Archive for the children Category

TPE Total Power Exchange

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anger, Arianna, bdsm, Breaking Rules, children, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Kink, kinky, married, Master, Open Minded, slave, submissive, Total Power Exchange, TPE on August 18, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Not many really understand this concept. I have said this many many times if you are a new Dominant just entering the lifestyle find a good mentor. Actually finding a good mentor can be just as hard as finding a partner in the lifestyle.

Although we each run our house different, rules, and protocols, it is still good to have someone on the outside to get advice from.

There are a few things to consider if your not planning on any kind of mentor. Impact play, where to hit and where not to hit, I have blogged about this type of play and the dangers. Rope bondage if you do not know what you are doing, you can do damage, muscles, and tendons. The last thing we want to do is hurt ours

So your married and both have agreed to enter a TPE relationship this is a huge task even more so if you have already been married for sometime. At first it seems almost like play, and it does take some time to adjust. It does work, but it does take a lot of work to iron everything out. It is much different than two people just meeting seeking the same type of relationship.

Many in the lifestyle do not want this type of relationship, I can understand why, but again I cannot. I cannot see myself as a part time Dominant, or a weekend warrior. TPE does take a great deal of effort on both parties.

The hardest part about the transition is the New Dominant standing firm, and being married for sometime, well can be somewhat difficult. I will explain, many Dominants who are married but their wife is not a submissive. The Dominant feels guilty about asking his wife to do things, or she just refuses. So he decides to step outside of the marriage and find someone who will fulfill his fantasies. These types of relationships are usually short lived, one the submissive grows to attached, two the Dominant is not going to leave his wife and home no matter what he tells you. Remember money over rides pussy. A man who is married with kids and a home is not going to throw everything away over some ass. I would hope you as the submissive are not that shallow minded.

Now I do believe most women are submissive to a point. The fact is most men do not really know what they have, and if they had a clue to what they have they would not know how going about to handle the situation. Those who try and convert their wife usually do it in a controlling and abusive manner.

In theory it is really easy to train someone, or change someones habits. Here is a good example.

Okay all women can leave now, and the men can stay. Okay coast is clear.

You take an object something and place it in plain site, something small but noticeable , everyday you make a comment about the object. Man I like that sitting there. Everyday just out of general conversation. I really like that there. A week maybe two goes by, and when your alone you move the object. You move it to someplace where it can still be seen, but it is now out of place. At some point when your wife or girlfriend sees that the object has been moved, she will pick it up and put it back. Your laughing but I have done this. You have now began the process. You do not have to tell someone what to do,all you have to do is plant a seed, a comment, you may have to plant the same seed several times, but it is the same as you planting the object.

Total power exchange is planting many seeds, you do this in a controlled manner, you do this is a drama free atmosphere. You do this is a stress free atmosphere. The power of suggestion. TPE is not the other giving up full power, you are taking with the power of suggestion. The power of suggestion, falls under consistency, just like speaking about the object everyday, you must remain consistent.

The way we speak goes a long way, the words that come out of our mouth and how we say these words. You speak in a controlled manner.

While going through this transition slight forms of humiliation can be used, this is a reminder of what role your submissive plays in the relationship. Humiliation is a powerful tool if used correctly. What forms of humiliation to use varies from submissive to submissive, usually it is something they hate doing, or something they have refused to do in the past, you know your partner well enough to decide what will and what will not work. Humiliation turns on that submissive switch, and it works fast just like flipping a light switch. Never use humiliation as a form of punishment, unless you have tried everything else. The last thing you want to do is cause any mental harm.

If your going to punish explain why you are punishing, and make the submissive explain what they are going to do to prevent it from happening again. I do not like spanking as a punishment because most subs or slaves enjoy spanking, so your really defeating the purpose.

If the wife or girlfriend agrees to a TPE, that usually means she has had enough, to much on their shoulders. That does not make it a bad thing, at this point and time she just wants to hand over the reins. The problem is many men do not want the responsibility of running the house, even if the female works all of the worlds problem lay on her shoulders.

I have brought this book up before, about how the average housewife could slowly hand over all control. The Surrendered Wife. Avery good book and it gives you all the answers you need, so you can have the ability to pass your plate.

Those who do not understand TPE will say it is about abuse, these are the exact ones who do not want any responsibility. These are the exact ones looking for a Mommy and not a partner.  They want a cook, a house keeper, taxi for the kids, laundry done, pay all the bills, clean house, cut the grass, then they want their dick sucked at night.

TPE requires careful planning between the two, if both agree to such a lifestyle. Your plan should be implemented slowly, a gradual transition, until the male partner has full control. Once in place the female can begin to relax, and concentrate on one thing keeping her man happy.

Really what we are talking about is a few hours a week. It may take a little time to adjust, but once things are moving in the right direction, things will run smooth.

A home with children, a TPE can be very good for the whole family. The children do not have to know the behind the scenes, but what they do see is a well ran machine. What they see is two adults who get along, two adults who respect each other, no arguing or fighting, but most of all the children see mutual respect for both, in the coming years this will not only help your children but it will benefit them as well. They will see how a house is suppose to be ran. I believe there are many more benefits, and the children do not need to know everything.

TPE The female wants to turn over everything mind and body, the mind so to speak, I do not think any of us would not want someone who could not think on their own.

Those who choose this type of relationship meaning the submissive, want to feel needed, be it just doing simple task, or being used sexually no questions asked.

It does take sometime to work out all the kinks within the relationship, it is not going to happen over night and there will be some struggles between to two. TPE is a huge adjustment, before you may argue at times, if you sense an argument then both should stop dead in your tracks and think very deep why the argument started. Most of the time arguments consist of screaming and yelling, then the name calling starts flying which only causes more hurt. STOP AND THINK.

The New Dominant should think before he speaks, even if your going to correct something, listen to how it sounds to yourself, It may not sound so hot, so just maybe you could re-word what you were going to say.

It takes much work on both sides it is not a one way street, both are going to have to give and take.

I don’t mean to bash men all the time, it just so happens I am a male, but some just act really stupid, maybe it is not an act. A lot of men are not open minded , and they just do not understand, nor do they want to understand, when their wife tries to explain their feelings.

Even those who are not in the lifestyle most could expand on their communication skills. I have met people who really knew nothing of their partner. Think about it, it is true.

Just talk to each other, the average couple spends a half hour a week in general conversation. The lack of communication has been the down fall of many relationship.



Submissive’s Who Have Children.

Posted in abuse, bdsm, children, exposing bad dominants on December 2, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I go through phases where my Fetlife gets blown up with messages. I am seldom on there, when I am it is just to see what friends are doing, or when the next munch is.

I had a couple of emails one a submissive, one a slave, wanted to know if I was still looking for a partner, both had children. I emailed back, and said I was open, we could email for a while see where things go.

The first question was, do mind if I have a child?  Well that would depend, you except someone for who they are, if you click and they have a child, I would not see why not.

The reply was, as soon as I tell the Dom I have a child, she gets dropped. He is no longer interested. Cramps his style, does not want the responsibility. Or maybe because she was not able to stay nude 24/7.

Then the question, this is fucking real but sick. What role would my child play in the relationship? Are you fucking joking? Are you serious? You have to ask a question like this. Some Dominants well I am not even going there. Fucking incredible.

If you are interested in someone, or you think you would like to have a relationship a child should not make any difference, but to want to include in anyway is just sick, and should be reported.

All to many times when a submissive or slave is abuse, be it on the first meet or leaving a relationship. he should be brought out in the open, and exposed for who and what he is, no exceptions. If he abused once he will do again. Theses are predators, who prey on subs and slaves because he see’s them as weak.

The problem is, most just shake it off as a bad experience , shake it off, and continue looking. This leaves the door open for him to make a repeat. To stalk, prey and abuse again.

Although I am not looking for anyone with children I have not ruled it out, who is to say who one is attracted two and not. At my age I would prefer not, but I cannot say never.

If more spoke up, and exposed those who are fakes, it would make it harder for them to abuse again. The BDSM community is really small, word spreads fast.

Not long ago, I made a mistake with a slave, it was a lack of communication on my part. If it had not been for me being know in the community, and people knew who I was and what I was about. My name could of been ruined. It was really nasty breakup.

I was not concerned until friends started calling me, and telling me what was being said. She thought by calling people I know in the community would make me look bad, but in fact it made her look pretty stupid, but if I had not known people, and people did not know me, it could of turned out pretty bad.

I may blog about that here soon.


Human Trafficking Todays News

Posted in abuse, children, Forced Prostitution, forced sex slaves, Health, human trafficking, sex slaves, sex trade on June 20, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This was today’s front page of yahoo

Up to 27 million people are living in slavery around the world, US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton estimated as the US unveiled its annual report into human trafficking.

But the report showed that as governments become more aware of the issue, instigating tough new laws and programs to help victims, progress is being made in wiping out what it called the “scourge of trafficking.”

“The end of legal slavery in the United States and in other countries around the world has not, unfortunately, meant the end of slavery,” said Clinton.

“Today it is estimated as many as 27 million people around the world are victims of modern slavery, what we sometimes call trafficking in persons,” she said at the unveiling of the report at the State Department.

“Those victims of modern slavery are women and men, girls and boys, and their stories remind us of the kind of inhumane treatment we are capable of as human beings,” said Clinton.

“Whatever their background, they are the living, breathing reminders that the work to eradicate slavery remains unfinished.”

As America prepares to mark the 150th anniversary of the proclamation of the emancipation of US slaves, people must reflect on “how much further we have to go to free all these 27 million victims,” Clinton added.

Out of the 185 countries included in the 2012 report, only 33 complied fully with laws in place to end human trafficking, putting them at the top of a four-tier ranking system.

But five countries had moved up from the bottom blacklist known as tier 3, including Myanmar and Venezuela, to be included among the 42 countries now on what is known as a tier 2 watch list.

Myanmar was removed from the blacklist because the government “took a number of unprecedented steps to address forced labor and the conscription of child soldiers; these steps amount to a credible commitment to undertake anti-trafficking reforms over the coming year,” the report said.

Syria however fell onto the blacklist for the first time, in a move which could cut off any US aid and make it harder to get US backing for funds from organizations like the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

“The government of Syria does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making significant efforts to do so,” the 2012 Trafficking in Persons report said.

Among the 16 other countries on the blacklist were Algeria, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Libya, North Korea and Saudi Arabia.

Kenya slipped down onto the watch list for the first time in five years, while Nigeria lost its place on tier 1, moving down a notch as the report highlighted that women and children were forced into labor and sex trafficking.

But Clinton hailed the fact that a total of 29 countries had been upgraded to a higher ranking, “which means that their governments are taking the right steps.”

They included Bangladesh, which was bumped up to tier two for making significant efforts to comply with minimum standards, including passing “a comprehensive anti-trafficking law” in December.

Ambassador Luis CdeBaca, director of the office to combat trafficking in persons, said while the number of people officially identified as victims of trafficking and slavery had gone up by 28 percent since last year to 42,291, the numbers of prosecutions in 2012 had also increased by 10 percent to 3,969.

So while countries “still have a little ways to go” there was “the beginnings, I think, of a real trend,” he said.

This year’s report focuses on how to better protect the victims, and urges governments to meet the challenge head-on.

“Traffickers are criminals. Governments — which alone have the power to punish criminals and provide legal recourse to survivors — cannot waver in their efforts to confront modern slavery,” the report says.

But it also argues that human trafficking takes many guises and it is not just about moving people across borders to trap them in prostitution.

“The United States government, and increasingly, the international community, view ‘trafficking in persons’ as the term through which all forms of modern slavery are criminalized,” it says.

“The essence of the trafficking experience is the denial of freedom, including the freedom to choose where and how you live, the freedom to work or choose not to work, the freedom from threats, and the freedom of bodily integrity,” the report says.



Human Trafficking and Sex Slavery

Posted in abuse, children, Forced Prostitution, forced sex slaves, Health, Humiliation, sex slaves, sex trade on June 20, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to get off subject today, please read only if you have a strong stomach… When I have a strong conviction about something I just have to share it..

I have ran across a lot of articles here of late that has to do with this title. I am a big women advocate when it comes to abusing women.

Although I can come off kinda harsh and brutal, everything about my life and relationships, are Safe, Sane and Consensual . I have never abused nor do I condone any type of abuse, be it mental, verbally or physical. Those who are abusive should have there penis’s cut off.

I travel a lot I try to go someplace different every year, Thailand, Korea, Costa Rica. I was thinking this morning while in Costa Rica there are many women from Columbia, who work in night clubs. out of those, I wonder which ones are sold into slavery. It is a known fact that slavery today is running wild, from small children to adults, who are forced to work in servitude and as sex slaves for little or no money at all.

Most are promised jobs once abroad , offered a place to live, make money so they can help there families back home. Only to get to there destination o find a cruel and dark world full of abuse. Forced to take drugs, so there is only one place to turn.

Most are controlled by pimps of the trade, and beaten on a regular basis if they do not perform, most are giving quotas and are expected to meet them daily. Forced to work 7 days a week, with no contact with there families or friends.

What makes things worse are the people or men who take part, who pay for there fun, without a care of who they are or where they came from. They are just a piece of meat they paid for for 30 minutes or the night.

You read all the time about professionals Doctors and Lawyers traveling to Vietnam to have sex with children, very few are caught. but if caught they face charges from the USA.

Image These men travel several times a year, to be with children.

Forced into prostitution after time this is all they know. They lose track of life its self, a dead feeling I am sure, they feel they serve no purpose at all, and there is no longer a reason to live.

Governments around the world spend billions trying to stop the sex trafficking  , human slavery. The truth is though for every trafficker took off the streets 5 more pop up, because the trade is so lucrative. It is hard to believe that women and children are bought and sold like cattle. Many times one goes days without eating, or even a bath, a small room with no heat or running water.

How these people can sleep at night, I truly do not understand. What is more disturbing many are bought and sold right here in the USA , you could have someone living right next door to you, a Hungarian, maybe Russian, could be from right here in the US.

If you ever have a weird feeling do not hesitate to call the authorities, because there may very well be no tomorrow.


Here are a few Graphs I want to show you just how huge this problem is.. From all over the world.


Image I find it unreal and devastating at these numbers. The number of children who are abused, and no one really cares.

So if you travel outside the US, just keep an eye out, always travel in pairs when possible because you never know….



BDSM and Children

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, children, Discipline, Love on June 4, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay this is not what you are probably thinking so just read on.

A BDSM family is very special , and believe it or not can be good for the children in the household. After all children learn everything from there parent , as a matter of fact more so in the first 5 years of there life. It it up to us as parents to set the example early on in there life.

Now I am guessing how this lifestyle can be good for children? Well I am going to cover a few things to shed some light on just what I mean…

While a vanilla family is what we call the norm of things, there are some issues , for instance arguing, yelling at each other, yelling at the kids, just at times out of control. Now this is not everybody, but I believe is true for the most.

A D’s style home is far more different , here is why. A D’s home is structured more so than a vanilla, there is no arguing at anytime. The child in the family notices the smallest of things and they take note to there surroundings.

The child observes total respect between the two, the child takes note to communication between the two. Children pick things up at an early age, as a parent you know this.

If a man and wife spends most of the time yelling at each other, how do you discipline your child for yelling back at you, or is a parent throws things, how do you tell your child not to. It is a vicious circle.

A D’s style home is very structured, everything runs as planned. The child observes love and respect between the two.

When your child visits friends they will take note, on the difference, between the homes and parents.This effects the child in many ways, be it social , or in school. You know and I know that if parents spend the majority of the time arguing , yelling or even fighting, what the effects can be.

On the BDSM side , the children know nothing of the lifestyle and I do not condone this in anyway. At no time should the subject eve come up.

What I am trying to explain is , the child sees how smoothly the family runs. The communication between the two, the love, for each other….

A Dom is in full control, of his actions, his surroundings. He sets the example. He never loses his temper, nor does he yell. He shows total respect at all times, for his wife and the children.

I hope you have gained a greater understanding on hows the D’s lifestyle  can be beneficial not just for the children in the home, but as a family….