Archive for the BDSM TPE Relationships Category

My Life ,My House

Posted in A Submissive's Home, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , on June 4, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

 

 

Even I up until about 2 months ago had a Mentor, someone I could turn to if I did not have an answer. Animel passed away and I had no clue until I received a call from someone I knew not a friend just a acquaintance. I had known Animel for some 20 plus years and although I did not agree with everything he shared he was a book of knowledge. So here lately Ive kinda been out of it and it seems the smallest things get on my nerves. I do not get angry but I suppose the word would be irritated.  The other night I reached out to someone else and I knew immediately it was a mistake and I cut it off before I even got started. I reached out to a Master R and was told basically to go fuck myself but no hard feelings I just really needed to vent , venting Ive been doing for a couples of weeks and most everyone that knows me has seen the difference , the other half just think its me being me.

Calling Animel , he would answer and I would hear my phone rang and I looked at it and the caller ID said Dick Head. Then what the fuck do you want I don’t have all day ? The thing is I could talk and I knew it would not go anyplace. Sometimes I took his advice and at times I took a little of his and added a little of mine.

I am not into having cookouts with the smiths , I guess mainly we have absolutely nothing in common. I am not into sports or talking about other people. I am pretty much a loner until I get around like minded people.

Most people who meet me their first opinion is I am self centered , obnoxious , loud and rude , none caring , non empathetic, man I could go on and on but I wont. Arianna and I have talked about this very subject and she calls it confidence.

I get attached to some for what ever reason , its not like a love thing but more of a inner spiritual  connection on my part. Then and only then are you a true friend someone I would bend over backwards to help. This has only happened three times in my 54 years.

However there is a exception but there always is a exception. I enjoy helping people but I only help those who are trying to help themselves. I ask for nothing but in the back of my mind I am thinking if down the road I should need help those would step up to the plate.

I have been there , I was listening to a speech the other day and it was stated your life is a frame of mind. You can take someone who has lost everything and with the right state of mind they would bounce back full steam ahead.  If you expect someone to just open the door and fix your fuck ups then it will never happen.

Our community is very small compared to the over all population but today it is a dog eat dog world. Depending on who your speaking with most of the time I feel like picking up the phone and calling CNN.

I am a man who will drop everything at the drop of a hat if someone needs help , but as I have aged , Ive learned to only help those who are willing to help themselves.

I am a Drama free man , and I will not allow anyone to bring any drama to my home or my girls , this includes family. There are times when you have to cut ties even when someone is very close to you. Drama is a sickness , drama is a cancer and there are those who not only want it to spread but it is a need to them in order to survive.

BDSM today is more about the kink side of things , men wanting pussy and most subs or slaves trying to find that security and structure. You can play the game but if you do not know the rules you cannot win. BDSM has always been about kink but some try to hide that fact , but there are others who want to take a different path , there are those who are sincere about their Dominance or their submission.

So I use the word Mastery , the Master , the Dominant being able to put a solid plan into action and following through with good intentions. Mastery being able to enter someones head , someones train of thought. Getting in someones head is the easy part staying there is a total different story.

Mastery having the ability to stay consistent on a daily basis , being able to communicate, being able to listen , being able to maintain your control and anger.

I am against Domestic violence of any kind be it physical , verbal , or mental. Domestic Violence does not always mean a male there are women who are just as abusive.

Our relationship is 100% consensual , our relationship was negotiated prior to entering a relationship. We entered the relationship as master and slave. That brings back that state of mind. You have to need you can want but the need has to be there.

I like structure , I thrive on structure , I thrive on having a plan. Arianna and Lynns plans are planned a month in advance. Both have calendars , and the first of each month both start adding dates to doctors appointments and free time as well. Before making any type of request both come to me and ask , this is to make sure I do not have plans. My calendar is in my head.

I work from home and for the job I do and money I make I am paid very well. Arianna and Lynn work outside of the home.

My morning starts roughly around 4.10 am Arianna walks into the room after the coffee is made and wakes me , sometimes its not so easy but I do get up and the three of us sit and have coffee. Arianna has to be at work by 5.45am. I walk Arianna out to the car and when I enter the bedroom a fresh glass of ice water is waiting on me and Lynn heads off back to bed. Shortly after Arianna calls and we talk while she is driving to work. This has been the same for 4.5 years now. At 6am I lay back down and sleep until about 8am and I wake this is my down time so to speak but I know my day is just beginning. I go to the office and log into work around 10.45am go through my emails and stats. 11am I being and I work until 10pm. The good thing is I only work Saturday through Tuesday. 10pm I log off , then I relax until about 12am then I crash.

By Wednesday I am a wired fool , I am strung out and ready to go. I am one who jokes a lot and many times when I say something they will look to Arianna for the truth, or while talking they are waiting for the punch line. I am a true conservative with just at ouch of Democrat . I am not politically correct , I speak my mind but many times I will not give any type of opinion because the topic is not worth even getting involved. If it is something I truly believe in then I will speak up. I am not going to get all political on you I am just sharing my state of mind.

In order to have a M’s home run like a fine tuned machine you have to be able to take a look into the slaves mind , you have to stay one step ahead of the thoughts and emotions, yea it sounds like a lot of work but the fact is it is really pretty easy if you are willing to donate the time needed. Another factor is you have to care , you must want to see growth, you must be supportive during not just the good but the bad.

There was a post on fetlife in a group and Arianna asked permission to post a comment, I said yes of course. As we know fetlife is full of drama and those who are new to the lifestyle cringe at the thought of asking a question because all of the others who know everything pounces on the question like Piranhas. Arianna stays away from such childish antics.

The question was

Opinion: A Slave’s Compass

From time to time I am somewhat shocked when I read a answer Arianna has posted in a conversation or even reading her blog just after a fresh post at times I really scratch my head.

Arianna’s answer

VilesArianna:

I love the analogy. In my life, I find that when the focus is on my Master, other things seem less important. There’s a freedom in prioritizing ones life in one direction. There’s always an answer. I wear an engraved bracelet that states, WWMD, ( what would Master do?). This reminds me that my actions both public and private reflect my submission. Another bracelet is engraved, VKA, Vile knows all. This isn’t because he’s egotistical but because in my submission there are no secrets. My likes, needs, wants and desires, even thoughts are to be known to my Master. I strive to be complete in my submission. My submission is no longer mine to give but once accepted it became a need. The need to continue my commitment to Him.

It was easy for me to walk down the path of slavery. My Master portrayed confidence, intrigue, intelligence, and insightful questions. He challenged me to look past my own definitions and become His definition. So, His needs became my wants. His wants became my desires. His desires became my goals. It was an AHA moment when I released my own vision of what slavehood should look like and adopted His. That was hard because I wanted to give more and more. I trust that although I need to anticipate His needs that He will not allow me to continue once His own definition of Mastery is completed. In other words, I had to let go of my ambitious ways that were intruding into His ideal vision and release my own desires and adopt His even if the picture was different.

The compass is a great picture of ones truth. The stronger the bond, the deeper the connection, and the freedom in adopting another’s life as their own is a wonderful achievement in my own journey. For us, it works and each day I can look forward to having a focus in the turbulent seas of life because I have found my compass.

Thank you
~arianna

 

I did reblog her post from last night and again after reading it left me scratching my head causing me to think even deeper.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/

It will act like the link is broken from my phone anyway but just click on the title and everything will work fine.

If you the Dominant take the lifestyle and your relationship serious the world is yours no questions asked. If you truly love someone why would you not provide the time needed?

Everything in our relationship is based on my decision , its not to say I never ask for advice because I do and many times I take the advice giving , but in the end I have the final say.

Again everything is on my terms even when it comes to sex it is about me and only me at that time. I find it hard to use the words making love its hard to focus when I have these thoughts because I know at times it is needed but I am about taking what is mine. Once I start I hit every hole and at times more than once and Ill fuck until I cant fuck anymore. I love anal sex to me that is the most submissive act a slave or submissive can offer her most private part.

A submissive or slave not only wants but has the need to please , this is something that comes natural we as Dominants just have to file off the rough edges.. You put the work in that is needed and the rewards are far greater than you can imagine. What you have is a relationship that is consensual instead of intimidation and fear.

A relationship based on fear or intimidation is a one sided relationship and will be short lived.

If anyone has questions feel free to ask  it can be personal or maybe just advice , I am currently trying to figure out how to do some audio files..

Much Love to everyone who has stopped by….. I truly appreciate everyone.

 

Vile

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/

 

 

Training On Different Levels

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://dominationsubmission.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/bdsm-training-methodology-and-techniques/, Master And Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Training Arianna with tags , , , , , , , , on March 7, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was just reading a Blog By Master P.

https://dominationsubmission.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/bdsm-training-methodology-and-techniques/

The topic was BDSM Training-Methodology and Techniques
Before you start ranting I am not totally disagreeing with him but I find to have a different opinion one a few topics.
thekinkyworldofvile.wordpress.com is based one a Master , Slave relationship, it is based on a owner property relationship , it is based on a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange. If you put these all together I control everything and while I do listen I have the final say.
Again I agree with Most of what Master P is talking about but we are talking about two different relationships. Dominant , submissive , Master And Slave and there by definition is a clear difference.
Behavior modification is changing ones way of thinking, in a good scenario this can be done willingly or forced that would be totally breaking someones will.
Although most training is done to fit the Masters needs there are other things we look at , changing bad habit into good ones.
I did train for service , I did so because I have protocols that I want followed when company is over. I have protocols for private and public, I have different stages of protocols and each one is used depending on the setting.
So I was just thinking about why men cheat be it vanilla , D’s and I do know Doms who cheat , hell Ive known Master who cheated.
So when finding a partner why not find someone you can train to make you complete.
I am in no way saying Master P is wrong with what he is saying it just proves that we are all different in the way we think , act, and train. Our train of thought is different , more so our needs.
Although a Master puts his slave first she is there to fit his needs and wants and the Master insures the Slaves needs are met on a daily basis.
When looking for a partner you should take your time and find someone you can connect with on every level in life. You should be able to communicate on every level and be able to speak freely and openly.
Training is something I take very serious and now I will only take on such a task if it is to be a long term. I also make it known it will be a slow process it is not something where I meet you on Monday and Tuesday we both jump head first..
Putting a plan together is needed before hand , what worked for the last slave will not work for the next.The same with rules although my protocols have never changed over the years if anything I have become more strict.
With the submissive , the submissive accepts and strives for submission a slave strives for Obedience.

Submission Vs Slave

Best Slave Training if your a new Dominant , or submissive , slave there is a ton of useful information. There is not one website or book you can base your relationship on but you can take bits and pieces and come up with a plan.
In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master. A submissive makes a choice to give her submission in a limited fashion, for a defined period of time and under certain conditions. A submissive can have a long-term relationship with a Master, but still retains certain controls. However, many are satisfied with casual role-play without any long-term goals. Training may or may not be involved between a Dominant and a submissive.
A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship. These conditions, rules and limits usually define time, place and activity.
Slavery calls for a higher level of commitment and of serving, obeying and pleasing than submission. Slavery is the complete commitment of a slave’s body, mind, soul, and spirit. She submits to the will of her Master. His choices become her choices. Obedience is a major focus in her life.
Being a slave means you are willing to be molded to fit her Master’s needs and to serve him. A slave is re-socialized and re-educated by her Master to serve, obey and please him. Her attention is on his happiness.

Submission Vs Slave

The Master makes his slave his number one priority , even when it comes to friends and family. The Master insures the slaves needs are taken care of , even on a emotional and mental state.
While in some D’s relationship as stated above there may or may not be any type of training , what is important is you have found your place in life and your relationship.
Some thought my training strategy was a little strict , or maybe even a little unorthodox, but I am me and I was not going to change who or what I was . I did just that before and I failed..
Once you give your word you cannot go back or try to change anything when it comes to rules or protocols.
Again Master P is not wrong with what he is saying but we are talking about 2 different lifestyles.
I will give you a peak into Airanna’s mind she had dropped me off at a store and I told her to circle and pick me up when I was ready. She was texting with someone and she explained she was in service, this is just one example but her train of thought.
I enjoy the training , I love watching the transformation, I love creating but this comes with a cost, and that cost is Arianna and her well being is my responsibility, The decisions I make greatly effect two and not one. Yes this is where choices and consequences come into play…
It is the slave that has to adapt to the Masters way, if your having problems then sit back and think of what could be improved on
Vile

Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.

MASTER / SLAVE

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.

 

Vile

 

Predators Are Alive And Well

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, control, Dominant and Submissive, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, relationships, Slave, Submission, submissive on February 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Predators come in many faces , Predators are all around us , Predators are people we know and don’t know and from time to time we get a little surprise.

I never mention any names unless I do not like you and to tell you the truth there are very few who I call my friend.

While we should not judge anyone for their actions mainly when it comes to the lifestyle , because as we know each relationship is different.

Predators come in all sizes , shapes colors , male and female. The female I call the black widow, the leech , the succubus. These women seek out men who they think are weak. While it may be true some men may not be week , but maybe experiencing a vulnerable moment in life. These women will drain a Texas oil well  and walk away like nothing happened, and move on to the next victim….. These women very seldom give up the pussy and only do so if they feel they are losing control.

At a younger age I was played a few times until I figured out the game, then I was like wow here we go, lets get ready to rumble…. Interesting mind fucking the mind fucker.

The male predator they see submission as a weakness , they prey on those who are having problems in their life, those who are a emotional mind wreck. These guys pretend to give a fuck while undressing you with their eyes, or wondering how well you suck cock or if you take it up the ass. These guys want the slut but not the responsibility.

In these situations you find yourself doing things you would not normally do. Perform on webcam , or send nude pictures daily, phone sex, wearing slutty clothes in public. You feel awkward but you go along with it because you believe this is the way.

So the predators are not just men there are some wicked women lurking , looking for their next dollar.

I get emails all the time from women who are caught up with these so called married Doms who are cheating on their wives. Well this is no Dom because he cannot even run his own house. What he is looking for is a cock sucker or someone who will take it up the ass. These men see those who are submissive as being weak and worthless, and you spend more time waiting on an email or a text than you actually spend with him, and when you do get a little time your sucking dick.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting after that your a secret and nothing more. You hear promises that things will get better and how he plans on leaving his wife. I would hope you would not believe that story…

Your training consist of sucking cock being on your back , being humiliated on a regular basis, and taking pain you really have no interest in.

Then the guy who spends his life thinking with his dick. Arianna laughs when she is on Fetlife and sees a Dom and his Avatar is his cock because she knows this is the way he is, his dick runs his life.

On Fetlife if you look to the left at the interest this will tell you a lot about the individual. You can take a peak into his mind and see exactly what he is looking for in a relationship.

These are the guys who also play a game , on the hunt for pussy and head and nothing more. I know a Dom near me who goes through several women a month, playing on their submission.

The abuse often it can start and the submissive is clueless and does not see it until it is to late.

While at a function a couple drove a couple of hours to meet Arianna and I. We were excited to see her and her new Dom, but as we were talking he was saying how he was not going to allow her to go to munchs , or submissive round table’s  as he does not attend local meetings mainly because he is not welcome. This is where the isolation starts , but shortly after leaving she sent Arianna a text saying she was not going to stay with the Dom.

The isolation begins to keep you from other people in the lifestyle , this is so your Dom is the only one you are getting information from. You give all of your passwords to him as well so he can monitor your every move.

Then comes the name calling telling you how stupid you are, how worthless you are and you were nothing before you met him….

This is to humiliate you but it is meant to eat away at your self esteem , to make you feel lower, and take away any self confidence you may of had. This moves you into a position where you feel all alone, now your at his beck and call , most of the time waiting hours days or even weeks before hearing from him.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting , unless your dumb enough to just show up at his place or a motel not knowing anything about him.

When you do see him you spend about 5 minutes talking and the rest of the time sucking dick.

If your not able to think straight or rational you have no business looking for a relationship in the lifestyle.

At times I get emails asking for advice and when it is not what they want to hear I never hear back from them , go figure.

The mistakes you make are decisions you make , and you know from the start what your thinking… You also know from the start if things are not right…

It is not easy trying to weed through the fakes but you can tell if someone is truly interested in you. You can tell if someone wants to get to know you as a person.

 

 

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, submissive, Uncategorized, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on November 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Up Control

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Married Dominant, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Protocols, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My favorite new question is , What Are You Going To Do With Your One And Only Life.

 

Giving up control is a huge step, it is a step that should be given much thought , and the one deciding factor is how much control do you want to relinquish.

Once you have decided everything it is time to look for the right Dominant. Dominants come in many different flavors. Some are gentle and not so strict, some are very strict. Some enjoy inflicting pain while others do not, some punish while others do not and yes some even lie and I am going to give a very good example….

Giving up control is no easy task, the one thing you have to look at when speaking with a new Dominant is if your going to be able to comply with his demands, his rules and so on. This is not a decision that should be made at the time you are talking about everything, this is something you should mull over……

When talking to the new Dom you need to know what questions to ask, is he a 24/7 Dominant , or is he just a bedroom Dominant ? Is he just into the pain side of things ? Questions are important because if you do not ask you could find yourself in a bad situation.

Training your Baby Girl your submissive or your slave is actually a form of behavior Modification , I have spoken about this before. Changing ones thought process, habits, dress, talk, walk everything. When I was younger I did not really understand the process , nor did I care I found it to be much more work than I was willing to take part in.

It is possible for a D’s relationship to just fall into place with no formal training at all… You have to find your own fit, your own kink, your needs.

My check list , we all need a check list when we are looking for a partner in the lifestyle, I have spoken about this before. Once you put it on paper it should be LAW.

I did however change my stance on the type of relationship I was willing to enter, but as far as my needs I did not bend.  Arianna explained she needed a Micromanaged relationship, someone who could keep her in check, keep things flowing in the right direction.

Living a D’s or M’s lifestyle is different for each, the definition is different, I get it. Everyone should be happy and be in that place, that comfort zone , the feeling of security.

I am far from insecure but I do need that feeling of security, I need that closeness , the communication, and yes the control. I want to control my world and my surroundings. I keep everything in check.

My list I showed when meeting prospective slaves was not really that long, but to some it was not attainable. When explaining my list if the word NO or I cant came up , it was simple the conversation was over , I refused to bend because if I did I knew down the road I would not be happy..

There were things I was looking for in a slave, there were specific things I was looking for. It really had nothing to do with looks , it had nothing to do with what kind of job they had. It was the person , the personality ,  how sincere they were about the lifestyle , how sincere they felt about who they wanted to be and needed to be. With me personality plays a huge role , if we can talk to each other and not at each other then we are good. How serious they were about their training , how entering a relationship would benefit us both ?

Giving up control is something that happens over time, the more you communicate , spending a great deal of time together, taking the time to learn about each other outside of BDSM . As a submissive the closer you get the more control you are naturally going to give, and this will happen without thought..

The only factor that really comes into play is you giving up control to someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who is going to dedicate the time to spend with you.

Submission is not a game , to some Dominants submission is a game such as the part time Dominants I spoke about on my last post, the weekend warrior, the married Dom cheating on his wife. It should not be fair when you the submissive are the only one taking part in such a journey.

The game is using you, humiliating you , hurting you physically and mentally , ignoring your needs without a care , and you sit there alone wondering what you did wrong. Your relationship is based on you sucking cock , sending videos, and pictures so the so called Dom can get their rocks off.

I was reading in a forum not long ago about Red Flags, how many red flags do you allow when you first meet a new Dominant? I was surprised at the answers , some were 2 some were3 even up to 5 flags before ending the relationship. My thinking is any type of flag , be it something not adding up or you catch someone in a lie. If someone lies to you once they will do it again.  A flag is a flag.

Another Scenario that takes place , prior to entering a relationship you think everything is flowing in the right direction.. Then you find once you have committed yourself things begin to change. Things are not what they were , now it seems you are in more of a vanilla relationship than a D’s or M’s. and when you question , you get well I am in a slump or everything will be okay.

As you read in the Part Time Dominant , being a Dominant requires a great deal of work, it requires one to be consistent , in control, insuring rules and protocols are being followed.

What do you want to do with your one and only Life ? How long do you wait for the relationship you were promised ? How long do you go along with the communication break down ? How long do you endure the abuse in a relationship? Your scared because that is how you were made to feel, your insecure because that is how you were made to feel, your not good enough for anyone else , because that is how you were made to feel.

train

Vile