Back in the day I was a full blown Sadist. My first Slave was a total Masochist, with no limits. As I look back on our relationship there were things I did that I am not proud of today. I did things that I would not attempt or ask of another today. Over the years I have moved away from being a Sadist to more of an M’s relationship without the pain.
Cherri being my first and it was like a game with no rules, although she did guide and instruct me on how and where to hit. I learned much of what I know today from Cherri. I have said all of this before. I was with Cherri for almost seven years, and I never fucked her. I did not want that close feeling, and there was just something about her that did not sit with me right. Now she did suck a lot of dick, that was a daily thing, as well as Rimming. As far as sex nah I was just not into her like that.
I did allow others to use her. I had two close friends a male who for what ever reason had no luck in picking up women, and an older Domme who had a clit the size of Dallas.
At one time I was feared, a lot of subs and slaves were scared of me. I remember one night I was at a Chinese restaurant with a date, and a friend of mine showed up with a girl, as we were talking his girl said wait , did you use to live in that house on robins street. I said yes for about six years. She started shaking and told Jerry she wanted to go, she did not want to be around me. Then my date looked at me like what the fuck is she talking about.
Over the years I calmed down a lot, , but I did not know if I was capable of having a normal D’s or M’s relationship. I found it very difficult to break away from the pain game.
Then I learned that it had everything to do with feelings. Feelings for the other. Why would you want to hurt someone you cared about? Although I do know Sadist who are Married to Masochist, and they seem to be doing just fine. Another thing most Sadist are poly, having more than one partner.
Once again the poly thing I do not understand. I mean if you have the whole package at home, why look for another.
Now the Safe Word thing, this is a huge controversy, and most in the BDSM community strongly believe in using a Safe Word. Okay so in someways I do still consider myself a Sadist, maybe once a Sadist always a Sadist, it seems you never lose that title.
Those Dominants just entering the lifestyle should use a Safe Word and the Submissive or Slave should insist on a Safe Word. I believe if you are in a long term relationship you get to know your partner and their limits. You know what they can take and what they cannot take.
Well then I am told, you need a safe word so you can push their limits. Each time you session you want to push their limits more than the last time. I myself disagree with that method.
When in a long term relationship more so if you are living together, you form a mental bond, you know what ones limits are, and you care what their limits are, or you should. Pushing one to far I believe can be departmental to ones mental state, I do believe there is a breaking point, and that fear emerges . Once you bring that fear out, it never goes away, just like someone who beats a dog on a regular basis. The dog will cower when called.
I do get rough at times, sexually speaking, but as far as pain, not so much. I can tell when I am starting to spank to hard, and I stop.
The other day we were in a session and I wanted to tie Arianna up. I wanted to know she could not get loose no matter how much she tried. So first red body tape. Clear and about as wide as duct tape. First the wrist almost to the elbow. Then the feet, ankles to midway up the chin. Then my favorite the almighty duct tape. I never put duct tape directly on the skin because it can rip the skin coming off. Then the Blindfold, red body tape, then duct tape, she could see nothing. I have a bull whip that I un-braded, I unwrapped the handle cut the leather strips and made a flogger, I love it.
I am totally quite, just walking around looking down at Arianna, I reach over and lightly touch her and she jumps, she has no idea what I am about to do. Then I reach for my flogger and I start to run the leather up and down her body. Then I begin to strike her with the flogger.
Then I hit right above the clit, Arianna has my first initial cut out in the pubic hair above the clit which is awesome. I strike again then I hear two words. OH FUCK.
Yep Arianna;s safe word, she has had enough, so I stop immediately, no questions asked. OH FUCK that was her breaking point.
Now if I were to play with someone new, or someone I had never been in a session with I would insist on a safe word, because I do not know what their limits are. I have been told I am a Masochist, and I reply well you have not met a Sadist like me, so yes a safe word.
While in a session, the Dominant should be in full communication with his partner, so he can insure their safety. Even while in sub-space communication is more important then.
One day I may share some of the things I did with Cherri, I am just not ready yet. I will say if any of you has seen the movie Strange Land with Dee Snyder that would say a lot. Again nothing I am proud of and I would not enter another relationship like that again. I have had other Dominants ask me to session with their slave, just because of the Sadist in me, but I decline.
I like the place I am in. I am content, I am happy. I am me.