Archive for the Chat Category

A Few Tips On Money And More

Posted in Advice, Arianna, bdsm, caught, Chat, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Giving strangers money,, Lie, Lies, Manipulation, Punishment, slave, submissive on December 29, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Meeting someone at times can be very difficult, even more if you are meeting people online. Every day or most every day it seems most of my blog has grown into awareness and safety when it comes to the lifestyle.

The ones who need the advice are the ones who think they do not need it. The new ones who are just entering or thinking they may be submissive.

The same goes for the new Dominant who read 50 shades of grey. Now they know everything about the lifestyle, they know everything there is about the lifestyle. So lets find someone we can tie up and just fuck their brains out, beat their ass and move on.  Even when I have been asked for advice from other Doms, once I start to speak they lose interest fast. I suppose because I go into so much detail.

I was talking to a guy at work yesterday and he was complaining about how much a babysitter was 50.00 dollars a day for two kids, and I am thinking well you know that is really not that much. He kicked his girl friend out who is the mother of the kids. So I asked why don’t you let her move back in. He said well she is a stupid lazy cunt. The bitch will not get a job.

Wow okay , does she take care of the kids? he said yes. Does she cook ? He said yes. Does she clean house ? He said yes. Finely, does she give good head? Yes she does. What the fuck is your problem? The cunt will not get a job> It is a shame a lot of men think this way. Oh why did I bring up the head? Well I believe if your girl, submissive, slave gives good head there is a lot you can look over, that is just me.

Okay that was just a rant I got into I just wanted to make a point not all men think this way but a lot do. What is funny is if they had just a tad more control, and used the control to their advantage, their relationship would flow much smoother. The same thing happens when you try to take short cuts in life, it never works out.

You never get anywhere calling your girl a stupid cunt. That will get you nowhere fast, and here comes the fight, you have been trying to avoid all day but just your words is what started the war. So man up and suck it up, be fucking miserable. Complain everyday about how much your life sucks.

So meeting people can be a task, more so meeting someone you think your compatible with, and in the lifestyle that is not as easy as it seems.

Okay I receive about 200 emails a day, and maybe half are from different blogs. I will admit I cannot go to everyone everyday. I do how ever try and visit each one through out the week. So do not think I am ignoring your blog or I do not care that is not the case.

I take the time to sit and read what I can, work 55 hours a week , then take care of Arianna. My time is spread very thin. Then every now and then one catches my eye and I click on the link. Yesterday I think it was I clicked on Phoenix’s link. It started out

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble.

So I started reading and she had met a man online and she felt the relationship was going in the right direction. They had been talking for a couple of months and he had not put any effort into meeting her, but what he did manage to do was get her to send him 300 dollars. She found out she had been scammed.

To make it worse I suppose she was in a relationship with another Dom, who she lied to and the confessed to sending him money. She was punished which she deserved. If it had been me it would of probably been much worse. At any rate I am going to guess it has not happened again. I am hoping that anyway.

I have seen men do the same thing, a lot of men on Some girl will email the man, show interest in them. They will say I would love to be your slave but I do not have the money to get to you, can you wire me 500 dollars and I will be your no limit slave for life. Yes there are some really dumb men out there.

I learned a long time ago, if your a helper in life, and you thrive off of helping people, friends or family you will get burnt every time. Because once you start helping then it become expected. You know this is true

You as a human, a submissive a slave, you have to worry about one thing, and that is you, more so if you are single. You have to look out for yourself because no one else will. You can run someone to the store, you can take someone to work, you can take someone to the doctor, but keep your purse closed. You work way to hard to be giving out money, and most likely money you will never see again. Loaning money has ruined many friendships and has caused fights between family’s. You have to put it in your brain it is okay to say NO. You do not need to go into details. You may feel bad for a minute, but you did not cause the mess they are in. You take care of yourself first.

We all make mistakes, the only bad mistakes are the mistakes we make over and over. If you learn from your mistakes you will grow in the right direction.

Arianna use to loan her mother money all the time. She was like a walking ATM. I put a stop to that real fast. I felt she was being taking advantage of because it was expected.

Never give out your real email address. If you do all they have to do is google your email and your whole life pops up. Someone pointed out my real name was in my emails and I had to change it. I don’t want anyone to google my name. I am not ashamed of anything but you google my name then you google BDSM then images and people are visual.

Why would you send a complete stranger nude pictures of yourself, that does not make any sense. When I first met Arianna she sent me tons of pics, but I never asked for a nude one. That takes out all of the excitement, it leaves nothing to the imagination. If he is truly interested in you he would never ask. The same with getting on cam, most do not want to be naked on cam, while some do enjoy it, but for the most I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you do it to please, and to show your submissive.  Why get naked so some dude can jack off, that is all he is doing. If you enjoy phone sex have at it, but only after you meet. You need to be careful with what you share and how much you share at one time. You do not have to submit to anyone until you feel you are ready.

No real Dominant would want to start your training the first time you meet. The first time you meet is just that. You need to take the time to get to know each other.

I know when you first meet someone your excited, after the first fifteen minutes or so your thinking this is the one. Well he is not. Let him show a real interest in you as a person.

The biggest problem with the lifestyle BDSM is people more so men put a sexual label on it. Again it is not just about sex.

BDSM is about communication, structure, rules, protocols, being a couple. The rest just falls into place, then comes the kink, the wild sex, after you have formed a foundation. Phoenix asked me not long ago. How long should you wait? That depends on the person, and what your wanting out of the relationship. I can tell you spreading your legs or sucking cock does not make you submissive, at that point and time it makes you an object, and nothing more. has some of the best information on the world wide web, about how a relationship should be. The training process, what a relationship is suppose to be about. I found the Denversubmissive, who has a world of information about his life.  The life of a submissive.

I am a Dominant , well okay what makes you a Dominant? Because I like to be in control, I like bondage, spanking, flogging. Not a word about structure, communication has been mentioned. That does not make a Dominant.

When you first meet someone and you do not fuck on the first or second date your percentage stays pretty high when it comes to forming some type of relationship. If you lay on your back and spread the first time you meet, your percentage has dropped dramatically and chances are that will be your last meeting. There may be a few afterwards but it will be short lived.

I piss a lot of people off, I am guessing it is how open I am. I am straight to the point. If you asked a question, and you wanted to know the truth would you want them to beat around the bush or just tell you like it is..

A lot could be avoided if we just took a second to think. I will tell you this and I truly believe it. over 95% of our problems are self inflicting, mostly by trying to take short cuts or not listening to your brain.

If you are not in a long term relationship, more so if you have never met the guy, don’t give him any money. His problems are not your problems, and chances are your not the only one who has or is giving him money.



Your A Slave Seeking A Master

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, anticipation, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bondage, Chat, communication, Consensual, controlling, Conversation, Dating, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, Giving Head, Impact play, Master, munchs, No Panties, No Rights, oral sex, Patience, Rape, Safe Call, Security, slave, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick on September 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is probably one of the hardest task you will even endure in your life. This is probably one of the task you will make the most mistakes while you are searching.

I am not here to brag about who or what I am, I am okay with myself, I know who I am, I know what I am about, most of all I know what I need from my partner and out of life.

The hard cold fact if you put 100 Dominants side by side and you had to guess who were true to the lifestyle and lived it daily what would you think the numbers would be? 90 maybe 80 maybe 75 or even lower 50, well neither of those number even close lets say 3 or 4 . Now don’t spit your drink out just yet, because you can hit a bad snag and the numbers could drop even lower.

A while back I had a post similar to this and a woman disagreed with me when I said a Dominant should not mind providing references, be it old flames , people in the lifestyle, what local events he attends, the list goes on and on. There is nothing wrong with asking these questions.

The female who disagreed with me I was okay with her answer, everyone has a difference of opinion. Okay you meet a vanilla guy you go out to eat, a movie, maybe the beach at night, maybe you go to church together, or he invites you over to meet his parents. That is the Vanilla world.

Meeting a potential Master is not like meeting your AC man. You are meeting someone who is or could have full control over your life. You are meeting someone who could take away all of your rights. I am not speaking about those who are submissive, but it still goes along the same lines.

Most of all never let a New Dominant try to put a collar on you the first meeting, this is nothing but ego, would you marry him on your first date I would think not.

First things first Bondage can be very dangerous , impact play can be very dangerous, breath play can be deadly, again you are not meeting the preachers son who was introduced to you through your parents.

People die every year from S & M play, you do not die from eating a banana split sitting outside of Dairy Queen. So to aske questions upfront is perfectly okay.

A real Dominant that you meet via the net will not bring up the subject about sex right away, this is a very bad sign if your 15 minutes into a conversation and sex comes up. At this point he has no other interest in you.

Laying on your back and spreading does not make you a submissive, on your knees with a mouth full of Dick does not make you submissive. Talking dirty over the phone does not make you submissive, sending nude photos of yourself does not make you submissive, nor at this point and time do you have anything to prove. The new Dominant has everything to prove.

I have received a call at 2am a slave wanting me to drive 250 miles to pick her up because she had been raped and beating, and yes I did even after I had told her not to meet this dude, so she ended up with a broken Jaw, and a few ribs.  Rape happens to be very common when it comes to fake Dominant most know the act will go unreported just because you do not want to tell why it happened.

You have to become friends that is the first. What do you have in common, food, movies, maybe travel, flea markets. If you start out in a sexual relationship guess what? That is all you have and it will be short lived.

Here is the kicker, if you are a submissive or Slave who is on any type of depression medication, maybe your Bi-polar , you have to find someone who is understanding, a Dominant with compassion, and most important a Dominant with a great deal of Patience a lot of patience. Someone who cares about where your coming from, what your thinking someone who will make you talk about your thoughts and feelings. If you suffer from any of these disorders some parts of S & M may not be suitable for you, but you do it anyway because you want to please.

If you suffer from any of those disorders you need a well structured home, rules are good, unless all your rules are sexually based. You would be very surprised at what a difference a well structured and drama free home would make on your well being.

Other signs when you first meet a Dominant, most Slaves want and need to be number one, then there are some who do not mind if their Master is married, but if your looking for a single Master there are signs that will tell you.  One being you cannot call except on certain days or hours, or you text and you hear nothing for a couple of days. He will not show you where he lives. He will not take you out with his friends. You do not receive a call on your birthday, or holidays, again the list goes on and on.

There is nothing wrong with asking, what makes you a Dominant? Avoid those who demand you call them Sir at the beginning of a conversation. Being called Sir is respect and that has to be earned. Those who demand such things are ego driven.

Rules are meant to help, rules are meant to put structure back into your life. Rules should not be sexually based. When first meeting someone do not send nude pics, there is no reason. I have never asked for nudes, that takes all of the excitement out of meeting someone new.

In a new relationship I usually start out with 5 or 6 good rules, sometimes less, I take old habits and make good habit, this is the first part of training. as the relationship progresses more can be added if needed. You can implement to many rules and make the Slave feel overwhelmed. We do not want to set anyone up for failure.

Another question that pops up is are you Bi do you like girls? It is okay to say no and that should not be a deal breaker, ask the new Dominant if he is Bi and look at his reaction.

The most important thing to remember is you do not have to submit when you first meet a new Dom, you don’t have to suck cock in the Denny’s parking lot to prove your submissive. You don’t have to fuck on the first date to prove your submissive. you don’t have to wear a short skirt with no panties when you first meet to prove your submissive. I asked that shit when I was in my 20’s.

Take your time and do not settle for less. Your not buying a new car or a house. You are looking for leadership, security, most of all someone who will understand you and takes care of your needs.

Let me tell you this if you do not set up precautions before you meet someone and you end up in a hotel with someone you really do not know the situation could really turn ugly and fast . You might find yourself tied up and no place to go.

Set up a safe call with a friend, good idea, once your at your destination take a picture of the address, the tag on his car send it to your safe call. If nothing else this will make the Dominant think twice. Better yet you can be upfront and tell him what your plans are, he should be perfectly okay with your plans, if he objects any then make other plans for the night.



A Slave Shows Up At The Bus Station

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, bdsm, blog, Bond, Chat, Cheat, cheating, Cherish, communication, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Domestic Abuse, Email, FaceBook, Fear, Humiliation, married, Runaway, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Spanking, Thekinkyworldofvile, violence on November 22, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

About six months ago,  a slave who follows my blog emailed me and wanted my yahoo id. I enjoy chatting with people so I gladly gave it to her.

We chatted on and off on a regular basis. Then she found me on Face Book. I play a few games, and she began playing games with me. She was posting pictures on my page, but it was like we were interacting with each other, for instance her and her dog was playing tug of war, but the caption was sparky, Amber, and Vile playing tug a war.

She is married, has three children. She has been married since 2006. She married an Egyptian, which there is nothing wrong with that.  She met him in a religious Chat room.

She saved money to fly over, they met. She came home started the paper work, paid for his ticket over, paid for the wedding rings, and the wedding.

Okay the wages are not that good in Egypt I suppose I can see this happening. Shortly after the marriage the abuse starts, mostly verbal. He soon adopts her children, and bring his parents over, where he spent the majority of his time, with her children.

Both worked at her parents family owned businesses. He worked for a short while, then left, to go to school to be an RN which he has never completed. Amber was the bread winner, but both lived in one of her parents houses and paid 200 a month for rent, just to cover the property taxes.

A little back ground on Amber. . She is very very tiny, very beautiful. When she sleeps she looks like Mona Lisa. Amber is also Deaf. So being she does read lips, I can see she would have trouble reading someones lips from a different country. If someone did not have patients when they had to repeat several times I could see where some anger issues would come in.

A little deeper now, to give a better prospective on what Amber was like and what she needs. In the end I was unable to provide that for her even though I opened my home to her.

At the age of 18, Amber moved to KC she moved in with a roommate. Shortly after she met a man named Mike.Who just happened to be a Sadist. I am not going to say if her story is true, but it was a little out there, and to make it up, well I am not sure.

Mike basically held her hostage for almost three years. Ana commented on her blog which is no longer up. It is there but blank.

Most of the time she slept in a closet tied up. When out she serviced Mike and his mother. No sex between Mike’s mother.

In the course of three and a half years, she was a total slave not allowed out of the house. Her cheek bone was broken , as well as a finger.

In the course of her travels she had three children with two different men. It happens I am not here to judge her.

She was verbally abused at work, I am guessing because of having to repeat things to much.

Around Mid October I get an IM on Face Book. Here is the Beginning of our conversation.

each Sand

Chat Conversation Start
October 17

Do we know each other

Somewhat, ur nickname is Vile and a writer of many helpful blots. You might know me as slavetowant. We never met in person. :)

no we have not your in orlando?
you have a Daddy

I’m from Wichita, ks.

I was a few miles off
same birthday
why are you single

Where did you guesses? We do have same b-day :) I’m married only by name for children’s sake.

your the first to fine me on FB

Really? I used find your friends button by email. That’s how I found you.

so how are you

I’m doing good. How about you? Are you still writing your blogs? I haven’t been on wordpress for a long while. Busy with work and looking for another job.
Hows everything on ur end?

yes I am still blogging I am good

Bet I have a lot of reading to catch up on. :D

Pretty much you should always take a few minutes of time for yourself
October 19

yeah i shld. How are you? Hows the weather down there? :)

I just got back from the beach

What happened to your wordpress

how was ur time at the beach? I totally forgot my password on WordPress but no worries, i just made a new one :) Right now im reading my favorite writers’ blogs. I just read some of yours. :) Trouble is its hard to remember the titles but its easy to remember whats it all about!

That you, dont for get to let me know what the new blog is. I would write the password down maybe

sure, ill let u know. Im thinking about what to write… many thoughts, dont know what to start with. :)

at the begining

which begining? :D lol

honestly, im picking up where i left off sometime during the month i stopped blogging. :) Thanks for helping :)
will let u know as soon im done :)
ttyl and have a wonderful afternoon
October 22

Your pretty fucking hot there missy

thank you :) How was ur weekend?

Well it was ok, would of been better if you had been here

:) awww Yeah, Im sure we would have good time. Are you moving to another state?

Most likely yes, Tnn probably. Yes a lot of fun.

If u dont mind me asking, how come? I would have thought Florida would be like a paradise with nice weather.

Its ok, my dad is not doing well. Tnn is really pretty, ive been looking at houseboats
Why are you single?

Im sorry to hear about your dad, hope he gets better soon. Actually, I’m married only by name for children’s sake.

That is not a good situation

we make the best of it for kids sake.Im looking for article about daddy dom. Have you written any or know any common knowledge of what is daddy dom?

I will write something for you. Daddy Doms are very special. I am working on my first fiction now. What would you like to know? I was in a daddy relationship for a long time with bea
I wrote about her

Wonderful! I appreciate that. Is your first fiction going to be in your blog? I think i have read about you and bea. Is she the one you fell in love with? Im curious how daddy dom’s behavior and mindset should be and what are common expectations of daddy and the girl?

Well the truth any Dom should be able to fill that role, I mean if he really cares. A Dom no matter should always be calm and in control, very supportive, loving,
The daddy should support the girl in every way, encourage, insure she meets all her goals
Calm, cool, and collective
One should never show anger, yell so on

Are you seeing a dom now ?

no, i dont. I have a childhood friend that says he is. So far we are just friends, getting to know each other again.

What has he shown in the way of being a dominant. The topic of sex should not come up for sometime. Ask about past subs he has had or other doms he knows that you can meet. You are in control until you chose to submit
I dont know him , you do.

Thats the trouble im having. He hasnt shown anything but just being a listener, not talktive much, going with flow kind of a guy. Its almost like pulling teeth with him and kinda of awkward sometimes….I cant imagine him being one. He said he was daddy dom for couple of years and only had 1 girl. That one girl isnt a friend to him anymore; they hate each other….

Well I would back off. A dominant is very confident, most are out spoken, all show some type of authority, firm when he speaks, he will look at you in the eyes when he talks. He is in control. Takes charge. You cannot just take his word. Last night I was on a date , I invited a master and slave along.
He has to know other dominants if he is really in the lifestyle

If he is not in control, how can he control you?

Thats what i assumed doms to be; confident, says whats on his mind, Extrovert type of behavior. He doesnt know any others and I know u have said this in other words in ur writings that its good if doms are known among others and attends get togethers.

Ask him what his role a daddy ia
Correct I did say that. So all you have is his word no proof at all. So the question is do you just roll the dice, or wait

I have asked today and am waiting for his reply. I honestly dont think hes “it” :)
Im waiting for a sign
Dont think ill see it

For instance last night I ordered my food as well as hers. I knew what she liked before hand.
I controlled the conversation, that is just my nature

what did you ordered?

Prior to meeting the couple I set guide lines for her, when to speak and not to.
She had 9oz prim rib, and a salad baked potato

Ask him about sub space and how he takes one to that point

I will ask him im hungry….

Go eat

i forgot my lunch lol! guess u can say its monday.

Well that has to

yep it does

You have never been with a dom be careful. Ill even talk with them if you wish, email

his answer for daddy dom is ……”just one that provides takes care of punishes and makes certain demands from time to time”

Really ? Are you serious
Get the fuck out

yeah, im so glad i didnt “roll over” for him
We kinda hit it off from that point. Chatting daily, playing different games, but I noticed she was paying way to much attention to me, okay maybe she is just a little lonely.
Last Friday I was on Face Book wondering where she was, and I receive a text from her.. I remembered she was off on Fridays , so I ask where are you. Her reply was I am in Arkansas . What the fuck are you doing in Arkansas ? She reply’s I will be in Daytona Beach at 6.35am on Saturday. Okay why are you coming to Daytona Beach. She states to stay with you.
I sit dumb founded scratching my head. What about your husband ad children. I am done I am tired of the abuse, and the children have very little do do with me anymore.
6.55 am I show up at the bus station walk in and there she sits. Like Mona Lisa.
She brought 3 small back packs with her, I singled for her to pick them up and follow me to the car. While on the way home she was glued to me, would not let go. Once home I told her to shower. I found a long Tee Shirt she would wear as a gown she is that small. Then I let her sleep.
She slept for about four hours. I cooked her dinner, and we talked. So everything back home is straight Amber, she said yes. I said how did you tell everyone you were leaving. She replied I left a note and told a co-worker.. I just look at her with a blank face.
Amber was starved for affection, she would not let go of me. I knew then there was more to her story than what she told me, but I let her be.
Now I am thinking the shit is going to hit the fan, a petite deaf girl is missing. I told her to contact her sister in law on Face Book to insure she was okay.  Monday I made her show me, she did not. I made her do it right then.
She wanted to play, so I tied her up, she could not get lose like she thought she could. We did have sex, which was really fucking incredible. The best in years.
Sunday Night I noticed she was not feeling well, she was running a very high fever. I got up went to wal greens, pickup flu medicine, cough medicine, and drops, by morning she was feeling better.
Amber wanted to be treated the way Mike treated her. I could not do that. Number one, I did not know her well enough, number two she was still sick.
Wednesday she received and email from her Husband, it had to be a good one, because she wanted to leave after being with me for five days. The real reason she wanted to leave I am guessing, is because she thought she could relive Mike. I guess from reading my blog she thought I could be who she needed.
Under the right circumstances I probable be who she wanted and needed, Maybe. What she needed is really deep. Just meeting, I did not have those kind of feelings.
So last night around 10.30pm I get a text.
You do not know me. We are just friends on Face Book. Well no it does not work like that. I will tell the truth, about everything, if I am asked.
I do wish her well, I really do. We did hit it off really good. She was a lot of fun to be with, very easy to talk to.
What really bothers me is. The abuse is not going to stop, it will only get worse now. She does deserve much better…
ImageThe bad thing is I would probably Let her come back.