Archive for the conceded Category

Earning Ones Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, conceded, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants who suffer from depression, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, Health, Humiliation, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, pussy, Rules, self confidence, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, violence, you have to train yourself with tags , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First of all I would like to apologize for yesterdays post. That post is not who or what I am. After being called out in public by someone who clearly has no clue about submission or the lifestyle just really set me off.
If it had been a private email things would of been much different and probably not even brought up.

At one time I just expected submission, if you were submissive you belonged on your knees with a full mouth. I did not want to hold you, I did not want to hear about your day, I could care less about your family or friends. In fact I did not even want you to speak unless you were cooking and wanted to know what I wanted to eat.

Those who are true slave, and submissive’s are not weak, infact those who wish to submit are very strong, and most are very intelligent, but for some reason some see it as a weakness, and some Doms prey on such.

So it took me from about the age of 14 until I reached maybe 31 to realize there was so much more out there.

The truth is when I looked at a woman , I saw three holes and nothing more. You were only good if you were on your knees, your back or ass in the air.
Aftercare was unheard of, you know fuck that. If you want aftercare hold your pillow.
That was really my train of thought. Women were put here to suck cock, cook and clean.

I remember being out in California, I was seeing this little Blonde, well okay I saw her once. As she was sucking my cock in the Mcdonalds parking lot while I was eating my big mack, I didn’t even let her finish. I pulled her up by her hair and looked at her eye to eye, and I asked, what the fuck are you doing ? I am sucking your dick. Um no your being stupid and your broken, I started the car and she asked where we were going and I said I am taking you home, then I am going to jack off.
If you wanted to hang out you were going to suck my dick, or lay on your back. That was really my train of thought.

By the time I left Korea I knew how easy it was to get in someone’s head. It was so easy to play off of someone’s emotions. Once you were able to find that emotion button, it was game on, until I grew tried of her, which was maybe a week, that was a long term relationship to me.

When I first met you within the first 5 minutes, I knew if you sucked dick, and took it up the ass, if you answered no to any of those two questions the conversation was over.

Although I was active in the community, it was really hard for me to hookup with anyone at the local events, because they all knew me, and what I was about.

My early 30’s my train of thought began to change, as I began to have more interest in submission. I wanted to know what made them tick, what made them think, and why they needed to be submissive.

Over the years I have seen a pattern, this does not include EVERYONE so please take note.

I have had the privilege of meeting a lot of slaves and submissive’s , and one thing I have noticed , while each is very unique many had something in common. Many suffered from depression , anxiety , and even bipolar while most were on medication there was a handful who were not.
Many of these women tend to trust way to easy, thus making them an easy target.
The one major thing they all have in common is they are looking for security, they are seeking a home, and someone who will provide structure and safety.
Under the right circumstances many will adapt without question.
I can assure you that you will not find a more loyal partner. All we have to do is provide the right setting.
I have said in the past the first 90 days are the hardest but that is not always the case, many will fall right into place with the proper communication.

Trust is a huge issue and many are willing to turn over their life to you, in hopes you will take care of them.

If the Dominant is truly interested in you, he will have a long list of questions.
It is up to you to answer and be as honest as you can. If the answer is no, do not be afraid to say no, do not say yes just to please.

You should never allow anyone to demand you call them Sir , Master or Daddy. The Dominant will know it will come in time, he will know he has to earn your trust, and respect.

I know twenty years ago I didn’t care what you called me as long as you were on your knees. I had the attitude a woman had three pussy’s and they were just used as a cum dump nothing more. If I wanted to see you again I would say so, but I would make it clear I was not looking for anything long term.
Hey Vile can I come and visit? Sure you can if you plan on sucking cock I could use the company, that was the attitude I had, but I never lead anyone on.
Today I am not sure why some men have that need, why they have the need to lead on. Make someone believe something that is not true.
Well I plan on leaving my wife, yea we all know that is bullshit because if he was going to leave his wife he would just do it
Trust me I am not having sex with my wife. Really ? Get the fuck out. There is pussy in his bed and it is not free so he is fucking her.
My wife said I could see other people. Okay fine let me talk to her, since she does not care.
Yea then his cock sucker shuts up, well um not today or its okay she just does not want to know.
Okay when are you leaving? Why have you not left already if she is such a bitch ?

Last, a man who has a temper, a man who has a drinking problem, a man who is cheating on his wife , a man who is abusive , mental or physical , a man who lies.

Listen to me, that man is no Dominant, that man is no Master, That man is no Daddy Dom. In fact that man is nothing at all, he is just taking up valuable oxygen others need..

If a man cannot control his own life how can he control someone else?

Someone said the other day I am an egomaniac , and that statement is so far from the truth.
I may be a little cocky at times, but in real, I am just very confident.

crying

Vile

If something is earned you have so much more respect. There is no greater gift than earning someone’s submission.

A Dominant Who Is In Control

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Commit, commitment, communication, conceded, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets us Separate The good and the Bad Dominant, and I hope I paint a very clear picture, on what you should expect.

Learning control was something that took me a very long time.
Control while around My wife and Property.

If I told you Vile never loses his temper I would be lying to you.
I remember while at a Dodge Dealer ship one of the sales supervisor’s pissed me off, and I took my hat off and threw it across the showroom and yelled, you can all go fuck yourself. Yea I did not get fired like I thought I would, they new Vile was just being Vile.

The bottom line is I do get angry, I get very angry. Maybe that is just my vent, or if people didn’t try and fuck with me, it is a possibility I would never lose my temper.
Just like stupid people you can only handle so fucking much, until you blow like a volcano, but my Lava runs for days.

Our partners , our slaves, our submissive’s , we set the example. We are leaders. We lead they follow.

As a Dominant we have to earn respect, we have to earn trust. We are the teacher, we train, we lead, and we give advice.
We attend Doctors appointments ,
We not only want to be part of their everyday life, we need to be part of their everyday life.

You know I look around and I see how many Dominants , and how they just live a life of self inflicted problems and drama

So they fall under three categories. One they are just down right stupid, two they really don’t give a fuck, or three they do not have a clue.
The truth is you can only fake something so long you are exposed.
You have to ask yourself a question ? How far are you willing to go to fuck someone’s life up ?

Many people think I am somewhat unorthodox in my ways, many think I am to strict. Many think I am to extreme in my beliefs.
However I do not have a revolving door of women coming and going.

I think your ways are wrong Vile. Really now, tell me Mr. Dominant who has had 5 subs in less than two years, So who is wrong?

No one is wrong unless you fall under any of the three above, but then again in your mind nothing is wrong. Shrugs it does not effect me in any way.

So you spend much of your time arguing with your sub when your together. So you think this makes you some kind of special in someway.

In reality if you are who you say you are, you act the way your suppose to act, you do what you say your going to do, your truthful, and honest.
You can have anything you want in your relationship, the sky is the limit.
Your submissive will crave to give you what you need, they will want to please you in any way.

Someone made an argument sometime ago when I made the statement. Dominants are a different breed of men, and I stand by that statement.
When I sold cars, I met a lot of Pussy’s who could not make a decision and would not unless their wife approved.
I would get a call, well my wife said I could not get a new truck for work, she is getting her car first. I was like WOW your putting food on the table, and she is sitting home all day watching Jerry Springer.

Love has nothing to do with being a different breed. When run our house, although we listen, we do have the final say.

What you put into your relationship is exactly what your going to get out of it, and many of you never catch on.

What your stuck on is a title and nothing more. If your the CEO of a large company and you go bankrupt what kind of CEO are you. If your a Daddy Dom, a Dominant or a Master and your relationships continue to fail, yea well you can answer that one on your own….

Those of you who are slaves and subs, baby girls. If your in an abusive relationship and you choose to stay and your hoping it will get better. Then you deserve what you get.
The Dom your with is not the only one out there, just like your not the only one out there.

I made the comment sometime ago , that our problems were self inflicting , and I got some negative feed back about that statement, but it is true.
We tend to try and take short cuts instead of following our path, and when we get off the path we are suppose to take, then the problems start caving in..
Then it is no longer our fault, someone else did it, we blame others. It is about accepting the responsibility , and owning up to our wrong.

When I was younger I was one of the ones who used so to speak, but I would make it very clear upfront that I was not interested in anything long term. So I wonder if that was still considered using someone?
I think many will just follow in hopes things may turn around , that a relationship will evolve , but in the back of their mind they really know.

Most real Dominants are true gentlemen, most are somewhat conceded , but still remain gentlemen. Most are very secure, but still are gentlemen , most are cocky but still real gentlemen. Most are very positive as well.
Most who are not just interested in sex but you will show their true colors even before meeting..

Most of us Dominants have a code of ethics we follow. We are very respectful , we are proud , we are honest, and caring. We put our property first before anyone or anything else. We live by the truth and only the truth. We are not married cheating on our spouse, the list goes on and on, but you get the picture….

Much Love

leash

Vile

Sometimes Change Is Needed For The Better

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, Behavior Modification, communication, conceded, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, extreme, Honesty, Kink, kinky, Lie, Master, Protocol, punish, slave, submissive on June 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Once a Submissive or Slave enters a relationship their whole world is turned upside down, not in a bad way, just a lot of adjusting/ After all it is the Slave who has to adjust in the newly found relationship.

I call it a training process, reprogramming if you will. The Slave or Submissive will do so willingly and without question, if their heart is truly in the right place. As a Master we are there for the betterment of ours, we seek to improve in areas that need to be payed attention to. We are there for moral support, guidance, advise, and to teach our ways. Focus is really important, and after a day or so you can see where the Slaves heart is, and just how serious they are about their new role.

We set rules, and we expect the rules to be followed, as we know I am huge on Protocols, but I take it one step further. I do what is called Behavior Modification , nothing extreme. Before you jump to any conclusions I will explain.

I take bad habits away and replace with good habits. I make it perfectly clear from the start my house my rules, nothing less nothing more. Arianna was late on bills at times not because she did not have the money, she just forgot, or staying up to late and having to work the next day, I could go on and on. So we as Dominants come up with full proof plans and start introducing things a little at a time, until everything is just at a steady flow. Nothing goes wrong because everything just falls into place.

I am not being conceded with this statement but it is true. I am seldom wrong, not very often, because I think things out clearly, but most of all I look at the choices and consequences. If I do something I have a purpose, if I say something I have a purpose. Arianna is still learning, but she will tell you the same thing.

So we get into the flow of the relationship everything is going as planned and smoothly, but you can fall into a rhythm and get to comfortable , the Slave does not really see this, nor do they she a big change, but the Dominant has to catch it before it gets out of control. Once the Dominants loses control, and the Slave knows, it is almost impossible to regain, thuse the end of the relationship.

I have spoken before about being consistent, being consistent daily, hourly, staying on top of things is really important. Keeping your word means everything, once you lie, or you change rules mid-stream the Slave knows and starts to lose trust.

However, there is always a however, or a but. However, if the Dominant does see a problem, he can start to make small changes within the relationship and stop things from getting out of control. These are changes for the good

A good Dominant can train a Slave or Submissive, with out them even knowing, this is done by planting a seed, the power of suggestion. You are planting an idea or a thought, again for the betterment. It may take sometime for them to catch on, but one day while standing in line at the super market, they go WOW really, now I understand.

Although Arianna and I have awesome communication, there are times or things I do not share, it is not to hide anything or mislead, these are known as a need to know basis. I forget what it was but I was handling something that came up and I never spoke about it, once it was taking care of, Arianna asked me, then she said I guess it was on a need to know thing. Yes you are correct.

Some Slaves get along living alone, going out, even without a Dominant. Then there are those who need to be micromanaged, those who stress real easy, or become easily confused about a situation. So we share something and some we do not. This does not mean that Arianna cannot question me about something, lets face it men screw up, I or we are not perfect.

The downside to this is those who are not real, or serious about the lifestyle. I am not sure if fake is the correct word, maybe just into the kink but not the control part of the lifestyle. If you are misleading from the start and it takes six months to a year before the slaves catches on, a lot of damage can be done, and it could take the slave a very long time to recover.

A lot of thought has to beginning when entering a new relationship. We have to look closely at the Slaves needs. We have to drill them for answers so we know exactly where they are coming from. If this is not done it can be a bad mistake on both parts, and the relationship is doomed from the start.

Changes can be good if done slowly, and carefully. It should be a long thought process before making any real changes, and the changes should be done slowly and almost unnoticeable , again planting the see, and idea or a thought.

After all if the Slave or Submissive is going to give 100%, we as Dominants should be willing to give 110%.

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Vile

Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s. What are you?

Posted in bdsm, Breaking Rules, Cherish, conceded, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominants, Fetish, kinky, Loyal, Master, rude, Rules, Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s, slave, submissive, Submissive Brat on December 23, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I ran across this article on Tumbler , Hmm I forgot I even had an account there. Southernbarbie asked me to post about a Brat, which I think fits her really well.

What this article did not cover in the Brat section was, most brats when around other females are usually pretty rude, they can be somewhat cold, and short to the point. The brat needs to be the center of attention. Most times a brat is hard to control, but can be tamed with the right partner, but at times she can still be somewhat defiant, stubborn, and if she has any rules, she does not think twice about breaking one. The brat worries about the consequences at a later date. Most of the time the brat thinks she can talk her way out of trouble.

With the right partner she can however be controlled, when in the company of her Boy friend or Dom.The truth is most brats are very loyal, and very seldom stray, the same with a slave. Both know it is very hard to find someone who truly understands them.The true brat comes out mostly when he is not around , this is the the true brat emerges. In most cases if a female is not in her circle of friends, she looks down on other females. She has the need to be spoiled, the center of attention, and only hears what she wants to hear. Most brats are shopping addicts, and they have a fixation with shoes.

Anyway I was able to reblogg this on tumbler, which Until a few minutes ago, I did not know I even had an account, and I do not forget very much.

By BDSM Tourguide via A Submissive’s Journey

Although each submissive has their own personality, quirks, flaws and merits, each will usually fit into one of the following seven categories of submissive behavior.

Please do note that these are only the most common types of submissives; others do exist, but to much lesser degrees.

Type One: The “Little Girl” Submissive – Ever-blushing and ever-giggly, the “little girl” type of submissive is the consummate child actor. She will usually use every cute little hair twist and every sweet little smile in her arsenal to make sure everyone finds her to be the sweetest little girl in the whole community. These little girls typically ooze sweetness and often make dominants and other submissives in the community wonder what they’re really up to. Little girl types usually do not get along with other little girl types at all, as they typically crave attention and one little girl trying to muscle in on another little girl’s turf is an open threat to the incumbent little girl’s monopoly on attention-getting. For this same reason, little girl submissives do not usually do well in polyamorous relationships, preferring to be the sole object of their partner’s attention. A positive aspect of little girl types is that they are usually unwaveringly devoted to their partners and once they find a partner, they are unlikely to leave that person. From a purely psychological perspective, one has to wonder if the little girl type uses her wiles and charms and craves attention to cover up self-esteem issues.

Type Two: The “Tame Me” Submissive – The “tame me” type of submissive is overly rebellious, overly strong-willed and overly confrontational with dominant types. They want to find, in their own words, a strong dominant to break their spirit and make them be the submissives these girls just know they can be. This type of submissive doesn’t seem to realize that most dominants enjoy a spirited submissives and don’t actually want to attempt to train a wild pony only to have it turn into a old gray mare once they saddle-breaking phase is completed. A submissive that shows qualities of rebellion, will and spirit are often looked upon appreciatively by dominants, but the tame me type of submissives tend to take these traits to the next level. Ordinarily, once a tame me type is actually tamed, she becomes bored with her relationship and begins looking anew for better challenges. These submissives do not often form lasting relationships within a BDSM community. A positive thing about the tame me type of submissive is that they are really fun for the first couple of months, but after they have been tamed, they tend to settle into predictable ruts until they are ready to leave the relationship, then they will begin to act out again in hopes that someone, who is not their current partner, will attempt to tame them once again.. Psychologically speaking, one wonders is a tame me type is merely playing hard to get in order to find a partner that will put up with them and not become overly baffled when the submissive ceases to be a challenge and then leaves for another person that will do it all over again.

Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. These submissives are usually only SAMs, or Sammie, to their partners or people they know very well. Usually, their Sammie behavior isn’t actually a cry for attention; it’s just their way of being playful. In fact, most SAMs when actually threatened with punishment will back off, saying that they were only playing and that they didn’t mean anything by it. Occasionally, this behavior can be incredibly frustrating to their partners who, by the time the SAM has agitated their partner into frenzy, are looking to string the SAM submissive up by their toes and see how many fresh red marks can be created. Interestingly enough, most SAM submissives are not actually masochists. They actually do not want to be punished for their actions as, to them; they were just playing around to begin with. The positive thing about a SAM sub is that they are usually great fun and very playful partners. Occasionally, they are playful to an infuriating level and will occasionally push their partners until their partners are ready to torture them just to relieve the stress. Psychologically speaking, a SAM is probably not actually looking for punishment or attention, but just wants to show their affection by acting the way they do. The SAM is usually subdued by a couple of harsh words, because once they realize they have stopped being fun, they do not enjoy the feeling associated with causing their partner actual distress.

Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which she comes into contact. Oddly enough, to their partners, brats are, almost unanimously, not bratty. The brat knows full well that their partner can and will punish them, and probably would if their partner caught them acting the way they do in a community. Brats are usually very good submissives once they find a partner, but their confidence in knowing full well that they have a partner and no one else can lay a finger on them typically causes their behavior. Anyone that’s ever fallen victim to the behavior of the brat can usually stop the brat’s behavior toward them with a well-worded email to the brat’s partner, along with any specific bratty remarks copied and pasted into the text of the mail. The good thing about brats is that they are, almost unanimously, actually very good submissive. They usually behave very well to their partners and are usually very easy to get along with in relationships. Psychologically speaking the brat probably acts the way she does, because of the sense of security afforded to her by the knowledge that she has a partner and no one else is allowed to touch her. The brat, once reported to their partners for their behavior, tend to settle down and treat the person that has reported them quite respectfully. The brat will normally only push the people she knows she can push.

Type Five: The “My Master is God” Submissive – Also known as they “I have a master and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their masters can do absolutely no wrong and that their master’s word is as good as law and that their masters know everything there is to know about everything. The “My Master is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their masters, what their masters have done to them, or for them, or with them in the past, or any other tidbit of assumed wisdom their masters have ever passed along to them. Suffice it to say that conversations with these types of submissives can get old very fast, and most people would almost rather eat broken glass than converse at length with this type of submissive after she has related her favorite “My Master did this” story for the third or eighth or hundredth time. The good thing about the “My Master is God” submissive is that they are very, very devoted. These submissives are usually crazy about their masters and hang on his every word. Mostly, it seems, this type of submissive is usually very new and inexperienced, and frequently their masters are, too. Psychologically speaking, one wonders if these submissives are under the effects of psychoactive drugs or mind control, because most sane people are not this devoted to their partners. This type of submissive is frequently very new and very inexperienced, and therefore has nothing much of value of her own to add to a BDSM-related conversation. Her master, too, might be inexperienced, but as long as he treats her well and what he says seems to make sense, she will hang on his every word, believing that he knows more than anyone else possibly could. People in disagreements with this type of submissive will often find that, unless they have at least five documented, proven bibliographical sources to back up a claim or opinion that differs from this submissive’s master’s claim or opinion, then this submissive will never believe a word of it, choosing to believe instead that anything her master says is the absolute truth.

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit. To this slave archetype, submissives merely play at being slaves, and anyone not in a 24/7 TPE-type relationship cannot possibly understand what it really takes to be a slave. Somewhere along the way, the slaves falling into this category forgot that the traditional, BDSM-defined slave is supposed to be demure, servile and meant to be seen and not heard. The good thing about the “I am Slave” type is that they are often very committed, very talented, willing to sacrifice anything for their master and willing to submit to any kind of torture, torment, punishment or practice their masters desire. These slaves rarely safe word out of any situation, and frequently don’t even have safe words. Psychologically speaking, the level of ego required to drive a self-proclaimed slave to this level of verbosity and fervor seems directly contrary to the actual personality required of accepted, established slaves. It is likely that, if an Old Guard Master ever found himself in care taking or in possession of this type of slave, he would first begin her experience under him by gagging her or taping her fingers together to prevent her from vocalizing or typing exactly how great of a slave she is.

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be. The true submissive will serve anyone and allow herself to be disciplined by anyone claiming to be dominant. The true submissive will usually be found off to the side and out of the way of everyone, rather than openly interacting with people. The good thing about the “true” submissive is that they can be educated and trained out of these types of behavior. Through training and education, these submissives often find that they are allowed to say no to people. They find out that they can get involved in conversations and don’t have to be wallflowers in social situations. They also find out that they are allowed to want, need and expect things as any other person would. All they need is some encouragement. Psychologically speaking, there’s nothing at all wrong with the “true” type submissive, other than they need some guidance and that they probably got some bad advice from an online dominant or an online submissive. With good advice and guidance, these submissives can easily turn out to be fine submissives, or they can turn into one of the other six types mentioned here.

There are also, of course, the “normal” submissives that enjoy carrying on conversations, are very openly opinionated and very capable of handling themselves in social situations. It is to these kinds of submissives that others would do well to look to as role models and advice-givers.

(source) A Submissive’s Journey

What kinkycasey said lol, i read it and was like so because it says that then that’s how i must be XD Pfft!

Source: hiscleverpet

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Vile