Archive for the BDSM Slave Category

BDSM And Discipline

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, consequences, Consistency, controlling, Discipline, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Ego, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, training your slave, Training your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….

My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a  physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.

Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?

Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened.  taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.

If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.

I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.

A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.

Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.

I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.

The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.

I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.

Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.

Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.

Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.

Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.

As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.

Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, submissive, Uncategorized, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on November 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Image

Vile

Training Is On Going

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You read you hear the word Training on a regular basis. You hear how some have been trained , you hear about those who want to be trained and why they want to be trained.

I have found over the years even though I had a mentor , I had some training I had to go through , more of a self training , things I knew I had to make improvements and different areas ..

At one time I had a very bad temper , it took me years to get it under control, it took me years to learn how to channel anger into positive thoughts. This was a must after all if I could not control myself how was I going to control someone else?

The first thing a Dominant will tell you is he is in full control, then comes the screaming and yelling calling you a stupid bitch, or at times even getting physical.

At times I have to make changes to Arianna’s daily activities , maybe adjust a rule a protocol , I change something up. I may see an area that needs improvement. I make the change many times without even saying anything, or her even knowing, that is how well I know her.

Just as a submissive’s or Slaves training is ongoing our role as a Dominant or Master is ongoing as well. I know on a daily basis there is something I learn, I want to gain more knowledge be it about life in general or about the lifestyle.

There are three major downfalls when it comes to any relationship, the first being communicating, second Trust and third anger issues, and for anyone to Master all three is nearly impossible.

Past relationships can cause your current relationship to crash and burn, if you bring either of these three with you. Being able to freely communicate is so important, the Dominant must allow theirs to openly communicate about anything without fear of retribution, if you cannot then maybe you need to rethink your current relationship.

There are those who crash and burn their relationship on purpose, I have a friend who has told me several she will purposely sabotage the relationship, just because things are going to good… I suppose this stems from past relationships that included abuse.

If I cannot control myself , if I cannot control my emotions , if I cannot control my temper , then how can I control someone else ? If I cannot control my own life, if I cannot make the correct decisions , if I cannot show respect , if I cannot be truthful , if I cannot be honest ? Then how can I expect someone to submit to me ?

The tables turn when it comes to the submissive or slave, you have to be upfront, you have to be able to communicate, you have to be honest , truthful, but most of all you have to want.

I would imagine or I know being Dominant or Submissive without knowing what or who we are can be pretty confusing. I knew early on I was different but until my early 20’s I never gave it much thought. I assumed every woman wanted to be tied up, spanked and fucked in all holes without asking. I saw women as an object to be used just for pleasure, and in some cases even a hobby.

Once you start being able to figure everything out most things begin to fall into place, then meeting people with the same interest. That was the time and point I started to grow , slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together..

What makes the lifestyle so awesome is we find our own place in life we need to be, it allows us to be who and what we are. It allows us to open up , communicate and share with others. I know for the longest I felt pretty lost not really having anyone to talk to, or sharing my thoughts with anyone.

Even dating It was hard to express my feelings and emotions when I did not even know what was going on inside my head, and there were not many woman who understood me.

What I have learned over the years is to try and understand others, while I may not agree we should take the time to learn when it comes to different kinks and fetishes. Today it seems we are to quick to judge others instead of trying to understand.

It was not until my early 40’s it hit me when thinking how training really hit someone , you actually change someones way of thinking, you change the way one acts, talks, walks and the way one dresses. You take things away and give as you see fit. We guide , we train , we give rules , we give the promise of being there , we communicate and yes at times we punish. This is a lot of responsibility , this is a huge task , and at times staying on task can become a task.

Over the years I made mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes and I made some over and over.  Something I never did though was blame someone else, I knew when things went south it was my fault, but by the time you catch the mistake it is to late to take control again, mainly because the sub as seen that side of you.

You can only train someone if they want , need and are serious, if the sub is just going through the steps you are wasting your time and neither of you are able to reach your goals. I always started out with small task to see what the frame of mind was. I was and did not intend to go through the motions just to get my kicks, my time was way to valuable..

What type of Dominant are you looking for, maybe a Daddy , a Top a Dominant a Master all of these are things you need to consider. If your a Baby Girl why would you enter a relationship with a Master ? If your a Bottom why would you enter a relationship with a Dominant ?

What makes you a Baby girl ? What makes you a submissive or a slave ? What makes you just a Kinkster ? The Dominant or Domme should ask the same questions , what role does one want to fall into, where is the best fit, how much responsibility or control do you want..

What do you want out of being trained ? What are your goals ? What are your needs ? Has the training process been explained to you ? What does the Dominant want out of your training ?

The question is , What Do You Want To Do With Your One And Only Life ?

viledesires62@aol.com

focused

Vile

 

 

Continuing Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, communication, consistent, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your ssubmissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Just as a job we tend to get comfortable and at some point and time we start to slack, we tend to do less, we start to believe we are not replaceable but the fact is we are.
The same goes for a relationship we get comfortable , we start expecting what we once valued as a gift, our partner just wanting to please. Last week I spoke about the Resetting of the relationship , mainly D’s and M’s but I suppose some vanilla could use the same thing..

I call it continuing Education and as we know things are changing daily, we change, our needs become different and at times more extreme. Right now again Arianna is exploring ways on how she can deepen her submission even more. While she thinks this would be added work to me that is not so, everything else is already implemented.

Something else I wanted to touch on we as Dominants or Masters we all march to the beat of a different drum. We all have our own way of doing things, we all have different visions , needs and wants.

While at a Munch Arianna and I sat next to a D’s couple who are pretty new to the lifestyle and that is what I told him, March to your own drum you have to be happy, find what fits you.

In the lifestyle we grow almost on a daily basis, our needs change, so it is up to the Dominant to step up to the plate and make changes.

So lets say the Dominant is in a happy place , but his submissive comes to him and says hey I think I would like to give up more control, or maybe add a few more rules or protocols.
It may be the Dominant does not want to add more to his plate , but he will also have to evaluate the needs of the submissive. Even though he may not want to take on more, our number one objective is to insure their needs are being met.. There has to be a time when we as Dominants have to look at a bigger playing field and give more even if we do not see the need..

Training is a type of Behavior modification and it takes time , it will not happen over night a week , or even a month. It will take the two a month to get everything worked out…

I run a very strict house , protocols , structure and believe it or not only a handful of rules. Last week Arianna was questioning her submission, stating she could not see her submission, at times she felt less submissive.

I put a plan together , the BDSM reset I spoke about a few weeks ago. I started taking things away. The first to go was the furniture, second she was giving a Dog bowl to eat out of not every night , but at a time I picked so she did not know until we were ready to eat.
I did however allow her 45 minutes a day on the couch after work, but there was a catch. She likes taking a nap in the afternoons after work, along with surfing the net on her phone and tablet.
She had 45 minutes on the couch but there had to be a choice, her phone, table or nap. She had to choose her time wisely..

Yesterday while she was laying in the floor she had a moment, as she sat on the floor she started thinking about her submission and she realized she had no down time at all, she was able to see not only her submission but her task, her protocols, her rules it seems with just a few days everything came to light.

While laying in bed talking she said you really know me, you knew the effect it would have on me, you knew how I would react, and she was correct.

Just a slight change in our daily life made Arianna open her eyes and she realized just how well she had it made.. It made her think and it only took a couple of days.

Training is an on going tool we as Dominants use to keep our house running smoothly…. Training on a daily basis keeps structure in the home.

We are all different , we all have different needs , what we all need to do , is while we may not understand others we should respect their lifestyle. In our world there is no wrong way, and just maybe if we try to understand those we don’t it may allow us to grow.

Something to think about, what type of training did you receive ? How did your training effect you ? How did your training change you ? Is your training consistent ? Do your rules benefit you ? Are you put first in your relationship? Do you have access to your Dominant 24/7 ? I feel these are all important…

train

Vile

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile