Archive for the BDSM Session Category

My Take On Online BDSM Relationship

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Session, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, endorphin's, http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Online Collar, Online Dominanrt, Protocol, Protocols, psychiatrist, relationships, Rules, session, slave, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, submit with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I just read an excellent post from… http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/

While I understood much of it there were a few things that were not covered so I wanted to touch base on somethings.

I myself have never been in a online relationship , I have tried and it does nothing for me.
I am strictly hands on and I have never had the desire to have an M’s relationship via the internet.

I have never been a picture collector as well . I myself find it very degrading and most will send pictures just to please , okay that is off topic.

While I can see how one a submissive or slave could reach that endorphin release at that moment and time , I would think that Sub-Drop would begin right after the laptop is powered off.

While I do believe Sub-Drop can be controlled it would not be able to be controlled if you were 500 miles away.

Sub-Drop requires a great deal of emotional understanding , communication and being physical , I mean as far as holding.
Communication is huge right after play or having a session, because you the Dominant wants to pick their brain. How do you feel right now ? What are your thoughts right now ? What were your thoughts during play? How were you feeling ? It just goes on and on.
To be online and then having to power off until the next session, I would imagine it would be pretty lonely.

While I can see the high and the thrill of remaining anonymous while sitting at your keyboard , I can see the downs as well as some dangers.

Even for a new comer there are things that have to be considered. Someones health , how stable are they? Are they taking any medications? do they suffer any type of depression? Does their depression go deeper maybe bipolar. Maybe they hurt themselves when alone or depressed.

I do know of many who have met online and while some have turned out good most have failed.

I have also found many online Dominants are single , and there has to be a reason. Maybe online is a bit easier, there is not as much responsibility when having an online relationship, you do not have the communication needs online like you do in a physical relationship. Then there is a lack of commitment , not having to commit causes less stress.

If one relationship does not work out then I see the advantage of moving on to another and being able to rather quickly.

Being able to remain anonymous means you can be who you want, but so can the submissive, and unless you know their mental state someone could get hurt.
I do know someone will not open up about something so personal online and what happens with the laptop fires up could not have a good turn out.

I have never figured out how you can own someone and just be online. I have never figured out, when people speak of an online collar.

You never really have any control. The only control you have is the control your being told you have. You have no structure or stability with in the relationship. You cannot enforce rules on any level, you are having to go by what your being told.

I do know most online relationships turn sexual in a very short amount of time, and the Dominant is soon demanding pictures and videos. That I never understood since that is not what we are suppose to be about.

Although as Dominants we should never be rescuers , we are here to help. In many cases although we do not have a PHD we are at times a psychiatrist , we are a best friend , we give advice , we communicate , and we offer options based on our experience.

We provide the stability a sub or slave needs in their life, and in a sense we make everything alright. We take away the deep pain and the feeling of not being able to feel.

I have a saying I have used for many years. Come and Let me hold you so I can feel your pain , and today I believe that statement to be true you can feel someones hurt, you can feel someones needs but more so you can feel love.

Like Ive said I have never had an online relationship and I am 51 years old. Ive never wanted an online relationship, again because I am hands on…

While I do believe you can learn a lot online, a submissive or slave can never lern, what it is like to be in a physical relationship.

I found a lot of good from the post ……

http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/

I just wanted to add my side..

brad

Much Love Vile

My Blog Is About Kink, Safety and the Love Of My Life Arianna.

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Hypnosis, BDSM Session, Being fucked, being used, blog, Bondage, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Christians, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Face Fucking, Facial Abuse, Foot Worship, Hypnosis, Living Poly, Living Triad, married, Married Dominant, Married submissive, Master, Master And Slave, Mind Fuck, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, rimming, Security, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, Trust, Verbal abuse on March 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is hard to believe I have reached over 800 post. I truly enjoy blogging it is my own little world. A place I can come to and be myself, be who and what I am. Not that I hide anything out in the vanilla world because I do not, but here I am truly me.

My 800 or so post are mainly about the BDSM lifestyle, safety, what slaves and submissive’s need and should look out for when looking for a new Dominant, Master or Daddy.  The do’s and the Dont’s what to look out for and the questions you need to ask.

To live in a Broken home is not the life you want, to be abused is not the life you want, to be lied to is not the life you want.

You have to remember everything I tell you is from a mans point of view, many of you may not agree with me, I would not expect everyone to agree with me. I can say this I speak the truth. I have been the user, I have been the abuser. I have used just for my pleasure, and tossed to the side. In the past I have fucked women and could not even tell you their name the next morning. I have fucked and when finished they were told to get the fuck out. I have giving out collars on the first meet. What you have to remember the collar is a powerful tool, it can be a tool of deception. It can be used to just to use you, and this has happened to many of you.

800 post almost 200.000 visitors, and over 4000 comments, and a few friends so things are not to bad. People who read my blog are from all over the world. The middle East, the US, Asia , Africa, the UK , I will post the different countries tomorrow the numbers are astonishing

There are many who visit and do not comment, I am assuming that since most who follow me are women, it is the same with the readers. Most wish to remain anonymous and just read my thoughts, and my opinions, and that is fine.

There are those I am sure who read who only wish of such a life, or maybe there are those who cannot believe that there is even such a life. There are those who want to fully submit, but cannot communicate with their partner.

There are things from my early years I do not wish to share. There are things I am not proud of, and as I look back there are things I would not of done.

I can say this and I say this with great truth, I have never hurt anyone physically , I have always honored a safe word and I have never done anything that was not asked for, or that was not communicated

So in my kinky world I come down hard on married men, these are men who cannot run their house. Their wife will not take it up the ass so they find someone who will. They find someone they can use.

I point out the fake Doms, Masters and Daddy’s who want to be a leader so bad but they do not have a clue because again they do not know how to run their home, or they see submission as a weakness.

I have talked about Domestic Discipline and how I believe there is abuse within the home, not all but for the most. I say this because I have talked and chatted with women who live in a DD home, this is not just something I pulled out of my ass.

I have talked about the dangers of impact play, and how you can get hurt. I have blogged about where it is okay to hit and where not to. You can get hurt.

I have blogged about bondage, and yes you can get hurt if not properly tied. You can damage muscles and tendons if you do not know what your doing.

I have blogged about how communication is a must during play, and the need to know what is going through their minds.

I have blogged about the power of mind fucks, and how it can benefit the relationship, or even carry you to the point of sub-space. A good mind fuck can be very erotic.

I have blogged about a topic I truly enjoy, Sexually Broken. Being tied up to the point you cannot move, and being used in every hole. Moving from the mouth to the pussy, then to the ass. I call it three hole golf.

I have talked about how I run my house, my rules, my protocols. My love for total control, and having the ability to control my property, my own. Living with and being married to my wife, my slave and my property.

I have blogged a great deal about hypnosis and the benefits it could have in a relationship, and this is a subject I am still pursuing. We have invited someone over to teach, only to find out he thought he was going to get some pussy. No one fucks my slave but me.

I have blogged about my love for Anal sex, and how I believe it is the most submissive act a woman can take part in. You are invading the most private part of a female body.

I have blogged about my love for face fucking, this falls under the control factor. Most of the time when I am getting head I don’t even want to cum , it just feels so fucking good, I want it to last for ever. When I do want to cum. I grab a hand full of hair and I control the rhythm.

I have blogged about the love of my life, Arianna, my first breath when I wake and my last thought before I fall a sleep. My universe, my world. She is truly my drive in life.

Our relationship is micromanaged, I invest a great deal of time making sure our relationship runs smoothly. Being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 job it is 24/7 365. Although I do put a great deal of time and effort into our relationship, the rewards I receive come back 100 times over.

I have blogged about our new journey into the world of poly. How I believe it would benefit Arianna. As many of you have noticed, I have not said anything about how such a relationship would benefit me. That is because I am not thinking about me.

Then after a great deal of thought I moved to the idea of a Triad, moving away from the poly idea, because most who are poly are not loyal to just a home, or two.

If you have noticed the subject of sex within a triad has not come up, mainly because that is not my train of thought. Because my main focus is on Arianna, but here is my thoughts. In time with in a Triad sex would come up. My way of thinking would be to find someone who was not open to things that Arianna is. Such as Anal sex, or rimming, or a foot fetish like Arianna has.  These would be things exclusive to Arianna. She would be the only one who could offer these things.

I am not looking for another Slave, we are looking for a submissive, someone to be Arianna’s best friend, to do things with. She wants to take art classes, while I have no interest I would go and take part in. Events they have downtown on the weekends, to help out around the home. While I do help when I am off, it would be nice to have someone around to help.

So my train of thought has nothing to do with the sexual aspect of how we would live with a third. If you are wanting to bring someone into your home with the thought of your getting more pussy, it will never work.

I believe if you do bring a third in , there are things that should be kept exclusive to Arianna. This is what separates the two relationships, it separates the Slave and Submissive.

My standards are very high, if you have seen Arianna or read her blog you would know this, and I refuse to lower them.

We are still in the talking stages trying to piece things together.  I can say this in the end Arianna has the final say, and I will go with what ever she says.

A D’s home an M’s home if ran correctly and the Dom or Master follows through with his word, can be a very loving home, a well structured home.

The Dominant or Master not only have to implement but he has to follow through. He must remain consistent and remain consistent on a hourly basis, a daily and weekly basis. Then and only then will the home grow.

It has been almost two years since the Kinky World Of Vile was born, and I shall continue for sometime. I will continue to give advice, talk about abuse, and most of all My life with the love of my life Arianna.

If you invade my home I will shoot you, and in the end I would take a bullet for Arianna, I am her sole protector. If she needed a heart to survive she has one right here, because I would give without question

This is the kind of home and love I want everybody to experience. I can tell you when I hold Arianna I can feel our souls embracing , I can feel the warmth, most of all I can feel the love.

Submission is the greatest gift of all do not abuse what is giving.

Much Love to all and those around the world.

Image Submission is the gift that will keep on giving.

Vile

Sexually Broken II

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, bleeding, blindfold, blow job, Bondage, Collar, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominants, extreme, Face Fucking, Fear, fucking, Gagged, Humiliation, masochist, Master, oral sex, Rape, Respect, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, sexual assault, Sexually Broken, skull fucking, slave, submissive, sucking cock on December 18, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I learned about the term Sexually Broken on Sirius 102 about a month ago.Sexually Broken is an adult video series, but I did find the topic very interesting.

There is a huge warehouse full of Bondage Equipment and women are tied up, strapped to different equipment and just used. The sex gets so rough the actresses are giving safe words to use in case things get out of hand. they are tied in every position you could possibly think of and fucked in every hole.

Now I suppose you could use the term in a BDSM or S&M setting. Where the submissive or Slave is just used hard, used in every hole..Sometime ago I had Arianna tied almost into a little ball. I pulled her ass to the edge of the bed, she was cuffed tied, blindfolded, and gagged, ahhh ear plugs as well. While sliding in and out of her pussy, I could not help but to just stare at her ass. She has an ass to die for. So I pulled out of her pussy and right into her tight ass I went, and pumped until I came. So in a sense you could use the term sexually broken.

Now on the other side if what your having done to you is not consensual and it is forced, you could use the term sexually broken., or maybe even rape.

This is what can happen if you meet someone for the first time and you decide you have to prove your submissive and you agree to go to a motel, only having spoken to this Dom a hand full of times. Because once you are tied down, on the bed spread eagle, guess what ? It is to late to change your mind. Hence the word sexually broken, used, raped, abused.

In a consensual setting I do not think the word applies because both are willing to take part. The fact is most slaves love to be used. The more their owner uses them the more they feel they have pleased.

phoenixasubbie used the word skull fucking, that is a word I really do not care for, although I guess there is no difference in the term face fucking. I am going to guess she is somewhat new to the lifestyle as she stated she is still trying to figure a lot of things out.

Many find the lifestyle intriguing , many fantasize about BDSM, being a submissive, or deeper an owned Slave. Until you can experience it and I am not talking seeing someone a couple of times a month, I mean until you have lived it you will never know.

The idea is to be able to give up most of your control, or as a slave all of your control. So being in a 24/7 setting would give you the idea of what it is really like.

Safe words are put into place to keep you safe, to let your partner know when a line has been crossed or you are unsure about what is going on. At that point you stop and you should talk about what just happened. What was it you did not like, what happened to confuse you, or why it hurt. Maybe there is another avenue that can be taking. If your safe word is not respected then it is time for you to leave, thank you but no thank you. No questions asked just I am outta here.

One of Arianna’s friends met a Dom on line, they talked for a couple of weeks, they text each other and she finely agreed to meet him. They had dinner, went to a motel to start her training. Tied her up legs spread and he fucked her with this huge dildo, when he was done the bed was covered in blood. He told her to wash, get out he would call her when he wanted to use her again.

The same thing could happen to you or worse, you might not wake up the next morning, because you really did not know anything abut this dude. You took his word he was an experienced Dom.

I myself do not use safe words , and I told Arianna this up front and I will explain. During a session, communication is very important, vocal and visual. You can see when your almost at their breaking point. You can tell by their body movements, their eyes if not blindfolded. To this day I have never hurt Arianna, the truth is I have never hurt anyone. I have left bruises, marks and sometimes small cuts, but everything I did was wanted and consensual.

If a Dom tells you he can train you to take pain, he is fucking nuts. Either you enjoy pain like a Masochist, or you do not. No one can train you to enjoy pain. If your in a long term relationship you will find the more you trust, the more you bond grows there are some lines you will be willing to cross just to please, but again you cannot be trained to take pain. As a matter of fact I would be willing to debate the issue with another Dominant.

The Dom will say we take our time, we move slowly, and each session we increase the pain until you grow accustomed to pain. I do not buy that one bit, and I would hope you would not.

Sex between two people is what you have agreed on, the do’s and the dont’s , what is off limits and what is fair game. Your off limits should be respected, if not and you allow it, it will only continue.

When I began my search and I have said this before I had a list , it was a list I thought about several days. Once it was completed , this is what I needed and I would not bend. If someone did not like it then move on, because if you settle for less and I am not speaking just sexually, you will never be happy.

I myself I get what I want , when I want as far as sex we really have no limits, with the exception of the normal stuff, no blood, no scat, nothing broken, no perm marks.

If you truly care about someone why would you want to harm them? Why would you want to cause a breakdown or stress? Many do not take the time out to think about safety, they are thinking of the now, they are thinking how bad they want to be in a relationship, to wear a collar, to be owned.

So how long do you go before you let your new Dom fuck you, that is up to you. Thinking with a clear head may make you wait just a little instead of having something to prove. You the submissive has nothing to prove. The Dominant has everything to prove. Him fucking your mouth or ass is not proving anything, and fucking your mouth is not part of training.

Just Think

Image This could happen to you, and not willingly

Vile

Sub space Does Not Have To Equal Pain

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, Dominants, Ego, emotional, Emotions, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Hot Wax, Ice, inhibitions, masochist, Master, music, Pain, sadist, Safe, Sensory Deprivation, session, slave, sub-space, Submission, submissive on October 2, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sherri was a true Masochist in almost seven year that bitch did not cry one time, with the exception of us parting. I had never seen anything like it. A belt, a single tail whip, or with a flogger with each strike her eyes would just glaze over. I remember our first session, I did not have a clue to what was going to happen or what I was going to do. She knew I was fairly new to the lifestyle so I let her instruct me. When I left her house some five hours later, I was scared to death, that bitch was black and blue from the neck down. I had even broken skin open in some places and she would just run her fingers across the cuts, and just moan. At times she could not even speak, her eyes just staring off into space with each contact the whip would make.

In the beginning it was fun well with the exception of the first session. I would have a bad week and I could take all of my frustration out on her, and she enjoyed it. A couple of years passed and my side of the enjoyment was coming to an end, along with the pain and the much needed humiliation it was now a task, a task that had to be out done from the last. It was taking it’s toll on me.

I was not in love I had not been nor would I of ever been, in the seven years being together I never fucked her one time, she sucked a lot of dick, but I never banged her. To this day I am not sure why, I just did not have that connection or the want. Maybe I did not want to develop any feelings. The only thing I truly liked and enjoyed the word NO never came out of her mouth. The words I can’t never came out of her mouth. Today that is not so important to me, I suppose back then I had somewhat of an ego.

Subspace you must be able to get into the mind of the submissive, the same if you want a relationship with a submissive or slave the Dominant must be able to get into their mind. To be able to figure them out, know what they are thinking, you must know your partner inside out.

Subspace is not obtainable every time you play it may not happen every twenty times you play. Some say they are able to achieve subspace every session but I find that hard to believe, I am not saying it is not possible, I would think it would be hard. Subspace also depends on the submission you are playing with, if you fully have control, if the submissive has giving herself to you mind and body.

You can actually achieve subspace without even touching the submissive, the idea is during play to confuse the mind, a type of sensory deprivation , I have blogged about this before with just blindfolding, music ,incense and being bound.  I have been wanting to try this on Arianna but our work schedules are pretty full. As a matter of fact although we do play it is not near as often as I would like.

You tie your submissive up, blindfold her, you have two or three CD player , playing different music at a low volume, you lite two or three different incense, then comes the hot wax, and the ice cubes. The mind cannot possibly process everything that is going on. You have the submission, she is tied spread. She is blindfolded. At this point the submissive feels vulnerable, now adding everything else, not speaking just mostly watching, this is where it all begins.

It may not work the first session but it will. I am also not sure how it would work in a vanilla relationship I have never tried it. When one hits subspace you are confusing the mind, most of the time with pain, but pain does not have to play a part in order for them to hit subspace.  Some enjoy pain some get off on pain even the thought of it, then some do not. If they are not into pain or they cannot take it, you will do more damage than good. I have heard Doms say I can train you to take pain, that is a load of crap.

I have a huge surprise for Arianna this weekend.

Try it you might like it.

 

Vile

Aftercare And Being Proactive

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Depressed, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, erotic, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, No Inhibitions, Pain, Patience, pleasure, proactive aftercare, provocative, punish, relationships, Respect, Safe, session, slave, Spanking, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive on September 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Aftercare BDSM

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In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities.

BDSM experiences can be exhausting; and drain the participants of mental, emotional or physical energy. As a result, one or all participants may require emotional support, comfort, reassurance, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he or she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization. Aftercare also may include a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the dominant and the submissive.

Some participants may wish to be left alone or have other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from no longer feeling safe in the current environment or situation.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners. Occasionally, more “vanilla” sexual activities such as intercourse or oral sex following an intense scene may also be considered as part of aftercare.

It is often thought in a submission/dominant relationship, only the submissive requires aftercare following BDSM activities. However, a dominant may require less, just as much, or more aftercare depending on the scene, person, experience level, and other factors. The role of submissive or dominant is unrelated to the amount of aftercare someone needs and should not be thought of as a metric in this regard.

In long distance relationships, a potentially useful practice when engaged in remote BDSM activities is to facilitate aftercare by the exchange of emotionally significant items which can be clung to for reassurance, though success of this depends on both parties’ level of emotional investment in the relationship.

If you sat down and wrote a list about your needs while in a M’s or D’s relationship Aftercare should be the first at number one, not two or three or five or six, number one. Here in a few I will explain my proactive aftercare.

You start playing or maybe you call it a session, maybe your submissive or slave is into hard impact play. Maybe you the Dom enjoys getting rough, but the submissive is really not into the rough play but goes along with to please. If your anything like me my play time can last for an hour or more.

During this time the sub is giving all they have, physically , and mentally, as well as emotionally. We take what is giving and then more. We want satisfaction out of our play time. Sometimes we go as far as pushing limits, just to see how far we can take our property. If we have pushed or maxed a limit we the Dominant gains a high, a rush, the adrenaline starts to flow. I have gotten so excited I have had to take a break so I could gather my thoughts, catch my breath, and the submissive is just laying there waiting not knowing what is on the Dominants mind, or how much longer the session is going to go on for.

After play this is when the first of aftercare kicks in, communication should be the first, asking and digging for questions. We want to know where they are at right now, what their thoughts are, how they are feeling. Talk about any limits that were pushed.  This is very important, we need to know if we pushed to far, what if the submissive did not like something it should be talked about, maybe there is another avenue we can take to make that part of the session different.  Many will play and give even if they are getting nothing out of it, this is done just to please.

Now on the other side at times we ignore aftercare, let me explain. I have met those who are submissive and Slaves who wanted to be broken. I have been asked a couple of times, but I have declined both times. First of all I did not want that type of responsibility. I did not want to be responsible for bring them down and then bringing back up. I am not sure why someone would need such a thing, but we all have our needs, Breaking someone is just not my thing. Breaking a Slave takes time, I have seen it done and it is not pretty, nor did I take part. To each their own we all have different needs within the lifestyle, so I do not judge anyone for their actions. The breaking of a Slave should only be considered if the two are entering a long term relationship, and the Slave must be sure of this. If it is just short term the after effects could be devastating.

We should hold while in the aftercare mode, we should praise, speak very highly of. We should cover every part of the scene, being sure to not miss anything. Okay I am guilty of not going into the full aftercare mode at times, but when it does come to aftercare I am proactive.

Constant praise on a daily basis. Many spend way to much time waiting on theirs to break a rule, or make a mistake, so they can correct or punish. Many Doms get off on just punishing. Degrading, humiliation. More so the new ones who have entered the lifestyle. Reading books, or looking at pictures, many for what ever reason cannot get past the pictures.

After a session or play we need to ask questions, we want to know where there thoughts are. What did they like? What did they not like? Do they want to try something different? We should hold and caress, make the two feel as one.

Proactive aftercare constant praising , when something is done comment about it.  The idea is to build up, make one feel confident. We want to build up their self esteem if needed and in most cases it is needed. This is what I mean by being proactive.

If aftercare is not performed sub drop occurs and despite what most think I do believe sub drop can be prevented with the practice of aftercare. Sub drop occurs mostly when the two do not live together, and the submissive is left alone. Getting together while in a long distance relationship every now and then, sub drop will happen.

The proper aftercare is very important we being different aftercare will vary from submissive to submissive. Some after play want to be left alone for a period of time, giving them time to gather their thoughts and feelings, while some do not want any aftercare at all. I do believe sub drop can be prevented despite what others think.

You the submissive if you feel this area is being neglected speak up, you have this right to insure you are being taking care of, you have the right to express your needs.

I am telling you from experience, if aftercare is giving and the proper amount, what use to be limits will soon start to fade away, what use to be inhibitions will soon begin to fade away. The more we as Dominants care and we show we care the more the submissive will want to give.

Aftercare is a must.

Image

Vile

Sub-Space

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bondage, butt plug, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Dominants, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Gagged, Hot Wax, session, slave, Spanking, sub-space, Submission, submissive on September 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The psychological state of the submissive partner in a BDSM scene is sometimes described as subspace or sub space.

The term is unrelated to the mathematical term subspace.

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses such as extended adrenaline surges that can cause exhaustion. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience.

Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence.

Many submissives require aftercare.

Have you ever been high, I am not talking about getting drunk. The word high , the numbing feeling, you were there but you were not there.

Sub-space is reached at times during heavy play, long sessions, and intense. Submissives or slaves are able to reach sub-space at times if they are with a partner they trust. Even with trust though sub-space is not obtainable every time.

Play most of the time is a pure mind-fuck. The not knowing, the guessing. Lets face it, if your going to play you are not going to go over every detail before play, what fun would that be?

The play the mind fuck, keeping them guessing, the not knowing. This type of play is fun and can be very intense. While during play the Dominant should stay in vocal contact at all times to insure you are not blowing by any limits, although you are keeping them guessing safety should be your first concern.

So you have your pet tied to the bed, spread eagle, cuffed, blindfolded, gagged, they have no idea what you are about to do, you have taking away one of their main senses their sight. They have lost the ability to move or speak, their mind is racing.

They feel your hand lightly touching them, your touching where ever you want, their mind begins to wonder their heart begins to race, it is the not knowing.

They feel the hot was being dripped onto their breast, their stomach, not knowing where the next drop will hit, their adrenaline begins to rush through their body, their endorphins are being released, they are starting to feel numb inside and out, they cannot control their thoughts or their fears. Fear is a natural feeling, fear is the unknowing. As you insert a vibrator and turn it on, maybe a butt plug at the same time, their mind is trying to register everything that is happening and it cannot.

One step further now the ear plugs, you have now taking away the ability to see and hear, they are gagged so they cannot speak.

When sub-space is reached it is a natural high, even if they were able to move, they would not be able to. They now feel every light touch be it just your fingers a feather, or a flogger. The wax you are dripping is felt one thousand times more.

I remember at one time Arianna went into sub-space, but she became giggly, her words were making no sense just off the wall stuff. She could not finish a sentence, or concentrate on any thoughts, she was just there.

Once sub-space has been reached the pain factor goes up as well, this is why it is very important to stay in verbal contact while playing.Before if the submissive was not able to take any pain, once reached the pain table has gone way up.

Still while in sub-space you could even untie and they would still not be able to move, in their mind and thoughts they are moving but there is no control, the limbs feel very heavy.

During sub-space if you should choose to have sex and the submissive reaches an orgasm it will truly blow their mind, all this adrenaline, and endorphins has to go someplace.

Yes sub-space can be very intense and fun. The main thing to remember is as the Dominant do not be disappointed is sub-space is not reached every time during play, it is not going to happen. Just play and have fun, if it happens run with it, I guarantee it will bring both of you closer and closer. Trust is very important, once you have that trust you have the world in your hands.

 

Vile

Pain Can Be Pleasure

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, erotic, extreme, Fake Dominants, Fetish, Humiliation, Local events, masochist, Master, Pain, Pain Slut, pleasure, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, slave, submissive on August 15, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

A couple of years back, I had called into MPR public radio, and I was disputing the theory that most cutters had a drug problem. This is the category they put people in, well she is a cutter so she must have a drug problem. That statement is so far from the truth. Parents want to accuse because they do not want to take the blame, it could not be them, they could not be the root of the problem.

Cutting somewhat like a masochist is a way to release pain, maybe stress, it gives one a high, a feeling of satisfaction, takes them to another world for that moment.

Okay Cutters tend to be different, kinda shy, stand offish , they really do not connect well with others, very few friends, and the friends they do have are the ones who understand them.

So most are forced into counseling , even rehab, because they have to be on drugs. Over the years I have learned how to spot a cutter, just as I am able to spot a submissive while out in public.

Being spanked hard, or cutting releases endorphin’s , a rush through the body kinda like when you get goose bumps. So there is pain but there is no pain if that makes sense. You feel the first blow or the first cut, then it is a total rush.

Okay so it is never the parents fault, we all have to blame someone else it could not be our fault. The fact is most do not want to take personal responsibility for their own actions, it is much easier to blame someone else.

So it could not be the alcoholic parents who fight every night, or not even drinking just fighting. It could not be the fact that there is no communication, or the parents do not take an interest in what their child is doing, or it could not be the fact that their child likes to dress different, and the parents do not except them for who they are.

Okay so let go up in age, Bea was a cutter when I first met her, being a cutter did not allow her to wear short sleeve shirts while out in public, nor could she wear shorts because of the marks on her thighs.

I remember the first time I saw the cuts I felt this deep pain, I felt a very deep sorrow, I could not even begin to imagine how she felt.  I did catch her a few times but the first couple of times I said nothing.

After being in a stress free environment for a while and someone who was taking an interest in their likes the cutting came to a stop.

The feel of a belt across the back, the sting, I would see sherris eyes get all glassy, she would bite her bottom lip, and I could see this intense pleasure in her eyes, this was a release for her, it took all the pain away for that moment in time. Our sessions would last for hours, and when I left she was fast a sleep, maybe not being able to sleep for days.

I believe Masochist are much the same way, although I could be wrong. I believe Masochist for the most carry a very deep pain within, and each session is like a drug, but the prescription never runs out. The endorphins take over the whole body, and most of the time one just goes completely limp, or you could call it sub-space, but in most cases no matter if aftercare is giving they will tend to experience sub-drop. Under normal circumstances I believe sub-drop can be prevented due to aftercare and being proactive when it comes to aftercare. Aftercare should not be used just during session, aftercare can be provided just from holding and talking, general conversation, paying attention to ones needs.

Pain can be bad in the wrong hands, you get a new Dom that has no clue to what he is doing, or the other who just does not give a Fuck. Both scenarios could turn out bad if not fatal. I have seen many get hurt physically, then when it hits what a dumb move you have made the mental kicks in.

Although it took me sometime to realize that not all women were not masochist, I still respected their limits. Respecting limits if not in a relationship is something many new Doms or fake Doms have no problem looking over and could really give a flying fuck, your a one night stand.

Those who are not into pain, well that is the way your body is written. If someone says I can teach you how to take pain, he is a fucking ass. No one on earth can teach you to take pain, I have been down that road it does not and will not work. If anyone says anything different run as fast as you can.

If you want to feel something erotic and not painful, try the violet wand, turned on low can rock your world. Turned on high well that is a different story.  Don’t ever buy the complete kit you can spend upwards towards 1200 dollars or more. If you look on Ebay you can find single ones with one attachment for about 35.00 dollars and you can buy attachments at a later time. Beware of the Chinese wands they tend to over heat and burn up.

If your a Dom looking for a pain slut, then look for one, do not take your aggressions out on someone who is not willing. If your a sadist talk to the submissive before starting any type of play.

Just my thoughts much Love to everyone.

 

Vile