I am not speaking about my relationship With Arianna , I am speaking in general. I am obsessed with the TV The Walking Dead , and I wonder at times if something like that could really happen?
What I am getting at , I remember the very first Walking Dead , when the Deputy Rick had been shot and was in a comma. Once he woke up and started looking around he realized there were no people around. He walked outside and there was nothing no other humans.
Now I am not going off the deep end just in case your wondering , I am just sharing my thoughts. This is why many Dominant need that interaction at local munchs and MAsT groups so we can interact with those who have the same interest.
Here lately that has not been so easy. Arianna and I have attended several different functions and I have not clicked with anyone. I am not sure if it is a lack of differences , or a lack of how we view the lifestyle. I do know that over the past several years the lifestyle has moved more towards the kink side of things, than the what I call the standard BDSM flow. Being communication, structure protocol and rules , and then on to ownership.
I do at times find it difficult to trust people, I also find it difficult to sociable , but maybe that is just the lack of things in common. Going to different functions allows me to be me , and in hopes of communicating with others who have the same interest. What I do find is others bringing drama into a public setting and that is what the conversation is centered around….
I am still debating on filing for my own MAsT chapter , as of now I do have the support of another MAsT group and would give a good recommendation. It is just finding the right time. There is so much more I want to do , but with moving and getting set up , my new job and yes I consider being at a job for 8 months still new. It was not suppose to be as stressful as it is , but I do enjoy it.
Arianna pointed out several months ago , that some people find me to be intimidating , and I am not sure why unless it is my lack of joking around. She also brought it up that many think it is my way or no way. While I can see her side of things , that is not the whole truth. It comes down to a couple of things. If you portray yourself to be someone your not , if you lie , or if your bringing your problems or drama someplace that is meant to be educational , or if your abusive that is where I draw the line.
Arianna brought it up that I should try being nicer to people , be more open or receptive, and after giving it some thought for a while , I decided to give it a try.
I invited someone to my home , and even offered to take them out, as it turned out I had to work so Arianna met her and spent a great deal of time with. Now I invited with the intentions of just being friends nothing more. I made no out of the way advancements because Arianna was in the loop the whole time, and once the two started texting , I for the most dropped out of the picture, we still chatted on Facebook but it was just friendly chat.
I am more than positive Arianna was a good host, I am also sure Arianna was polite and friendly. So after going to a theme park , out to eat a couple of times, all communication stopped.
So one or two things happened , either I offended her or Arianna was not a good host and was not friendly , which I doubt was the case, at any rate this is the reason I distant myself from people , this is the same reason I have very few friends. This is why I do not allow myself to get close to anyone , because after it was all said and done , I felt as if I was used, no explanation or anything.
In the end it is all good though , I am in a good place and it is my own little world….
Before you start thinking , this is not a pity party because I do not roll like that, I am just expressing my feelings , on this part of life..