Archive for the chain Category

Our Collaring Ceremony

Posted in bdsm, Bond, chain, Collar, collaring ceremony, slave, submissive, The Ceremony of the Roses. on March 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Well there comes a time when something just feels right. In the world of BDSM a Collar is earned it is not giving. A submissive or slave must prove they are worthy of wearing their masters collar.

How is one worthy? The truth is there are not many who are truly submissive or a slave, far and few between. Then there are those who are only submissive in the bedroom. That is fine and good for those such a lifestyle fits.

Being compliant is first on my list, adjusting to my surroundings is second. Adjusting to my way is third, following my rules , my protocol. You never question my actions, unless I am about to make a mistake, which is very seldom. I think things out clearly before acting. The way one acts in public, as well as private. The willingness to please and serve, but the main thing of course is communication, an open line of communication at all times. If I ask a direct question, I want a direct answer, not an explanation. If it is a yes or no question that is what I want, not an explanation.

To a submissive or slave adaptability is most important, most can and have no problem, but there are those who are somewhat high strung. In time that can be fixed.

The Dominant must stay on a consistent role. The Dominant cannot give rules that are out of touch, or reality. The Dominant cannot change rules midway to fit his needs. The Dominant cannot just sit around and wait on one to make a mistake. Beating is not always the answer. In five months I have punished Arianna one time. I had to think about it before hand, because it was something I truly did not want to do. On the other hand if I had not followed through with the punishment I would not of been the Dominant Arianna thought I was or what I had told her. Punishing her made her respect me that much more.

Arianna is the most compliant slave I have ever met, she craves to please and serve, she does not want to, it is a deep need. Arianna also knows I look out for her best interest. Arianna knows she can come to me about anything and speak freely and openly. Arianna knows at times I let her stumble, but I pick her back up. If you the Dominant only knows the word no, how fair is that to the submissive or slave. You have to say yes sometimes , and if it turns out to be a mistake we fix it, then we explain.

The truth be known last month I asked Arianna if I could collar her. Her answer was she was not ready, I understood, and I agreed after we talked about it. Well something changed this month and she explained she was ready to take the next step. She would gladly except my collar. She went one step further and she proposed. I declined for now on the proposal, only because I have to really think about that.  I do see us as long term, I see neither of us going anyplace anytime soon. We fit like peanut butter and jelly. I just may take her up on that.

So I began looking for a collar. It had to be special, and unique. I really love the Eternity Collars, but they are made in mass production. So I contacted houseofcollars. The man was awesome. I measured Arianna’s neck, and he made it to fit. There are some imperfections in the collar but that is what makes it special. I ordered it last Tuesday and it arrived Saturday. It has a removable O ring which is much better. Stainless steel in a Matt finish. It locks and only I can remove it.


We are having the ceremony in Orlando. I have a very good friend, I want to perform the ceremony. We are expecting 25 to 30 people, a small ceremony.

I bought Arianna a long Back Dress, to wear, nice but simple, it almost touches the ground. She will wear simple flats. She wants to order a cake, a red velvet with the BDSM symbol in the middle with our names on it.

The ceremony is very special. It is called The Ceremony of the Roses.

The formal lifestyle is filled with traditions and ceremonies that are seldom witnessed by the outside world and perhaps one of the most moving and meaningful is the “bonding ritual” or Ceremony of the Roses. This ceremony is steeped in symbolism and mystique that dates back for centuries. Here is a brief description of what it involves and means

An Eternal Bond A couple who has decided to remain together for the duration of their lives and beyond will often opt for this ritual as a symbolic statement of their eternal commitment. It is sometimes used to renew a relationship that has gone through a difficult time and survived the test. There are many variations and couples often choose to add special touches to make it uniquely theirs.

The ceremony is never public. Most often only the couple and one or two of their closest associates attend. The submissive carries a single white rose, not quite in full bloom. The Dominant holds a single red rose that is opened almost fully. Both roses must have thorns on their stems and be freshly cut. To perform two other parts of this ritual, a 6-8 foot length of light chain is also required along with several candles or an alcohol burner (or other liquid fuel , such as a good serving dish might use).

The couple, along with one or two of their closest friends, stand facing each other. The submissive, wearing a simple dress, holds her single white rose. Her Dominant, holding his red rose, removes her collar. He passes it quickly through the flames of a small burner and returns it to her neck. As he fastens it securely, he makes a declaration to her that he will protect and guide her for all of eternity.

With a thorn on the stem of his red rose, he pricks her middle finger and lets two drops of blood fall on the white petals of her rose. She then offers the thorns of her rose to him and he pricks his own finger. He lets two drops fall to her rose, one alone and one on top of a drop of hers.

Their witnesses or friends take a length of light-weight chain and pass it quickly though the flame and wrap it around the couple. They again make their vows to be bound by their souls for eternity. The roses are touched together, letting the blood from hers kiss his, and are then exchanged. The chain is removed and wrapped carefully in a cloth to be given to the couple when the ceremony has ended. The roses are put into a single vase and will later be taken to their private chamber to remain as a reminder to them as they contemplate their new bond that night while joining their bodies.

In the morning, they share their hopes and dreams of being together for eternity and pluck the petals from the roses to place them in a container together. These petals are kept for the lifetime of the couple and a portion of them are buried with each in death. The chain is passed down in the family or given to an honored friend who will use it in their own bonding ceremony.

The Symbolism Revealed

The significance of the roses.

The ceremony will take place on the 26th or April possibly the 27th. I will know the exact date here in a couple of days.

The collaring of a submissive or slave should be very special, not in some Hotel room or over at your house and the Dominant says here put this on. The Collaring should be very special, something to remember..



Bondage The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

Posted in Aphrodisiac, bdsm, Bondage, chain, Chained to the floor, control, Fantasy, Fear, Flogger, Master, Mind Fuck, Safe, Safe and Sane, session, sex, slave, sub-space, submissive on February 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of us in the lifestyle use Bondage as a form of play, just as we do spanking. Even those who are vanilla dabble in a little kink from time to time.

To me Bondage means so much more, Bondage puts one in a different frame of mind, a since of security, sub-space, and at times the mind is zoning, not really thinking of anything your mind is just blank.

Arianna enjoys Bondage, but to her it is more of a comfort zone, she feels safe, and secure, it puts her mind at peace. I remember not long ago I had her tied up and blindfolded, and it was not long until she just started rambling. What she was saying made no sense at all, a little giggly. She felt safe yet vulnerable, open and exposed.

Arianna loves to be restrained at night, this is done when I want. I do at times when she makes the request, but if I did it every time she made the request who would be in control. I have a very heavy chain that is attached to the bed, then up and around her neck. I do keep the key close at hand in case of an emergency. I also have cuffs that attach to the bed, when cuffed she is fully open.

I seldom have sex while I am tying up, this is her time. This is her release, and at times I tie her down and leave the room and she naps while restrained.

I myself have never been tied up, and I can assure you that will never happen, the thought of being tied up has never crossed my mind, I am not a switch, nor do I desire to be.

Although during bondage sub-space is seldom reached, but you the dominant can help the submissive reach that point once bound and blindfolded, just through peaceful conversation, reminding her of her place. The things you want to do to her. Slightly running your fingers across her body, not touching her breast or vagina.

Great care must be taking during play. Nothing at all around the neck, you would really be surprised at how easy it is to hurt someone. Although I do use a chain at night I leave it lose enough not to cause any choking . We Doms have a Dom-space we go to at times, so it is very important we stay in the right frame of mind. There are times I have to sit down and take a breather because I get so excited, and I need to clear my head.

At times I also use what I call a total mind-fuck bondage. Maybe six or eight months ago I was seeing Lyn the married Jehovah Witness , yea I know go figure. Anyway I had her tied down spread eagle. I was using my flogger on her, and every time I would make contact she would tighten up. We got to the point where it was getting to intense for her, and wanted to be untied.  I told her to move her legs and arms towards her, once she did the ropes almost fell off, and she was able to get lose. A total mind fuck.

Bondage can be beautiful, I am not to artistic , I do plan on learning some basic Japanese bondage such as the dragon sleeve, but I am not into the full drop dress stuff, way to time consuming to me.



Why a Slave and not a Submissive

Posted in 24/7, bdsm,, Bond, Busy, chain, Change, codependent, Collars, Consensual, control, Conversation, Discipline, discussion group, Dominants, emotional, events, Friends, life, Master, Masters, molding your slave, munchs, needy, Open Minded, Protocol, relationships, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, slave, Task, Text, TPE, training your slave on January 8, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile


Once I fully recovered from my break up with Bea, I began to search yet again for the one. The one who was suppose to fill that void. The one who was suppose to be my best friend and submissive.
It is funny to a submissive I am very strict, almost unbearable, no breathing room. To a slave I am not strict enough. A week ago I posted about my daily life. How many of those who are submissive could endure a daily life as such. To a slave at times I am not in control of enough, and at times I am not strict enough.
Being a Dominant over a slave is much more in depth than a Dominant over a submissive, the control is much different, and I do believe the bond runs much deeper.
The training, every time I bring up the word train it sounds out of place, but in fact that is what we as Dominants are doing. It even runs as deep as making some behavioral modifications. We control time, we control almost every movement, we control food, bath, sleep, and dress. We who are in a relationship with a slave, are in control nearly 24/7.
Yesterday I gave Tish some down time, to relax, her own space. I saw that it was much needed, even before yesterday. To do what ever she wanted, listen to music, her journal, or sleep which she has no problem with, Tish is like cat when it comes to sleep.
So the training process, every Slave is different, every slave has different needs. I had implemented many things. I had taking control of almost her daily life. Even to to point of cutting her spending down.  This was her needs, this is what she told me she needed, so I had to sit down and come up with a workable plan, so that she would still be able to function in everyday life. It is almost like upgrading windows in your computer. The one thing you have to make certain is, every step you take, you have to insure everything is about the slave, everything is about the betterment of the slave.  Just as the rules and guidelines should be.
It really kills me to see a submissive show me a copy of their rules, and yes I do get rules emailed to me. The rules state you must worship your master cock. You must worship your masters body. You will suck my cock on demand.
The truth is for those of you who are not spending 24/7 together , the submissive spends more time sucking cock than having actual sex, so at least you know where you stand in the relationship. Do not even say its not true, because I am guilty of having subs do the same thing back in the day. We go a couple of months without seeing you, then I wake and think man I need some good head.
Tish and I attended our first munch Friday night, another Dom had stopped by and picked us up. Tish was really nervous about going and being around other people. I was not nervous but the last time I had seen the Dom who was hosting the munch we were almost nose to nose in a heated argument. I must say things were much different, both of us were very welcomed, E and I got along very well. Tish did relax and was able to give her input into a couple of different topics that were covered.
On the way to the munch Tish was somewhat nervous, it was her first, and did not know what to expect. So I get a text from Tish who is sitting in the back seat, and Rob ask me if she just text me. I answered yea why. Robs reply was I was enabling her. Well while I did not answer her, this is an agreement Tish and I have about open communication, and she felt what she had to say was only for me, and I fully understood.
So the training process is off to a good start, I know I get off track at times. The fact is a Master/ Slave relationship is well and alive today. It is hard for some of the submissives to see that type of a relationship in a visual sense. Or even a submissive living such a life.
The Slave is the one who ask the Master if he will take her as his slave. The slave lays out the ground work of how she see’s an M’s relationship in her eyes. She tells the master what she needs out of the relationship. Then the Master either agrees he can or he cannot.

Tish is not difficult, we are at a Micromanagement type relationship. What rights does she have? Only the rights I allow.Now before anyone jumps to any conclusion all of this has been discussed in great detail. The relationship is about the slaves needs, not wants but needs. The idea situation is to slowly implement rules, or as I call guidelines. Doing so slowly but being consistent does not overwhelm the slave. A slow gradual process  so nothing is really noticed, or if it is noticed, it is not enough to bring on any stress.

So during the munch we were all talking about 24/7 TPE Total Power Exchange. E made the comment that if were really in a TPE I would have control over Tish’s bank account. My reply was as a matter of fact I do have complete control over her bank account, and she is held accountable for everything she spends. The conversation ended there. Although I do have control, I do not touch her money. Her money is just that. Again this is control she wanted to give up.

To me a TPE is an ideal relationship for me anyway. The thing that is almost impossible is to find a Dominant who is not going to take advantage of the slave, not only on an emotional level, but mental as well.

Being with a slave is not just fun and games like most think. I hear men all the time, make statements on how they would love to have a relationship like mine, but when I explain all the details, they just look at me.

I do not have a book or an manual to go by, I do not have a check list I go by, everything is stashed away upstairs. Now what I have to do is remember everything, and stay consistent in the relationship. Another important factor is our life is not surrounded by just BDSM , we are best friends, we talk and laugh. We play cards together. Then the most important part is our nightly talks face to face on the bed, before I allow her to sleep. Once she enters the bed , she picks up her chain and I lock it around her neck, then our conversation begins. I prefer a chain to lets say leather cuffs or a leather collar because a chain gives her a greater piece of mind, she feels more owned. I will say she sleeps very peaceful.

I have tried relationships with those who are submissive, and it never works. I need the control, it is a 24/7 need. I do not have a switch I can turn on and off. The above is why I needed to be in a relationship with a slave and not a submissive..

One site I have found to be very helpful over the years. is called Best Slave Training. I truly recommend this to all Dominants. It is not to be used word for word, but to read and understand, and implement your own style of training.



Tish Moved In

Posted in 24/7, anticipation, bdsm, Bound, chain, Chained to the floor, codependent, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Friends, Master, needy, Safe, slave, submissive on December 30, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know it has been only a short time, but here we go. I was set to move, I was going to move to Tennessee so I could be closer to my dad. He is in the first stages of Dementia, and my step mother, did not want the responsibility. Although my brother is close by, he has somewhat of a temper, and we all know yelling does not get you anyplace.

My step mother, was forgetting to give some medications, which would land my father in the hospital, for several days, until they got his meds straightened out.. Then at one point she had him committed , because she said she was scared of my dad.

So I called my step mother, which I do not do often, we clash really bad, because I see through her. She knows I think she is as worthless as a screen door on a submarine.

She handed me a sob story how she has been dealing with his condition for two years. I said your a fucking liar, 8 months ago he was well enough to buy a 350.000 dollar house, and a 42.000 dollar car, and a hand gun from a gun show. She wanted to put him in a VA nursing home, because for my dad it would of been free, and she would have his retirement all to herself. I made a few phone calls to his doctors , I explained everything, and now things are going well. She will text me but no calls. I will visit as often as I can. I already had a house picked out,  found a job, but you know things happen, and they happen for a reason.

Tish approached me I guess late last week, and posed the question about moving in. Her lease was just about up anyway. I told her I thought we would get along very well. The way we clicked, the things we had in common, our communication,and most of all I truly understood her.

Her lease was up in February , and I was fine with that, but the more we talked and spent time together, she began to have separation issues, she had to be with me every night. It was getting to the point she did not even want to go to work. So to keep things on a steady flow, I agreed.

It has really been awesome, we get along like we have known each other for years, we have a lot in common, with the exception of music. Tish is more into Pop music, while I am more into the loud Ted Nugent type rock, but I am fine two cannot like everything.

Tish and I had talked the other day, she was having issues with just being away from me for even a couple of hours. She had a lost feeling, she would become insecure, an empty feeling. She explained I was like her security blanket….

This is to all those who are submissive or a slave, those feelings are normal,and they do get worse before they get better. The feeling is like a rush, a rush you have never felt. The good news is in time, it does ease up.

Many subs or slaves are codependent, we as dominants need to understand. If you  want such a relationship with a sub or slave, then you need to be able to take them for who and what they are including all the baggage if they should come with any.  Being codependent is something a dominant needs to accept, in some cases being insecure even when there is no reason. The need to be clingy in another big one, and we need to be willing to listen.

Tish is really amazed at how well I am about remembering everything. I forget nothing. Another good trait a Dominant has, we not only hear but we do listen, even it seems we are not.

Tish was worried about the commute , her CRV has a lot of mileage, so last week I started looking for a car that got better gas mileage, and lower miles. I found a nice Grand Am, that fits her perfect, and with only about 73.000 miles on it. Rides much better than her CRV, and she says it is fun to drive. When we are out, she drives anyway, I really hate driving.

So I have implemented 25 rules. They were structured toward Tish as I stated before. As I learn more about her, I may take some away and add new ones.

Now have I gave Tish my collar? Not as of yet, that will take time, she will have to earn the right to wear my collar. How long will that take? Well that depends on her. I am going to say six months maybe a year. A collar is earned, it is not just giving. There is no way a Dominant could possibly know someone in any shorter than six months to ask a sub or slave to wear his collar.

Tish likes being bound at night. I bought a chain and pad lock, this really makes her feel secure at night, it also gives her the feeling of being owned, more so than lets say leather cuffs. So at night be ask permission to enter the bed, and she hands the chain to me. I lock it around her



I Was Somewhat Annoyed Last Night

Posted in abuse, Annoyed, bdsm, bi-sexual, Bond, Bondage, chain, Chained to the floor, Cherish, Christians, Consensual, controlling, Dominants, Email, fetlife, Friends, Friendship, fucking, Health, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, poly, Protocol, pussy, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, sharing, slave, sucking dick, Text, Trust, Vanilla, Verbal abuse on December 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Tish and I had just finished Dinner, and a knock at the door, a very good friend of mine came over , but she did not recognize him because he was not in uniform, once he told her who he was I told her to let him in. He has a habit of just showing up, but we are really close so I do not mind.

He had his slave with him, I guess they had just returned from Orlando. I could tell almost immediately that their main focus was on Tish, so I just kinda went with the flow of things. We have been really good friends for a couple of years, soI tend to look over a lot of things.

I could see him looking at his slave, as if he was waiting on something, and the subject of sharing came up again. We had already been over this or I thought,, maybe I did not make myself clear the first time.

I am not going to post pictures of Tish on here, but I did post one of us at Seaworld on my FB in my group. You have to be a member to see, sorry about that. Tish is really smoking hot, a little taller than I am, as a matter of fact I am the shortest man she has ever dated.

Anyway I just cannot believe the subject even came up again, with my friend knowing how I feel about sharing. I forget what we were talking about, and out of the blue his slave says so you do not share. Tish was standing by in the service position, and I had to remind her about offering company drinks. I did not really say anything Tish is still in the learning mode, and it does take time.

So again I explain why I do not share. Now if for some reason Tish wanted to be with a female, which she does not, I would allow, and I would not take part in anyway.. She has been with a woman before, and does not really care for it.

If I just out right told her to she would, and not even hesitate, but it would only be to please me.

Here is the thing, we as Dominants are to take care of ours. I have been mentoring a young couple who both has anger issues, but the male when he gets upset, he tends to say some very nasty things. that are very hurtful.

So I asked him, give me one good reason why you two should argue? I am just asking for one reason. He could not answer, as a matter of fact anyone reading this cannot give me a reason. She on the other hand gets angry because he has trouble telling the truth. that I can somewhat understand, but it is still not a valid reason to argue.You call him out on it confront and let it go.

Ladies, subs and slaves, here is my way of thinking. A woman no matter what her status is, vanilla, submissive, or slave. Cooks the mans meals, does his laundry, keeps the house clean. Here is the kicker, she lays on her back spreads her legs, sucks his dick, gives up the ass , and the male is going to disrespect her, get the fuck out.

Now I love to cook, I do not mind doing the dishes, I will even throw in a load of laundry, not much on folding. I was looking for a slave not a house keeper, or mother.

So if your woman is going to lay on her back and take pretty much what ever you want to do, why would you as a male, Vanilla or Dominant even think of putting your woman down, be it verbal, mental, or physical.

If your a Dominant and you have anger issues, maybe you should rethink your status.  I am not going to say I do not get upset, because I do, I even get angry, I will cuss like a sailor, but never I repeat never at my property. I would never disrespect her in anyway shape or form. Now if you are not in my circle, I do not even see you, I want nothing to do with you, I could really careless. If you are my friend, I will bend over backwards to help you.

So the couple last night are very religious, I do not understand the sharing, but both are very christian like. I started to explain in Viles words.

Look I love to eat pussy way to much, to be down there, and I have this mental picture of some dude banging my bitch. I love to kiss, so thinking of her sucking some dudes cock, well that is not going to happen.

They did exchange phone numbers, and fetlife id’s . Tish received a text about a half hour later. Tish likes to be restrained at night, so I bought her a chain and padlocks , she explained in the text, her chain was ready and she was turning in for the night.

Okay even if I did want her to be with another female, knowing that is really not her thing, is that really fair to Tish. Could it be detrimental to her well being? Sure it could.

As a Dominant, I am suppose to lookout for Tish, not only physically but mentally. , if I force her to do something she really does not want to do, what kind of Dominant does that make me? Will she still respect me after it is all said and done? I think the feelings would change somewhat. I broke my word, from the start I made it clear I do not share. I do not mind someone looking, but hands off. If you were to see Tish’s body you would understand why I do not mind someone else looking.

I was somewhat disappointed in my friend because he had his slave ask yet again, he knew I would not say anything out of the way to her.

I do want Tish to make friends with other Subs and slaves in the lifestyle. I think that is very important for her growth. So she has an understanding of how others live. I would think that would be something every dominant would want.

So call me greedy, stingy, but the bottom line is my pussy is just that my pussy. My friend who was over last night is not the first, it is like dudes are coming out of the woods. WTF.

I just do not get it.