Archive for the BDSM Relationships Category

Meeting A Dominant For The First Time

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Daddy Doms, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock on January 22, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know I have covered this topic before but here we go again.

 

What a fucking rush , meeting a new Dominant and your head is spinning a hundred miles an hour.

I want you to meet me at Denny’s wearing the shortest skirt you own and no panties. The answer you should give is I will wear something that is comfortable. The one thing you want to do is dress for success , you want to dress so when you have the first eye contact the Dom’s jaw drops open. The last thing I want to see is someone show up in a Tee , baggy jean and flip flops. You do not meet any demands until you and the Dom agree to some type of relationship. He should not try to impose any rules on you because he does not know you. He should not offer a collar because you have not earned it. Being offered a collar on the first meet is meant to be a head rush , it is meant to make you feel special and needy.

Call me Sir or call me Daddy , Master. Now why would I do such a thing? One making demands in such a short period is living off of a fed ego and nothing more and if you comply it will only feed him more.

Keep your meeting simple , meaning do not share any personal information including your address , until you have his address. If he is not willing to invite you to his home ask for a reason.

knowing who and what you are , just because you meet a Dom does not mean he is the Dominant for you. You have to have things in common besides BDSM. Even though you may live a 24/7 you still have to have a vanilla side at some point and time..

When you look at the BDSM side you still have to have things in common. One of the first questions you will get is are you Bi?  I am not sure why most require such a thing but that seems to be a trend and more so with new Doms. Are you poly? This is also a common questions because the Dom wants 2 maybe 3 or 4 more just like you. Are you into pain? Do you like anal sex? Are you into humiliation that is another popular question?

You have to know when to say NO , you are being interviewed but you have to interview as well. The Dom may say no eye contact when we meet and you would say I am not comfortable with that right now. The no eye contact is just a ego filler , makes his head swell and his chest stuck out like king kong. Most will require you to wear a skirt with no panties and again this is where you say NO. You do not submit to anything until you have agreed to enter a relationship.

You cannot begin training the first hour of meeting a new Dominant it does not work that way. The Dom has to know you , I mean really know you and know you better than you know yourself.  What worked with the Doms last relationship will not work with you , we are all different , personalities , habits and needs. What does the Dominant want to accomplish out of your training? What are the Dominants goals in the relationship? What do you want to accomplish ? What are your goals ? All of this takes a great deal of thought and its not going to happen over night.

Do not give passwords to your accounts , do not give banking information to someone you hardly know. There are two types of Dominants who will demand these, the ones who are insecure and the ones who have a ego problem. Trust also comes into play but this falls under being insecure. You could wake up the next morning and find your bank is empty , this has happened and it could happen to you.

The first thing a new Dominant will tell you is he will be there for you , he wants you to trust him. He will be your shoulder to cry on you can depend on him for anything.  Then you text him and a hour goes by then 8 hours a day maybe two and not a word and you sit there holding your cell phone and every time you hear that text sound you jump only to find its someone else. You then call and the first ring it goes to voice mail , hmmm interesting , but you toss it up to him being busy after all he has a career.

So remember the demands part ? Good because you have the right to make demands you did this the first time you met right? Nah you were to scared to , you thought if you said anything he would leave and never contact you again , after all he is the one and the only one right? Nah he is one of thousands who would jump at the chance to bang you , one of the thousands to fill you with the same crap.

You have the right to have 24/7 access to your new found Dominant anything less is just stupid. How long does it take to reply to a text or email? How long does it take to answer the phone and say hey I will call in a few?

Keep your legs and mouth closed for at least 60 days , this will tell you if the Dom is serious or not . If he demands you start your training by sucking his dick on the first meeting then just politely decline and leave , I can assure you sucking cock has nothing to do with training. Maybe at some point and time you may be instructed to do something different but sucking cock in a Denny’s parking lot is not training.

You must know where he lives and you must be able to come over when you want. You must want him to introduce you to his friends after all you are going to be a part of his life.

Family and friends are important even today I give the girls time off for both. Everything is planned a month in advance I know everything and I seldom allow any changes once its in black and white. Allowing down time is very important , clearing your mind like a one day mini vacation. You should be allowed to visit family and friends , this is what makes you complete. Again if the Dominant wants to keep you from family and friends the two things hes insecure or the ego thing , there could be nothing else. Oh he might say it will interfere with your training or you don’t need anyone but him. This is not true , you as a sub or slave needs some kind of down time, you need to take a breather , let your mind clear , relax , get your head together.

Many Dominants who are new are very insecure , these are the ones who keep you from family and friends , or it can be someone who just uses the word Dominant as a way to lure you in , these are the ones who you only hear from maybe once a week , once a month and just drop in bust a nut and gone again.

some of you may be ok with just being used as a piece of ass , and if that is your thing then go with the flow , be yourself , be happy but there are those who truly need someone in their life. There are those who crave submission on a full time basis. There are those who crave the structure , being with someone and just to find out your being used by someone who could careless about your feelings.

Questions to ask a New Dominant you are meeting? How long have you been in the lifestyle? What is I am not Bi? I say this because he will ask you if you are. What is I am not poly nor do I wish to be? Are you active in the community ? To me this is huge this shows he is serious about the lifestyle. He may say no I have to watch my career , but the fact is there are doctors , lawyers and bankers who attend functions. If he does not you then ask I want to be active in the community would you object? Why would he we all crave to be around those who have the same interest and the opportunity to learn from others ? What happened to your past relationships and do you care if I contact them? Do you know other Doms if so may I contact them? Why would he object to either question unless there is something to hide? What are some of your protocols both public and private? How long is the initial training and what do you expect to get out of it , meaning what are your goals? I did not bring up rules mainly because when you first meet a new Dom he does not know you well enough to give out any rules , with the exception of maybe like a bed time or a time to call or text. This is another if I text you I expect a answer are you going to stay in contact with me? The I am at work or I was to busy that answer in today’s times is just plain bullshit , it takes maybe 30 seconds to answer a text or a couple of minutes to shoot someone a email.

Just because you meet someone does not mean you submit , Just because you meet someone does not mean you should give in to their intimidation tactics. Never give your passwords or banking information , someone asking for passwords to your social  media sites has a huge problem with not only trust but insecurity. You do not want to wake up one morning and find you have a zero balance in you account. No matter who you are you need some privacy. You need family and you need your friends. Do not give in.

Vile

 

 

Eye Restrictions And Why I have Changed My Mind

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, Dominants, Eye Restrictions, Rules, Slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on January 7, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have a disagreement about eye restrictions when a Dom first meets a submissive , I myself believe eye contact means everything when getting to know each other because the eyes tell everything.

Control the mind and you control everything else , being able to get in someones head and fully understanding what makes someone think the way they do, why they do the things they do , you are able to understand their habits and change habits.

After training , the initial part of training because training is on going it never stops. Throughout the relationship the Dominant must make changes , maybe small changes or maybe drastic. Many times I make changes and neither Arianna or Lynn are even aware I have made changes. It is to easy to get into a routine and the relationship becomes stagnate its going nowhere.

Sub-space many think sub-space happens only during play but in fact sub-space happens on a daily basis , minute by minute and hour by hour. This happens with rules and protocols. Having enough protocols through out the day , changing habits , the way one thinks all keep the submissive in some sort of sub-space. Rules are put in place to make improvements of ones life. A new protocol I have put in place is before Arianna sits she stands at parade rest and she makes the request to sit , this is not a rule it is a protocol , public or private. I am keeping that level of sub-space.

http://kinkipedia.wikidot.com/wiki:eye-contact-restriction

Eye contact restrictions refer to a popular protocol within BDSM play whereby the submissive is not permitted to look at a dominant directly in the eye.

This is done as a general may of emphasizing hierarchy in the relationship but is also used as a tool for humiliation, with the idea being that the submissive is not worthy of looking in the eye of the superior dominant.

This practice is a mainly psychological activity.

Eye contact restriction is commonly maintained through the submissive having to look at the floor, with transgressions normally punished through punishments such as face slapping. In other cases eye contact restriction can actually be enforced through the use of blindfolds.

Most of the above I disagree with , it has nothing to do with Humiliation unless the submissive sees it that way. A Hierarchy yes in any D’s or M’s relationship there has to be a Hierarchy. The practice is psychological it is maintaining that sub-space because every time one speaks they are reminded of who they are and what their position is in the relationship.

Not being worthy I disagree with that statement as well , the submissive or slave is more than worthy after all they are the ones who keeps the house together. They are the ones who makes sure everything runs smoothly. They are the ones who do most of the planning. In my case Arianna does all of the above including taking care of the funds of the house keeping everything balanced , insuring everything is paid and some goes into savings. Arianna and Lynn both plan meals , clean and do chores that were assigned to them so the word worthy needs to be scratched off.

Keeping that level of sub-space , keeping one in that frame of mind and keeping one thinking.  At times I will add different protocols , one I have recently added is when we are out the girls will stand with their arms down in front with hands clasped. When my girls are out they both look like a million dollars , why? One because I care and two they both represent me. How they dress , how they talk , how they sit is all a representation of me. How they both act shows the amount of training I have provided and it shows their loyalty.

Humiliation there are at times I will use some form of humiliation nothing to extreme , but it is to remind them of who they are and what their place is within the home. Remember you can get into that routine rut and again you the Dominant needs to change things up.

So my thoughts on eye restriction , keeping one humble , a simple reminder of ones place.

My way of thinking is if you implement eye restrictions , there has to be a time when your property is allowed to look at you eye to eye. At dinner for instance this is what is called free time to speak. There are no cell phones and most of the time the TV is turned down but from this moment forward the TV will be off. At dinner I address each asking if anything is on their mind? This is total free time to be able to address anything be it good or bad. This is the time to clear the chest , clear thoughts or concerns. At the end of the day I can only make a informed decision based on the information provided. If you did not provide the information or enough or even correct information and I make a bad decision it then falls on my girls not I.

Eye restrictions is something I am still up in the air on , I am giving it a great deal of thought. Once I implement something I seldom change it..

 

Vile

Anal Sex And Submission

Posted in anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, Dominants, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on January 6, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

There is just something about Anal sex. To me the ass is the most intimate part of the female body.

Bondage , restricting the movement of the body , face down on the bed , lubing a finger and sliding in the ass , then pulling out adding more lube then sliding two fingers in slowly stretching getting it ready.

I am a huge fan of ATM , its almost a fetish but a real need when it comes to submission , there is something about ATM that is taboo. Being something so intimate to me its just not with anyone. In order for me to have sex with someone I have to have a connection , a deep connection. I suppose as we age our thought process changes or maybe not , maybe its just my way of thinking..  There are some dogs out there , men and women who just have that fuck thing going in over drive, but I wonder if they are truly happy or just fulfilling that moment. Then going home alone with a cold empty feeling. We as humans have that need for companionship , then need to be close to someone.  We have that need to be needed even when entering a relationship knowing it will not work, it is for that moment.

Bondage , tight bondage is the ultimate aphrodisiac it puts the submissive in a mindset of being helpless. Gagged and hood adds more , when you take away one or more senses away it causes a type of confusion.

Sex today it seems different , I have talked to some and it seems sex has no meaning. Sex is just a act of physical contact with no feelings or emotions. I wonder how someone could be in a relationship and it last with thoughts like that in ones mind?

I can no longer use the word making love , nor can I have that genital touch although at times I do try and I try , I try because in my mind it is needed , or that is my way of thinking. Just like getting head most of the time I love that slow gentle touch but at times I just have the need to grab her head and just start fucking her mouth.

We all look at sex in different ways , we think different and some consider sex as being meaningless. Sex just being a act with no emotions.

I find my slave when giving head as submission , but anal sex is more intimate to me because I feel it is something or the most private part of the female body.

One of my first questions when I meet someone this is after getting to know the potential partner is how she feels about anal sex? The word no ends the conversation , why? Although sex should not be based off of sex , sex does play a huge role. If you are male or female and you give into a need there will be sometime down the road when it will come up again. Making sure your needs are met is a must and if you give in then down the road you will not be happy.

A sadist meeting a submissive who cannot even stand to wear nipple clamps well do you think the relationship would last? Not it would crumble within weeks because a sadist has the need to inflict pain , inflicting pain is the way the sadist gets off. There are not many sadist who are Dominants , nor are there many Dominants who are true sadist.

Anal sex if done right can be pleasurable for both , the building up , the foreplay , taking your time , not just bending over and shoving your cock up her ass. I myself are guilty of that at times because 99% of the time the sex is about me and me only , I just want to get off and go about my business. This was all negotiated prior to entering our relationship so there were no surprises.

Some Dominants and those who are submissive may not have any interest in anal sex , there are those who are dominant I have talked to have no interest in anal sex because they felt it was dirty , and many of those who made the comments felt the same way about eating pussy. Some even said eating pussy was to submissive or it was a submissive act by a Dominant. I am not sure where those thoughts come from but to each their own I suppose.

In the past I settled for part time submission while I was trying to be a full time Dominant and it does not work. Why should I give 100% and a slave only give 50% or less? Why should I give all and not get my needs met or why should I meet needs while mine are not being met?

I cannot stress enough on how important it is to truly know each other before entering a full blown relationship , then sitting down and expressing each others needs and making sure they are going to be met. It takes very little time to sit down and talk.

You only have one life to play with , why not play it with the ball in your court?

Vile

What shall we talk about?

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on December 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Any Ideas?

My Slave Arianna’s Blog

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on December 3, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2017/12/02/journals/

 

Two different people meeting at a time of need. Both searching for something , she had a idea and I knew what I was looking for and refused to settle for less.

Her very first real Master turned out to be a total disaster , the not knowing can get you into a lot of trouble.

Her first Master was somewhat abusive , no real communication , when she visited weekly much of her time she was chained, which I see no real problem with. If times were different she would be chained most of the time but hey I gotta eat. No real formal training and a lot of blow jobs. He was much older than she was and his health was not the best. A chain smoker with a temper.

Announcing the breakup the dude lost it , the losing control , losing his slave and not knowing why.

Then Vile stepped in we were introduced and it was game over for the chain smoker. Okay I smoked as well but had a plan on stopping which I did with the help of my little E-cig. Arianna did not smoke so it was not fair to her. So three years ago I quit again with a little help but I quit after smoking 38 years. Hoora for me.

We are two different people Arianna is much smarter than I am she has a degree , while I have a degree in street smarts. She listen’s to mellow top 40 and I am more of a AC/DC guy. Arianna is quiet and reserved and I am loud and obnoxious. I embarrass her a lot, and the word fuck is my favorite word and I guess I use it at the wrong time and the wrong place , but I am working on it I promise.

Talking to a Dom a couple of years ago after a MAsT meeting while standing outside he called me the luckiest mother fucker on earth , he said it was like a miracle fell from the sky right into my arms. That statement rings true still today.

Reading Arianna’s journals gave me a greater knowledge of who she was and what made her think the way she does. I grew to know her feelings and emotions , as well as the true woman she was. Her journals were deep and at times I had to  re-read so I could gain a full understanding.

Her Journals gave me a different view on how I would approach her training. What works for one slave will not work for another, the same goes for rules but protocols are mostly the same. While personalities change my needs do not. In the beginning of training it was made clear what my needs were and what I expected out of the relationship and what I expected out of a slave. I also made it clear I would not bend or give in when it came to my needs being met.

Getting inside the head , I have mentioned this a lot in my past blogs. Having a full understanding of the slave. You have to truly know someone before you can begin training.  When I speak of limits for the most I am not speaking about pain but limits when it comes to a mental aspect. How much one can take or if I need to move at a slow pace. Remember you are changing ones thought process , you are changing habits , you are changing all habits.

Once I started training I did not inform Arianna it had began I just started and over time I could see the changes , the positive changes that was happening before my eyes. Just sitting back and watching someone who is willing to conform to someones needs it truly incredible.

One of my main requirements is for her to get a full 8 hours sleep. Sleep is very important and more so if you are taking any type of medications. Sleep is important to the mind and body. A well rested slave is a good slave , more so if the slave has a full time job.

Training you are taking away ones free will , the way one eats , sleeps , walks and talks, the way one sits. You are changing the way someone dresses , makeup and hair as I have done with Arianna.

Most want the submissive or slave to start writing a journal from the start of meeting each other. I do not believe this has as much impact as those who have been writing. What is being written is what the Dominant wants to hear again this is just my thinking.

A deep look in ones mind , reading the good , the bad and the ugly. Truly knowing someone , knowing what makes them happy or sad, likes and dislikes.

In our way of life , there is no greater bond known to any human. There are however exceptions to any rule. Looking back at my Aunt and uncle on my fathers side I saw true devotion , and the greatest love for family. A great man who would do anything to provide for his family.

Arguing with your Slave is the worst thing you could ever do as a Dominant. This gives the slave a different side to you and the more you argue the more respect is lost.  At different functions I have asked people why do people argue? What is worth arguing over?  What is so bad that would cause one or both of you to blow up? Why would you as a Dominant or Master argue with someone who submits to you? By doing so that puts you on a lower level , that takes the dominant out of the picture , you are no longer a dominant your a pissed off man or woman if a Domme .

The journal gives you a deeper look being able to understand someones limits as I stated above. If you break it you have to fix it. If you break it and you cannot fix it you have really fucked up.

Make it clear from the beginning on how you plan to use your property , and remember training someone does not mean ownership , you should not be that advanced in the relationship , training is just that training. Training someone you are seeing if not one but both are a fit. Just because your a Master does not mean the slave you are seeing is the slave for you and it goes the other way as well.

Make it clear on how you plan to use, make it clear what you expect when it comes to sex and be very clear. Talk about pain , talk about humiliation. I am not as into humiliation as I was at one time but I do believe it is needed from time to time. Talk about protocols , put on paper. By putting on paper as with rules it gives a clear picture. Rules are good but protocols are much more important , protocols provides structure , and discipline and what is expected..

Arianna’s Journal is a good read check it out.

Peace out

Vile

Evaluating A slave’s performance based on service

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, Evaluating A slave’s performance, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Slave Contract, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on November 27, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something that pops up in my mind from time to time , I suppose its something like a evaluation report you would receive from your employer. This is something Ive never discussed with Arianna or Lynn as I really saw no need.

I have stated before if you are new to the lifestyle one of the best resources is http://bestslavetraining.com One of the first sites about the lifestyle and still going strong today. Also on fetlife Best Slave Training a very active group with good topics and discussions.

My evaluations are more mental and a way to see if I need to make any changes or maybe cover something in general conversation. Instead of just asking a point blank question , its usually whats on your mind? When asking a direct question such as , Whats wrong? When asking whats wrong it puts up a defensive wall many times causing someone to shut down. Then comes the guy who demands to know whats wrong when there is really nothing wrong and its world war 3.

I look at a couple of areas one is following my rules and the willingness to follow, two following protocols , three communicating , four making sure my needs are met in service and sexually.

Behavior public and private , I have set protocols for both and I expect them to be followed. Having rules that are written down makes a easy guide. Every night before bed Arianna reads her rule , that is the last thing she does before turning out her light.

The state of mind. The willingness to take on different task when asked without prior planning. The wanting to complete all task when assigned without question. Showing her loyalty to slavery both public and private.

The following is from.. http://bestslavetraining.com

Observable objective of slave training that can be evaluated – service:

The observable objective of slave training is proper service. A Master can only truly judge a slave by what his five senses reveal to him. Try as he may, he is unable to completely see into his slave’s mind and heart. This is one thing he must accept and be honest with him about. He can’t hear her thoughts or feel the emotions a slave feels. He can only observe her behavior and come to a conclusion about what he sees. Demonstrating proper behavior is the best way a slave shows her state of mind to her Master.

If you the Master feels you need to move in a different direction then having something on paper is the best way to go. We as humans are visual we take in the information we are looking at. Having something as a reference , something to look back on so the slave is able to take everything in. This also allows the slave to ask questions if there are any concerns or to just verify something.

The training of a slave is like reprogramming someones mind, for instance Arianna does not use the words I or Me, the words are replaced with your slave. When speaking with others she uses she or this slave. You train how you the Master expects the slave to act in public and private.

My evaluations have always been private to me and I have never sat either girl down and said hey here is your yearly eval.

I have rules in place for a reason as with protocols , this does not mean they are written in stone , I may see something needs to be adjusted but I will never change , I will never take a rule away unless I see it is no longer useful. I may add to a rule or stricter protocols but protocols are something I will never take away , add yes take away no.

My evaluation has been silent , and making adjustments when needed. It is not that there have been a lot of changes but change can be good. You may see you are getting into a routine and changes are needed to break up the everyday norm.

Part of my protocols are dress , how both girls are dressed when out. I myself dress nice, 99% of the time a nice button shirt and nice jeans, my shoes are off the chart. I hate to admit it but I have a shoe fetish. Both girls look like a million dollars when out. I take pride in my property. The slave is a direct reflection of their owner , this includes how one acts , speaks , walks , eats and dresses.

So my final grades I am going to keep to myself for now , not that there is anything that is bad or anything that needs improvement because right now life is Awesome.

You do not have to do everything I say , you do not have to believe in my tactics , or my training process , but I can tell you it works for me.

I am living the dream , a life with zero arguing , zero drama and zero problems. My house runs like a fine tuned machine. The girls do not argue either both communicate all the time.

Communication is very important. Dinner time no cell phones are allowed this is the time to talk. This is the time to speak about concerns this is the girls free time to speak.

This is a short blog more so than usual but I have been working on a new project. Hypnosis , I spoke about this a couple of years ago but now it is balls to the wall..

Vile

 

 

 

 

Journals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, exploring your slave, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Rules, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on November 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A peak into someones mind , their deepest inner thoughts. How they view life and the world , friends , family , the world. Personal feelings are shared good and bad. Thoughts are shared on the deepest level , and most times Journals are never meant to be read. Journals are a safe haven where one can go and at some point and time in life , they are able to pickup and read again and reflect about life.

The Journals can be a great advantage if read by a partner or a potential partner , unlike just sitting and talking , reading gives us a greater insight on how one thinks, what makes them tick, what is going on inside their head.

Many Dominants when entering a relationship will demand the submissive start writing a journal and many times not even reading. The Journal that is being written for the most is not real. What is being wrote is what the Dominant wants to hear again if its even read.

Seeking ones submission is about getting into their mind , what makes the submissive think the way they do? How life is viewed ? How they feel on a personal level? How they view family and friends? Most of the time the Journal has little to nothing to do with sex , which when a Dominant demands a journal sex has to be included. He wants to know your deepest thoughts when it comes to sex , to include any fantasies , limits hard and soft and why?

I was lucky when Arianna and I first met , she moved in with me relatively fast , I believe it was within the first 6 weeks of meeting. Yes it does seem fast but sometimes you just know.

One day I got nosy and started going through some of Arianna’s boxes and low and behold I found a box that contained Magic. Pulling the note books out I had stumbled across around 18 years of journals. Now at this time Arianna’s training had already begun and we were into about week 2 of training of the 90 days initial training so still a long way to go.

Who cares about the Pussy or if the submissive takes it up the ass or if they swallow. Sex should be on the back burner. What I have mentioned about sex that is part of training as well but there should be other goals in mind after all the Dominant is seeking complete control and ownership. You can train someone to suck your dick to your liking or fuck the way you like to fuck , but lets get in the mind.

You would think a potential Dom/Master would care enough to take a peak inside your life. You would think they would care enough to see where you are coming from. Knowing your habits , your likes/dislikes.

Prior to any type of training the one who is training must have a clear understanding of the one who is being trained.  The Dominant can lay out some pretty basic rules , such as bedtime , texting , emails all of which are forming habits , habits the Dominant may find useful but to dig in to some real deep training the Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Once inside the mind the Dominant has full control providing they do nothing stupid. Making unrealistic demands such as pics from work , or demanding nude videos if the submissive is not comfortable doing so. There is a fine line between something that is Ok to something that is just downright stupid.

Training is a form of Hypnosis , not only protocols but rules and followed are suggestions. Suggestions go a long way when training and note mistakes are going to be made , a lot of mistakes are going to be made and there should be room for error. As much as we would like to say we are perfect we are far from it.

If there are no journals on hand make a suggestion to start a journal , by making a suggestion there is no pressure for the submissive to start one. If they really care then the typing will begin or old school by writing. If the submissive does not care then your suggestion will go nowhere.

Once you the Dominants thinks you have a pretty good feeling about knowing your potential partner and you feel you have the ground work to begin training then move into the sexual area , note try staying away from limits asking one what their limits are really has no meaning because limits change over time , limits change with different partners , of course there are those hard unthinkable limits and we all know those.

Moving into the sex area of the journal to include fantasies , for the most fantasies are just that. Just because the submissive states she has a fantasy about being with another girl it may be just that a fantasy. If the submissive wants to be with another girl you can be sure she will bring it up.

The journal , what does one hope to get out of a D’s or M’s relationship ? Many are able to express more on paper than speaking face to face. Many are able to share deeper feelings than face to face.

Sit down with the submissive once you have read and outline parts that draws a interest and discuss what has been written. Once you bring out the information that has been provided then the submissive will feel as though they can open up after all you are sitting there holding the words that were written.

This now opens the door to sex and other kinks and yes fantasies. Now lets talk about bondage and maybe explore pain , sub-space.

After you have gotten into the mind the submissive will begin to open doors that were once locked.

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Vile