I was single for well over a year, during and prior I made a couple of mistakes and bad choices in partners, and there are those I wish I had never met, and those who are total nightmares.
When we do not take the time to think clearly, our heads get fucked up, it is almost like a cloud settles over our brain, and it causes us to have bad judgement. Sometimes we settle for less just so we have the companionship, even though we know deep down it is not going to work. Then at times we put to much effort into a relationship when we know the same thing, it is not going to work.
While in a relationship some may think my way is a one way street, I suppose if you looked at it from the outside I could see where one might think that. One might get the impression I am selfish, I can also see that. The truth is you have to really get to know me. I told Tish the same thing. You have to watch, listen and observe, because I am not going to tell you everything, if your truly interested you should want to do so. So far things are going perfect.
I run the house no questions asked. I make all the decisions no questions asked. What I did make clear however , because we are all not perfect. If she was to see an easier way, or maybe I am about to make a mistake, I want to hear her point of view, and I would listen. I have made mistakes in the past and I have paid the price. If I am at anytime wrong, I will be the first to admit it.
I was looking for a slave, not a submissive, a real slave who was true or wanted to learn about the lifestyle , and my way, and only my way. I am not going to change. I tried once before when I got married, the worst mistake I had ever made, but I was a man and stepped up to the plate. I was not out fucking behind any ones back. Ive gone over this before no one really seems to give a fuck so I am going to drop it.
I am Dominant 24/7, I just cannot turn it off like some are able to. I wanted a slave who was a slave 24/7, not just in the bedroom. That is like finding a Buddhist monk , that lives in an Amish town, yea next to impossible.
I found one, or she found me to tell you the truth. She is beautiful, stable, a little emotional at times, but aren’t all women at times, fuck even some men are. She has a good career, has been employed at the same place now for 13 years. Did I mention she is beautiful, and hot, with a body built for sin. Yea.
Tish craves submission , she craves accountability , she craves structure, she craves guidance. Tish needs all of the above. She needs rules, which were structured toward her needs and not mine. Tish craves consistency, Tish craves communication, Tish craves attention, she wants to be held at night, during the day, she wants to know she is number one, and the only one. I cannot understand a Dominant or top who has to have more than one at his feet. All my needs and then some are being met, without question or hesitation.
When I say slave, I am not looking for a house keeper, a cook, or someone do do my laundry. I did all of that before I met her.
Like me Tish is big on protocol, Protocol is part of her submission, again she not only craves she needs, this falls under acceptance.
She truly enjoys being spanked, Everyone knows I love bare handed spankings, back to my ass fetish. She loves bondage, which I love, she loves control. At night she has the need to be bound, being bound makes her feel safe. So we went to Home depot, I purchased a 5ft chain and two pad locks. One end goes around her neck, and locked, the other around the bed frame. This makes her feel safe, secure, but most of all owned. At night she sleeps like a baby, and she knows should she have to go to the bathroom she can wake me.
If and when company arrives she greets them, offers them a seat, at this point and time, Tish goes into a service mode, she offers drinks or what ever the guest may need. If I tell her to sit she does if not she stands behind me. Although I am big on protocol, she needs this, she has the need to please.
Our daily routine, we wake. I make Tish a cup of coffee and we sit and talk, until it is time for her to go to work at which time I make her a cup to go. Through out the day I receive text from her, I want to know how she is doing. Breakfast she tells me what the choices are and I choose what she is to eat, lunch the same thing, she will text me the options and again I choose. I cook a lot so I do most of the cooking, I enjoy cooking. I fix her plate then mine, we sit at the table. She is not to begin eating until after I have taking the first bite. At that time she may begin, this is public or private. After dinner, this is our talk time. She is allowed to say anything that might be on her mind. I want to know in more detail about how her day way. I want to know what is on her mind, any concerns she may have. Our talks usually last about a half hour. Then depending on how she is feeling its play time.
The above is an everyday ritual , all of the above that I have mentioned is what Tish told me she needed. I am consistent in our daily activities , there are no exceptions.
When out to eat I order her food and drink which is water most of the time, again she does not begin to eat until after I have taking the first bite. She does call me Master public or private. She is not a bedroom slave. I choose the clothes she is going to wear, I will pick the pants or skirt and I let her show me the different tops and I choose.
Safe word, many are going to get upset about this. I do not use a safe word. Why? I started out in the lifestyle as a sadist, I was a sadist for about 12 years or so, then I slowly began to calm down, my needs changed. My wants changed as well. After Bea and I went our separate ways. I could clearly see the mistakes I had made, and it was or is my full intentions on not making them again. Now the safe word thing. If you really care, you can tell by her eyes when she has had enough, her body movements, or even verbal. If she had asked about a safe word I would of allowed. She will tell you I have never hurt or caused any pain.
What do I get out of all of this? What are my rewards? Well pretty much anything I want or need, although sex is not the main part of a relationship, it is there for my taking, at times it is about me, but most of the time I make sure Tish is pleased. Her needs are met. I have an awesome friend, someone I can talk to, an open line of communication. Someone who likes to go out . She loves to give head, she loves anal, and at times I love the female on top, most subs or slaves do not like that, but she rides it is just wow, and she is able to cum in that position.
The structured rules I put in place, at some point and time I will add more as I see fit. It is important not to try and overwhelm someone with a bunch of since less rules, that does not benefit the slave in anyway . To many since less rules can set one up for failure, more so if they are just sexual based.
Tish has learned a great deal in a short time, she has or is learning it is okay to say NO. She is learning it is okay that not everyone likes her. She has learned it is okay that she does not have to gain acceptance from everyone around her. She has learned that while not with me, it is okay to put her foot down, and stand her ground. She has learned that when she feels there is to much on her plate, I can take some of that away, and let her know there are options.
This ladies and gentlemen is what the lifestyle is about. As much as I would like for it to be a one way street, it is not. There is no arguing, none, the main reason being we know where we both stand. There is no verbal abuse, no physical abuse, no mental abuse.
The relationship is not about us Dominants it is solely about the sub or slave. They gives us their needs and we implement a structured plan, to insure they are getting everything they need out of the relationship. The relationship is clearly not all about me. The relationship is about Tish and only Tish. I insure her needs are met at all times. I highly believe in aftercare, proper aftercare can and will prevent sub-drop.
I am very structured as well. I have zero drama in my life, and I will not allow or stand for it. I have recently let a few friends go just because of their drama. I have zero anger issues. I take care of problems before they become problems.