Archive for the Consensual Category

My Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mentor, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , , on July 16, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

By the early 80’s I had somewhat of a grasp of what the meaning of BDSM meant , but I did not know how to really implement anything as far as building a relationship.

I had lived with chong for almost 7 years and we really just winged it even after chong moved beth in. Beth was someone I really disliked but only went along with it because it was a need for chong.

Shortly after chong had left and went back to Korea , I guess I went through a early midlife crisis . This is when I thought I was missing something in life but little did I know it should of been left as a passing thought. I had to get married , I wanted the house with the fence , the dog and kids. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake I would ever make in my life.

I knew before I married it was a mistake but I had put a plan in place and I was going to stick to it. Nine miserable years just short of ten years and I was free. Something I learned early on as a Dom was I had morels , I placed standards on myself when it came to my integrity and I would not bend. The duration of my marriage I remain Loyal , I never stepped outside of my marriage. I felt that any Dom who claimed to be such should have higher standards but through out the years I have found many do not and just as many lack integrity. Many associate BDSM with just fucking and kink nothing more and then they complain when things go south.

I divorced and both went through a paralegal to complete the paper work. I had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but soon after I realized 85 a week was really nothing.

I left with nothing and about 1200 dollars in my pocket , to make things worse I was in between jobs. I rented a apartment for 600 a month and I talked the landlord into letting me make payments on the deposit.

While sitting in the waffle house one night , just getting off of my day labor job , yes day labor paid daily. Anyway I over heard two taxi drivers talking about how much they made that day. One was 250.00 and the other boasting about the 560.00 he made that day. Bam the next day I applied , passed background check then drug test and I was set.

The first 3 months I found to be hard , I did not know the ropes but little did I know things would change. The owner of the company Francis took a liking to me and gave me two dedicated runs daily that would give me a take home of about 250.00 dollars a day plus what ever else I made.

Soon after I bumped my child support up to about 150.00 a week because I knew how hard it must be for a single mother to try to raise a child..

Sometime passes and came the breakup , while in the hospital my slave left and moved on. Wow what a rough year that would prove to be. After leaving the hospital it would take me almost a year to recover. The only thing that kept me a float was the two dedicated runs I had , other than that I slept in the car while waiting on a call.

I pulled up on the taxi stand where most drivers sat through out the day waiting on a call. I seldom sat there , mainly because I had those two dedicated run and a dozen of regulars that kept me running most of the day. I pulled up next to this car and I noticed it was a new driver. This guy looked like a pissed off santa clause and I am just looking at him , he looks at me and says well does that cock sucker you have work ? I said excuse me really? He stated well if you are not like most of the bitches here speak the fuck up.

Wow! What in the fuck crawled up your ass and died you old mother fucker , did someone piss in your glass of Im pissed off at the world today?

Then out of nowhere he shouts fuck , I forgot to feed her. So I asked what? He stated my bitch is chained to the floor and she cant reach the fridge. You have your dog chained up? No you stupid mother fucker I would never chain a dog up , my slave you ignorant fuck . Then he started his car and drove off.

Later that night I was thinking about this old dude for what ever reason , I could not get him out of my mind. Thinking there was someone else out there like me , well kinda like me , I was not as grumpy.

Somehow Animel had the ability to pull in some very beautiful women and I remember one who is still in my mind today. She was half American and half Taiwanese. Probably 5’1 and less than 100 pounds. As I had mentioned while driving a cab part time , I took a call over the radio and pulled into this apartment complex and out came walking this drop dead gorgeous woman well young woman , I am guessing in her mid 20’s. It was like a movie , time seemed to stop and as she walked her hair was blowing in the wind. She wore this crop top and a pair of Daisy duke shorts and sneakers. She was not very friendly and really pretty snobbish so I just ignored her and gladly took my 40 bucks.

Several months later I went over to Animels to borrow some tools , I was changing a motor in a 71 Monte Carlo . Animel and his grumpy ass mumbled and pointed towards his shop and as I was going through his tool boxes I heard a slight moan . Walking around his dune buggy he had been building for years , I see this bitch chained to the floor and when she looked up at me , I said well , well, well look at what we have here. I yelled out yo dude you have a bitch chained to the floor. Animel yelled out don’t  feed her yet. So I picked up the tools I needed and walked around the dune buggy and just looked down at the woman and mumbled , fuck me and walked out.

Animel had been living in the warehouse for several years , I really thought the setup was pretty cool. As I walked out I looked at him and just starred and Animel blurted out what dick head? I said nothing and walked out.

As I stated most of what was shared I did not agree with but what I did learn I put it to good use. Sometimes you can listen to someone and only hear what you want and your brain just disregards the rest maybe you know you are doing that or maybe you do not.

 

What I did learn was the mental side of the lifestyle , control and not being controlling , and the need for open communication and listening.

Last year I received a call around 9pm  from someone I had not heard from in several years and was asked if I heard ? Then I was informed Animel had passed , I was stunned and felt great hurt. What is weird it affected me more than when my own parents passed , I felt like I had a great loss even though we had not spoken in 5 years.

A mentor , a teacher , someone you can confide in , someone who will guide and bring out your short comings.

I never knew for sure but I believe Animel was a trainer. His relationships were short but very intense . One day the slave was there and 2 or 3 months would pass and the slave was gone as fast as she appeared.

There were no task giving , no test , just hours and hours of conversations , questions and sharing life experiences.

One topic I concentrated on was Behavior Modification , changing someone to fit my needs and my needs only. Changing habits , the way someone spoke , acted in public and private , the way one sat and even walked , and all can be done without the slave even knowing. This is what I not only wanted but needed.

I learned anger had no place in a Master/slave relationship , how could a master be respected if he was full of anger and rage ? Every time , you scream , call names or even getting physical , verbal abuse is just as bad as physical , each time you lose a little more respect.

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Does Abuse Cross The Line

Posted in abuse, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Slave, Submission, Submissive on September 5, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

The title does not even have to pertain to the lifestyle , you can be completely vanilla. Many times abuse , or the one being abused does not even recognize the signs even when it becomes physical. The mind fucking part of the abuse , the verbal abuse the controlling aspect of the relationship. Controlling the times you are out of the house be it doing errands or grocery shopping. Being slapped or knocked down because you were 3 minutes late getting home , being accused of fucking around , when in fact the abuser is the one fucking around.

Telling you that you never do anything right , never having anything good to say about you and if it does get physical and when he apologizes he expects you to lay on your back and spread your legs…  If a man fucks around on you once he will do it again , just like if a man ever hits you he will do it again and each time apologize and beg you to forgive. At that point and time he may be serious , or could be fucking with your head…

Demanding passwords to all of your accounts , checking and banking information. This is a very bad idea and no one has a reason to want such information. This all falls under insecurity , this falls under the controlling thing , it inflates his ego.

Demanding submission is a one way street , the abuser sees it as you submitting but you are really submitting out of fear. The fear of being scared but also the fear of being alone. The greatest human fear is the fear of loss.

Words have a far greater impact on the mind , works have a great impact on your self esteem.  Names like you stupid bitch , you dumb cunt the list goes on and on.

At the end of the day you are to lay on your back with legs spread and you are expected to take what is giving to you and you pretend you like it just to please..

The controlling insecure Dom lays all the blame on the submissive when the relationship crashes . She was not real or she was not submissive enough or she was not trainable. The truth is you got wise and saw the light , you realized you had to escape but it is to late many times the damage is already done. You now carry scares deep inside and will probably never trust again.

This type of relationship often takes place with those who are new to the lifestyle and have had no experience. These Dog prey on those who no absolutely nothing and you rely on the information giving to you is right. This is when the isolation takes place and cuts you off from the outside world. Cuts you off from family and friends because of his insecurities probably stemming from as far back as his childhood and upbringing.

Many times not all the time Alcohol plays a huge role in behavior , the more they drink the angrier they become , possibly a drug habit but you really dread it when a bottle is opened.

Forcing you to give all of your passwords to your email and social sites , even sometimes posting he is the one who monitors your page such as fetlife , again this comes from being insecure. Giving your banking information can at times run into big problems. I have seen a submissive wake to only find their bank account had been drained after a failed relationship.

Then mind is powerful it can work with us or in some cases work against us. Being forced to sleep with other , you agree because you just want to please. Being passed around like a piece of meat without a care. This comes from their ego , their insecurities , their need to show they are in charge. You could be one who enjoys such play and if it fits you have fun but for those who do not wish to take part could be very damaging.

At any giving time you have the right to say no , you have the right to just walk away. You have but only one life , what do you want to do with it?

 

Vile

 

My Dark Side

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, Consensual, Consistency, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, I own every hole, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am like a perennial flower , you think I am gone , then Boom I pop back up.

 

I suppose we all have thoughts and most of us even have fantasies and the same with both , somethings are just better off left as thoughts or fantasies. Sometimes our sexual desires can even become dark , the art of controlling every move , tied up , with a hood , total darkness. I have a set of leather cuffs that was made just for Arianna , and I love chain , thick chain then pad locked. If you use rope if someone wants out bad enough they can do it , it may take a while but one can escape. The Hood I have is made from spandex but it has a blindfold inside , so there is total darkness. I believe there may be a touch of fear when one loses their sight.

I suppose as a Dominant we all at some point come up with what we consider to be twisted thoughts. I am not speaking of any physical harm , I do not like putting any type of marks or bruises on my property , I am more mental , I enjoy being in the head , all the mind fucks , the not knowing.

I have been thinking of like a breaking weekend , kinda like a kidnapping , of course part role play but the not knowing what will happen. Just using for a whole weekend not saying a word. A couple of months ago I made a nice spreader bar and have yet to use it , timing has been one thing it seems we are always busy.

I find a few things to be humiliating and one of my favorite is face fucking , man I love that gagging feeling , and that sounds like a song to me. While sex is not the most important part of a relationship , there are somethings that are important to me and one is oral sex , I have had many a blowjobs but have came across very few who were either really good at it or those who tried really hard and was just not there. Anal sex is very important to me , the reason it is about submission , submission in my eyes. I not only want every hole , I need every hole.

I have acquired a few toys one being something I have been after for a long time and that is a spanking bench , the other was giving to me is a really nice fucking machine. The machining is almost brand new and was very expensive when first purchased. The girls do not really care for it but I enjoy watching it being used.

I like being in control , I take that back I need to be in control , I am in control of not only my life , my surroundings , and if I make a mistake then everything falls on me. I am in control at work for the most and 99% of the time I get what I want.

As a Dominant you have to be able to separate your feelings , you can still care for and even love , but when it comes to using what is yours , you have to be in a different frame of mind. What happens often is a Dominant will start to feel guilty , the feeling of guilt when playing , you start to grow a soft side and when you do this it changes who you were when the two of you first met. When you change , when you let your feelings get in the way , your slave will be the first to notice the difference , the mindset of the slave will change and will start to push barriers. Once you lose control of the mindset , once you lose control , it is impossible to regain. The slave has already seen that soft side , the side of feeling guilty and there is no turning back.

Just as you train your slave , you the dominant has to train your mind , this is a mistake I made more than once and I always wanted to blame the slave. It is very important to lay all of your needs on the table when you start to negotiate the relationship , If you truly have a need for something do not give in , this just means the slave you have met is not the one for you. If you do give in , the subject will come up again at some point and you cannot go back on your word.

We take 1 we give back 5 , what I am talking about is the more we take the more we have to give back. We must remain positive and give positive feed back , we need to give that reassurance , we need to praise even at times when not needed. I express my appreciation all the time , even telling I appreciate everything you are doing after all it makes my life easier.

To train is to change someones thought process , make changes in ones behavior , make changes to fit your needs. The mindset of the Dominant who own , your slave is valued property. The slave is for your use , be it for service , communicating , or sexual. Lets drop the kink side of things for just a second. Once you are inside the head , you know what makes the slave tick , the thought process , why the slave does certain things , the decisions that are made , to include their interest , likes and dislikes , foods and movies , music. Days that are special , Birthdays , Holidays , places the slave likes to visit , you get to the point you know the slave better than they do , then and only then can you begin true training.

You pile on a bunch of senseless rules that has no meaning , except to worship your cock , or not allowed to wear panties or maybe a bra. Those rules have zero meaning , the only benefit you get is getting your dick sucked but that comes later because you want the slave to want to please you .

I am huge on Behavior modification but it has to be consensual , agreed on with both Master and Slave and it has to be a need for the slave , a true need.  The relationship needs to be consensual , there needs to be negotiations prior to an agreement. You do not have to explain what your training will consist of , or when it will start.  If you explain anything a rule , maybe a protocol you explain it in such detail there are no questions.

Just because a rule is broken does not mean punishment , after all there are mistakes. Life does happen , things get in the way , if there is a resistance to something talk and find out what the root of the problem is. If a rule is broken does not mean you beat the slaves ass or smack them around , you sit down and talk like two adults and find out what happened. My two favorite words are Choices and Consequences. There has to be consequences to ones choices , just as there has to be rewards for the good that has been done. If we as Dominants take one we give back 10 , if we take two we give back 20. We have to give more than we take.

I have thoughts , thoughts of just rough raw fucking , like maybe a rape scene , or kidnapping , long hours of bondage and humiliation. My favorite before anal is face fucking , probably the biggest rush for me , the control and at times the forcing.

Maybe I am not as dark as I thought looking back over what I have written , to me I am normal. I do know when you are in control you are making decisions for two or three depending on your home , but everything is on the Dominants shoulders.

I get pleasure from using what is mine , I get pleasure in using as I see fit to please me.

Vile

 

 

 

 

My Human Pet

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Human Pet, Master And Slave, Movie The Pet, Pet play, Submission, Submissive, The Pet, Total Submission, Training Arianna with tags , , , , on November 11, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I tend to be spontaneous , acting without a word , just doing. I find by just doing and not giving a chance to think I get a better response , or better than if I brought it up , talking about it . When I do that it gives Arianna a chance to think about what is going to happen. I like the spontaneous reaction , the not knowing. the not being able to guess , kinda like fucking she never knows which hole I am going to hit or maybe all three , she just does not know.

I guess one of the areas I lack in is affection , I am more verbal or a gentle pat on the head good girl type of guy. Most days I do tell both Arianna and Lynn how much I appreciate them because I do. I have schedules in place , Protocols and rules , task that have to be done all of which get completed , and this makes my life much easier.

As mentioned before there are no clothes allowed in the home unless requested and only if I approve. Sometimes I will grant permission but for the most I do not. Lynn I allow more so than Arianna.

This past Thursday sitting on the couch , Lynn was in her room talking on the phone , I got up walked to the closet and picked out a leash we use for our dogs, I walked over to the couch and had Arianna get on all fours and she did not say a word. I slipped the leash around her collar and told her to stay. I walked to the kitchen picked out a bowl put water in it and set it on the floor. I then grabbed a small piece of chocolate and I would use it as a small treat at some point.

Walking over to the couch I picked up the leash and said come on and still not a word out of Ariannas mouth. I slowly walked her , stopping telling her to sit and she sat with palms on her thighs, again come and slowly walking , stopping telling her to sit again sitting upright palms on thighs. At this time I gave her praise holding her head against my thigh rubbing her hair telling her how good she was.  Again walking her over to the bowl of water and told her to drink and again without a word she began to drink. Telling her to sit and again palms on thighs I fed her a small piece of chocolate and then there was a small giggle not a giggle thinking it was funny but a giggle she could not believe what had just happened.

Walking her back to the couch I placed her in front of the TV and I sat on the couch and used her as a footstool for a short time. Telling her to get up on the couch on all fours I began to inspect her , spreading her ass wide open and her pussy. The inspection is something I have started doing on a weekly basis. The idea of inspecting is to put her in a different frame of mind.

Just as with the pet dog it was to put her in a different frame of mind and it did. It made her feel closer to me , it also gave her a break , a break meaning taking all of the slave responsibilities off of the table giving her a sense of freedom. It gave her mind a chance to let go knowing I was there to take care of her and showing a different kind of affection.

The movie The Pet I really liked for the most the beginning was good and the story line was good. Seeking and training someone to be your own personal human pet , but towards the end the movie took a turn and then the human slave trade came into play, human greed came into play and the story had a very bad ending with the loss of his pet.

What I liked about Thursday was the no reaction , the willingness to just go with the flow, the no questions. What really surprised me was how well Arianna responded to the different commands and not giving it a thought.

My thoughts were correct it did put Arianna in a different frame of mind, her submission grew deeper and now the want to be led on a leash has become a want.

So there will be much more to come…

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Human%20pet

 

A human who sees them selves as a pet, Often a loved one such as a significant other being their master. Wears leashes, collars and are lead around by their master on the leash. Can be male or female.
The goth human pet and her fiance were kicked off of a bus because she wore a collar and leash.

 

 

Vile

The Fall Of The Married Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Baby Girl, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Consensual, Daddy Dom, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, http://bestslavetraining.com/, infidelity, Married Dominant, NCSF, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , on January 22, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to start off by saying I am really pissed off. This past year has really been fucked up , not with my life but our election process , protestors , crying when losing , but that is not what I want to cover right now but it falls into the same category.

Fetlife is an awesome social Site for like minded people. Fetlife has thousands of groups and forums to allow those with little to know experience to learn and meet others if you so wish….. Every kink you could ever think of some you know then others are like what the fuck.

Unfortunately there are stupid people in the world , there are those who do not give a fuck, and there are those who simply do not care. As with any site you have to be careful fuck even eharmony has had bad things happen , Christian Mingle , you know shit happens.

What I mean by shit happens there have been several rapes , probably more because over half go unreported.

As with any website when you take money you have to go through a Merchant to handle you’re credit cards. It turns out the Merchant thought Fetlife was a liability when some of the fetish’s that were listed, and many have been removed , as with some profiles and some even had to change the screen name.

 

I cannot express the caution that needs to be taking when meeting a New Dominant. You the Slave , you the Submissive , you the Baby Girl what ever you fall under you have to be careful.

There is a Vetting process you should put the Dominant through , it is you’re right to know the guy inside and out. You have the right to ask questions , email or text others he knows in the community. Lets face it anyone could say they are a Dominant , a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Most will tell you they have been in the lifestyle for 10 , 15 , and 20 years. Most will tell you they are very experienced , when in fact they do not have a clue and this is where you can get hurt. Once you are tied up spread open wide you are fair game and you cannot do anything about it until its over. Think about that really hard , I mean really think.

99% of Dominants are active in the community , roughly 75% want to make a difference in the community , they want to help. Those who tell you they are not you need to find out why? Some will say it is because of work they cannot be seen , but the truth is even like Munchs there are no signs up that say hey this is where are the Dominants and Slaves are meeting. I know Teachers , Lawyers , Doctors who are all lifestyle friendly.

You also have to find out if the Dominant will support you if you want to be active in the community that is what a Dom is suppose to do..

Then we have the Almighty Married Dom , the Married Dom who goes behind his wife and cheats. These are not Dominants these are dudes looking for kink. These are guys who want to find someone who will do things his wife will not.

You are there for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to be used , and you are used on his terms when he able to sneak out of the house. If you think about it if he was a Dom he would be running his own home and would not be looking for a submissive right ?

Having a Married Dominant is a lonely life , when you email or text most of the time it is a week or longer before you even get a response. The reason is I am to busy , work is really crazy , I just didn’t have time. Think about those reasons for a minute, really he has no time to text or email really ? It takes roughly 30 seconds to send a text and about a minute to send an email.

You’re training will consist of sucking cock , and laying on you’re back , getting you’re ass beat for no reason and you take what is giving because you feel you have something to prove.

Training is really an in depth process , it is a process that does not take a week , two weeks , three weeks I am talking months. Training is a hands on process, training is a eye to eye process. You cannot do it texting , you cannot do it face timing , or sending videos , naked pictures or doing anal training alone while he jacks off over the phone.

There are actually two more side to this story though and both are Okay if you are happy with seeing a Married Dom and getting banged once a month, yea the no strings attached thing and that is okay, it does not make you into something bad everyone has needs.

Then there is the Single Submissive who knows the game , she knows about the married Dom , she knows what he is up to , she knows he is sneaking behind his wife’s back and she knows he is scum , pretty much worthless.

I have blogged about Married men before , as a matter of fact several times and not one time has a married dude ever come forward and try to explain his actions.

So I recently received a comment from a single submissive who knows the game , but the trick is , while the Dominant is playing the game she is one step ahead. In fact she is playing the game , and she is running the show. She plays until she gets tired of him then drops him like a bad cold.

I love it because in the end , his ego goes from a 10 to about a 2.5. I cannot even imagine how someone would feel on that end of the stick.

When I responded I was ecstatic , in total awe , I had to re-read it a dozen times…

So here is it..

I’m a female sub. I love married men because I know where it begins and ends. Pants off, pants on, and back out the door to his miserable wife. I get off, he gets off, and we get on with our lives. I keep my feelings in check which is easy because the foundation of our arrangement is built on 1)lies (bc he’s a cheater) and 2)fantasy. I’m usually the one that has to remind these married slobs the shine will rub off, this is not everyday life. Unless you are already married and in a DS relationship. After 1 month I’m the one who usually gets bored like you said, married men get caught up and the attention is not there. I’m fairly new to this lifestyle. I’m also a medical professional and I’m a mother. I don’t need love from a married man! All I want in life is good sex with someone who understands my submissive side, to be the best mother I can be, and to further my career.

Bam how fucking awesome it that, like a Black widow use and then go in for the kill..

Remember you got to be safe , you have to think with a clear head, you have to ask questions and yes even ask for proof. If you meet up with someone and you have not told anyone if something happens then it is all on you…..

Make that safe call, take a pic of his tag , find out where he works , where he lives, where he hangs out. This is you’re right…

bestslavetraining.com is an awesome source for information…. Check it out

NCSF Has a ton of legal information when it comes to the lifestyle check it out.

https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

Vile

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.

Master/slave

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..

 

 

 

Sex and Submission

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @ http://sirfrancobolli.org/  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….

Beltcuffs

 

Vile