Once I fully recovered from my break up with Bea, I began to search yet again for the one. The one who was suppose to fill that void. The one who was suppose to be my best friend and submissive.
It is funny to a submissive I am very strict, almost unbearable, no breathing room. To a slave I am not strict enough. A week ago I posted about my daily life. How many of those who are submissive could endure a daily life as such. To a slave at times I am not in control of enough, and at times I am not strict enough.
Being a Dominant over a slave is much more in depth than a Dominant over a submissive, the control is much different, and I do believe the bond runs much deeper.
The training, every time I bring up the word train it sounds out of place, but in fact that is what we as Dominants are doing. It even runs as deep as making some behavioral modifications. We control time, we control almost every movement, we control food, bath, sleep, and dress. We who are in a relationship with a slave, are in control nearly 24/7.
Yesterday I gave Tish some down time, to relax, her own space. I saw that it was much needed, even before yesterday. To do what ever she wanted, listen to music, her journal, or sleep which she has no problem with, Tish is like cat when it comes to sleep.
So the training process, every Slave is different, every slave has different needs. I had implemented many things. I had taking control of almost her daily life. Even to to point of cutting her spending down. This was her needs, this is what she told me she needed, so I had to sit down and come up with a workable plan, so that she would still be able to function in everyday life. It is almost like upgrading windows in your computer. The one thing you have to make certain is, every step you take, you have to insure everything is about the slave, everything is about the betterment of the slave. Just as the rules and guidelines should be.
It really kills me to see a submissive show me a copy of their rules, and yes I do get rules emailed to me. The rules state you must worship your master cock. You must worship your masters body. You will suck my cock on demand.
The truth is for those of you who are not spending 24/7 together , the submissive spends more time sucking cock than having actual sex, so at least you know where you stand in the relationship. Do not even say its not true, because I am guilty of having subs do the same thing back in the day. We go a couple of months without seeing you, then I wake and think man I need some good head.
Tish and I attended our first munch Friday night, another Dom had stopped by and picked us up. Tish was really nervous about going and being around other people. I was not nervous but the last time I had seen the Dom who was hosting the munch we were almost nose to nose in a heated argument. I must say things were much different, both of us were very welcomed, E and I got along very well. Tish did relax and was able to give her input into a couple of different topics that were covered.
On the way to the munch Tish was somewhat nervous, it was her first, and did not know what to expect. So I get a text from Tish who is sitting in the back seat, and Rob ask me if she just text me. I answered yea why. Robs reply was I was enabling her. Well while I did not answer her, this is an agreement Tish and I have about open communication, and she felt what she had to say was only for me, and I fully understood.
So the training process is off to a good start, I know I get off track at times. The fact is a Master/ Slave relationship is well and alive today. It is hard for some of the submissives to see that type of a relationship in a visual sense. Or even a submissive living such a life.
The Slave is the one who ask the Master if he will take her as his slave. The slave lays out the ground work of how she see’s an M’s relationship in her eyes. She tells the master what she needs out of the relationship. Then the Master either agrees he can or he cannot.
Tish is not difficult, we are at a Micromanagement type relationship. What rights does she have? Only the rights I allow.Now before anyone jumps to any conclusion all of this has been discussed in great detail. The relationship is about the slaves needs, not wants but needs. The idea situation is to slowly implement rules, or as I call guidelines. Doing so slowly but being consistent does not overwhelm the slave. A slow gradual process so nothing is really noticed, or if it is noticed, it is not enough to bring on any stress.
So during the munch we were all talking about 24/7 TPE Total Power Exchange. E made the comment that if were really in a TPE I would have control over Tish’s bank account. My reply was as a matter of fact I do have complete control over her bank account, and she is held accountable for everything she spends. The conversation ended there. Although I do have control, I do not touch her money. Her money is just that. Again this is control she wanted to give up.
To me a TPE is an ideal relationship for me anyway. The thing that is almost impossible is to find a Dominant who is not going to take advantage of the slave, not only on an emotional level, but mental as well.
Being with a slave is not just fun and games like most think. I hear men all the time, make statements on how they would love to have a relationship like mine, but when I explain all the details, they just look at me.
I do not have a book or an manual to go by, I do not have a check list I go by, everything is stashed away upstairs. Now what I have to do is remember everything, and stay consistent in the relationship. Another important factor is our life is not surrounded by just BDSM , we are best friends, we talk and laugh. We play cards together. Then the most important part is our nightly talks face to face on the bed, before I allow her to sleep. Once she enters the bed , she picks up her chain and I lock it around her neck, then our conversation begins. I prefer a chain to lets say leather cuffs or a leather collar because a chain gives her a greater piece of mind, she feels more owned. I will say she sleeps very peaceful.
I have tried relationships with those who are submissive, and it never works. I need the control, it is a 24/7 need. I do not have a switch I can turn on and off. The above is why I needed to be in a relationship with a slave and not a submissive..
One site I have found to be very helpful over the years. is called Best Slave Training. I truly recommend this to all Dominants. It is not to be used word for word, but to read and understand, and implement your own style of training.