You look at the world of BDSM , we come with different fetish’s, different needs, for us Dominants needs and wants. We all come in different shapes and sizes, different cultures, different demographics. This is what makes the lifestyle so interesting, no matter what we are looking for, with the proper patience we can find the perfect partner.
We have Dominants, we have Daddy Doms, we have sadist, sadist who are not dominant or one can be a sadist and a Dominant. We have Baby girls who play the little brat role, masochist who are not submissive, and those who are both sub and masochist. We have those into rubber fetish, diapers, pony and pet play. Those into age play. The list just goes on and on, it is never ending. The learning process is never ending. I know myself I learn something new everyday, I have the need to continue to grow, and learn. Most of all I have the need to be in control, being in control is not a want, being a Dominant is not a want it is a need, almost like a drug. My needs grow daily .
Us Dominants have a high standard, we are looked at differently, and those who are submissive or a slave expect different from us. We are looked up to, we are asked to guide, train to fit our needs, we tell one to trust, while we work to gain trust. We must show control 24/7. We seldom show emotions, we seldom share our feelings, we seldom truly open up. We view these things as a weakness. The lifestyle is one that one must show consistency, we have to stand by our word. Most of all we have to be truthful at all times, no excuses.
While I am in total control, the rights my slave has are those I allow her to have. I have the control where she sits, which is not on the furniture, with the exception of eating dinner. My slave never takes the first bite of food. I control everything. I am not going to go over the list, but I am sure one can imagine. My slave is for my use, sexual or not. My slave is for my service.
What does she get out of all of this. How could I possibly repay the gift of submission, that she has giving me. She gives her all without question. She trust me enough to put her life in my hands. She trust me enough to know that I would not do anything to hurt or jeopardize her or her career. How can one truly repay such a gift.
Well she knows I am there for her, be it physical or emotional. She knows when something is on her mind, or something is bothering her, I am there for her. She knows we have an open line of communication. She knows when she needs to be held, I will hold her. She knows I will keep my word. She knows when she needs me, I will drop what ever I am doing.She knows I am loyal without question. She knows I will never scream or yell, call her names out of anger. She knows I will never put her down. She knows I will support her in anything she may want to do. In my opinion she gets a lot in return.
She trust that the control she gives up, I will not take advantage of. She knows I will not push her to the point of breaking. She also knows I am there on not only the good days but the bad days as well. She knows when she calls I will answer my phone no matter what.
The BDSM relationship can be very rewarding, you can feel your needed, and wanted. Yes again the communication. Every night Tish and I sit indian style on the bed and we talk about anything and everything, this is her free time to say what ever is on her mind.
Are all Dominants like me, I would say not a chance, do all dominants want to be like me, again not a chance. Do all dominants agree with my views, again very few. The thing is I am me and I refuse to change anything about who or what I am.
When I say the word slave, I say it in a control manner. I do not want Tish to be my maid, my cook, clean the house, or do all the laundry. I do my fair share. I do most of the cooking, I do laundry, fuck I even make the bed at times. Being a slave does not make one a doormat.
I very seldom get angry, or if I do I seldom show it, although a short while back, I had someone who I thought was a friend push my patience, and I got pretty verbal. I never show my anger towards my property.
Things we should and should not do as Dominants.
We should never come between family and friends. The slave or submissive’s family should always come first we come second. We should not dictate who their friends can be, they were friends before we came into the picture. I will say this about the friend thing, if there was any type of sexual play, I can put a stop to that.
We should allow the submissive or slave down time. Time to breath, go out shopping, the movies, or even a girls night out. They need down time, it is like when we sleep at night our body repairs its self, I look at down time as having the same benefit.
We have so much control at times it can be scary. We have a great responsibility. We have to think things out more clearly. After all we are doing the thinking of two, not one.
We should cherish what we have.