Archive for the Bound Category

Sub space Does Not Have To Equal Pain

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, Dominants, Ego, emotional, Emotions, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Hot Wax, Ice, inhibitions, masochist, Master, music, Pain, sadist, Safe, Sensory Deprivation, session, slave, sub-space, Submission, submissive on October 2, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sherri was a true Masochist in almost seven year that bitch did not cry one time, with the exception of us parting. I had never seen anything like it. A belt, a single tail whip, or with a flogger with each strike her eyes would just glaze over. I remember our first session, I did not have a clue to what was going to happen or what I was going to do. She knew I was fairly new to the lifestyle so I let her instruct me. When I left her house some five hours later, I was scared to death, that bitch was black and blue from the neck down. I had even broken skin open in some places and she would just run her fingers across the cuts, and just moan. At times she could not even speak, her eyes just staring off into space with each contact the whip would make.

In the beginning it was fun well with the exception of the first session. I would have a bad week and I could take all of my frustration out on her, and she enjoyed it. A couple of years passed and my side of the enjoyment was coming to an end, along with the pain and the much needed humiliation it was now a task, a task that had to be out done from the last. It was taking it’s toll on me.

I was not in love I had not been nor would I of ever been, in the seven years being together I never fucked her one time, she sucked a lot of dick, but I never banged her. To this day I am not sure why, I just did not have that connection or the want. Maybe I did not want to develop any feelings. The only thing I truly liked and enjoyed the word NO never came out of her mouth. The words I can’t never came out of her mouth. Today that is not so important to me, I suppose back then I had somewhat of an ego.

Subspace you must be able to get into the mind of the submissive, the same if you want a relationship with a submissive or slave the Dominant must be able to get into their mind. To be able to figure them out, know what they are thinking, you must know your partner inside out.

Subspace is not obtainable every time you play it may not happen every twenty times you play. Some say they are able to achieve subspace every session but I find that hard to believe, I am not saying it is not possible, I would think it would be hard. Subspace also depends on the submission you are playing with, if you fully have control, if the submissive has giving herself to you mind and body.

You can actually achieve subspace without even touching the submissive, the idea is during play to confuse the mind, a type of sensory deprivation , I have blogged about this before with just blindfolding, music ,incense and being bound.  I have been wanting to try this on Arianna but our work schedules are pretty full. As a matter of fact although we do play it is not near as often as I would like.

You tie your submissive up, blindfold her, you have two or three CD player , playing different music at a low volume, you lite two or three different incense, then comes the hot wax, and the ice cubes. The mind cannot possibly process everything that is going on. You have the submission, she is tied spread. She is blindfolded. At this point the submissive feels vulnerable, now adding everything else, not speaking just mostly watching, this is where it all begins.

It may not work the first session but it will. I am also not sure how it would work in a vanilla relationship I have never tried it. When one hits subspace you are confusing the mind, most of the time with pain, but pain does not have to play a part in order for them to hit subspace.  Some enjoy pain some get off on pain even the thought of it, then some do not. If they are not into pain or they cannot take it, you will do more damage than good. I have heard Doms say I can train you to take pain, that is a load of crap.

I have a huge surprise for Arianna this weekend.

Try it you might like it.



Put Your Slave Back In Their Place

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, animalistic, ass fucking, bdsm, blindfold, blow job, Bondage, Bound, control, doggy style, Dominants, emotional, Face Fucking, fucking, gagging, Giving Head, Golden showers, Humiliation, journal, Master, Mind Fuck, No Rights, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Respect, Rough Sex, Rules, session, sex, slave, submissive on July 31, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

First off I would like to say, I never have to explain my actions, you as the Dominant or Master should never have to explain your actions, well unless you do something really really stupid. If you the Dominant are on track and your keeping your word, you are not abusing, you never explain your actions. What does come into play though and should never be forgotten or looked over is aftercare.

I look at submissive’s and Slaves as being very different. A Submissive submits when they want to, they have the right to say NO. While some do follow rules most do not, perhaps on purpose, maybe they forget or they just don’t give a shit. Even living 24/7 much of the time the submission does not really carry outside of the bedroom.

A Slave does not have the right to say no, if this was an agreement entering the relationship, that would bring up the question are you submissive or are you a slave. This may sound bad to some and some will understand. A Slave is not equal, not in any sense. This does not mean the Slave is dumb, or stupid, but if the Slave is on the same page they understand this as well.

In an M’s relationship not only the Dominant but the Slave can become to relaxed, you start to become to comfortable in your relationship. Then it hits you I am really no different than the vanilla couple next door, who happens to be stuck up by the way.

We all give our Slaves a little bit of rope, some freedom is needed, but when the Dominant becomes to relaxed he needs to yank on the rope, and put your Slave back in place. A little reminder of who and what they are in the relationship. I am not talking about bending them over and beating them to a pulp, but doing something that will totally catch them off guard.

You have to have daily task, nothing to overwhelming , you have to have daily rituals, in order to do this you the Dominant has to stay consistent , you cannot bend from either.

A very good example Arianna has a small note book, every morning before leaving for work she writes the time and mileage , once at work same thing. This does not just apply for work this is anyplace she may go. Arianna is required to keep all receipts , then once a month or so I go through everything. I check her phone daily, this is not because I do not trust her because I do, I just want to know what she has been doing throughout the day. While home when I am at work Arianna wanted to keep a journal of all her activities while at home, she wanted this implemented so it is done and will continue. I do read by the way. A journal gives one purpose, a needed feelings.

Once you have been in a M’s relationship for any length of time, I call it needed maintenance, kinda like a tuneup if you will, a much needed reminder, of where both of you stand. I am man you are my Bitch, I am Master You are My Slave.

To put your Slave back in their place you do something out of the ordinary something that is not expected, something that will throw them completely off guard.

A time and place for everything, I find the perfect time is during a session, my sessions usually last an hour or so, that includes fucking if I wish to.

You do something that will just throw their mind off tract, something you would not normally do. A change in your voice, more authoritative , deep , serious, you fuck a different way maybe a lot rougher than you normally would, speak in a humiliating way. Golden showers are very effective, some do not like while some do, maybe after play put on hands and knees and give a cold shower, very degrading, but sometimes some other type of interaction is needed.

The Slave then becomes confused, the Slave is not able to process what has just happened, The Slave has just been or feels like they have been degraded, used humiliated mass confusion.

After all is said and done aftercare is very important, hold talk to, but you should never explain your actions.

Face Fucking to the point of almost throwing up, making the slave bark while being fucked from behind, or telling the Slave how much you enjoy sodomizing them while fucking their ass.

I myself enjoy bounding, blindfolding and gagging but putting in a bent position so I can still hit both holes. One could never explain the feeling that comes over one, when someone can do something and the other cannot do anything to stop it or speak. Wow now that is a lot of trust.

Many may not agree, but humiliation is needed from time to time, you as the Dominant needs to bring out the humble, to make feel lowers, put back in their place, just throw the Slave completely off track, mass confusing.

Unless you do something very stupid, You as the Master never should explain your actions, keep your Bitch in place.



Slaves And Cages

Posted in bdsm, Bondage, Bound, cage, punish, Punishment, slave, Spanking, submissive on July 3, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay I am not joking when I say cage. We own a huge cage you can actually get in and sit down, and almost lay down stretched out.

Every Submissive or Slave needs away time, down time. Being confined in someways gives one a very inner peaceful feeling. Really not having to think of anything.

Some years ago I had a female who would come over on the weekends. Strip, shower, and enter the cage. She was there from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon. Only let out to go to the bathroom. I would open the door and hand her food. Before you start thinking wild shit, there was no sex, notta, not even head. Once she finished school she went to work for an airline, yup a pilot.

Even being tied down and left alone for a while, not leaving the house but just closing the door, gives one a feeling of comfort, being able to let the mind go from the days or weeks activities a sense of security.

The cage can be used as punishment, although I have not as of yet. When I punish, which has only been once, I prefer corner time, or taking something away. I do not believe in spanking because most subs or slaves get off on spanking away.

When I did punish Arianna, I did spank but it is one she will remember for a very long time. Monday night we went out, when Arianna got home she showered and went straight to the cage for a nap , again a sense of security, being able to let go. While out I let her drink, I did not drink anything but tea and coke. I do not drink and drive, next time I can drink. We had a lot of fun, Arianna even did karaoke, a very nice pleasing voice.

All subs and Slaves are different, I do not judge anyone when it comes to how someone lives their life, or the way they want to be treated, or the rules their Doms have in place, if you ask I will give you my opinion, but it is just that my opinion.

A cage can be a good place to get away, a place to rest and relax. Some find it as a form of humiliation, and I could see how, but we as Dominants tend to think different, I know my mind is constantly thinking of new ideas, yes lifestyle, and sexual, my pleasure and hers.

We do have to give a little, and without judgement , remember the sub or slave is suppose to be able to come to us and speak openly about anything, no matter how weird it may sound or how out of this world it may sound, we have to keep a clear and open mind.

So if a cage or being bound, even closet time is brought up. Ask questions, why is this a need? What do you plan on getting out of this? What made you think of this? Asking questions about anything gives us Dominants the understanding we need. We want to know what ours is thinking, or you should care.




How Far Is To Extreme

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, animalistic, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Beatings, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, controlling, Deception, Discipline, Dominants, extreme, fuck hole, fucking, Kink, kinky, Master, Masters, oral, Pain, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, submissive on June 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Every submissive or slave is different, just as every Dominant is different. The world of BDSM has grown 110% over the last ten years, some for the good but for the most many have strayed away from the traditional D’s and M’s. Today it is mostly about kink. Unlike ten years ago it was not uncommon to see a couple who had been together , 5 10, 15 years or longer.

Today we have moved more into a kink world, nothing is considered long term, just like a vanilla relationship it is easier to pack up and move on to the next in hopes the grass is greener on the other side. When in fact most of the time it is not.

BDSM Bondage, Discipline , Sadomasochism , sadist , and masochist if you will. You can be a sadist and not be a dominant, I have met masochist who were not a slave nor were they submissive, and a D’s relationship would not be adventitious for them, because they are just looking for the pain aspect, could be a alpha outside the bedroom.

When someone is new to the lifestyle if they do not have the right guidance, one can stray off of their path without knowing. Meeting your first Dominant or sadist, because a sadist at times will tell you he is a dominant, as far as he knows he may think he is until it comes to the responsibility part of the relationship. After 3 months 6, or maybe a year you come to realize this is not for you, there is a bad taste in your mouth.

A sadist is just that, very few have the dominant side, the need to inflict pain, more so the need to see your pain through your eyes, that is the rush.

A new submissive or slave to the lifestyle will take most anything that is dished out and then some, be it verbal, mental and yes physical. They will take what ever just to please, hoping to find the one, but most of all acceptance.

Most have been a Slave or submissive all their life, but did not have a clue about the lifestyle or what they are. The sub, or slave just knows they are different, and most do not fit in the average circle of friends, and no one to talk to about their feelings. I have talked to slaves who had feelings at a very young age, early teens. Some find out at a young age then there are late bloomers in their 30’s 40’s and even 50’s.

Most men not just Dominants think with their cock, every 40 or 50 year old dominant wants a 18 year old slave. It can be fun for short term but I have seen very few last. I was the same way so I am speaking from experience. I found I was babysitting much of the time. I am not saying there are not those who are mature at that age, because there are.

I prefer an older slave, someone who has experienced life, someone who is mature. Now it is not to say that if I had not met Arianna it is possible I would of met someone much younger, although that is not what I was looking for in a relationship, we cannot help who we like of fall in love with.

A lot of younger subs or slave prefer older dominants those who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, those with experience. Would a 20 yr old submissive really consider a 20 year old dominant? maybe just maybe but at such a young age what does the dominant really know about the lifestyle, or how to implement structure in someones life, enforce rules, but most of all stay in control, and not be controlling. Just my thoughts you do not have to agree with me.

So you meet a New dominant for the first time. Dinner someplace public. Then you jump in the car and head for the nearest Motel. He ties you up, blindfolds you and the HELL starts, you have never been beating so bad in your life, fucked in every hole even if you had limits in place. The next day you can hardly walk, your black and blue, or worse something is broking. Okay lets say you suck it up, take about a week to heal, your going to either stay away or your going to try it one more time.

To most sadist if he is not looking for a relationship, he is just looking to put another notch in his belt, you were a piece of meat for the night, he busted a nut you went home crying. I am speaking from experience here I am not just running off at the mouth. To many are to eager to please, they could care less if they are pleased. To many are eager to meet someone and allow someone to use them. It many cases the after the fact is to late.

So just how far is to extreme? how far do you really need to go to find the one? better yet how much are you going to take?

I have said before have a list ready, your needs, your do nots, and your limits, and what you expect out of a relationship. Stick to the list do not bend from it. Once you give in your just another notch in someones belt. I know I had one belt I had to replace because there was no room for anymore notches.

Believe me when I say this you can get hurt, you can get hurt bad, and chances are you will not go to the police and explain why you let a stranger tie you up and beat you.

Just think, as your pulling into a denny’s how far is to extreme.



Tish Moved In

Posted in 24/7, anticipation, bdsm, Bound, chain, Chained to the floor, codependent, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Friends, Master, needy, Safe, slave, submissive on December 30, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know it has been only a short time, but here we go. I was set to move, I was going to move to Tennessee so I could be closer to my dad. He is in the first stages of Dementia, and my step mother, did not want the responsibility. Although my brother is close by, he has somewhat of a temper, and we all know yelling does not get you anyplace.

My step mother, was forgetting to give some medications, which would land my father in the hospital, for several days, until they got his meds straightened out.. Then at one point she had him committed , because she said she was scared of my dad.

So I called my step mother, which I do not do often, we clash really bad, because I see through her. She knows I think she is as worthless as a screen door on a submarine.

She handed me a sob story how she has been dealing with his condition for two years. I said your a fucking liar, 8 months ago he was well enough to buy a 350.000 dollar house, and a 42.000 dollar car, and a hand gun from a gun show. She wanted to put him in a VA nursing home, because for my dad it would of been free, and she would have his retirement all to herself. I made a few phone calls to his doctors , I explained everything, and now things are going well. She will text me but no calls. I will visit as often as I can. I already had a house picked out,  found a job, but you know things happen, and they happen for a reason.

Tish approached me I guess late last week, and posed the question about moving in. Her lease was just about up anyway. I told her I thought we would get along very well. The way we clicked, the things we had in common, our communication,and most of all I truly understood her.

Her lease was up in February , and I was fine with that, but the more we talked and spent time together, she began to have separation issues, she had to be with me every night. It was getting to the point she did not even want to go to work. So to keep things on a steady flow, I agreed.

It has really been awesome, we get along like we have known each other for years, we have a lot in common, with the exception of music. Tish is more into Pop music, while I am more into the loud Ted Nugent type rock, but I am fine two cannot like everything.

Tish and I had talked the other day, she was having issues with just being away from me for even a couple of hours. She had a lost feeling, she would become insecure, an empty feeling. She explained I was like her security blanket….

This is to all those who are submissive or a slave, those feelings are normal,and they do get worse before they get better. The feeling is like a rush, a rush you have never felt. The good news is in time, it does ease up.

Many subs or slaves are codependent, we as dominants need to understand. If you  want such a relationship with a sub or slave, then you need to be able to take them for who and what they are including all the baggage if they should come with any.  Being codependent is something a dominant needs to accept, in some cases being insecure even when there is no reason. The need to be clingy in another big one, and we need to be willing to listen.

Tish is really amazed at how well I am about remembering everything. I forget nothing. Another good trait a Dominant has, we not only hear but we do listen, even it seems we are not.

Tish was worried about the commute , her CRV has a lot of mileage, so last week I started looking for a car that got better gas mileage, and lower miles. I found a nice Grand Am, that fits her perfect, and with only about 73.000 miles on it. Rides much better than her CRV, and she says it is fun to drive. When we are out, she drives anyway, I really hate driving.

So I have implemented 25 rules. They were structured toward Tish as I stated before. As I learn more about her, I may take some away and add new ones.

Now have I gave Tish my collar? Not as of yet, that will take time, she will have to earn the right to wear my collar. How long will that take? Well that depends on her. I am going to say six months maybe a year. A collar is earned, it is not just giving. There is no way a Dominant could possibly know someone in any shorter than six months to ask a sub or slave to wear his collar.

Tish likes being bound at night. I bought a chain and pad lock, this really makes her feel secure at night, it also gives her the feeling of being owned, more so than lets say leather cuffs. So at night be ask permission to enter the bed, and she hands the chain to me. I lock it around her



My World My Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, and Respect, bdsm, BDSM Safety, blow job, Bond, Bondage, Bound, Chained to the floor, Collars, control, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Friends, Friendship, Health, Hot, life, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, Patience, pleasure, Protocol, Protocol public, Respect, Rules, sadist, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, TPE, Trust, Verbal abuse on December 26, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was single for well over a year, during and prior I made a couple of mistakes and bad choices in partners, and there are those I wish I had never met, and those who are total nightmares.

When we do not take the time to think clearly, our heads get fucked up, it is almost like a cloud settles over our brain, and it causes us to have bad judgement. Sometimes we settle for less just so we have the companionship, even though we know deep down it is not going to work. Then at times we put to much effort into a relationship when we know the same thing, it is not going to work.

While in a relationship some may think my way is a one way street, I suppose if you looked at it from the outside I could see where one might think that. One might get the impression I am selfish, I can also see that. The truth is you have to really get to know me. I told Tish the same thing. You have to watch, listen and observe, because I am not going to tell you everything, if your truly interested you should want to do so. So far things are going perfect.

I run the house no questions asked. I make all the decisions no questions asked. What I did make clear however , because we are all not perfect. If she was to see an easier way, or maybe I am about to make a mistake, I want to hear her point of view, and I would listen. I have made mistakes in the past and I have paid the price. If I am at anytime wrong, I will be the first to admit it.

I was looking for a slave, not a submissive, a real slave who was true or wanted to learn about the lifestyle , and my way, and only my way. I am not going to change. I tried once before when I got married, the worst mistake I had ever made, but I was a man and stepped up to the plate. I was not out fucking behind any ones back. Ive gone over this before no one really seems to give a fuck so I am going to drop it.

I am Dominant 24/7, I just cannot turn it off like some are able to. I wanted a slave who was a slave 24/7, not just in the bedroom. That is like finding a Buddhist monk , that lives in an Amish town, yea next to impossible.

I found one, or she found me to tell you the truth. She is beautiful, stable, a little emotional at times, but aren’t all women at times, fuck even some men are. She has a good career, has been employed at the same place now for 13 years. Did I mention she is beautiful, and hot, with a body built for sin. Yea.

Tish craves submission , she craves accountability , she craves structure, she craves guidance. Tish needs all of the above. She needs rules, which were structured toward her needs and not mine. Tish craves consistency, Tish craves communication, Tish craves attention, she wants to be held at night, during the day, she wants to know she is number one, and the only one. I cannot understand a Dominant or top who has to have more than one at his feet. All my needs and then some are being met, without question or hesitation.

When I say slave, I am not looking for a house keeper, a cook, or someone do do my laundry. I did all of that before I met her.

Like me Tish is big on protocol, Protocol is part of her submission, again she not only craves she needs, this falls under acceptance.

She truly enjoys being spanked, Everyone knows I love bare handed spankings, back to my ass fetish. She loves bondage, which I love, she loves control. At night she has the need to be bound, being bound makes her feel safe. So we went to Home depot, I purchased a 5ft chain and two pad locks. One end goes around her neck, and locked, the other around the bed frame. This makes her feel safe, secure, but most of all owned. At night she sleeps like a baby, and she knows should she have to go to the bathroom she can wake me.

If and when company arrives she greets them, offers them a seat, at this point and time, Tish goes into a service mode, she offers drinks or what ever the guest may need. If I tell her to sit she does if not she stands behind me. Although I am big on protocol, she needs this, she has the need to please.

Our daily routine, we wake. I make Tish a cup of coffee and we sit and talk, until it is time for her to go to work at which time I make her a cup to go. Through out the day I receive text from her, I want to know how she is doing. Breakfast she tells me what the choices are and I choose what she is to eat, lunch the same thing, she will text me the options and again I choose. I cook a lot so I do most of the cooking, I enjoy cooking. I fix her plate then mine, we sit at the table. She is not to begin eating until after I have taking the first bite. At that time she may begin, this is public or private. After dinner, this is our talk time. She is allowed to say anything that might be on her mind. I want to know in more detail about how her day way. I want to know what is on her mind, any concerns she may have. Our talks usually last about a half hour. Then depending on how she is feeling its play time.

The above is an everyday ritual , all of the above that I have mentioned is what Tish told me she needed. I am consistent in our daily activities , there are no exceptions.

When out to eat I order her food and drink which is water most of the time, again she does not begin to eat until after I have taking the first bite. She does call me Master public or private. She is not a bedroom slave. I choose the clothes she is going to wear, I will pick the pants or skirt and I let her show me the different tops and I choose.

Safe word, many are going to get upset about this. I do not use a safe word. Why?  I started out in the lifestyle as a sadist, I was a sadist for about 12 years or so, then I slowly began to calm down, my needs changed. My wants changed as well. After Bea and I went our separate ways. I could clearly see the mistakes I had made, and it was or is my full intentions on not making them again. Now the safe word thing.  If you really care, you can tell by her eyes when she has had enough, her body movements, or even verbal. If she had asked about a safe word I would of allowed. She will tell you I have never hurt or caused any pain.

What do I get out of all of this? What are my rewards? Well pretty much anything I want or need, although sex is not the main part of a relationship, it is there for my taking, at times it is about me, but most of the time I make sure Tish is pleased. Her needs are met. I have an awesome friend, someone I can talk to, an open line of communication. Someone who likes to go out . She loves to give head, she loves anal, and at times I love the female on top, most subs or slaves do not like that, but she rides it is just wow, and she is able to cum in that position.

The structured rules I put in place, at some point and time I will add more as I see fit. It is important not to try and overwhelm someone with a bunch of since less rules, that does not benefit the slave in anyway . To many since less rules can set one up for failure, more so if they are just sexual based.

Tish has learned a great deal in a short time, she has or is learning it is okay to say NO. She is learning it is okay that not everyone likes her. She has learned it is okay that she does not have to gain acceptance from everyone around her. She has learned that while not with me, it is okay to put her foot down, and stand her ground. She has learned that when she feels there is to much on her plate, I can take some of that away, and let her know there are options.

This ladies and gentlemen is what the lifestyle is about. As much as I would like for it to be a one way street, it is not.  There is no arguing, none, the main reason being we know where we both stand. There is no verbal abuse, no physical abuse, no mental abuse.

The relationship is not about us Dominants it is solely about the sub or slave. They gives us their needs and we implement a structured plan, to insure they are getting everything they need out of the relationship. The relationship is clearly not all about me. The relationship is about Tish and only Tish. I insure her needs are met at all times. I highly believe in aftercare, proper aftercare can and will prevent sub-drop.

I am very structured as well. I have zero drama in my life, and I will not allow or stand for it. I have recently let a few friends go just because of their drama. I have zero anger issues. I take care of problems before they become problems.



A Starving Tish

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Bound, communication, control, Conversation, Dominants, Email, Ex Dominant, Rules, Safe, Task on December 11, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Three weeks and counting, it seems like we are just in the flow of things now. Our communication is like no other.

I set time aside every night to just talk. This is free time to say what ever is on her mind. The subject can be anything, usually a half hour to an hour. It is less stressful when a slave knows she can be open and let her feelings flow. Knowing she is not judged or having the worry of getting into trouble.

Tish’s ex Dom and I went round and round for a couple of days, but I was able to take a bad situation, and turn it around. My emails are now welcome.

I went from being an asshole, to I was someone who did not know what I was doing, I did not have a clue to what Tish needed.  The emails were pretty abusive towards Tish.

Now he thinks I will be good for Tish, he now see’s me being a positive factor in her life. He finely admitted he may have messed up in some areas. He is there is I need any advice.

The problem was while in a D’s relationship, the vanilla part was absent. It was Master and Slave only. Tish does have a mild depression problem, and when she was emotional, his answer was take a pill and lay down. When your acting normal we can talk, or do not email me when your being emotional.

So the other day Tish asked me about rules. You cannot just meet someone over dinner and hand out a load of rules. This takes time to put into place, because you have to learn the slave.

Her man focus is structure, simple task, and a few rules. So I sit down and thought about Tish. I did not think about me. What was it Tish needed.

Twenty basic rules that fit Tish’s needs. The rules had nothing to do with me, like the 128 basic rules. The rules were all about Tish.

Last night we were talking, I like her facing me, eye to eye. She said where is your strictness at. You always speak of being strict. The fact of the matter is, I am very strict, but if I were to just dump a load of stuff on her mind, it would be like an over load, and here comes the crash. I explained she had to not only get use to the twenty rules, she had to implement them in her everyday life. I started with little task. One of the main ones was for her to start going back to her mediation class on Sundays. This is good down time for the mind.

She feels very comfortable being with me, now she is able to talk, and it is just not Master and Slave. At night she likes to be bound, I love the body tape.  When bound she sleeps very peaceful, she feels safe. She likes to be held, and touched, she loves the feeling of being owned, and cared for, knowing she comes first.

As Dominants we have to put our slave first. We have to stay focused, more important we need to stay consistent, which Tish did notice that about me, and thanked me.

Tish’s Ex Dom told me of all these problems he had with her, her emotional break downs, just on and on. I have seen none of these as of yet, and we are together almost everyday.

Earlier this year Tish went through what one would, some trials and tribulations , made some mistakes, a few bad judgement calls, but to me it was really normal because , at that time it is what she needed. Of course all of this was thrown back into her face, when she finely broke things off with her Ex Dom. She would fly to Ohio almost every weekend , and I am guessing that was stressful alone.

All in all things are going well. Better than I expected. Last year was not a good year for me, I went through a couple of bad relationships, my error. When we just want to fill a void, we tend to settle for less, knowing from the start it is not going to work. It is good at that time.