Archive for the Collared Slave Category

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.

Master/slave

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..

 

 

 

Collaring Your Property

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, collaring ceremony, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Married Dominant, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock with tags , , , , , on September 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Dominant gets that feeling when he first meets a slave or submissive.
The entire time while in deep conversation we sit there in deep thought, it is almost like being in another world, a world of our own.

I sit and listen, while I am talking to myself, my mind in soaking everything in. The words, the facial expression’s, hand movements , posture, hair, makeup, jewelry , the way she is dressed. Yes even down to the hands and nails. The way she drinks, the way she picks up her silverware , the way she eats, the way she drinks, I am taking in all of this information, yes even the way she ask and answers questions.

When I met Arianna I knew within the first 10 minutes if it would be possible to build something, I knew a relationship was highly likely.

Yes while it is true the first thing I noticed was her beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She carried herself very well. Nicely dressed, very feminine, her hair was almost perfect, and just enough makeup. Her hands are small, her nails were done. That is one of the first things I look at when it comes to a female. Nails hands and feet, and no I do not have a foot fetish. It is a sign of how good they take care of themselves, and how much they care.

Remember I am looking for a relationship, not a fuck buddy, or a piece of ass on the side. I was not looking for someone to suck my cock when I was lonely.

Every question had a purpose, every answer had a purpose. If I asked a direct question, I wanted a direct answer. If I did not get one I would ask the question in a different way same meaning different question.

My questions were not even BDSM related, they were about life, hobbies, likes and dislikes, food, music, work, and of course health, such as anxiety and depression. I wanted to know Arianna inside out before we parted for the day.

As a Dominant you want to get to know the submissive or slave as a person. I want to know there is a compatibility factor coming into play. I want to know we are going to have more in common than just BDSM.

You can teach someone how to suck cock, you can teach someone how you like to fuck, that is the easy part.

Your goal as the Dominant is to become friends, you cannot do that in just one or two meetings.

As I am talking to Arianna, I was imagining the type of collar she would wear, how it would rest around her neck.

See I was looking at the whole picture not only the now but the then, way down the road. I was picturing the two of us together, being out. Long drives going to different places. The whole picture, if you just live in the now you never get anyplace.

I use the word Property because it means ownership. When you place a collar around someone’s neck you are taking possession, thus the word property comes into play.

Many use several different collars, the consideration collar, the training collar, and a few others. I do not use any of those for a couple of reasons.
The slave or submissive is already under a lot of stress. I cannot even imagine what is going through their mind. I believe when we use the different collars we are in fact setting someone up for failure, because if it does not work out, this will cause a crash. I do however use a collar of protection this is worn when going out in the public to different BDSM events, such as Munchs or MAsT.
So I suppose at times I make up my own protocols, but I am me and I am the manager of my team, as a matter of fact I own the team.

We as Dominants or Masters should provide all information upfront. We should set the pace as far as how the relationship is going to go.
Meaning your going to go into some of the things you are going to include in your training. The structure you are going to help with, the communication. I believe as a Master we should have an open door policy. We need to let our property speak freely and express their needs, and if they have any questions or concerns.
I explain everything in such detail so that when I am done there are no questions.

I never tell someone when training has started, I just begin, you start off with small steps. The last thing you want to do is give someone a brain overload.

That is the same with Rules, Rules are meant to improve ones daily life. Rules are meant to build one up, remember taking bad habits and making good ones.
It is my opinion rules should not have anything to do with sex, because your going to get anything you want as a Dominant or a Master.
Telling someone they cannot masturbate for 2 months is not a rule, that is an ego, and nothing more. Telling someone they cannot masturbate has nothing to do with improving someone’s daily life.

Once we agree to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship we are then taking full responsibly for that slave or submissive, we have then made a total commitment, we have giving our word we would be there for them and only them.

My way is not the only way, and I know this, but I can show you the simple steps you can take so you can avoid all the headaches.

A dead give away, a Dominant tries to give you a collar on the first meeting, or even the first week, the first month.
That is a sign of desperation on his part, or he just wants to use you. There are way to many men out there that use a collar as a fuck tool. When your offered a collar you are sitting on top of the world, In our lifestyle there is no greater honor. To wear a collar your Dominant has offered you.

What makes the collar more special is knowing you have earned it. You have completed the training, well the start of it because it never really ends, but you have gotten to the point, the Dominant knows he has done well, and you have responded well. Now he wants to take ownership.

The collaring is meant to be special, it is meant to be remembered. When you get married does he just hand you a ring and say okay put this on we are married? Yea not to much of a special thing going on there.

It can be private, or you may have guest come over. You can have another Dominant preform the ceremony. You have a lot of options.

The collaring should start off with a conversation. The Dominant. I would like for you to except my collar, and these are the reasons why. A very detailed conversation, on the two of you, how you have grown, where your at now in the relationship, but more important where you plan to be in the future.

If your sitting at a Denny’s meeting for the first time, and your New Dominant reaches in his pocket and pulls out this cheap fake leather collar and says here put this on. I would hope you would call him an idiot and get up and leave.

There is a courtship in any relationship, be it D’s , M’s or vanilla. There is a process that each one of you take. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not, but do not let yourself be taken advantage of.

You the submissive should sit down with your Dominant and pick out your collar. Remember this is a huge step, in your journey.
What type of collar can you wear on a daily basis. When I collared Arianna at our wedding, I made it clear once I put it on it would never come off, and she accepted that, and to this day it has been off one time so a jeweler could look to see if he could add a Diamond to it. She wears it 24/7 and yes even to work.
The funny thing is no one has ever questioned her about it, or even mentioned it, at work or just out.

You have earned the collar wear it with pride.

collared1

Vile

Interview With A Slave. Greetings From Serbia

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, Collared Slave, communication, Discipline, Domme, exhibitionism, Fetish, fetishes, http://fenixwild15.wordpress.com/, Interview with a slave, married slave, Master And Slave, Rules, Serbia, slave, Submission, submissive on August 30, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

So we get to take another peek into a Slaves everyday life, but now for most of us we travel across the world to a beautiful country.

Where we are traveling BDSM is not accepted in any way, and is looked down on even more so than in the USA.

First I have the questions then I will  post the answers…. IW as going to post this much earlier, but again life happens..

Here is a link to her Blog as well.

http://fenixwild15.wordpress.com/

Hello

How are things going in Serbia ?

I have been really busy here, Arianna’s father passing, now I am selling his SUV just changing jobs, a lot.

I just wanted to ask you a few questions if I may nothing to personal. I have tried to find a program so I could read your blog, but Google or Bing will not translate for me anyway..

1. First how old are you and your Master, and how long have the two of you been married ?

2. Whose idea was it to enter the lifestyle and how willing was the other partner ?

3. Do you have rules and Protocols you have to follow on a daily basis, and if so could you please share a few of them ?

4. You had stated you live an M’s relationship, is that while being outside as well, meaning while your out of the home?

5. You stated BDSM is Taboo in Serbia, have you met any others in your country who are in the lifestyle?

6. How long did it take you as a slave to adjust to the lifestyle ?

7 Is your relationship micromanaged or are you pretty much free to move about?

8. Without going into deep detail is your relationship more about the Disicpline or does it involve kink as well such as bondage ?

9. What advice would you give to those who are trying to convince spouses that the lifestyle is a need for them?

10. Since I have gotten things messed up what is the weather like in Serbia?

Thank you so much for your time….

Vile

Hello Vil. Nor I do not have much time so late with the response. Sorry for Arijanna father.
Here about us :).
  I have 31 years, my Master is ten years older than me. We’ve been married ten years. We have not always been in a D / s relationship. In my life I have always been decisive and dominant, that is a sort of armor. In a very strange way I found out I was a masochist and the pain makes me stronger. I suggested to my husband to try erotic spanking and so it all began. He was very excited. And so I discovered one of my vulnerability and the need that not even I was not aware. I wanted to have a Master who controlled me completely. So we started something new M / s relationship. Given that we are very much together and that is a tacit understand, we have certain written rules . Always seek permission if you want somewhere to go, I have e-mails and codes that he does not know, I ask his opinion of clothing combinations.
  When you get home from work, waiting for him on my knees, without panties beside tables.
One of my favorite rules the bath. Almost always I bathe my Master, and he enjoys so that cares about me.
As for the other people who are members of the BDSM community in Serbia, with a couple of them we are personally acquainted with several them to keep their contact online using social networks. Here, there are not many couples, men who call themselves the homes are usually married, women or married so they bdsm excuse for cheating or read some stupid book as for example 50 shades of gray.
How much time do I need to adjust to life slave girl? In many ways, I quickly come upon us. In some a little harder, but most depend on the current mood, because, in the end, people are living with another bunch of problems.
Discipline … I am a person with a very sharp and venomous tongue :). Most time is spent my training to bite her tongue and resist not to answer hahaha. Penalties are usually ban orgasm as other things such as spanking, scourging, etc. as something positive.
Marriage M / s – advantages and advice: First, a man must be strong enough to prove that its worth, places Master, that my wife loves, protects, understand, given her attention. A woman needs to know its place, at the feet of her husband who loves and adores as much as it was under as slave, it must be inexhaustible source from which her ​​husband / Master takes effect. When everyone knows their place, marriage and relationships can only be developed.
As far as fetishes, we adore bondage, exhibitionism, erotic pictures, predicament bondage, however lots of stuff :).
We are currently looking for a girl who would play with us, where would I tried out as her dominatrix :).
Weather in Serbia is fine, summer and 36 degrees, with little rain :).
To write a message I used google translate, so I hope that I have enough to understand it if I was unclear, I now have more time and I’ll be happy to answer relevant questions.
Best regards from Serbia :))

The trick is to keep breathing…
Vile

 

 

 

 

What I Need, In A Slave, A Partner And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Collared Slave, Dominant, Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, rimming, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Most of you will probably not believe me, but I am really low maintenance. It has just been recently being with Arianna that I had even owned or thought about buying a pair of dress shoes.

My New Balance would last for a good 5 or 6 years, I had Jeans that were 10 and 12 years old, although my Shirts, dress and casual looked nice I am sure Donny Osmond wanted them back.

Jeans are not jeans until they are full of comfortable holes, the fading and the strings barely holding a section together.

I never complain about food as a young man in elementary school a good dinner did not happen often. Clothes were a luxury not a need. I remember while in the 6th grade one year I wore the same pair of pants to school everyday.

You would think it would not be noticeable but in my 6th grade class there were only 15 of us, and that was the whole 6th and they were my 8th grade graduation class as well.

During that year we lived in an old house with no power, we only had a fireplace to keep the house warm during the winter.

Both of my parents were alcoholics and addicted to prescription drugs, and both were in and out of rehabs on a regular basis. 

At the age of 15 I went to work at a local chicken processing plant working 2nd shit, I believe then I was paid 2.13 an hr. So my pay for 40 hours was about 85 dollar a week less taxes. After I turned 16 I went to work at a cotton mill making 6.00 an hr my pay jumped to 240 a week less taxes.  Those were union wages I might add. At the age of 16 that was good money. I think my pay when I joined the army was like 368.00 a month.

During this time I started working, this is when I started revamping who I was. I started purchasing nice clothes, shoes, and going out to eat most of the time, I always had money on me.

This is also when Vile began to only worry about Vile, this is when I started building what I call my bubble. Even then I let very few in.

It was somewhat earlier I had run across these little truck stop novels, I would lay in bed at night and read them. They were all about rough sex, incest, then it was really taboo to me, but as I read and I read, I could feel something inside being released. 

My confidence level had shot through the roof, I became popular in school and with the girls until the incident with Beverly, that was a post I did about our school whore. It was after that girls feared me, and I was left with what we called the sluts.

At the age of 17 My parents signed papers for me to Join the Us Army, I had to get the fuck out, because I was not going to spend my life working in a cotton mill which is closed today, or a nasty ass chicken plant.

I had to find me and I knew I wanted better. I had never been in any real trouble, and I have never been in jail.

I learned at a young age to appreciate the little things in life no matter how small they were or the meaning they had.

If you give me a used shirt and it fits I will wear it. It is the simple things in life I truly appreciate.

I can spend 2.49 on a tropical plant for my Awesome aquarium and I am like a kid in Toys R us.

Although we do have a couple of flat screen Tv’s that is not a need, I was just as happy with the old bulky TV .

Cars I really do not care what I drive as long as Arianna has something nice to drive, and of course with air. The man should always make sure his partner has something nice to drive. We are fortunate to have two new cars, but both of our car payments are less than what most pay for one car. Neither has power seats, the Fiat has power windows, but the jeep patriot has neither Arianna prefers the jeep over the Fiat. Before she was driving the Fiat back and forth to work, but I was concerned for her safety so I switched with her.

Keeping your life simple enables you to avoid many problems and drama, not to mention living beyond your means.  All of these things should be considered when forming what I call the bubble.

 You know while selling cars I had couples come in who made 300K a year and could not afford to put 1500 dollars down, they were that strapped. That my friend is no way to live.

Taking away from your family. Today family is everything, in today’s times one needs to work but you have to enjoy life as well. Over the years we have drifted apart, and we as family’s are no longer as close, mostly due to greed.

It took me sometime to come to a conclusion about what I really needed in a relationship, not what I wanted but needed.

If you settle for less than what you need , the relationship will fail it will not work no matter what you do. So you set your mind and you play by your own rules, those who choose to enter a relationship with you must play by your rules as well.

I needed a Slave and Not a Submissive, I had been in several short term relationships with those who were only submissive, and the relationships only lasted about 3 to 4 months.

I wanted a partner, a best friend, but also someone who needed to give up full control. Someone who knew who and what they were.

Someone who needed rules, someone who needed protocols , someone who needed direction. Someone who was not only loyal but needed to be loyal.

I refused to settle for less, and I dated and I dated , and I dated, and fuck I dated my ass off. Then one day I said fuck it I am done, I am moving out of country. At that point and time it was not about a steady relationship, it was about me. I already had work lined up in the Philippines, then I was introduced to Arianna. We all know the story from there.

You know I speak about how Arianna is a no limit Slave, let me clarify that for a minute. Living as a no limit slave has different meanings within each relationship.

To me no limits pertains to our sexual side, be it ATM Ass To Mouth, anal sex when I want no questions asked, face fucking, I get anything I want when I want, right down to being rimmed.

Now if you can imagine some of the other Taboo stuff, well I could have that as well. As Dominants and owners of property we have to look out for the well being of ours, mentally and physically.

In my mind I can have anything I want, when I want, and how I want without question.

You stand by what you need, and you stay with it. Never second guess yourself, because when you do you will fail. Do not be afraid to speak your mind. You are no ones property until you have earned their collar. Until then you can tell someone to go get fucked.

 collar62

I can talk shit because that collar has never been off. If some of you Dominants would stop being stupid you could have the same thing…. A partner who wants to serve.

vile

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
Image

Vile

Are You A Submissive Push Over ? You Have Rights You Know

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know it seems many who are new to the lifestyle are really gullible, because you believe anything your told, and without asking questions you just follow knowing something is not right.

I have talked about this before, when your first meeting a new Dominant or maybe a Daddy Dom.

You have to ask questions, and you have to know what questions to ask. Going into a relationship you already have some knowledge about what your role in the lifestyle you would like to take part in.
You have been reading, or maybe you have talked to others, so you have an idea what your role would be. You cannot let someone tell you what they think your role is.

Your a Slave, and you can be convinced you are, your a baby girl and you can be giving a few reasons and you will believe it. Only you truly knows who you are.

You also have to ask questions when you first meet, but there is a little known trick called Dominance through intimidation and most fall for it every time.

You will call me Sir, there will be no eye contact. You will wear a skirt with no panties.
You know coming from a Dominant those are really pretty stupid request, and have very little to do with D’s. None of the above have anything to do with submission when your first meeting someone.

One you have both agreed to enter a relationship, the no eye contact thing can be used as a training tool, but the subject of training is a whole new story..

Intimidation is an evil tool, and those who use it use it well. Your made to feel lost, your made to feel confused, and in some cases worthless, but the good thing is he is there to help you, and you feel so relieved.

The truth is you are told what is wrong with you, and what the Dom is doing is planting that little seed.

I have gone over this before, you need to write questions down so you don’t forget
Are you married ? If yes and he says I am but my wife knows and says it is alright, okay fine lets call her. After all if it is really okay he will not mind.
What you do not understand is you can get hurt, and worse you can get killed, do not think a wife is just going to let you walk in and take what she has built after putting up with all his bullshit.

How long have you been in the lifestyle ? Can I meet some of your friends ? How many D’s relationships have you been in and what happened ? When the Dom starts putting the blame on all of the subs you know something is wrong.

Where do you live ? Where do you work ? Can I come and visit ?

At this point and time no rules should be giving out because he does not really know you. I have said time and time again rules are meant to improve, your taking bad habits and making good ones..

You need to find out what his protocols are, you may or may not want to follow all.
You need to find out what is expected of you.
You need to find out if he is poly or will he remain loyal. Because if he says no but later on he wants to have a threesome you have the right to say no.

When I first met Arianna, it was almost 2 months before she started calling me Sir. I had to earn her respect. As a Dominant I could not demand her respect, I had to earn it.

Are you active in the local community? 99% of all Doms are active it is a need. We need to be able to communicate with like minded people. So for a Dom to say I have been in the lifestyle for 5 years or 10 years and not know anyone, yea hes pulling your leg.

I myself need that interaction with others in the lifestyle, I need to be able to communicate with others, and at times I need advice.

One bad sign to watch out for, is when he begins to isolate you from others. He will not want your family to know about him, he will decide which friends you can have and who you cannot have.

Another sign is wanting all of your passwords, that is a true sign of being insecure. It does not matter if your submissive or a slave you still need some form of privacy.

If you go into a relationship prepared things will be a lot easier. This will eliminate any problems and drama.

You also need to know what you expect out of your Dom. You need to know he is going to be willing to dedicate the time you need. You need to know if your going to call he will answer, or text. Today it is so easy to stay in contact. Even today I receive about 50 text or so from Arianna on a daily basis, and I answer each and everyone.

If something is not going as you think it should you have the right to question. If you do not agree with something you have the right to say no.
If your safe word is not respected you have the right to end the relationship.

The collar, is the most symbolic piece of jewelry in the lifestyle. The collar is suppose to have meaning, but most of all the collar is suppose to be earned.

If you meet a Dominant and he tries to collar you on the first meeting, you need to get up and walk out. Remember Domination through intimidation ?

The collar is earned, by completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, protocols on a daily basis, and how well you are adapting to the training process.

If a Dom says he can train you in 30 days he is full of shit, it cannot be done. It took me almost 6 months to even get where I thought we should be, and I would call myself an experienced Dominant, and almost two years later I am still making adjustments, adding and taking away where I set fit.

Taking that first step is a huge one and you need to be sure this is really what you are seeking.

I myself have neglected asking questions here not to long ago. As many know Arianna and I had been looking to add a third to our home, and I failed to ask the right questions, only to find out I was being played, I had already made the mistake introducing Arianna to the subs as well, and it turned out they were just playing games and had no real intentions of perusing a relationship.

So its just not the submissive that needs to ask questions it is up to the dominant to ask all the right questions as well.

Be safe, think smart.
Training does not start with sucking cock.

list

Vile

Our One Year Anniversary

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Anniversary, Arianna, bdsm, Collared Slave, collaring ceremony, slave, Uncategorized on June 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Our one year Anniversary , being married and the day I put my collar around Arianna’s neck. Together two years , but it seems as if it was only yesterday

June 15th was the most Awesome day of my live, I became a husband, Master and Owner.

Vile