Archive for the Choices Category

Abuse Is Alive And Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Mentor, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, exploiting your slave, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

MAsT:Kissimmee

 

May 19th

 

Meeting

A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. http://www.mast.net , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…

 

 

 

 

Your Going To Be Used

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Choices, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance Through Intimidation, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Safe and Sane, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Sucking and fucking with tags , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Welcome to a whole new world , a world of  kink , bondage , Discipline , sex , things you like and things you do not like. Welcome to the world of giving up your control. Welcome to the world of taking orders , following rules , protocols and structure.

There are two types of Dominants and Domme’s , those who care about you and have your best interest in mind , and those who are just looking to use and abuse and could not give a fuck about your feelings or your emotions and well being.

The bad your a object, your a piece of meat you have three holes or two if male with no face and when you speak your voice is not heard. Once you become to needy or start to question your status you are tossed aside like trash.

To the users you are nothing more than a commodity on the stock market and as you grow older your value will drop , your cock will not work as it did and your tits will start to sag as with your ass. You will go from trading at a hundred dollars or more to penny stocks and your playing field will become much smaller, and there will come a time your game will end.

You can only use so much , you can only play on someones emotions so long before your called out.

These men and women see submission as a weakness and nothing more, You are stupid , you are ignorant you have zero brain cells. Once you have grown tired of sucking dick or emptying out your bank account  your tossed a side only to start your next search but you did not learn from your last excursion. You will take the same path of destruction and repeat the relationship again and again. You will continue to send your pics , shoot videos and self punishment, and you will repeat these actions over and over and over.

You will complain to your friends , you will blog about your sorrows, you will blog about how bad the Dom was, you will complain about how you were used , but not one time will you accept responsibility for your own actions.

You make a mistake you correct it , if you make the same mistake that is possible but if you continue then you are just as stupid and the one using you. It is no longer the user it is you and only you, your the only one to blame.

The fake Dominant shows up when no one else is available and if you think your the only one sitting on the couch waiting for a text , you need to change your light bulb.

When you do see him or her , you get the pleasure of sucking cock or being used for about an hour then they have to run and you repeat , you sit on your couch watching Jerry Springer , because you can somehow relate.

The good news is once you decide to get on the right path and find someone who truly cares about you, the one thing you will be proficient in is cock sucking.

I know

You will continue to lay on your back , suck dick and get abused until you come to terms that something is wrong. Those who see the fake Domme’s seldom get the pussy if every, it is more bout humiliation and your bank account.

Your not dating little Johnny anymore , someone you would sit in the car and make out for hours with, or go to a movie theater when he would finger you or cop a feel of your tits.

Your life is going to go through some pretty drastic changes and you need to be on your game when you open the door.

You are now going to give up most of your freedom and in some cases all of your freedom for sometime.

Your going to be told what to wear , how to speak and when to speak. How to dress , your hair, your nails everything about you will change and it will change to fit someones needs.

Your no longer going to be begged to suck dick your going to be told. Your no longer going to begged to give up some pussy it will be taken and you will agree.

You have moved from being viewed as a girl friend or partner to property, an object a toy meant to be used.

You have to be able to communicate your needs and your thoughts when entering a relationship. You have to be able to say NO before entering a relationship. If you are feeling intimidated through fear you are not in the right frame of mind to be making any type of lifestyle decisions.

If you do not agree with something be it a sexual act or a rule you need to speak up , because if you do not you may be in for a bad experience and one you could end up getting hurt.

Here is  the key though is you are going to give up all of the above, if you are going to agree to all of the above, if you are going to serve one, give up control of your life , you are entitled to get something in return. What you get in return I guess depends on what you want out of life. I guess it also depends on how long your willing to wait on the one or spending your time jumping from one relationship to another making the same mistakes..

So why do we see so many lifestyle relationships crash ? Just as I am guilty I have settled for less, I have giving into my needs just for that moment in time companionship. Putting my kink to the side well some of it. Entering a relationship knowing we were not compatibility , it works for a short time but in the end you crash.

Many of us including me have put sex ahead of everything else, knowing it was not going to work. If your relationship is based on sex alone it will crash and burn with both leaving very hateful , putting the blame on each other.

Most are not willing to wait for the one , because we are selfish we want it now , we want it yesterday. If you the Dominant or submissive operate like this you will have a very lonely life and in some cases abusive.

I get emails all the time of those wanting advice , i email back with my opinion and I never hear back, why? Because it was not what they wanted to hear. They did not want the truth, they wanted to hear everything was going to be alright.

Life is based on two actions and only two. Choices and Consequences

vile

 

 

TRUST

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Trust, Choices, compatibility, consequences, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

How long does it take to build trust in someone ? A day ? Three days ? A Week ? A Month ? Six Months ? I mean really trust, what is the amount of time for someone to how their true colors ? What if you have been stepped on, beaten down like a wet dog ? What if you have been cheated on ? What if you have been abused , maybe physically , maybe mentally , maybe verbally , or maybe just flat out lied to , how long does it take to trust in any relationship Vanilla , D’s Or M’s how long does it take ?

What if your what I call a relationship jumper , how long does it take you to build trust ? What if you move from one abusive relationship to another , how long does it take you to trust ?

What if your being hit or beaten on a daily basis , where does the trust come into play ? I wonder at times what goes through the minds of abusive women and men as well ?

How long does it take to trust ? I know one thing for sure if your able to trust you will give more of yourself , you will feel more open.

How long does it take to trust someone if your going to scene with someone ? Tie you up ? Place you in handcuffs ? I would imagine the trust would have to be pretty deep would it not ?

Like many of you I have been played and I have been played hard , until I learned from my mistakes. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
Insanity is making the same mistake over and over again expecting different results. I also learned to pick up on the fakes , the game players. The game players I suppose some do not even know they are playing a game , being use to using people.
You turn the tables and it is a whole different ball game. If your playing a game you have to know the rules, if you don’t you lose. Once your on the pitchers mound your in control, you control where the ball goes. Your not trying to play them your just putting up blocks.

You never want to lay out all of your cards once you show your whole hand your pretty much done , you need that control , you need to keep them guessing after all it is trust your trying to build.

Many have walls that are put up , I have a series of doors, as you gain access to each door you gain a little more trust. I can tell you very few have made it to the last door, I let very few people in, maybe a glance or a peak but never fully. Arianna has full access I suppose I trust her and I trust without question or thought.

Surely there has to be trust if your going to get on your knees and suck cock, or lay on your back and spread. I would think even more so if you allow someone to tie you up.

I have said this before life revolves around two things choices and consequences , you are in full control.

choices

Vile

So Your Thinking About BDSM

Posted in Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM 101, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Dom, fucking and sucking, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on May 18, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

A year ago I would of Pimped out Fetlife and there is still a lot of good info to be found as long as you do not comment or ask a question.
In the Beginning Fetlife was an awesome source of information and people willing to help. Today that proves not to be correct and the problem falls back on the group leaders not monitoring what is being said.

So you have done research , maybe you have made a few friends on fetlife , if your a submissive that is very important to meet others like you , you may be different as far as your thoughts maybe your kinks , the rules you want to follow and how you see your everyday life.

You can line up a hundred submissives and walk down the line and everyone is different, you can line up a hundred Dominants and every one is different, this is why the research is so important.

Many times you see yourself as one way but a Dominant will paint you a different picture , and when this happens it can cause confusion on your end.
If someone is trying to change you, then you are not the one for them, and that is okay because that is not the only Dominant or submissive in the world.

Your mindset you have to have the right mindset when entering a relationship, and yes again you have to have a plan. You have to know what you want and what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship.

Our life is based on only two things , and those two would be Choices and Consequences. The result you are in control of about 98% of what happens in your life , with the remaining two percent leaving room for errors.

What kind of Submissive are you ? what kind of Slave are you ? What kind of Baby Girl are you ? How much control do you want to relinquish ? How deep is your submission ? These are all questions you need to ask yourself?

As I stated above research, research and more research is needed. Although there are thousands of websites and social groups many can and will pollute your mind. What you read is someones opinion , and only their opinion. I take what I read with a grain of salt mainly because I have my own vision. My own vision , a vision I have planned out for the present and the future.
The thing we have to know is everyone is different and their vision is different , and there are those who have no vision, I suppose some just wing it. Taking what comes and goes and not worrying about the choices and consequences.

You can never tell someone who or what you are , if you do they are trying to change you as a person and not accepting you for you. Although you are going to change , you want the change on your terms.

Your mind is going to race a thousand miles an hour , your thoughts and feelings will change on a daily basis, your needs will change on a daily basis until you figure everything out , or you may not figure everything out. You may need someone to take you and guide you , that is not changing you it is guiding you.

You should never let someone define who or what you are. Your a slave not a submissive , again that is someones opinion or someone wanting to change you , and again it is only you who knows who you are.

If your a baby girl or a submissive maybe a slave and all three of these have one thing in common once in a relationship you are going to notice you are growing more dependent. Knowing who you are will allow you to grow and you want to grow with someone who wants you to grow. If your going to grow somewhat dependent on someone you want it to be with someone who has your best interest in mind.

The lifestyle is not difficult , it is the thought process and defining your role that can be difficult. Having the strength to speak up and express your feelings or thoughts.

Something that really bothers me is when you hear another Dominant putting down another Dominant or saying he does not know what he is doing. The dominant is clueless about the lifestyle or he is a fake.
That is an opinion and opinions are like assholes everybody has one. Oh you need to read this book or that book, again that is someones opinion and what works for one will not work for another.

I have said before we are visual and if you google BDSM and click on images you get a definition of what most think BDSM is about, pain and humiliation. You hear but you do not listen, you see but you only see about 35% of what your looking at. A drive by shooting and twenty people see the same car but when questioned no one gives the same description.

If your going to allow a Dominant to train you , he must have a clear vision , he must have a plan and be able to explain what he is doing and why.
Training is meant to provide structure , guidance , self confidence , stability , security , and in some cases improve ones self esteem. Training is about open communication. If your training is about sucking cock or taking pain you are not into then you need to rethink your situation.

You have to be who you are not what someone else wants you to be..

Why is our Government so fucked up ? Because a group of men who cannot come to an agreement on anything. The thing we know is they do not have our best interest in mind. The same goes with a room full of Dominants , you will not be able to get two Dominants to agree on anything and chances are they do not have your best interest in mind mainly because someone wants to change who you are instead of helping define who you are. Hmmm did that make any sense ?

Image

Vile

What Makes Her A Whore

Posted in Arianna, Asian Women, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Being fucked, cheating, cheating wives, cheating women, Choices, commitment, communication, consequences, Deception, Fake submissive, Gang Bang, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, oral sex, pussy, slave, sluts, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Trailer Trash, Whores on May 11, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Even when I was younger and in school we would all gather in the bathroom to catch our morning smoke and a few guys would talk about the different whores or sluts in school.
The thing most women do not understand is no matter the age men still talk , and the talk is much more interesting because now we know what we are doing.
Just like in the 8th grade we had beverly who loved to fuck and then we had Jamie in the dugout after school and 5 of us were banging her. The smell of pussy was very strong , no love making just plain out animal fucking , sucking cock while being bent over. One thing now as I look back that was stupid we had no condoms and all five of us dumped our cum inside her. Days after we talked about how we wore her out and how she was walking funny . The thing is she did not mind all the talk , which I found interesting.

One thing that never changes though is it is never a girl who was fucked or a woman , it is always man I fucked that bitch so hard I almost broke her back , or dude that whore knows how to suck cock, man she is a dirty little slut. Makes me kinda wonder what the women talk is like , but I do know a little.

I have spoken before about how I use to drive a cab during events in Daytona Beach because you can make some mad money in a short length of time. My last spring break before Daytona fucked it up I made like 12.000 dollars in 60 days including race week and bike week. i called it stupid money because when people get drunk they get stupid throwing money everywhere , a 20 dollar cab ride and the dude throws you a 50 just fucking crazy.
Spring break was always fun I never turned on my radio , instead I just cruised up and down A1A picking up flags and for 12 hours it was never ending, fuck I hated when my shift ended.
One night I pulled up in front of a club called Razzels , Razzels is like a hip hop club , the cops are always sitting outside because of all the fights, but one night I slowly pulled up front and out came 5 girls from Mississippi flagging me down and when I got a close look at the one getting in the front seat , I was thinking holy mother of Jesus this bitch is fine half Asian and half American and a skirt so short when she sat in the front all I could see was purple panties.
Speed limit 35 mph and going 7 miles to their hotel which they paid a hefty price for, but the laughing and screaming , making out with each other in the back, talking about sucking cock in the bathroom and how their boyfriend would never find out.
While driving this girl in the front seat had one leg up on the dash and I am trying to watch where I am going and watching the mirror at the same time, then I hear a moan and I look to my right and this Asian chick is fingering herself and then taking her finger out and feeding it to one of the girls in the back, man fuck me with a chain saw. This shit went on for 60 days or so….

So what makes a woman a whore or even a slut ? Because she likes to fuck or suck cock ? Because she enjoys being single and not committing to a one on one relationship ? Because she enjoys multiple partners ?
If you think that then you have a very shallow simple mind. Your way of thinking is very self centered.

So if women who fuck more than one dude is a whore , why do men not fall into the same category? The male is not a whore he is a stud looking to put another notch in his belt.
I am not putting men down but most males have such a shallow mind and are driven by their cocks but there are two sides to every story , because some women can get pretty stupid as well.

So what is my definition of a true whore , or a slut ? It is really pretty simple most may disagree but I am good with that. I rag on men who cheat all the time but there are just as many women.

My definition of aw whore is a married woman who is out fucking while her husband is at work and her children are in school. She is not going to leave him because the one she is fucking cannot provide the security she has at home. She is not going to leave in fear of losing what she has and most of the time the guy she is fucking makes less than hubby.

So do you like playing Russian Roulette ? One bullet in a revolver just one and every time you fuck around you come home pick up your gun , spin the cylinder, put it up to your head and pull the trigger. That is what your playing every time you fuck around , because what you can catch today is a death sentence . It is not like it was in the 70’s when you would go and just get a shot, today you can die.

The prescription that will solve everything is communication , you may not think hubby will listen but he will , if you go to him in a calm way and give him an ultimatum , he will bend.
The bottom line is if your not happy leave , pack your bags , file for divorce and spend all that time dragging your kids through the mud, as well as your family.
Leaving is really the best option…

Remember life is based on two things. Choices and consequences

whore

Vile

On Your Back And Spread

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Choices, choices and consequences, cock sucking, commitment, communication, fucking, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, sex slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Trainer A Slave, Training Arianna on May 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

If you think it say it , meaning if your thinking you want to fuck or you want your cock sucked say it don’t think it. Hmmm Wednesday night Arianna and I went to a coffee munch which ran into a dinner munch and we met a couple there.
We left and went to a Karaoke Bar something Arianna enjoys doing and it just so happens they have awesome Tequila sunrises. Up until a month ago it had been a very long time since I had that feeling good thing going on , I do not drink to often but man those are so good.

A couple joined us they are both kinda new to the lifestyle , right now keeping it in the bedroom mainly but they want to explore more options.

Something came up in our conversation that seems to be the norm today. The Dominant feels guilty about using his property , for what ever reason this guilt feeling comes over and the thought of getting his dick sucked passes and moves on to something vanilla.

So here are my thoughts , entering a relationship be it A Daddy , Baby Girl relationship , a D’s and more so an M’s relationship. All of these details were worked out once you got to the subject of Sex.

Now I love Arianna with my last breath , she is the world to me , my best friend , partner , wife and slave , but above all She is my Slave first , she is for my use when and where and how I want it.

The love thing we all want to be in love , but in our lifestyle we have to be able to separate our feelings. Most married men cheat because one they are not getting something , they want kink but they are afraid to express their feelings , or they would feel bad about doing kinky things to their wife , or they are just a pig.
I believe women cheat for different reasons , but some are just Hoes I am guessing.

While in a relationship I let my feelings get in the way, yea the love thing. I no longer wanted to punish nor did I want to use her in the manner I was when we first met so I changed and I changed in a big way.

You cannot change who you are or your train of thought, because when you do you are no longer the Dom your sub or slave met and that means you are no longer meeting their needs.

If you implement rules you need to follow through on a daily basis , the same with anything you put into place. Once you the Dominant gives your word you cannot retract anything.

Baby Girl , submissive or slave they are still your property , they are there and have agreed to let you use them the way you see fit. I have learned from the past that if you do not , you will lose and once your relationship starts to spiral out of control it is almost impossible to regain.

I was actually speaking with another Dom the other night and he had the same problem he felt guilty , and I can relate I have had the same problem in the past. It is not easy separating your feelings but it can be done.

So if you are thinking about getting head say it , if you just want to fuck say it , your property is not a mind reader.

All of this should already be in place prior to entering your relationship , both has to be able to define what they are looking for and what they need in a relationship.
A Baby girl or a submissive may have different views when it comes to being used , I am speaking about my preference , my relationship but if you do not speak up or your feeling guilty then you are allowing your property to top from the bottom because you are not really in charge…

This may sound weird but when you use your property there is a sense of accomplishment on their part, knowing they have pleased their Daddy , Dom or Master.

It takes time but if you follow those steps and you stay with the process I promise your relationship will flow smoothly.

You should have a clear vision about what type of relationship your looking for , a clear definition . The Dominant should have a clear vision , and a clear definition when it comes to the type of relationship he is seeking , and should be able to explain it in detail.
Being a Baby Girl or a Submissive you have the right to say NO , if you do not agree with something , or something is a limit , you have the right to say NO.
Many of you do not understand that because you are being taught by a one way street and your told not to listen to anyone else because they do not know what they are talking about.

It is wise to have other friends in the lifestyle , it is also your right to have friends while in a D’s relationship and it is needed.

What is your role ? Just in service , or in service and sex , while sex is included in either it can go much deeper if that is what is negotiated and you agree.

You are trained how to please , from giving head to the way to lay and what positions. How to talk and walk. So be careful what you ask for..

train

Vile

Life II Arianna BDSM

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Choices, commitment, communication, consequences, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Forced Submission, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

This was a blog my Slave Arianna posted about life and the curve balls that can be thrown at you.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

At times it seems life is not fair , it seems someone is always out to get you or nothing goes right , but when everything seems like it is just falling into place and things are running smooth , you are just waiting for that curve ball.

The key to life is living by the truth , doing what is right , treating others as you want to be treated , and avoid taking short cuts trying to beat the system. Last but not least remaining loyal to the one you love and the one who loves you.

We , meaning Arianna and I truly have no problems , we have zero drama in our life. Being in control of your life and keeping those out who want to try and poison you , again meaning anyone who wants to try and disrupt what you have.

Sometimes it is hard because at times you may even have to cut family off. There are those who feed off of drama , they need drama in order to live. These people are poison and poison does not enter my door.

I am not going to feed into your pity party , I am not going to feed into your oh poor me , I cant do anything right. If you know there is a problem , you know what the problem is, FIX IT..

Now if you come to me and say Vile I have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it will you help me , that is something I may consider.

I have spoken before about our Bubble , how we built a bubble to keep all the negative out , keeping all the drama out , other peoples problems , and those who try to disrupt what we have. I am very protective when it comes to my home and my wife and slave.

Sometimes Arianna and I will be out and a homeless person will approach us looking for money and 99% of the time I say no. Arianna ask me if I feel sorry for them and my answer is NO. We choose our own road , we choose our own path.

I may seem cold or heartless but I have learned over the years you have to protect your own because no one else will. The only one who has your back is the one who loves you , your partner. Many times today you cannot even depend on your own family , if they do offer to help you need to be able to give something in return.

Even being a Dominant there are rules in life we have to follow , we follow them to insure ours is taking care of, our home and family. When we start trying to take short cuts is when we fail.

The key is the Truth and only the Truth, if you tell the truth , you do not have to try and remember what you said. Telling a lie is something you have to keep covering up.. Just like someone who cheats , or abuses someone it never ends, not telling the truth is a never ending lie.

Life consist of two things and both have a powerful effect on our life, one being the choices we make , two being the consequences. Both have a huge impact on our life , and the decisions we make can either go the way we want , or we can crash and burn.

It is much different being in a Dominant role in a 24/7 relationship. Now we have two to think of instead of one. Our actions effect both now.

Just as the Submissive or Slave , the Dominant has to have an idea of what his life would be like with a partner. How he see’s his relationship. He has to have an idea of what type of submissive he is looking for.

The number one rule , Be careful what you ask for. That statement is very deep, because it gives you something to think about.

You the Dominant has to know how much responsibility you want to take over , you have to decide what type of protocols you want to put in place. You have to decide how much control you want handed over to you. You notice I have not mentioned rules yet.

Rules are meant to improve ones life, to help restructure , your taking old habits and creating new ones , good ones. It is impossible to give a submissive or slaves rules without knowing them on a personal level which does not include sex.

Once you agree to enter a relationship and you lay out your guidelines and what you expect, there is no turning back, it cannot be done, I have been there done that, and your relationship will fall apart and there will be no turning back.

Arianna’s post was very interesting , the thing is I know Arianna and I know the way she thinks. I watch and I observe on a daily basis. I keep the communication open and I make sure she talks to me, but then again I know when she needs to be left alone, I know when to let things ride for a while…. Knowing when to let something be until there is a better time will go along way in your relationship, instead of just trying to dig and dig and before you know it your at each others throat.

You can intimidate someone enough and they will submit out of fear and they will submit most of the time, but you have just wasted so much time and what you have is a bag of a lot of nothing.
You want your submissive or slave to give, you want them to have the need to kneel in front of you, with no shame.

A D’s Or M’s relationship runs way deeper than Fifty Shades Of Grey. Fifty shades shows one thing and that is kink and only kink. It does not explain what a true D’s or M’s relationship is about. It is really sad

cuffed

Vile