It is not to say that some Dominants do not step up to the plate or Daddy Doms do not step up to the plate because I have met and know a few.

What I do know is if more leaders do not step up to the plate , the art of our lifestyle will die. BDSM and everything it stands for will become a Myth just like the lost city of Atlantis .

creed

Vile

I Feel Alone

Posted in Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, Bdsm friends, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Being alone, being used, communication, compatibility, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Lies, MAST, Master And Slave, munchs, New age BDSM, Protocols, relationships, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive on March 31, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not speaking about my relationship With Arianna , I am speaking in general. I am obsessed with the TV The Walking Dead , and I wonder at times if something like that could really happen?

What I am getting at , I remember the very first Walking Dead , when the Deputy Rick had been shot and was in a comma. Once he woke up and started looking around he realized there were no people around. He walked outside and there was nothing no other humans.

Now I am not going off the deep end just in case your wondering , I am just sharing my thoughts. This is why many Dominant need that interaction at local munchs and MAsT groups so we can interact with those who have the same interest.

Here lately that has not been so easy. Arianna and I have attended several different functions and I have not clicked with anyone. I am not sure if it is a lack of differences , or a lack of how we view the lifestyle. I do know that over the past several years the lifestyle has moved more towards the kink side of things, than the what I call the standard BDSM flow. Being communication, structure protocol and rules , and then on to ownership.

I do at times find it difficult to trust people, I also find it difficult to sociable , but maybe that is just the lack of things in common. Going to different functions allows me to be me , and in hopes of communicating with others who have the same interest. What I do find is others bringing drama into a public setting and that is what the conversation is centered around….

I am still debating on filing for my own MAsT chapter , as of now I do have the support of another MAsT group and would give a good recommendation. It is just finding the right time. There is so much more I want to do , but with moving and getting set up , my new job and yes I consider being at a job for 8 months still new. It was not suppose to be as stressful as it is , but I do enjoy it.

Arianna pointed out several months ago , that some people find me to be intimidating , and I am not sure why unless it is my lack of joking around. She also brought it up that many think it is my way or no way. While I can see her side of things , that is not the whole truth. It comes down to a couple of things. If you portray yourself to be someone your not , if you lie , or if your bringing your problems or drama someplace that is meant to be educational , or if your abusive that is where I draw the line.

Arianna brought it up that I should try being nicer to people , be more open or receptive, and after giving it some thought for a while , I decided to give it a try.
I invited someone to my home , and even offered to take them out, as it turned out I had to work so Arianna met her and spent a great deal of time with. Now I invited with the intentions of just being friends nothing more. I made no out of the way advancements because Arianna was in the loop the whole time, and once the two started texting , I for the most dropped out of the picture, we still chatted on Facebook but it was just friendly chat.
I am more than positive Arianna was a good host, I am also sure Arianna was polite and friendly. So after going to a theme park , out to eat a couple of times, all communication stopped.
So one or two things happened , either I offended her or Arianna was not a good host and was not friendly , which I doubt was the case, at any rate this is the reason I distant myself from people , this is the same reason I have very few friends. This is why I do not allow myself to get close to anyone , because after it was all said and done , I felt as if I was used, no explanation or anything.

In the end it is all good though , I am in a good place and it is my own little world….

Before you start thinking , this is not a pity party because I do not roll like that, I am just expressing my feelings , on this part of life..

horse

Vile