Archive for the BDSM Relationships Category

My Soul Searching

Posted in Adapt, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, blow job, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants Protocol, feminism, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Safe and Sane, Slave, Slave being used, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Before meeting Arianna I was single for a little over two years , my you it was by choice. I had spent that time in doing some deep soul searching and I needed to find out a few things about myself. One who was I , I mean really I needed to know who I was in terms of the lifestyle. I cant remember back far enough when I had what you would call vanilla friends and my circle of friends in the lifestyle well I could count on one hand. There are reasons I keep my circle so small , one being if my circle is small and I am in contact with someone on a regular basis and I know I can turn to them ,  then I can consider them to be a friend. Even social media like Facebook or Fetlife I am not a friend collector , after all what is the point of having 2000 friends if you are never in contact with them?  Two I needed to find out what my needs were , what type of relationship did I need to have to keep the fire inside going ? Three what type of woman did I need in my life , was it a submissive ? Was it a Slave ? Or the last thing that popped in my head was she to be property ? There are clear differences between the three and each Dom or Master or owner differs as well , after all we are all different.

Knowing those three things before you enter a relationship is very vital when it comes to having any type of successful relationship but more so when it comes to our lifestyle.

Now during the 2,5 years I was single I did date and the dating process was so I could eliminate what I was not looking for and again I wanted a better Idea as to what I truly needed out of a partner…

One date I remember submissive saying I do not swallow , now sex was really down at the bottom of my list but to tell me you are not going to do something is a strike , and another no anal for me I get nothing out of it. It was obvious we had different out looks when it came to a relationship because it was not about her it was about me. I do not like bondage it does nothing for me , another I do not like humiliation it takes me to a bad place , the list went on and on. So at the end of the dates I would pay for the dinner and explain we were way to far apart to be able to come to any type of an agreement when it comes to a relationship. You mean because I do not like anal you do not want a relationship ? You are 100% correct that would be a need for me and while anal is not at the top of my list I may at times go a month or so just ass fucking , but of course then I always want to finish in the mouth. ATM is my favorite word..

Being a Dominant just did not fit me , this is mainly because a submissive has the right to say no. Being a master there are still negotiations which meant something on my check list could be marked off , yes such as no anal , or no sex when I dont feel like it or I am to tired. Tired really ? All you have to do is lay on your back I bust a nut and get up and you can go back to being tired.  I am to tired what the fuck does that mean ?

I wanted the word NO wiped from ones vocabulary , I cant , I wont. I wanted and needed full control over someones life, I would be responsible for taking care of everything , I would meet ones needs but then I expected my needs and wants to be completed again after all it was about me.

First entering the lifestyle the first slave I met was a total Masochist and needed humiliation just to survive , now how awesome was that ? Well one would think they struck gold but in time I found the Humiliation to be difficult because each time I had to out do the last. The pain part I learned where I could hit and where I could no that my friends is very important because you can really fuck someone up and try explaining that to a Judge. Sherrie wanted a relationship but I did not and while we dated for almost seven years I never not one time fucked her , yea that is the truth. Now she did however suck a lot of dick and I mean a lot but I never fucked her. I did fist her pussy and ass she really got off on that. I would stop by her work and insert a coke can and come back several hours later so I could take it out.  Driving down Hwy 95 in Daytona one time we were pulled over , and I am thinking what the fuck. Sherrie was sitting in the passenger seat butt ass naked holding a huge ass dildo. So the cop walks up and looks in the car and I am thinking this is not going to be good. He simply asked if everything was ok and Sherrie said yes. She was giving a ticket because her tag had expired. The cop never said anything about her being naked , I am guessing the size of the dildo did shock him because it took two hands to hold it.

Years and years past since the late 80’s and while I thought all of my relationships were on spot they were not and each one failed because of me. They failed because I was not willing to commit the time needed and it was pretty much one sided , which now it is pretty much one sided but what makes it different now is I give back , on my terms..

Now you are thinking the kind of relationship you want is impossible. You would never find a slave who would just submit to your every need right ? The key word is patience , good things come to those who wait and most of the time just like my now relationship Arianna fell right into my lap out of the sky. Speaking to a Dom one night and him and I are pretty close with our thoughts when it comes to ownership , anyway we were talking after a MAsT meeting one night and he stated I was lucky and just like I thought he said it was like Arianna fell from the sky as a gift.

I have been very blessed over the past 6 years and knowing many more years to come is more of a blessing. I am also blessed to live with not one but two women Arianna my slave and Lynn our submissive. Arianna completed most of Lynns training taking a huge weight off of my shoulders. Our house runs smoothly and without a glitch , both girls get along with each other.  There is zero Drama and zero problems yea sometimes I cannot believe how smoothly things are going.

Negotiating our relationship was really pretty easy it was my way or no way. I was straight forward and to the point. The thing that blew my mind was Arianna said one word, Okay. That threw me off for a few minutes but I did not show it. Arianna then explained her needs , now in order for me to get what I want I knew I had to give back and her one and only request was to be micromanaged. This was a area I had zero experience in , even asking others in the lifestyle I was told it was way to much work let her go..

Remember the slave must adapt to your way of living , your life , your needs and your training.

Training is something I take very serious and I put a lot of thought into it. What worked for the last slave will not work with a new one. The rules are different , their personality is different , their mindset is different and of course needs. If all the needs are met there are no wants.

I asked the question several times are you sure ? Are you sure this is the path you want to take? Each time the answer was yes and so our journey began.

I am more of a Mental Owner , in order to control someone you need to be in their head , you need to know what makes them think the way they do , their habits , why they have those habits. You have to know their reasoning , now that part is deep. You have to know what makes them think the way they do. Once you are inside as confusing as it may be you are now in full control. The hard part is knowing what to do , when and why. If you fuck something up you gotta fix it so be careful.

What I do in a sense is strip one of ones dignity , I take everything away that was a need and turn them into privileges. I took all clothes away including when company came over , again depending who it was. I took all furniture away including being able to sit at the dinner table. I controlled shower time , bed time , food that was prepared. I controlled hair color , nail polish and I controlled what clothes would be worn outside when we did go out.  I controlled the way she sat , how she spoke and who she spoke to. I used her and used often. I used without a word , I used every hole , I let her know I was taking what was mine.  The slave is yours , your property , you own after all they gave you that right. Use and use how you want and when you want. While I am not a huge fan of Humiliation I do use some form during my training , again this is to reinforce our positions within the home.

Breaking a rule must be a serious offense , the slave forgot to text this is part of training. There is no reason to go off the handle. Training is about changing habits and depending on who you are working with you are looking at 90 days or more before most things catch on. We as owners must show patience.

Keeping that mindset , putting protocols in place and staying on top of the protocols , ownership is not a 9 to 5 job. As Dominants , Masters and Owners we must be available to our partners 24/7 no questions asked.

The one weakness that can kill a M’s relationship is when the Master feels guilty about punishing , or slips and does not stay on top of things , begins to let rules go without consequences. Once you change and your property has seen the difference it is impossible to turn back the pages.

The words I wish I was a better Dom or a better Master , I am sorry I am a failure. Think about those words yea pretty pathetic and your property may not say anything but the same thoughts are there. There are thoughts you keep to yourself , it is actions and words you share. The property looks up to us , not only for a relationship but guidance , direction and depends on us to keeps the rules we have put in placed enforced..

I had thought about Blogging about feminism but as stated above I will leave that as a thought..

Vile

Communication

I Am A Dominant Call Me Sir

Posted in A slaves passwords, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

You are new to the lifestyle and very excited to learn everything you can but most of all finding the One. I hope that you would talk to many but chances are you will end up speaking with only 2 or 3 before taking that leap.. After only chatting for a short time you are giving a direction to call the one you met Sir.

I firmly believe in the lifestyle we need titles , we need titles to identify ourselves when it comes to meeting others. It explains our position in the lifestyle , maybe a Daddy , a Dominant a Master and so on. In the end it is our property who addresses our identity.

Speaking with someone a couple of months ago who is somewhat new to the lifestyle , he had asked me if I could introduce him to a submissive. Being new Dominant in our community can be somewhat tough because there is a vetting process we all go through. I was told by this new Dominant that he was displeased with the vetting process and thought it was not fair. I sent information one being bestslavetraining.com a huge source of information and the other of course my blog here although most is just my opinion but my opinion is based on more than 20 years experience. You do not have to agree with everything but I am sure there are parts you can take and put to use.

So I introduce the Dom to a submissive a very good friend and at first everything seemed to be going well but it soon fell apart. One was the work schedules but my thoughts are if you want something to work it can work if you are willing to make the effort. Once the frenzy fizzled out he lost interest. I asked if he had read the material and he stated he looked over it but was more worried about his own well being , so in short no he did not. I sent it again and received the same answer so I see this as not wanting to put any effort into learning. I also made the point that it was very important to get out in the local community , you cannot just sit at home and hope someone will just walk up to your front door and drop to their knees.

The truth is you are in full control for the most until you decide to submit. The Dominant may make request but it is you who has the final say. You have the right to question , you have the right to avoid any situation that may make you feel uncomfortable.

What do you want me to call you ? You will address me as Sir! By now you may have formed some type of rapport but not near enough for you to have gained enough respect to call someone Sir , unless you were brought up in such a way and just being polite. One who makes such demands again have severe ego and security issues.

Here is the problem , most not all who are new to the lifestyle want to learn but they want to learn on their terms. When a relationship fails the blame goes to the submissive and not the one who is truly at fault.

Things have changes , people have changed but most of all the lifestyle has changed. The new Dominants entering the lifestyle wants the cake and ice cream but do not want to put in the effort.

Recently mentoring someone for a very short time , I found this to be true. What I found disturbing is wanting me to introduce him to someone.  Introducing a Dominant with no experience , nor the wish or need to learn placed me in a very bad place. So I decided to give it a try and I knew someone who I thought might have some compatibility , this ended to be a huge mistake.

You cannot start off on the right foot when one starts off making demands. You cannot start a relationship when a 100 rules stuffed down your throat.  One may be able to start off with a few small rules such as bed time or texting ,  but to hand you a book of rules without even knowing you is insane.

Remember rules are strictly for the betterment of the slave. If it starts out with you having to send naked pics or videos then you should just move the fuck on..

Stay calm and think logical and your way of life will come..

Much Love

Vile

 

The Stepford Wives / BDSM

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, The Stepford Wives with tags , , , on May 6, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

In the beginning I thought I knew what I wanted or so I thought , I was submission but was not sure how to obtain without giving orders and making demands , I wanted kinky sex but was unsure what it would take to make me happy. It seemed with each relationship I was lacking something but I could not put my finger on it. I was jumping from one relationship to another not finding that happy medium.

Imagine having the perfect mate , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , sounds really far fetched doesn’t it ? The truth there is such a thing and you can change someones way of thinking , you can change habits. You can change the way someone walks, talks and sits even how and what they eat , how they speak to someone in public or not speak. Now the downside to all of what I have mentioned it take work from the Dominant , it takes effort but most of all it takes the need not a want but a need.

There are Dominants who want none of the above , they are the do it now Dom’s. Do as I say not as I do here is a task do it , no rules , no structure or protocols just do it and many who are submissive are happy with this kind of relationship and if it works for you have at it.

Then we move to the Fifty Shades of Grey frenzy which has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. The movies are based on kinky sex by a man who suffers from depression who happens to be a billionaire but if the guy worked at McDonald’s and lived in a trailer he would be a creep.  We all love kinky sex and those who do not think about it which is really cool because it will always be a thought in the back of their mind , but fifty shades has nothing to do with the lifestyle although the dungeon was really nice..

In 1975 I saw the movie The Stepford Wives which came out in 1972 I believe , I was at the young age of 14 and already had kinky stuff going on in my mind and just a year before had tied up my first girl to two trees in the woods. Watching the movie I thought why cant my home be like this thinking of my parents who always seemed to be fighting. I thought what a perfect fucking world if every woman acted the same way as they did in the movie. Now today it is far fetched because what they were creating was fake but in real life without creating some kind of robot it is possible.

I have talked about Behavior Modification before , that has been a interest for some years but it does take some time to perfect.  The other side of the coin you will need a submissive who is willing to turn over that much control. Consensual enslavement everything must be consensual or you have the stepford wives all fake with no emotions or cares just going through the motions. That is not true submission and you control absolutely nothing. If fake is okay with you then have at it but when you have someone who is willing to give and serve the rewards are far greater.

Know what you want and why you want it , this is very important. Have a plan in place but most of all you need to know the submissive inside and out. Her likes and dislikes , food , music , movies , hobbies , and yes even her favorite color. Getting into her mind knowing why she thinks the way she does , why she makes the decisions she does. Getting to know her so well you almost know what she is going to say before she speaks.  Yeah it sounds like a lot and it is a lot of work but the rewards will be far greater. Making her your number one priority and she has to know this. She must have access to you 24.7 of course this is before you move in together should this be your goal. If you cannot reach out and touch her it is nearly impossible to control her actions or her thoughts.

Lets take sex out for now , although sex does play a role in the relationship this should not be your main goal again it is the rewards you are looking for.

Then the interview forget about limits because down the road the limit she has will no longer be limits. Why is she a submissive or slave ? What gives her these feelings ? Why does she need a dominant in her life? What kind of problems does she have even financial ? Are there any medical problems , medications you should be worried about.

You do not want to be the white knight to the rescue , you do not want to fix anything , if you do once everything is fixed you will get dumped. You can give advice and if she follows through and takes care of things then you can think about moving forward with the relationship.

Is she willing to adapt , adapt is a huge word , is she willing to adapt to your way of life ? Is the slave or submissive willing to give up complete control of their life ? To follow , learn and Obey ?

I put sex on the back burner because you cannot make sex a priority in your M’s relationship , there are many more goals that must be achieved before hand. Getting caught up in sex can throw a wrench in the gears because you can let your emotions get in the way of your training. This is of course after the two of you have worked out all of the details when it comes to limits.

Yea this seems way out there but it is the truth you can have everything and then some but it does take some effort on your part.

Now to the sex , the nitty gritty , with a name like the kinky world you would think I would be talking about fucking and sucking all the time, yea I agree but I have calmed down a little in my later years , not the way I think because I have grown more kinky in my mind , darker thoughts , more creative but sometimes thoughts are better left as thoughts. As the trust and connection grows limits will slowly slip away , that is within reason. I mean think about it , you can teach someone to suck your dick the way you like or how to fuck , how to lay , what to say while fucking her , the training on that end is endless.

Get in the mind and you own the body , and with the body comes anything you want short of seriously hurting someone. You own the mind you can get anything you want , when you want it and how you want it , but as with anything nothing is free. Many hours of training and the training never ends it continues on a daily basis and at times you have to change things up.

Have a vision and create it

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

She Is Your Bitch Run Your House

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consistency, Master And Slave, Punishment, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , on March 26, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have had a few Dominants approach me , telling me that they let their feelings get in the way. When it comes to control , punishing or even giving out task , the biggest is when it comes to enforcing rules. The feeling of guilt like you are abusing someone , mistreating , being unfair , being to strict. Well! You did not have these feelings before you entered the relationship ,or when you both agreed to enter the relationship , you had everything planned out right ? You told the Submissive you were a dominant , you told her you wanted to take control , you gave out rules right?

Many over time begin to get this deep sense of guilt , like everything is abuse , maybe mistreating their partner but remember these are thing that were agreed on before you entered the relationship , so was it just Dom frenzy or maybe just a deep fantasy and instead.

When you both sit down and start talking about each others needs and most important what they Dominant lays out about how he envisions how the house will be ran. It is okay as a slave or submissive to express your feelings but to be outright argumentative is nothing more than disrespect and should not be tolerated. When should you question your Master ? When you see a bad decision  is going to affect you and your house , put you in danger or possibly homeless. This should include while out in public , if you have something to say it should be in private , calling your Master out in public is nothing more than being disrespectful. If there are no consequences to ones actions then the Master is no longer in control.

Neither Master or slave should be afraid to speak up , if you do not communicate the slave in a respectful manner the Master has no way of knowing what you are thinking or what problems you may have until you the slave blows up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Keeping that head space , one the collar if you the slave should ever have a doubt about your position in the home then reach up and grab your collar , if your Master requires you to wear one. It seems today very few Master require a collar for what ever reason , maybe he does not want to spend the money on one or he simply does not care. Putting rituals and protocols in place. Putting things in place even slave positions keeps the head space and is a reminder. Everything put in place has to be consistent or they will not work.

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Protocol

A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants.

Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.

Why would a Master argue with a slave ? What sense does it make for either to even argue with each other? If a Master will argue with his slave then he becomes the bitch.

The Master

http://bdsmwiki.info/Master

Values , and this is interesting….

Some commonly emphasized values consistent with best practices concerning a Master may include but are not limited to: (in no particular order)

  • Honorable behavior in word and deed.
  • Is in touch with their wants and needs; gives clearly stated expectations, orders and instructions.
  • A clear understanding of their own personal limitations and failings while consistently seeking to learn more and better themselves.
  • The ability to respect and forgive the personal limitations and failings of those that serve them while still helping them push towards and achieve self betterment.
  • Possession of sound judgement, logic, reliability and the ability to keep their personal affairs in reasonable order.
  • An amazing degree of control of temper and impulse.
  • Recognizes both service and Mastery as callings worthy of respect.

You set the rules , you sit the rules and protocols and you enforce consistently ,  Your house you the Master sets up how things will be ran. Many at sometime will begin to feel guilty about enforcing rules or afraid of rejection , or maybe even your slave will leave you. It is the slave who has to adapt to your way of living.

You cannot change up the rules after you have put them in place , rules can be amended but there are some who will change just so they can punish.

Keeping that head space , protocols and rituals along with a few slave positions , all of these not only induce good behavior but they are a training tool. Having to ask permission to do anything and everything even when it comes to scheduling a free day with family or friends.

Use your property and use on a regular basis , the slave is there for your use , your enjoyment and it is up to you if you let your slave get off. Play and do not share what you plan on doing but it is good to give warnings throughout the week. Take what you want when you want and how you want , this will also keep your slave in that head space.

A good Master shows control , not only at home but while out it is the Master who sets the example. The way your slave acts in public is a direct reflection of your training.

Do not make demands that are not reasonable , do not make demands that will set the slave up for failure. Do not make demands that would cause the slave harm or get into trouble.

Positive reinforcement goes along way , several times a week I tell my girls how much I appreciate them and the things they do. Reward when the slave does something good. The system put in place should be everything is earned nothing is giving. All of the privileges are just that privileges and anything can be taken back.

Restrict the space with in the home the slave is allowed to sit and the way the slave sits. While out my girls sit with hands in lap and are prohibited from crossing their legs. While standing the hands are clasped in front. All of these are reminders of the slaves position within the home.

The Master needs down time a time to relax clear your head , time alone , this is just as important as the slave having down time..

You can change plans when they are not working but never change goals.

 

Why I Love Micromanagement

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Dominant, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Micromanagement, Punishment, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , on March 21, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first experience with micromanagement was when I first met Arianna , this was the first time that subject had ever been brought up , well I had been around other Doms who brought it up but I never gave it much thought…

There are two different types of people who use Micromanagement , those who are total fuck heads at work and need that control to make it through the day , and those who need that control in their home and environment if that makes sense.

Micromanaging someone does not mean they are weak , it does not mean they do not have a brain , it does not mean they cannot function , it means the slave wants to give up total control and say. Some find peace within giving up total control in the right hands. Some are able to be who and what they are giving up total control , notice I said some.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.

If we are single not that I like titles or I need one but being single we take on that Dominant role. We are in search or a slave not a submissive , I myself would not and I refused to settle for less. Many times it is our human nature to settle for less just for that security , the security of being but not getting our needs met and it is short lived very short lived. Many times we enter a relationship under false hopes words that were spoken but not followed through with.

Many not all but many will become needy many will become codependent and there is nothing wrong with either it just adds more responsibility . To some it may seem like a dreadful task but if you truly care it will go unnoticed.

If you are going to be a Master you cannot pick and choose what part of the relationship you want. You want the slave to give 100% and in return you must give 150% that just kinda evens things out on a level playing field.

You the Master hast o be willing to take the good with the bad , in the right frame of mind and again if you care enough there is no bad , there are just areas that needs a little improvement.

Before entering the relationship the slave has to be in the right frame of mind. The slave has to know what they need in a relationship. The slave must be willing to give up total control. The slave must be willing to follow and never question. There is a exception to that rule, if a Master is about to do something that is not in the best interest of the home then the slave should be allowed to speak up…

Something you hear of often is when a slave has a question or has the need to voice their opinion the Master shows anger or begins to yell , thus causing the slave to go silent. Anger is not a good trait , not being able to control anger is not a good trait, not allowing communication is not a good trait.

I am in full control of not only my life but my surroundings , I am the one who has to answer to any mistakes that are made. I make decisions for 3 now so anything I do affects all.

I still allow freedom , time off , time off to relax , clear the mind , go out with friends and family , those two are most important. Allowing your slave to relax , go out with friends and family , have fun being able to let their guard down. A Slave needs down time, time to relax , time to unwind , time to clear their head.

In the beginning it is very important to explain everything in great detail , what is expected and what will not be tolerated , but most important there are consequences to their choices.

Plan everything is pre-planned , both girls have a calendar and the entire month is planned with my approval and only I can approve any changes. The only way any changes can occur is if I decide I want to do something.

I myself am held accountable for my actions and decisions , if something goes wrong I have to explain why I made such a bad decision.

Before meeting Arianna , I had never even thought of micromanagement , at that time it did seem like way to much work , but I have come to realize it does make life run so much smoother.

Nudity , I am a firm believer in keeping my property nude while at home , this is a tool I use as a reminder , while I myself stay dressed. Nudity is a reminder of who they are and what their status is within the home.  There are at times with a request I may allow a shirt and panties , sometimes I may feel it is a bit chilly and I will give clothing as a option.

While I do make all decisions I do not have to explain why I made certain decisions although there are times I may elaborate if I feel something is not understood.

I hate repeating myself , I feel I am talking to adults and once I have explained everything and I ask if it is understood , then the conversation is over.

Punishment , I am against corporal punishment although it is not out of the question , it really depends on what the severity of what happened or what rule was broken. I feel sitting a adult down and speaking to them as if they were a child is way more effective. Another reason I do not like leaving marks on my property. I am proud of what I own and enjoy showing off to much.

Dressing ,  before going out I am presented with outfits and I pick what I feel will be appropriate. If we go out the girls look like a million dollars , they are a direct reflection of who I am and my training.

I have some 600 drafts I am working on..

Much Love

Vile

 

 

 

Meeting A Dominant For The First Time

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Daddy Doms, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock on January 22, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know I have covered this topic before but here we go again.

 

What a fucking rush , meeting a new Dominant and your head is spinning a hundred miles an hour.

I want you to meet me at Denny’s wearing the shortest skirt you own and no panties. The answer you should give is I will wear something that is comfortable. The one thing you want to do is dress for success , you want to dress so when you have the first eye contact the Dom’s jaw drops open. The last thing I want to see is someone show up in a Tee , baggy jean and flip flops. You do not meet any demands until you and the Dom agree to some type of relationship. He should not try to impose any rules on you because he does not know you. He should not offer a collar because you have not earned it. Being offered a collar on the first meet is meant to be a head rush , it is meant to make you feel special and needy.

Call me Sir or call me Daddy , Master. Now why would I do such a thing? One making demands in such a short period is living off of a fed ego and nothing more and if you comply it will only feed him more.

Keep your meeting simple , meaning do not share any personal information including your address , until you have his address. If he is not willing to invite you to his home ask for a reason.

knowing who and what you are , just because you meet a Dom does not mean he is the Dominant for you. You have to have things in common besides BDSM. Even though you may live a 24/7 you still have to have a vanilla side at some point and time..

When you look at the BDSM side you still have to have things in common. One of the first questions you will get is are you Bi?  I am not sure why most require such a thing but that seems to be a trend and more so with new Doms. Are you poly? This is also a common questions because the Dom wants 2 maybe 3 or 4 more just like you. Are you into pain? Do you like anal sex? Are you into humiliation that is another popular question?

You have to know when to say NO , you are being interviewed but you have to interview as well. The Dom may say no eye contact when we meet and you would say I am not comfortable with that right now. The no eye contact is just a ego filler , makes his head swell and his chest stuck out like king kong. Most will require you to wear a skirt with no panties and again this is where you say NO. You do not submit to anything until you have agreed to enter a relationship.

You cannot begin training the first hour of meeting a new Dominant it does not work that way. The Dom has to know you , I mean really know you and know you better than you know yourself.  What worked with the Doms last relationship will not work with you , we are all different , personalities , habits and needs. What does the Dominant want to accomplish out of your training? What are the Dominants goals in the relationship? What do you want to accomplish ? What are your goals ? All of this takes a great deal of thought and its not going to happen over night.

Do not give passwords to your accounts , do not give banking information to someone you hardly know. There are two types of Dominants who will demand these, the ones who are insecure and the ones who have a ego problem. Trust also comes into play but this falls under being insecure. You could wake up the next morning and find your bank is empty , this has happened and it could happen to you.

The first thing a new Dominant will tell you is he will be there for you , he wants you to trust him. He will be your shoulder to cry on you can depend on him for anything.  Then you text him and a hour goes by then 8 hours a day maybe two and not a word and you sit there holding your cell phone and every time you hear that text sound you jump only to find its someone else. You then call and the first ring it goes to voice mail , hmmm interesting , but you toss it up to him being busy after all he has a career.

So remember the demands part ? Good because you have the right to make demands you did this the first time you met right? Nah you were to scared to , you thought if you said anything he would leave and never contact you again , after all he is the one and the only one right? Nah he is one of thousands who would jump at the chance to bang you , one of the thousands to fill you with the same crap.

You have the right to have 24/7 access to your new found Dominant anything less is just stupid. How long does it take to reply to a text or email? How long does it take to answer the phone and say hey I will call in a few?

Keep your legs and mouth closed for at least 60 days , this will tell you if the Dom is serious or not . If he demands you start your training by sucking his dick on the first meeting then just politely decline and leave , I can assure you sucking cock has nothing to do with training. Maybe at some point and time you may be instructed to do something different but sucking cock in a Denny’s parking lot is not training.

You must know where he lives and you must be able to come over when you want. You must want him to introduce you to his friends after all you are going to be a part of his life.

Family and friends are important even today I give the girls time off for both. Everything is planned a month in advance I know everything and I seldom allow any changes once its in black and white. Allowing down time is very important , clearing your mind like a one day mini vacation. You should be allowed to visit family and friends , this is what makes you complete. Again if the Dominant wants to keep you from family and friends the two things hes insecure or the ego thing , there could be nothing else. Oh he might say it will interfere with your training or you don’t need anyone but him. This is not true , you as a sub or slave needs some kind of down time, you need to take a breather , let your mind clear , relax , get your head together.

Many Dominants who are new are very insecure , these are the ones who keep you from family and friends , or it can be someone who just uses the word Dominant as a way to lure you in , these are the ones who you only hear from maybe once a week , once a month and just drop in bust a nut and gone again.

some of you may be ok with just being used as a piece of ass , and if that is your thing then go with the flow , be yourself , be happy but there are those who truly need someone in their life. There are those who crave submission on a full time basis. There are those who crave the structure , being with someone and just to find out your being used by someone who could careless about your feelings.

Questions to ask a New Dominant you are meeting? How long have you been in the lifestyle? What is I am not Bi? I say this because he will ask you if you are. What is I am not poly nor do I wish to be? Are you active in the community ? To me this is huge this shows he is serious about the lifestyle. He may say no I have to watch my career , but the fact is there are doctors , lawyers and bankers who attend functions. If he does not you then ask I want to be active in the community would you object? Why would he we all crave to be around those who have the same interest and the opportunity to learn from others ? What happened to your past relationships and do you care if I contact them? Do you know other Doms if so may I contact them? Why would he object to either question unless there is something to hide? What are some of your protocols both public and private? How long is the initial training and what do you expect to get out of it , meaning what are your goals? I did not bring up rules mainly because when you first meet a new Dom he does not know you well enough to give out any rules , with the exception of maybe like a bed time or a time to call or text. This is another if I text you I expect a answer are you going to stay in contact with me? The I am at work or I was to busy that answer in today’s times is just plain bullshit , it takes maybe 30 seconds to answer a text or a couple of minutes to shoot someone a email.

Just because you meet someone does not mean you submit , Just because you meet someone does not mean you should give in to their intimidation tactics. Never give your passwords or banking information , someone asking for passwords to your social  media sites has a huge problem with not only trust but insecurity. You do not want to wake up one morning and find you have a zero balance in you account. No matter who you are you need some privacy. You need family and you need your friends. Do not give in.

Vile

 

 

Eye Restrictions And Why I have Changed My Mind

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, Dominants, Eye Restrictions, Rules, Slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on January 7, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have a disagreement about eye restrictions when a Dom first meets a submissive , I myself believe eye contact means everything when getting to know each other because the eyes tell everything.

Control the mind and you control everything else , being able to get in someones head and fully understanding what makes someone think the way they do, why they do the things they do , you are able to understand their habits and change habits.

After training , the initial part of training because training is on going it never stops. Throughout the relationship the Dominant must make changes , maybe small changes or maybe drastic. Many times I make changes and neither Arianna or Lynn are even aware I have made changes. It is to easy to get into a routine and the relationship becomes stagnate its going nowhere.

Sub-space many think sub-space happens only during play but in fact sub-space happens on a daily basis , minute by minute and hour by hour. This happens with rules and protocols. Having enough protocols through out the day , changing habits , the way one thinks all keep the submissive in some sort of sub-space. Rules are put in place to make improvements of ones life. A new protocol I have put in place is before Arianna sits she stands at parade rest and she makes the request to sit , this is not a rule it is a protocol , public or private. I am keeping that level of sub-space.

http://kinkipedia.wikidot.com/wiki:eye-contact-restriction

Eye contact restrictions refer to a popular protocol within BDSM play whereby the submissive is not permitted to look at a dominant directly in the eye.

This is done as a general may of emphasizing hierarchy in the relationship but is also used as a tool for humiliation, with the idea being that the submissive is not worthy of looking in the eye of the superior dominant.

This practice is a mainly psychological activity.

Eye contact restriction is commonly maintained through the submissive having to look at the floor, with transgressions normally punished through punishments such as face slapping. In other cases eye contact restriction can actually be enforced through the use of blindfolds.

Most of the above I disagree with , it has nothing to do with Humiliation unless the submissive sees it that way. A Hierarchy yes in any D’s or M’s relationship there has to be a Hierarchy. The practice is psychological it is maintaining that sub-space because every time one speaks they are reminded of who they are and what their position is in the relationship.

Not being worthy I disagree with that statement as well , the submissive or slave is more than worthy after all they are the ones who keeps the house together. They are the ones who makes sure everything runs smoothly. They are the ones who do most of the planning. In my case Arianna does all of the above including taking care of the funds of the house keeping everything balanced , insuring everything is paid and some goes into savings. Arianna and Lynn both plan meals , clean and do chores that were assigned to them so the word worthy needs to be scratched off.

Keeping that level of sub-space , keeping one in that frame of mind and keeping one thinking.  At times I will add different protocols , one I have recently added is when we are out the girls will stand with their arms down in front with hands clasped. When my girls are out they both look like a million dollars , why? One because I care and two they both represent me. How they dress , how they talk , how they sit is all a representation of me. How they both act shows the amount of training I have provided and it shows their loyalty.

Humiliation there are at times I will use some form of humiliation nothing to extreme , but it is to remind them of who they are and what their place is within the home. Remember you can get into that routine rut and again you the Dominant needs to change things up.

So my thoughts on eye restriction , keeping one humble , a simple reminder of ones place.

My way of thinking is if you implement eye restrictions , there has to be a time when your property is allowed to look at you eye to eye. At dinner for instance this is what is called free time to speak. There are no cell phones and most of the time the TV is turned down but from this moment forward the TV will be off. At dinner I address each asking if anything is on their mind? This is total free time to be able to address anything be it good or bad. This is the time to clear the chest , clear thoughts or concerns. At the end of the day I can only make a informed decision based on the information provided. If you did not provide the information or enough or even correct information and I make a bad decision it then falls on my girls not I.

Eye restrictions is something I am still up in the air on , I am giving it a great deal of thought. Once I implement something I seldom change it..

 

Vile