Archive for the Collars Category

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
Image

Vile

Are You A Submissive Push Over ? You Have Rights You Know

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know it seems many who are new to the lifestyle are really gullible, because you believe anything your told, and without asking questions you just follow knowing something is not right.

I have talked about this before, when your first meeting a new Dominant or maybe a Daddy Dom.

You have to ask questions, and you have to know what questions to ask. Going into a relationship you already have some knowledge about what your role in the lifestyle you would like to take part in.
You have been reading, or maybe you have talked to others, so you have an idea what your role would be. You cannot let someone tell you what they think your role is.

Your a Slave, and you can be convinced you are, your a baby girl and you can be giving a few reasons and you will believe it. Only you truly knows who you are.

You also have to ask questions when you first meet, but there is a little known trick called Dominance through intimidation and most fall for it every time.

You will call me Sir, there will be no eye contact. You will wear a skirt with no panties.
You know coming from a Dominant those are really pretty stupid request, and have very little to do with D’s. None of the above have anything to do with submission when your first meeting someone.

One you have both agreed to enter a relationship, the no eye contact thing can be used as a training tool, but the subject of training is a whole new story..

Intimidation is an evil tool, and those who use it use it well. Your made to feel lost, your made to feel confused, and in some cases worthless, but the good thing is he is there to help you, and you feel so relieved.

The truth is you are told what is wrong with you, and what the Dom is doing is planting that little seed.

I have gone over this before, you need to write questions down so you don’t forget
Are you married ? If yes and he says I am but my wife knows and says it is alright, okay fine lets call her. After all if it is really okay he will not mind.
What you do not understand is you can get hurt, and worse you can get killed, do not think a wife is just going to let you walk in and take what she has built after putting up with all his bullshit.

How long have you been in the lifestyle ? Can I meet some of your friends ? How many D’s relationships have you been in and what happened ? When the Dom starts putting the blame on all of the subs you know something is wrong.

Where do you live ? Where do you work ? Can I come and visit ?

At this point and time no rules should be giving out because he does not really know you. I have said time and time again rules are meant to improve, your taking bad habits and making good ones..

You need to find out what his protocols are, you may or may not want to follow all.
You need to find out what is expected of you.
You need to find out if he is poly or will he remain loyal. Because if he says no but later on he wants to have a threesome you have the right to say no.

When I first met Arianna, it was almost 2 months before she started calling me Sir. I had to earn her respect. As a Dominant I could not demand her respect, I had to earn it.

Are you active in the local community? 99% of all Doms are active it is a need. We need to be able to communicate with like minded people. So for a Dom to say I have been in the lifestyle for 5 years or 10 years and not know anyone, yea hes pulling your leg.

I myself need that interaction with others in the lifestyle, I need to be able to communicate with others, and at times I need advice.

One bad sign to watch out for, is when he begins to isolate you from others. He will not want your family to know about him, he will decide which friends you can have and who you cannot have.

Another sign is wanting all of your passwords, that is a true sign of being insecure. It does not matter if your submissive or a slave you still need some form of privacy.

If you go into a relationship prepared things will be a lot easier. This will eliminate any problems and drama.

You also need to know what you expect out of your Dom. You need to know he is going to be willing to dedicate the time you need. You need to know if your going to call he will answer, or text. Today it is so easy to stay in contact. Even today I receive about 50 text or so from Arianna on a daily basis, and I answer each and everyone.

If something is not going as you think it should you have the right to question. If you do not agree with something you have the right to say no.
If your safe word is not respected you have the right to end the relationship.

The collar, is the most symbolic piece of jewelry in the lifestyle. The collar is suppose to have meaning, but most of all the collar is suppose to be earned.

If you meet a Dominant and he tries to collar you on the first meeting, you need to get up and walk out. Remember Domination through intimidation ?

The collar is earned, by completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, protocols on a daily basis, and how well you are adapting to the training process.

If a Dom says he can train you in 30 days he is full of shit, it cannot be done. It took me almost 6 months to even get where I thought we should be, and I would call myself an experienced Dominant, and almost two years later I am still making adjustments, adding and taking away where I set fit.

Taking that first step is a huge one and you need to be sure this is really what you are seeking.

I myself have neglected asking questions here not to long ago. As many know Arianna and I had been looking to add a third to our home, and I failed to ask the right questions, only to find out I was being played, I had already made the mistake introducing Arianna to the subs as well, and it turned out they were just playing games and had no real intentions of perusing a relationship.

So its just not the submissive that needs to ask questions it is up to the dominant to ask all the right questions as well.

Be safe, think smart.
Training does not start with sucking cock.

list

Vile

The Universe Gave Us A Submissive

Posted in bdsm, Collar, collar and leash, Collars, Submission, submissive, The Universe Gave Us A Submissive, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , on July 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Dominant was walking through a field one day ,and a female appeared out of nowhere . At first the Dominant was stunned, and the Submissive spoke.

I am here to serve you Master in anyway you see fit. I am here for your use and you may use as you see fit. I shall cook for you, I will clean your kingdom, I will kneel at your feet, you can take me anytime , anyplace you see fit. I will never argue with you because you are my world, I will never tell you that you are wrong, and I shall always walk the path you choose.

I will be here through good times and bad, I will take care of you when you are sick. You can communicate with me on all levels, and yes you may even confide in me, for what you tell me goes no further.

I will lay on my back and spread, I will crawl to you with pride, and yes you may take every hole. I shall welcome you in my mouth and I will proudly drink the seed you offer.

You may tie me up, you can use hot wax on me, you can use a crop, a flogger, a belt even a whip. You may spank me, gag me, and yes even at times humiliate me.

You may dress me up and show me off after all I am your property. You may talk about me the way a vanilla man would never do, you may put a collar and leash on me and I shall follow.

I will sit at your command, I will stand at your command and I shall go to bed at your command, I am yours use me as you see fit.

I only ask you play no head games, you are truthful with me as I am you. I would hope you would be honest with me as I am with you.
I promise I will not ask for much, I am only seeking your Love.

I shall wear your collar with pride, I will honor and cherish the collar that that you have offered this humble submissive.

I only ask one thing of you my Master and Owner

Take care of me. As I take care of you.

universe

Vile

Touch On The Collar

Posted in bdsm, Collar, Collars, Earning Your Collar, slave, submissive on June 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know a Collar does not have to be what I call the Gorean Collar. Although Arianna does wear one even to work. The truth is a Collar can be anything you see it being. A necklace, a bracket and anklet  , something you can reach and touch throughout your day to remind you of your submission.

The Collar has a very deep meaning and you the submissive should not take it lightly, in some cases it can mean more than putting on a wedding band for the first time.

If you meet a New Dominant and he tries to give you one on the first meeting, ask him one question. How did I earn this collar? That will shut him up right there in his tracks.  Never let someone give you a Collar and say lets start your training, ask him, How did I earn this collar.

If you take pride in the collar you will feel the deepest submission you have ever felt. If you earn your collar, you will feel the deepest submission you have ever felt. The rush does not go away, you will be walking on clouds for years to come.

That is what your after in your heart, you want to feel total submission, this is something you crave, it is a need. If you earn your collar you will have experienced the greatest feeling of all, and knowing you are truly owned.

Image

Vile

The Collar Is Earned

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Collar, collar of consideration, collar of protection, Collared Slave, collaring ceremony, Collars, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Formal collar, Humiliation, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Masters, owning a slave, play collars, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, TPE, Training Collar on May 17, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Over the years the Collar has lost much of its meaning. Today most come with Velcro, and many times the Dominant uses the same collar over and over, bought at a cheap adult store of even the flea market, and as your eating dinner out someplace its tossed at you and your told to put it on.

Just as the Dominant or Master has to remain consistent , the same goes for the submissive or slave, I am going to use an M’s relationship right now. A couple of weeks ago I made the statement that I did not believe a submissive should be allowed to wear a collar, for the most I still believe this, but there are true D’s relationships where the submissive does earn their collar, so I am kinda back tracking some.

The Velcro collar is really a your gonna suck my cock collar or I am going to fuck you collar nothing more. If you have earned your collar in a week, two weeks a month, you have to think what have I done to really earn the right to wear a collar. That should be your train of thought. Once the Velcro collar is placed around your neck the Dominants attitude then changes. He is more forceful, more arrogant , more non caring, you have seen this.

So the Dom you meet or Master they have to earn the right to be called Sir or Master. How do they do this ? They have to prove to you who and what they are. Surely this is something that cannot be done in a week or a month. They have to be everything they have told you and more. The Dominant has to prove that he has your best interest in mind, that he truly cares for you, that he truly wants you to be the best you can be. Again this cannot be done in a week or even a month, it is done by showing he can keep his word and stay consistent on a daily basis. So for someone to demand you call them Sir or Master is really pretty unrealistic. Who are you calling Sir or Master the Dominant or their ego? Are you going to feed into his ego ?

The Submissive or Slave earns their collar. How is this done ? It is by showing consistency , completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, following protocols on a daily basis. Can this be done in a week or even a month ? If your thinking with a clear mind you know the answer. Would you marry someone on the first date? Would you marry someone the first week? I really doubt it because you really do not even know them.

When I met Arianna I gave her a collar of protection. We went to local events, I had friends over who were in the lifestyle, we went out to dinner with friends in the lifestyle. I wanted her to see both sides of the fence. I wanted her to see other couples and how they lived. I wanted her to make new friends which has not really gone very well. Most of all I wanted to show her how a real M’s relationship worked.

I made no demands when it came to what she wanted to call me, for the longest she called me Vile, a month into the relationship she started to call me Sir. It would not be till almost a year before I placed a collar around her neck. The truth is she had proved way before she deserved my collar. As a matter of fact the first time I offered she refused stating she was not ready.

When we talk about a D’s relationship compared to an M’s relationship we are talking about two different worlds. Arianna has no rights at all. Arianna has no say at all, Arianna makes no decisions at all. Now this could be a bad thing if I did not have her best interest in mind, but the decisions I make effects both of us, so it is very important I keep a clear head. Because what I do does not just effect me it effects both.

June 15th of last year at 6.45am we were married, at that time we had our collaring ceremony, both the wedding and ceremony was performed by a slave. I placed the collar around Ariannas neck, and it has been off one time, and that was when we went to a jeweler to see if he would be able to add a diamond. It is locked, she cannot take it off, nor has she asked to take it off.  She does wear it to work, yes she works with the public. She does wear it around her family they know of our lifestyle, she does wear it around my family they do know of our lifestyle. She has the need to wear the collar, and when she reaches up to touch it, it reminds her of who and what she is.

Both have to remain consistent, both have to be willing to give, both have to have the want to give, both have to have the need to give, you have to have all of these ingredients for the relationship to work.

Once the collar is placed around the neck and it is locked it should not be removed. This is my belief.

There are play collars that are used, I do understand that. There is nothing wrong with wearing a collar during play. Wearing a collar during play gives the submissive a feeling of loss of control, maybe a little humiliation comes into play , it does spice things up.

There are several different collars. A collar of consideration, a collar of protection, a training collar, then the formal collar, so use a collar of ownership. I use two collars. A collar of protection, then the formal collar.

I am not speaking from a D’s aspect, I am strictly speaking from an M’s side of things. Master and Slave.

If you earn your collar, you will get so much more out of the relationship. If it is just giving to you, what meaning does it really have?

Image

Vile

My Training Techniques Do Work

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Behavior Modification, Collar, Collars, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook., FaceBook, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, gullible submissive, http://housemakai.wordpress.com/, Listen in at http://tobtr.com/s/6300283. ‪#‎BDSM‬ ‪#‎DSRADIO‬ ‪#‎MIKEMAKAI‬, molding your slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive on May 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Ive spoke about how the submissive and slave should have a plan going into a relationship. How they should know what they want, and the questions to ask.

A Dominant should have a clear plan when it comes to training. The Dominant should know what he wants out of the relationship. I had a picture in my mind, a very clear picture of how I saw myself living everyday with a slave. I could picture the slave I wanted to live with. The hair the eyes, the body type.

I had the mold set in my mind. I already had my rules that I intended to implement , I had my protocols. I could see the structure within the home. I had a very clear picture of my everyday life and I was not going to settle for less. Now rules do differ from submissive to submissive and slave to slave, but you should have a general idea.

Pussy is pussy, a blowjob is a blowjob, it is the connection that makes the difference, it is the feelings you have that makes the difference.

When entering the relationship ship you have to go in with each knowing their place. Dominant Submissive, Master and Slave. You have to keep that frame of mind.  If you the Dominant you start to let your true feelings out, you can and will lose control. I am not saying you do not care about or love, but you entered the relationship with an understanding. I have said it before once you start to lose control you can never regain what you had. This is because the submissive has seen the soft side of you.

Now to all the Fifty Shade Dominants , this is the one who jumps from submissive to submissive. They want the sex but when you add a little responsibility to the picture the relationship is short lived. You read a book, look at some pictures and your ready to collar a submissive.

The Collar is a powerful object when placed around your neck. You are now different, you feel different, you want to be different. This is when you the submissive or slave, this is your weakest time, your really not thinking to clear, meaning your letting your guard down.  Now almost anything is fair game.

There is a lot of good information out there, and there is a lot of bad information out there. Most of what you read in common sense, but if there is not something you understand then ask, I would say ask more than one 3,4,5 and look at all the answers.  Chances are one or two will be the same, it is then up to you to decide what your going to do.

I made a comment not long ago before I was introduced to Mike Makai Who is a Author , I made the statement that there was no book that gave us guidance when it comes to BDSM and I was sent the name of a book Written by Mike Makai it is called

Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Domination-Submission-The-BDSM-Relationship-Handbook/195981700585877

Then Mikes Facebook page is.

https://www.facebook.com/mike.makai.9

Mike also has a radio station on Blogtalk radio once a week.

D/s Radio ,  Listen in at http://tobtr.com/s/6300283. ‪#‎BDSM‬ ‪#‎DSRADIO‬ ‪#‎MIKEMAKAI‬

You can also listen to older shows on YouTube.

I have read his book now and as with anything I agree with a lot of it then there is some I disagree with. I am sure there are many things Mike does not agree with me on, but you know what it is all good. I have never claimed I know everything, but I do know what works for me. The BDSM lifestyle was not something I learned over night, I did not learn from a book, I learned from experiencing and I also had a mentor. To this day some twenty plus years there is still someone I confide in.

It is not often two Dominants will agree on anything. I know when Arianna and I attend different functions such as MasT meetings or munchs, when we walk in together I can smell the ego’s Wow the strongest smell in the world.

Arianna posted something a couple of days ago, about her training . She wrote about her experiences while in training. She also wrote how it helped her.

http://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2014/05/13/i-am-my-masters-slave-2/

I am my Master’s slave

This title has actually been in my drafts on WordPress since Christmas. I had a few minutes so I’d thought I’d try and see what kind of blog formed out of it.

“I am my Master’s Slave. “

That is so true if you think about it. If you were anything like me when I met Master Vile I was a bit of a blubbering mess. Spewing every aspect of my crazy life to Him in the hopes that He would accept me,  faults and all.  To my amazement,  He listened to my inner workings,  thoughts and fears.  His response to me was pretty much that I needed to be wiped clean.  I needed to forget what I had learned up to that point and allow Him to mold me into something more.

You can continue reading from her post it goes into more detail, but you will see how my training helped her.

I was speaking to a Dom not long ago, I do not usually use names but his name is Mark , and he had used one Submissive until she was drained, and went through several others, until he was able to leach onto her.  He told me he was going to train her, I said cool man what type of training. Mark said the usual stuff, I said yea I use the usual stuff too. So I said what are some of the things you are going to incorporate and again the usual stuff. So in reality he did not have a clue. Mark really has no concept of the lifestyle. He also made it clear when meeting a new submissive she was going to fuck on their first meeting or she was not submissive, yea Arianna heard this as well.

So as Arianna explained on her blog she was indeed a complete mess, but not as bad as she thought but she was clearly headed down a dirt road of destruction.

So I began to take things away, more so freedom, I have spoken about this before. I implemented new habits. I limited her space within the home. Where she could sit, where she could stand, how she spoke to people, I implemented protocols . To change bad habits and make new habits you have to stay consistent on a daily basis. Once everything is in place, you cannot change anything up or at least I do not. My rules were not sexual. Rules are meant to change habits, in my eyes anyway. I brought structure into the home, we had no Drama, we had zero problems and to this day it remains the same. Once you complete your what I call bubble, it is very important to make sure nothing penetrates it disrupting what you have worked so hard on building.

You will find what works for you, when I first met Arianna I spent about a week putting a plan together, something I thought would work and it did. I started training and she did not have aclue

I do know if you enter the relationship and it is based on sex alone it will not work for very long. If you are with someone who sees your submission as a weakness and he is not looking out for your well being , your clearly not going to get anything out of the relationship, except problems, and the drama..

Now the question is am I right? Maybe not in every ones eyes. Does everybody agree with me probably not ? What I do know what I do works for me it works for us. I do dedicate a lot of time to insure everything runs as it should.

Ive always said have a plan and stick to it, if you remain true to who you are, things will work out. I know doing things my way has worked in the past, and what has failed was on my part, and I have no one to blame except for me. Yes I do take the blame for past relationships not working, but I learned from my mistakes, and Ive grown over the years, maybe my hair turning white so early has made me wiser.

 

Image

Vile

Should A Submissive Be Allowed To Wear A Collar

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Dominants, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, slave, submissive on May 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something I have been thinking about for a very long time. Then I ran across an author who has written a book on BDSM relationships he also has a weekly radio show on the internet .  His name is Mike Makai His book is called Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook.

Mike Also has a radio station on Blog Talk Called D’s radio, you can also find on youtube as well.  I am going to post a link from youtube so you can listen it is almost an hour long but it has a lot of good information.

While going through some of his past shows I ran across one I have always found interesting. Collars. This was the first time someone else had almost the same views as I do so I wanted to share.

Just as most Dominants do we become somewhat lax in our beliefs, perhaps there was a time where I took somewhat of a softer stance, we all change as we grow, and BDSM has changed so much over the past 10 years or so. Respect, protocols, rules, the list really goes on and on.
Arianna and I were over at a Doms house a couple of weeks ago eating dinner, his two slaves spent the day cooking and while eating dinner our conversation led to this very topic about how BDSM has changed, again the lack of respect, and protocols.

Local events such as munchs and MasT groups have let their protocols down because of numbers in attendance . More people equals better munchs or MasT meetings. So now anyone can attend no matter what they believe, no matter how they act, no matter how disrespectful they maybe.

So Master R begins to tell me how if the MasT groups did not loosing up on their rules there would be very few people, so the leaders would have no one to lead, the leaders would have no one to teach. So we had to open our doors to everyone.

I was sitting there just looking at him with a blank stare, I was in total disbelief.  Then I say so to get greater number you just forget what we stand for. Wow

No protocols , no structure no rules, what do you have ?

Master R’s new slave was wearing a collar of consideration , then she will move to a training collar, if she makes the cut. Once she receives the training collar if she makes it through training, she will then receive THE COLLAR.

I do not use either, and I have reasons just as Mike explained on his radio show. If you give a slave a collar of consideration and the slave does not make the cut you have to take it off. I believe this could be devastating to the slave, then if the slave does make the cut and moves to training and is giving the training collar but the slave does not make the cut, again you take the collar away.

I stand very firm on my beliefs when it comes to collars. A collar stands for ownership, you do not own a submissive, you do not own a Baby girl, you own a slave. A slave is owned property.

Most submissives if giving a collar do not wear them 95% of the time, even if given a collar that can be worn out in public such as a necklace you very seldom see a submissive wearing a collar. If you have been to local events very few wear a collar.

How ever I do agree with wearing a collar during play time, this gives the submissive a greater feeling of submission, but to wear out in public I find it very disrespectful

So Little bopeep on wordpress did a post on collars so I wanted to share her link with you. She did spend time doing research and shared her thoughts.bopeepmeetsmrwolf.wordpress.com

collars part two

I am no longer Lax I stand firm in what I believe and no one is going to sway me away from what I believe. I have one collar and one collar only. That is what I call a formal collar.

I can also tell you that very few have made the cut, just because of my beliefs and the fact that I will not bend. No training collar, no collar of consideration. The collar and only the collar.

A submissive agrees to submit, but a submissive submits on their terms, a submissive chooses when and when not to submit. A slave does not have that right. A submissive is not owned, a slave is owned a slave is property. There for the slave has the right to wear a collar.

Image

Vile