Archive for the BDSM Rules Category

What Does She Get Out Of The Relationship

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, FaceBook Vile Woods, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Slave, Submissive, Training Arianna, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on October 19, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

This was a question posed to me last week while out . A friendly get together , One of my days I am able to get out and be me. Getting together with those who somewhat think as I do, a heavy sigh when I sit down and sip on my chocolate Latte , or is it mocha ? I know it is one Arianna always gets my drink. This week she was not with me , Arianna and out newest addition to our home were spending quality time together . Ariannas mother has been ill and had a heart procedure done on that Wednesday so rest was much needed as well.

I have been mentoring a new Dominant and at last it is someone who is truly interested in the D’s lifestyle, someone who has not only been listening but someone who is taking the proper steps in building a relationship.

There are several things that come into play when building a 24/7 D’s Or M’s relationship.

One being compatibility just because your a Dominant or submissive does not mean the one you met is right for you.  A lot comes into play , you may or may not want rules , your view on kink may be different, you may or may not like pain or humiliation , you may not want to give up total control. If the Dominant you have met has nothing in common with you then move on.

Being able to talk to each other not at each other, you can listen but not hear a fucking thing.

Knowing you have a open line of communication any time you have the need. Knowing you can share your feelings and not be afraid to. Knowing you can share your feelings and not worry about being yelled at.

Both having a goal in place , both having needs that have to be met.

When you first meet a new Dominant be it being introduced , maybe a dating site , maybe fetlife and you both hit it off you may want to see where things go.

One thing I try to explain to submissives or slaves he is not your Dominant he is a man and you are a woman. You have to set the lifestyle to the side and find out what you have in common. The Dominant has no control over you , nor can he make any demands.

On a normal vanilla date the man ask what kind of food do you like and the Dominant as if you take it up the ass? Do you swallow ? Do you get off on humiliation ? How do I know this ? I have been there I have done just that , I have played and I have used and when I grew tired I forgot your name.

Something I never gave much thought about was the impact I would have on someone by using them. I never thought about the emotional impact The impact if they were not stable in life , mentally. A few months or week can have a huge impact on someones life, and many times the submissive or slave will make several more mistakes before they find out they have been played. Then the one she connects , the one she begins a relationship with is handed the task of cleaning everything up, if it can be cleaned up.

What does she get out of the relationship ? I am older than she is I just cannot see what I have to offer, I do not see how I can benefit her.

Here is the tricky part , once you decide you want to take that step and try to begin a new relationship there are steps that should be taken. If at any time you the Dominant try to take any short cuts or look over something you will fail, you will crash and burn.

More so , both have to be honest with each other to a T, you cannot leave any skeletons in your closet. Things are easier to fix or deal with if all your cards are on the table. If you wait and something comes up and it proves to you be your fault or you lied , you are the only one to blame. If you cannot be honest and truthful you cannot be trusted, if you cannot be trusted you cannot build a relationship.

Codependency runs through out the lifestyle not all but the majority of those who are submissive are codependent. Being codependent is not a bad thing that is unless you happen to fall into the wrong hands. I read something not long ago where a submissive said she was feeling depressed and the reply from a Dom was , you just need a good fucking.

When I talk to a new Dominant who is about to enter a relationship , my first words are you’re whole life is about to change. You’re thought process is about to change, the way you acted , the way you speak , walk, act in public.

Then comes the dump truck , that will back up to you’re front door and start to dump. This is when you sit down looking at a puzzle in a million pieces and you have to put it all together. As you are putting together getting all the pieces to fit together you are looking and the puzzle is still growing.

I have yet to figure out why ? Most of the time a submissive will jump right out of the pan into the fire and just start spilling their guts and the Dom just sits there with a blank stare thinking what the fuck have I done.

It is like you have a hundred books in front of you all of them are open, here is the tricky part. Some are fiction but some are non-fiction and you have to be able to separate everything.

Once you have gathered all the facts and you have decided to move forward you can now put a training program in place. A training program that will be tailored to not only you the Dominant but to the slave or submissive. What worked training worked on one will not work on another. The same goes with rules.

As Dominants we have our standards when it comes to protocols public and private, we already have our structure in place and both will fall into part of the training.

I had mentioned codependency and the needy thing , while there are some who do not fall under either, I have found through out some 25 years most are indeed both.

In a perfect world and there is such a thing I know I am living it , in a perfect world there are many benefits a submissive or slave will experience.

What does she get out of the relationship , more so if the Dominant is older and in our lifestyle the age gap is pretty common.  An older Dominant for the most has settled down, the anger issues are out of the way, we have sewn our oats We are more settled and basically looking for the same thing a life long relationship.

Being in the right frame of mind , this is why we must communicate to make sure this is a need and not a want, making sure it is just not a fantasy or a sub frenzy. Communication I call just dating getting to know each other, finding what we have in common besides the lifestyle ….

The Submissive is seeking what most are seeking that is love and understanding, they are seeking acceptance. They are seeking guidance, and structure, and knowing someone wants to be with them because of who you are.

Being in the right frame of mind , truly understanding who you are and what your needs are. I would like to add LDR’s Long Distant Relationships seldom work unless there is an immediate plan for one or the other to make a move. If that is the case you should meet more than one. The submissive should be able to obtain references , check the local community. A good reason just recently a submissive move from Main sold everything she had moved in with a Daddy Dom and in thirty days time he set her out on the street with no place to go.

Training is for the good of the relationship I use to call training a form of Patty Hearst Syndrome, but as I grew older , now it is almost like rehabilitation a total mind reset, changing ones thought process.

You cannot begin training someone unless you truly know them, until you truly know the submissive inside out and it does not begin being physical.

The Submissive should have 24/7 access to her Dominant living together or even in a LDR this is most important if long distance it gives a sense of security.

If long distance know where your Dominant lives, know where he works , what he drives, after all he will want you to be transparent and he should as well.

Once you walk through the door and you drop your bag it is like you have stepped into another dimension, you will enter a whole new world. You the submissive has to be willing to adapt, you have to go in with a blank mind.

On the other side there is another Dominant and submissive, both who require no rules , no structure, no protocols and this is fine because if that works for you life is good.

When Arianna and I first met she was somewhat hesitant about entering a relationship with me because of the age difference. She had a bad experience with a Dominant who was much older than she was . He wanted the play and control but wanted none of the responsibility that came with the relationship. When Arianna first met him she was in a slave frenzy and trusted way to easy. After 6 months it came to a end but we had met just prior to the crash.

We talked or I let her talk because I needed to see where she was coming from and what her needs would be.

If you think about it a Submissive or Slave is looking for about the same thing someone in a vanilla relationship.

Trust , open  communication, honesty, , Loyalty , Someone who will not hurt them be it mentally , physically or verbally.  Knowing her limits will be respected. You can push someone over a cliff and the damage may not be repairable, or you could lose the trust you worked so hard to gain.

A good friend of mine a new Dominant asked the question what does she get out of it and she gets the above , but she gets so much more. Now she feels she has found home, she now feels she can be herself without being made fun of.

If you the Dominant leads with a fair but firm hand she will follow and follow with no questions.

Once rules are in place you cannot change to fit your needs, nor can you add more than one can take. Here are 50 rules and I want you to memorize them and be able to recite them back to me. This is unfair unless you the Dominant can do it. Very few rules are needed if you have protocols in place. Many have made fun of me when I speak about protocols but the fact is if you have in place and you are consistent you do not need that many rules.

If you the Dominant explain in detail who and what you are, then you have to maintain that status, so you need to be careful when you start explaining who and what you are about. If you tell someone what you need and expect you have to be able to explain what you have to offer and how you can benefit the relationship.

I explained the relationship is about me, when it comes to taking care of me, when it comes to sex everything, but I had to prove I would give back more than I would take and to this day I have proven that.

A true Dominant has gotten past the anger issues , a true Dominant is in full control , not only himself , but his surroundings , his home and his property. A true Dominant will drop what ever he is doing in a time of need. A true Dominant will listen with an open mind. A true Dominant will listen and care and find a solution when needed. A true Dominant will step up and take full responsibility. A true Dominant will put you first even when it comes to family and without question. A true Dominant who truly knows you , knows when something is wrong or about to be wrong, and will fix before things get out of hand.

I believe the Submissive should get way more out of the relationship than the Dominant does.

Arianna and I live a consensual non consent M’s relationship but and there is a but. This was all agreed on prior to entering the relationship . We entered the relationship as Master and Slave.

If you are both true to your word , if you are both honest and can communicate openly you will experience a relationship like you could never imagine..

Vile

 

 

Abuse Is Alive And Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Mentor, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, exploiting your slave, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

MAsT:Kissimmee

 

May 19th

 

Meeting

A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. http://www.mast.net , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…

 

 

 

 

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.

Master/slave

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..

 

 

 

The 128 Rules

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM Trust, commitment, communication, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, positive reinforcement, Slave, Submission, submissive, The 128 Rules, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

At one time I blasted the 128 rules , maybe because the author of the 128 and I were on a different page or so I thought.

I run a very strict home , I have strict protocols in place as well as rules that are followed to a T.

When I first read the 128 rules , I or my way of thinking the rules were just sexually based , and no structure , well this will be the first time you will hear me say I was wrong.

Okay there I was wrong.

While sitting in the living room I asked Leticia what she was doing , and she stated she was reading the 128 rules.

I kinda looked up and said really ? So tell me what you think about the 128 rules?

Arianna started explaining what the rules really meant was a lot of structure , and protocols, and if a Dominant or Master was able to stay consistent there would be a lot of good growth..

After listening to her side of the story and once I gave it some thought I agreed back tracking from my previous thoughts..

So I reached out to Johnathan Kay , the original Author and asked for permission to use his information in full and he agreed , of course giving credit which he deserves…

128 Rules for the female slave

by Johnathan Kay
(Warning: This is not sex positive. It’s proudly privileged.)

You can learn why I’m not sex positive here.
You can learn why I “Called Red on the Center for Sex Positive Culture” in Seattle here.
You can read my final review of the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle, WA here where I mention I was a member for 15 years. 

Please note the following:
“128 Rules for the female slave” and former “128 Basic slave Rules” are under copyright 1992 by Johnathan Kay. Email me at 128rules@gmail.com for permission to use any of it for any reason. This site is the official blog for the rules:  http://www.128rulesguy.blogspot.com. (use this credit after receiving my permission for use in your application)

Use at your own risk. I take no responsibility for what happens to you when you use the rules. Email me if you have any questions. Remember: First aid works for kinky injuries. So does common sense. Don’t be an idiot. Take precautions. You can do this.

Rules change when I feel like changing them. I’m the Master here…remember that. This blog is the official version….no numbers, no letters….just this blog. You’re reading the current version unless I’m updating it while you’re reading them.

I am “Master-JK” on Fetlife. 
Context

“128 Rules for the female slave” are written for het M/s (Male Master/female slave) relationships.  While it can be converted for other orientations – the focus here will be strictly for Male Dominants/Masters and female submissives/slaves. Those who convert it to fit other orientations must give credit to the blog here as stated above. 


Author’s History


Way back in my college years in the 70’s I had found some adult magazines that depicted either women being restrained in various positions or women as Mistresses (or Dominatrixes as they were also called) who topped people. I like them both. It struck a cord with me and seemed very natural. And through a bit of experimenting over the years with girlfriends whom I would dominate and switching into submission to serve professional Mistresses – I learned a whole lot and I wanted to know more. I read what I could find. I examined toys and how they were used. I wrote various journal entries, stories and scenarios of play and training.


And much later in the mid-80’s I had moved into Seattle and decided to go public, to crawl out of my very private life and go to a conference on bdsm. And wow did I learn so much more. There were people who did all this for real, taught classes, did demos, sold toys. And they were from all walks of life and all different sexual orientations which took some getting used to over the years. It was more than just Masters and slaves. There was all this terminology I had to learn. I found a group called C-Space that offered education that I tried to get to almost every week for more almost four years. And there were more conferences I attended to take classes, play and observe others playing and to buy toys that were being put on a little known group back then called the National Leather Association.


I placed personals in various papers and found submissive women on dating chat lines. I found a kind of freedom where I could be very explicit and more open about what I wanted and how I wanted it done. I attended local events and found a kind of family atmosphere to it all. I found others who needed this lifestyle.


I had started to train gals I met and later one of them asked if I would write all this stuff down that I was teaching her. And the rules document was born – first with 77 rules and later 128. 


While offering the rules to others in newsgroups a gal wrote me and asked if she could print it on her website “Enchantress’s Secret Garden” – found here in the wayback machine internet archive – this one dated in the 90’s (no longer active online),which I allowed back then, and where it spread like wildfire. 


Years later, I was contacted by an editor, Jurgen Boedt, of a magazine in Europe who wanted to print it in his black and white publication called “Secret Magazine” at which point I rewrote the document to include an intro and other parts because I felt readers who would get it in more than six countries would need a little more then just the rules. They would need some background,  some caution and some instructions of how to use the rules list. Secret Magazine spread the rules document over two issues – Issue 14 and 15


Through all this I started to join more groups in Seattle, Portland-OR, and Spokane-WA where I was a board member, Tri-Cities-WA and was playing up in Vancouver-BC. And after Beyond the Edge Cafe in Seattle closed after years of being an eating establishment with play spaces in the basement a new group opened and I became a member of SPCC where later I became a life member, still with only a two digit membership number, out of what has grown to nearly 14,000 members in 2011, in what became known as CSPC: Center for the Sex-Positive Culture – a community center model for socializing, play, classes and vendor fairs and where I have played nearly every week for years mainly at the Grind and Pan-Sexual play nights. Soon I had a bit of a dance card schedule going with people scheduled for one of those two nights. And here I am still going at it and loving it. I became polyamorous over the years to expand my skills and give what I learned to more people. I played in the M/s mode, D/s mode and as a Top playing with a bottom. I bought better toys and developed a group of skills of many variations. I acquired a following and a wonderful primary female slave partner whom I live with and enjoy life with in so many ways. Yes, you can find a partner to play with who needs what you can give and what you can offer. 


All in all, from my secretly kept life to going public, I have never turned to look back. This is where I belong. This is what I need. This is what I want. This is where I feel the most alive. This is where I feel like I have come home.
Purpose of the Rules
  • For anyoone who wants to find out more about what might be included in a heterosexual Master/slave relationship. 
  • To know, as I found out, how fulfilling this lifestyle can be. 
  • To feel this ‘at home’ feeling. 
  • To feel an intimate sexual ingredient in every part of your life. 
  • To know there is a source from which all this comes and allows for living like this to be so special, wanted, and most of all needed and necessary. 
  • To feel alive. 
  • To know that everything about your life and your past finally makes sense. 
  • To feel sensual, sexual, enlightened, and empowered, cared for and desired in a manner you have not found in a vanilla lifestyle. 
  • To know how it is to be made free through it all. 
  • To seek guidance and realize favor and acceptance with reason. 
  • To know what gets you wet and hot and bothered. 
  • To find, finally, who you are and where you fit. 

 

Notes for the female slave to Keep in Mind

1. Go slow, have lots of discussions, know that a M/s relationship goes fast, be honest, open, communicate all issues, learn, be ok with mistakes made, listen, and be protective of your well being, psychological, physical, sexual, social and emotional health. 
2. Use your safe words if you have them. 
3. Ask lots of questions. 
4. Read whatever you can find on the M/s lifestyle, toys used, safety, sexual safety, positions, other people’s rules, first aid, techniques, etiquett, practices, culture, traditions, aftercare – this is very important to bring you back from intense play, spiritualism, etc. 
5. Expect to be tested on what you are taught. 
6. Understand punishment as something you would rather not get often. Know that discipline helps to remind you of how to behave. 
7. Each rule has many meanings. Find what speaks to you most to understand and apply the rule. Work with each rule often coming back to re-evaluate them. 
8. Trust is everything. Know your Master. Understand how problems can be resolved. Know to walk away if necessary till you find the right Master for you. 
9. Consider a trial period. 
10. Have a kind of third person thing going on with you and allow it to watch over you and help you get through what you are put to use for and to evaluate how use of you fits. Be able to talk about issues and work to resolve them. 
11. Ask for release from a Master rather than storming out. 
12. Get tested for sexual safety. Be honest with your  Master. Insist your Master gets tested. 
13. Don’t be afraid to use condoms, dental dams, latex or nitrile gloves to be sexually safe. 
14. Tell you doctor exactly how you got the marks on your body so that you get the right kind of medical help. 
15. Adjust and fit the rules for your relationship and needs. Eliminate those you don’t want to use. 
16. Avoid drugs and alcohol when in a M/s relationship. You don’t need any more problems. This lifestyle can be dangerous and you will want to act safely and be safely led and used.
17. Keep a journal – one for you, one for your Master. 
18. Expect assignment. Do your best. 
19. Your primary focus is to serve, obey and hope to be found pleasing in all you provide and do.
20. Be of good health to be flexible as much as you can be for use. 



How to Use the Rules


1. Kneel in an attentive position in a safe place nude as if on assignment along with some paper and a pen.  
2. Read through all the rules in a whisper and feel in your heart how they sound to you. It may take you from hours to days to read through all the rules.  
3. Using the following to rate the rules by number or your chosen color code:

  • Will do.
  • Want to do, but will need a little push.
  • Won’t do ever. In fact, if so required, will ask for release. 
  • Find questionable and may be in need of a rewrite or elimination.
  • Must do without question – an absolute need.

4. When finished with the rating – leave the rules alone for a bit and come back and do it again. Some decisions might change after the first time. 
5. You do not have to memorize all the rules you want to use. 
6. The rules are for building a mindset. 
7. Take the time to read your final selections often to help keep you in your place. 
8. Discuss your selections with your Master or with those you wish to consider to be taken by as you Master. Follow what is finally chosen and approved by your Master.


The 128 Rules

1. i will serve, obey and please my Master.

2. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my Master, hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He percieves of my potential – He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me.

3. i worship my Master’s abilities and focus to keep me in my ‘place’ to serve His needs.

4. i worship every inch of my Master’s body.

5. The power of my Master fills me with awe. The sheer thought of Him or to hear His voice gives me strength and confidence to serve Him to the best of my abilities regardless of the circumstances going on in my life and His.

6. To receive pleasure i must not only earn it, but accept Master’s permission when it is granted to me. Pleasure is a gift and i must not ever abuse it in any way for it can be taken from me at any time.

7. i worship my Master’s whip whether it is used for His pleasure upon my flesh or to punish me for my behavior.

8. i trust my Master: His responsibilities, His skills, His hunger and needs, and His concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health.

9. i am nothing more than an object of Master’s choosing to use for His needs. 

10. i will not act to satisfy my needs without Master’s permission.

11. my body and my mind are the property of my Master.

12. i must always give thanks to my Master for whatever He gives to me and do so in the manner i was taught by Him.

13. i must be specific and very explicit in my speech.

14. i will not hesitate to respond to my Master. 

15. i will thank my Master for the discipline and punishments i receive, specifying what i received and the reason as to why i was given them.

16. i have no will of my own accept to behave in the manner which Master has taught me, according to the rules He expects me to follow, seeking to be found pleasing by him in all i do, to listen when He teaches me, or to report to Him of my progress in serving Him and when given His guidance to do better.

17. i am always in submission to my Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at anytime, in any place, under any circumstances, regardless of who may be present. For the opportunity to submit and to please is by far more important and satisfying than any other pursuit. i trust my Master will keep me safe, protecting His reputation and mine in the presence of others, as He examines my ability to present myself to Him and to others in a subtle manner when required to protect our lifestyle from those who may not understand, nor support, as long as our behavior is not in anyway misrepresented nor misinterpreted by those who may be afar. i am to set, once again, a good example, ready to explain my position to others when required to do so. my lifestyle is a part of a growing culture for which i must never forget that i am an integral part.

18. All my choices shall be based upon whether or not they will please my Master.

19. When i am not in the presence of my Master and i have choices to make – i will perform them to the best of my abilities and within the boundaries and guidance He has allowed me.

20. i shall wear the collar my Master gives me with pride for it signifies His ownership of me and
my devotion to Him.

21. i shall wear the chains my Master gives me as a symbol of my position in life – that of bondage to Him. i shall wear them, as required, around my neck, my wrists, my ankles or around my waist.

22. When i am ready – i shall wear His rings to signify my submission to Him – one pierced through each nipple of my breasts and one through each labia of my pussy.

23. my mouth shall only be referred to as a cunt for it will often be used as if it were a pussy.

24. my sex shall only be referred to as a pussy.

25. When the cock of my Master is put into my cunt and i am directed to suck it – i will do so vigorously as long as i am required to do so. my hands shall be placed on the tops of my thighs, behind my neck or held at the base of my back so that during the sucking i can use my whole body to display my hunger to my Master.

26. my Master’s cum must never go to waste – i will swallow all of it when Master cums into my cunt (and be punished should I spill any of it from my lips), licking it up if Master cums into my hands or into a plate i hold in front of Him to receive it, or onto the food He gives me which He may require of me to hold just under His cock as He ejaculates over it. i will clean His cock thoroughly squeezing out every last drop. In rare and privileged cases i may wear my Master’s cum on my body, sometimes after massaging it into my skin. Cum is a gift from my Master and it is an honor to receive it. The eating of my Master’s cum will be counted as one of my meals for that day.

27. i worship my Master’s cock, its head and its shaft, especially when it is hard or when i am given the opportunity to make it hard for Him.

28. i will worship my Master’s ass only after a thorough washing of it. i shall do so hungrily, being sure to lick between the cheeks for as long as Master requires me to do so. i will use my hands to spread my Master’s cheeks apart.

29. i will never look into the eyes of my Master without his permission. To do so would be inappropriate of my position, and doing so could be interpreted by Him that i am seeking His attention or expecting Him to act – when such things are up to Him and to Him alone.

30. my head must be bowed down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i honor the position of my Master and it is important that i am not distracted in my submission to Him.

31. my eyes must be cast down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i am to focus on my behavior, waiting to act appropriately and without hesitation when directed to do so by Him.

32. i must always wear revealing and sexy clothing of good taste around my Master unless given permission to do so otherwise. The clothing i wear will allow easy access to my pussy, ass and breasts. The clothing will emphasize and often exaggerate my assets. i will wear such clothing in any kind of weather. How i present my body to Him or in front of others is more important than my discomfort and insecurities.

33. When others show an interest in what i am wearing i must ask them if they would like to see more and then gladly show them what they would like to see – but only after i have received permission from my Master – for i trust my Master’s judgement that such a display is not only reasonable but is safe to do.

34. i must remove all of my clothing in the way i have been taught when Master commands of me to do so – regardless of who may be present and despite where it is i am – i trust my Master.

35. When i remove clothing from my body it must be folded neatly and placed in a small pile in front of me just ahead of my feet or my knees if i should be required to be in my kneeling position after unclothing myself.

36. my basic attire in the presence of my Master shall consist of a collar and my highest heels. The rings of my submission, if i have been pierced, must also be attached to my body, as should the chains He has given or allowed me to wear.

37. my legs, underarms and pussy must be kept completely shaved smooth and clean so that nothing of me is hidden from view.

38. Unless otherwise given permission – my hair must be kept up in a manner that is ravishing so that my shoulders and the nape of my neck are fully exposed – especially when i am naked. It is important to Master that i appear not just attractive, but alluring and desirable.

39. Whenever i need to pick something up or receive something from someone else i must do so wherever possible by going into a kneeling position to show that i am honored to do so. i will perform this motion according to how Master has taught me.

40. my pussy and ass must be thoroughly washed and of a good aroma at all times, if even perfumed, but especially before serving my Master.

41. my “place” is on my knees before my Master, for it is a privilege and honor to be His slave.

42. When in the presence of my Master, but not in use, i will go to the place He has selected until i am needed by Him.

43. my greatest felt satisfaction is realized when i know i have pleased my Master.

44. There can be no greater pain or suffering i can feel then when Master is not pleased with me. Naturally i will feel depressed, saddened, empty, and lost. i can only hope He will show His mercy upon me and provide to me the guidance i will need to be put back on track so that i will be forgiven and once again be allowed His eyes upon my flesh, His touch upon my soul, and His warmth and love upon my heart.

45. my submission is a natural inborn feeling, and at times a surging and powerful force inside me that only a respectable and knowledgeable Master can recognize, control and manage, for a He understands how my nature influences my behavior and how temptations to act outside of its drive can easily lead me astray and away from my primary focus: to please and to be found pleasing. He, too, manages and controls His Own natural state, sharing with me through a power exchange between us, bonding me tightly to Him, His needs with mine. my submission to such a Master allows for me to feel more aware and alive inside and out, bringing me to a feeling i cherish: ‘ at home ‘.

46. i fear no other power for my Master is always with me.

47. i will not hesitate in my obedience to my Master.

48. Whenever Master speaks, even when i am speaking, i am to immediately become silent so i may be able to listen intensely to what He has to say. i must never interrupt Him unless He has shown me how to communicate with Him, if i need to. i must ask first for His permission to speak, specifying to whom i would like to speak to, and whether or not i may be allowed to speak freely – then and only then, if granted, may i say anything more than asking first to speak.

49. The opportunity to please my Master is very important to me and i will take every chance to seek out such opportunities to do so to the best of my abilities and in accordance to how i have been taught or allowed to do so.

50. i choose willingly to be treated as my Master’s property – as long as such treatment is safe and legal.

51. When Master feels i am ready and our relationship has progressed to a lifelong commitment, i shall be specially prepared to receive His unique and permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, in a place of His choosing, whether it be a piercing, a tattoo or a branding. Thereafter, i shall become His property and slave in the most strict sense – completely His for as long as the relationship continues to be managed and controlled in the manner in which is beneficial to each of us and in accordance with our mutually shared natures.

52. i am my Master’s greatest treasure.

53. i will learn all the positions my Master wants to teach me to the best of my abilities and will be prepared to take such positions when required and to display myself in a manner through them that He, and others who may be present, will find most pleasing.

54. i must never reach orgasm without explicit permission from my Master. Failure to receive properly asked for permission and i will endure the punishment Master will put upon me without my safeword. Such pleasure must be seen as a privilege so that i do not take advantage of it.

55. The safeword given to me by my Master can be spoken at any time – even when i have been told to be silent. If i am not able to verbalize it – i trust my Master will show me how i can express it. Safewords are for my protection as well as His. i must be careful not to take more than i can handle, as He will need to know when to stop from getting carried away with His own passions – so that i may be prepared over time to endure more for Him.

56. my safeword, verbal or otherwise, cannot be used when i am being punished. i must remember that punishment could never be very effective if i were able to control it – i must take it in full measure – so that i will focus on the correction of my behavior for the long term, for unlike discipline, punishment is not what i will want again. i should know better. However, safewords can be used when i am being disciplined – Master will let me know which is which when the time has come that such treatment is necessary to correct my behavior.

57. i must confess to my Master when i have been naughty so that He may decide if such violations require me to be disciplined or to be punished. i must accept whatever decisions He makes by thanking Him for His choice – if He allows it before or shortly thereafter, specifying as to why i will be or have been disciplined or punished. i must focus upon how sorry i am for not behaving in the way in which i have been taught – for i have brought defilement upon myself and to Him an unacceptable act which is displeasing to Him.

58. i realize Master may own more than one slave, if He so chooses, and that i, unless allowed by Him, may never be able to have another Master other than Him, except by His choosing to further my training. i trust Master will take whatever precautions are necessary to keep the slaves He chooses to own sexually healthy and to provide whatever measures are necessary to protect us from the eruptions and ravages of any jealously which may try to corrupt the relationships our Master has allowed between each of us – including the one we each have with Him.

59. i must never be concerned when i feel too much of my flesh is showing, in private or in the general public – however, i can ask my Master for permission as to how to handle my discomfort.

60. i am a female slave – of worth and value to any Master who would find me useful. my role has been clearly brought into definition through my ability to recognize and to act accordingly with my true nature, enhanced through the teachings of my Master, and through the continued practice of my primary focus, and my search for every opportunity to do so.

61. my Master will decide what my sexual orientation shall be. i will commit myself to His decision and perform as such only in His presence and only with His permission. i know my performance will be measured and corrected as He sees fit should i be required to attend to, provide myself to, perform with, or upon another female slave.

62. i must tell my Master if i have had an orgasm without His permission so that i can be properly punished for my disobedience and disrespect.

63. Pain and pleasure shall be with me always – in my thoughts and my fantasies – for the contrast strengthens me to behave in the manner my Master expects of me. Such thoughts and fantasies are tainted with the memories i have from the last time i was in the presence of my Master. He is with me always.

64. my limits do not have to be respected – i trust my Master to take me past them when He expects that i am ready – for each side of the wall of my limitations is both pleasurable and a challenge – one side more intense than the other. My only hope in such transferences is that Master will be able to take me there again and again as my relationship to Him progresses through time, that He too will need it as much as i will, and that He will not be afraid to increase the intensity while we are there.

65. i have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved slave.

66. i will endure whatever discipline or punishment my Master gives me so i can become a better slave for Him.

67. i will work on building up my tolerances to the level my Master needs me to have, being careful not to push myself further or faster than i am ready to endure for Him, so that i may be able to expand my limitations and increase my value to Him.

68. Through discipline and punishment i shall learn to behave.

69. In bondage i am made free.

70. i will never touch my breasts, nipples, pussy or clit with my hands or sex toys in any manner where i could experience sexual or sensual pleasure without permission from my Master including washing them, shaving my pussy, adjusting my breasts as i fit them into clothing, or in attaching my rings.

71. Only through submission can i find my true self.

72. my life is empty without a Master to please – that lost feeling inside can be real and it can grow. i may be able to step away from the hunger of my nature, but not for long, for soon it could effect every part of my life. It is important that i seek a Master to please – but if i cannot find one or that i shall not be found, i am not totally lost for i must always remember: i will survive – for it is my nature to do so. my drive to please can be adapted towards the needs of others even though they may not be as satisfying as the one i would have towards a Master. i must keep in the back of mind that there is a Master who is looking too and that i need to be patient by redirecting my needs in other ways where i can provide pleasure to others.

73. i shall never think of myself as a weak person for it takes a strong female to commit to the drive inside me, to serve, to obey and to please a Master. i too have responsibilities and as natural as they may seem to me it is important that i use all of my faculties including my creative spirit to submit to a Master in a unique fashion personal to my relationship with Him. By doing so i hope to provide a good example to those females around me who may still be learning so they too are not led astray from their primary focus, that they are as true to their nature as i strive to continue to be to mine. i must remember that how i well i behave enlightens and empowers me to become even closer to who i am – a devoted slave, of good rapport to a Master who truly understands my needs in relationship to His own.

74. i will give all that i am to my Master in order to become free.

75. i must never show disrespect towards my Master in any way – no matter where i am – in his presence or not.

76. Crying and the shedding of tears at any time is good and expected for it softens my will and bonds me closer to my Master.

77. Only in complete submission to my Master shall i realize the depth of the love i have for Him.

78. The needs of my Master must always come first before mine own for they offer an opportunity to please Him.

79. i must be attentive to the needs of my Master and always be ready to respond to them to the best of my abilities and in the unique ways in which i have chosen and have developed for Him.

80. i am allowed to suggest ways to further my training or use of me, verbally or through my journal, as long as i address my Master properly first.

81. i must always respond fully both physically and verbally to whatever my Master does with me. The expressions of my emotions and my physical responses are important to Him. i must never hold back any part of their display, regardless of how intense they may be, unless restricted to do so.

82. i am a sexual and sensual being.

83. i must always remember how pleased my Master is when others delight in my sexiness as a result of my ability to show off my assets.

84. my behavior must always display a sexual content however subtle.

85. The only clothing i will buy and wear will be those items which my Master would find pleasing to Him: fitting to my figure and its assets, of good quality, of reasonable cost, and appropriate in His eyes and taste for the occasions i am allowed to attend with or without Him. i may ask if i may choose what to wear so i may be able take an opportunity to surprise Him to win His favor.

86. i may, at times, offer various parts of my body to my Master in hopes He will take pleasure in using them in whatever ways He wishes. my only hope will be that my offering will please Him. If not, i want Him to punish me.

87. It is important for me to eat plenty of carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins in the foods and fluids i am permitted to choose to nourish my body and mind, and to exercise my body regularly, as permitted by my Master, to increase my physical strength, to keep my limbs as flexible as possible, and to maintain or improve my figure so i may be able to endure my Master’s use of me however intense and for however long a period is required by Him. i want to be of a healthy and sound mind and body, free as possible of any personal limitations, when pleasing my Master.

88. If i am required to be my Master’s toilet, into or onto which He chooses to release the watery juices of His cock, i shall position myself to receive His personal waters by kneeling for Him, tilting my head back, opening my cunt wide, and closing my eyes so that He will delight in the display and offering of my body and of one of my orifices for Him choose upon which one to use. i shall remain still as He releases Himself, swallowing what i can of the waters He allows me. i shall play with myself during the release, as is instructed by Him, so that i am permitted to sexualize the experience as much as possible for His pleasure, thanking Him afterwards for allowing me the opportunity to honor Him in this most private way.

89. i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission – my pussy must be available for His use at all times. Should i be allowed to use a pad or tampoon – it must be removed in His presence should He require my vagina to be emptied – regardless of where i am and who may be present. The use of a pad or tampoon is a privilege that can be taken away from me at any time. If so, i can only hope i will be allowed to bleed for His pleasure and to feel my blood trickling down my legs or to strain to hear it drip onto the floor or onto another female slave he has selected to punish with my blood.

90. If Master has chosen my sexual orientation to that of being bisexual, and He requires of me to receive the watery juices or blood of a chosen female slave’s pussy, i am to position myself, as i would for Master, to receive upon my flesh or into my cunt the slave’s juices, and if permitted to do so, either through His command or after receiving permission from Him to display for Him my hunger, i will cup my cunt tightly to the slave’s pussy to feed from her, licking and sucking, if allowed to do so, as much as I can get from her remaining tightly cupped to her until Master allows me to release myself from her. Thereafter, i am to be thankful for what i have received and for the privilege He allowed me. Such a feeding will be counted as one of my meals for the day.

91. If it is possible to practice my basic attire in my household i will do so. i will remove my clothing immediately after entering my household putting my collar on first, then my rings and chains (if i have them), and my highest heels.

92. i will always sleep nude – kneeling first before i enter my bed and kneeling first as soon as i get out of my bed – for it is a great privilege to have a bed to sleep on.

93. i must never tighten my body when it is being whipped, caned, cropped, slapped, paddled, belted, strapped, spanked, bullwhipped, signal whipped, or anally or vaginally pumped. my Master likes it when my flesh jiggles and He knows that when i tighten my body it hurts more and inhibits my ability to display my expressions and emotions.

94. i am proud to wear upon my body the marks given to me by my Master. i know that my Master will never mark me permanently – other than the mark of His ownership He will give me at the proper time, but i will gladly suffer for Him so he can mark me with the stripes he wishes to decorate my body with for His viewing pleasure.

95. i will always listen with a strong interest in whatever my Master has to say during my training. i want to learn all that i can from Him so i can understand more about Him, about me, about the bdsm scene and community, and those involved in bdsm relationships – so i may be able to better understand the world i am apart of and be able to communicate it accurately to anyone who wishes to know more about it.

96. When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when i have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master’s house – only His whip shall be used to dry me.

97. When i walk, run, sit, stand, kneel, reach out, speak, or listen – i will do so in a sexual manner, however subtle, and with confidence and pride hoping other females around me will feel my projection upon them, that my performance is found admirable, that they would seek to emulate me without any of their insecurities or self-conscious thoughts holding them back. I want to set the best example of proper female behavior – especially if Master or someone He has chosen is nearby to examine and monitor it. However, my goal must be to behave as naturally and freely as is possible as if without any effort on my part.

98. When standing still i shall do so with my feet and legs together, my hands held behind my back and my head bowed down. i will remain silent in the way Master has taught me.

99. If required: the plug Master has provided me must be inserted deeply into my pussy before arriving at my Master’s house. Failure to do so and i shall feel the punishment He will give upon my pussy as i keep the lips of it pulled apart – for the plug was intended to provide me pleasure.

100. i hope Master will choose to use my tongue as His towel after His shower so i may be able to worship His body.

101. Until Master has chosen it is time for me to wear a more permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, i shall proudly wear His temporary mark of ownership upon me wherever He chooses to place it.

102. When sitting i shall sit up straight with my legs together and my palms down on the top of my thighs.

103. i will not speak to others without my Master’s permission except to say to them that they will have to speak to my Master first. This is especially important at play parties.

104. i shall learn to the endure the whippings Master gives me by using the technique of saying ‘ YES ‘ through each of His strike brought down upon my flesh.

105. i shall gladly make my body available to my Master to be used as furniture: my body positioned to decorate a room or a garden, a footstool to rest his weary feet and legs upon, my backside as a His table to eat off of, the cleavage of my breasts to hold his wine glass, my palms to be used to hold a plate of His food, or my hands to hold a book open for Him to read or a lamp to for Him to see.

106. Privacy is a privilege – even to have it when i need to use the bathroom. i must ask for it and accept my Master’s decision even when i am denied of it.

107. As a helper slave i shall assist my Master in the setting of a scene or in the training and use of other female slaves.

108. As a preparer slave i shall ready other female slaves for my Masters use, harden His cock for Him, or harden the cocks of others He allows me to harden.

109. As a cleaner slave i shall use my tongue to clean the cum of my Master from the body of a female slave He has put it upon, my cunt to suck for it from a female slave’s pussy my Master has used for His pleasure, or to clean the cocks i am allowed to clean that have been pulled out of the pussies of other slaves. For as a cleaner slave i am to lick up what semen i can find.

110. As a provider slave i shall offer parts of my body to those selected by my Master for their pleasure. i will also offer myself to those who wish to use me for a demonstration or to experiment on.

111. As a domestic slave i shall perform chores about my Master’s house, and those of others He allows, acting in a sexual and enticing manner in all that i do.

112. As a sex slave i shall incorporate a sexual attitude and hunger in everything i do, being eager to sexually perform at the best of my abilities for my Master and for those whom He allows to use me. my hunger must be such that i would feel as if i could never be satiated until Master allows me to be.

113. The beginning and the ending of a day shall always be with a full body whipping and a cockfeeding to remind me of my place or to provide myself to my Master for His first and last use.

114. When i have been given permission to play with myself i shall do so in the following manner: working my clit almost to an orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, then working it again to almost at orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, and then finally working it again to a full orgasm. Then and only then shall i enjoy an orgasm on my own. Should i cum before the third tier – i will tell my Master so i may be punished. i will play with myself in this manner even in His presence.

115. Should Master ever wish to cage me for display, i will gladly crawl into it and proudly position myself in it in ways He finds pleasing, in solitude and quiet, so that if He chooses, others may delight in what they see without any interruption from me, seeing that i am well-behaved and humbled that i am Master’s property and slave. i can only hope that Master would never put me into a cage to confine me for my misbehavior, that i could never come that close to displease Him so much that i would have to suffer such humiliation, begging with my tears and my cries for his forgiveness, for i want the cage to be my safe haven from my fears, a place i can crawl into of my own free will, locked into it because Master granted my request to be locked in it.

116. i am free to leave my Master at any time without the fear of permanently losing Him as my Master.

117. At the beginning of my relationship with my Master i shall present to Him three names for Him to decide upon as to which one will be my slave name. i know that He does not have to choose any of them and that He can choose one of His own for me to be known by. Thereafter, when someone asks who i am i can respond by introducing myself in the following manner: ” i am slave [slavename], property of Master John.”

118. i will periodically examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. i will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where i feel uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction i should take, how i should behave, or how i can behave in a manner that is different than how i have been behaving in the past.

119. i want to suffer for my Master in ways that please Him and that are safe for me to do so.

120. i will not be passive in serving my Master. i will aggressively participate in my exchange with Him.

121. If i am sent to another Master to serve – i will serve that Master well, as if He were my Master, for i want my Master to receive a good report after i have been returned to Him.

122. Should Master wish for my breasts to be suckled by a female slave of His choice or that legal and safe drugs be used to induce the production of milk in my breasts, i will do my best to keep my milk up so that He and others may feed from me, that my breasts will be full, tight and extra sensitive as much as possible, for however long Master wants my breasts to produce milk for Him. Likewise, i will assist in the inducement of milk production from the breasts of any female slave Master has chosen for me.

123. i will not date others or form a relationship with others without permission and approval from my Master. If i should have sex with others i will have it safely and will always tell my Master in detail what i have done so that no part of me is a secret and that i am laid bare for his inspection and approval.

124. The money i earn, should i be allowed a career, or put to work, where i am paid for my responsibilities, is mine to keep. However, i must ask my Master how i should spend or save it. i may present ways to Him for His approval. i will accept the responsibilities He gives me in the handling of my finances. It is important to my Master that i learn to handle money wisely so, if needed, i can reach my goals or be ready for any emergency where finances may be required for resolution.

125. If i am wearing a dress or skirt and no panties and i am going to sit down – i must sit on my bare skin – and do so gracefully whether i am in private or in public. If i feel that i am not as clean as i should be, i will tell my Master, so that He can decide what should be done.

126. When i wear nylons i will wear them only with garters and high heels. i will never wear panty hose – such items of clothing shall be thrown out.

127. When i am in the presence of my Master and i am free to move about i will do so in seductive and enticing ways.

128. i will give to Master my body, mind and spirit, in faith of His knowledge of the skills, safety and first aid measures necessary to put me through painfully ecstatic and euphoric edgeplay: the use of needles and pins to pierce my flesh; the use of scoring tools to make drawings upon my body or to selectively and carefully cut my skin to make me bleed with little or no scarring; aromatherapy where He will throw me into higher states of consciousness with the scents of oils and incense; blood and breath control to bring me to the edge of my survival to feel the battle for my self-preservation; guns and knifeplay to intensify my awareness of my existence racing parallel with my threatened drive to live; and other such uses. Through these activities i shall learn to ride on the top edge of my fears and the bottom edge of my perception of utter terror – for it is there i shall come to know my greatest fear of all: that i will want to go there again and again.

The end.
by Johnathan Kay
(Warning: This is not sex positive. It’s proudly privileged.)
http://128rulesguy.blogspot.com/2011/07/128-rules-for-female-slave.html?zx=1d02ee047909b312

Predators Are Alive And Well

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, control, Dominant and Submissive, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, relationships, Slave, Submission, submissive on February 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Predators come in many faces , Predators are all around us , Predators are people we know and don’t know and from time to time we get a little surprise.

I never mention any names unless I do not like you and to tell you the truth there are very few who I call my friend.

While we should not judge anyone for their actions mainly when it comes to the lifestyle , because as we know each relationship is different.

Predators come in all sizes , shapes colors , male and female. The female I call the black widow, the leech , the succubus. These women seek out men who they think are weak. While it may be true some men may not be week , but maybe experiencing a vulnerable moment in life. These women will drain a Texas oil well  and walk away like nothing happened, and move on to the next victim….. These women very seldom give up the pussy and only do so if they feel they are losing control.

At a younger age I was played a few times until I figured out the game, then I was like wow here we go, lets get ready to rumble…. Interesting mind fucking the mind fucker.

The male predator they see submission as a weakness , they prey on those who are having problems in their life, those who are a emotional mind wreck. These guys pretend to give a fuck while undressing you with their eyes, or wondering how well you suck cock or if you take it up the ass. These guys want the slut but not the responsibility.

In these situations you find yourself doing things you would not normally do. Perform on webcam , or send nude pictures daily, phone sex, wearing slutty clothes in public. You feel awkward but you go along with it because you believe this is the way.

So the predators are not just men there are some wicked women lurking , looking for their next dollar.

I get emails all the time from women who are caught up with these so called married Doms who are cheating on their wives. Well this is no Dom because he cannot even run his own house. What he is looking for is a cock sucker or someone who will take it up the ass. These men see those who are submissive as being weak and worthless, and you spend more time waiting on an email or a text than you actually spend with him, and when you do get a little time your sucking dick.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting after that your a secret and nothing more. You hear promises that things will get better and how he plans on leaving his wife. I would hope you would not believe that story…

Your training consist of sucking cock being on your back , being humiliated on a regular basis, and taking pain you really have no interest in.

Then the guy who spends his life thinking with his dick. Arianna laughs when she is on Fetlife and sees a Dom and his Avatar is his cock because she knows this is the way he is, his dick runs his life.

On Fetlife if you look to the left at the interest this will tell you a lot about the individual. You can take a peak into his mind and see exactly what he is looking for in a relationship.

These are the guys who also play a game , on the hunt for pussy and head and nothing more. I know a Dom near me who goes through several women a month, playing on their submission.

The abuse often it can start and the submissive is clueless and does not see it until it is to late.

While at a function a couple drove a couple of hours to meet Arianna and I. We were excited to see her and her new Dom, but as we were talking he was saying how he was not going to allow her to go to munchs , or submissive round table’s  as he does not attend local meetings mainly because he is not welcome. This is where the isolation starts , but shortly after leaving she sent Arianna a text saying she was not going to stay with the Dom.

The isolation begins to keep you from other people in the lifestyle , this is so your Dom is the only one you are getting information from. You give all of your passwords to him as well so he can monitor your every move.

Then comes the name calling telling you how stupid you are, how worthless you are and you were nothing before you met him….

This is to humiliate you but it is meant to eat away at your self esteem , to make you feel lower, and take away any self confidence you may of had. This moves you into a position where you feel all alone, now your at his beck and call , most of the time waiting hours days or even weeks before hearing from him.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting , unless your dumb enough to just show up at his place or a motel not knowing anything about him.

When you do see him you spend about 5 minutes talking and the rest of the time sucking dick.

If your not able to think straight or rational you have no business looking for a relationship in the lifestyle.

At times I get emails asking for advice and when it is not what they want to hear I never hear back from them , go figure.

The mistakes you make are decisions you make , and you know from the start what your thinking… You also know from the start if things are not right…

It is not easy trying to weed through the fakes but you can tell if someone is truly interested in you. You can tell if someone wants to get to know you as a person.

 

 

Sex and Submission

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @ http://sirfrancobolli.org/  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….

Beltcuffs

 

Vile

 

 

 

Do You Just Please , What About The Kink

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Daddy Dom, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets face it we are living the dream, the lifestyle allows us to be free , it allows us to be who and what we are.

When your Dominant enjoys things you do not , do you do them anyway just to please, or does it please you knowing you have made him happy ?

Do you follow rules , protocols just to please or do you get satisfaction out of knowing you have done well ?

Do you dress as your told , does it make you happy your owner is pleased ?

The list can actually go on and on and the longer we are together the longer the list can get.

Are you completely honest prior to entering a relationship when it comes to your needs , or do you just go with the flow ?

If you meet someone and the need is Anal , and that is something your against would you follow through just to please or would you keep that as a hard limit and risk the relationship?

The pain side of things do you except pain just to please or do you take it because you truly enjoy it ? Are you in fear of losing the relationship if you do not play along ?

Is your Dominant available 24/7 if not why ? This is something that is very important not only for support , but your communication , and training, your Dominant being available 24/7 is your right.

Your kink may not be your Doms , or your Doms kink may not be yours, are you going to give in and do things you do not like.

where do you draw the lines when it comes to your limits or are they really limits? Are your limits just set in your mind ? Have you tried what you call your limits ? Many times once in a long term relationship what were your limits most of the time become no limits ?

How deep is your submission ? Is it bedroom only ? Is it when your Dominant is around ? Is it 24/7 ? Maybe you live in a TPE Total Power Exchange ? Are you a submissive , a Baby Girl , a Pet , A slave?

How serious are you about your submission ? Is serving someone a true need for you ? Will giving up control put you in the place you need to be?

All of the above are questions you need to ask yourself , and knowing exactly  what your needs are will help you be in a better place..

Vile