Archive for the BDSM Structure Category

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/

 

 

BDSM And Discipline

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, consequences, Consistency, controlling, Discipline, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Ego, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, training your slave, Training your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….

My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a  physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.

Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?

Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened.  taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.

If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.

I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.

A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.

Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.

I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.

The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.

I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.

Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.

Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.

Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.

Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.

As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.

Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..

The 128 Rules

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM Trust, commitment, communication, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, positive reinforcement, Slave, Submission, submissive, The 128 Rules, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

At one time I blasted the 128 rules , maybe because the author of the 128 and I were on a different page or so I thought.

I run a very strict home , I have strict protocols in place as well as rules that are followed to a T.

When I first read the 128 rules , I or my way of thinking the rules were just sexually based , and no structure , well this will be the first time you will hear me say I was wrong.

Okay there I was wrong.

While sitting in the living room I asked Leticia what she was doing , and she stated she was reading the 128 rules.

I kinda looked up and said really ? So tell me what you think about the 128 rules?

Arianna started explaining what the rules really meant was a lot of structure , and protocols, and if a Dominant or Master was able to stay consistent there would be a lot of good growth..

After listening to her side of the story and once I gave it some thought I agreed back tracking from my previous thoughts..

So I reached out to Johnathan Kay , the original Author and asked for permission to use his information in full and he agreed , of course giving credit which he deserves…

128 Rules for the female slave

by Johnathan Kay
(Warning: This is not sex positive. It’s proudly privileged.)

You can learn why I’m not sex positive here.
You can learn why I “Called Red on the Center for Sex Positive Culture” in Seattle here.
You can read my final review of the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle, WA here where I mention I was a member for 15 years. 

Please note the following:
“128 Rules for the female slave” and former “128 Basic slave Rules” are under copyright 1992 by Johnathan Kay. Email me at 128rules@gmail.com for permission to use any of it for any reason. This site is the official blog for the rules:  http://www.128rulesguy.blogspot.com. (use this credit after receiving my permission for use in your application)

Use at your own risk. I take no responsibility for what happens to you when you use the rules. Email me if you have any questions. Remember: First aid works for kinky injuries. So does common sense. Don’t be an idiot. Take precautions. You can do this.

Rules change when I feel like changing them. I’m the Master here…remember that. This blog is the official version….no numbers, no letters….just this blog. You’re reading the current version unless I’m updating it while you’re reading them.

I am “Master-JK” on Fetlife. 
Context

“128 Rules for the female slave” are written for het M/s (Male Master/female slave) relationships.  While it can be converted for other orientations – the focus here will be strictly for Male Dominants/Masters and female submissives/slaves. Those who convert it to fit other orientations must give credit to the blog here as stated above. 


Author’s History


Way back in my college years in the 70’s I had found some adult magazines that depicted either women being restrained in various positions or women as Mistresses (or Dominatrixes as they were also called) who topped people. I like them both. It struck a cord with me and seemed very natural. And through a bit of experimenting over the years with girlfriends whom I would dominate and switching into submission to serve professional Mistresses – I learned a whole lot and I wanted to know more. I read what I could find. I examined toys and how they were used. I wrote various journal entries, stories and scenarios of play and training.


And much later in the mid-80’s I had moved into Seattle and decided to go public, to crawl out of my very private life and go to a conference on bdsm. And wow did I learn so much more. There were people who did all this for real, taught classes, did demos, sold toys. And they were from all walks of life and all different sexual orientations which took some getting used to over the years. It was more than just Masters and slaves. There was all this terminology I had to learn. I found a group called C-Space that offered education that I tried to get to almost every week for more almost four years. And there were more conferences I attended to take classes, play and observe others playing and to buy toys that were being put on a little known group back then called the National Leather Association.


I placed personals in various papers and found submissive women on dating chat lines. I found a kind of freedom where I could be very explicit and more open about what I wanted and how I wanted it done. I attended local events and found a kind of family atmosphere to it all. I found others who needed this lifestyle.


I had started to train gals I met and later one of them asked if I would write all this stuff down that I was teaching her. And the rules document was born – first with 77 rules and later 128. 


While offering the rules to others in newsgroups a gal wrote me and asked if she could print it on her website “Enchantress’s Secret Garden” – found here in the wayback machine internet archive – this one dated in the 90’s (no longer active online),which I allowed back then, and where it spread like wildfire. 


Years later, I was contacted by an editor, Jurgen Boedt, of a magazine in Europe who wanted to print it in his black and white publication called “Secret Magazine” at which point I rewrote the document to include an intro and other parts because I felt readers who would get it in more than six countries would need a little more then just the rules. They would need some background,  some caution and some instructions of how to use the rules list. Secret Magazine spread the rules document over two issues – Issue 14 and 15


Through all this I started to join more groups in Seattle, Portland-OR, and Spokane-WA where I was a board member, Tri-Cities-WA and was playing up in Vancouver-BC. And after Beyond the Edge Cafe in Seattle closed after years of being an eating establishment with play spaces in the basement a new group opened and I became a member of SPCC where later I became a life member, still with only a two digit membership number, out of what has grown to nearly 14,000 members in 2011, in what became known as CSPC: Center for the Sex-Positive Culture – a community center model for socializing, play, classes and vendor fairs and where I have played nearly every week for years mainly at the Grind and Pan-Sexual play nights. Soon I had a bit of a dance card schedule going with people scheduled for one of those two nights. And here I am still going at it and loving it. I became polyamorous over the years to expand my skills and give what I learned to more people. I played in the M/s mode, D/s mode and as a Top playing with a bottom. I bought better toys and developed a group of skills of many variations. I acquired a following and a wonderful primary female slave partner whom I live with and enjoy life with in so many ways. Yes, you can find a partner to play with who needs what you can give and what you can offer. 


All in all, from my secretly kept life to going public, I have never turned to look back. This is where I belong. This is what I need. This is what I want. This is where I feel the most alive. This is where I feel like I have come home.
Purpose of the Rules
  • For anyoone who wants to find out more about what might be included in a heterosexual Master/slave relationship. 
  • To know, as I found out, how fulfilling this lifestyle can be. 
  • To feel this ‘at home’ feeling. 
  • To feel an intimate sexual ingredient in every part of your life. 
  • To know there is a source from which all this comes and allows for living like this to be so special, wanted, and most of all needed and necessary. 
  • To feel alive. 
  • To know that everything about your life and your past finally makes sense. 
  • To feel sensual, sexual, enlightened, and empowered, cared for and desired in a manner you have not found in a vanilla lifestyle. 
  • To know how it is to be made free through it all. 
  • To seek guidance and realize favor and acceptance with reason. 
  • To know what gets you wet and hot and bothered. 
  • To find, finally, who you are and where you fit. 

 

Notes for the female slave to Keep in Mind

1. Go slow, have lots of discussions, know that a M/s relationship goes fast, be honest, open, communicate all issues, learn, be ok with mistakes made, listen, and be protective of your well being, psychological, physical, sexual, social and emotional health. 
2. Use your safe words if you have them. 
3. Ask lots of questions. 
4. Read whatever you can find on the M/s lifestyle, toys used, safety, sexual safety, positions, other people’s rules, first aid, techniques, etiquett, practices, culture, traditions, aftercare – this is very important to bring you back from intense play, spiritualism, etc. 
5. Expect to be tested on what you are taught. 
6. Understand punishment as something you would rather not get often. Know that discipline helps to remind you of how to behave. 
7. Each rule has many meanings. Find what speaks to you most to understand and apply the rule. Work with each rule often coming back to re-evaluate them. 
8. Trust is everything. Know your Master. Understand how problems can be resolved. Know to walk away if necessary till you find the right Master for you. 
9. Consider a trial period. 
10. Have a kind of third person thing going on with you and allow it to watch over you and help you get through what you are put to use for and to evaluate how use of you fits. Be able to talk about issues and work to resolve them. 
11. Ask for release from a Master rather than storming out. 
12. Get tested for sexual safety. Be honest with your  Master. Insist your Master gets tested. 
13. Don’t be afraid to use condoms, dental dams, latex or nitrile gloves to be sexually safe. 
14. Tell you doctor exactly how you got the marks on your body so that you get the right kind of medical help. 
15. Adjust and fit the rules for your relationship and needs. Eliminate those you don’t want to use. 
16. Avoid drugs and alcohol when in a M/s relationship. You don’t need any more problems. This lifestyle can be dangerous and you will want to act safely and be safely led and used.
17. Keep a journal – one for you, one for your Master. 
18. Expect assignment. Do your best. 
19. Your primary focus is to serve, obey and hope to be found pleasing in all you provide and do.
20. Be of good health to be flexible as much as you can be for use. 



How to Use the Rules


1. Kneel in an attentive position in a safe place nude as if on assignment along with some paper and a pen.  
2. Read through all the rules in a whisper and feel in your heart how they sound to you. It may take you from hours to days to read through all the rules.  
3. Using the following to rate the rules by number or your chosen color code:

  • Will do.
  • Want to do, but will need a little push.
  • Won’t do ever. In fact, if so required, will ask for release. 
  • Find questionable and may be in need of a rewrite or elimination.
  • Must do without question – an absolute need.

4. When finished with the rating – leave the rules alone for a bit and come back and do it again. Some decisions might change after the first time. 
5. You do not have to memorize all the rules you want to use. 
6. The rules are for building a mindset. 
7. Take the time to read your final selections often to help keep you in your place. 
8. Discuss your selections with your Master or with those you wish to consider to be taken by as you Master. Follow what is finally chosen and approved by your Master.


The 128 Rules

1. i will serve, obey and please my Master.

2. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my Master, hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He percieves of my potential – He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me.

3. i worship my Master’s abilities and focus to keep me in my ‘place’ to serve His needs.

4. i worship every inch of my Master’s body.

5. The power of my Master fills me with awe. The sheer thought of Him or to hear His voice gives me strength and confidence to serve Him to the best of my abilities regardless of the circumstances going on in my life and His.

6. To receive pleasure i must not only earn it, but accept Master’s permission when it is granted to me. Pleasure is a gift and i must not ever abuse it in any way for it can be taken from me at any time.

7. i worship my Master’s whip whether it is used for His pleasure upon my flesh or to punish me for my behavior.

8. i trust my Master: His responsibilities, His skills, His hunger and needs, and His concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health.

9. i am nothing more than an object of Master’s choosing to use for His needs. 

10. i will not act to satisfy my needs without Master’s permission.

11. my body and my mind are the property of my Master.

12. i must always give thanks to my Master for whatever He gives to me and do so in the manner i was taught by Him.

13. i must be specific and very explicit in my speech.

14. i will not hesitate to respond to my Master. 

15. i will thank my Master for the discipline and punishments i receive, specifying what i received and the reason as to why i was given them.

16. i have no will of my own accept to behave in the manner which Master has taught me, according to the rules He expects me to follow, seeking to be found pleasing by him in all i do, to listen when He teaches me, or to report to Him of my progress in serving Him and when given His guidance to do better.

17. i am always in submission to my Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at anytime, in any place, under any circumstances, regardless of who may be present. For the opportunity to submit and to please is by far more important and satisfying than any other pursuit. i trust my Master will keep me safe, protecting His reputation and mine in the presence of others, as He examines my ability to present myself to Him and to others in a subtle manner when required to protect our lifestyle from those who may not understand, nor support, as long as our behavior is not in anyway misrepresented nor misinterpreted by those who may be afar. i am to set, once again, a good example, ready to explain my position to others when required to do so. my lifestyle is a part of a growing culture for which i must never forget that i am an integral part.

18. All my choices shall be based upon whether or not they will please my Master.

19. When i am not in the presence of my Master and i have choices to make – i will perform them to the best of my abilities and within the boundaries and guidance He has allowed me.

20. i shall wear the collar my Master gives me with pride for it signifies His ownership of me and
my devotion to Him.

21. i shall wear the chains my Master gives me as a symbol of my position in life – that of bondage to Him. i shall wear them, as required, around my neck, my wrists, my ankles or around my waist.

22. When i am ready – i shall wear His rings to signify my submission to Him – one pierced through each nipple of my breasts and one through each labia of my pussy.

23. my mouth shall only be referred to as a cunt for it will often be used as if it were a pussy.

24. my sex shall only be referred to as a pussy.

25. When the cock of my Master is put into my cunt and i am directed to suck it – i will do so vigorously as long as i am required to do so. my hands shall be placed on the tops of my thighs, behind my neck or held at the base of my back so that during the sucking i can use my whole body to display my hunger to my Master.

26. my Master’s cum must never go to waste – i will swallow all of it when Master cums into my cunt (and be punished should I spill any of it from my lips), licking it up if Master cums into my hands or into a plate i hold in front of Him to receive it, or onto the food He gives me which He may require of me to hold just under His cock as He ejaculates over it. i will clean His cock thoroughly squeezing out every last drop. In rare and privileged cases i may wear my Master’s cum on my body, sometimes after massaging it into my skin. Cum is a gift from my Master and it is an honor to receive it. The eating of my Master’s cum will be counted as one of my meals for that day.

27. i worship my Master’s cock, its head and its shaft, especially when it is hard or when i am given the opportunity to make it hard for Him.

28. i will worship my Master’s ass only after a thorough washing of it. i shall do so hungrily, being sure to lick between the cheeks for as long as Master requires me to do so. i will use my hands to spread my Master’s cheeks apart.

29. i will never look into the eyes of my Master without his permission. To do so would be inappropriate of my position, and doing so could be interpreted by Him that i am seeking His attention or expecting Him to act – when such things are up to Him and to Him alone.

30. my head must be bowed down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i honor the position of my Master and it is important that i am not distracted in my submission to Him.

31. my eyes must be cast down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i am to focus on my behavior, waiting to act appropriately and without hesitation when directed to do so by Him.

32. i must always wear revealing and sexy clothing of good taste around my Master unless given permission to do so otherwise. The clothing i wear will allow easy access to my pussy, ass and breasts. The clothing will emphasize and often exaggerate my assets. i will wear such clothing in any kind of weather. How i present my body to Him or in front of others is more important than my discomfort and insecurities.

33. When others show an interest in what i am wearing i must ask them if they would like to see more and then gladly show them what they would like to see – but only after i have received permission from my Master – for i trust my Master’s judgement that such a display is not only reasonable but is safe to do.

34. i must remove all of my clothing in the way i have been taught when Master commands of me to do so – regardless of who may be present and despite where it is i am – i trust my Master.

35. When i remove clothing from my body it must be folded neatly and placed in a small pile in front of me just ahead of my feet or my knees if i should be required to be in my kneeling position after unclothing myself.

36. my basic attire in the presence of my Master shall consist of a collar and my highest heels. The rings of my submission, if i have been pierced, must also be attached to my body, as should the chains He has given or allowed me to wear.

37. my legs, underarms and pussy must be kept completely shaved smooth and clean so that nothing of me is hidden from view.

38. Unless otherwise given permission – my hair must be kept up in a manner that is ravishing so that my shoulders and the nape of my neck are fully exposed – especially when i am naked. It is important to Master that i appear not just attractive, but alluring and desirable.

39. Whenever i need to pick something up or receive something from someone else i must do so wherever possible by going into a kneeling position to show that i am honored to do so. i will perform this motion according to how Master has taught me.

40. my pussy and ass must be thoroughly washed and of a good aroma at all times, if even perfumed, but especially before serving my Master.

41. my “place” is on my knees before my Master, for it is a privilege and honor to be His slave.

42. When in the presence of my Master, but not in use, i will go to the place He has selected until i am needed by Him.

43. my greatest felt satisfaction is realized when i know i have pleased my Master.

44. There can be no greater pain or suffering i can feel then when Master is not pleased with me. Naturally i will feel depressed, saddened, empty, and lost. i can only hope He will show His mercy upon me and provide to me the guidance i will need to be put back on track so that i will be forgiven and once again be allowed His eyes upon my flesh, His touch upon my soul, and His warmth and love upon my heart.

45. my submission is a natural inborn feeling, and at times a surging and powerful force inside me that only a respectable and knowledgeable Master can recognize, control and manage, for a He understands how my nature influences my behavior and how temptations to act outside of its drive can easily lead me astray and away from my primary focus: to please and to be found pleasing. He, too, manages and controls His Own natural state, sharing with me through a power exchange between us, bonding me tightly to Him, His needs with mine. my submission to such a Master allows for me to feel more aware and alive inside and out, bringing me to a feeling i cherish: ‘ at home ‘.

46. i fear no other power for my Master is always with me.

47. i will not hesitate in my obedience to my Master.

48. Whenever Master speaks, even when i am speaking, i am to immediately become silent so i may be able to listen intensely to what He has to say. i must never interrupt Him unless He has shown me how to communicate with Him, if i need to. i must ask first for His permission to speak, specifying to whom i would like to speak to, and whether or not i may be allowed to speak freely – then and only then, if granted, may i say anything more than asking first to speak.

49. The opportunity to please my Master is very important to me and i will take every chance to seek out such opportunities to do so to the best of my abilities and in accordance to how i have been taught or allowed to do so.

50. i choose willingly to be treated as my Master’s property – as long as such treatment is safe and legal.

51. When Master feels i am ready and our relationship has progressed to a lifelong commitment, i shall be specially prepared to receive His unique and permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, in a place of His choosing, whether it be a piercing, a tattoo or a branding. Thereafter, i shall become His property and slave in the most strict sense – completely His for as long as the relationship continues to be managed and controlled in the manner in which is beneficial to each of us and in accordance with our mutually shared natures.

52. i am my Master’s greatest treasure.

53. i will learn all the positions my Master wants to teach me to the best of my abilities and will be prepared to take such positions when required and to display myself in a manner through them that He, and others who may be present, will find most pleasing.

54. i must never reach orgasm without explicit permission from my Master. Failure to receive properly asked for permission and i will endure the punishment Master will put upon me without my safeword. Such pleasure must be seen as a privilege so that i do not take advantage of it.

55. The safeword given to me by my Master can be spoken at any time – even when i have been told to be silent. If i am not able to verbalize it – i trust my Master will show me how i can express it. Safewords are for my protection as well as His. i must be careful not to take more than i can handle, as He will need to know when to stop from getting carried away with His own passions – so that i may be prepared over time to endure more for Him.

56. my safeword, verbal or otherwise, cannot be used when i am being punished. i must remember that punishment could never be very effective if i were able to control it – i must take it in full measure – so that i will focus on the correction of my behavior for the long term, for unlike discipline, punishment is not what i will want again. i should know better. However, safewords can be used when i am being disciplined – Master will let me know which is which when the time has come that such treatment is necessary to correct my behavior.

57. i must confess to my Master when i have been naughty so that He may decide if such violations require me to be disciplined or to be punished. i must accept whatever decisions He makes by thanking Him for His choice – if He allows it before or shortly thereafter, specifying as to why i will be or have been disciplined or punished. i must focus upon how sorry i am for not behaving in the way in which i have been taught – for i have brought defilement upon myself and to Him an unacceptable act which is displeasing to Him.

58. i realize Master may own more than one slave, if He so chooses, and that i, unless allowed by Him, may never be able to have another Master other than Him, except by His choosing to further my training. i trust Master will take whatever precautions are necessary to keep the slaves He chooses to own sexually healthy and to provide whatever measures are necessary to protect us from the eruptions and ravages of any jealously which may try to corrupt the relationships our Master has allowed between each of us – including the one we each have with Him.

59. i must never be concerned when i feel too much of my flesh is showing, in private or in the general public – however, i can ask my Master for permission as to how to handle my discomfort.

60. i am a female slave – of worth and value to any Master who would find me useful. my role has been clearly brought into definition through my ability to recognize and to act accordingly with my true nature, enhanced through the teachings of my Master, and through the continued practice of my primary focus, and my search for every opportunity to do so.

61. my Master will decide what my sexual orientation shall be. i will commit myself to His decision and perform as such only in His presence and only with His permission. i know my performance will be measured and corrected as He sees fit should i be required to attend to, provide myself to, perform with, or upon another female slave.

62. i must tell my Master if i have had an orgasm without His permission so that i can be properly punished for my disobedience and disrespect.

63. Pain and pleasure shall be with me always – in my thoughts and my fantasies – for the contrast strengthens me to behave in the manner my Master expects of me. Such thoughts and fantasies are tainted with the memories i have from the last time i was in the presence of my Master. He is with me always.

64. my limits do not have to be respected – i trust my Master to take me past them when He expects that i am ready – for each side of the wall of my limitations is both pleasurable and a challenge – one side more intense than the other. My only hope in such transferences is that Master will be able to take me there again and again as my relationship to Him progresses through time, that He too will need it as much as i will, and that He will not be afraid to increase the intensity while we are there.

65. i have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved slave.

66. i will endure whatever discipline or punishment my Master gives me so i can become a better slave for Him.

67. i will work on building up my tolerances to the level my Master needs me to have, being careful not to push myself further or faster than i am ready to endure for Him, so that i may be able to expand my limitations and increase my value to Him.

68. Through discipline and punishment i shall learn to behave.

69. In bondage i am made free.

70. i will never touch my breasts, nipples, pussy or clit with my hands or sex toys in any manner where i could experience sexual or sensual pleasure without permission from my Master including washing them, shaving my pussy, adjusting my breasts as i fit them into clothing, or in attaching my rings.

71. Only through submission can i find my true self.

72. my life is empty without a Master to please – that lost feeling inside can be real and it can grow. i may be able to step away from the hunger of my nature, but not for long, for soon it could effect every part of my life. It is important that i seek a Master to please – but if i cannot find one or that i shall not be found, i am not totally lost for i must always remember: i will survive – for it is my nature to do so. my drive to please can be adapted towards the needs of others even though they may not be as satisfying as the one i would have towards a Master. i must keep in the back of mind that there is a Master who is looking too and that i need to be patient by redirecting my needs in other ways where i can provide pleasure to others.

73. i shall never think of myself as a weak person for it takes a strong female to commit to the drive inside me, to serve, to obey and to please a Master. i too have responsibilities and as natural as they may seem to me it is important that i use all of my faculties including my creative spirit to submit to a Master in a unique fashion personal to my relationship with Him. By doing so i hope to provide a good example to those females around me who may still be learning so they too are not led astray from their primary focus, that they are as true to their nature as i strive to continue to be to mine. i must remember that how i well i behave enlightens and empowers me to become even closer to who i am – a devoted slave, of good rapport to a Master who truly understands my needs in relationship to His own.

74. i will give all that i am to my Master in order to become free.

75. i must never show disrespect towards my Master in any way – no matter where i am – in his presence or not.

76. Crying and the shedding of tears at any time is good and expected for it softens my will and bonds me closer to my Master.

77. Only in complete submission to my Master shall i realize the depth of the love i have for Him.

78. The needs of my Master must always come first before mine own for they offer an opportunity to please Him.

79. i must be attentive to the needs of my Master and always be ready to respond to them to the best of my abilities and in the unique ways in which i have chosen and have developed for Him.

80. i am allowed to suggest ways to further my training or use of me, verbally or through my journal, as long as i address my Master properly first.

81. i must always respond fully both physically and verbally to whatever my Master does with me. The expressions of my emotions and my physical responses are important to Him. i must never hold back any part of their display, regardless of how intense they may be, unless restricted to do so.

82. i am a sexual and sensual being.

83. i must always remember how pleased my Master is when others delight in my sexiness as a result of my ability to show off my assets.

84. my behavior must always display a sexual content however subtle.

85. The only clothing i will buy and wear will be those items which my Master would find pleasing to Him: fitting to my figure and its assets, of good quality, of reasonable cost, and appropriate in His eyes and taste for the occasions i am allowed to attend with or without Him. i may ask if i may choose what to wear so i may be able take an opportunity to surprise Him to win His favor.

86. i may, at times, offer various parts of my body to my Master in hopes He will take pleasure in using them in whatever ways He wishes. my only hope will be that my offering will please Him. If not, i want Him to punish me.

87. It is important for me to eat plenty of carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins in the foods and fluids i am permitted to choose to nourish my body and mind, and to exercise my body regularly, as permitted by my Master, to increase my physical strength, to keep my limbs as flexible as possible, and to maintain or improve my figure so i may be able to endure my Master’s use of me however intense and for however long a period is required by Him. i want to be of a healthy and sound mind and body, free as possible of any personal limitations, when pleasing my Master.

88. If i am required to be my Master’s toilet, into or onto which He chooses to release the watery juices of His cock, i shall position myself to receive His personal waters by kneeling for Him, tilting my head back, opening my cunt wide, and closing my eyes so that He will delight in the display and offering of my body and of one of my orifices for Him choose upon which one to use. i shall remain still as He releases Himself, swallowing what i can of the waters He allows me. i shall play with myself during the release, as is instructed by Him, so that i am permitted to sexualize the experience as much as possible for His pleasure, thanking Him afterwards for allowing me the opportunity to honor Him in this most private way.

89. i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission – my pussy must be available for His use at all times. Should i be allowed to use a pad or tampoon – it must be removed in His presence should He require my vagina to be emptied – regardless of where i am and who may be present. The use of a pad or tampoon is a privilege that can be taken away from me at any time. If so, i can only hope i will be allowed to bleed for His pleasure and to feel my blood trickling down my legs or to strain to hear it drip onto the floor or onto another female slave he has selected to punish with my blood.

90. If Master has chosen my sexual orientation to that of being bisexual, and He requires of me to receive the watery juices or blood of a chosen female slave’s pussy, i am to position myself, as i would for Master, to receive upon my flesh or into my cunt the slave’s juices, and if permitted to do so, either through His command or after receiving permission from Him to display for Him my hunger, i will cup my cunt tightly to the slave’s pussy to feed from her, licking and sucking, if allowed to do so, as much as I can get from her remaining tightly cupped to her until Master allows me to release myself from her. Thereafter, i am to be thankful for what i have received and for the privilege He allowed me. Such a feeding will be counted as one of my meals for the day.

91. If it is possible to practice my basic attire in my household i will do so. i will remove my clothing immediately after entering my household putting my collar on first, then my rings and chains (if i have them), and my highest heels.

92. i will always sleep nude – kneeling first before i enter my bed and kneeling first as soon as i get out of my bed – for it is a great privilege to have a bed to sleep on.

93. i must never tighten my body when it is being whipped, caned, cropped, slapped, paddled, belted, strapped, spanked, bullwhipped, signal whipped, or anally or vaginally pumped. my Master likes it when my flesh jiggles and He knows that when i tighten my body it hurts more and inhibits my ability to display my expressions and emotions.

94. i am proud to wear upon my body the marks given to me by my Master. i know that my Master will never mark me permanently – other than the mark of His ownership He will give me at the proper time, but i will gladly suffer for Him so he can mark me with the stripes he wishes to decorate my body with for His viewing pleasure.

95. i will always listen with a strong interest in whatever my Master has to say during my training. i want to learn all that i can from Him so i can understand more about Him, about me, about the bdsm scene and community, and those involved in bdsm relationships – so i may be able to better understand the world i am apart of and be able to communicate it accurately to anyone who wishes to know more about it.

96. When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when i have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master’s house – only His whip shall be used to dry me.

97. When i walk, run, sit, stand, kneel, reach out, speak, or listen – i will do so in a sexual manner, however subtle, and with confidence and pride hoping other females around me will feel my projection upon them, that my performance is found admirable, that they would seek to emulate me without any of their insecurities or self-conscious thoughts holding them back. I want to set the best example of proper female behavior – especially if Master or someone He has chosen is nearby to examine and monitor it. However, my goal must be to behave as naturally and freely as is possible as if without any effort on my part.

98. When standing still i shall do so with my feet and legs together, my hands held behind my back and my head bowed down. i will remain silent in the way Master has taught me.

99. If required: the plug Master has provided me must be inserted deeply into my pussy before arriving at my Master’s house. Failure to do so and i shall feel the punishment He will give upon my pussy as i keep the lips of it pulled apart – for the plug was intended to provide me pleasure.

100. i hope Master will choose to use my tongue as His towel after His shower so i may be able to worship His body.

101. Until Master has chosen it is time for me to wear a more permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, i shall proudly wear His temporary mark of ownership upon me wherever He chooses to place it.

102. When sitting i shall sit up straight with my legs together and my palms down on the top of my thighs.

103. i will not speak to others without my Master’s permission except to say to them that they will have to speak to my Master first. This is especially important at play parties.

104. i shall learn to the endure the whippings Master gives me by using the technique of saying ‘ YES ‘ through each of His strike brought down upon my flesh.

105. i shall gladly make my body available to my Master to be used as furniture: my body positioned to decorate a room or a garden, a footstool to rest his weary feet and legs upon, my backside as a His table to eat off of, the cleavage of my breasts to hold his wine glass, my palms to be used to hold a plate of His food, or my hands to hold a book open for Him to read or a lamp to for Him to see.

106. Privacy is a privilege – even to have it when i need to use the bathroom. i must ask for it and accept my Master’s decision even when i am denied of it.

107. As a helper slave i shall assist my Master in the setting of a scene or in the training and use of other female slaves.

108. As a preparer slave i shall ready other female slaves for my Masters use, harden His cock for Him, or harden the cocks of others He allows me to harden.

109. As a cleaner slave i shall use my tongue to clean the cum of my Master from the body of a female slave He has put it upon, my cunt to suck for it from a female slave’s pussy my Master has used for His pleasure, or to clean the cocks i am allowed to clean that have been pulled out of the pussies of other slaves. For as a cleaner slave i am to lick up what semen i can find.

110. As a provider slave i shall offer parts of my body to those selected by my Master for their pleasure. i will also offer myself to those who wish to use me for a demonstration or to experiment on.

111. As a domestic slave i shall perform chores about my Master’s house, and those of others He allows, acting in a sexual and enticing manner in all that i do.

112. As a sex slave i shall incorporate a sexual attitude and hunger in everything i do, being eager to sexually perform at the best of my abilities for my Master and for those whom He allows to use me. my hunger must be such that i would feel as if i could never be satiated until Master allows me to be.

113. The beginning and the ending of a day shall always be with a full body whipping and a cockfeeding to remind me of my place or to provide myself to my Master for His first and last use.

114. When i have been given permission to play with myself i shall do so in the following manner: working my clit almost to an orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, then working it again to almost at orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, and then finally working it again to a full orgasm. Then and only then shall i enjoy an orgasm on my own. Should i cum before the third tier – i will tell my Master so i may be punished. i will play with myself in this manner even in His presence.

115. Should Master ever wish to cage me for display, i will gladly crawl into it and proudly position myself in it in ways He finds pleasing, in solitude and quiet, so that if He chooses, others may delight in what they see without any interruption from me, seeing that i am well-behaved and humbled that i am Master’s property and slave. i can only hope that Master would never put me into a cage to confine me for my misbehavior, that i could never come that close to displease Him so much that i would have to suffer such humiliation, begging with my tears and my cries for his forgiveness, for i want the cage to be my safe haven from my fears, a place i can crawl into of my own free will, locked into it because Master granted my request to be locked in it.

116. i am free to leave my Master at any time without the fear of permanently losing Him as my Master.

117. At the beginning of my relationship with my Master i shall present to Him three names for Him to decide upon as to which one will be my slave name. i know that He does not have to choose any of them and that He can choose one of His own for me to be known by. Thereafter, when someone asks who i am i can respond by introducing myself in the following manner: ” i am slave [slavename], property of Master John.”

118. i will periodically examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. i will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where i feel uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction i should take, how i should behave, or how i can behave in a manner that is different than how i have been behaving in the past.

119. i want to suffer for my Master in ways that please Him and that are safe for me to do so.

120. i will not be passive in serving my Master. i will aggressively participate in my exchange with Him.

121. If i am sent to another Master to serve – i will serve that Master well, as if He were my Master, for i want my Master to receive a good report after i have been returned to Him.

122. Should Master wish for my breasts to be suckled by a female slave of His choice or that legal and safe drugs be used to induce the production of milk in my breasts, i will do my best to keep my milk up so that He and others may feed from me, that my breasts will be full, tight and extra sensitive as much as possible, for however long Master wants my breasts to produce milk for Him. Likewise, i will assist in the inducement of milk production from the breasts of any female slave Master has chosen for me.

123. i will not date others or form a relationship with others without permission and approval from my Master. If i should have sex with others i will have it safely and will always tell my Master in detail what i have done so that no part of me is a secret and that i am laid bare for his inspection and approval.

124. The money i earn, should i be allowed a career, or put to work, where i am paid for my responsibilities, is mine to keep. However, i must ask my Master how i should spend or save it. i may present ways to Him for His approval. i will accept the responsibilities He gives me in the handling of my finances. It is important to my Master that i learn to handle money wisely so, if needed, i can reach my goals or be ready for any emergency where finances may be required for resolution.

125. If i am wearing a dress or skirt and no panties and i am going to sit down – i must sit on my bare skin – and do so gracefully whether i am in private or in public. If i feel that i am not as clean as i should be, i will tell my Master, so that He can decide what should be done.

126. When i wear nylons i will wear them only with garters and high heels. i will never wear panty hose – such items of clothing shall be thrown out.

127. When i am in the presence of my Master and i am free to move about i will do so in seductive and enticing ways.

128. i will give to Master my body, mind and spirit, in faith of His knowledge of the skills, safety and first aid measures necessary to put me through painfully ecstatic and euphoric edgeplay: the use of needles and pins to pierce my flesh; the use of scoring tools to make drawings upon my body or to selectively and carefully cut my skin to make me bleed with little or no scarring; aromatherapy where He will throw me into higher states of consciousness with the scents of oils and incense; blood and breath control to bring me to the edge of my survival to feel the battle for my self-preservation; guns and knifeplay to intensify my awareness of my existence racing parallel with my threatened drive to live; and other such uses. Through these activities i shall learn to ride on the top edge of my fears and the bottom edge of my perception of utter terror – for it is there i shall come to know my greatest fear of all: that i will want to go there again and again.

The end.
by Johnathan Kay
(Warning: This is not sex positive. It’s proudly privileged.)
http://128rulesguy.blogspot.com/2011/07/128-rules-for-female-slave.html?zx=1d02ee047909b312

Sex and Submission

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @ http://sirfrancobolli.org/  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….

Beltcuffs

 

Vile

 

 

 

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, submissive, Uncategorized, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on November 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Up Control

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Married Dominant, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Protocols, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My favorite new question is , What Are You Going To Do With Your One And Only Life.

 

Giving up control is a huge step, it is a step that should be given much thought , and the one deciding factor is how much control do you want to relinquish.

Once you have decided everything it is time to look for the right Dominant. Dominants come in many different flavors. Some are gentle and not so strict, some are very strict. Some enjoy inflicting pain while others do not, some punish while others do not and yes some even lie and I am going to give a very good example….

Giving up control is no easy task, the one thing you have to look at when speaking with a new Dominant is if your going to be able to comply with his demands, his rules and so on. This is not a decision that should be made at the time you are talking about everything, this is something you should mull over……

When talking to the new Dom you need to know what questions to ask, is he a 24/7 Dominant , or is he just a bedroom Dominant ? Is he just into the pain side of things ? Questions are important because if you do not ask you could find yourself in a bad situation.

Training your Baby Girl your submissive or your slave is actually a form of behavior Modification , I have spoken about this before. Changing ones thought process, habits, dress, talk, walk everything. When I was younger I did not really understand the process , nor did I care I found it to be much more work than I was willing to take part in.

It is possible for a D’s relationship to just fall into place with no formal training at all… You have to find your own fit, your own kink, your needs.

My check list , we all need a check list when we are looking for a partner in the lifestyle, I have spoken about this before. Once you put it on paper it should be LAW.

I did however change my stance on the type of relationship I was willing to enter, but as far as my needs I did not bend.  Arianna explained she needed a Micromanaged relationship, someone who could keep her in check, keep things flowing in the right direction.

Living a D’s or M’s lifestyle is different for each, the definition is different, I get it. Everyone should be happy and be in that place, that comfort zone , the feeling of security.

I am far from insecure but I do need that feeling of security, I need that closeness , the communication, and yes the control. I want to control my world and my surroundings. I keep everything in check.

My list I showed when meeting prospective slaves was not really that long, but to some it was not attainable. When explaining my list if the word NO or I cant came up , it was simple the conversation was over , I refused to bend because if I did I knew down the road I would not be happy..

There were things I was looking for in a slave, there were specific things I was looking for. It really had nothing to do with looks , it had nothing to do with what kind of job they had. It was the person , the personality ,  how sincere they were about the lifestyle , how sincere they felt about who they wanted to be and needed to be. With me personality plays a huge role , if we can talk to each other and not at each other then we are good. How serious they were about their training , how entering a relationship would benefit us both ?

Giving up control is something that happens over time, the more you communicate , spending a great deal of time together, taking the time to learn about each other outside of BDSM . As a submissive the closer you get the more control you are naturally going to give, and this will happen without thought..

The only factor that really comes into play is you giving up control to someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who is going to dedicate the time to spend with you.

Submission is not a game , to some Dominants submission is a game such as the part time Dominants I spoke about on my last post, the weekend warrior, the married Dom cheating on his wife. It should not be fair when you the submissive are the only one taking part in such a journey.

The game is using you, humiliating you , hurting you physically and mentally , ignoring your needs without a care , and you sit there alone wondering what you did wrong. Your relationship is based on you sucking cock , sending videos, and pictures so the so called Dom can get their rocks off.

I was reading in a forum not long ago about Red Flags, how many red flags do you allow when you first meet a new Dominant? I was surprised at the answers , some were 2 some were3 even up to 5 flags before ending the relationship. My thinking is any type of flag , be it something not adding up or you catch someone in a lie. If someone lies to you once they will do it again.  A flag is a flag.

Another Scenario that takes place , prior to entering a relationship you think everything is flowing in the right direction.. Then you find once you have committed yourself things begin to change. Things are not what they were , now it seems you are in more of a vanilla relationship than a D’s or M’s. and when you question , you get well I am in a slump or everything will be okay.

As you read in the Part Time Dominant , being a Dominant requires a great deal of work, it requires one to be consistent , in control, insuring rules and protocols are being followed.

What do you want to do with your one and only Life ? How long do you wait for the relationship you were promised ? How long do you go along with the communication break down ? How long do you endure the abuse in a relationship? Your scared because that is how you were made to feel, your insecure because that is how you were made to feel, your not good enough for anyone else , because that is how you were made to feel.

train

Vile

 

 

 

 

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Image

Vile